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Kenny Ireland Vote score: 6396Kenny Ireland

"Dad would not let her wear a mini".

02/12/19 19:36:12

stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

Caught by the old bill.

29/11/19 12:05:10

....For not paying his bill.  --dave the rave
Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

"Where's gran?"
- "I think she popped out for a hare cut"

11/11/19 8:00:22

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19925Dan Nicholls

Leaked photos of Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch on honeymoon.

30/10/19 20:00:36

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

Apparently it's a house full of squatters.

21/10/19 19:02:17

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Bishop takes king

18/10/19 19:00:10

Mmmm, bishop takes king.... Is this cathedral in Prague? Then the joke is Czech, mate. :^)  --Crunchy Chords
Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

"For goodness sake Colin, you and your bloody obsession for taking road kill home..."

26/09/19 7:05:13

Lol --The Wolf
Tony Edwards Vote score: 42619Tony Edwards

A gas, poor Yorick!

12/09/19 19:02:06

Mark England Vote score: 24078Mark England

"It's sore?. Well I told you to stick to the italian, but no, you had to go and eat the Indian"

19/08/19 8:37:25

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

The Farmer Sutra

10/08/19 9:18:45

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8839Crunchy Chords
Dave wasnt impressed at how Legal and General settled his claim for the roof repair.

02/08/19 19:00:38

I was too slow putting on my Poppins caption but I think yours could stay considering how obvious Poppins is and your caption was great. --Stephen Bean
Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

Pen pusher

24/07/19 7:00:10

The pen is mightier than the sheared. :^) --Crunchy Chords
James Lennox Vote score: 25861James Lennox

Looks like the match went to sudden death.

17/07/19 7:30:33

Chris Halliwell Vote score: 6227Chris Halliwell

Note to self......

07/07/19 19:02:08

Stu Dent Vote score: 5751Stu Dent

Bet he thought he would make a clean getaway

29/06/19 19:00:14

Troompa Loompa Vote score: 24530Troompa Loompa

Apparently in the southern hemisphere the cat would be curled up facing the other way.

28/06/19 12:04:42

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42619Tony Edwards

That's another fine mess.

14/06/19 11:26:01

Anything that evokes a bit of Stan and Olly deserves a vote . --stone face
Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

Bob Dylan videos aren't what they used to be..

06/06/19 8:23:56

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

"I suppose a blue job is out of the question?"

03/06/19 21:16:27

John  Glover Vote score: 23223John Glover

Passing the buck.

12/05/19 19:45:04

Stu Dent Vote score: 5751Stu Dent

Claustrophobia helpline, "How can I help?"

08/05/19 7:09:53

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8839Crunchy Chords

"Well, you're no Heidi Klum,

but you'll do..."

01/05/19 7:04:12

Chris Halliwell Vote score: 6227Chris Halliwell

🎡🎡 These boots were made for walkies....... 🎡🎡

29/04/19 19:32:53

Karyn Harrison Vote score: 13863Karyn Harrison

When Dave won a week's holiday in Iceland he was expecting something a bit better.

20/04/19 11:25:54

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38816Welsh Rarebit

Planet of the Vapes

19/04/19 19:00:04

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42619Tony Edwards

The Best Little Horsehouse in Texas.

16/04/19 20:09:15

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19925Dan Nicholls

FENTON! FENTOOOOOOON!

14/04/19 7:17:42

stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

For the first time in a generation, the people of Newcastle catch a glimpse of the sun.

12/04/19 7:03:13

Fake news, the baths don't open until 10.00am. --John Glover
Tony Edwards Vote score: 42619Tony Edwards

Breakfast on Tiffany

30/03/19 12:19:08

Mark England Vote score: 24078Mark England

"You spoil that bloody hamster"

30/03/19 8:06:50

Trace Sarge Vote score: 2599Trace Sarge

🎡 Ewe raise me up 🎡

25/03/19 20:15:56

If I had a supervote, I would have given it to you, alas I am but the poor wretch you see before you. --Scrappy Doo
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

NASA unveil the new rover for their next moon landing.

22/03/19 12:29:53

Right so you could be my Auntie Edna or my Uncle Harold or even Chirpy my pet budgie .. --stone face
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says she's 'fine'.

14/03/19 20:05:54

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

Happy hour wasn't going well.

11/03/19 12:09:06

stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

"And the winner of this years fancy dress is- The woman in the front dressed as an albino box jellyfish. Fantastic."

07/03/19 8:08:53

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38816Welsh Rarebit

"When I asked for a continental breakfast...."

17/02/19 20:00:06

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16354Hercules Rockefeller

Jack off all trades

05/02/19 20:04:15

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"Children that was such a lovely day out at the Lion safari, It's such a shame daddy had to stay home and fix the leak in the garage roof"

25/01/19 8:01:36

Funny Bean Vote score: 52459Funny Bean

Manhatton

08/01/19 12:00:04

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

"GOAL!"

07/01/19 13:36:53

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24950Vanessa the Guesser

Pisces of eight

28/12/18 12:00:41

Charlie  Depp Vote score: 21910Charlie Depp

"LET'S MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN"

21/12/18 12:47:04

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

The Hound of Music

17/12/18 8:02:21

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19925Dan Nicholls

Kicked you out for snoring too has she?

26/11/18 12:35:21

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19925Dan Nicholls

Fifty shades of grave.

07/11/18 20:42:22

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19925Dan Nicholls

Kenny Everest

04/11/18 8:06:41

Karyn Harrison Vote score: 13863Karyn Harrison

The homeless are multiplying.

27/10/18 7:21:31

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38816Welsh Rarebit

It's good to see a school keeping photos of its previous pupils.

22/10/18 19:04:08

Charles Gleason Vote score: 834Charles Gleason

Interesting building. How many stories ?

21/10/18 19:02:03

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

"S**t ..... where's the baby?"

07/10/18 20:06:28

Thank you for this one. I've had to Super Vote cos I'm... ahem still tittering. --Vivvy En
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24950Vanessa the Guesser

When you need to look fetching.

05/10/18 12:36:36

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

Took the mother in law out last night. First punch.

30/09/18 19:11:16

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35219Ian Skelding

"Would you like flies with that?"

11/09/18 11:11:10

Charles Gleason Vote score: 834Charles Gleason

Last hoarders please !

09/09/18 8:10:31

Vivvy En Vote score: 16794Vivvy En

I can't see the point of these

08/09/18 19:04:05

Barking Mad Vote score: 144Barking Mad

Take 'em all, they're driving me mad following me about everywhere. I'll put the money in your bag.

31/08/18 7:01:17

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38816Welsh Rarebit

Party Pooper

29/08/18 19:00:13

Nice one, wish I had thought of that! --Greg Curtis
Mark England Vote score: 24078Mark England

Isle of Nan TT

28/08/18 11:07:39

Eamon Moore Vote score: 192Eamon Moore

" I ordered the salmon "

21/08/18 15:07:59

This caption is VERY "New Yorker!" --Greg Curtis
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19925Dan Nicholls

Casper the overfriendly ghost.

15/08/18 8:26:51

Karyn Harrison Vote score: 13863Karyn Harrison

"Don't stand so close to me!"

14/08/18 19:05:16

Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

Cash on Delivery

05/08/18 19:30:19

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

"Damn- I ordered a Bulldozer."

04/08/18 19:24:12

Chris Halliwell Vote score: 6227Chris Halliwell

BackPack and Crack.

20/07/18 11:48:56

Dr Strangelove Vote score: 514Dr Strangelove

David, put your cock away and smile at the camera

19/07/18 14:36:12

Right. We've found the level... ;) --Pussy Galore
ant knee Vote score: 1134ant knee

Winston Churchill: The Official Otterbiography

18/07/18 19:40:19

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24950Vanessa the Guesser

George is really coming out of his shell.

02/07/18 19:00:28

Greg Curtis Vote score: 9503Greg Curtis

Pineapple Concentrate

02/07/18 12:47:56

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38816Welsh Rarebit

"Will you Moray me?"

01/07/18 11:00:16

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

After giving up Sky, Harold had the money to buy a covert shoe camera.

14/06/18 19:16:11

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19925Dan Nicholls

The crafty tortoise had outfoxed the hare again.

14/06/18 11:15:54

Kenny Ireland Vote score: 6396Kenny Ireland

They are just out stretching their legs.

04/06/18 7:35:41

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38816Welsh Rarebit

Mutt Plug

03/06/18 7:00:09

Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

"Business is slow today, son. Release the pigeons."

01/06/18 22:24:11

Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3481Stephen Paterson

Not surprised there's a queue, they've only got a single file.

15/03/18 12:02:00

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20099Mr Dome

Napoleon Bonerparty

14/03/18 12:05:46

To the author: Nice splice! --Greg Curtis
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38816Welsh Rarebit

Coldplay

03/03/18 20:00:54

darn darn darn u beat me to it by 30 secs lol --tony kelly
Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

And I'm fryer tuck!

26/02/18 20:02:46

C CaMel Vote score: 19600C CaMel

She refused to let her weave past

24/02/18 12:22:20

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15724Chris Keegan

I don't usually do the dogs but I put a monkey on this one

23/02/18 20:11:31

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38816Welsh Rarebit

Slip of the tongue.

11/02/18 12:09:21

tony kelly Vote score: 2509tony kelly

''Wow. Who's that gorgeous-looking girl over there?''
'' She's called Medus-''

09/02/18 12:32:37

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24950Vanessa the Guesser

Speed dating

02/02/18 12:30:31

John  Glover Vote score: 23223John Glover

£50

Hover Kraft.

07/01/18 10:11:24

Thank you all for your kind remarks. I was just applying our craft.A huge thank you to Chris for keeping this site going. --John Glover
Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

"Anything else, Mr Kong...?"

17/12/17 20:38:20

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

A shaft of light.

29/10/17 20:00:06

C CaMel Vote score: 19600C CaMel

"Neigh comment"

29/09/17 19:02:17

Perhaps he's too hoarse. --John Glover
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

I think his G-string has just snapped.

07/09/17 11:30:57

Was he playing too many bum notes? --Mr Dome
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

An arse in the pane.

13/08/17 20:23:54

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42619Tony Edwards

Dental sturgeon

23/06/17 11:10:42

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

There wasn't much left of Long John Silver after the cannonball strike, just a leg and testicle.

10/06/17 21:34:44

Nice one, well done for thinking outside of the bollox. Γ°ΕΈΛœβ‚¬ --Smuldo
Richard Burns Vote score: 375Richard Burns

£50

This is the guy who always sits in front of me at the cinema.

22/05/17 16:20:45

Congratulations, Richard. The winner by a neck. --Pete
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3481Stephen Paterson

A typo in their recruitment advert meant one house builder ended up with a specialist in Patois.

07/05/17 8:42:42

You clever cant. --Neil Mackenzie
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24950Vanessa the Guesser

"So, have I passed?"

10/04/17 11:30:43

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24950Vanessa the Guesser

I sent all my kids to boarding school.

25/02/17 12:00:14

Best caption for some time in my 'umble opinionG --Gf j
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19925Dan Nicholls

£50

  Dad?

03/02/17 8:01:14

Thanks all, I love this site and our little community - often cheers me up on a dull day. I bore my wife to tears with it, but it keeps me off the streets... --Dan Nicholls
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

After the accident, police spent two hours measuring skid marks.

30/01/17 12:09:30

Greg Curtis Vote score: 9503Greg Curtis

Storm Trooper

29/01/17 8:23:34

Troompa Loompa Vote score: 24530Troompa Loompa

"Yeah, I'm on patternity leave."

13/01/17 12:22:47

So far, the consensus is..."More cartoons would be GREAT."  --Greg Curtis
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38816Welsh Rarebit

"Hey Jermaine, can you roll my spliff for me? My joints aren't what they used to be"

10/01/17 20:00:10

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