Neil Mackenzie

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	lol x2 Essex Girls struggle to wear knickers on special occasions. 26/07/18 8:00:44	1 23
Ah, that's 'cracked' me up. You're so mean. --Vivvy En
	clever Have you been a victim of workplace pulleying? 03/09/21 6:49:28	22

	Are you a member of the AA Sir. Yes but I missed my session today. 10/07/12 20:08:08	2 22

	lol x2 I am sorry about your loss, but when you get to the other side your hair will be waiting for you. 03/10/13 12:07:03	1 20
I gave a LOL vote but the extra score has not registered! --Zac Kramer
	Gok Wan convinces Sooty he can look good naked 25/10/12 20:00:15	12 20

	Beans in a light sauce. 30/03/20 8:00:10	19

	lol When you catch the biggest fish you've ever caught, and the wife says she's had bigger. 09/02/20 8:14:50	19

	lol clever That's a pass. Says the Volkswagen Diesel Emission Test Engineer. 20/02/18 23:40:24	19

	clever 🎵 Ground Control to Ginger Tom.🎵 11/01/17 8:01:35	1 19
I prefer Rocket Manx. --Troompa Loompa
	lol clever There had been a steady stream of customers all day. 28/09/16 16:09:33	1 19
nice --sandeep chahal
	lol Roy was being stalked by an old flame. 07/01/14 10:12:31	19

	lol Glow ball warning. 29/09/14 23:54:57	18

	clever In Glasgow a ray of sunshine breaks through the dense cloud blanket, completely startling a local Glaswegian. 04/03/20 21:23:11	18

	creative Next time the Elephants are making love you know not to startle them. 25/07/18 8:08:55	1 17
lol --sandeep chahal
	There’s nothing worse than being hung over at work. 29/07/22 8:00:22	16

	Quick you go that way and I’ll go this way. What good will that do? It will tell him to fuck off. 24/01/22 12:47:28	16

	You can't shoot every man I've ever slept with. Give me one reason why not. You don't have enough bullets. 16/08/20 20:20:00	16

	Wait till her Father finds out she is seeing a Coloured Gentleman. 22/12/13 12:19:10	16

	I've got a Thumper of an headache. 26/08/14 9:52:24	15

	I'm going to have to build the kids a tree house. 11/05/14 20:12:14	15

	We should have brought shorts. Nah, beer 'll do. 10/07/13 20:19:01	15

	lol creative x2 Rod Hull demonstrates how to casually walk past an Emu, before catching it unaware and sticking his arm up it's arse. 18/01/13 20:27:34	3 15

	She always was full of herself. 05/07/12 20:00:56	1 15

	It's that time of the month again. 18/04/12 20:00:54	15

	Women 02/04/12 11:12:08	9 15

	Only Dave could get his head stuck in a non stick pan. 21/05/22 20:09:20	1 15

	The origin of the Yellow River. 21/04/21 9:42:35	15

	lol Joe was blind but he knew his wife had took her knickers off. 14/11/20 9:18:05	15

	I've turned the house upside down and I still can't find my car keys. 10/02/20 12:12:55	15

	clever x2 Double Grazing. 03/10/18 7:15:06	1 15
Brilliant! --Funny Bean
	Process food linked to depression. 26/02/18 8:11:19	1 15
"Uh oh, spaghetti woes!" --Greg Curtis
	Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right. 27/01/18 22:26:03	15

	lol creative Romeo Beckham: For God's sake Mum I'm on the phone. 03/09/16 8:08:01	15

	lol Is that why all my Kids are little shits? 29/10/15 8:06:41	15

	Dave you spoil that ferret. 10/04/22 12:23:05	1 14

	Donna you were drunk last night. No I wasn't. OK explain why the oven ready chicken is outside the back door and the cat is in the fridge? 08/05/21 8:22:18	14

	Where's the poop deck? 11/08/20 20:23:30	14

	Farmer:- How many times have I told you not to chew your Pen. 03/10/13 9:43:41	14

	It's time to put on Cassocks. It's time to praise the light. It's time to meet the Puppets on the Pulpit Show tonight. 28/08/13 20:40:03	14

	creative Praying at the Mosque, Ali was lifted up by the power of Allah. Only to have his head repeatedly bashed into the floor for leaving his shoes and socks on. 05/01/14 15:17:29	13

	lol creative If you want a Brick House I can do it for Sixty Thousand, if that's too expensive? I can get my brother to build a Wooden House for Forty Thousand. You want something cheaper; well my Youngest Brother will build you a Straw House for Twenty Thousand. 13/07/13 8:00:11	1 13

	lol It said on the Seed packet that they grew to two Feet. 05/05/13 13:53:47	1 13
Bit leggy though. --John Glover
	After the Accident Santa was charged with Drink Driving. He'd only had 91.8 million sherries. 14/03/13 12:00:12	13

	creative Barry couldn't start playing he was waiting for the Conductor. 05/03/13 13:51:09	13

	Another small business has Folded. 06/10/12 20:09:10	2 13

	How does he afford a car like that? He must be peddling something 14/04/12 20:04:53	13

	Do you not do Apollo neck? 26/03/22 8:41:26	1 13
''Not after we had problems with the crew.'' --Dave Bryan
	lol The moment when Clarence became cross eyed. 19/03/22 20:41:45	13

	No one told her she qualified for a free bus pass. 12/02/22 9:03:41	13

	lol He is medically exempt from wearing a mask. 21/12/21 12:00:09	13

	It wasn’t easy getting on Caption me, I had to fight the Cat. 12/11/21 7:26:50	1 13
If you think I look mauled, you should see the state of the cat --Glyn Evans
	creative Don’t worry Dad, Picasso couldn’t draw either but he convinced everyone he could. 15/08/21 20:08:49	2 13
The funny thing is, this pic is kind of representative of Picasso's work. He'd mastered oil painting by the age of 8, and produced some great realist works by 15. Then he started tending towards the avant-garde, which led to the cubism and surre... --James Lennox
	A belle pepper. 08/03/21 8:04:33	13

	The Artist doesn't charge for his work, but the Bull does. 18/04/20 9:30:47	13

	Saviour legs and sit down. 22/02/20 8:13:48	2 13
Willie - 'Four' heâ€™s a jolly good fellow --Stephen Bean
	clever x2 Romancing the Stone. 19/11/19 19:24:22	1 13
It's a shame this was a late entry. Hopefully more people see it. --James Lennox
	Day two of his diet and Dave had started to hallucinate. 26/06/19 16:36:22	13

	He's watching BC 1. 22/04/18 8:00:57	13

	creative It is so big there is a no fly zone around it. 19/09/16 8:08:08	13

	It was the rutting season so he thought he'd spruce him self up a bit. 06/02/16 12:14:52	13

	Paddy you don't need to do that. But that's what the sign says. You're not reading it properly, it says your dog, and it's not your dog it's Murphy's. 11/09/15 8:22:30	1 13
Brilliant :-) --Chris Beach
	So when he attempts to assassinate her Majesty he will in fact assassinate me. Then we’ll grab him. Any questions? Won’t you be dead Sir? 05/08/22 8:00:13	12

	Don’t you just hate it when the Teacher is hovering around the classroom. 23/12/21 13:01:05	12

	They'd been trained not to eat the chocolate Easter eggs but no one said anything about a rabbit. He was delicious. 02/04/21 12:13:46	12

	lol St Trinians award day. Rose received the third place medal for alerting the headmistress the school inspector was coming. Mabel received the second place cup for hockey having hospitalised rival school players yet only being sent off once when she took out the referee. First place goes to Jasmine for fencing after luring the lorry driver towards the bushes and then when his trousers were around his ankles running and driving off with the lorry and enough chain link fence to repair the tennis and netball courts. Rachael deserves a round of applause for sneaking onto the Podium. 08/11/20 19:13:38	12

	creative It's been like this ever since the woman in the flat above got a new Dyson. 06/04/20 18:24:52	12

	A memory phone mattress. 16/02/20 8:04:52	12

	Could I see the dogu please. 08/01/20 20:01:48	12

	Why didn't the chicken cross the road? 10/10/19 8:06:12	12

	He was cut out for this job. 06/06/19 8:14:44	12

	His teeth are as false as his tears. 29/01/19 21:25:54	12

	She gave me that come to bed look. 21/06/17 9:03:21	12

	clever These Kangaroo bottle opener's weren't exactly jumping off the shelves. 28/05/17 20:44:56	12

	Paddy started the venture after the failure of his sign writing business. 21/06/16 8:05:59	1 12
A record 45 seconds before that one kicked in... --Greg Curtis
	They're just Mates. 16/03/16 8:09:28	12

	Thieving Basket. 05/11/15 8:19:28	12

	Rear Guard 13/07/15 8:03:37	12

	Have you seen my nuts? With all that fur there is no chance. 06/06/15 17:37:25	12

	A narrow parking space, it's only six feet wide. 05/05/15 12:00:11	12

	They were both arrested. One for getting his Organ out in Public and the other for Twiddling his Knob. 07/02/13 8:56:43	12

	I can't think of a Punch line. 26/12/12 20:00:10	12

	Available in Left and Right Hand Drive. 01/10/12 20:06:30	12

	I wish she wouldn't do that, now I've got to think clean thoughts before I can get out of the water. 10/12/11 20:38:14	12

	lol Artist impression. Yes that’s the Bastard that stole my chips. 21/07/22 21:25:28	11

	So your husband's a policeman? 05/07/21 9:28:30	11

	lol You always get someone who doesn't obey the sign. Dave was caught washing his Ass. 19/04/20 8:00:15	1 11

	MILP 02/04/20 20:00:11	3 11
I thought it was 'Meryl I'd like to pluck'? --Lucky Elperro
	creative The Cardiganologist says he's dead. 11/01/20 10:56:39	11

	Squatters evicted from tree house. 15/12/19 20:24:40	11

	lol clever He drives the prison bus, he is known to the inmates as the Flat Head Screw Driver. 18/04/19 23:57:31	11

	Chicken Little 05/05/18 13:06:11	11

	Why are you feeling down? I miss Michelle. 07/10/17 9:09:22	11

	Bloody Health and Safety Reggaelations! 07/05/17 9:22:13	11

	The new Teenager range from What Ever. 04/10/16 20:32:22	11

	Last seen Bob's Tavern wearing a gold top. 07/04/16 13:21:09	11

	His heavy breathing alerted Customs, who found 2000 fags in his suitcase. 18/07/15 22:27:04	11

	🎵 We're on the road to Norway 🎵 18/06/15 20:08:59	11

	Darjeeling I'm home. 31/10/14 12:06:05	11

	Reginald Peregrine faked his own suicide. 28/09/14 20:14:22	11

	creative How do I avoid Red Eye? Try to focus on Guys without arrows stuck in their heads. 02/07/14 21:00:35	11

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Neil Mackenzie

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