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Neil Mackenzie
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A coral bed?
2:08am
comment on caption:
The sea bed wasn't the bed Jack had wanted to get her into. [Neil Mackenzie]
You're preaching to the choir. In 2030, we don't tolerate harpoon crime. There are three general rules to follow to avoid getting spear gunned
1)Avoid certain dives and you'll be fine.
2)Don't fancy dress as marine creatures that generally get harpooned
3)Don't do any William Tell stunts by shooting a buoy (or other object) balanced on a boy's head
8:24am
comment on caption:
London 2030 stabbing are down but speargun violence is on the rise. [Neil Mackenzie]
The women or the flamingoes?
8:10am
comment on caption:
Who would of thought that in the year 2030 flamingos would identify as women. They now have access to Ladies Toilets, although straw has to be put down because they tend to shit on the floor. [Neil Mackenzie]
🙂
12:04am
comment on caption:
Don’t worry Dad, Picasso couldn’t draw either but he convinced everyone he could. [Neil Mackenzie]
The funny thing is, this pic is kind of representative of Picasso's work. He'd mastered oil painting by the age of 8, and produced some great realist works by 15. Then he started tending towards the avant-garde, which led to the cubism and surrealism he's famous for. There's a great quote of his:
"The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?"
11:04pm
comment on caption:
Don’t worry Dad, Picasso couldn’t draw either but he convinced everyone he could. [Neil Mackenzie]
Looks like the parcel may come in a box.
2:03pm
comment on caption:
Wife :- Has my parcel come?
Me :- Doesn’t look like it’s cum yet. [Neil Mackenzie]
He didn't answer and ran away wearing a mask.
11:46am
comment on caption:
We asked an intelligent North American did he vote for Biden? [Neil Mackenzie]
It's​ one of those Roman candles.
8:58am
comment on caption:
Spider-Man held the Pope’s hand with both hands to resist the temptation to use his lighter to light the candle on the Pope’s head. [Neil Mackenzie]
They could have been mis-reincarnated - it's serious being a Panda in a Human's body and vice versa. It's led to the rise of the PERFs (the Panda-Exclusionary Radical Front) and it's incredibly hard for a Human who's a Panda to be accepted by the Panda community. However Pandas do sometimes forget such instances like when Pandas fall in love with their Zoo Keepers but when that happens Pandas conveniently forget. What about when Pandas want to be Human? - I mean Kung Fu Panda's anthropomorphised. That was a breakthrough in film as no one had ever anthropomorphised a Panda before allowing screen time for a humanised Panda. Luckily there weren't riots in the streets!
2:48pm
comment on caption:
The baby Panda was accused of being a bigot because he refused to accept the men dressed as Panda’s were real Pandas. [Neil Mackenzie]
He was glued to his seat.
11:17am
comment on caption:
Peter wished he’d worn his baggy jeans, tight Lycra and unexpected erection can be difficult to conceal. He had to fake feeling dizzy and sit there for ten minutes after she left. [Neil Mackenzie]