Neil Mackenzie

That's a pass. Says the Volkswagen Diesel Emission Test Engineer.

20/02/18 23:40:24

♫ Ground Control to Ginger Tom.♫

11/01/17 8:01:35

I prefer Rocket Manx. --Troompa Loompa

There had been a steady stream of customers all day.

28/09/16 15:09:33

nice --sandeep chahal

Roy was being stalked by an old flame.

07/01/14 10:12:31

Glow ball warning.

29/09/14 22:54:57

Next time the Elephants are making love you know not to startle them.

25/07/18 7:08:55

lol --sandeep chahal

Wait till her Father finds out she is seeing a Coloured Gentleman.

22/12/13 12:19:10

I've got a Thumper of an headache.

26/08/14 8:52:24

I'm going to have to build the kids a tree house.

11/05/14 19:12:14

We should have brought shorts.
Nah, beer 'll do.

10/07/13 19:19:01

Rod Hull demonstrates how to casually walk past an Emu, before catching it unaware and sticking his arm up it's arse.

creative x2

18/01/13 20:27:34

She always was full of herself.

05/07/12 19:00:56

It's that time of the month again.

18/04/12 19:00:54

Women

02/04/12 10:12:08

clever x2

Double Grazing.

03/10/18 6:15:06

Brilliant! --Funny Bean

Process food linked to depression.

26/02/18 8:11:19

"Uh oh, spaghetti woes!" --Greg Curtis

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right.

27/01/18 22:26:03

Romeo Beckham: For God's sake Mum I'm on the phone.

03/09/16 7:08:01

Is that why all my Kids are little shits?

29/10/15 8:06:41

Farmer:- How many times have I told you not to chew your Pen.

03/10/13 8:43:41

It's time to put on Cassocks.
It's time to praise the light.
It's time to meet the Puppets on the Pulpit Show tonight.

28/08/13 19:40:03

Praying at the Mosque, Ali was lifted up by the power of Allah. Only to have his head repeatedly bashed into the floor for leaving his shoes and socks on.

05/01/14 15:17:29

If you want a Brick House I can do it for Sixty Thousand, if that's too expensive? I can get my brother to build a Wooden House for Forty Thousand. You want something cheaper; well my Youngest Brother will build you a Straw House for Twenty Thousand.

13/07/13 7:00:11

It said on the Seed packet that they grew to two Feet.

05/05/13 12:53:47

Bit leggy though. --John Glover

After the Accident Santa was charged with Drink Driving.
He'd only had 91.8 million sherries.

14/03/13 12:00:12

Barry couldn't start playing he was waiting for the Conductor.

05/03/13 13:51:09

Another small business has Folded.

06/10/12 19:09:10

How does he afford a car like that?
He must be peddling something

14/04/12 19:04:53

He's watching BC 1.

22/04/18 7:00:57

It is so big there is a no fly zone around it.

19/09/16 7:08:08

It was the rutting season so he thought he'd spruce him self up a bit.

06/02/16 12:14:52

Paddy you don't need to do that.
But that's what the sign says.
You're not reading it properly, it says your dog, and it's not your dog it's Murphy's.

11/09/15 7:22:30

Brilliant :-) --Chris Beach

His teeth are as false as his tears.

29/01/19 21:25:54

She gave me that come to bed look.

21/06/17 8:03:21