The Wolf

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lol clever 18/06/19 20:00:13		21 29
Wow! I can't believe I've won, such a nice surprise! Thank you very much for the votes and kind words. Also thanks to Chris for picking the caption but most importantly for giving us the site! It's a privilege to be on the board and a pleasure ... --The Wolf

lol x2 creative 11/03/20 8:00:13		23 28
Thank you very much for your votes and kind words. There were some great captions this month so feel very fortunate to win the top prize. I've always found Caption.me a great and fun distraction from the otherwise stressful day to day of life. Th... --The Wolf
	lol Antarctic expedition diary. Day 1. Me and my fellow explorers were getting tired. The freezing conditions and sharp winds were starting to affect our strength and patience. After a 50 mile hike through the difficult terrain, we stopped to eat some energy gels from our survival packs. What happened next we could have never predicted. Derbyshire Police turned up and fined us Â£200 for having a f*cking picnic. 14/01/21 12:10:07	24


lol creative clever 10/11/20 8:00:16		21 24
Many thanks to you all for your votes and kind words. Additional thanks to Chris for providing and maintaining the site and for choosing me for this month's winner. This was one of those captions which I nearly didn't post because I thought it w... --The Wolf
	Dear Santa. For Christmas this year I'd love some thermal underpants. 05/10/20 20:27:23	24

	lol "Mum, there's still no sign of Santa." 16/09/23 20:03:37	23

	lol "Tony, why is there a shit in the sink?" 11/09/23 12:03:27	23

	lol x2 Interflora has really gone downhill. 04/09/23 8:16:28	23

	lol "THIS IS THE POLICE. PULL OVER, GET OUT OF THE VAN AND SPREAD 'EM." 02/04/23 20:37:25, edited: 02/04/23 20:48:48	1 23
He should start doing donuts as a distraction --KimJong Pun
	lol Half an hour he's been on those tits now. My Dad's got one hell of an appetite. Fri 12:00:24	22

	"How many do you smoke a day?" "30 love." 10/09/23 12:03:55	22

	"We're a bit overdressed for dogging." 30/01/23 8:12:45	22

	creative clever "Wow! The people in the upstairs flat have got a powerful hoover." 03/12/22 8:00:07	3 22
Doing the Hoover hover. --Willie Johnson
	lol F-cking typical. NOW she's in the mood. 01/02/22 8:35:06	22

	clever x2 You know you're desperate for a shag when you're willing to rip the roof off your house to make a sign. 04/05/21 20:14:26	22

	lol "JANET, JUST LEAVE IT, WE'LL BUY ANOTHER LILO" 23/11/20 20:01:37	22

	lol "I can't believe you're doing this to me. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life" "Sorry babe but you know Thursday is mud wrestling day for me and Dave. I'll be back in time for the first dance" 23/07/20 12:24:05	22

	lol x2 Lucy went to extreme lengths to protect herself from the Coronavirus. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten that opening an umbrella indoors was unlucky and she was run over by a bus on the way home. 28/03/20 20:10:40	22

	clever "I'm sorry for yawning but I find your company really boring" 12/06/19 12:25:47	22

	clever Filming has begun for the highly anticipated new period drama 05/06/19 8:10:30	22

	lol creative x3 Dave and Lucy were inconsolable after witnessing their Corgi being drowned by a random Alsatian. 04/03/23 9:39:08	21


lol 02/12/21 12:00:09		17 21
Wow, what a nice surprise. Thanks for all of your kind words and for all the fun and silliness. And thanks to Chris for providing our creative caption world and for choosing me as the winner. Happy new year to everyone. Let's have a good one. --The Wolf
	lol "...and then Barbie said, 'Ken, I'm sick of you, go f*ck yourself'. So I nipped down to Toys R Us, picked you up and here we are" 27/06/21 20:29:49	1 21

	lol "So, I'm just chilling in the garden, minding my own business and having a bit of a snooze, and then it happened. F*cking lawnmower. I know he's bored but the quicker that bastard goes back to work the better" 03/04/20 12:00:39	21

	creative x2 Being a first responder to a car accident on the Simpsons was a sobering experience"¦ 02/04/20 12:00:09	1 21
Looks like he's covered in Marge. --Karyn Harrison
	clever Pepper pig 01/12/19 20:00:06	21

	clever Beef Wellingtons 16/09/19 20:00:05	21

	clever Shopping Maul 08/08/19 20:44:45	21

	clever Goblet 24/04/19 12:51:55	21

	Diary entry. 23.03.23 It's my second day of being a vegetarian. The hallucinations are getting worse and anywhere I know there's meat, I imagine it being a huge delicious burger and I want to eat it. Today was also my Nan's funeral which was horrible when the hearse arrived. 23/03/23 20:00:40	3 20
Given all the formaldehyde I'm actually picturing Nan as the pickle. --James Lennox
	lol creative “This is a visitor announcement. Due to a tragic incident earlier today at the zoo, we are no longer able to sell frisbees in the gift shop.” 08/12/22 20:00:11	20

	clever It's always good to keep your distance from a potential carrier. 28/11/21 20:00:14	3 20
Well done The Wolf - great caption --Mr Dome
	lol "And this is your loft access" Terry wasn't your stereotypical estate agent. 22/04/21 20:00:14	1 20

	"The finish line please driver. I just can't be arsed today." 19/04/21 12:06:37	1 20
Can't be horsed today. --Willie Johnson
	lol I met her on match.com 18/05/19 12:00:06	3 20
She lit up my life. --James Lennox
	easyJet will NOT tolerate rudeness to cabin crew. 17/09/23 20:02:07	19

	A peck on the cheek. 09/03/23 20:03:56	19

	lol "Terry's Mum is a silly billy. Pass it on." 13/02/23 12:01:31	19

	It's scary when you see the inside of a Ryanair cockpit. 17/12/22 20:00:14	19

	"Is it me or is it chilli in here?" 16/11/22 12:17:59	19

	lol Pros and cons of having a Llama officiate at your wedding. Pros. Doesn't go on about religion. Doesn't dress in silly outfit. You can start snogging straight away instead of waiting for instructions. Cons. The marriage is not legally binding. The Llama smells. 17/11/21 12:29:53	3 19
I must protest at this slur on my character and personal hygiene --John Llamas
	"I wish that broccoli would hurry up in the bog" 25/06/21 12:07:09	19

	lol x2 clever Staff at NASA are in shock after receiving the latest images from the Mars Rover. 24/06/21 8:07:19	19

	creative "Have you got any change for the fruit machine?" 04/02/21 20:06:02	3 19
Great caption: You dropped us into a story. Please continue: I want to know more about this poor fellow... --Greg Curtis
	creative Bucket and Spayed 28/06/19 20:13:37	19

	"Your turn to change the litter tray." 01/09/23 8:05:27	18

	"Mum, the social worker is here..." 06/06/23 12:01:52	18

	lol “OH JEEZUS…TURN IT OFF! I told you the kids weren’t old enough to load the washing machine.” 22/05/23 12:00:16	1 18

	“…and that was the very imaginative, albeit put together at the last minute, story of Sammy Squirrel and his trolley of plastic plant pots. The BBC would like to thank those of you who did decide to tune in and would again like to apologise for the schedule changes and lack of sports coverage today.” 11/03/23 20:00:16	18

	"Thank you so much for saving my life." "No problem. Just chew your food more in the future before swallowing" 30/01/22 13:14:36	18

	lol Bill Rockwell fined by authorities for graffitiing. 21/06/21 8:10:45	18

	"I was bloody relieved the other day. I thought she was pregnant but it turned out that I was just sat on her legs" 18/06/21 8:38:43	18

	"Gary, there's a time and a place to get an erection, and it's not when we're trying to hold up a collapsed ceiling." 14/05/21 8:00:16	18

	Looks like they're about to tie the knot. 10/05/21 12:01:06	18

	Meet Dave and Larry. The owners of the world's most efficient Coving and Skirting board cleaning company. 18/04/21 12:47:00	18

	Paul was beginning to regret buying the world's heaviest earring. 08/01/21 12:34:53	2 18
The helium in his left shoe wasn't helping either. --Willie Johnson
	Four Men and a Baby 18/11/20 12:00:08	18

	creative Let's hope they don't start making advent calendars... 04/04/20 20:03:05	18

	Dear Mr Rockwell. We have received your stool sample and we think it would be a good idea for you to pop into the surgery to have a quick chat. 01/04/20 20:01:20	18

	lol clever Pissed in the bath? Don't worry, we all have... 17/02/20 21:25:05	1 18
I haven't pissed in her bath, not wanting to be the odd one out, what's her address? --John Glover
	The frog version of Basic Instinct was a little weird. 17/02/20 12:03:52	1 18

	The Farmer Sutra 10/08/19 10:18:45	18

	lol "Children that was such a lovely day out at the Lion safari, It's such a shame daddy had to stay home and fix the leak in the garage roof" 25/01/19 8:01:36	18

	"LET'S MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN" 21/12/18 12:47:04	18

	"Oh you're back. How was your first day working at Subway?" 14/06/23 12:08:58	17

	This is the first time I've wanted to have 5 a day. 31/03/23 12:00:10	17

	"Thank God. Tea is finished, pots are done and the cubs are asleep. Now I can lie on the sofa with my feet up and relax...ALEXA...PLAY THE SOUND OF A YOUNG INJURED WILDEBEEST BEING RIPPED TO SHREDS...." 16/01/21 12:02:34	1 17
In the past I've had the good fortune to work with Attenborough's sound recordist Chris Watson, and have actually heard this exact recording that he made. He also puts microphones into the carcass of zebras to get recordings of vultures tearing ... --Michael Winner
	lol x2 "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Our Ryanair flight 1052 is having to make an emergency landing and we're burning up on our approach. If I'm being completely honest, that's the least of our problems..." 26/11/20 12:39:34	17

	Dave was furious after he managed to find 246 gold coins, and not one of them turned out to be chocolate. 03/11/20 12:12:22	17

	lol People are absolutely terrified of my dog. I don't know why. I mean just look at this cute picture of him, chasing an old basketball... 03/04/20 20:00:25	17

	lol Lots of time at home, unlimited porn and no toilet roll. What could possibly go wrong... 30/03/20 20:00:10	17

	"Good evening Prince Andrew. Your usual?" 22/12/19 12:02:15	17

	clever "Go on then, give us a Twirl" 03/11/19 20:00:07	17

	clever It's always good to have a carrier handy when you feel sick 03/10/19 12:00:09	17

	... word used to give an affirmative response. 19/08/19 13:23:20	17

	"I'm a Lesbian, do you have Fanyta?" 06/04/19 20:04:01	17

	clever auf wiedersehen pet 30/01/19 20:42:33	17

	Tom Tom 11/01/19 12:22:06	17

	Superking. 19/05/23 12:00:25	16

	Not the best venue for a Shotgun Wedding. 03/04/23 12:15:46	16

	Watts new pussycat. 10/01/22 20:09:01	16

	"Yes, I'll bring you a toilet roll, but next time can you text me instead of using Zoom?" 03/06/21 12:04:23	16

	lol "So what treatments have you decided to go for?" "Flea and worm. You?" 13/05/21 12:28:11	2 16

	"I don't know about you, but this is the only place I feel safe from Covid" "Yeah, me too"...cough 31/03/21 12:35:42	7 16
That's a "tasteless" joke. --Willie Johnson
	lol "Yep, that's definitely dog shit" 25/03/21 12:00:06	1 16
"No it's not, I told you to pull my finger and look what's happened. Now you'll have to deal with the fallout." --Willie Johnson
	"Dave, when I asked you to bring protection..." 12/03/21 12:00:19	16

	"Take my word for it, Donald. It's just not worth buying cheap toilet roll" 10/03/21 12:15:55	1 16
Not unless you can use half the roll for every wipe. --Willie Johnson
	"I hope you don't think I'm being rude, but who are you?" 02/03/21 12:04:17	16

	Weatheredspoons 24/01/21 12:03:13	1 16
out back... witheredpoons --Mauris Iocus
	I tried to get a semi up there once but my wife said no chance. 16/01/21 20:06:44	16

	lol All this way just to get a f-cking Covid test... 24/09/20 8:29:37	16

	creative Up next on 'Irresponsible Pet Owners', Sue enjoys a coffee in the Shard and gets her camera ready in preparation for Rex's first bungee jump... 01/09/20 12:00:50	16

	"Oh no, not another f*cking Rolling Stones tour" 26/04/20 12:12:52	1 16
The Strolling Bones.. --stone face
	lol x2 "All I said was 'perhaps a nod to 08.00.03?'" 14/02/20 12:04:17	1 16
It's because it should have been 08.00.04 --Willie Johnson
	clever Soldiers have been dispatched to wipe out an Alien invasion 24/11/19 12:05:28	16

	"Yes they were expensive but they are very rare" 16/09/19 20:02:57	16

	lol Oh no, not more Johnson supporters. 10/09/19 20:00:16	1 16
One is all I need. --Willie Johnson
	lol "Good evening Tom, how are you?" "Oh, don't get me started, I woke up this morning and they were already in a mood, something to do with the sofa being ripped to shreds. Then they ran out of Gourmet Mon Petit, so I had to have Lidl own brand food, then they went to work and turned the TV off, so I've been bored all day. They don't even check the litter tray until Saturday, so I have to do gymnastics to avoid my own poo, it must be nice to have a flushing toilet. Oh, and the dog has terrible wind at the moment. Same again please" 22/08/19 9:00:42	2 16
Can't stop laughing at this! --Karyn Harrison
	Tinder Surprise 03/07/19 20:00:06	16

	Charlie and the Novichocolate Factory 20/06/19 8:00:07	16

more captions

last comments (total: 669)

The toothbrush 'tash was all the rage in 1910s, '20s, '30s. For some reason after World War II it went completely out of fashion, I don't know why...

I also find it amusing when folk refer to it as a "Hitler" moustache - he didn't invent it.