| This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 39 | 89 | #3 | 51 | 131 | #3 | 4553 | 11877 | #14 |
| Comments | 2 | 20 | #1 | 2 | 1 | #13 | 178 | 338 | #18 |
| Forum Posts | 1 | 11 | |||||||
The Wolf
signed up: 2 years, 5 months ago
profile viewed: 14 time(s) this week
caption quota: 58
caption votes given since joining: 5,435
comment quota: 57
comment votes given since joining: 395
super vote quota: 23
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captions
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£50  18/06/19 20:00:13 |
21 |
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Wow! I can't believe I've won, such a nice surprise! Thank you very much for the votes and kind words. Also thanks to Chris for picking the caption but most importantly for giving us the site! It's a privilege to be on the board and a pleasure ... --The Wolf
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£50  11/03/20 8:00:13 |
23 |
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Thank you very much for your votes and kind words. There were some great captions this month so feel very fortunate to win the top prize. I've always found Caption.me a great and fun distraction from the otherwise stressful day to day of life. Th... --The Wolf
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14/01/21 12:10:07 |
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£50  10/11/20 8:00:16 |
21 |
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Many thanks to you all for your votes and kind words. Additional thanks to Chris for providing and maintaining the site and for choosing me for this month's winner. This was one of those captions which I nearly didn't post because I thought it w... --The Wolf
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Dear Santa. For Christmas this year I'd love some thermal underpants. 05/10/20 20:27:23 |
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04/05/21 20:14:26 |
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"JANET, JUST LEAVE IT, WE'LL BUY ANOTHER LILO" 23/11/20 20:01:37 |
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23/07/20 12:24:05 |
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28/03/20 20:10:40 |
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“I’m sorry for yawning but I find your company really boring” 12/06/19 12:25:47 |
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Filming has begun for the highly anticipated new period drama 05/06/19 8:10:30 |
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03/04/20 12:00:39 |
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Being a first responder to a car accident on the Simpsons was a sobering experience… 02/04/20 12:00:09 |
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Looks like he's covered in Marge. --Karyn Harrison
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01/12/19 20:00:06 |
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16/09/19 20:00:05 |
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08/08/19 20:44:45 |
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24/04/19 12:51:55 |
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"And this is your loft access" 22/04/21 20:00:14 |
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"The finish line please driver. I just can't be arsed today." 19/04/21 12:06:37 |
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Can't be horsed today. --Willie Johnson
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18/05/19 12:00:06 |
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She lit up my life. --James Lennox
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"Have you got any change for the fruit machine?" 04/02/21 20:06:02 |
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Great caption: You dropped us into a story. Please continue: I want to know more about this poor fellow... --Greg Curtis
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28/06/19 20:13:37 |
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18/04/21 12:47:00 |
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Paul was beginning to regret buying the world's heaviest earring. 08/01/21 12:34:53 |
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The helium in his left shoe wasn't helping either. --Willie Johnson
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18/11/20 12:00:08 |
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Let's hope they don't start making advent calendars... 04/04/20 20:03:05 |
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01/04/20 20:01:20 |
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Pissed in the bath? Don't worry, we all have... 17/02/20 21:25:05 |
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I haven't pissed in her bath, not wanting to be the odd one out, what's her address? --John Glover
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The frog version of Basic Instinct was a little weird. 17/02/20 12:03:52 |
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10/08/19 10:18:45 |
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25/01/19 8:01:36 |
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"LET'S MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN" 21/12/18 12:47:04 |
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16/01/21 12:02:34 |
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In the past I've had the good fortune to work with Attenborough's sound recordist Chris Watson, and have actually heard this exact recording that he made. He also puts microphones into the carcass of zebras to get recordings of vultures tearing ... --Michael Winner
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26/11/20 12:39:34 |
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03/11/20 12:12:22 |
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03/04/20 20:00:25 |
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Lots of time at home, unlimited porn and no toilet roll. What could possibly go wrong... 30/03/20 20:00:10 |
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"Good evening Prince Andrew. Your usual?" 22/12/19 12:02:15 |
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03/11/19 20:00:07 |
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It’s always good to have a carrier handy when you feel sick 03/10/19 12:00:09 |
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... word used to give an affirmative response. 19/08/19 13:23:20 |
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"I'm a Lesbian, do you have Fanyta?" 06/04/19 20:04:01 |
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30/01/19 20:42:33 |
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11/01/19 12:22:06 |
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"I don't know about you, but this is the only place I feel safe from Covid" 31/03/21 12:35:42 |
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That's a "tasteless" joke. --Willie Johnson
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"Yep, that's definitely dog shit" 25/03/21 12:00:06 |
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"No it's not, I told you to pull my finger and look what's happened. Now you'll have to deal with the fallout." --Willie Johnson
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"Dave, when I asked you to bring protection..." 12/03/21 12:00:19 |
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"Take my word for it, Donald. It's just not worth buying cheap toilet roll" 10/03/21 12:15:55 |
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Not unless you can use half the roll for every wipe. --Willie Johnson
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"I hope you don't think I'm being rude, but who are you?" 02/03/21 12:04:17 |
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24/01/21 12:03:13 |
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out back... witheredpoons --Mauris Iocus
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I tried to get a semi up there once but my wife said no chance. 16/01/21 20:06:44 |
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All this way just to get a f-cking Covid test... 24/09/20 8:29:37 |
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01/09/20 12:00:50 |
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"Oh no, not another f*cking Rolling Stones tour" 26/04/20 12:12:52 |
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The Strolling Bones.. --stone face
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"All I said was 'perhaps a nod to 08.00.03?'" 14/02/20 12:04:17 |
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It's because it should have been 08.00.04 --Willie Johnson
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Soldiers have been dispatched to wipe out an Alien invasion 24/11/19 12:05:28 |
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"Yes they were expensive but they are very rare" 16/09/19 20:02:57 |
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Oh no, not more Johnson supporters. 10/09/19 20:00:16 |
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One is all I need. --Willie Johnson
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22/08/19 9:00:42 |
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Can't stop laughing at this! --Karyn Harrison
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03/07/19 20:00:06 |
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Charlie and the Novichocolate Factory 20/06/19 8:00:07 |
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16/05/19 20:14:58 |
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"I can read the top five lines ok, then it starts to get fuzzy" 28/02/19 8:00:08 |
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Wed 20:15:31 |
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Jumping Jack Flash is a gas gas gas. --Karyn Harrison
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"Darling, it doesn't matter how hard you squeeze her. Henry the Hamster won't come out" 26/03/21 20:11:47 |
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05/03/21 12:12:56 |
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Don't worry, the 25 foot cat will take care of it. --Willie Johnson
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Some people are just not cut out for working at the Samaritans 16/02/21 8:15:50 |
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"It took me ages to get up the A4 this morning" 26/01/21 20:00:16 |
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I met her on Plenty of Fish & Chips 21/12/20 20:38:35 |
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07/12/20 9:01:08 |
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23/09/20 20:36:06 |
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19/08/20 20:17:03 |
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Up next on Channel 4. The miracle of childbirth... 22/07/20 20:03:45 |
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23/03/20 20:00:08 |
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♫ Ground Control to Major Tom ♫ 10/03/20 12:00:09 |
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Wake up Stoneface, It's caption time... 07/03/20 20:11:39 |
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Sorry I was out celebrating Liverpool's win... --stone face
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"That's the last time I argue with the Germans over the sunbeds..." 07/12/19 9:48:49 |
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Vladimir Putin’s porn collection was a bit weird 30/10/19 12:00:07 |
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"I'm not parking there again, it cost me an arm and a leg last time" 10/10/19 8:00:09 |
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11/09/19 8:00:15 |
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10/09/19 12:00:14 |
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"...and I said, what water pipe?" 29/08/19 8:52:09 |
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The drill sergeant’s voice wasn’t as intimidating after he’d eaten Haribo. 21/08/19 20:00:13 |
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Frustration is clearly evident after captioneers discover the identity of Anon. 28/07/19 21:57:17 |
2 |
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09/07/19 20:36:01 |
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03/07/19 9:23:20 |
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"For god sake Darren, it's only a spider" 01/06/19 20:01:48 |
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01/04/19 12:13:25 |
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“Does my bumper look big in these?” 15/01/19 12:00:11 |
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15/01/19 8:34:27 |
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"Andy, can you cut me a piece of wood about 2ft long" 12/01/19 12:13:04 |
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"Don't you know who my dad is" 24/12/18 12:00:33 |
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05/02/21 12:00:11 |
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How convenient, (although I was preparing for the choirboy auditions), I'm wearing the new bishopric approved vestments. --Mauris Iocus
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The local Dungeons and Dragons club finally pluck up the courage to Google the word 'tits'... 12/11/20 12:00:15 |
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And see a pic of themselves --Mr Dome
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05/11/20 8:30:36 |
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To be fair, why does a caption have to be about the Mona Lisa? She is not the only subject in the photo. Who really cares what aspect of the picture is taken as long as it is part of the photo and provides us with some humour? Lots of the best cap... --Mr Dome
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How your cat would react if for some reason a fat strange man forced his way down your chimney... 24/10/20 8:21:09 |
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Sorry for not voting Wolfie, I forgot I had 1 hour less to vote for this caption. You had me in stitches. --Stephen Bean
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13/10/20 8:00:24 |
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18/09/20 20:00:41 |
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16/09/20 8:16:16 |
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He obviously has a screw loose. 18/05/20 8:00:06 |
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There's nothing better than sneaking up on a slow flying Seagull and stealing its ice cream... 12/03/20 8:00:38 |
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This is a picture of my late Grandad. I remember his last words..."F*ck me, a bus..." 09/01/20 13:15:42 |
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12/10/19 20:27:51 |
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29/08/19 12:00:13 |
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I feel the need for Friskees. --Scrijjy Doo
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27/08/19 12:00:07 |
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And then my wife said “go on, take a photo of it” …and that’s how I lost my eye 14/08/19 20:00:15 |
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09/08/19 12:44:03 |
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"We really need to get a new lid for the blender" 30/05/19 12:06:44 |
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Just found this picture on Tumblr 08/02/19 12:00:06 |
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24/12/18 8:00:08 |
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21/12/18 12:00:08 |
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"Do you ladies mind if I join you? I'll just grab my helmet..." 24/04/21 8:31:21 |
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"We're going to need the military's help with this one. Send in the soldiers" 14/04/21 8:10:08 |
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They're the real eggsperts --Glyn Evans
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Hannibal Lecter's haemorrhoids were a bit disturbing. 02/04/21 8:19:19 |
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I'm sure there's a few familiar faeces in there too --Mr Dome
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08/03/21 12:18:00 |
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16/01/21 8:20:36 |
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15/01/21 8:48:31 |
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"I'm going nuts just thinking about it." --Willie Johnson
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13/11/20 12:06:08 |
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09/11/20 8:29:02 |
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Donald Trump and Mike Pence secure new (and more suitable) employment. 06/11/20 20:08:39 |
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There's even room for the fly (and his whole family). --Willie Johnson
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19/10/20 12:59:48 |
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When you buy an IKEA wardrobe and open the instructions... 23/09/20 20:06:25 |
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09/09/20 8:15:17 |
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Butlins is a lot stricter now than it was in the 90s. 02/09/20 20:32:09 |
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13/05/20 12:00:06 |
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I bet he didn't Nintendo get that name. --Willie Johnson
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Don't laugh, he's got a gun...Don't laugh, he's got a gun...Don't laugh, he's got a gun... 25/04/20 12:00:20 |
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It has been proven that you can cut a guards head off and no one will shoot you. --Neil Mackenzie
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“I told you not to fall asleep whilst babysitting…” 30/03/20 12:00:09 |
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Meanwhile, on the planet Octagon, the Brollyheads were tucking into Sunday dinner.... 28/03/20 20:05:24 |
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It's annoying when you've got a cold and run out of tissues... 28/02/20 12:12:22 |
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It's always wise to carry a baby wipe. --Karyn Harrison
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The Disney sequel to 'A Bug's Life' was a bit depressing... 23/02/20 20:06:41 |
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17/02/20 8:56:11 |
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"I told you it was a bad idea to sell pens in the Louvre gift shop..." 13/01/20 8:07:08 |
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More damaging photos released of Justin Trudeau... 12/12/19 8:31:36 |
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"It's a nightmare keeping on top of the bloody washing" 23/11/19 14:02:04 |
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19/10/19 20:17:23 |
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A clear-cut case of sexual assault. Caught red-handed! --Karyn Harrison
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26/09/19 12:00:24 |
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27/08/19 8:00:38 |
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The royal family kindly request that you do not feed the pigeons outside Buckingham Palace... 26/08/19 12:04:44 |
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20/07/19 21:03:01 |
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16/07/19 12:00:09 |
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12/07/19 12:09:01 |
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"Please don't Trump when I Putin" 22/06/19 12:00:49 |
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"HANG ON...You don't work here" 22/06/19 8:06:22 |
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04/05/19 20:21:06 |
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"Dave, have you seen Tracy? Hold on a minute...is she under the desk?" 02/05/19 9:38:52 |
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Carlos was well known for being calm and level headed during interviews. 18/04/19 20:00:06 |
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18/03/19 8:00:10 |
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"I told you we shouldn't have rented the room to a Hen party" 28/01/19 12:09:38 |
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You're right Steve (no pun intended), except most things inside quotation marks have immunity from grammar crimes. --James Lennox
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28/12/18 20:14:51 |
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01/04/21 20:23:29 |
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28/03/21 12:20:53 |
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Where would we be without Chris and, indeed, Mittens? --Al Overy
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13/03/21 12:10:55 |
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Get a room you two. 😃 --Troompa Loompa
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12/03/21 12:11:06 |
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09/03/21 12:00:23 |
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01/03/21 8:55:31 |
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"Welcome to Ryan Air. Smoking in the toilets will NOT be tolerated..." 17/02/21 12:01:25 |
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I misread this and saw 'stroking'. Any guidance on that? --Al Overy
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Your Passport photo has been rejected. 08/02/21 8:38:32 |
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We don't allow any image altered using PhotoClot --Mauris Iocus
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"Mum, please put your glasses on. That is NOT your Grandson" 20/01/21 12:00:12 |
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Or at least we hope not. --Willie Johnson
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"Sorry mate, road is closed, there's been a pile up" 16/01/21 20:00:16 |
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"I was really enjoying my date with Edward Scissorhands...until he got horny" 24/12/20 8:05:24 |
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03/12/20 8:28:31 |
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17/10/20 8:02:04 |
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Slag them off all you want, but North Korea's Covid quarantine procedures are bloody effective. 11/10/20 20:00:12 |
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“Hey, you up there, can you help me with this red symbol? It weighs a bloody tonne” 09/10/20 12:00:16 |
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24/09/20 12:17:02 |
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"This increases the cost of your order by £3.75" --Molly R
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24/09/20 12:00:06 |
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19/08/20 20:02:09 |
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The invisible man is finally arrested. 12/05/20 12:00:06 |
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"Move away please lads, there's been a gas leak" 22/04/20 20:01:40 |
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09/03/20 8:00:04 |
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09/02/20 13:01:32 |
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I had to put him down in the end. 01/02/20 14:55:11 |
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“Oh no, not another Scuba Diver. How the hell does he get them through the cat flap…” 07/01/20 20:00:21 |
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16/11/19 20:05:26 |
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"Do your zip up Dave, I can see your pecker" 11/10/19 12:00:17 |
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"Brexit? No, that was just funny. It was after I met Trump that I started drinking and smoking" 10/09/19 8:00:58 |
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02/09/19 8:21:20 |
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20/08/19 13:39:55 |
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"Was it good for you? Dave? DAVE?" 10/08/19 12:11:21 |
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I lie awake at night worrying about Dave. It's just been one bum deal after another! --Karyn Harrison
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11/07/19 8:00:07 |
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You have to have some balls to dress like that. 03/07/19 20:04:12 |
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“I’ll do anything to stop her from talking through Star Wars” 18/06/19 12:35:21 |
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28/05/19 12:32:10 |
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"Toupee, or not toupee, that is equestrian" 21/05/19 20:18:38 |
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“I knew I should have bought an Epson printer, those bloody Canon’s are always exploding” 25/04/19 12:00:13 |
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"You absolute BASTARD...It was only 1 flea" 05/04/19 11:26:42 |
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Employing pensioners on a food production line is all well and good until one of them tells a joke. 03/04/19 12:28:58 |
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"Ok, you two go after Skywalker and Solo, I'll help Vader on his allotment" 31/03/19 12:00:10 |
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27/03/19 9:21:04 |
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“You don’t want to cause trouble in there, have you seen the size of the bouncers?” 14/03/19 8:00:14 |
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05/03/19 8:00:06 |
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Great holiday! Next year, the Canary Islands 11/02/19 12:00:06 |
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21/01/19 8:06:30 |
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20/01/19 20:00:07 |
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14/01/19 8:00:09 |
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28/12/18 8:00:34 |
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17/12/18 20:00:12 |
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Ok. Your first lesson is fingering techniques around the g string 13/12/18 12:00:06 |
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26/04/21 8:25:28 |
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09/04/21 20:18:03 |
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more captions
Usually the clinic gets the eggs out of the hooker.
9:56pm
comment on caption:
After feeling concerned about the shy and self conscious eggs inside the chicken, Dave decided to raise money for a device that could maybe help. [The Wolf]
Jumping Jack Flash is a gas gas gas.
8:57pm
comment on caption:
"This week on 'Excessive Flatulence', Gary levitates a horse after consuming half a kilo of brussel sprouts." [The Wolf]
There's a cheaper way with a knife, just down the street from the "coffee shop."
10:00pm
comment on caption:
Having a vasectomy in Holland was a brutal experience. [The Wolf]
Thanks Michael. I'll try it.
9:27am
comment on caption:
The residents of Jersey were taking no chances. [The Wolf]
Dude! Come on, nobody eats out hookers. That's like sampling 150 flavors at an ice-cream parlor during a power outage. They've all melted & gone off!
(or so I've heard)
6:12pm
comment on caption:
Help out to eat her out. [The Wolf]
But, of course!
8:07am
comment on caption:
"My name's Mittens by the way" [The Wolf]
"That's funny, you fit like a.."
1:21pm
comment on caption:
"My name's Mittens by the way" [The Wolf]
The choices are buying or renting.
4:47pm
comment on caption:
"Mate, I'm not giving you any money. You'll probably spend it on crack." [The Wolf]
Jack: "Who do you think I am? Sir Walter Raleigh? - Yes, I'll offer this driftwood door on a water feature larger than a puddle for you, it's not exactly a red carpet but it's getting there"
Rose: "But it is your duty Jack! You have to protect me because I may possibly have babies in the future one day! You must do the honourable thing..."
Jack: "Yes, you play into my instinctual hetero-vagina saviour complex. I need to protect the future survival of the human race because humans are diminishing at such a fast rate. I mean if this was really real life, don't you think the door would be getting swamped by the some of the others in the water? I'm guessing that's probably why the lifeboats won't be coming over here for a while"
Rose: "Jack, really?! You're not going to leave me out in the cold? I saved your life, I didn't need to come back for you when you were sitting in the brig"
Jack "If we're going to play the tit-for-tat who saved who game, I saved you from a suicide bid! How do I know you won't try it again? Or did you just want get a better look at the water, you can see plenty of it now. You came back for me because you felt guilty as a result of your over privileged lifestyle. It wouldn't be the first time that a member of the lower orders has been sent down on trumped up charges so that a bunch of rich bastards can save face. "I'm so rich, everybody wants to take everything from me - get over yourself!" And where did you meet such a possessive psychotic fiancee? One thing I'd certainly say when he was flailing that gun about, is he was anything but dead calm"
Rose: "But what about our love Jack?"
Jack: "Rose, I'm the first guy you've met after being in an abusive relationship, it's not love, so please don't cling to me like a rock, or a floating door. One bunk up in a carriage isn't necessarily a guarantee we're meant to be together forever and ever. I mean if the boat had managed to get to New York, do you think we would have continued going steady?
Rose: No, I probably would have dropped you and met someone from Wall Street who had the same boyish good looks that you do.
Jack: I mean, I only managed to get on this boat by the skin of my teeth. And how many wealthy artists do you know? It's only if you're popular or they realise how good you are after you die.
Rose: Don't speak too soon.
7:53pm
comment on caption:
Titanic - alternative ending.
"Jack, why have you chained me to the rails?"
"Because if I go down, you go down bitch. What did you expect? One flash of your tits and I die in freezing water whilst you're safe floating on a big door? Dream on you posh cow..." [The Wolf]
Oooh... sorry, those weren't chips.
8:44pm
comment on caption:
And just when I thought being blind couldn't get any worse, I lost 7 fingers whilst eating a bag of chips. [The Wolf]