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Molly R

signed up: 10 months, 3 weeks ago
profile viewed: 6 time(s) this week
caption quota: 41
votes given since joining: 1,215
super vote quota: 127

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Location: Lewes

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captions

lol

creative

clever

As it turned out, there was some opposition to "Boris for PM".

24/05/19 21:01:08

Duck-filled fatty puss.

20/02/19 8:05:12

creative

"It's roundish, about *this* size, probably no longer smiling..."

09/12/18 8:05:47

clever

Here's to you, Mrs Robinson.

03/12/18 8:00:05

"No, I can't tell you why Death has such a bright halo."

02/06/19 22:02:16

creative

"I know I said I wanted a sturdier pair of nutcrackers, but..."

11/12/18 8:02:29

"For the last time - all three of us have got headaches."

01/12/18 8:01:46

Ohio officials seek vandal who dumped sign in countryside.

Fri 12:18:12

Two-timer

04/01/19 8:00:18

Joe was annoyed that all the cheese and pineapple had already been eaten.

19/12/18 20:31:39

"OK, I'll fend off the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast from Traal with your umbrella, while you Instagram it."

27/05/19 8:35:07

Love it.Belated Happy Towel Day, everyone!:^) --Crunchy Chords

But I asked for a six-foot bed!

22/12/18 12:00:29

Rotary Club, Ladies Section

18/11/18 20:00:10

lol

Wow, I've always found firemen so sexy - you're not busy, are you?

26/01/19 20:00:11

Oh, stop hogging the sofa!

01/09/18 8:00:25

"Of course she'll bounce. You just be ready to catch her when she comes back up."

12/06/19 22:07:20

"These are my Valentine's Day trousers - they say I love you from the heart of my bottom."

03/02/19 20:00:05

It's taking a while for my horse to adapt to life in Australia.

31/12/18 8:00:26

No, you can *not* drive the car. Period.

02/12/18 20:00:24

You can't go up in the world without education.

02/11/18 20:00:11

It's nearly lunchtime at the Daily Mail newsdesk.

07/10/18 12:00:06

He's a good mathematician, but a bad speller

27/09/18 12:19:02

OK, I admit it - the father was a coconut. Doctor, will I ever walk again?"

29/05/19 12:01:23

The water in both tubs has completely evaporated while waiting months for caption.me to use this photo.

13/03/19 20:13:56

"Stop, Frederick, the soldiers are coming!"
"Well, OK, just the Minute Waltz, then."

07/02/19 8:06:12

"They're here- quick, get inside the piano!""We can't, Joseph's already in there- he's Haydn." --Michael Winner

Someone's had a pooh in this suit.

01/01/19 8:02:16

The Golden Globe awards were low-budget this year.

22/12/18 20:00:06

Security precautions at the Texas School Book Depository when Trump does Dallas.

21/12/18 20:00:09

He won't go anywhere near a book. --Scrappy Doo

Tracey was not really very good at playing air guitar.

13/12/18 8:00:13

Told him not to smoke Marlboro Gold.

11/12/18 20:00:11

This guy should see a doctor or possibly a blacksmith. --Scrappy Doo

"Diet Pepsi, please".

03/11/18 8:00:06

I'm so glad I came!

16/09/18 20:00:17

All six Flat Earth Societies were partly right.

23/02/19 8:02:51

But you still cannot see Death approaching...

09/01/19 20:00:52

"After the divorce, my other half got the car engine and the plough."

29/12/18 8:03:47

"After that party last night, I feel as if all the stuffing has been knocked out of me."

12/12/18 20:00:07

I hate the way all this Christmas stuff starts to appear even before Bonfire Night.

07/10/18 8:00:09

I can't lego of my head!

Fri 20:00:08

OK, I ate the kid's arm. So?

19/05/19 12:01:57

"No use to me, I'm going to flog it."

31/12/18 8:00:06

The PETA-approved version of this caption is: "Already fed, I'm going to feed it." --Glad You Remember

"This is go-faster juice, innit?"

09/12/18 20:00:29

"Mister, are you a dinosaur?"
"Well, some people would say so."

23/11/18 12:26:55

The world Simon championships were held lately.

28/10/18 8:28:28

Ooh, I feel better for that.

02/09/18 8:01:28

You can't possibly want to eat my finger when you've already eaten my other leg!

Mon 12:00:29

"Clark, honey? Can you just fly down and rescue me from all these ugly people?"

09/06/19 8:39:50

Radiation from the television had already destroyed his neck, hands and feet, but now he blocked it with his iPad.

10/04/19 12:00:05

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz scowled.

04/04/19 12:00:07

"O freckled gruntbuggly..." --Crunchy Chords

"That's the last time I carry my toddler on my shoulders."

03/04/19 20:00:21

Michael Molpurgo's latest: War Kitten

18/03/19 8:04:53

At the Monday morning team meetings, it was easy to tell that Clive was the only teetotaller.

16/03/19 8:00:22

Earphones for the deaf.

08/03/19 20:03:57

"Yes, it's the only way we can get 4G around here."

02/03/19 20:02:47

"I wish I'd brought one of the wife's scatter cushions to hold on my lap."

01/03/19 12:02:53

When your profile said you had an 18-inch waist, I expected the rest of you to be in proportion

21/02/19 12:00:38

He was disappointed. He had hoped for a fried egg that looked like Jesus.

17/02/19 20:00:54

And it looks like Piers Morgan. That's just plain unclucky! --Karyn Harrison

"I can't believe nobody remembered the hang-gliders."

05/02/19 8:02:42

Reminder to self...

17/01/19 20:00:43

"I'm not sitting too close to her, just look at the warning notice."

08/01/19 12:00:04

How I feel after Christmas

30/12/18 12:00:36

I can identify with this. The healthy eating regime generally lasts until January 2nd. I can't resist a Nando's! --Karyn Harrison

I don't think much of this smokers' area.

14/12/18 8:05:53

The Swiss never quite got the hang of the yard of ale competition.

11/10/18 8:00:24

New shampoo ad: "head, shoulders, knees and toes knees and toes."

24/09/18 8:01:00

So funny, great imagination. --Funny Bean

My feet are killing me

03/09/18 8:00:46

I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. So long as you feed me, that is.

12/06/19 8:04:25

"Follow the road through the blue barriers. You have reached your destination."

06/06/19 8:03:02

Translation: "Step on the gas." --Willie Johnson

The magician was actually trying to disappear the can of Coke.

16/04/19 8:03:16

I don't think much of Tesco's cheese.

14/04/19 12:00:27

"I already phoned you once, Mummy - now GET ME SOME CHIPS!"

26/03/19 20:06:13

"Oi, you, Aquaman! Keep your hands to yourself!"

21/03/19 8:03:49

An ice job if you can get it.

07/03/19 12:10:10

After the Korean War ended, Corporal Klinger had to find a new job.

27/02/19 12:01:46

Lucien Freud's breakfast

17/02/19 13:04:30

So that's what happened to Francis Bacon! --Karyn Harrison

Don't tell him about the, like, typo.

16/02/19 8:02:26

If one more boy sits down, he'll break the record.

10/02/19 12:00:14

"See you? See that camera of yours? See this putty knife? You'll be feeling it in a minute if you don't get out of here."

01/02/19 12:01:35

"Don't you think you should do something about those varicose veins?"

31/01/19 8:01:31

You're supposed to be advertising Hofmeister, not Harp!

30/01/19 8:00:10

Ethel, do you think this chicken house is rather too hot?

28/01/19 12:00:24

I'm really into this programme.

22/01/19 20:00:07

Theresa May gives permission for a food bank to be opened on Ben Nevis.

25/12/18 8:03:51

Foot of the bed

22/12/18 12:00:07

It's a nurse shark - it looks after the baby when we're getting hammered at the beach bar.

15/12/18 12:01:07

On Saturday night, he lost his head and got legless.

09/12/18 8:08:43

Barbie looked out of this world, but Ken hadn't got a thing to wear.

28/11/18 20:00:06

They'll never spot that I'm a dog in this disguise.

28/11/18 12:00:09

Teddycotta Army.

27/11/18 20:00:08

"Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock?"

26/11/18 12:01:05

Head and shoulders above the rest.

25/11/18 8:00:05

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz sighed. He hated having to work with all these stupid aliens.

03/11/18 12:00:22

Fatman a-blobbin'

21/10/18 8:00:09

Here's looking at you, kid.

14/10/18 8:00:09

The Japanese remake of "A Clockwork Orange" didn't match up to the original.

29/09/18 12:02:33

I thought at least Delia would have turned up.

21/09/18 12:00:15

You might want to give it a minute or two

02/09/18 11:57:09

Jesus, he's legless again!

10/06/19 12:00:05

Mummy, why's the Big Bad Wolf pretending to be one of the meerkats?

10/06/19 8:17:02

"Back to the Future 17" was a low-budget production.

01/06/19 12:02:44

He's a rubbish guitarist.

18/04/19 8:00:22

Hit any key to continue.

17/04/19 20:00:07

Going for a spin in the country.

17/04/19 8:03:41

Banksy, live!

11/04/19 12:00:38

My last car was thirsty, but this one is just hungry.

11/04/19 8:01:55

A toothsome offering

03/04/19 12:00:26

I can't imagine why I've got such a painful headache.

28/03/19 12:29:30

"Give us back our flat-iron!"

26/03/19 12:00:07

I never expected the Rapture to include livestock.

25/03/19 20:10:16

Yeah, it's called The Rapshear.:^) --Crunchy Chords

My wife said she wanted a new hairbrush. Personally, I think she has something else in mind.

17/03/19 20:02:19

These bloody Daleks shed their skins everywhere

12/03/19 12:00:25

Better a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

11/03/19 12:00:06

I collected them from the local urinal.

05/03/19 20:00:07

I do wish he would stick to licking his own goolies.

28/02/19 12:00:08

An unexpected benefit of the hamster wheel was ending up with four legs.

26/02/19 20:00:08

It's the only way we could find to stop him licking his goolies.

22/02/19 20:00:32

"One day, Sharon, when I'm very old and very rich, I'll take you to... Canvey Island."

03/02/19 12:01:36

"Dear, dear, dear. Oh dear, dear, dear."

31/01/19 20:00:05

"I know it doesn't make any sense, but the colours are pretty."

26/01/19 8:03:47

Nah, I can't read it - I'm from Essex.

20/01/19 20:00:09

"Honey, what have you done with my gloves?"

18/01/19 20:00:20

The clock is about to strike six.

16/01/19 20:00:06

Boot-table device

12/01/19 12:00:45

Air craft head

06/01/19 8:08:08

I don't think they will see my donkey under this coat.

05/01/19 14:40:30

Shell suit

02/01/19 20:00:19

I only asked for my beard to be shaved off.

29/12/18 20:02:50

Tongues are wagging

27/12/18 12:02:55

All the town's drivers combine to destroy the toes of anyone who posts a "Gulliver" caption.

18/12/18 20:00:08

It's bit ropey, and no matter where you park it, somebody pinches the wheels

12/12/18 12:00:49

creative

♪ Rockhoppers around the Christmas tree..♪

04/12/18 20:00:07

"Okay, Pearl, it *would* be a starry night, if it wasn't for all this fog."

14/11/18 12:00:33

"Where do minibuses come from? Well, when a daddy bus and a mummy bus love each other very much..."

14/11/18 8:02:41

Van driver gives other traffic the bird.

12/11/18 20:00:14

I am plotting the details of your death.

08/11/18 12:34:23

I know it's traditional to have a chimney sweep at a wedding, but I wasn't expecting to be used as the brush.

06/11/18 12:01:21

I thought if I tied my sticks to my ski-suit, I wouldn't lose them...

04/11/18 8:02:23

And they told me accountancy was a nice safe job.

27/10/18 8:02:02

It's much quicker than taking Southern Rail.

25/10/18 8:02:29

In my previous life I was a page-boy at a wedding.

23/10/18 12:01:46

"We're on the wrong platform, Vera - this must be the Northern Line."

22/10/18 8:00:21

Told you it would start to rain as soon as you hung that lot out.

20/10/18 12:00:25

Sure, it's a cryptic crossword clue, but I can't work out the anagram half.

16/10/18 12:00:19

... Eroded our grim sty area?:^) --Crunchy Chords

"Didn't you realise how much it would upset him if you took the last banana?"

16/10/18 8:00:08

Low-down bum

03/10/18 12:00:11

I can't get Sky on mine - how did you set yours up?

28/09/18 8:04:00

This is great, I don't have to spend any money on cigarettes

14/09/18 12:00:21

If this race wasn't restricted to twins, we could have more contestants

28/08/18 12:01:45

These special therapeutic cigars demonstrate what a prick you are to smoke at all.

15/08/18 8:14:37

After Elon Musk's attempt to send a car into space, he is now beta-testing a low-flying bike.

14/08/18 12:03:58

The project was cocked up from the start. --Crunchy Chords

When you said "Let's go and get high", this is not exactly what I thought you meant.

01/08/18 17:21:01

Pokemon going, going...

Mon 8:00:09

I wish I hadn't visited that young lady in Amsterdam, let alone boasted about the length of my equipment

Sat 12:32:58

I tell you, there's no flies on me.

Fri 8:15:54

But there are flies on Mimi --Mr Dome

You mean I'm going to have one that size when I grow up? But what about the rest of me?

11/06/19 12:03:31

One quick shag, and now she thinks she's in love with me.

01/06/19 8:03:18

Dancing class for five-foot people only

16/05/19 12:00:10

I got board with my previous position.

22/04/19 12:00:07

Love this caption Molly. --Stephen Bean

Be careful you don't end up with a monkey on your back.

19/04/19 20:00:06

Even his hair was trying to escape from his forehead.

18/04/19 20:00:33

This is the most interesting case of measles I've ever examined.

17/04/19 12:00:46

"My patent behind-the-ear-laser device should get that b*st*rd right through the heart."

15/04/19 8:03:01

It was Help Yourself Day at the Glastonbury Festival.

12/04/19 12:03:01

I don't think a protozoon is a good replacement for Dippy the dinosaur.

06/04/19 12:00:12

Before Katie discovered Oxo.

27/03/19 12:00:09

Although we chat regularly, we're not very close.

27/03/19 8:05:08

And when the fairytale princess was born, a wicked witch swapped her boobs with her buttocks.

19/03/19 20:26:37

You can't expect smiles
From a cat with piles.

15/03/19 12:00:57

Her parents hated having to invite them over for dinner.

11/03/19 12:00:59

The Four Yorkshiremen have breakfast.

05/03/19 8:02:23

"I needed to put the clothes in my case, as padding for the cocaine ... er..."

04/03/19 20:00:11

While you're up there, Lemuel, can you fix the TV aerial?

04/03/19 12:01:56

"That's odd - it's absolutely identical to the other one, but I grow really big whenever I am near it."

04/03/19 12:00:08

"Tee-hee - I've farted, and Philip daren't breathe!"

16/02/19 12:00:06

"At least I've got my fidget wheel."

14/02/19 8:08:20

More fun than spanking the monkey

13/02/19 12:00:17

"Alice, why is that fish sniffing up your skirt?"

06/02/19 20:00:55

Sausage dog.

01/02/19 20:00:13

Here, just slip on these shoes.

27/01/19 8:03:10

I always said pavement cyclists should be hung - but this is going too far.

23/01/19 12:00:29

The headstand was no problem, it was when they started throwing the sacks at him that it got more difficult.

23/01/19 8:01:51

I do wish my mother wouldn't knit me these Christmas jumpers.

21/01/19 12:00:06

There is no news for black people in America today. At least, no good news.

19/01/19 20:00:08

Put that flaming camera down and open the window NOW!

11/01/19 20:00:25

Soggy moggy.

11/01/19 20:00:08

I dreamed I went to the disco in my Maidenform bra

10/01/19 12:02:16

I don't object to you changing it at all. Please go ahead. It's even funnier. Autocorrect is so annoying. --Karyn Harrison

I really *hate* Windows 10

03/01/19 8:00:17

"I'm just keeping up with the inexplicable trend for tongues."

27/12/18 20:01:13

"Move that hand a little more, sunshine, and you'll witness a second coming."

24/12/18 12:00:08

"He doesn't look much like the son of God to me."

24/12/18 8:00:10

It's when he sets fire to it that the neighbours object.

23/12/18 20:00:09

"What I like best is when she sits down."

23/12/18 12:00:09

Literature is the light of my life.

21/12/18 20:00:30

Oy! You! Don't pollute the planet!

20/12/18 20:00:07

Snail male

17/12/18 12:00:22

"Look round the corner, mate, make sure there's not a bird sitting on a ledge."

15/12/18 8:00:17

D'you think we'd better get her out? She's been in there for a very, very long time.

10/12/18 12:00:18

"If it messes up my insides, just think what it will do to his car."

09/12/18 20:00:07

No, I don't want a light - I can see in the dark.

06/12/18 12:07:53

I had this e-mail promising me "a rock-hard johnson" - and I think it has worked!

29/11/18 13:20:12

Torvill and Dean aren't as flexible as they used to be.

29/11/18 12:00:09

The Clintons, if Bill had actually inhaled.

26/11/18 20:00:08

He did, and that's them. --Scrappy Doo

more captions

last comments (total: 64)

Yeah, it's called The Rapshear.

:^)

Crunchy Chords

25/03/19
8:30pm

comment on caption:
I never expected the Rapture to include livestock. [Molly R]

You shoulda learned: Breakfast was on Tiffany.

Remember?

[anon]

03/04/19
11:48pm

comment on caption:
"That's the last time I carry my toddler on my shoulders."
[Molly R]

Yes, the reference to that photo was the point of my caption.

(caption author)

04/04/19
5:25am

comment on caption:
"That's the last time I carry my toddler on my shoulders."
[Molly R]

"O freckled gruntbuggly..."

Crunchy Chords

04/04/19
3:10pm

comment on caption:
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz scowled. [Molly R]

Vogon bureaucracy: They won't do anything unless it's been signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. Brexit joke anyone?