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Greg Curtis

signed up: 7 years, 5 months ago
profile viewed: 68 time(s) this week
caption quota: 34
votes given since joining: 3,098
super vote quota: 0

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captions

lol

"Did I mention my boyfriend's a truck driver?"

02/08/15 8:43:57

£100
WINNER

creative

clever

20/08/16 11:15:41

Thanks for all the great feedback, gang! And thank you, Chris, for creating, and running this great site...which keeps us off the streets and out of trouble. The internet can be a dark place, but caption.me is a point of shimmering light - a place... --Greg Curtis

creative

"To put herself through ballet school, she worked as a turnstile."

30/06/15 19:17:50

I tried to come up with a good turnstile one - nice work Greg - nailed it! --Dan Nicholls

Honey, what's the hold up in the bathroom ?

11/09/12 11:26:05

Pineapple Concentrate

02/07/18 12:47:56

clever

Storm Trooper

29/01/17 8:23:34

lol

"Yeah, yeah, I hope I feel better, too."

26/07/16 11:03:59

clever

"Jailed for 'drunk driving,' Jack was eager to complete his sentence."

15/09/18 12:18:46

clever x2

"I say unto you, sinners, 'Repaint!' "

12/05/15 7:51:28

Twin Buoys

10/06/18 19:42:04

lol

"First the GOOD news...
The rat's gone."

01/02/16 20:30:53

clever x3

"She looks good, considering it's 180 degrees in there."

14/05/15 10:02:40

This door is booby trapped!

05/12/12 12:47:13

"He was found dead, but undamaged."

19/12/19 22:37:32

Surreal Estate

04/03/19 12:02:51

clever

Twisted Humor

13/10/18 11:58:48

Why am I not buying? No Monet.

19/11/14 20:09:13

Protect YOUR home...with "The Monitor Lizard!"

20/10/14 11:23:03

lol

"First the GOOD news, Timmy: Your dog is - finally - not stuck in that sewer......"

10/10/19 10:58:15

"Is it me, or is he flushing?"

17/09/18 9:58:55

"..and the shit on the sidewalk, that was me, too."

08/08/18 11:41:12

"The neighbors say it has to go."

02/12/15 8:11:04

Looks like it's going. --John Glover

lol

creative

If Mikey kills THIS one then WE ARE DONE with pets.

20/02/13 12:00:46

Hey, why the log face?

11/06/13 11:56:32

It's drawing attention.

04/04/13 8:00:06

"It's a snatchback."

15/01/19 12:10:49

"First the good news: The baby stopped crying..."

25/07/18 19:32:45

"Okay, SLOWLY...step out of the closet."

30/04/18 11:50:13

Sea-through

07/08/17 11:51:13

The nearly-extinct...self-harmadillo.

05/01/17 12:47:14

Smug Shot

29/08/16 12:01:12

...for cold calling.

28/01/16 13:27:29

Homes to buy, or torrent.

28/01/16 9:29:38

"IT'S NOT EASY being a single transparent."

15/08/19 11:01:10

"Is there anyone ELSE who objects?"

20/06/19 12:00:15

lol

"OKay, you can have her; just, don't scratch the car."

28/04/19 21:05:04

The Grim Wrapper

01/03/17 14:04:05

CAT scan

19/01/15 8:45:38

Mom, I want to come home. Nobody will dance with me.

25/02/13 8:15:16

CAREFUL...He can scratch.

13/01/13 12:00:37

lol

Dutch Elf Disease

07/01/13 8:33:07

lol

Ugh!...You ALWAYS leave your boxers in here!

31/12/12 22:56:22

It's a GREAT instrument...for decomposing.

18/12/12 12:00:25

The tooth fairy loses his patience.

11/09/12 11:32:36

"We quickly grew out of our first house."

04/03/19 12:02:14

"Deface that launched a thousand drips."

15/11/16 21:08:20

clever

Kindergarden

02/06/16 19:41:38

clever

"DARN, let's drop her again. This time from the top floor."

19/01/16 13:24:42

"And THIS is called dry docking."

13/09/15 11:33:54

"And in THIS corner, the hovering hit-man...Levi Tate!"

10/08/15 12:36:07

clever

"Now you can feel DADDY kick."

15/01/15 10:59:25

lol

clever

"Please, Dr., tell me it's not genital warts."

30/12/14 12:03:49

I think that 'genital' warts would make this even funnier? --Cath Jones

Reminds me of my 1986 Vulva.

27/11/14 12:41:05

And they wonder why I pee on the rug.

02/05/13 11:02:06

Thank you, anonymous, for your diplomatic advice - particularly regarding the voting feature....You are RIGHT. --Greg Curtis

"Hello big boy. Do you want a police escort?"

16/12/12 12:31:10

...and this is where Becky chipped her tooth.

03/12/12 9:15:58

"I finally feel comfortable at the beach again...THANK YOU Muslimfast!"

28/06/13 8:39:40

Pulse...great; Skin...fine. Knee reflex, outstanding.

16/06/13 11:25:13

Bicicle.

01/05/13 11:01:03

They're acting like there's snow tomorrow.

11/02/13 12:08:19

Vulcanic rock.

10/02/13 13:00:00

What does the paper say? It says that one out of every four people can't read!

03/02/13 13:36:05

The balance of power.

24/12/12 8:48:38

Right wing lunatics.

16/12/12 20:10:38

"Jake sat nervously before his phone-ectomy."

14/10/19 11:10:28

"No, really...you look......great."

06/11/18 12:52:12

lol

Cumfectionery

10/06/18 9:50:58

"...at thy cervix."

12/08/17 22:15:44

"After a 10-mile chase, he was finally captioned."

10/10/16 7:23:34

Water-proofreading

16/09/16 10:52:59

clever

"If mom knew about this, we'd be grounded."

02/09/16 7:53:49

"Folks, please remain in your seats. We hope you enjoyed your last flight, and We are currently at MINUS-500 feet and descending..."

28/06/16 11:48:12

New study shows: Playing releases endolphins.

12/01/16 13:29:54

"Over the years, it's become gallopidated."

12/03/15 12:24:51

"Okay, GOT THE PICTURE! It's a wrap."

20/11/19 12:45:09

“We still don’t know...but we’ve ruled-out obesity.”

27/06/19 9:55:13

"Don't feel bad for ME; I got two guys working beneath me."

14/08/18 7:47:51

"...and I told him - in no uncertain terms: I DON'T DO WINDOWS."

31/07/18 14:33:22

"Tres Chick!"

08/06/18 14:14:36

The National Shark-Victim Memorial

07/08/17 11:39:24

Clearly not "skinny dipping."

22/06/17 20:24:44

clever

"Enlist TODAY, and we'll make YOU a Neuman."

02/04/17 21:27:55

My Current Boyfriend

08/01/17 12:34:56

"Take 2 up the arse, and call me in the morning."

02/01/16 20:03:39

"If business is off, it may be time for a more attractive mannequin."

22/09/15 11:29:02

"Question seven: Is your cat looking over your shoulder right now?"

02/09/15 12:34:21

Fellow captioneers, I might need to take a break from Caption.me, or maybe I need "something else"...

When I saw this picture, I could only think about double entendres focused on a certain female part.

This isn't normal. I need help.

06/08/15 11:03:22

Stop being a pussy and get captioning :) --AXE

Blood Hound

23/02/15 12:23:12

"On the bright side, I'm grateful dad didn't play cricket."

15/01/15 11:11:50

creative

"He's ALWAYS the afterlife of the party."

08/01/15 10:03:29

Car Pet

27/11/14 12:00:13

Chomping at the bit.

15/10/14 11:31:37

They're okay...but they need to spend more time on the beat.

20/06/13 11:31:58

Harley Davidsonsanddaughters

01/05/13 10:57:07

It's time to consider reading glasses.

26/11/12 12:10:16

Mick had a real problem ... He deleted his server.

18/09/12 10:20:23

"Y'know what I love about you?...nothing, absolutely nothing..."

12/12/19 13:37:56

"I'll never forget my first auto-body experience..."

02/12/19 11:53:54

"I like making my own inventions; and I like accounting: A LOT; and I like LONG walks on the beach, alone."

23/04/19 11:19:30

"She wanted to do it before she died. Didn't know it would be JUST before..."

10/12/18 12:19:52

An Ice View

17/11/18 16:46:11

"A shoe!"

"Gesundheit."

09/11/18 12:01:44

"As I looked across my bed, I knew I had a drinking problem."

01/08/18 12:14:55

"...A victim of car jacking."

25/06/18 13:06:40

"That sign REALLY has to go."

06/06/18 10:32:38

Windough

11/03/18 2:00:19

Anonymouse

05/02/18 22:20:34

"They're obviously on psychedelic rugs."

03/01/18 17:29:32

"Mr. Armstrong was greeted by the mare of the city."

23/01/17 4:45:32

At home with my flatmate.

24/11/16 8:03:27

"When she heard the click behind her, she prayed to God it was a gun...and not another camera."

06/10/16 11:06:12

Tree Trunks

02/07/16 10:51:56

"No, it's definitely not clogged..."

18/05/16 12:41:15

"And they wonder why I piss on the linoleum."

12/12/15 20:04:58

Gutter Nonsense

02/12/15 8:02:08

"Far from meaningless, an ocean wave serves many porpoises."

03/11/15 12:20:27

"If you're good today, Hanni, you can have a friend for dinner."

01/11/15 8:19:53

'Twas ignite before Christmas

05/07/15 10:43:19

Stock Pile

22/03/15 13:08:13

creative

"Lobsters have a simple nervous system, but a sophisticated sense of humor."

11/03/15 0:57:14

"Okay, I'm BACK, and now...I'm the last man on earth. PLEASE."

01/03/15 12:35:30

creative

From no confidence whatsoever…to completely elf-azured.

30/11/14 8:00:10

Since the seminar, Jack’s been a little boulder.

28/11/14 1:26:20

That's Mike on the right...and Ray on the left.

18/01/13 12:00:17

Get an ambulance! She's in Anniephylactic shock.

25/12/12 20:28:41

It's snow picinic out there!

16/12/12 8:46:56

The rear garden.

03/12/12 8:09:07

Evolving door.

16/09/12 11:58:59

"Hey, that's your choice... and how would you like to be addressed?"

15/01/20 13:24:23

lol

"It's not 'a movie deal,' but I got us this gig with Caption.me ."

16/12/19 11:16:18

Sextile

14/05/19 11:16:53

"...love to clean that for you, if it's hand-washable."

17/04/19 11:35:53

"Now, everybody: Upward Cat."

28/12/18 11:22:56

"Tastefully done."

27/12/18 12:57:03

👍 --Scrappy Doo

Purrkour

08/11/18 8:50:42

"Look at this pearl necklace!"

16/09/18 19:18:37

A Tale of Whoa

19/08/18 11:09:25

A Forlawn Chair

22/06/18 11:27:45

"I'm tired of people taking me for granite."

31/01/18 16:31:45

clever

A Moving Truck

19/09/17 13:00:50

"Personally, I find this kind of art irrigating."

05/08/17 10:56:55

Cone-stable

17/07/17 11:31:56

"Ready for my...big load?'

12/05/17 11:55:49

Ughh! lol --Crunchy Chords

" ♫ Sundae...bloody sundae!..."

20/01/17 22:58:25

Sung by Cone-o --Troompa Loompa

creative

"We spent half the day standing in lines."

12/01/17 9:02:06

"It's being re-possessed."

08/11/16 18:00:59

Asstronomy

14/10/16 16:06:12

"At that moment, I had an autobody experience."

08/08/16 13:37:49

"We were hoping for a better turnout," said their leader: "The streets are half-empty."

02/08/16 10:35:16

Stock Car

06/06/16 11:25:39

"♫ I just called, to say, I glove you."

28/01/16 12:06:51

"Damn, I hate when someone wears the same outfit."

19/12/15 11:08:28

A boxing match. --John Glover

"Can I be honest with you?...I wasn't drowning."

13/09/15 11:37:18

"In other news, the driver in this accident was not cited."

02/09/15 22:47:01

Suspended Animation

12/07/15 22:34:28

"Today, Fido would face his biggest sphere."

22/06/15 10:25:40

Super eyeway.

16/06/15 11:12:08

"I couldn't help but dress him with my eyes."

19/02/15 11:30:29

"Of all the toy boxes in all the world...you get thrown into mine."

08/12/14 13:19:29

creative

Since I've had it...no accidents.

02/06/13 13:09:52

Drinking: May cause dizziness, eternal damnation, and unusual stools.

12/02/13 12:58:38

He's having an auto body experience.

24/01/13 12:43:54

Bachelor Flat

19/11/12 20:00:27

Cobble stoned.

05/11/12 12:18:12

cunning limb bus

01/10/12 23:08:57

Well ... look what the Catwoman dragged in.

18/09/12 22:52:59

Hey, no begging aloud.

25/08/13 3:17:03

They fell in love at the aquarium, after meeting on the net.

24/08/13 12:04:38

Relation Ship.

29/07/13 11:38:45

Fans queuing up for REM.

25/07/13 10:01:57

"...to boldy go where no manure has gone before."

21/07/13 22:18:35

He's an Irish Boxer...Shamrocky.

02/05/13 11:01:55

Southpaw? --Michael Winner

I bet he uses that left hand to masticate.

19/11/12 14:52:58

He's so fast he's already home!

11/11/12 12:23:27

Pussyfooting.

10/10/12 12:19:38

"The Beatles are okay," thought the rhino, "but I LOVE The Stones."

18/11/19 12:13:22

“Sorry to be shallow, but I like guys with feet.”

05/07/19 23:11:30

clever

“Raise your hand if you believe in free will...”

29/05/19 11:06:07

Surrail

16/05/19 21:10:27

"THIS, is a nice day for a walk."

04/04/19 8:33:12

clever

"That's where I was raised."

23/03/19 2:36:02

Surwheelism

14/02/19 11:23:33

Securikitty

28/11/18 12:23:51

"We'll treat your dog like a human, while you sit and stay."

05/10/18 13:12:42

"No, I can't, but I can tell you what he SMELLED like."

08/08/18 11:38:50

Sunday Driver

12/07/18 16:01:14

Sell Phones

19/06/18 13:01:35

If anything can turn blue, it will turn blue: Smurfy's Law.

18/02/18 20:53:19

"ConJOIN me for a dance?"

07/02/18 13:57:52

"Today, I had this strange 'autobody experience.'"

27/01/18 15:52:59

"He can't remember names, but he never forgets deface."

25/09/17 11:01:37

A Sketchy Neighborhood

04/09/17 20:32:54

Tootin' Car Men

22/08/17 10:33:59

Tooting car men? --Michael Winner

"Her behavior has braised a few eyebrows."

30/04/17 11:30:42

Spaghetti Harbornara

13/04/17 8:17:40

"I heard they found gold on Uranus."

11/04/17 11:54:18

"WATCH IT, officer: There's an artist recording THIS WHOLE THING."

30/12/16 9:53:59

"It's HARD to sign in cursive."

30/11/16 21:09:41

"Watch your bloody mouth."

28/10/16 13:18:51

"Nice camouflage."

..."WHO-SAID-THAT?"

14/09/16 20:28:20

Bit worrying, soldiers hearing voices. --John Glover

more captions

last comments (total: 197)

Hi stone face. Just want to reassure you that I don't see you as 'the villain' because I also believe there was no clash of captions. I just thought it was sad that a captioneer had been 'switched off' from the site and felt the need to de-activate his account. I'm here for the fun too and your captions crack me up!

Dot Old

14/04/19
9:22pm

comment on caption:
Orangutangy [Greg Curtis]

Stoneface don't worry, you're definitely not a villain. I only caught this late but seems like a massive drama over nothing to me.

The Wolf

14/04/19
9:44pm

comment on caption:
Orangutangy [Greg Curtis]

Absolutely yes it was a massive drama one which I tried to play down immediately & very politely without success.

Anyway good luck all with your captions.

BAD BOY DENNIS *

14/04/19
9:59pm

comment on caption:
Orangutangy [Greg Curtis]

That's what he does if you say the word "Allies".

If you say "Dictators" he turns round and offers you his arse.

[anon]

30/06/19
7:05pm

comment on caption:
"A 'master of imitation,' this ape has even captured the nuances of Trump's foreign policy." [Greg Curtis]

You just described his whole foreign policy in two sentences! Brilliant!!!

(caption author)

01/07/19
6:30pm

comment on caption:
"A 'master of imitation,' this ape has even captured the nuances of Trump's foreign policy." [Greg Curtis]

Love the construction of this classic pun. I decided not to do ‘Just put it on the bill.’ You’ve managed to bring new life to it! A well deserved vote.