Chris Halliwell

This photo was developed from a negative.

21/07/15 12:02:23

13/05/15 8:03:13

20/07/18 12:48:56

I'm guessing that's not a Virgin.

03/03/16 12:03:28

You're on the right track --Bad Boy Dennis.

Trouble Brewing.

18/11/18 9:01:52

No this is a Frogbench, a Toadstool is completely different.

03/09/18 20:23:19

♫When the moon hits your eye
Like a big-a pizza pie
That's A Moray.♫

24/08/13 12:02:39

Weapons of mass distraction.

13/02/13 20:16:26

Ears of a clown.

02/12/12 20:05:00

The Descent of Man.

03/10/18 13:12:44

Thank you. ☺ --Chris Halliwell

The Suspension is killing me.

16/07/18 20:32:22

Has anyone seen Big Mac? He's about this high and has absolutely no taste.

16/09/15 22:18:57

Go ahead punk, make my Christmas day.

14/10/18 20:19:17

I told you we should have weighted our handbags down.

The Royal Ascent.

05/08/17 20:10:08

08/09/16 8:10:18

lol x2

The NHS appear to have brought forward dramatically the age for the Prostate cancer check up.

20/02/16 20:25:13

House Mate.

26/01/16 8:08:59

Match Point?

08/09/15 12:20:24

Walls I scream.

16/03/15 20:01:49

The Beagle has Glanded.

29/10/14 12:22:47

It was neck and neck in the giant slalom.

creative x2

After successfully choreographing the Y.M.C.A dance, the dancers found that D.I.V.O.R.C.E by Tammy Wynette was harder to master.

15/05/14 20:28:22

20.24.32 should have had a nod I think. --Cath Jones

11/02/13 20:14:58

I think he's looking for the paws button.

12/05/14 12:01:21

Drag racer.

13/11/13 16:18:46

Things weren't going well at the saluting for beginners class.

04/10/13 12:03:18

Reminded me of Benny Hill's Fred Scuttle ;) --Gordon Bannerman

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

01/06/13 12:17:41

I stand corrected the edit has been done. Cheers. :-) --Chris Halliwell

Kirk to Spock: Which deck are you on?

03/11/16 8:55:45

Wow Air Guitar goes a lot further back in history than I thought.

21/08/16 13:28:23

clever x2

I don't think the supermarket meant this when they put 'If found please return to the nearest Branch' on the trolley.

22/03/15 20:05:32

♪ You picked a fine time to leave me loose heel...♪

09/11/18 14:39:16

Confusion continues to reign at the Conservative Party Headquarters.

01/02/18 12:10:54

She looks a bit Krafty.

30/10/17 20:27:32

That's handy, I was trying to think of a password with 5 or more characters in it.

M,C,A.

04/09/17 8:07:19

Peeping Tom's.

11/04/16 20:00:46

30/07/15 8:20:54

Number 2 on the to do list.

09/11/14 14:16:16

Hey mate have you seen that bottle I had a piss in earlier......

20/05/13 20:29:05

Richard the Lionhead.

08/02/13 12:00:41

..and you say Mr. Trump grabbed you where?

05/10/18 9:47:25

Attached to the Cavity wall I presume.

30/07/18 15:15:05

Pout of Africa.

14/03/18 20:04:11

♪Smoke gets in your.... oh♪

27/01/17 20:32:43

Makes a change from Jay walking.

Bug to the Fuchsia.

18/11/16 20:05:32

22/09/14 8:09:29

Crouching Firefighter, Hidden Dragon?

01/07/14 13:13:30

Quick let's get this over with before that bloody David Attenborough turns up with his film crew.

01/05/14 12:51:03

PlayGround Hog Day.

29/04/14 18:32:15

Fruit Gums.

07/04/14 8:00:51

Are Yuleonsome tonight....

27/12/13 14:34:20

No one had anticipated that there would be so much clamour for the bouquet at same sex weddings.

22/08/14 10:54:03

There he goes, just about to crucify one of Jamie Oliver's recipe's again.

10/04/14 20:04:40

The Four Busketeers.

09/03/14 20:03:44

You can't beat seeing a pearl necklace all over a bust.

31/01/14 12:01:24

Trash, Bang, Wallop.

10/12/13 8:16:09

ClipArt.

09/12/13 20:07:56

Moses has another go at parting the waves.

27/11/13 20:39:51

Don't you just love Digital Photography.

Planet of the Crates.

06/09/13 20:00:22

Hornythology?

13/06/13 10:48:36

Brawlroom dancing?

15/05/13 8:12:12

19/03/19 12:05:08

A flight of fantasy.

21/10/18 21:42:44

I thought it was only on speciality websites where you could see a Nun gripping a big chopper with both hands.

02/06/16 8:21:35

Yet another test of the Rectal Expander.

06/01/16 8:27:43

You are the master of anal-stimulation humor...Give yourself a THUMBS UP. --Greg Curtis

Banana split.

19/10/15 8:10:37

If only I could get these false teeth to stay in, I could have a slice of cake with my coffee.

16/12/14 14:18:58

His Parka is worse than his bite.

24/11/14 13:34:32

Where Beagles Stare.

31/10/14 20:02:59

Looks like they've both been waxing.

17/12/17 9:37:41

I'll be buggered if we're going to lose this match.

02/09/17 8:58:20

The damage looks bad but when you get close you realise it's just Cosmetic.

16/01/17 20:28:59

The chap at the Theme Park who put this sign up was sacked for using lewd and inappropriate language. He's suing them for Funfair Dismissal.

02/12/16 12:12:01

Smears of a Clown.

11/11/16 13:38:00

Looks like she's tried to Faucet.

16/05/16 12:23:02

14/03/16 20:13:20

25/02/16 12:02:16

29/01/16 20:44:03

20/12/15 17:19:39

19/11/15 20:20:20

09/09/15 12:06:01

She was inclined to daydream.

11/07/15 8:45:31

Looks like they're Piscine themselves to me.

06/06/15 8:27:12

Unidentified frying objects.

27/12/14 20:05:31

The Rativity.

17/12/14 12:17:20

Well you did say that you wanted me to pull a funny face.

07/12/14 21:07:30

The wind'll change... --Michael Monkhouse

The new vibration setting on the latest ipad seems to be hitting the mark.

10/10/14 12:19:59

Apple launches its new ibone.

12/11/13 12:43:43

Joan 90.

03/09/13 14:43:19

That's a Great White T-shirt you've got on.

04/08/13 9:33:19

Don't Messiah with me!

16/06/13 8:52:49

Monty Pylon's Frying Circus.

23/05/13 13:13:45

Looking on the bright side at least it wasn't his sack trapped in the window.

14/03/13 12:04:48

I'm stinging in the vein, just stinging in the vein...

26/08/12 9:53:49

The Office of Time and Motion Studies.

25/08/12 20:26:39

Does this happen to you often?

Always!

02/12/18 20:11:45

Is it warm enough yet darling?

No it's still too Cauld Ron.

03/06/18 12:15:04

Twin Freaks.

05/08/17 15:57:46

It must be a Jackson Pollock.

03/01/17 20:24:51

Ooh that reminds me we need one of those wires they use for cutting cheese.

19/09/16 20:13:04

17/08/16 22:15:53

29/03/16 14:41:32

04/02/16 20:30:27

29/11/15 20:01:08

Another Grimm Furry Tale.

21/10/15 20:10:19

8 bloody aerials attached to my head and I still can't get this stupid thing to tune in properly.

07/10/15 8:03:38

The Green Green Brass of home.

28/05/15 20:13:40

Looks like the version by Humperdink. --Greg Curtis

When you said you had a costume that would make me look hot......

08/05/15 10:06:49

It's hard to ketchup with that kind of humour. :-) --Chris Halliwell

So that's what a Catalytic converter looks like.

27/03/15 12:30:32

Come on shift your Ass.

27/12/14 10:11:45

I don't think he's quite got what a drug mule actually does.

20/11/14 10:11:39

Cinderfella.

31/07/14 20:22:48

Looks like he's about to commit pesticide.

15/07/14 20:24:51

They may be scared of that reptile but it looks like neither of them is scared of the 'one eyed trouser snake'.

14/07/14 12:43:36

Men's fashion takes on a new slant.

29/04/14 8:24:37

Number 2 on the best selling list.

19/02/14 13:18:17

How do you kill a Street Performer?

Go straight for the Juggler.

23/12/13 10:29:36

Looks like Willy Wonka has used the dyslexic sign writer again.

26/11/13 12:09:02

There's not much room in here mate is there?

You're not kidding, I Canardly move.

13/11/13 20:10:29

I don't know why he needs money for that, a quick dip in the North Sea will soon sort it out.

12/11/13 20:37:33

Not many people know that Karen Carpenter sang at her own funeral.

30/10/13 14:23:38

That's the sign for the hens that lay square eggs.

07/08/13 20:04:53

Trouble brewing?

13/05/13 12:08:19

I scream tub.

06/04/13 20:10:09

If they get divorced will it be a banana split?

04/04/13 17:02:18

The Three Masketeers.

16/02/13 13:56:10

🎵 Like a Cat out of Hell.....🎵

21/10/18 12:23:37

Please dump here.

11/06/18 12:00:51

Horse of the Rear Show.

12/01/18 8:01:29

Peekanese.

30/11/17 20:29:07

Oh yes she does.

27/11/17 8:12:34

Kipper appears to be on the menu.

11/06/17 8:59:18

Do you mind if I pick your brains?

30/05/17 20:27:36

I wonder if it's got a Log Book?

21/05/17 20:05:44

Pick and Mixomatosis.

07/12/16 12:01:49

♫ Sandy Claws is coming to town.♫

25/11/16 12:19:51

Sea Wee'd.

10/09/16 8:57:06

Hattention seeker.

22/08/16 20:12:53

Footpath.

07/02/16 9:29:41

Your under arrest for Toyriding I'm afraid young man.

04/12/15 20:01:57

Digital Art.

29/11/15 20:04:36

Birds on a Wire.

09/11/15 20:51:25

Catcher in the sky.

07/11/15 9:32:48

For Sale: Golden Retriever going cheep.

06/09/15 12:18:10

Passing water.

29/08/15 20:02:30

Today on When Chimps have Panic Attacks....

17/07/15 12:05:32

All Firearms Present and correct.

01/07/15 12:01:26

The Rockery Horror Show.

30/06/15 12:25:43

Head of the Church.

29/05/15 12:08:25

Pool cue.

26/03/15 10:05:41

Bridal Wave.

20/03/15 12:09:12

Well it's a sign of the times.

06/03/15 10:56:54

Stupor Hero.

17/02/15 10:50:32

I presume he's reading a ledger.

01/01/15 2:16:17

Rock around the Dock.

27/11/14 20:09:22

Oh shi'ite I've lost my sunglasses again.

12/08/14 8:14:12

The Lilliputians soon regretted offering Gulliver a cup of tea.

11/08/14 22:37:24

Margaritas should start with a capital letter and the sentence should start with I had, not just had. Sorry if that seems a tad picky but we all get a bit Anal every now and then as the seller well knows.

23/06/14 20:21:47

You'll need a good head for sheights up there.

29/04/14 20:16:51

♫I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scarymouth, scarymouth, will you do the fonttango?♫

08/03/14 10:28:15

Cummy Bears.

06/02/14 8:14:21

Right I'm going in and I'm not coming out until I've found all those odd socks.

28/06/13 20:02:36

Being told to take his Pick didn't help the situation.

18/06/13 12:01:55

Damn, with a hand that grips like that you would think they would have given me some genitals.

29/04/13 20:28:10

Lucifern.

10/02/13 12:28:03

Father Jack has an involuntary vowel movement.

05/02/13 20:08:53

Tonights Celebrity Special of Their Knife in Your Glands.

12/09/12 20:05:48

Juan, men and his dog.

10/09/12 20:15:38

Milk loaf is their speciality.

29/09/14 10:29:48

The Wife of Brian.

19/08/14 8:48:35

Chickpocket.

13/07/14 22:15:47

Boys will be boys, still trying to see who can get it the highest up the wall.

04/07/14 8:02:26

Let us Spray Tan.

06/06/14 14:28:23

Parking Baybe.

23/05/14 22:15:10

He was later arrested for being in possession of an illegal firearm.

05/05/14 20:05:32

Ant Teeter.

17/04/14 20:02:43

Quagmire decides to upgrade his porn collection.

09/04/14 9:17:09

Things were relatively quiet at the Prostate check recovery centre.

16/02/14 16:25:17

Tyrannosaurus Roxx.

04/02/14 8:47:06

They don't know which Whey to turn.

29/01/14 12:37:46

♪All in all it's just another click on the wall.♪

22/01/14 10:40:53

Looks like he's checking his balance to me.

20/01/14 21:25:00

Looks like Mickey Mouse has finally gone over to the Dark Side.

07/01/14 12:24:35

Why is it we are all wearing scarves?

They help protect us from catching Tinslitus.

28/10/13 20:28:04

Are you any good at this?

Well I have just found out that I am the 2016 Clarevoyant of the year!

03/10/13 12:47:20

XXXmas.

30/09/13 20:35:45

Toe Jam.

29/08/13 20:33:09

Beach Bums.

13/08/13 12:55:00

The girl in the pink T-shirt proves her "Fighting Hunger" campaign is going well by bringing her biggest achievement to the show and tell.

01/05/13 20:42:05

He needs to get a better Lambrrrretta.

01/05/13 12:12:30

Pride shows no prejudice.

01/03/13 20:03:16

A bit Austentatious. --John Glover

Well it's not Michael Barrymore's swimming pool, that's for certain.

30/01/13 20:04:55

I bet when the dude got invited round to Michaels for a night on the tiles , he didn't realise it'd be the bottom of the pool :o --Ross Davidson

Someone's been at the communion wine again haven't they?

28/01/13 20:12:12

The Hand that rocked the Kernel.

11/12/12 15:01:20

Bertie Bassett gets into Allsorts of trouble.

10/08/12 20:33:57

Motorbike and Side Cur.

27/02/12 18:18:17

Naked swingers - better call the copse.

22/02/12 14:47:51

Coq au Caravan

22/06/11 15:33:13

Bill Boarder Terriers.

22/02/19 20:07:45