
James Lennox
This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
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Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
Captions | 6 | 17 | #8 | 25 | 83 | #7 | 4527 | 11916 | #19 |
Photos | 2 | 6 | #13 | ||||||
Comments | 1 | #2 | 5 | 7 | #5 | 824 | 1227 | #3 | |
Forum Posts | 2 | 53 | |||||||
Tips | 1 | 2 | #1 | 1 | 2 | #9 |
caption quota: 74
caption votes given since joining: 6,581
comment quota: 18
comment votes given since joining: 1,313
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"This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence." 18/07/21 11:55:41 |
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Many congratulations, James! I've been out of it a while with Covid and missed some pictures entirely, so this has come as a new delight. A very worthy winner! --Molly R
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23/03/19 8:46:34 |
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Haha. I don't mind chipping in a tenner for second place (it definitely will not be one of mine)!! Great caption. Genuinely choked on my toast. So thanks for nearly killing me! --The Wolf
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22/01/19 8:22:17 |
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Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox
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*Ding* 13/01/23 12:10:08, edited: 13/01/23 12:31:58 |
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I agree with KT A. This is a killer. --Dave Bryan
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This public gathering is just asking to get Corona. 12/05/20 7:16:32 |
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"Lord Vader, the Rebels are attacking. Perhaps you should change out of your pyjamas." 27/12/22 20:01:39 |
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18/06/22 7:00:31 |
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Cheers for the congrats, guys. I think I was lucky to pip Tony's one, so I'm very glad he got a 2nd place prize. A big cheer out to the caption.me contributors who have made this extra prize possible. And, as always, many thanks to Chris for the... --James Lennox
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17/03/22 8:01:22 |
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09/03/21 12:35:25 |
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...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson
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28/04/20 19:23:57 |
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First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox
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"Disaster here in the Paralympic eventing course as Wu Chan's wheelchair refuses to take that jump." 01/12/22 20:07:31 |
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"Gosh darn it," said Davy-Bob. "Nobody told me you could reload them." 12/12/21 12:08:44 |
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Javelins should only be thrown outdoors. 03/02/20 12:00:41 |
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The good news is she was standing just past the world record distance. --Willie Johnson
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I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet. 17/11/20 9:17:11 |
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The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on. 31/07/20 7:09:57 |
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Some people shouldn't be allowed to raise children. 16/09/22 11:00:35 |
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Usually, they're called parents. --Glyn Evans
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"Perfect, my last batch was a little on the dark side." 29/03/22 19:28:20 |
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"I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits." 06/04/21 11:26:41 |
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"Yes, but I don't think Nancy is the right monkey for you on this trip, Joan," said Percy. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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Harold always believed the son shone out of his arse. 27/08/20 7:00:40 |
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If dodos had been better jugglers they wouldn't be extinct. 08/02/20 12:00:17 |
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21/05/19 11:00:27 |
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It was a beautiful wedding, but the honeymoon in France didn't end well. 01/03/19 20:13:39 |
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"Hang on, mum, we haven't tied the string round Billy's bad tooth yet." 18/12/22 20:43:09 |
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...and who can forget Dave's final words: 27/04/21 19:40:05 |
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"Pssst! Word of advice. Some Russians might take offence to this as they might see it as an insult to their National animal, however I know that you're talking about it's actual state of being. If you're urinal cake is glowing a funny colour o... --Glyn Evans
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27/11/20 8:36:38 |
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😂😂😂 I’ve since looked at a Kiwi bird on Images and now it all makes sense and it’s a brilliant caption. I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw what the Kiwi bird looked like. I am going to lol this caption because it’s funny and clev... --Karen Oakenfull
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Nobody makes better balloon animals than Dave. 29/09/20 19:15:41 |
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Always start with a blowfish --Al Overy
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Giving up smoking, diary entry day 23: Either I'm starting to hallucinate or my wife is a bitch. 03/03/19 20:47:18 |
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No she’s not, she menthol 🙃 --Karen Oakenfull
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16/11/22 20:01:07, edited: 16/11/22 20:01:48 |
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"So God created Adam in His own image, which, strangely, was that of a 70s pornstar." 07/05/22 12:28:08 |
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14/12/20 8:05:11 |
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Barbie hasn't changed much in the last 60 years. Ken on the other hand ... 24/11/20 8:17:40 |
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Well that's interesting and disturbing Willie. I bet Ken's namesake had a fun childhood growing up as the kid who has a penis-less incestuous plastic doll named after him. --James Lennox
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Always buy your catnip from a trusted source. 08/09/20 13:23:56 |
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Looks like the match went to sudden death. 17/07/19 7:30:33 |
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01/01/23 20:00:20 |
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09/11/22 12:00:44 |
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What the hell is Sambuchino, and why is throwing it at gnomes a good defence? 31/08/22 7:10:06 |
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09/07/22 7:00:27 |
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"That's OK, you're swimming in our septic tank." 19/05/22 7:02:06 |
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08/10/21 7:08:37 |
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"Sorry to intrude, but could I please have my rubber bone back?" 19/07/21 7:07:59 |
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Sadly, none of the gospels recorded Jesus's performance of YMCA. 23/04/21 11:12:14 |
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Described by critics as 'rather wooden'. --Karyn Harrison
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22/03/21 8:04:11 |
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US politics are insane, General Lee speaking. 24/01/21 8:06:09 |
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12/04/20 7:01:39 |
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"... and then he took his shirt off and things started to get weird." 09/04/20 19:40:08 |
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No animals were harmed during the making of this picture, but some were highly pissed off. 25/03/20 8:07:25 |
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"No animals were harmed" - just someone's dignity. --Willie Johnson
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"Ok Dave, you create a diversion while I steal the mini." 09/01/20 12:14:25 |
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05/12/19 8:04:18 |
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02/09/19 7:57:49 |
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"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip." 05/03/19 12:24:57 |
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15/02/19 20:16:18 |
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Despairing the inevitable onslaught of excruciating puns, the bananas chose suicide. 15/01/23 20:18:34 |
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Careful about giving in to the urge to make a banana pun. It's a slippery slope. --Willie Johnson
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03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07 |
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That poor dog :-D --Glyn Evans
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08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06 |
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08/05/22 12:53:13 |
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"On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone." 12/03/22 12:00:56 |
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01/02/22 8:02:45 |
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18/11/21 13:17:02 |
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I'll show you mine if you show me yours. --Willie Johnson
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"Oh hell, not again. I wish your mother would tell me when she's pregnant." 19/10/21 7:20:26 |
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"Cut! This isn't working. Maybe we should try that laser sword idea after all?" 12/09/21 19:56:53 |
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26/08/21 20:20:59 |
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You won't fool me, I'm posting anonymously. The only thing I trust people from Nigeria with is my bank account number. [anon] --Willie Johnson
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"What are you celebrating?" 12/08/21 7:05:59 |
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Having got through Covid, I can identify with that. --Molly R
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"Here's five bucks kid," said Tina from Doncaster. "It's been a while." 17/04/21 19:58:08 |
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"🎵 Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chamele..." 06/03/21 20:00:44 |
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Stop it, it's bad karma. --Willie Johnson
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It was Alvin's coke habit that caused the band to break up. 04/03/21 20:13:45 |
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Bloody Royal Mail. You post something 65 million years in advance and it still arrives a month late. 25/01/21 12:59:28 |
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17/12/20 20:34:15 |
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29/03/20 8:17:00 |
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Funny, I dated a vegetarian once and she didn't like little willies. 01/03/20 8:37:20 |
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"Good thinking Ahmed, this trip across the Sahara will be much better with air-conditioning." 16/02/20 20:03:32 |
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And in his spare time Spiderman helps Gulliver floss. 07/02/20 13:01:19 |
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"For Crissake, there's no need to call Social Services, the damn baby isn't even mine." Tue 20:08:36 |
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"Nah, that's rubbish," said Walt Disney. "Let's try dogs and spaghetti." 01/11/22 8:00:55, edited: 01/11/22 8:04:08 |
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Disney are really cutting corners with their live action remakes. --Mark Cowling
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"Sure, it stings now, but you'll thank me when you're grown up and immune to jellyfish." 06/10/22 11:04:54, edited: 06/10/22 11:13:33 |
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When she sobered up, Rose suddenly wished for an iceberg. 10/08/22 13:16:38 |
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18/05/22 7:27:06 |
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13/05/22 13:37:30 |
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Despite her abnormal childhood, Susan grew up to be a perfectly normal serial killer. 04/11/21 12:07:00 |
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There's a few serial killers you have to watch, they're a bit strange. Not from around these parts. --Glyn Evans
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"Put down the knife, Davy, and let's discuss this silly hat idea." 18/10/21 11:20:10 |
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Mittens was later convicted by concrete evidence. 07/10/21 19:08:30 |
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The downside of early photography was the long exposure time. 24/02/21 20:13:42 |
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Those baby photographers take forever. --Willie Johnson
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21/12/20 8:40:26 |
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06/12/20 20:00:51 |
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I wish we could return to the good old days, when women took ironing seriously. 10/09/20 7:21:35 |
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It's obviously a Salvador BaalÃ. 07/09/20 7:00:36 |
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19/07/20 7:14:06 |
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You'd think that no matter how inebriated someone got, that they wouldn't eat someone else's vomit - however it wouldn't surprise me if someone somewhere had a story like that to tell. --Glyn Evans
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The top half looks good, but dig a little deeper and you'll find she's got crabs. 29/05/20 19:14:51 |
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Warning, terrible pun ahead, brace yourselves. 24/03/20 20:24:26 |
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OrthoDON'Tics --Scrijjy Doo
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My wife wanted a baby, I wanted a fridge magnet, we compromised. 26/06/19 7:00:40 |
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Scientists at CERN say it's nothing to worry about. 23/03/19 13:42:05 |
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He's been driving around in circles for ages. 20/02/19 12:00:19 |
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What happens in the barn, stays in the barn. 12/11/22 20:06:08 |
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"Give me your basket, bitch!" demanded Little Red Riding Hoodlum. 26/08/22 7:11:50 |
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"Well, those seats are novel." 16/08/22 7:04:17, edited: 16/08/22 7:08:51 |
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23/06/22 19:30:52 |
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Cheers, Al. I reckon this would be a great month for Chris to do something totally spontaneous and pick a winner from the middle of the pack ;) --James Lennox
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20/06/22 20:53:21 |
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"Dad, I can't breathe!" 18/02/22 8:50:49 |
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"Mittens, honey, I've got good news and bad. The good news is I have that pesky mouse cornered..." 01/02/22 20:10:14 |
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"Where on earth is the bow?" 17/11/21 9:04:49 |
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The Invisible Man still has nightmares about the time he caught Spiderman masturbating. 30/10/21 9:04:25 |
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He's no longer the Invisible Man, now he's more like See-man --Glyn Evans
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Apologies for the re-use, but it just seemed too appropriate not to.
2:16pm
comment on caption:
The Empire Strikes a Match [James Lennox]
Sorry for the edit voters, had to make a typo correction.
8:30am
comment on caption:
"Keep pushing, Miss, that baby helicopter will be out in no time." [James Lennox]
Apologies 20:00:09, didn't see yours. To be fair I hated myself for writing this caption anyway, so I'll edit. Kimjong Pun, please consider giving a vote to 20:00:09 and sorry for editing my caption after your vote.
8:27pm
comment on caption:
"Dude, I think we underestimated the distance from the lifeguard tower to the sea." [James Lennox]
It’s funny because you’re not trying to be! And I feel enlightened!
9:33am
comment on caption:
Zzyzx is an unincorporated community in San Bernardino County, California. Curtis Howe Springer, an American radio evangelist, made up the name Zzyzx and gave it to the area in 1944, claiming it to be the last word in the English language.
If your captions aren't funny, at least make them informative. [James Lennox]
So someone hit "esc" on their keyboard and everyone rejoiced at their new found freedom...
Then someone else hit "return".
2:34am
comment on caption:
The Not So Great Escape [James Lennox]
To be fair, that's probably better than my caption, Willie. I had the disposing of soil down trouser legs scene playing clearly in my head, and thought (irrationally) that everyone would know what I was alluding to. I must work on making my captions more obvious.
5:21am
comment on caption:
The Not So Great Escape [James Lennox]
I never saw that movie (The Great Escape) but now that you've explained it you've got my vote. The word "escape" just reminded me of a joke I'd seen elsewhere (it's not even one of my own).
9:29pm
comment on caption:
The Not So Great Escape [James Lennox]
Don't nod off.
3:10pm
comment on caption:
Too many Meals on wheels.
[Nod to 12:07:58 ... and 15/11/22 8:00:18, and 28/10/22 19:00:10, and 18/09/22 10:35:49, and 05/02/22 12:00:07, and 10/10/21 11:00:07, and 23/05/21 19:09:24, and 02/05/19 11:11:05, and...] [James Lennox]
With that many nods you'd look like a headbanger. And/or get brain damage.
5:27pm
comment on caption:
Too many Meals on wheels.
[Nod to 12:07:58 ... and 15/11/22 8:00:18, and 28/10/22 19:00:10, and 18/09/22 10:35:49, and 05/02/22 12:00:07, and 10/10/21 11:00:07, and 23/05/21 19:09:24, and 02/05/19 11:11:05, and...] [James Lennox]
No there isn't, thats what I wrote lol
8:01pm
comment on caption:
Is there any Captioneer that isn't thinking "Doris Johnson"? [James Lennox]