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| Captions | 17 | 52 | #9 | 17 | 52 | #9 | 3448 | 8719 | #24 |
| Comments | 4 | 2 | #7 | 4 | 2 | #7 | 603 | 756 | #7 |
| Forum Posts | 2 | 53 | |||||||
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James Lennox
signed up: 2 years, 10 months ago
profile viewed: 0 time(s) this week
caption quota: 75
caption votes given since joining: 4,399
comment quota: 38
comment votes given since joining: 840
super vote quota: 56
I'm a Kiwi. To date that's about the most interesting thing about me.
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£50 "This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence." 18/07/21 12:55:41 |
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Many congratulations, James! I've been out of it a while with Covid and missed some pictures entirely, so this has come as a new delight. A very worthy winner! --Molly R
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23/03/19 8:46:34 |
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Haha. I don't mind chipping in a tenner for second place (it definitely will not be one of mine)!! Great caption. Genuinely choked on my toast. So thanks for nearly killing me! --The Wolf
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£50 22/01/19 8:22:17 |
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Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox
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This public gathering is just asking to get Corona. 12/05/20 8:16:32 |
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09/03/21 12:35:25 |
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...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson
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£50 "What do you think Dave?" 28/04/20 20:23:57 |
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First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox
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Javelins should only be thrown outdoors. 03/02/20 12:00:41 |
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The good news is she was standing just past the world record distance. --Willie Johnson
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I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet. 17/11/20 9:17:11 |
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The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on. 31/07/20 8:09:57 |
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"I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits." 06/04/21 12:26:41 |
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"Yes, but I don't think Nancy is the right monkey for you on this trip, Joan," said Percy. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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Harold always believed the son shone out of his arse. 27/08/20 8:00:40 |
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If dodos had been better jugglers they wouldn't be extinct. 08/02/20 12:00:17 |
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21/05/19 12:00:27 |
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It was a beautiful wedding, but the honeymoon in France didn't end well. 01/03/19 20:13:39 |
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...and who can forget Dave's final words: 27/04/21 20:40:05 |
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"Pssst! Word of advice. Some Russians might take offence to this as they might see it as an insult to their National animal, however I know that you're talking about it's actual state of being. If you're urinal cake is glowing a funny colour o... --Glyn Evans
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27/11/20 8:36:38 |
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😂😂😂 I’ve since looked at a Kiwi bird on Images and now it all makes sense and it’s a brilliant caption. I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw what the Kiwi bird looked like. I am going to lol this caption because it’s funny and clev... --Karen Oakenfull
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Nobody makes better balloon animals than Dave. 29/09/20 20:15:41 |
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Always start with a blowfish --Al Overy
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Giving up smoking, diary entry day 23: Either I'm starting to hallucinate or my wife is a bitch. 03/03/19 20:47:18 |
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No she’s not, she menthol 🙃 --Karen Oakenfull
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14/12/20 8:05:11 |
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Barbie hasn't changed much in the last 60 years. Ken on the other hand ... 24/11/20 8:17:40 |
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Well that's interesting and disturbing Willie. I bet Ken's namesake had a fun childhood growing up as the kid who has a penis-less incestuous plastic doll named after him. --James Lennox
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Always buy your catnip from a trusted source. 08/09/20 14:23:56 |
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Looks like the match went to sudden death. 17/07/19 8:30:33 |
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08/10/21 8:08:37 |
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"Sorry to intrude, but could I please have my rubber bone back?" 19/07/21 8:07:59 |
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Sadly, none of the gospels recorded Jesus's performance of YMCA. 23/04/21 12:12:14 |
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Described by critics as 'rather wooden'. --Karyn Harrison
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22/03/21 8:04:11 |
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US politics are insane, General Lee speaking. 24/01/21 8:06:09 |
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12/04/20 8:01:39 |
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"... and then he took his shirt off and things started to get weird." 09/04/20 20:40:08 |
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No animals were harmed during the making of this picture, but some were highly pissed off. 25/03/20 8:07:25 |
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"No animals were harmed" - just someone's dignity. --Willie Johnson
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"Ok Dave, you create a diversion while I steal the mini." 09/01/20 12:14:25 |
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05/12/19 8:04:18 |
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02/09/19 8:57:49 |
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"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip." 05/03/19 12:24:57 |
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15/02/19 20:16:18 |
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"Oh hell, not again. I wish your mother would tell me when she's pregnant." Tue 8:20:26 |
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"Cut! This isn't working. Maybe we should try that laser sword idea after all?" 12/09/21 20:56:53 |
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26/08/21 21:20:59 |
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You won't fool me, I'm posting anonymously. The only thing I trust people from Nigeria with is my bank account number. [anon] --Willie Johnson
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"What are you celebrating?" 12/08/21 8:05:59 |
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Having got through Covid, I can identify with that. --Molly R
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"Here's five bucks kid," said Tina from Doncaster. "It's been a while." 17/04/21 20:58:08 |
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"🎵 Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chamele..." 06/03/21 20:00:44 |
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Stop it, it's bad karma. --Willie Johnson
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It was Alvin's coke habit that caused the band to break up. 04/03/21 20:13:45 |
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Bloody Royal Mail. You post something 65 million years in advance and it still arrives a month late. 25/01/21 12:59:28 |
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17/12/20 20:34:15 |
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29/03/20 9:17:00 |
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Funny, I dated a vegetarian once and she didn't like little willies. 01/03/20 8:37:20 |
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"Good thinking Ahmed, this trip across the Sahara will be much better with air-conditioning." 16/02/20 20:03:32 |
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And in his spare time Spiderman helps Gulliver floss. 07/02/20 13:01:19 |
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"Put down the knife, Davy, and let's discuss this silly hat idea." Mon 12:20:10 |
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Mittens was later convicted by concrete evidence. 07/10/21 20:08:30 |
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The downside of early photography was the long exposure time. 24/02/21 20:13:42 |
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Those baby photographers take forever. --Willie Johnson
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21/12/20 8:40:26 |
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06/12/20 20:00:51 |
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I wish we could return to the good old days, when women took ironing seriously. 10/09/20 8:21:35 |
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It's obviously a Salvador BaalÃ. 07/09/20 8:00:36 |
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19/07/20 8:14:06 |
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You'd think that no matter how inebriated someone got, that they wouldn't eat someone else's vomit - however it wouldn't surprise me if someone somewhere had a story like that to tell. --Glyn Evans
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The top half looks good, but dig a little deeper and you'll find she's got crabs. 29/05/20 20:14:51 |
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Warning, terrible pun ahead, brace yourselves. 24/03/20 20:24:26 |
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OrthoDON'Tics --Scrijjy Doo
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My wife wanted a baby, I wanted a fridge magnet, we compromised. 26/06/19 8:00:40 |
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Scientists at CERN say it's nothing to worry about. 23/03/19 13:42:05 |
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He's been driving around in circles for ages. 20/02/19 12:00:19 |
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11/10/21 20:06:35 |
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That's one cat at £1000 each... --Glyn Evans
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"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in." 06/08/21 20:00:26 |
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"Those bugs have eluded me so far, but something tells me they're f#cking close." 25/05/21 20:47:45 |
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"We're not wearing anything Dave, but if you're shy come in your shorts." 09/03/21 12:00:39 |
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Fortunately the North Korean nuclear threat wasn't all it had been cracked up to be. 22/02/21 8:22:01 |
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Dave loved riding lightning rods during hurricanes. He did it well. We'll miss you Dave. 14/01/21 8:07:10 |
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Please change it back. I thought "We'll miss you Dave" was punchier, but you decide. --Glyn Evans
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It's a wonder of nature how sunflowers always turn to face the camera. 08/11/20 20:09:23 |
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"Honey, remember how 9 months ago I told you I was abducted by aliens..." 29/09/20 8:03:18 |
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When your remote falls down the back of the pouch. 24/08/20 12:05:55 |
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Gloves and mask are required PPE - Lab coat is optional. 30/04/20 8:03:23 |
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I hope to move here, I'm sick of living in Wanking. 16/04/20 20:19:03 |
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31/03/20 13:07:22 |
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20/03/20 12:38:53 |
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(I like it the way it is.) --Crunchy Chords
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27/02/20 20:12:02 |
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If you're a captioneer, there actually ARE faces in everyday things. --Willie Johnson
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Never give bubblegum to your dog. 16/01/20 23:35:44 |
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Well played Mr Lennox. Brilliant caption! --Karyn Harrison
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Well, the ventriloquism was good, but have you thought about getting a smaller dummy? 04/09/19 8:02:16 |
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"No Sweetie, put it down ... we have to cook it first." 20/08/19 20:00:13 |
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Had the same idea but decided to change mine slightly at the last minute! (damn it)! Here, have a vote, I've disguised my vote as a golf ball, ready, steady, FORE...smack, (sails through the trees and down the fairway like meteor destined for hap... --The Wolf
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I retract my earlier caption: THIS is the tackiest toilet I've ever seen. 24/04/19 20:09:10 |
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Replace your groin armour now Stormtrooper #66! 26/01/19 12:12:44 |
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"No parking space again! I'm going to have a word with those clowns next door." 10/08/21 20:09:57 |
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This joyous day was squawked about for years at the local seagull colony. 01/08/21 20:54:49 |
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Don't do it. It's false advertising. 22/07/21 8:01:33 |
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"I SAID, YOUR LIPSTICK IS ON WONKY! Oh, I give up, she's obviously deaf as a post." 17/07/21 8:13:05 |
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Staging this photo was expensive. It cost Lucy from wardrobe an arm and a leg. 09/05/21 20:10:50 |
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"That's just life son, they've stopped mum and I from swinging too." 19/02/21 20:10:50 |
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"Barry, you're twenty-seven, don't you think it's time you left home?" 14/02/21 20:16:24 |
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"I'm not Barry, and I have left home." --Willie Johnson
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"I'll be late home, I've got a mountain of paperwork to get through." 26/01/21 20:00:06 |
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"Well, that's the last time I chase Santa up the chimney." 30/12/20 20:02:32 |
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08/08/20 8:06:12 |
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"Hello sailor, do you need a tug?" 26/06/20 12:00:35 |
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Dirty bitch has been frigging in rigging again.Bye the way send the Missus home when you've done with her please I need my dinner. --Flo .
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Say goodbye to costly toilet paper! 09/04/20 12:01:41 |
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17/03/20 8:27:18 |
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Yet another sensible reason why every American should own a gun. 20/02/20 20:30:21 |
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Nothing says Prince of Demonic Evil like a V-neck sweater. 24/01/20 8:04:46 |
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"A little help here guys, this damn sign's heavy." 12/01/20 20:00:48 |
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It's weird how in every group of friends there's always one muppet. 16/12/19 8:00:53 |
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21/11/19 20:00:24 |
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Thank God for that. --Chris Halliwell
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How much is that Dobby in the window? 08/10/19 20:00:10 |
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"It's fine. Don't mind me. Pretend I'm not here. Go back to sleep." 28/07/19 8:00:16 |
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more captions
"How long do we have to stand this way with our feet together?"
"Until the the eggs hatch or the chicken coop gets fixed. Whichever comes first."
12:52pm
comment on caption:
If ever there was a time for an eggs and soldiers joke, now would be it... [James Lennox]
I reckon there's a caption in that comment Willie. Maybe a bit late now, but something like:
"This feels like a terrible waste of manpower. Maybe we should build some sort of chicken enclosure?"
EDIT: Darn it, I think I'll post it, late as it is. Will nod to your comment here Willie
9:53pm
comment on caption:
If ever there was a time for an eggs and soldiers joke, now would be it... [James Lennox]
Thanks caption author. I wanted to leave it here because it was apropo being an egg and soldiers joke. Good luck with your version.
11:39pm
comment on caption:
If ever there was a time for an eggs and soldiers joke, now would be it... [James Lennox]
Fatal mistake?
12:54pm
comment on caption:
"Shouldn't ... slurp ... have eaten ... slurp ... those damn ... slurp ... salted peanuts." [James Lennox]
I preferred the previous version.
12:57pm
comment on caption:
"Shouldn't ... slurp ... have eaten ... slurp ... those damn ... slurp ... salted peanuts." [James Lennox]
Have reverted to original, Al. Cheers.
12:58pm
comment on caption:
"Shouldn't ... slurp ... have eaten ... slurp ... those damn ... slurp ... salted peanuts." [James Lennox]
She's the belle of the ball.
7:46pm
comment on caption:
Every year in Rafael Nadal's hometown, one lucky señorita is crowned Miss Tennis Ball. [James Lennox]
That's one cat at £1000 each...
8:10pm
comment on caption:
Good news! The members of caption.me have all chipped in to help solve your problem! Here's 942 cats. [James Lennox]
My eyes aren't that good sometimes. Here's what I noticed, in order:
1. Spiderman's next to a Christmas tree.
2. That's not a Christmas tree.
3. Whoa!
11:24am
comment on caption:
Psychological Evaluation Test, Question 3: Who did you notice first?
A. Spiderman
B. The girl with big boobs
C. Margaret Thatcher riding a flamingo [James Lennox]
I must admit that is a nice drinks cooler
8:07am
comment on caption:
Chris did warn us ads were coming to caption.me, but this product placement is getting bloody ridiculous. [James Lennox]