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James Lennox

signed up: 2 months, 2 weeks ago
profile viewed: 7 time(s) this week
caption quota: 42
votes given since joining: 273
super vote quota: 5

profile photos send private message captions comments received

I'm a Kiwi. There's no option to show that on the Captioneer map, but if you scroll out to the date lines you could imagine my smiley face in the middle of the island in the bottom right corner.

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captions

£50
WINNER

Wash his hands hopefully.

22/01/19 8:22:17

Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox

Replace your groin armour now Stormtrooper #66!

26/01/19 12:12:44

"Menstrual cycle - Mood. Do you understand now?"

26/01/19 9:26:11

The problem has been the red pen. If we switch to a green one things will improve.

26/01/19 8:33:37

The rumour that King Midas died while masturbating turned out to be true.

Wed 20:29:48

"Two happy meals, a ride on the carousel, and a romantic walk on the beach. If I don't get a snog out of this I'm giving up dating."

03/02/19 12:26:24

Beware of rubber duckies. They're dangerous little bastards.

02/02/19 8:01:50

"So Darling, I had my piano upgraded. Do you like the pop-up scenery?"

"It's nice Dear, but installing the slide was a stroke of genius."

07/02/19 8:18:30

By the power vested in sea, I pronounce you sand and wife. You may miss the tide.

19/01/19 10:44:24

"Sorry James, we can't put 'Arsebandit' on the plaque. How about 'Architect' instead?"

28/01/19 20:00:41

John sank into a deep depression after his wife left him for a Sony 65 inch Ultra HD.

22/01/19 20:19:44

"It's a sext from Catwoman. Time to dust off the old Batpole!"

07/02/19 20:27:47

14/01/19 20:07:42

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zjVZvkzr5A Listen at own risk ;) --James Lennox

"No Tarzan, you may not cut in."

09/02/19 21:18:25

Shoplifters often work in teams. Two of them cause a distraction, while the third makes a run for it.

06/02/19 18:33:06

The breast caption is one that makes you think.

17/01/19 20:41:53

So everyone's behaving themselves, and then you two decide to get it on.

17/01/19 8:14:33

They started acting lovey-dovey. --Spycenwolf

Well, if you really want the truth, your lips taste like plastic and you have a hairy tongue.

15/01/19 20:23:19

"On second thoughts, I won't have the omelette."

01/01/19 21:00:37

30 captions in and no direct mention of pussies being eaten ... woops.

30/01/19 20:11:42

So that's what they do with all the voteless captions.

20/01/19 20:04:44

"Hello. My name is Ungato Enfadado. You killed my father last caption. Prepare to die."

11/01/19 21:44:32

Jamaican bobsled team training facility

Thu 20:14:52

The second little Piggy was not happy.

Mon 20:01:20

I think they've misinterpreted the rules of musical chairs.

10/02/19 12:09:05

"Threaten me all you want good sir, I cannot play 'Ebony and Ivory'. Would 'Dark Bronze and Not So Dark Bronze' suffice?"

07/02/19 8:08:46

"It'll be extra for all that fertiliser, but sure, I can take you to the US embassy. By the way, what's with all the wires?"

04/02/19 12:45:42

"We're going to need a bigger sofa."

30/01/19 20:52:26

Sure, she's got nice bananas, but just wait till you see her melons.

27/01/19 8:14:37

She had an ass that didn't know when to quit.

08/01/19 20:10:58

Before breathalyzers, intoxication level tests were more complicated.

19/12/18 20:13:19

When the vandals chose to break off his nose, David breathed a sigh of relief.

Tue 8:28:52

We shouldn't make fun of other cultures' customs, but there comes a point where you have no choice.

10/02/19 20:39:39

Just another couple of mindless models.

07/02/19 12:45:51

Alice the Antlered Anaconda and the Half-height Horned Hobbit loved the annual Silly Superhero Soiree, but the Lazy Leotarded Lizard couldn't really be bothered.

06/02/19 20:46:44

Pele had the greatest raw ball skills ever.

03/02/19 8:06:32

The moment before Christmas was cancelled.

31/01/19 20:39:36

Those chinos look familiar.

31/01/19 12:19:44

His staff sergeant thinks Ralph slacks off. He pants horribly during training and needs a belt around the head just to keep up.

30/01/19 14:31:37

"Remember that time the bearded lady accidentally set fire to all three of her hair brushes? How we laughed!"

28/01/19 8:00:16

Sick of losing fights to the local alley cat, Tabby decided to even the odds.

27/01/19 20:58:19

Swingers party.

23/01/19 20:15:26

It was inevitable, given the type of people I've seen coming inside that store.

19/01/19 18:33:30

Too close to 13:12:11. Will edit. --James Lennox

Oh man. Now I know why my Stay Weird high waist crotchless undies have never felt comfortable.

17/01/19 20:46:10

It's beyond pigeon post. Everything is binary now: 0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0.

17/01/19 8:08:48

Get drunk, pick up a pasty, funny looking, middle-aged guy, but in the morning you wake up next to a tanned, hot, twenty year old chick. We've all been there.

15/01/19 20:08:47

If you think about it, "Enter Only" signs serve no purpose, unless there's a sign on the other side of the door that says "On the other side of this door there is an 'Enter Only' sign."

14/01/19 21:10:05

"I hope you're not praying for chips."

06/01/19 20:05:40

This is why we don't allow trick shots.

05/01/19 21:16:33

At least it wasn't a rottweiler.

02/01/19 20:32:26

A genuine LOL moment. --Barrie Bullock

last comments (total: 41)

Brilliant caption!

01/02/19
8:58pm

comment on caption:
Wash his hands hopefully. [James Lennox]

Nice one James. You're a star.

02/02/19
10:33am

comment on caption:
Wash his hands hopefully. [James Lennox]

Kudos to anyone who gets this, and to anyone who googles it in order to do so.

(caption author)

04/02/19
8:17am

comment on caption:
This is an embarrassment. [James Lennox]

Sorry I’m late but well done James, keep up the great work

04/02/19
11:40am

comment on caption:
Wash his hands hopefully. [James Lennox]

Collective noun I think.

04/02/19
10:35pm

comment on caption:
This is an embarrassment. [James Lennox]

Spot on Dot.

(caption author)

04/02/19
10:58pm

comment on caption:
This is an embarrassment. [James Lennox]

Easy to see why. It must be really humiliating to be going around with a bare bum your entire life!

06/02/19
12:55am

comment on caption:
This is an embarrassment. [James Lennox]

Apologies for the obvious clash with with 8:00:24. I need to type faster :)

(caption author)

08/02/19
8:17am

comment on caption:
"Yeah it's Morgan Freeman here. Can you send another stunt double over, this one's thrown a hip." [James Lennox]

Nods to 8:00:12 & 8:00:30.

(caption author)

Tuesday
8:17am

comment on caption:
A stony stare, chiseled features, and a granite jaw ... shame about his busted nose. [James Lennox]

Nod to That 70's Show fondue episode.

(caption author)

Wednesday
8:42am

comment on caption:
That's a taekwondon't. [James Lennox]