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"If you were 'at your desk all morning', Mildred, how do explain this battered courgette next to an open copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover?"
12/02/21 12:00:37
"Hi there, am doing a report on librarians food habits. Can you tell me your favourite kebab?""Shhsh."
12/02/21 12:28:07
Susan found it hard to adapt since leaving her last job as a usherette in the local cinema
12/02/21 13:59:39
Library picture.
12/02/21 12:09:53
The library seemed to employ girls with good headlamps.
12/02/21 14:22:22
"So you've missed your period. Ok I'll examine you with this home pregnancy test. As a librarian you should never be overdue."
12/02/21 13:01:41
" I must give you a full internal examination Maureen. It's the only way we're going to get to the bottom of this missing rubber stamp."
12/02/21 12:41:31
"Have you ever used a strap-on before?"
12/02/21 12:38:43
"Was it you who put all the Prince Phillip biographies under Greek Tragedies?"
12/02/21 16:20:51
With this device you will be able to read a man’s mind.Will I be able to read a woman’s mind?Don’t be silly, we think on a multi lane highway, but men just have a one track mind.
12/02/21 15:33:01
"Take it Jane. Strap it to your head, and let's spend the afternoon playing Daleks."
12/02/21 12:45:15
Where have you hidden the pair of Walnut Whips, Dorothy?
12/02/21 12:13:16
"Excuse me, I'm looking for a light read"
12/02/21 12:01:43
Having been accused of removing all of the gynaecology books, Jenny became the victim of a smear campaign.
12/02/21 12:56:29
''That's the last cucumber you bring into the library. Your salad days are over.''
12/02/21 12:25:16
Bibliotèch
12/02/21 12:23:56
Even at school, the future Princess Diana was always going on about land mines.
12/02/21 19:00:30
"Why did you not use your headlamp?""You look ridiculous in it"
12/02/21 16:36:45
My guess is there are six headlamps in this photo.
12/02/21 15:41:11
Theresa how are we going to get through Brexit, if you’ve removed the light from the end of the tunnel.
12/02/21 15:24:49
"It's a microphone Miss Jones, yes it was on my husbands desk. So, since when have you been called Dimples and how long have you been smacking my Donald's bare bottom with the Coronation edition of the London Illustrated news?"
12/02/21 13:22:04
"Ok, this is called a fleshlight. Pop it on your boyfriend's willy tonight and he'll be so preoccupied that he'll hopefully stop sucking your nipples so hard. Poor thing, let me get you some germolene. And people said working in a library would be boring"
12/02/21 12:41:58
"So from now on, instead of stamping peoples books, We just read the Bill Gates microchip from the covid jab."
12/02/21 12:34:55
Come on Elizabeth just let me film you using this electronic vibrator. I can assure you once you are Queen your family will do far worse to embarrass the Royal family.
12/02/21 12:15:29
“Oh quit yer moaning, it’s fully tested & approved. I’ve done it, so has Madge. It's like a gentle abrasive pencil sharpener. Carol, you’ve been warned, those nips are just too pointy for this office.”
12/02/21 12:00:18
A moment of dread for Betty. She knew these head torches were like her new top, too big or too tight
13/02/21 18:03:32
"I'm ready to do some spelunking. Are you in? ...I'm in if you let me."
12/02/21 18:19:09
So you’re telling me your colleges put PVA all over your head torch because they think you’re stuck up.
12/02/21 15:22:41
"Now Cecille, did you eat my Cornetto?"
12/02/21 13:04:18
"I found this double D battery in your vibrator."
12/02/21 13:02:17
Gynecology isn't an exact science.
12/02/21 13:00:14
Lightbrarians
12/02/21 12:56:56
Lesbrarians
12/02/21 12:53:50
"Velma Dinkley! I just found this listening equipment and empty tin of Scooby snacks under Fred's bed. Have you and Scrappy Doo been listening to us shagging again?" said Daphne.
12/02/21 12:52:46
So its the new experimetal lady shave. Have you got a Brazilian?""Brazilian! I've got the whole of South America."
12/02/21 12:25:52
Betty, it's your turn to fill the photocopier toner
12/02/21 12:22:15
''This vibrator I found on your desk speaks volumes about your depraved habits.''
12/02/21 12:16:54
Are you cooking the books, Mavis?
12/02/21 12:11:02
Betty knew that bitch Doris would find her stash of tinned fruit; she would have to spill the beans
12/02/21 12:01:15
"I don't know why Mildred, but I've got a sudden urge to stick this right up your jacksie"
12/02/21 12:00:16
"Abigail Jones, you are junior librarian here at the East Cheam Public Library. Can you tell our viewers what should be their go-to reads now that World War II is over?"
12/02/21 12:00:11