| This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 5 | 22 | #5 | 27 | 94 | #3 | 7050 | 13122 | #11 |
| Comments | 127 | 166 | #26 | ||||||
| Forum Posts | 3 | 8 | |||||||
Vanessa the Guesser
signed up: 4 years, 2 months ago
profile viewed: 3 time(s) this week
caption quota: 65
votes given since joining: 4,814
super vote quota: 99
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captions
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£50 He's in for a shock. There's a conductor on board today. 27/04/19 12:09:49 |
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I feel lucky to have won as I was up against some brilliant high scoring captions this month. Thank you for the votes, supervotes and kind comments! --Vanessa the Guesser
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£50 08/08/20 8:05:57 |
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Thanks everybody! I really appreciate all the support and the lovely uplifting comments. :) --Vanessa the Guesser
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25/07/20 12:02:49 |
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Icy too --Willie Johnson
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£50  11/02/19 12:01:55 |
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Thank you for the votes and kind messages, they are much appreciated. Hope you all have a great weekend! --Vanessa the Guesser
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£50  20/09/18 8:05:14 |
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I'm so excited to win! Thanks for the votes and comments. --Vanessa the Guesser
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18/04/20 12:11:28 |
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11/07/19 8:18:11 |
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30/04/19 12:21:58 |
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19/01/20 13:30:10 |
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20/06/19 20:01:49 |
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27/06/20 12:04:09 |
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Phone Bogx --Flo .
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I don't know about buses but 3 old men came at once. 10/05/20 12:09:22 |
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Some of us still love a hairy Regina. 04/05/19 20:15:39 |
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24/04/19 20:00:24 |
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Who you gonna call? Ghostbuskers 21/03/20 12:00:10 |
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There is no Dana. Only Zuul. --Scrijjy Doo
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18/03/20 20:27:47 |
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09/03/20 12:00:12 |
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I didn't realise it was Leslie Ash Wednesday 04/03/20 8:03:15 |
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Very funny. Not an easy photo to caption. --Dave Bryan
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27/12/19 20:00:11 |
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You can usually spot penguins by their peculiar gates. 02/02/18 9:11:01 |
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25/07/20 12:01:16 |
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16/04/20 20:03:38 |
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03/04/20 20:00:09 |
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"I'm just off out clubbing now, mum!" 13/03/20 20:02:58 |
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She'll be 'Dancing on the sealing' --Mr Dome
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30/12/19 16:56:53 |
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The clitoris fancy dress party was poorly attended as hardly anyone could find it. 21/12/19 13:31:38 |
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28/12/18 12:00:41 |
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When you need to look fetching. 05/10/18 13:36:36 |
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George is really coming out of his shell. 02/07/18 20:00:28 |
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02/02/18 12:30:31 |
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10/04/17 12:30:43 |
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I sent all my kids to boarding school. 25/02/17 12:00:14 |
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Best caption for some time in my 'umble opinionG --Gf j
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It's pointless Richard Osman and Alexander Armstrong trying to hide on holiday. 10/01/17 8:21:51 |
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My first laugh out loud moment of the day. Thanks! :D --Pussy Galore
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This will mean curtains for their marriage. 23/09/20 8:30:40 |
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06/09/20 12:00:14 |
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25/08/20 20:00:08 |
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"I'll just try on the milkman's shoes whilst he's upstairs talking to mummy." 16/08/20 12:08:01 |
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It's a terrible thing when your wife runs off with the milkman, you really do miss him. Nod to Led Dawson. 😂😂 --Chris Halliwell
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05/08/20 8:55:25 |
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"Sorry, I'm straining to hear you" 27/06/20 12:05:59 |
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"Your work's been a little sloppy recently." 15/05/20 12:12:01 |
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He's hoping to move to a new firm --Mr Dome
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Vets report a sharp increase in over-walked dogs suffering from exhaustion. 04/04/20 12:03:09 |
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Government fears outbreak of Evian Flu. 15/03/20 8:00:17 |
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And Edam is the only cheese that is made backwards --stone face
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19/02/20 20:23:57 |
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09/10/19 8:00:32 |
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21/08/19 8:00:10 |
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17/07/19 8:00:07 |
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"My wife has a matching beaver." 18/03/19 12:10:10 |
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13/10/18 12:00:11 |
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"By the way, I don't share needles." 15/08/18 12:03:27 |
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14/08/18 20:11:45 |
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She won't stay unseeded for long. 01/08/18 20:13:06 |
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We need to be careful. There's a guy over there with one stone. 25/03/17 8:01:59 |
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30/01/17 12:22:18 |
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31/12/16 20:00:29 |
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"How long have you been engaged?" 15/06/20 20:00:14 |
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22/04/20 12:07:44 |
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Most relationships involve a bit of gibbon take. 23/01/20 8:22:06 |
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Now THAT'S a reseeding hairline 15/01/20 20:00:30 |
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05/01/20 20:00:23 |
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"Ok, now you'll just feel a little scratch" 05/11/19 8:11:52 |
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You could end up with a Nazi injury. 06/09/19 8:01:13 |
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15/08/19 20:16:33 |
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My girlfriend's not interested insects. 14/06/19 8:03:09 |
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What about your ant? --stone face
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"Does my butt look big in this?" 01/06/19 20:46:52 |
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"This food's a bit too rich for me." 24/03/19 12:10:12 |
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Don't mock big-breasted women. They need all the support they can get. 19/03/19 20:00:29 |
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You did it! Nice caption. --Greg Curtis
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19/03/19 8:00:06 |
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31/01/19 20:00:13 |
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"There's no way I'm kissing his ring." 12/01/19 20:31:12 |
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"There's a faulty gene in my family. Most of the women are carriers." 15/10/18 8:01:59 |
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22/09/18 8:00:10 |
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24/08/18 8:00:28 |
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24/07/18 20:04:41 |
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22/06/18 12:57:38 |
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I'd avoid these like the plague. 11/11/17 8:02:58 |
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I've tried, but he's more interested in the birds than the bees. 21/08/17 12:03:53 |
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Thank goodness it's not a Picasso. 21/02/17 14:03:54 |
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my caption to your caption....:) --avijit kelkar
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15/11/16 20:00:41 |
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The bark was worse than their bite 01/10/16 12:00:52 |
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Tue 20:00:57 |
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Miss Russia won the pageant by a whisker 28/08/20 20:14:06 |
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Then, did they whisker away? --Willie Johnson
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03/08/20 12:00:07 |
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Or a Second-Best Western. --Willie Johnson
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"At the turd stroke, it will be 12.27 and 30 seconds.." 27/06/20 12:27:30 |
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Must be an Irish Speaking Clock....12.27 and 30 seconds..So It Is. --Flo .
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"Is this the bastard who shoved a stick in my rabbit hole?" 25/06/20 20:00:27 |
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Up the rabbits! --Karyn Harrison
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"I think our neighbours are swingers." 19/05/20 9:06:06 |
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In that case they might be up for a treesome? --Woofer 6
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09/03/20 8:50:20 |
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"Stop complaining and put it in your trap." 24/11/19 9:23:14 |
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05/10/19 14:14:26 |
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10/08/19 12:01:02 |
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31/05/19 12:21:04 |
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"It covers up my unsightly mole." 18/03/19 12:03:18 |
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03/03/19 20:00:13 |
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24/12/18 8:00:06 |
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I totally agree Mr Dome. Now, which spirit is your preference? Gin, isn't it? ;) --Pussy Galore
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Now there's a man who can conduct himself 05/06/18 20:00:52 |
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03/03/18 20:00:15 |
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06/12/17 8:24:25 |
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Next up, The New Sikhers with "I'd like to teach the world to Singh". 13/10/17 9:04:11 |
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"A large shuttlecock has landed in the garden!" 26/08/20 8:07:56 |
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"We've always dreamed of having a large family." 26/07/20 8:34:08 |
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"I'd love to hang out with you but I'm not a ceiling fan." 12/07/20 8:09:50 |
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Come on, won't you give it a whirl? --Willie Johnson
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24/01/20 20:56:19 |
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Played by Ronnie Barker. --Karyn Harrison
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Clothes Encounters of the Bird Kind 11/10/19 12:06:57 |
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They even work when it's reigning. 02/10/19 20:03:15 |
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He finally succumbed to organ failure. 15/08/19 21:21:14 |
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04/08/19 8:14:32 |
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07/05/19 20:00:44 |
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"I'm really impressed with your manhood!" 23/04/19 20:16:14 |
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26/02/19 12:12:56 |
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The Post Office launch new envelope sealing service. 27/12/18 12:01:00 |
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Tony Blair's lovingly carved pumpkin of Cherie. 01/11/18 8:04:28 |
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Bit harsh on the pumpkin --Mr Dome
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17/10/18 8:09:43 |
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11/03/18 21:09:00 |
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Had to give this an extra vote, really simple and to the point.Love it. --John Glover
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21/02/18 20:05:34 |
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25/01/18 12:00:09 |
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11/11/17 8:00:35 |
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11/08/17 20:00:11 |
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15/04/17 20:01:31 |
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I really love this one! It fits the photo like a glove!!! --Greg Curtis
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Lollipop Men during the WW2 Blackout. 24/03/17 8:04:44 |
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12/02/17 8:30:37 |
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11/01/17 12:36:00 |
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Very good :) ! --Nathan Davies
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01/01/17 20:37:20 |
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07/12/16 20:00:15 |
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"Personally I'd prefer a donor kebab". 05/11/16 8:03:01 |
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I love Shish and Donna! --Andrea Hickling
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Jane's diet hadn't been going too well, but she was about to turn a corner 06/10/16 12:10:33 |
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Few can forget Prince Philip's first driving lesson. Fri 12:57:02 |
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Patient: "Doc, I'm in pain." 12/10/20 20:01:15 |
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It was a shame for Dave but unfortunately her lips were sealed. 23/09/20 12:14:19 |
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"Well you told me to clean up my act" 07/08/20 20:09:32 |
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11/07/20 20:05:13 |
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09/07/20 8:13:29 |
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22/06/20 20:19:52 |
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14/06/20 8:03:15 |
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Fancy Dressage: 16/05/20 20:17:01 |
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12/04/20 20:07:07 |
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21/02/20 8:18:58 |
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Or UK's best shoplifter if he gets away with it. --Willie Johnson
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One previous owner: Fred Flintstone 02/12/19 8:08:34 |
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Fans of Little Red Riding Hood are relieved that the Wolf is now doing porridge. 15/11/19 8:00:52 |
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04/05/19 12:44:22 |
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Conveniently situated near the tea junction. 05/03/19 9:00:18 |
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He obviously has nothing much to declare. 04/03/19 20:02:09 |
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"Call me old fashioned, but I'd like a bit of dressing on it." 17/02/19 12:22:26 |
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27/01/19 20:00:08 |
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05/11/18 20:06:43 |
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This is the caption, I wish I wrote. --Scrappy Doo
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I bet she'll be getting her oats tonight. 26/09/18 20:00:21 |
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25/09/18 12:02:44 |
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"Oh dear, looks like we've got another jumper." 20/09/18 20:45:50 |
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Hulk Hogan couldn't figure out who had stolen his shopping bags. 13/09/18 12:16:31 |
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"Can Johnny come out to plague?" 25/08/18 20:11:40 |
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Jethro continues to be stalked by a rare albino flamingo. 13/07/18 12:59:24 |
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13/11/17 20:02:14 |
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01/11/17 8:11:36 |
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30/09/17 12:00:11 |
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I agree, it's rectal my essays. 05/07/17 20:02:43 |
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He's not been the same since the split 25/01/17 20:00:29 |
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22/01/17 12:17:23 |
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22/01/17 9:06:32 |
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The Penis Enlargement Clinic is temporarily closed due to a nasty bug. 12/01/17 12:31:12 |
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I'd like to buy the teddy, if it's not two deer. 11/12/16 20:02:11 |
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nice --sandeep chahal
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14/09/20 8:16:00 |
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Main St, Pasadena --Dave Bryan
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Pregnancy can easily be avoided by stitching repelling magnets into your underwear. 12/09/20 8:01:06 |
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His wife was arrested and is now doing porridge. 09/09/20 20:12:29 |
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06/08/20 12:26:17 |
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"Why have you got no bonnet?" 30/07/20 10:43:06 |
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An air cooled engine. --Willie Johnson
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19/06/20 12:18:34 |
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"Lord knows I've used plenty of fish to lure and catch one. I suppose they like it properly prepared, cooked and served." --Willie Johnson
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Thieves are stealing at least 5 a day. 14/06/20 13:07:09 |
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He's got eating down to a fine art. 20/05/20 20:16:32 |
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Yep he's definitely on a seefood diet. --Woofer 6
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There's a lot of nasty Bugs going around. 07/05/20 8:17:38 |
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Perhaps a nod to 8:09:46 --Stephen Bean
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"I've got wringing in my ears." 04/05/20 12:02:43 |
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Unfortunately I'm still in the outskirts. 16/04/20 20:20:42 |
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16/04/20 12:00:09 |
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She looks surprisingly jovial for someone who's just had an onion shoved up their arse. 02/04/20 20:00:07 |
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29/03/20 10:23:01 |
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Police advise against tackling cat burglars. 19/03/20 20:38:57 |
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The only thing she razes is some eyebrows. 07/03/20 12:06:29 |
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Proof that cats make shit lifeguards. 07/01/20 20:06:51 |
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Brian suddenly wanted to get off. 01/01/20 20:21:09 |
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Brian got off. Then he exited the bus. --Willie Johnson
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I’m in two minds whether to believe this. 14/11/19 12:01:22 |
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Not the first time a pussy has yearned for a longer tongue. 06/11/19 12:59:06 |
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Little Red Riding Hood accused of inciting hatred. 09/10/19 12:03:44 |
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🎵Hey there Little Red Riding Hood, you sure are looking good,You're everything that a big bad wolf would want.🎵(*By Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs) --Willie Johnson
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"The changing guards at Buckingham Palace" 26/08/19 12:00:13 |
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It's so awkward when someone shows up wearing the same exact outfit. --Scrijjy Doo
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🎵 We had joy, we had fun, we had four seasons in the sun 23/08/19 12:03:35 |
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My horse says this every time I drop by and say "Guess what's for dinner?" 18/07/19 20:05:17 |
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Viagra - now available for electric eels 10/07/19 12:08:38 |
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27/06/19 20:04:43 |
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These photos can be hard to see when they're just thumbnails. 19/03/19 12:01:32 |
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Unfortunately he keeps sniffing other camels' toes. 27/01/19 12:00:46 |
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Buying 10 bottles was probably a little rash. 19/01/19 12:01:13 |
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Where is this place? I'll have to goggle it. 09/01/19 20:07:28 |
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I prefer holidaying in Whales. 15/12/18 12:16:23 |
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The Proclaimers announce their long lost brother is growing on them. 12/09/18 20:11:38 |
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27/06/18 20:40:58 |
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Wait till she sees Nelson's Column. 15/05/18 12:25:40 |
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27/03/18 20:56:41 |
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"I'm afraid we can't accept this passport photograph. There are other people in the background." 05/02/18 20:22:22 |
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04/02/18 20:03:32 |
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03/02/18 20:04:49 |
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"Someone's stealing the cup!" 10/01/18 20:06:03 |
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09/01/18 20:01:44 |
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These must be in the running for a mermaid's most useless Christmas present. 20/11/17 12:04:44 |
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Friends with Disability Benefits 26/10/17 20:17:22 |
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more captions
So double pandemics don't count?
9:35am
comment on caption:
She could show a little more gratitude. Dave took his girlfriend out for a bite every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday throughout August during every single pandemic. [Vanessa the Guesser]
Main St, Pasadena
8:33am
comment on caption:
Lidl old lady. [Vanessa the Guesser]
Only five more pounds to lose.
(Apologies to anyone who's triggered by references to anorexia.)
10:10pm
comment on caption:
Very Thin Lizzy [Vanessa the Guesser]
Orang is the new black (*see next picture*)
10:00am
comment on caption:
Orange Lives Matter [Vanessa the Guesser]
Not sure if I need to give you a nod. I didn't notice your caption until just now (author of Scare Bear)
12:28pm
comment on caption:
Unfortunately Dave had to put his confused pet into a Care Bear home. [Vanessa the Guesser]
Thanks anon, but I think your caption is different from mine.
12:32pm
comment on caption:
Unfortunately Dave had to put his confused pet into a Care Bear home. [Vanessa the Guesser]
And then they got the lift.
8:37pm
comment on caption:
Did you hear about the pair of tits who walked into a bra? [Vanessa the Guesser]
Brilliant
8:54pm
comment on caption:
Britain's tallest lion not impressed with the maze at Hampton Court. [Vanessa the Guesser]
Nicely put.
11:42pm
comment on caption:
Birds, pussies and cigars - The Clinton Years [Vanessa the Guesser]
wE haVe aNon. WE sEnd yOU aNOn'S tyPeWriTer 2 shOw yoU hOw SERIous wE aRe. dON't cONtacT tHe rOZZers. wE wANt 4 mILLIon IN uNmarKED bIlls. WE wiLL coNTAct yoU wITh fUTure INSTrucTIONs
Me received this this morning. No wonder it was so difficult to find Anon. Anon's not really been kidnapped, Me bets that Anon's pretending again because it's the start of the month and Methinks this is a sneaky way for Anon to pay off the bills. Me doesn't even know why they'd address the ransom note to Me, do they think that Me is some type of sucker? - Me wonders if the next letter Me receives will be from Anon claiming to be a Nigerian prince...
9:40am
comment on caption:
Anon upgrades from cutting out letters from newspapers. [Vanessa the Guesser]