| This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 6 | 18 | #3 | 44 | 116 | #6 | 5147 | 8938 | #16 |
| Comments | 1 | 101 | 121 | #28 | |||||
| Forum Posts | 1 | 4 | |||||||
Vanessa the Guesser
signed up: 3 years, 1 month ago
profile viewed: 2 time(s) this week
caption quota: 56
votes given since joining: 3,512
super vote quota: 71
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captions
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£50 He's in for a shock. There's a conductor on board today. 27/04/19 12:09:49 |
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I feel lucky to have won as I was up against some brilliant high scoring captions this month. Thank you for the votes, supervotes and kind comments! --Vanessa the Guesser
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£50  11/02/19 12:01:55 |
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Thank you for the votes and kind messages, they are much appreciated. Hope you all have a great weekend! --Vanessa the Guesser
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£50  20/09/18 8:05:14 |
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I'm so excited to win! Thanks for the votes and comments. --Vanessa the Guesser
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11/07/19 8:18:11 |
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30/04/19 12:21:58 |
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20/06/19 20:01:49 |
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Some of us still love a hairy Regina. 04/05/19 20:15:39 |
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24/04/19 20:00:24 |
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You can usually spot penguins by their peculiar gates. 02/02/18 9:11:01 |
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28/12/18 12:00:41 |
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When you need to look fetching. 05/10/18 13:36:36 |
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George is really coming out of his shell. 02/07/18 20:00:28 |
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02/02/18 12:30:31 |
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10/04/17 12:30:43 |
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I sent all my kids to boarding school. 25/02/17 12:00:14 |
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Best caption for some time in my 'umble opinionG --Gf j
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It's pointless Richard Osman and Alexander Armstrong trying to hide on holiday. 10/01/17 8:21:51 |
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My first laugh out loud moment of the day. Thanks! :D --Pussy Galore
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Wed 8:00:32 |
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21/08/19 8:00:10 |
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17/07/19 8:00:07 |
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"My wife has a matching beaver." 18/03/19 12:10:10 |
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13/10/18 12:00:11 |
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"By the way, I don't share needles." 15/08/18 12:03:27 |
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14/08/18 20:11:45 |
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She won't stay unseeded for long. 01/08/18 20:13:06 |
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We need to be careful. There's a guy over there with one stone. 25/03/17 8:01:59 |
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30/01/17 12:22:18 |
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31/12/16 20:00:29 |
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You could end up with a Nazi injury. 06/09/19 8:01:13 |
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15/08/19 20:16:33 |
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My girlfriend's not interested insects. 14/06/19 8:03:09 |
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What about your ant? --stone face
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"Does my butt look big in this?" 01/06/19 20:46:52 |
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"This food's a bit too rich for me." 24/03/19 12:10:12 |
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Don't mock big-breasted women. They need all the support they can get. 19/03/19 20:00:29 |
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You did it! Nice caption. --Greg Curtis
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19/03/19 8:00:06 |
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31/01/19 20:00:13 |
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"There's no way I'm kissing his ring." 12/01/19 20:31:12 |
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"There's a faulty gene in my family. Most of the women are carriers." 15/10/18 8:01:59 |
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22/09/18 8:00:10 |
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24/08/18 8:00:28 |
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24/07/18 20:04:41 |
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Recently re-named in honour of the late call girl Jenny Taylor. --Karyn Harrison
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22/06/18 12:57:38 |
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I'd avoid these like the plague. 11/11/17 8:02:58 |
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I've tried, but he's more interested in the birds than the bees. 21/08/17 12:03:53 |
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Thank goodness it's not a Picasso. 21/02/17 14:03:54 |
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my caption to your caption....:) --avijit kelkar
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15/11/16 20:00:41 |
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The bark was worse than their bite 01/10/16 12:00:52 |
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05/10/19 14:14:26 |
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10/08/19 12:01:02 |
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31/05/19 12:21:04 |
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"It covers up my unsightly mole." 18/03/19 12:03:18 |
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03/03/19 20:00:13 |
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24/12/18 8:00:06 |
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I totally agree Mr Dome. Now, which spirit is your preference? Gin, isn't it? ;) --Pussy Galore
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Now there's a man who can conduct himself 05/06/18 20:00:52 |
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03/03/18 20:00:15 |
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06/12/17 8:24:25 |
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Next up, The New Sikhers with "I'd like to teach the world to Singh". 13/10/17 9:04:11 |
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They even work when it's reigning. 02/10/19 20:03:15 |
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He finally succumbed to organ failure. 15/08/19 21:21:14 |
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04/08/19 8:14:32 |
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07/05/19 20:00:44 |
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"I'm really impressed with your manhood!" 23/04/19 20:16:14 |
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26/02/19 12:12:56 |
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The Post Office launch new envelope sealing service. 27/12/18 12:01:00 |
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Tony Blair's lovingly carved pumpkin of Cherie. 01/11/18 8:04:28 |
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Bit harsh on the pumpkin --Mr Dome
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17/10/18 8:09:43 |
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11/03/18 21:09:00 |
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Had to give this an extra vote, really simple and to the point.Love it. --John Glover
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21/02/18 20:05:34 |
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25/01/18 12:00:09 |
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11/11/17 8:00:35 |
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11/08/17 20:00:11 |
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15/04/17 20:01:31 |
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I really love this one! It fits the photo like a glove!!! --Greg Curtis
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Lollipop Men during the WW2 Blackout. 24/03/17 8:04:44 |
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12/02/17 8:30:37 |
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11/01/17 12:36:00 |
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Very good :) ! --Nathan Davies
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01/01/17 20:37:20 |
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07/12/16 20:00:15 |
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"Personally I'd prefer a donor kebab". 05/11/16 8:03:01 |
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I love Shish and Donna! --Andrea Hickling
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Jane's diet hadn't been going too well, but she was about to turn a corner 06/10/16 12:10:33 |
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04/05/19 12:44:22 |
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Conveniently situated near the tea junction. 05/03/19 9:00:18 |
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He obviously has nothing much to declare. 04/03/19 20:02:09 |
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"Call me old fashioned, but I'd like a bit of dressing on it." 17/02/19 12:22:26 |
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27/01/19 20:00:08 |
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05/11/18 20:06:43 |
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This is the caption, I wish I wrote. --Scrappy Doo
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I bet she'll be getting her oats tonight. 26/09/18 20:00:21 |
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25/09/18 12:02:44 |
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"Oh dear, looks like we've got another jumper." 20/09/18 20:45:50 |
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Hulk Hogan couldn't figure out who had stolen his shopping bags. 13/09/18 12:16:31 |
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"Can Johnny come out to plague?" 25/08/18 20:11:40 |
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Jethro continues to be stalked by a rare albino flamingo. 13/07/18 12:59:24 |
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13/11/17 20:02:14 |
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01/11/17 8:11:36 |
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30/09/17 12:00:11 |
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I agree, it's rectal my essays. 05/07/17 20:02:43 |
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He's not been the same since the split 25/01/17 20:00:29 |
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22/01/17 12:17:23 |
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22/01/17 9:06:32 |
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The Penis Enlargement Clinic is temporarily closed due to a nasty bug. 12/01/17 12:31:12 |
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I'd like to buy the teddy, if it's not two deer. 11/12/16 20:02:11 |
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nice --sandeep chahal
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Little Red Riding Hood accused of inciting hatred. Wed 12:03:44 |
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🎵Hey there Little Red Riding Hood, you sure are looking good,You're everything that a big bad wolf would want.🎵(*By Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs) --Willie Johnson
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"The changing guards at Buckingham Palace" 26/08/19 12:00:13 |
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It's so awkward when someone shows up wearing the same exact outfit. --Scrijjy Doo
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🎵 We had joy, we had fun, we had four seasons in the sun 23/08/19 12:03:35 |
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My horse says this every time I drop by and say "Guess what's for dinner?" 18/07/19 20:05:17 |
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Viagra - now available for electric eels 10/07/19 12:08:38 |
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27/06/19 20:04:43 |
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These photos can be hard to see when they're just thumbnails. 19/03/19 12:01:32 |
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Unfortunately he keeps sniffing other camels' toes. 27/01/19 12:00:46 |
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Buying 10 bottles was probably a little rash. 19/01/19 12:01:13 |
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Where is this place? I'll have to goggle it. 09/01/19 20:07:28 |
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I prefer holidaying in Whales. 15/12/18 12:16:23 |
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The Proclaimers announce their long lost brother is growing on them. 12/09/18 20:11:38 |
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27/06/18 20:40:58 |
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Wait till she sees Nelson's Column. 15/05/18 12:25:40 |
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27/03/18 20:56:41 |
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"I'm afraid we can't accept this passport photograph. There are other people in the background." 05/02/18 20:22:22 |
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04/02/18 20:03:32 |
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03/02/18 20:04:49 |
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"Someone's stealing the cup!" 10/01/18 20:06:03 |
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09/01/18 20:01:44 |
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These must be in the running for a mermaid's most useless Christmas present. 20/11/17 12:04:44 |
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Friends with Disability Benefits 26/10/17 20:17:22 |
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She just needs a nice pair of loafers. 12/08/17 12:03:04 |
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10/08/17 20:00:09 |
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She was hiding two more scary ghoulies. 08/06/17 20:00:30 |
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07/06/17 13:02:00 |
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That's just dandy. --John Glover
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The boys played at Humpty's residence in the summer before he came back for the fall. 20/05/17 20:30:07 |
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Sometimes cox size does matter. 05/04/17 20:00:52 |
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🎵 I wish it could be Xmas every day 🎶 14/03/17 8:02:17 |
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He was soon singing like a canary. 05/02/17 8:05:54 |
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Apologies Vanessa. It was a knee jerk reaction as the same caption sprang to my mind prior to seeing your entry.I withdraw any criticism & will try to be more sensitive in future. --Polymorph .
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28/01/17 20:00:56 |
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06/11/16 20:01:00 |
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30/09/16 8:03:08 |
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These Spot the Ball competitions are getting easier. Tue 12:07:48 |
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When you see your boss swim past but you've called in sick.. 25/08/19 8:32:52 |
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"I think it's about time we made tracks." 04/08/19 20:39:32 |
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Poor woman. She's going through the change. 07/07/19 20:04:48 |
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"Sorry mate, but I've just heard the future's Orange." 25/06/19 8:09:45 |
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21/06/19 8:01:11 |
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25/05/19 12:00:47 |
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Nigel decided there and then to pursue a career in Health & Safety. 22/05/19 8:28:28 |
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18/02/19 8:02:18 |
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♪ ... jumpsuit, cover me ♪ That's going to be stuck in my head now. --James Lennox
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13/02/19 20:00:14 |
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31/01/19 20:26:29 |
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My cat spends all day watching Neighbours. 14/01/19 12:13:27 |
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Warren hates Christmas. As the Snowman just found out. 06/12/18 12:02:38 |
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10/11/18 20:09:09 |
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It's 2018 and Little Miss Muffet has grown a pair. 01/11/18 12:01:17 |
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She decided to tuffet out. --Pussy Galore
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♫ There's a Pole in my bucket.. ♫ 30/09/18 12:54:20 |
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"Mum, will you leave the landing light on tonight?" 06/09/18 21:26:43 |
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"I'll give you a wring tomorrow." 04/08/18 8:34:26 |
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Close Encounters of the Furred Kind 03/07/18 12:02:54 |
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Honey? Yep, it shrunk the kids. 09/05/18 20:40:42 |
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Investigations continue after Humpty files an application with Claims Direct. 31/03/18 8:47:21 |
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17/03/18 8:17:37 |
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Ooh, I just love a bit of that Car Door ice cream 09/02/18 9:04:38 |
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James tried to cheer up his running partner. His wife had left him a Dijon letter. 25/01/18 8:30:37 |
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24/01/18 12:06:22 |
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Every year without fail Colin made a dick of himself 18/12/17 13:41:13 |
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21/11/17 8:03:31 |
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28/10/17 12:06:43 |
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25/09/17 8:07:41 |
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Ben was on the lookout for Aldi single ladies, Aldi single ladies 07/09/17 20:25:41 |
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09/05/17 20:01:51 |
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Looks like the work of Salvador Dahlia 09/05/17 20:01:43 |
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19/04/17 12:22:24 |
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Warwick Davis was opening a can of beans for his lunch. 17/03/17 13:34:04 |
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22/02/17 20:01:39 |
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Derek wondered if he had time for a Kwik Sh*t before starting work 18/01/17 8:13:55 |
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If he does, watch where you 'tread'. --Dan Nicholls
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11/01/17 20:01:52 |
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"Do you want any sprinkles down there, Warwick?" 06/01/17 12:20:05 |
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Hahahahaha --Mr Dome
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07/11/16 20:02:07 |
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14/09/16 20:02:12 |
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Tue 8:14:24 |
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28/09/19 20:01:24 |
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"So, how many weeks since you got laid?" 03/09/19 20:01:26 |
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Some people can't be trusted with crayons at any age. 16/07/19 8:04:07 |
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"I didn't bring the cliff hangers" 24/06/19 20:05:37 |
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I thought the speed limit would be 64? No pun nintended. 17/06/19 8:26:20 |
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You didn't Nintendo make a pun? --Willie Johnson
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27/02/19 12:00:06 |
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09/02/19 20:07:12 |
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Police have warned he could be dangerous and mustn't be a poached. 02/01/19 20:49:18 |
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21/10/18 12:00:33 |
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29/09/18 20:00:07 |
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20/09/18 12:32:55 |
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I overheard some of the chatter:"Nobody would consider that practical.""Cobblers." --Glad You Remember
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10/09/18 13:07:04 |
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06/09/18 8:20:59 |
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21/06/18 20:00:31 |
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You have to get up early in the morning to beat the German tramps. 09/06/18 12:19:33 |
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07/04/18 8:04:18 |
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28/02/18 9:25:07 |
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A nasty thrush infection can drive you wild. 01/02/18 20:35:48 |
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22/01/18 9:10:34 |
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17/12/17 20:00:28 |
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22/11/17 20:14:26 |
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The Scream was piercing - poor Edvard had forgotten his Munch box. 04/11/17 20:00:26 |
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How much is that moggy in the window? 11/10/17 8:03:46 |
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07/10/17 13:00:46 |
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04/10/17 8:09:49 |
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".. in morning sickness and in health" 20/09/17 12:28:53 |
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There's nothing in the papers these days. 17/08/17 8:00:41 |
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more captions
It must be Wong.
8:43am
comment on caption:
You know when urine the wrong. [Vanessa the Guesser]
I thought Putin's first name was Vlad.
4:16pm
comment on caption:
"Go on then, swallow" said Boris. [Vanessa the Guesser]
The dyslexic cafe owner?
1:56pm
comment on caption:
The café owner is now behind bras. [Vanessa the Guesser]
Small ones are even better.
7:35pm
comment on caption:
It's lovely to see big bloomers on a fat pig. [Vanessa the Guesser]
Don't be so scathing. I've made it As You Like It.
12:18pm
comment on caption:
Mocha Do About Nothing [Vanessa the Guesser]
Mocha ado about frothing?
10:04pm
comment on caption:
Mocha Do About Nothing [Vanessa the Guesser]
She's got it in spades.
3:21am
comment on caption:
Such a beautiful outfit. Just a shame she's got club feet. [Vanessa the Guesser]
Thank-you for your edit. Have a nice day sir / madam - Nod Police.
8:16pm
comment on caption:
"I've got a horrible taste on my tongue" [Vanessa the Guesser]
A cha Ming scene
11:51am
comment on caption:
The Great Wall of China [Vanessa the Guesser]
🎵Hey there Little Red Riding Hood, you sure are looking good,
You're everything that a big bad wolf would want.🎵
(*By Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs)
8:51am
comment on caption:
Little Red Riding Hood accused of inciting hatred. [Vanessa the Guesser]