| This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 4 | 8 | #7 | 40 | 120 | #2 | 4922 | 8444 | #16 |
| Comments | 99 | 119 | #26 | ||||||
| Forum Posts | 1 | 4 | |||||||
Vanessa the Guesser
signed up: 2 years, 12 months ago
profile viewed: 21 time(s) this week
caption quota: 54
votes given since joining: 3,361
super vote quota: 68
|
|
|
|
captions
 |
£50 He's in for a shock. There's a conductor on board today. 27/04/19 12:09:49 |
19 |
|
|
|
I feel lucky to have won as I was up against some brilliant high scoring captions this month. Thank you for the votes, supervotes and kind comments! --Vanessa the Guesser
|
||||
|
£50  11/02/19 12:01:55 |
21 |
|
||
|
Thank you for the votes and kind messages, they are much appreciated. Hope you all have a great weekend! --Vanessa the Guesser
|
||||
|
£50  20/09/18 8:05:14 |
16 |
|
||
|
I'm so excited to win! Thanks for the votes and comments. --Vanessa the Guesser
|
||||
 |
11/07/19 8:18:11 |
|
||
 |
30/04/19 12:21:58 |
|
||
 |
20/06/19 20:01:49 |
1 |
|
|
 |
Some of us still love a hairy Regina. 04/05/19 20:15:39 |
|
||
 |
24/04/19 20:00:24 |
|
||
 |
You can usually spot penguins by their peculiar gates. 02/02/18 9:11:01 |
|
||
 |
28/12/18 12:00:41 |
|
||
 |
When you need to look fetching. 05/10/18 13:36:36 |
|
||
 |
George is really coming out of his shell. 02/07/18 20:00:28 |
|
||
 |
02/02/18 12:30:31 |
|
||
 |
10/04/17 12:30:43 |
|
||
 |
I sent all my kids to boarding school. 25/02/17 12:00:14 |
1 |
|
|
|
Best caption for some time in my 'umble opinionG --Gf j
|
||||
 |
It's pointless Richard Osman and Alexander Armstrong trying to hide on holiday. 10/01/17 8:21:51 |
2 |
|
|
|
My first laugh out loud moment of the day. Thanks! :D --Pussy Galore
|
||||
 |
17/07/19 8:00:07 |
|
||
 |
"My wife has a matching beaver." 18/03/19 12:10:10 |
|
||
 |
13/10/18 12:00:11 |
|
||
 |
"By the way, I don't share needles." 15/08/18 12:03:27 |
|
||
 |
14/08/18 20:11:45 |
|
||
 |
She won't stay unseeded for long. 01/08/18 20:13:06 |
|
||
 |
We need to be careful. There's a guy over there with one stone. 25/03/17 8:01:59 |
1 |
|
|
 |
30/01/17 12:22:18 |
|
||
 |
31/12/16 20:00:29 |
|
||
 |
Thu 20:16:33 |
|
||
 |
My girlfriend's not interested insects. 14/06/19 8:03:09 |
4 |
|
|
|
What about your ant? --stone face
|
||||
 |
"Does my butt look big in this?" 01/06/19 20:46:52 |
|
||
 |
"This food's a bit too rich for me." 24/03/19 12:10:12 |
|
||
 |
Don't mock big-breasted women. They need all the support they can get. 19/03/19 20:00:29 |
1 |
|
|
|
You did it! Nice caption. --Greg Curtis
|
||||
 |
19/03/19 8:00:06 |
|
||
 |
31/01/19 20:00:13 |
|
||
 |
"There's no way I'm kissing his ring." 12/01/19 20:31:12 |
|
||
 |
"There's a faulty gene in my family. Most of the women are carriers." 15/10/18 8:01:59 |
|
||
 |
22/09/18 8:00:10 |
|
||
 |
24/08/18 8:00:28 |
|
||
 |
24/07/18 20:04:41 |
1 |
|
|
|
Recently re-named in honour of the late call girl Jenny Taylor. --Karyn Harrison
|
||||
 |
22/06/18 12:57:38 |
|
||
 |
I'd avoid these like the plague. 11/11/17 8:02:58 |
|
||
 |
I've tried, but he's more interested in the birds than the bees. 21/08/17 12:03:53 |
|
||
 |
Thank goodness it's not a Picasso. 21/02/17 14:03:54 |
1 |
|
|
|
my caption to your caption....:) --avijit kelkar
|
||||
 |
15/11/16 20:00:41 |
|
||
 |
The bark was worse than their bite 01/10/16 12:00:52 |
|
||
 |
10/08/19 12:01:02 |
|
||
 |
31/05/19 12:21:04 |
|
||
|
|
"It covers up my unsightly mole." 18/03/19 12:03:18 |
|
||
 |
03/03/19 20:00:13 |
|
||
 |
24/12/18 8:00:06 |
7 |
|
|
|
I totally agree Mr Dome. Now, which spirit is your preference? Gin, isn't it? ;) --Pussy Galore
|
||||
 |
Now there's a man who can conduct himself 05/06/18 20:00:52 |
|
||
 |
03/03/18 20:00:15 |
|
||
 |
06/12/17 8:24:25 |
|
||
 |
Next up, The New Sikhers with "I'd like to teach the world to Singh". 13/10/17 9:04:11 |
|
||
 |
04/08/19 8:14:32 |
1 |
|
|
 |
07/05/19 20:00:44 |
|
||
 |
"I'm really impressed with your manhood!" 23/04/19 20:16:14 |
|
||
 |
26/02/19 12:12:56 |
|
||
 |
The Post Office launch new envelope sealing service. 27/12/18 12:01:00 |
|
||
 |
Tony Blair's lovingly carved pumpkin of Cherie. 01/11/18 8:04:28 |
1 |
|
|
|
Bit harsh on the pumpkin --Mr Dome
|
||||
 |
17/10/18 8:09:43 |
|
||
 |
11/03/18 21:09:00 |
1 |
|
|
|
Had to give this an extra vote, really simple and to the point.Love it. --John Glover
|
||||
 |
21/02/18 20:05:34 |
|
||
 |
25/01/18 12:00:09 |
|
||
|
|
11/11/17 8:00:35 |
|
||
 |
11/08/17 20:00:11 |
|
||
 |
15/04/17 20:01:31 |
1 |
|
|
|
I really love this one! It fits the photo like a glove!!! --Greg Curtis
|
||||
 |
Lollipop Men during the WW2 Blackout. 24/03/17 8:04:44 |
|
||
 |
12/02/17 8:30:37 |
|
||
 |
11/01/17 12:36:00 |
2 |
|
|
|
Very good :) ! --Nathan Davies
|
||||
 |
01/01/17 20:37:20 |
|
||
 |
07/12/16 20:00:15 |
|
||
 |
"Personally I'd prefer a donor kebab". 05/11/16 8:03:01 |
4 |
|
|
|
I love Shish and Donna! --Andrea Hickling
|
||||
 |
Jane's diet hadn't been going too well, but she was about to turn a corner 06/10/16 12:10:33 |
|
||
 |
04/05/19 12:44:22 |
|
||
 |
Conveniently situated near the tea junction. 05/03/19 9:00:18 |
|
||
 |
He obviously has nothing much to declare. 04/03/19 20:02:09 |
|
||
 |
"Call me old fashioned, but I'd like a bit of dressing on it." 17/02/19 12:22:26 |
|
||
 |
27/01/19 20:00:08 |
|
||
 |
05/11/18 20:06:43 |
2 |
|
|
|
This is the caption, I wish I wrote. --Scrappy Doo
|
||||
 |
I bet she'll be getting her oats tonight. 26/09/18 20:00:21 |
|
||
 |
25/09/18 12:02:44 |
|
||
 |
"Oh dear, looks like we've got another jumper." 20/09/18 20:45:50 |
|
||
 |
Hulk Hogan couldn't figure out who had stolen his shopping bags. 13/09/18 12:16:31 |
|
||
 |
"Can Johnny come out to plague?" 25/08/18 20:11:40 |
|
||
 |
Jethro continues to be stalked by a rare albino flamingo. 13/07/18 12:59:24 |
|
||
 |
13/11/17 20:02:14 |
|
||
 |
01/11/17 8:11:36 |
|
||
 |
30/09/17 12:00:11 |
|
||
 |
I agree, it's rectal my essays. 05/07/17 20:02:43 |
|
||
 |
He's not been the same since the split 25/01/17 20:00:29 |
|
||
 |
22/01/17 12:17:23 |
|
||
 |
22/01/17 9:06:32 |
|
||
 |
The Penis Enlargement Clinic is temporarily closed due to a nasty bug. 12/01/17 12:31:12 |
|
||
 |
I'd like to buy the teddy, if it's not two deer. 11/12/16 20:02:11 |
1 |
|
|
|
nice --sandeep chahal
|
||||
 |
My horse says this every time I drop by and say "Guess what's for dinner?" 18/07/19 20:05:17 |
|
||
 |
Viagra - now available for electric eels 10/07/19 12:08:38 |
|
||
 |
27/06/19 20:04:43 |
|
||
 |
These photos can be hard to see when they're just thumbnails. 19/03/19 12:01:32 |
1 |
|
|
 |
Unfortunately he keeps sniffing other camels' toes. 27/01/19 12:00:46 |
|
||
 |
Buying 10 bottles was probably a little rash. 19/01/19 12:01:13 |
|
||
 |
Where is this place? I'll have to goggle it. 09/01/19 20:07:28 |
|
||
 |
I prefer holidaying in Whales. 15/12/18 12:16:23 |
|
||
 |
The Proclaimers announce their long lost brother is growing on them. 12/09/18 20:11:38 |
|
||
 |
27/06/18 20:40:58 |
|
||
 |
Wait till she sees Nelson's Column. 15/05/18 12:25:40 |
|
||
 |
27/03/18 20:56:41 |
|
||
 |
"I'm afraid we can't accept this passport photograph. There are other people in the background." 05/02/18 20:22:22 |
|
||
 |
04/02/18 20:03:32 |
|
||
 |
03/02/18 20:04:49 |
|
||
 |
"Someone's stealing the cup!" 10/01/18 20:06:03 |
1 |
|
|
 |
09/01/18 20:01:44 |
|
||
 |
These must be in the running for a mermaid's most useless Christmas present. 20/11/17 12:04:44 |
|
||
 |
Friends with Disability Benefits 26/10/17 20:17:22 |
|
||
 |
She just needs a nice pair of loafers. 12/08/17 12:03:04 |
|
||
 |
10/08/17 20:00:09 |
|
||
 |
She was hiding two more scary ghoulies. 08/06/17 20:00:30 |
|
||
 |
07/06/17 13:02:00 |
1 |
|
|
|
That's just dandy. --John Glover
|
||||
 |
The boys played at Humpty's residence in the summer before he came back for the fall. 20/05/17 20:30:07 |
|
||
 |
Sometimes cox size does matter. 05/04/17 20:00:52 |
1 |
|
|
 |
🎵 I wish it could be Xmas every day 🎶 14/03/17 8:02:17 |
|
||
 |
He was soon singing like a canary. 05/02/17 8:05:54 |
5 |
|
|
|
Apologies Vanessa. It was a knee jerk reaction as the same caption sprang to my mind prior to seeing your entry.I withdraw any criticism & will try to be more sensitive in future. --Polymorph .
|
||||
 |
28/01/17 20:00:56 |
|
||
 |
06/11/16 20:01:00 |
|
||
 |
30/09/16 8:03:08 |
|
||
 |
"I think it's about time we made tracks." 04/08/19 20:39:32 |
|
||
 |
Poor woman. She's going through the change. 07/07/19 20:04:48 |
|
||
 |
"Sorry mate, but I've just heard the future's Orange." 25/06/19 8:09:45 |
|
||
 |
21/06/19 8:01:11 |
|
||
 |
25/05/19 12:00:47 |
|
||
 |
Nigel decided there and then to pursue a career in Health & Safety. 22/05/19 8:28:28 |
|
||
 |
18/02/19 8:02:18 |
1 |
|
|
|
♪ ... jumpsuit, cover me ♪ That's going to be stuck in my head now. --James Lennox
|
||||
 |
13/02/19 20:00:14 |
|
||
|
|
31/01/19 20:26:29 |
|
||
 |
My cat spends all day watching Neighbours. 14/01/19 12:13:27 |
|
||
 |
Warren hates Christmas. As the Snowman just found out. 06/12/18 12:02:38 |
|
||
 |
10/11/18 20:09:09 |
|
||
 |
It's 2018 and Little Miss Muffet has grown a pair. 01/11/18 12:01:17 |
1 |
|
|
|
She decided to tuffet out. --Pussy Galore
|
||||
 |
♫ There's a Pole in my bucket.. ♫ 30/09/18 12:54:20 |
|
||
 |
"Mum, will you leave the landing light on tonight?" 06/09/18 21:26:43 |
|
||
 |
"I'll give you a wring tomorrow." 04/08/18 8:34:26 |
|
||
 |
Close Encounters of the Furred Kind 03/07/18 12:02:54 |
|
||
 |
Honey? Yep, it shrunk the kids. 09/05/18 20:40:42 |
|
||
 |
Investigations continue after Humpty files an application with Claims Direct. 31/03/18 8:47:21 |
|
||
 |
17/03/18 8:17:37 |
|
||
 |
Ooh, I just love a bit of that Car Door ice cream 09/02/18 9:04:38 |
|
||
 |
James tried to cheer up his running partner. His wife had left him a Dijon letter. 25/01/18 8:30:37 |
|
||
 |
24/01/18 12:06:22 |
|
||
 |
Every year without fail Colin made a dick of himself 18/12/17 13:41:13 |
|
||
 |
21/11/17 8:03:31 |
|
||
 |
28/10/17 12:06:43 |
|
||
 |
25/09/17 8:07:41 |
|
||
 |
Ben was on the lookout for Aldi single ladies, Aldi single ladies 07/09/17 20:25:41 |
|
||
 |
09/05/17 20:01:51 |
|
||
|
|
Looks like the work of Salvador Dahlia 09/05/17 20:01:43 |
|
||
 |
19/04/17 12:22:24 |
|
||
 |
Warwick Davis was opening a can of beans for his lunch. 17/03/17 13:34:04 |
|
||
 |
22/02/17 20:01:39 |
|
||
 |
Derek wondered if he had time for a Kwik Sh*t before starting work 18/01/17 8:13:55 |
3 |
|
|
|
If he does, watch where you 'tread'. --Dan Nicholls
|
||||
 |
11/01/17 20:01:52 |
|
||
 |
"Do you want any sprinkles down there, Warwick?" 06/01/17 12:20:05 |
1 |
|
|
|
Hahahahaha --Mr Dome
|
||||
 |
07/11/16 20:02:07 |
|
||
 |
14/09/16 20:02:12 |
|
||
 |
Some people can't be trusted with crayons at any age. 16/07/19 8:04:07 |
|
||
 |
"I didn't bring the cliff hangers" 24/06/19 20:05:37 |
|
||
 |
I thought the speed limit would be 64? No pun nintended. 17/06/19 8:26:20 |
1 |
|
|
|
You didn't Nintendo make a pun? --Willie Johnson
|
||||
 |
27/02/19 12:00:06 |
|
||
 |
09/02/19 20:07:12 |
|
||
 |
Police have warned he could be dangerous and mustn't be a poached. 02/01/19 20:49:18 |
|
||
 |
21/10/18 12:00:33 |
|
||
 |
29/09/18 20:00:07 |
|
||
 |
20/09/18 12:32:55 |
1 |
|
|
|
I overheard some of the chatter:"Nobody would consider that practical.""Cobblers." --Glad You Remember
|
||||
 |
10/09/18 13:07:04 |
|
||
 |
06/09/18 8:20:59 |
|
||
 |
21/06/18 20:00:31 |
|
||
 |
You have to get up early in the morning to beat the German tramps. 09/06/18 12:19:33 |
|
||
 |
07/04/18 8:04:18 |
|
||
 |
28/02/18 9:25:07 |
|
||
 |
A nasty thrush infection can drive you wild. 01/02/18 20:35:48 |
|
||
 |
22/01/18 9:10:34 |
|
||
 |
17/12/17 20:00:28 |
|
||
 |
22/11/17 20:14:26 |
|
||
 |
The Scream was piercing - poor Edvard had forgotten his Munch box. 04/11/17 20:00:26 |
1 |
|
|
 |
How much is that moggy in the window? 11/10/17 8:03:46 |
|
||
 |
07/10/17 13:00:46 |
|
||
 |
04/10/17 8:09:49 |
|
||
 |
".. in morning sickness and in health" 20/09/17 12:28:53 |
|
||
 |
There's nothing in the papers these days. 17/08/17 8:00:41 |
|
||
 |
16/08/17 20:40:04 |
|
||
 |
01/05/17 8:00:52 |
|
||
 |
Oh dear, I've just trodden on two very elderly Rastafarian dwarfs. 18/04/17 20:04:46 |
1 |
|
|
|
A vote for pure randomness! :) --Mr Dome
|
||||
 |
After eating a lovely mushroom omelette Mary and Tammy were unable to escape from the lava lamp. 08/03/17 9:17:35 |
|
||
 |
Geoff had been experiencing disturbing splashbacks 27/02/17 22:13:09 |
|
||
 |
03/02/17 8:09:25 |
|
||
 |
27/01/17 13:06:03 |
|
||
 |
14/01/17 8:07:54 |
|
||
 |
"What the Dickens is going on here?" 06/01/17 8:01:58 |
|
||
 |
25/12/16 13:04:09 |
|
||
 |
18/11/16 12:09:44 |
|
||
 |
22/09/16 8:02:11 |
|
||
 |
12/09/16 8:07:25 |
|
||
 |
He'd fallen off the bin wagon again. 07/09/16 8:00:50 |
|
||
more captions
He just won his first percussion cap
8:32pm
comment on caption:
The goalie's suffering from percussion. [Vanessa the Guesser]
Very good. Can't understand why you have nil points.
5:21pm
comment on caption:
A domestic cat. [Vanessa the Guesser]
I mistakenly thought it was The Wolf's living room.
12:04pm
comment on caption:
Dave Bryan's cat spotted hobnobbing with other captioneers. [Vanessa the Guesser]
And that must be Ash-ley Coal at the end of her tongs?
10:11pm
comment on caption:
Cheryl Coal [Vanessa the Guesser]
Wave to go.
9:44am
comment on caption:
Wave goodbye [Vanessa the Guesser]
Newts of the World
8:09pm
comment on caption:
Reed all about it. [Vanessa the Guesser]
I've heard they're great in the sack.
8:41am
comment on caption:
I love potatoes with those come to bed eyes [Vanessa the Guesser]
I thought it was an axe?
12:36pm
comment on caption:
It's either Viagra or frozen stiff. Take your pick. [Vanessa the Guesser]
Thanks for those comforting words.
8:41am
comment on caption:
You're never too old for a good shag [Vanessa the Guesser]
Eyes see what you did there.
Iris almost thinking the same thing.
I wonder if any of those eyes have Arach-lids.
Must be a good tutor, with four pupils.
10:10am
comment on caption:
I was expecting more puns. The cornea, the better. [Vanessa the Guesser]