| This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 48 | 141 | #1 | 68 | 234 | #1 | 3736 | 7770 | #19 |
| Comments | 2 | 2 | #3 | 12 | 7 | #9 | 376 | 211 | #23 |
| Forum Posts | 2 | 6 | 188 | ||||||
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Stephen Bean
signed up: 1 year, 6 months ago
profile viewed: 60 time(s) this week
caption quota: 68
votes given since joining: 2,356
super vote quota: 39
I love seeing captions that make me smile and laugh.
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captions
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£50 26/02/20 12:00:54 |
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I'd already decided if I won I wanted to use the money to help caption.me. I've asked Chris if he might consider putting my winnings towards a second prize of £25 for Feb, and a second prize of £25 for March, and otherwise put it towards the c... --Stephen Bean
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07/10/18 12:00:09 |
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04/10/19 20:02:43 |
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Sun 8:25:13 |
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"Hey guys, 6 feet!" --Scrijjy Doo
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01/01/20 8:09:43 |
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Mythical beast world championship result: 02/07/19 12:00:14 |
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Lol --sandeep chahal
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18/03/19 8:00:04 |
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28/03/20 12:00:05 |
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Scientists are close to understanding why women live longer than men. 04/03/20 12:00:05 |
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One of the most difficult jobs in the world is to give a sick whale a suppository. 16/01/20 20:16:12 |
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Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle. 04/04/19 8:26:24 |
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30/03/20 8:00:12 |
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18/10/19 20:00:10 |
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Mmmm, bishop takes king.... Is this cathedral in Prague? Then the joke is Czech, mate. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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NASA unveil the new rover for their next moon landing. 22/03/19 12:29:53 |
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Right so you could be my Auntie Edna or my Uncle Harold or even Chirpy my pet budgie .. --stone face
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Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says she's 'fine'. 14/03/19 20:05:54 |
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08/01/19 12:00:04 |
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30/03/20 8:00:05 |
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"Can you stop taking photos and lift my bicycle down for me please love?" 28/03/20 12:24:49 |
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I've got to hand it to you. --Scrijjy Doo
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When the neighbour walks by and the car's full of dog food and toilet rolls. 24/03/20 8:02:54 |
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18/03/20 13:27:19 |
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Don't do it Guy. If you go near her you'll need all the hand sanitiser you can get. --James Lennox
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Labrador for sale: in mint condition. 16/03/20 20:00:12 |
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19/11/19 8:00:03 |
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16/09/19 8:00:04 |
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04/09/19 8:09:03 |
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Always slice a cucumber before feeding to your tortoise. 23/11/18 21:52:32 |
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There’s big bucks in the fashion industry. 30/10/18 8:08:30 |
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Fay Wray had her favourite part of King Kong stuffed and mounted. 28/01/20 20:01:14 |
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18/01/20 8:00:03 |
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Young people don't respect their elders anymore. 27/09/19 9:19:02 |
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23/07/19 20:00:14 |
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16/07/19 12:00:04 |
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10/07/19 8:09:18 |
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Jesus figured selling selfies on ebay would make him a prophet. 07/05/19 12:02:50 |
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03/05/19 12:02:24 |
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07/02/19 20:00:05 |
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12/01/19 12:00:04 |
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30/03/20 8:02:36 |
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Nice. --Scrijjy Doo
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"Remember, when the waiter appears, you jump in my soup. As soon as he's gone I'll pull you out." 24/02/20 8:00:05 |
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08/12/19 12:00:04 |
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25/09/19 8:20:33 |
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Til death do us-- --Scrijjy Doo
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"I think my sex addiction's cured." 15/09/19 12:23:30 |
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30/07/19 8:00:32 |
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31/05/19 12:00:16 |
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18/05/19 8:00:03 |
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16/05/19 8:00:03 |
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Glad it's not just me that struggles with a Toblerone. 14/04/19 12:14:01 |
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That's cool well done - I love toblerone wish I could find one that big --BAD BOY DENNIS *
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28/11/18 12:01:09 |
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03/10/18 20:00:29 |
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"F*ck off Daddy her boobs are mine." 20/03/20 8:00:16 |
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"Love, you're not you when you're hungry." 05/03/20 20:00:46 |
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"When I practice golf indoors I always use a tee towel." 26/02/20 20:00:13 |
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I used to use tee towels too, until I got a hole in one --Mark England
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"Honest Noah, they'll be fine if you just leave them in the sea." 13/02/20 8:02:04 |
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Star Wars isn't for everyone's pallet. 07/01/20 12:14:58 |
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Shunned by the video game industry, Pac-Man spends his days finding customers for the local brothel. 22/10/19 12:06:44 |
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17/10/19 12:00:11 |
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28/08/19 20:09:03 |
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12/06/19 8:00:04 |
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13/05/19 20:00:03 |
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12/05/19 20:00:05 |
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26/04/19 8:00:15 |
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16/04/19 12:00:05 |
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20/03/19 12:00:06 |
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Yeah couldn't agree more James, great caption. --The Wolf
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25/02/19 8:00:26 |
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08/01/19 8:00:05 |
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When a caption appears after a few seconds it will probably have been prepared in advance rather than be the result of ''speed and cleverness''. The lucky captioneer will simply be the one who downloads it the quickest. As Karyn points out, it... --Dave Bryan
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26/12/18 20:00:06 |
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"Please officer, can you let me off? It’s my birthday tomorrow." 24/12/18 12:52:15 |
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Rambo’s mission was to shoot the country’s monarch. 10/12/18 8:39:10 |
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13/11/18 20:01:06 |
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Nod to https://www.caption.me/356778https://www.caption.me/277138https://www.caption.me/63354 --Funny Bean
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27/03/20 8:00:37 |
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Bush was right after all. --Scrijjy Doo
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24/03/20 20:00:05 |
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17/03/20 20:00:09 |
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Isn't Spot the Australian in the last picture? --Willie Johnson
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"F*cking genie, I wished I was surrounded by gold, money and pussy." 09/03/20 12:38:57 |
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After losing 8 lives, Schrödinger's cat receives huge payout. 09/03/20 12:15:01 |
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"She was both rich AND poor until I opened the box to take that photo.":^) --Crunchy Chords
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"Jeez, I'm not using that prickly lipstick again!" 04/03/20 8:00:05 |
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I would have posted this caption, but am a little bit late - only about seven hours. Great caption. --Willie Johnson
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23/02/20 20:00:04 |
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Funny! --The Caption Guy
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"It took me a while to work out the formula for Pi." 20/02/20 9:31:07 |
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This sex talk is just ridiculous :) --The Wolf
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"This is the wurst banana split I've ever tasted." 11/02/20 20:06:49 |
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"That's not the sort of child support I'm after Dave." 02/01/20 20:00:10 |
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"How did you get over?" 04/11/19 8:24:58 |
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"He'll fry if he tries to jump back.""How revolting." --Crunchy Chords
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26/09/19 8:00:15 |
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17/09/19 8:06:41 |
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14/09/19 12:00:03 |
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01/09/19 8:35:26 |
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"He reacts like this every time we go to a filling station." 01/08/19 12:00:18 |
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"Jesus Dave, stop giving the mannequins blueberry juice. They keep pissing on the floor." 15/07/19 12:37:26 |
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"Now we can have as much cake as we like!" 20/06/19 12:17:08 |
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17/06/19 20:00:11 |
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Ha ha, just pipped me to it. --Troompa Loompa
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"Sh*t, what a time for the batteries in my xray glasses to run out." 09/06/19 8:01:49 |
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29/05/19 12:00:13 |
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"I’m crap at following instructions from Ikea." 21/04/19 8:41:48 |
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12/04/19 12:05:07 |
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"I've been staring at this photo for 20 minutes... Just noticed the cat." 02/04/19 12:02:50 |
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15/03/19 8:00:06 |
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08/03/19 20:00:03 |
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17/02/19 20:00:06 |
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31/12/18 8:02:11 |
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25/12/18 20:16:21 |
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31/03/20 8:01:51 |
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Comes with a free blubber duck. 27/03/20 12:13:25 |
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26/03/20 8:00:05 |
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🎵 Purple brain, purple brain 🎵 18/03/20 20:08:26 |
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He's a pillar of the community. 07/03/20 20:00:23 |
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"STOP! I'll TALK, I'll TALK. Quit interro-gatoring me." 29/02/20 8:00:16 |
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22/02/20 20:00:05 |
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30/01/20 8:00:04 |
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Sequel to 'Babe: Pig in the City'. --Karyn Harrison
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"I like dressing with my chips." 19/01/20 8:01:23 |
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02/12/19 12:21:24 |
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17/10/19 12:01:47 |
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When you've finally given up on the idea of ever having sex again... 12/10/19 20:13:35 |
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I still have sex twice a day, five times a week...It still counts if you're on your own...doesn't it.?? --stone face
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03/10/19 20:01:30 |
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13/09/19 12:35:28 |
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14/08/19 12:57:44 |
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29/06/19 12:20:08 |
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17/06/19 8:28:53 |
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15/06/19 9:14:08 |
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"Ok, there's my nan. Remember to tell her we've all got girlfriends and they're on a hen weekend." 06/05/19 9:05:10 |
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He's making a Mastiff mistake. 01/05/19 13:00:02 |
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"You should've seen my goatee." 18/03/19 12:01:05 |
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Looks like size does matter when it comes to attracting birds. 15/03/19 22:42:30 |
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09/02/19 12:00:04 |
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02/01/19 8:23:23 |
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31/12/18 12:00:04 |
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When cleaning an elephant enclosure, always keep your vizor down. 08/12/18 10:02:52 |
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04/11/18 12:11:14 |
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Nice face shame about the legs. 07/03/20 12:12:36 |
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"NOOOOO, I was going to post that caption!!" 28/02/20 20:33:10 |
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Unfortunately Larry didn't see the dragon creeping up behind him… 25/02/20 8:00:06 |
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14/02/20 12:02:58 |
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My immediate thought. --Barrie Bullock
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12/02/20 20:02:18 |
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19/01/20 12:10:36 |
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I wonder if it's a mother flocker. --Willie Johnson
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10/01/20 8:00:04 |
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09/01/20 8:00:04 |
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14/12/19 12:00:04 |
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"I had a wonderful childhood despite coming from a broken home." 10/12/19 12:03:19 |
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01/12/19 20:00:15 |
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He's been waiting ages for his transfer. 20/11/19 8:16:36 |
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26/10/19 20:08:00 |
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"They'll last many a good year." 17/10/19 20:00:57 |
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04/10/19 8:00:12 |
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30/09/19 12:04:37 |
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"I'd love to wipe that smog expression off his face." 12/09/19 20:16:35 |
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09/09/19 8:04:55 |
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18/08/19 9:32:05 |
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12/07/19 12:00:04 |
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28/05/19 20:00:03 |
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31/03/19 8:31:23 |
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The first pedals will push their way up in spring. 23/03/19 12:03:09 |
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16/03/19 8:00:04 |
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07/01/19 8:00:04 |
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Never go shopping without 'Your Flexible Friend'. 13/11/18 20:06:28 |
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30/10/18 20:00:05 |
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20/10/18 8:00:07 |
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Fri 12:00:04 |
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Spot the captioneer who just won £50. 01/04/20 8:08:20 |
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Is Spot a new captioneer or one I haven't heard of? --Willie Johnson
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"Oh no, look’s like I’ve caught thrush again." 28/03/20 8:50:42 |
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27/03/20 8:33:02 |
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Good one. --Scrijjy Doo
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"I give a webcast every Friday." 07/02/20 12:00:10 |
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"Something happened to me when I went through the purly gates." 11/01/20 8:02:59 |
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07/01/20 8:00:05 |
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"Daddy, can you get me out please? I'm feeling a little hampered." 03/01/20 8:00:05 |
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24/12/19 12:42:37 |
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01/12/19 20:00:36 |
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24/11/19 12:00:38 |
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02/11/19 20:19:37 |
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28/10/19 8:44:21 |
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27/10/19 8:09:49 |
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"I used to drink beer but got tired of hops." 21/10/19 12:09:30 |
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09/10/19 9:05:29 |
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23/08/19 12:15:34 |
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18/08/19 8:00:58 |
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"Ooh, look at those come to bread eyes!" 17/08/19 9:04:05 |
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28/07/19 8:39:36 |
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Turns out the human brain stores information in chunks. 15/07/19 20:00:07 |
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15/07/19 8:03:50 |
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"I don't want the operation now Doc. The wife's grown quite attached to my hernia." 18/06/19 20:01:14 |
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Come for the hernia. Stay for the rigor mortis. --Scrappy Doo
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*The Emperor* "Hope it's warmer than the last one." 16/06/19 20:00:15 |
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11/05/19 8:02:29 |
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03/04/19 23:12:48 |
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And the worst was the cherry. --Scrappy Doo
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"Let's not involve our insurance companies, it was just a graze." 25/03/19 12:02:14 |
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05/03/19 12:00:04 |
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28/02/19 12:00:05 |
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08/02/19 20:00:25 |
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08/02/19 12:00:04 |
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Fernando had to be a master of disguise to get home in one piece after a show. 11/11/18 21:21:38 |
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Council saves last piece of green belt land. 05/11/18 8:07:53 |
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31/03/20 8:00:06 |
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Thank you Boris for ending tupperware parties. 25/03/20 12:02:04 |
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22/03/20 20:00:05 |
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29/02/20 20:00:06 |
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12/02/20 8:26:35 |
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27/01/20 8:08:19 |
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It's not easy captioning with your left hand... 06/01/20 9:12:22 |
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Government showcases affordable housing for post-Brexit Britain. 17/12/19 8:50:22 |
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12/11/19 20:00:03 |
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29/10/19 12:05:01 |
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In a town like this you get to know everyone's faeces. 21/10/19 8:00:32 |
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When marriage counselling fails you can rely on superglue. 15/10/19 8:01:03 |
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♪ Nick nack paddy whack, give a dog a cone 08/10/19 8:21:07 |
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I need to stop doing these bloody captions, they're eating up all my spore time. 07/10/19 8:28:13 |
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"All my apples have gone missing. Police suspect fowl play." 25/09/19 20:11:01 |
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more captions
Nod to 8:06:27
11:15am
comment on caption:
Fleasy Hider [Stephen Bean]
Nod to 20:00:18
8:01pm
comment on caption:
"...and the winner of 'Lilliput's Largest Turd 2020' is… Gulliver." [Stephen Bean]
Is Spot a new captioneer or one I haven't heard of?
8:11am
comment on caption:
Spot the captioneer who just won £50. [Stephen Bean]
These days everything seems to be going to the dogs.
8:15am
comment on caption:
Spot the captioneer who just won £50. [Stephen Bean]
Nod to 20:01:20
8:23pm
comment on caption:
When the mother-in-law comes to tea and you accidentally forget she's a Jehovah's Witness. [Stephen Bean]
Nod to 12:00:05
12:10pm
comment on caption:
"Happy Birthday darling, I've finally shaved my pussy for you." [Stephen Bean]
Nice work.
7:50pm
comment on caption:
Michael Yelps [Stephen Bean]
"Hey guys, 6 feet!"
11:34pm
comment on caption:
"I only coughed once." [Stephen Bean]
That's what he said.
12:27pm
comment on caption:
"Happy Birthday darling, I've finally shaved my pussy for you." [Stephen Bean]
But not how to dress them properly.
2:10am
comment on caption:
"I know how to raise my children." [Stephen Bean]