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| Captions | 8 | 17 | #2 | 36 | 73 | #10 | 1922 | 3339 | #39 |
| Comments | 6 | 2 | #6 | 6 | 2 | #6 | 243 | 92 | #30 |
| Forum Posts | 17 | 155 | |||||||
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Stephen Bean
signed up: 10 months, 3 weeks ago
profile viewed: 10 time(s) this week
caption quota: 48
votes given since joining: 1,332
super vote quota: 2
I love seeing captions that make me smile and laugh.
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captions
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07/10/18 12:00:09 |
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Mythical beast world championship result: 02/07/19 12:00:14 |
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Lol --sandeep chahal
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18/03/19 8:00:04 |
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Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle. 04/04/19 8:26:24 |
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NASA unveil the new rover for their next moon landing. 22/03/19 12:29:53 |
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Right so you could be my Auntie Edna or my Uncle Harold or even Chirpy my pet budgie .. --stone face
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Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says she's 'fine'. 14/03/19 20:05:54 |
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08/01/19 12:00:04 |
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Always slice a cucumber before feeding to your tortoise. 23/11/18 21:52:32 |
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There’s big bucks in the fashion industry. 30/10/18 8:08:30 |
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23/07/19 20:00:14 |
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16/07/19 12:00:04 |
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10/07/19 8:09:18 |
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Jesus figured selling selfies on ebay would make him a prophet. 07/05/19 12:02:50 |
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03/05/19 12:02:24 |
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07/02/19 20:00:05 |
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12/01/19 12:00:04 |
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30/07/19 8:00:32 |
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31/05/19 12:00:16 |
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18/05/19 8:00:03 |
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16/05/19 8:00:03 |
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Glad it's not just me that struggles with a Toblerone. 14/04/19 12:14:01 |
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That's cool well done - I love toblerone wish I could find one that big --BAD BOY DENNIS *
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28/11/18 12:01:09 |
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03/10/18 20:00:29 |
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12/06/19 8:00:04 |
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13/05/19 20:00:03 |
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12/05/19 20:00:05 |
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26/04/19 8:00:15 |
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16/04/19 12:00:05 |
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20/03/19 12:00:06 |
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Yeah couldn't agree more James, great caption. --The Wolf
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25/02/19 8:00:26 |
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08/01/19 8:00:05 |
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When a caption appears after a few seconds it will probably have been prepared in advance rather than be the result of ''speed and cleverness''. The lucky captioneer will simply be the one who downloads it the quickest. As Karyn points out, it... --Dave Bryan
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26/12/18 20:00:06 |
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"Please officer, can you let me off? It’s my birthday tomorrow." 24/12/18 12:52:15 |
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Rambo’s mission was to shoot the country’s monarch. 10/12/18 8:39:10 |
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13/11/18 20:01:06 |
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Nod to https://www.caption.me/356778https://www.caption.me/277138https://www.caption.me/63354 --Funny Bean
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"He reacts like this every time we go to a filling station." 01/08/19 12:00:18 |
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"Jesus Dave, stop giving the mannequins blueberry juice. They keep pissing on the floor." 15/07/19 12:37:26 |
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"Now we can have as much cake as we like!" 20/06/19 12:17:08 |
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17/06/19 20:00:11 |
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Ha ha, just pipped me to it. --Troompa Loompa
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"Sh*t, what a time for the batteries in my xray glasses to run out." 09/06/19 8:01:49 |
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29/05/19 12:00:13 |
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"I’m crap at following instructions from Ikea." 21/04/19 8:41:48 |
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12/04/19 12:05:07 |
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"I've been staring at this photo for 20 minutes... Just noticed the cat." 02/04/19 12:02:50 |
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15/03/19 8:00:06 |
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08/03/19 20:00:03 |
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17/02/19 20:00:06 |
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31/12/18 8:02:11 |
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25/12/18 20:16:21 |
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Wed 12:57:44 |
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29/06/19 12:20:08 |
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17/06/19 8:28:53 |
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15/06/19 9:14:08 |
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"Ok, there's my nan. Remember to tell her we've 06/05/19 9:05:10 |
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He's making a Mastiff mistake. 01/05/19 13:00:02 |
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"You should've seen my goatee." 18/03/19 12:01:05 |
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Looks like size does matter when it comes to attracting birds. 15/03/19 22:42:30 |
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09/02/19 12:00:04 |
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02/01/19 8:23:23 |
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31/12/18 12:00:04 |
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When cleaning an elephant enclosure, always keep your vizor down. 08/12/18 10:02:52 |
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04/11/18 12:11:14 |
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12/07/19 12:00:04 |
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28/05/19 20:00:03 |
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31/03/19 8:31:23 |
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The first pedals will push their way up in spring. 23/03/19 12:03:09 |
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16/03/19 8:00:04 |
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07/01/19 8:00:04 |
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Never go shopping without 'Your Flexible Friend'. 13/11/18 20:06:28 |
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30/10/18 20:00:05 |
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20/10/18 8:00:07 |
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28/07/19 8:39:36 |
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Turns out the human brain stores information in chunks. 15/07/19 20:00:07 |
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15/07/19 8:03:50 |
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"I don't want the operation now Doc. The wife's grown quite attached to my hernia." 18/06/19 20:01:14 |
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Come for the hernia. Stay for the rigor mortis. --Scrappy Doo
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*The Emperor* "Hope it's warmer than the last one." 16/06/19 20:00:15 |
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11/05/19 8:02:29 |
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03/04/19 23:12:48 |
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And the worst was the cherry. --Scrappy Doo
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"Let's not involve our insurance companies, it was just a graze." 25/03/19 12:02:14 |
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05/03/19 12:00:04 |
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28/02/19 12:00:05 |
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08/02/19 20:00:25 |
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08/02/19 12:00:04 |
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Fernando had to be a master of disguise to get home in one piece after a show. 11/11/18 21:21:38 |
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Council saves last piece of green belt land. 05/11/18 8:07:53 |
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Sun 8:00:39 |
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"Darling, I think your Dad's taken the baby for a walk in the park again." 25/07/19 8:00:11 |
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09/07/19 8:00:10 |
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07/07/19 8:08:26 |
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05/04/19 8:00:04 |
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03/03/19 8:00:20 |
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Is that Morgan Freeman or a phoney? 08/02/19 8:00:20 |
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26/12/18 13:54:02 |
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20/12/18 12:00:15 |
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18/12/18 20:00:06 |
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P-P-Picked up too many Penguins. 21/10/18 8:00:39 |
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23/07/19 12:11:29 |
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16/07/19 21:53:51 |
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14/07/19 12:18:47 |
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"The doctor said the rash on my face is lupus." 14/07/19 8:00:08 |
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30/06/19 12:01:13 |
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"Last time I buy earrings on the web." 19/06/19 12:00:16 |
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08/06/19 8:02:09 |
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01/06/19 12:00:12 |
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"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something, 20/04/19 8:27:20 |
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I see in your comment, James, that you were "drinking and voting" again. For those that don't know, the tallying-program takes this into account: If you've had a few too many...it reduces the weight of your voting. So, please, PLEA... --Greg Curtis
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Ironically he went fishing because his wife kept biting his head off… 21/03/19 20:00:21 |
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16/03/19 20:00:04 |
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04/03/19 20:01:19 |
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"Darling, you look ridiculous going to work with your trousers tucked into your socks." 20/02/19 12:00:05 |
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"Do you want to see my mandrill?" 13/02/19 12:01:37 |
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30/01/19 20:01:04 |
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30/01/19 20:00:17 |
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03/01/19 12:04:54 |
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I think he’s playing a piece by Wag-ner. 17/12/18 8:54:18 |
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13/12/18 8:58:30 |
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♪ I’m with ewe every step of the way 03/12/18 20:04:23 |
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Clive found pretending to win the lottery every couple of months added a bit of spice to life. 15/11/18 22:26:51 |
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"I find the best way to break the ice is to get my chopper out." Sun 22:57:58 |
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"Remember Mummy needs her diaphragm back when Daddy gets home from work." 24/07/19 12:00:04 |
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"Almost went for the soft top but it was too sluggish." 22/07/19 8:00:15 |
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21/06/19 8:00:03 |
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"This is nothing, the wife's tits can touch the ground!" 18/06/19 22:58:55 |
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"Wish that bloody Gulliver wouldn't keep dropping his matches." 15/06/19 12:01:04 |
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10/06/19 12:00:58 |
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04/06/19 12:00:37 |
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25/05/19 8:00:15 |
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16/05/19 12:00:13 |
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Chernobyl farmer insists his potatoes will leave you with a warm glow inside. 05/05/19 12:19:33 |
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28/04/19 8:00:05 |
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21/04/19 8:00:47 |
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I can't get on site til late, went through the captions twice, finally I decided to put in buttressing, only to be told by the dupe detector it had already been done. I went through the captions again, still couldn't find it, then I noticed the ... --John Glover
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"Doctor, I’m having a funny turn." 17/04/19 8:28:48 |
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Handel’s music is getting Messiah and Messiah. 11/04/19 20:01:48 |
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28/03/19 22:34:19 |
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24/03/19 20:00:50 |
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"And my 743rd caption on caption.me was..." 16/03/19 8:19:12 |
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There comes a time when every man needs to consider trimming his Capsicum pubescens. 05/03/19 20:00:59 |
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04/03/19 8:00:08 |
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I've tested my eyesight 500 times this morning already. 28/02/19 8:00:46 |
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When Schrödinger’s cat was finally let out of the box he made up for lost time. 20/02/19 9:01:47 |
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"Mate we’ve been on this green diet of yours for ages now and we’re still fat as f**k." 04/02/19 11:01:14 |
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10/01/19 12:00:04 |
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19/12/18 12:23:03 |
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♪ We all live in a yellow pub-canteen 18/12/18 14:31:36 |
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01/12/18 12:00:05 |
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09/11/18 20:07:06 |
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13/10/18 8:00:08 |
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05/10/18 20:00:09 |
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The teak shall inherit the oeuf. Sun 17:16:39 |
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10/08/19 8:08:46 |
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08/08/19 23:23:08 |
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08/08/19 12:00:11 |
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06/08/19 20:02:44 |
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31/07/19 20:14:18 |
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"You need a lot of dough for a cottage like that." 30/07/19 8:02:38 |
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Or a lot of bread. --Willie Johnson
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"I'm not convinced Koko can sign 2000 words. He only ever uses this one when I'm around." 29/06/19 12:00:06 |
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"We're not inviting that bloody tiger to tea again!" 23/06/19 20:07:38 |
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20/06/19 20:00:03 |
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04/06/19 20:00:03 |
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"A horse, a horse, my condom for a horse." 02/06/19 12:25:00 |
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When the cat's awake the mice will play 03/05/19 14:54:17 |
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24/04/19 12:00:03 |
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"Glad I found my truck after that storm last night… Now where the f*ck's my house?" 28/03/19 12:01:01 |
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Fast food is my gilty pleasure. 24/03/19 12:07:17 |
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The only known cure for caption addiction. 27/02/19 15:27:26 |
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The only cure is to leave in a box. --Scrappy Doo
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21/02/19 18:17:52 |
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20/02/19 8:31:29 |
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03/02/19 12:00:06 |
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Four smelt it and one dealt it. 02/02/19 21:10:58 |
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He must have a fart of gold. --Karyn Harrison
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02/02/19 20:37:24 |
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31/01/19 20:11:57 |
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Those drawers probably haven’t been opened in a while. 16/12/18 20:15:30 |
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09/12/18 12:06:20 |
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Billy made the lift by a splits second. 08/12/18 12:00:04 |
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07/12/18 23:04:28 |
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Mushrooms can cause a reptile dysfunction. 25/11/18 12:00:19 |
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25/11/18 12:00:05 |
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21/11/18 8:00:07 |
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Mag-pie and chips 20/11/18 20:00:11 |
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12/11/18 20:28:28 |
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04/11/18 8:36:33 |
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"Why are you telling me my journey has terminated? I have another bus to catch." 31/10/18 20:00:19 |
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"Whose idea was it to sell life insurance to Usain Bolt?" 25/10/18 8:12:33 |
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The benefits of living until 200 12/10/18 20:09:39 |
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05/10/18 12:00:14 |
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29/09/18 13:46:24 |
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"Don't ever stay here. My room was cold, dark, damp and the view was terrible." Mon 8:05:27 |
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07/08/19 8:42:24 |
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Council take action after family report being attacked by Bubbles the Goldfish. 05/08/19 20:12:52 |
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"In this hot weather it's important to keep your titaniums well watered." 05/08/19 13:08:48 |
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"They're the only kind of lilos they sell love. We are by the Dead Sea." 04/08/19 8:00:45 |
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02/08/19 12:08:57 |
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Just realized my later caption has the same pun on gulls/girls (♪ ♪ I wish they all could be California Gulls... ♪ ♪). If you think it's too similar I could delete it. --Willie Johnson
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31/07/19 20:00:04 |
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We miss you PG! --Crunchy Chords
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29/07/19 20:04:12 |
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"We were getting on so well… and then she woke up and saw me on her door." 28/07/19 20:03:20 |
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"Mum, Dad says you've mixed up your evening primrose capsules with the ecstasy again." 27/07/19 12:23:29 |
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"Love, I need to get back. Someone's set fire to my bike again." 26/07/19 20:10:31 |
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21/07/19 12:00:04 |
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"That's another fine mesh you've got us into." 21/07/19 9:04:34 |
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18/07/19 8:00:04 |
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17/07/19 8:00:04 |
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more captions
You should have used a pound coin.
8:02am
comment on caption:
Splosh (penny falls into well)
"I wish everyone finds this caption so funny they give it a vote." [Stephen Bean]
Splosh (sound of pound coin falling into well). Thanks for the advice Dave.
8:17am
comment on caption:
Splosh (penny falls into well)
"I wish everyone finds this caption so funny they give it a vote." [Stephen Bean]
Splosh, splosh, splosh...............splosh (sound of fifty pound coins falling into well).
I ain’t proud.
8:35am
comment on caption:
Splosh (penny falls into well)
"I wish everyone finds this caption so funny they give it a vote." [Stephen Bean]
You're breaking my heart.
8:37am
comment on caption:
Splosh (penny falls into well)
"I wish everyone finds this caption so funny they give it a vote." [Stephen Bean]
I do believe in magic. I do, I do, I do. Thank you so much Dave.
8:45am
comment on caption:
Splosh (penny falls into well)
"I wish everyone finds this caption so funny they give it a vote." [Stephen Bean]
"What's that Lassie? Penny's fallen into the well?"
10:45am
comment on caption:
Splosh (penny falls into well)
"I wish everyone finds this caption so funny they give it a vote." [Stephen Bean]
"Splosh, splosh, splosh...............splosh (sound of fifty pound coins falling into well)."
You could have used that for a one night's stay.
11:51am
comment on caption:
Splosh (penny falls into well)
"I wish everyone finds this caption so funny they give it a vote." [Stephen Bean]
Or both?
9:02pm
comment on caption:
"When the wife looks at me like this I don't know whether to get the condoms or run." [Stephen Bean]
Would that be a Ghost Train ?
10:25am
comment on caption:
The Ghoul with the Train [Stephen Bean]
Ooh that’s good. I’ve listened to ‘The Girl on the Train’ so can’t help leaving it. Thanks for the tip.
5:12pm
comment on caption:
The Ghoul with the Train [Stephen Bean]