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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 20 | 24 | #4 | 40 | 74 | #3 | 1147 | 1862 | #57 |
| Comments | 2 | 1 | #4 | 5 | 3 | #7 | 174 | 55 | #44 |
| Forum Posts | 1 | 6 | 102 | ||||||
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Stephen Bean
signed up: 6 months, 3 weeks ago
profile viewed: 10 time(s) this week
caption quota: 45
votes given since joining: 970
super vote quota: 0
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captions
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07/10/18 12:00:09 |
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18/03/19 8:00:04 |
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Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle. 04/04/19 8:26:24 |
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NASA unveil the new rover for their next moon landing. 22/03/19 12:29:53 |
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Right so you could be my Auntie Edna or my Uncle Harold or even Chirpy my pet budgie .. --stone face
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Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says she's 'fine'. 14/03/19 20:05:54 |
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08/01/19 12:00:04 |
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Always slice a cucumber before feeding to your tortoise. 23/11/18 21:52:32 |
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There’s big bucks in the fashion industry. 30/10/18 8:08:30 |
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07/02/19 20:00:05 |
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12/01/19 12:00:04 |
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Glad it's not just me that struggles with a Toblerone. 14/04/19 12:14:01 |
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That's cool well done - I love toblerone wish I could find one that big --BAD BOY DENNIS *
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28/11/18 12:01:09 |
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03/10/18 20:00:29 |
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Tue 12:00:05 |
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20/03/19 12:00:06 |
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Yeah couldn't agree more James, great caption. --The Wolf
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25/02/19 8:00:26 |
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08/01/19 8:00:05 |
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When a caption appears after a few seconds it will probably have been prepared in advance rather than be the result of ''speed and cleverness''. The lucky captioneer will simply be the one who downloads it the quickest. As Karyn points out, it... --Dave Bryan
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26/12/18 20:00:06 |
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"Please officer, can you let me off? It’s my birthday tomorrow." 24/12/18 12:52:15 |
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Rambo’s mission was to shoot the country’s monarch. 10/12/18 8:39:10 |
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13/11/18 20:01:06 |
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Nod to https://www.caption.me/356778https://www.caption.me/277138https://www.caption.me/63354 --Funny Bean
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12/04/19 12:05:07 |
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"I've been staring at this photo for 20 minutes... Just noticed the cat." 02/04/19 12:02:50 |
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15/03/19 8:00:06 |
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08/03/19 20:00:03 |
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17/02/19 20:00:06 |
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31/12/18 8:02:11 |
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25/12/18 20:16:21 |
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"You should've seen my goatee." 18/03/19 12:01:05 |
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Looks like size does matter when it comes to attracting birds. 15/03/19 22:42:30 |
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09/02/19 12:00:04 |
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02/01/19 8:23:23 |
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31/12/18 12:00:04 |
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When cleaning an elephant enclosure, always keep your vizor down. 08/12/18 10:02:52 |
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04/11/18 12:11:14 |
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31/03/19 8:31:23 |
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The first pedals will push their way up in spring. 23/03/19 12:03:09 |
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16/03/19 8:00:04 |
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07/01/19 8:00:04 |
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Never go shopping without 'Your Flexible Friend'. 13/11/18 20:06:28 |
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30/10/18 20:00:05 |
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20/10/18 8:00:07 |
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03/04/19 23:12:48 |
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And the worst was the cherry. --Scrappy Doo
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"Let's not involve our insurance companies, it was just a graze." 25/03/19 12:02:14 |
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05/03/19 12:00:04 |
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28/02/19 12:00:05 |
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08/02/19 20:00:25 |
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08/02/19 12:00:04 |
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Fernando had to be a master of disguise to get home in one piece after a show. 11/11/18 21:21:38 |
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Council saves last piece of green belt land. 05/11/18 8:07:53 |
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05/04/19 8:00:04 |
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03/03/19 8:00:20 |
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Is that Morgan Freeman or a phoney? 08/02/19 8:00:20 |
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26/12/18 13:54:02 |
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20/12/18 12:00:15 |
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18/12/18 20:00:06 |
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P-P-Picked up too many Penguins. 21/10/18 8:00:39 |
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"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something, Sat 8:27:20 |
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I see in your comment, James, that you were "drinking and voting" again. For those that don't know, the tallying-program takes this into account: If you've had a few too many...it reduces the weight of your voting. So, please, PLEA... --Greg Curtis
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Ironically he went fishing because his wife kept biting his head off… 21/03/19 20:00:21 |
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16/03/19 20:00:04 |
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04/03/19 20:01:19 |
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"Darling, you look ridiculous going to work with your trousers tucked into your socks." 20/02/19 12:00:05 |
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"Do you want to see my mandrill?" 13/02/19 12:01:37 |
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30/01/19 20:01:04 |
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30/01/19 20:00:17 |
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03/01/19 12:04:54 |
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I think he’s playing a piece by Wag-ner. 17/12/18 8:54:18 |
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13/12/18 8:58:30 |
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♪ I’m with ewe every step of the way 03/12/18 20:04:23 |
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Clive found pretending to win the lottery every couple of months added a bit of spice to life. 15/11/18 22:26:51 |
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"Doctor, I’m having a funny turn." Wed 8:28:48 |
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Handel’s music is getting Messiah and Messiah. 11/04/19 20:01:48 |
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28/03/19 22:34:19 |
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24/03/19 20:00:50 |
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"And my 743rd caption on caption.me was..." 16/03/19 8:19:12 |
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There comes a time when every man needs to consider trimming his Capsicum pubescens. 05/03/19 20:00:59 |
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04/03/19 8:00:08 |
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I've tested my eyesight 500 times this morning already. 28/02/19 8:00:46 |
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When Schrödinger’s cat was finally let out of the box he made up for lost time. 20/02/19 9:01:47 |
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"Mate we’ve been on this green diet of yours for ages now and we’re still fat as f**k." 04/02/19 11:01:14 |
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10/01/19 12:00:04 |
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19/12/18 12:23:03 |
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♪ We all live in a yellow pub-canteen 18/12/18 14:31:36 |
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01/12/18 12:00:05 |
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09/11/18 20:07:06 |
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13/10/18 8:00:08 |
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05/10/18 20:00:09 |
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"Glad I found my truck after that storm last night… Now where the f*ck's my house?" 28/03/19 12:01:01 |
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Fast food is my gilty pleasure. 24/03/19 12:07:17 |
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The only known cure for caption addiction. 27/02/19 15:27:26 |
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The only cure is to leave in a box. --Scrappy Doo
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21/02/19 18:17:52 |
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20/02/19 8:31:29 |
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03/02/19 12:00:06 |
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Four smelt it and one dealt it. 02/02/19 21:10:58 |
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He must have a fart of gold. --Karyn Harrison
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02/02/19 20:37:24 |
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31/01/19 20:11:57 |
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Those drawers probably haven’t been opened in a while. 16/12/18 20:15:30 |
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09/12/18 12:06:20 |
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Billy made the lift by a splits second. 08/12/18 12:00:04 |
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07/12/18 23:04:28 |
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Mushrooms can cause a reptile dysfunction. 25/11/18 12:00:19 |
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25/11/18 12:00:05 |
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21/11/18 8:00:07 |
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Mag-pie and chips 20/11/18 20:00:11 |
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12/11/18 20:28:28 |
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04/11/18 8:36:33 |
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"Why are you telling me my journey has terminated? I have another bus to catch." 31/10/18 20:00:19 |
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"Whose idea was it to sell life insurance to Usain Bolt?" 25/10/18 8:12:33 |
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The benefits of living until 200 12/10/18 20:09:39 |
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05/10/18 12:00:14 |
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29/09/18 13:46:24 |
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Thu 8:01:13 |
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01/04/19 12:00:03 |
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22/03/19 12:21:40 |
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Billy left the kids at home with their nanny. 20/03/19 12:00:34 |
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My Nan’s earwax is getting out of control. 18/03/19 20:00:57 |
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13/03/19 12:18:59 |
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The world '1 potato, 2 potato' champion receives his trophy. 12/03/19 8:00:04 |
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Has anyone else asked KaZzDaRaZz for a higher resolution version of this photo? 09/03/19 12:00:53 |
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Lol. I think this pic is showing us the results of one of those all-to-common cases of death by extreme cushion frotting. Apparently, the serious friction from this activity has caused many a weirdo to go up like the Hindenburg! She should be okay... --Karen Oakenfull
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09/03/19 12:00:05 |
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02/03/19 12:00:36 |
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15/02/19 20:00:03 |
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"When I touch my knob I feel gilty." 13/02/19 20:04:03 |
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10/01/19 20:09:14 |
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02/01/19 8:00:05 |
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01/01/19 12:00:06 |
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28/12/18 12:42:27 |
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14/12/18 12:28:36 |
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"When you said we’d have a great White Christmas this year I had something else in mind." 14/12/18 12:05:49 |
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"It’s only three bucks for a pint." 11/12/18 12:00:06 |
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04/12/18 12:06:49 |
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Cross-dressed to kill 😁😁 --Mr Dome
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29/11/18 8:01:06 |
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It's a labia of love. --Michael Winner
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22/11/18 8:30:11 |
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I try to post captions that are relevant and different and try not to rehash old ones. If it is a particularly irksome point don't vote for it but the site is just a bit of fun - if a caption fits perfectly then post it regardless of whether it'... --Mr Dome
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21/11/18 20:19:19 |
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13/11/18 20:03:35 |
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Clever pun. I like the way they've hidden their Primark purchases in Chanel bags. ;) --Pussy Galore
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I wish I could takeaway her dress. 30/10/18 12:00:05 |
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Thanks for the tip. I never realised you could use copy and paste on the site. --Dave Bryan
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Borrower outperforms rats in laboratory tests. 25/10/18 21:23:19 |
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Her boyfriend is multilingual. Wed 12:00:51 |
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05/04/19 8:01:34 |
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The moral of the story is not to re-wire the house while Mrs Peterson feeds her cat. 02/04/19 20:43:35 |
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02/04/19 12:10:56 |
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27/03/19 20:00:11 |
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"Does anyone have a pasture repair kit?" 23/03/19 12:00:21 |
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"The Ground Force is strong with this one." 23/03/19 8:00:03 |
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"But honey, I heard your dad say he wanted his wheelchair fitted with a motor." 22/03/19 8:45:38 |
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Now we know why the earth wobbles on its axis. 19/03/19 20:07:58 |
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18/03/19 12:00:42 |
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"Does my butt look big in this?" 17/03/19 8:02:18 |
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12/03/19 20:08:55 |
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11 doesn't always come before 12 11/03/19 8:00:30 |
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"I’m waiting for some traffic jam." 05/03/19 8:00:05 |
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02/03/19 12:00:04 |
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18/02/19 12:03:33 |
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18/02/19 8:00:04 |
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13/02/19 20:00:29 |
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13/02/19 12:00:04 |
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09/02/19 8:03:11 |
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05/02/19 20:01:35 |
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Do you think the difference in length is a phallacy? 02/02/19 12:00:20 |
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And all because the lady loves Milk Spray. 01/02/19 8:04:45 |
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10/01/19 20:06:29 |
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06/01/19 8:11:40 |
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05/01/19 20:02:32 |
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She's doing it wrong. --Scrappy Doo
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28/12/18 12:00:06 |
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25/12/18 12:13:51 |
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22/12/18 9:50:50 |
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20/12/18 20:00:13 |
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13/12/18 12:22:28 |
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Beryl was famous for her blow jobs. 07/12/18 8:00:13 |
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05/12/18 20:04:50 |
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02/12/18 8:40:11 |
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01/12/18 20:01:11 |
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"I might have got a bit carried away with the loofah." 31/10/18 12:04:03 |
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28/10/18 21:09:58 |
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23/10/18 9:51:21 |
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Maybe "Hat-trick" rather than "Hatrick"? --Molly R
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18/10/18 8:00:06 |
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05/10/18 8:00:12 |
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01/10/18 20:51:41 |
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30/09/18 13:39:38 |
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"It's amazing how much money you can save with a latex mask and a fake bus pass." 15/04/19 12:06:36 |
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13/04/19 8:01:42 |
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I don’t know why they bother. Most of the news in China is fabricated. 07/04/19 8:01:47 |
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05/04/19 12:01:26 |
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30/03/19 8:00:04 |
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Nice. I actually wonder if perhaps it could do without the 'The.' The 'De' does the job nicely.(There's a phrase I never thought I'd write: 'the' three times in a row!):^)Crunchy --Crunchy Chords
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26/03/19 12:00:04 |
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20/03/19 20:00:07 |
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17/03/19 12:02:31 |
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17/03/19 8:00:04 |
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Brussels provide Theresa May with transport home after her latest attempts to secure a Brexit deal. 14/03/19 12:05:12 |
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I'm sure this would be less of a rough ride than Mrs May --Mr Dome
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Darlene could do amazing things with her feet. 11/03/19 12:22:14 |
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10/03/19 20:08:30 |
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04/03/19 13:10:07 |
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20/02/19 8:00:04 |
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Her boyfriend has lots of piercings. 18/02/19 21:21:27 |
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17/02/19 8:00:07 |
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16/02/19 20:00:26 |
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15/02/19 12:00:25 |
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14/02/19 20:00:03 |
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"That’s the last time I ride that bl**dy unicycle." 14/02/19 8:02:00 |
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"Sorry mate, I prefer my chicken roasted rather than poached." 12/02/19 20:04:00 |
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more captions
Molly’s reminded of an old joke. It’s not relevant but I’ll tell it all the same.
I answered the door this morning and a delivery man said, “I’ve got a parcel here for next door.”
I said, “You’ve come to the wrong house then mate.”
(I’m here all week 😉)
11:55am
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]
Why do my punctuation marks come out as though I’m writing in ancient Norse?
12:11pm
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]
I give up Karen .... what's the punch line?
12:14pm
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]
Pmls John. I give up as well. Shall we dance?
12:27pm
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]
I'm still awake Greg, just. Sad to hear voting is another thing I can't do while drinking. Next thing you know they'll ban driving as well.
Don't know what's going on with the supervote. It won't let me remove it Molly, and when I try again it says I have already done it. Will post in the forum when I have more patience for typing on this damn phone.
And Karen, it looks like Norse Code to me. Oh Jeez, I'm punning. Must be time for sleep now.
12:46pm
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]
James, I just figured out what happened with your voting. It's explained on "the discuss section": When YOU clicked the "thumbs up," it counted as a stupor-vote.
: )
Okay, I'll stop now. I just get a kick out of yah, that's all!
1:25pm
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]
I've only had a few beers & a little malt but can't understand most of this thread.
8:35pm
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]
Hi James, hope you still find it as funny now you’re sober. Chris has deleted your original supervote.
10:36pm
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]
Dang, sorry Mr. Bean. I'm relatively sober at present and do still find it LOL worthy, but I missed the vote removal and the cutoff time to redo it.
10:29am
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]
No problem James. So glad it made you laugh. I kept laughing at it myself - maybe I should try this next time the doorbell goes… I’m sure I have a jar somewhere...
10:44am
comment on caption:
"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something,
greet them like this and don’t say anything."
[Stephen Bean]