| This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 6 | 14 | #3 | 56 | 163 | #3 | 6222 | 13704 | #12 |
| Comments | 5 | 2 | #6 | 5 | 2 | #6 | 544 | 313 | #15 |
| Forum Posts | 2 | 202 | |||||||
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Stephen Bean
signed up: 2 years, 3 months ago
profile viewed: 12 time(s) this week
caption quota: 60
votes given since joining: 4,663
super vote quota: 30
I love seeing captions that make me smile and laugh.
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captions
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£50 26/02/20 12:00:54 |
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I'd already decided if I won I wanted to use the money to help caption.me. I've asked Chris if he might consider putting my winnings towards a second prize of £25 for Feb, and a second prize of £25 for March, and otherwise put it towards the c... --Stephen Bean
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21/04/20 11:00:17 |
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Dave was the last to notice Medusa had taken up hang gliding. 08/07/20 11:00:09 |
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07/10/18 11:00:09 |
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04/10/19 19:02:43 |
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"You're doing well on your first shift kid. Hold your arms a bit wider, this next one's really big." 01/11/20 8:03:12 |
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"Not today love, I've got a monumental headache." 21/04/20 7:01:37 |
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07/04/20 11:12:18 |
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05/04/20 7:25:13 |
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"Hey guys, 6 feet!" --Scrijjy Doo
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01/01/20 8:09:43 |
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Mythical beast world championship result: 02/07/19 11:00:14 |
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Lol --sandeep chahal
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18/03/19 8:00:04 |
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Thu 20:00:04 |
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L'Orange & Peking, a crowd favorite, but roasted by the judges --Mauris Iocus
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"I threw caution to the wind and it came back." 20/11/20 12:26:24 |
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"Sorry guys, I can't eat any more. I'm stuffed." 19/09/20 11:00:07 |
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Now if only I could get up. Somebody's put superglue on my seat. --Willie Johnson
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07/07/20 11:05:05 |
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Or Gang Bang? --Karyn Harrison
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28/03/20 12:00:05 |
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Scientists are close to understanding why women live longer than men. 04/03/20 12:00:05 |
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One of the most difficult jobs in the world is to give a sick whale a suppository. 16/01/20 20:16:12 |
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Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle. 04/04/19 7:26:24 |
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20/11/20 20:36:54 |
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13/10/20 11:12:25 |
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14/09/20 11:01:23 |
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30/03/20 7:00:12 |
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18/10/19 19:00:10 |
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Mmmm, bishop takes king.... Is this cathedral in Prague? Then the joke is Czech, mate. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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NASA unveil the new rover for their next moon landing. 22/03/19 12:29:53 |
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Right so you could be my Auntie Edna or my Uncle Harold or even Chirpy my pet budgie .. --stone face
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Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says she's 'fine'. 14/03/19 20:05:54 |
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08/01/19 12:00:04 |
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"I don't know why they bother with that sign." 07/12/20 12:14:20 |
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Ouch... :-) -- Smuldo
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The last episode of Thomas the Tank Engine was brutal. 24/10/20 13:07:05 |
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22/10/20 19:22:28 |
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06/06/20 7:00:22 |
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How on earth did they get my real picture? --Woofer 6
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30/03/20 7:00:05 |
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"Can you stop taking photos and lift my bicycle down for me please love?" 28/03/20 12:24:49 |
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I've got to hand it to you. --Scrijjy Doo
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When the neighbour walks by and the car's full of dog food and toilet rolls. 24/03/20 8:02:54 |
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18/03/20 13:27:19 |
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Don't do it Guy. If you go near her you'll need all the hand sanitiser you can get. --James Lennox
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Labrador for sale: in mint condition. 16/03/20 20:00:12 |
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19/11/19 8:00:03 |
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16/09/19 7:00:04 |
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04/09/19 7:09:03 |
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Always slice a cucumber before feeding to your tortoise. 23/11/18 21:52:32 |
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There’s big bucks in the fashion industry. 30/10/18 8:08:30 |
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"I told you not to lick my arse." 03/01/21 20:00:28 |
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''I didn't realise you were being serious. I thought you were saying it tongue in cheek.'' --Dave Bryan
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01/09/20 19:00:11 |
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"It was awful. They skinned me from my head tomatoes." 09/07/20 11:03:43 |
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16/06/20 19:09:20 |
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10/06/20 19:15:41 |
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♫ "Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive" 29/04/20 19:00:05 |
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few 100 years at least. --Dev B
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07/04/20 19:00:04 |
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Fay Wray had her favourite part of King Kong stuffed and mounted. 28/01/20 20:01:14 |
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18/01/20 8:00:03 |
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Young people don't respect their elders anymore. 27/09/19 8:19:02 |
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23/07/19 19:00:14 |
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16/07/19 11:00:04 |
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10/07/19 7:09:18 |
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Jesus figured selling selfies on ebay would make him a prophet. 07/05/19 11:02:50 |
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03/05/19 11:02:24 |
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07/02/19 20:00:05 |
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12/01/19 12:00:04 |
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"But mum, I had a bath yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that." 23/11/20 8:53:15 |
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06/11/20 12:17:00 |
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The Loneliness of the Thong Distance Runner 21/10/20 19:34:50 |
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"I can't see a bloody thing with the son in my eyes." 30/09/20 19:05:05 |
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He's about to get a sonburn, even though he's wearing a sonscreen. --Willie Johnson
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"Noah says he can take the boy, but one of you girls has to stay behind." 29/07/20 20:26:27 |
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"Let's draw straws. The loser has to go with the boy." --Willie Johnson
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It's not easy googling 'how to remove superglue' with your elbows. 10/07/20 19:01:14 |
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How to remove superglue with your elbows? Why not just use your... oh, never mind. --Willie Johnson
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21/04/20 7:00:05 |
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Michael Douglas has not aged well. --Scrijjy Doo
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"I wish the Invisible Man would stop leaving his crap lying around." 18/04/20 19:00:26 |
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"Thank you for holding. Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold…" 14/04/20 19:00:32 |
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If the waiting doesn't do it, the music makes you wish you were dead. --Willie Johnson
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30/03/20 7:02:36 |
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Nice. --Scrijjy Doo
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"Remember, when the waiter appears, you jump in my soup. As soon as he's gone I'll pull you out." 24/02/20 8:00:05 |
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08/12/19 12:00:04 |
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25/09/19 7:20:33 |
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Til death do us-- --Scrijjy Doo
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"I think my sex addiction's cured." 15/09/19 11:23:30 |
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30/07/19 7:00:32 |
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31/05/19 11:00:16 |
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18/05/19 7:00:03 |
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16/05/19 7:00:03 |
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Glad it's not just me that struggles with a Toblerone. 14/04/19 11:14:01 |
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That's cool well done - I love toblerone wish I could find one that big --BAD BOY DENNIS *
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28/11/18 12:01:09 |
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03/10/18 19:00:29 |
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When wasps start being attracted to your toilet seat, it's time to get tested for diabetes. 24/11/20 12:21:38 |
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♫ Never store your superglue next to your eye drops ♫ 17/09/20 11:00:07 |
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That will make you sing the glues. --Willie Johnson
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6th form college prepares for visit from Prince Andrew. 20/07/20 19:05:12 |
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"This is the last time I go for a roll in the hay with you." 14/07/20 7:00:05 |
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11/06/20 19:06:11 |
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18/04/20 19:00:03 |
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"F*ck off Daddy her boobs are mine." 20/03/20 8:00:16 |
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"Love, you're not you when you're hungry." 05/03/20 20:00:46 |
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"When I practice golf indoors I always use a tee towel." 26/02/20 20:00:13 |
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I used to use tee towels too, until I got a hole in one --Mark England
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"Honest Noah, they'll be fine if you just leave them in the sea." 13/02/20 8:02:04 |
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Star Wars isn't for everyone's pallet. 07/01/20 12:14:58 |
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Shunned by the video game industry, Pac-Man spends his days finding customers for the local brothel. 22/10/19 11:06:44 |
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17/10/19 11:00:11 |
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28/08/19 19:09:03 |
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12/06/19 7:00:04 |
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13/05/19 19:00:03 |
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12/05/19 19:00:05 |
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26/04/19 7:00:15 |
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16/04/19 11:00:05 |
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20/03/19 12:00:06 |
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Yeah couldn't agree more James, great caption. --The Wolf
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25/02/19 8:00:26 |
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08/01/19 8:00:05 |
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When a caption appears after a few seconds it will probably have been prepared in advance rather than be the result of ''speed and cleverness''. The lucky captioneer will simply be the one who downloads it the quickest. As Karyn points out, it... --Dave Bryan
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26/12/18 20:00:06 |
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"Please officer, can you let me off? It’s my birthday tomorrow." 24/12/18 12:52:15 |
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Rambo’s mission was to shoot the country’s monarch. 10/12/18 8:39:10 |
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13/11/18 20:01:06 |
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Nod to https://www.caption.me/356778https://www.caption.me/277138https://www.caption.me/63354 --Funny Bean
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14/01/21 20:30:43 |
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She didn't want to wear a mask. --Willie Johnson
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"The shops around here have been badly affected by the pundemic." 12/01/21 12:28:26 |
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Fortunately ballot paper beats rock. 18/11/20 12:05:03 |
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05/10/20 11:00:08 |
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"Can I join your flock please?" 14/09/20 11:14:30 |
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"Flock, yes." --Willie Johnson
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27/08/20 7:12:52 |
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23/08/20 11:08:57 |
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"My friends were right." 26/07/20 11:49:29 |
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When you think your caption is amazing but it just stays on zero… 09/07/20 19:15:17 |
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If you believe in irony, you can go from zero to hero. --Willie Johnson
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07/06/20 19:25:00 |
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"The only downside to clapping every Thursday is I get to see more of the neighbours." 21/05/20 19:51:33 |
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"Dr. Livingstoned, I presume?" 19/05/20 19:14:09 |
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12/05/20 19:00:06 |
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01/05/20 11:00:12 |
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Number of toilet rolls left on supermarket shelves. 19/04/20 19:05:00 |
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No shit! --Mr Dome
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27/03/20 8:00:37 |
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Bush was right after all. --Scrijjy Doo
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24/03/20 20:00:05 |
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17/03/20 20:00:09 |
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Isn't Spot the Australian in the last picture? --Willie Johnson
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"F*cking genie, I wished I was surrounded by gold, money and pussy." 09/03/20 12:38:57 |
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After losing 8 lives, Schrödinger's cat receives huge payout. 09/03/20 12:15:01 |
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"She was both rich AND poor until I opened the box to take that photo.":^) --Crunchy Chords
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"Jeez, I'm not using that prickly lipstick again!" 04/03/20 8:00:05 |
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I would have posted this caption, but am a little bit late - only about seven hours. Great caption. --Willie Johnson
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23/02/20 20:00:04 |
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Funny! --The Caption Guy
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"It took me a while to work out the formula for Pi." 20/02/20 9:31:07 |
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This sex talk is just ridiculous :) --The Wolf
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"This is the wurst banana split I've ever tasted." 11/02/20 20:06:49 |
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"That's not the sort of child support I'm after Dave." 02/01/20 20:00:10 |
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"How did you get over?" 04/11/19 8:24:58 |
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"He'll fry if he tries to jump back.""How revolting." --Crunchy Chords
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26/09/19 7:00:15 |
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17/09/19 7:06:41 |
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14/09/19 11:00:03 |
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01/09/19 7:35:26 |
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"He reacts like this every time we go to a filling station." 01/08/19 11:00:18 |
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"Jesus Dave, stop giving the mannequins blueberry juice. They keep pissing on the floor." 15/07/19 11:37:26 |
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"Now we can have as much cake as we like!" 20/06/19 11:17:08 |
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17/06/19 19:00:11 |
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Ha ha, just pipped me to it. --Troompa Loompa
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"Sh*t, what a time for the batteries in my xray glasses to run out." 09/06/19 7:01:49 |
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29/05/19 11:00:13 |
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"I’m crap at following instructions from Ikea." 21/04/19 7:41:48 |
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12/04/19 11:05:07 |
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"I've been staring at this photo for 20 minutes... Just noticed the cat." 02/04/19 11:02:50 |
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15/03/19 8:00:06 |
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08/03/19 20:00:03 |
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17/02/19 20:00:06 |
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31/12/18 8:02:11 |
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25/12/18 20:16:21 |
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Wed 20:03:01 |
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"I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on", thought Dave. "I'm beginning to flag." 14/01/21 8:50:12 |
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"Slow down Dave, you're going at break neck speed!" 01/01/21 12:17:02 |
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Mark Wilson buys a new car after the Wolf mistakenly transfers £50,000. 26/12/20 10:10:14 |
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20/12/20 8:21:10 |
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28/11/20 12:11:37 |
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"You only get one point for that three point turn." --Willie Johnson
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"What makes you think she's suffering from iron deficiency?" 16/11/20 8:13:26 |
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Her clothes are all creased. --Troompa Loompa
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"Do you think we gave him too much lettuce Charlie?" 08/10/20 23:27:50 |
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"How do I look darling?" 12/09/20 19:00:06 |
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12/09/20 11:01:07 |
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"Genital herpes hasn't affected our relationship at all." 12/09/20 7:19:06 |
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Snooker is more fun with Class A drugs. 07/09/20 7:00:42 |
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29/08/20 7:57:07 |
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Ballbusters! --Scrijjy Doo
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25/07/20 11:00:05 |
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20/07/20 11:04:11 |
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06/07/20 7:38:41 |
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They've increased in number since the Wolf was told to self isolate. 05/07/20 11:40:43 |
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"When did pepper spray become standard issue for postmen?" 30/06/20 7:27:49 |
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14/05/20 19:00:04 |
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12/05/20 11:06:10 |
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11/05/20 11:36:24 |
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With lockdown restrictions finally removed, teenagers set off for their first day back at school. 06/05/20 11:02:45 |
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Booty is in the eye of the beholder. 04/05/20 19:00:10 |
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23/04/20 19:00:17 |
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09/04/20 19:15:37 |
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31/03/20 7:01:51 |
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Comes with a free blubber duck. 27/03/20 12:13:25 |
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26/03/20 8:00:05 |
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🎵 Purple brain, purple brain 🎵 18/03/20 20:08:26 |
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He's a pillar of the community. 07/03/20 20:00:23 |
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"STOP! I'll TALK, I'll TALK. Quit interro-gatoring me." 29/02/20 8:00:16 |
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22/02/20 20:00:05 |
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30/01/20 8:00:04 |
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Sequel to 'Babe: Pig in the City'. --Karyn Harrison
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"I like dressing with my chips." 19/01/20 8:01:23 |
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02/12/19 12:21:24 |
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17/10/19 11:01:47 |
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When you've finally given up on the idea of ever having sex again... 12/10/19 19:13:35 |
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I still have sex twice a day, five times a week...It still counts if you're on your own...doesn't it.?? --stone face
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03/10/19 19:01:30 |
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13/09/19 11:35:28 |
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14/08/19 11:57:44 |
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29/06/19 11:20:08 |
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17/06/19 7:28:53 |
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15/06/19 8:14:08 |
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"Ok, there's my nan. Remember to tell her we've all got girlfriends and they're on a hen weekend." 06/05/19 8:05:10 |
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He's making a Mastiff mistake. 01/05/19 12:00:02 |
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"You should've seen my goatee." 18/03/19 12:01:05 |
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Looks like size does matter when it comes to attracting birds. 15/03/19 22:42:30 |
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09/02/19 12:00:04 |
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02/01/19 8:23:23 |
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31/12/18 12:00:04 |
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more captions
"As-lan as you're lion-ing around, mind if I finish that hock?"
2:10pm
comment on caption:
"The vet says she's suffering from Narnialepsy." [Stephen Bean]
I know someone with a band of that name (Weapons of Ass Destruction).
7:41pm
comment on caption:
Weapon of ass destruction [Stephen Bean]
Not only that, how did it apply it to the stick?
9:11am
comment on caption:
"What I want to know is, how did that bloody cat get the superglue?" [Stephen Bean]
Oh great, just when we thought the post couldn't get any SLOWER!
2:09pm
comment on caption:
"6 days getting ready for the postman. The pit has been dug. Just one more stake to sharpen..." [Stephen Bean]
That's really funny Mauris. I'll try to remember to give your comment a vote in a couple of days.
5:26pm
comment on caption:
"6 days getting ready for the postman. The pit has been dug. Just one more stake to sharpen..." [Stephen Bean]
".. a couple of days?" Sooo... you either work for the post office, or you're standing in line at one...
7:46pm
comment on caption:
"6 days getting ready for the postman. The pit has been dug. Just one more stake to sharpen..." [Stephen Bean]
Scooby Screw
12:17am
comment on caption:
Hickeyberry Hound [Stephen Bean]
L'Orange & Peking, a crowd favorite, but roasted by the judges
8:28pm
comment on caption:
Orville & Dean [Stephen Bean]
Under the mistletoe... well, we like to call it whistle-toe... annnd.. that's not really my toe.
10:17pm
comment on caption:
"Please, I'm fed up of touching my elf." [Stephen Bean]
"Soooo... you sure your hubby's alright about sleeping in the barn?"
11:46pm
comment on caption:
They’re good neighbours. [Funny Bean]