Stephen Bean
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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 53 | 131 | #1 | 67 | 215 | #1 | 11164 | 25197 | #4 |
| Photos | 3 | #7 | 10 | 18 | #5 | ||||
| Comments | 820 | 561 | #12 | ||||||
| Forum Posts | 3 | 213 | |||||||
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caption quota: 67
caption votes given since joining: 11,307
comment quota: 11
comment votes given since joining: 821
privatemessage quota: 10
captions
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26/02/20 12:00:54 |
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I'd already decided if I won I wanted to use the money to help caption.me. I've asked Chris if he might consider putting my winnings towards a second prize of £25 for Feb, and a second prize of £25 for March, and otherwise put it towards the c...
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21/04/20 12:00:17 |
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Life's a bitch and then you DIY 11/09/22 12:03:29 |
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08/07/20 12:00:09 |
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01/04/22 12:10:36 |
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Well done Stephen, you certainly rose to that challenge.
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07/10/18 12:00:09 |
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Still better than Vista.
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"Will you guys quit hogging the limelight please." 16/07/22 20:00:37 |
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04/10/19 20:02:43 |
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24/06/22 8:02:43 |
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"Who killed you?" 31/03/22 12:45:46 |
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"You're doing well on your first shift kid. Hold your arms a bit wider, this next one's really big." 01/11/20 8:03:12 |
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08/09/22 8:37:19, edited: 08/09/22 8:38:57 |
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Brilliant! Got me back again though 😂
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24/04/22 20:21:16 |
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The disappearance of Flight 737 remains a puzzle. 12/07/21 12:03:54 |
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"Took me sixty years but I finally remembered which tree I chained my bike to." 29/06/22 12:49:59 |
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"I just hope I can remember the combination."
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17/10/21 20:44:34 |
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...and escorted off the premises. 20/07/21 12:28:58 |
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"Not today love, I've got a monumental headache." 21/04/20 8:01:37 |
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07/04/20 12:12:18 |
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05/04/20 8:25:13 |
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"Hey guys, 6 feet!"
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01/01/20 8:09:43 |
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Mythical beast world championship result: 02/07/19 12:00:14 |
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Lol
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18/03/19 8:00:04 |
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14/09/22 12:20:48 |
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♪ I want to hide my bicycle.. ♪ 09/09/22 12:04:45, edited: 09/09/22 12:08:25 |
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06/05/22 20:23:58 |
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"Sorry to disturb you. I could've sworn I heard my rattle somewhere around here." 09/08/21 20:00:20 |
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02/06/21 8:00:05 |
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Springer? But I don't even know her.
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"Matron's Easter egg hunt gets harder every year." 04/04/21 20:06:38 |
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21/01/21 20:00:04 |
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L'Orange & Peking, a crowd favorite, but roasted by the judges
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"I threw caution to the wind and it came back." 20/11/20 12:26:24 |
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"Sorry guys, I can't eat any more. I'm stuffed." 19/09/20 12:00:07 |
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Now if only I could get up. Somebody's put superglue on my seat.
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07/07/20 12:05:05 |
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Or Gang Bang?
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28/03/20 12:00:05 |
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Scientists are close to understanding why women live longer than men. 04/03/20 12:00:05 |
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One of the most difficult jobs in the world is to give a sick whale a suppository. 16/01/20 20:16:12 |
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Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle. 04/04/19 8:26:24 |
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"Can you tell me how many lives you have left?" 22/10/21 20:00:34 |
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"It's a dangerous mission but we need one volunteer to cross the road..." 24/09/21 12:00:30 |
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05/05/21 8:00:06 |
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04/02/21 8:00:06 |
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20/11/20 20:36:54 |
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13/10/20 12:12:25 |
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14/09/20 12:01:23 |
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30/03/20 8:00:12 |
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18/10/19 20:00:10 |
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Mmmm, bishop takes king.... Is this cathedral in Prague? Then the joke is Czech, mate. :^)
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NASA unveil the new rover for their next moon landing. 22/03/19 12:29:53 |
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Right so you could be my Auntie Edna or my Uncle Harold or even Chirpy my pet budgie ..
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Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says she's 'fine'. 14/03/19 20:05:54 |
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08/01/19 12:00:04 |
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"I'm not sure I'm cut out for this kind of exercise." 05/09/22 8:00:12 |
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31/08/22 12:08:47 |
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Young people don't respect their elders nowadays. 04/07/22 12:06:33 |
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27/06/22 8:18:05 |
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27/05/22 8:00:10 |
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"What an amazing coincidence. They've both put Rohypnol in each other's drink." 21/11/21 20:28:36 |
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06/10/21 12:05:57 |
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Thank you, it's an honour to have inspired such a great caption. I remember thinking a nod was unnecessary lol.
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"I put my heart and sole into my art." 06/07/21 8:00:05 |
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I put my art and soul into my heart.
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25/05/21 8:08:06 |
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"I don't know why they bother with that sign." 07/12/20 12:14:20 |
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Ouch... :-)
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The last episode of Thomas the Tank Engine was brutal. 24/10/20 14:07:05 |
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22/10/20 20:22:28 |
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06/06/20 8:00:22 |
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How on earth did they get my real picture?
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30/03/20 8:00:05 |
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"Can you stop taking photos and lift my bicycle down for me please love?" 28/03/20 12:24:49 |
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I've got to hand it to you.
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When the neighbour walks by and the car's full of dog food and toilet rolls. 24/03/20 8:02:54 |
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18/03/20 13:27:19 |
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Don't do it Guy. If you go near her you'll need all the hand sanitiser you can get.
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Labrador for sale: in mint condition. 16/03/20 20:00:12 |
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19/11/19 8:00:03 |
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16/09/19 8:00:04 |
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04/09/19 8:09:03 |
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Always slice a cucumber before feeding to your tortoise. 23/11/18 21:52:32 |
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There's big bucks in the fashion industry. 30/10/18 8:08:30 |
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"How did you get on with the hare spray?" 12/09/22 12:05:52 |
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11/09/22 20:00:34 |
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31/08/22 12:45:27 |
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21/08/22 8:00:11, edited: 24/08/22 11:22:26 |
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"Can you lift me up please Daddy?" 19/08/22 8:23:26 |
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"Shame, I was hoping for some rumpy pumpy." 15/06/22 12:00:12 |
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Children should be seen and not hurled. 16/05/22 20:00:07 |
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Nice play on the original caption, but still not a complete pun (makes sense both ways).
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06/04/22 8:44:56 |
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23/03/22 12:18:29 |
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15/03/22 20:15:01 |
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It was the breast of times. It was the thirst of times.
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17/12/21 13:16:16 |
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20/11/21 9:06:50 |
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Only 43 hours? I thought it was more.
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28/03/21 8:00:10 |
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02/02/21 23:11:10 |
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"I told you not to lick my arse." 03/01/21 20:00:28 |
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''I didn't realise you were being serious. I thought you were saying it tongue in cheek.''
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01/09/20 20:00:11 |
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"It was awful. They skinned me from my head tomatoes." 09/07/20 12:03:43 |
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16/06/20 20:09:20 |
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10/06/20 20:15:41 |
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🎵 "Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive" 29/04/20 20:00:05 |
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few 100 years at least.
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07/04/20 20:00:04 |
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Fay Wray had her favourite part of King Kong stuffed and mounted. 28/01/20 20:01:14 |
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18/01/20 8:00:03 |
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Young people don't respect their elders anymore. 27/09/19 9:19:02 |
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23/07/19 20:00:14 |
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16/07/19 12:00:04 |
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10/07/19 8:09:18 |
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Jesus figured selling selfies on ebay would make him a prophet. 07/05/19 12:02:50 |
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email us
I thought that not to give this a vote would be heartless.
6:28pm
comment on caption:
Coeur park [Stephen Bean]
Bit gutted as when I saw this photo I'd thought "Nurse, would you like to examine my privates?" - "Of course, Sergeant, please send them in", but then I didn't post in time and got pipped. Now that the annoyance of being beaten to the punch has worn off I'll give this the vote it deserves
8:36am
comment on caption:
"Yes sergeant, I'd love to take a look at your privates." [Stephen Bean]
Well he does live in a hot tank. It is a bit like the fiery pit.
8:04am
comment on caption:
"What possessed you to dress him like that?" [Stephen Bean]
Yes, who is your father? - He's got a lot to answer for. You are his child after all. I always blame the parents.
I only say this because some parents get territorial over their children and say they'd die for them. I'd like to see those same parents serve a prison sentence for their children's actions. They are after all one family unit.
1:01pm
comment on caption:
"My father helped me become a normal well adjusted adult. Perhaps that's why I joined caption.me."
Anon, commenter on captions since 2005 [Stephen Bean]
Even better if mispronounced the American way.
8:08am
comment on caption:
"Nice flowers. Who painted them?"
"Van Gogh." [Stephen Bean]
Best excuse ever!
8:16pm
comment on caption:
"No, you've not won yet. My king has 9 lives too." [Stephen Bean]
Rose's are red,
Violet's are blue,
And Jane doesn't wear any.
12:47pm
comment on caption:
"Roses are red, violets are blue, when do I get to go to bed with you?" [Stephen Bean]
Roses are yellow, blue, orange or red.
Based on the name, violets should be violet but are blue, it is said.
Sugar is sweet and it can't be beat whether from a maple or beet.
With those angiosperm reproductive structures on your head,
you look good enough to eat
lying in your flower bed.
2:14pm
comment on caption:
"Roses are red, violets are blue, when do I get to go to bed with you?" [Stephen Bean]
"Mum's the word."
3:46pm
comment on caption:
"You're so romantic Tony. Where did you get all the flowers from?"
"Someone left them lying outside Buckingham Palace." [Stephen Bean]
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡° )
6:54pm
comment on caption:
"I wish you'd quit hogging the bed." [Stephen Bean]