| This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 6 | 5 | #3 | 68 | 131 | #2 | 5489 | 12101 | #12 |
| Comments | 2 | 4 | #2 | 2 | 4 | #2 | 482 | 276 | #16 |
| Forum Posts | 2 | 202 | |||||||
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Stephen Bean
signed up: 2 years ago
profile viewed: 2 time(s) this week
caption quota: 62
votes given since joining: 3,945
super vote quota: 39
I love seeing captions that make me smile and laugh.
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captions
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£50 26/02/20 12:00:54 |
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I'd already decided if I won I wanted to use the money to help caption.me. I've asked Chris if he might consider putting my winnings towards a second prize of £25 for Feb, and a second prize of £25 for March, and otherwise put it towards the c... --Stephen Bean
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21/04/20 11:00:17 |
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Dave was the last to notice Medusa had taken up hang gliding. 08/07/20 11:00:09 |
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07/10/18 11:00:09 |
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04/10/19 19:02:43 |
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"Not today love, I've got a monumental headache." 21/04/20 7:01:37 |
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07/04/20 11:12:18 |
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05/04/20 7:25:13 |
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"Hey guys, 6 feet!" --Scrijjy Doo
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01/01/20 8:09:43 |
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Mythical beast world championship result: 02/07/19 11:00:14 |
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Lol --sandeep chahal
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18/03/19 8:00:04 |
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"Sorry guys, I can't eat any more. I'm stuffed." 19/09/20 11:00:07 |
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Now if only I could get up. Somebody's put superglue on my seat. --Willie Johnson
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07/07/20 11:05:05 |
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Or Gang Bang? --Karyn Harrison
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28/03/20 12:00:05 |
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Scientists are close to understanding why women live longer than men. 04/03/20 12:00:05 |
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One of the most difficult jobs in the world is to give a sick whale a suppository. 16/01/20 20:16:12 |
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Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle. 04/04/19 7:26:24 |
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13/10/20 11:12:25 |
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14/09/20 11:01:23 |
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30/03/20 7:00:12 |
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18/10/19 19:00:10 |
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Mmmm, bishop takes king.... Is this cathedral in Prague? Then the joke is Czech, mate. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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NASA unveil the new rover for their next moon landing. 22/03/19 12:29:53 |
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Right so you could be my Auntie Edna or my Uncle Harold or even Chirpy my pet budgie .. --stone face
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Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says she's 'fine'. 14/03/19 20:05:54 |
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08/01/19 12:00:04 |
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06/06/20 7:00:22 |
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How on earth did they get my real picture? --Woofer 6
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30/03/20 7:00:05 |
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"Can you stop taking photos and lift my bicycle down for me please love?" 28/03/20 12:24:49 |
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I've got to hand it to you. --Scrijjy Doo
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When the neighbour walks by and the car's full of dog food and toilet rolls. 24/03/20 8:02:54 |
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18/03/20 13:27:19 |
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Don't do it Guy. If you go near her you'll need all the hand sanitiser you can get. --James Lennox
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Labrador for sale: in mint condition. 16/03/20 20:00:12 |
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19/11/19 8:00:03 |
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16/09/19 7:00:04 |
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04/09/19 7:09:03 |
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Always slice a cucumber before feeding to your tortoise. 23/11/18 21:52:32 |
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There’s big bucks in the fashion industry. 30/10/18 8:08:30 |
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01/09/20 19:00:11 |
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"It was awful. They skinned me from my head tomatoes." 09/07/20 11:03:43 |
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16/06/20 19:09:20 |
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10/06/20 19:15:41 |
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♫ "Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive" 29/04/20 19:00:05 |
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few 100 years at least. --Dev B
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07/04/20 19:00:04 |
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Fay Wray had her favourite part of King Kong stuffed and mounted. 28/01/20 20:01:14 |
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18/01/20 8:00:03 |
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Young people don't respect their elders anymore. 27/09/19 8:19:02 |
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23/07/19 19:00:14 |
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16/07/19 11:00:04 |
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10/07/19 7:09:18 |
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Jesus figured selling selfies on ebay would make him a prophet. 07/05/19 11:02:50 |
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03/05/19 11:02:24 |
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07/02/19 20:00:05 |
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12/01/19 12:00:04 |
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The Loneliness of the Thong Distance Runner Wed 19:34:50 |
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"I can't see a bloody thing with the son in my eyes." 30/09/20 19:05:05 |
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He's about to get a sonburn, even though he's wearing a sonscreen. --Willie Johnson
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"Noah says he can take the boy, but one of you girls has to stay behind." 29/07/20 20:26:27 |
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"Let's draw straws. The loser has to go with the boy." --Willie Johnson
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It's not easy googling 'how to remove superglue' with your elbows. 10/07/20 19:01:14 |
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How to remove superglue with your elbows? Why not just use your... oh, never mind. --Willie Johnson
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21/04/20 7:00:05 |
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Michael Douglas has not aged well. --Scrijjy Doo
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"I wish the Invisible Man would stop leaving his crap lying around." 18/04/20 19:00:26 |
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"Thank you for holding. Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold…" 14/04/20 19:00:32 |
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If the waiting doesn't do it, the music makes you wish you were dead. --Willie Johnson
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30/03/20 7:02:36 |
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Nice. --Scrijjy Doo
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"Remember, when the waiter appears, you jump in my soup. As soon as he's gone I'll pull you out." 24/02/20 8:00:05 |
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08/12/19 12:00:04 |
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25/09/19 7:20:33 |
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Til death do us-- --Scrijjy Doo
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"I think my sex addiction's cured." 15/09/19 11:23:30 |
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30/07/19 7:00:32 |
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31/05/19 11:00:16 |
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18/05/19 7:00:03 |
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16/05/19 7:00:03 |
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Glad it's not just me that struggles with a Toblerone. 14/04/19 11:14:01 |
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That's cool well done - I love toblerone wish I could find one that big --BAD BOY DENNIS *
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28/11/18 12:01:09 |
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03/10/18 19:00:29 |
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♫ Never store your superglue next to your eye drops ♫ 17/09/20 11:00:07 |
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That will make you sing the glues. --Willie Johnson
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6th form college prepares for visit from Prince Andrew. 20/07/20 19:05:12 |
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"This is the last time I go for a roll in the hay with you." 14/07/20 7:00:05 |
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11/06/20 19:06:11 |
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18/04/20 19:00:03 |
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"F*ck off Daddy her boobs are mine." 20/03/20 8:00:16 |
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"Love, you're not you when you're hungry." 05/03/20 20:00:46 |
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"When I practice golf indoors I always use a tee towel." 26/02/20 20:00:13 |
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I used to use tee towels too, until I got a hole in one --Mark England
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"Honest Noah, they'll be fine if you just leave them in the sea." 13/02/20 8:02:04 |
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Star Wars isn't for everyone's pallet. 07/01/20 12:14:58 |
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Shunned by the video game industry, Pac-Man spends his days finding customers for the local brothel. 22/10/19 11:06:44 |
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17/10/19 11:00:11 |
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28/08/19 19:09:03 |
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12/06/19 7:00:04 |
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13/05/19 19:00:03 |
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12/05/19 19:00:05 |
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26/04/19 7:00:15 |
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16/04/19 11:00:05 |
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20/03/19 12:00:06 |
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Yeah couldn't agree more James, great caption. --The Wolf
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25/02/19 8:00:26 |
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08/01/19 8:00:05 |
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When a caption appears after a few seconds it will probably have been prepared in advance rather than be the result of ''speed and cleverness''. The lucky captioneer will simply be the one who downloads it the quickest. As Karyn points out, it... --Dave Bryan
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26/12/18 20:00:06 |
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"Please officer, can you let me off? It’s my birthday tomorrow." 24/12/18 12:52:15 |
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Rambo’s mission was to shoot the country’s monarch. 10/12/18 8:39:10 |
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13/11/18 20:01:06 |
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Nod to https://www.caption.me/356778https://www.caption.me/277138https://www.caption.me/63354 --Funny Bean
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05/10/20 11:00:08 |
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"Can I join your flock please?" 14/09/20 11:14:30 |
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"Flock, yes." --Willie Johnson
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27/08/20 7:12:52 |
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23/08/20 11:08:57 |
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"My friends were right." 26/07/20 11:49:29 |
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When you think your caption is amazing but it just stays on zero… 09/07/20 19:15:17 |
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If you believe in irony, you can go from zero to hero. --Willie Johnson
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07/06/20 19:25:00 |
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"The only downside to clapping every Thursday is I get to see more of the neighbours." 21/05/20 19:51:33 |
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"Dr. Livingstoned, I presume?" 19/05/20 19:14:09 |
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12/05/20 19:00:06 |
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01/05/20 11:00:12 |
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Number of toilet rolls left on supermarket shelves. 19/04/20 19:05:00 |
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No shit! --Mr Dome
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27/03/20 8:00:37 |
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Bush was right after all. --Scrijjy Doo
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24/03/20 20:00:05 |
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17/03/20 20:00:09 |
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Isn't Spot the Australian in the last picture? --Willie Johnson
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"F*cking genie, I wished I was surrounded by gold, money and pussy." 09/03/20 12:38:57 |
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After losing 8 lives, Schrödinger's cat receives huge payout. 09/03/20 12:15:01 |
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"She was both rich AND poor until I opened the box to take that photo.":^) --Crunchy Chords
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"Jeez, I'm not using that prickly lipstick again!" 04/03/20 8:00:05 |
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I would have posted this caption, but am a little bit late - only about seven hours. Great caption. --Willie Johnson
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23/02/20 20:00:04 |
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Funny! --The Caption Guy
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"It took me a while to work out the formula for Pi." 20/02/20 9:31:07 |
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This sex talk is just ridiculous :) --The Wolf
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"This is the wurst banana split I've ever tasted." 11/02/20 20:06:49 |
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"That's not the sort of child support I'm after Dave." 02/01/20 20:00:10 |
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"How did you get over?" 04/11/19 8:24:58 |
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"He'll fry if he tries to jump back.""How revolting." --Crunchy Chords
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26/09/19 7:00:15 |
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17/09/19 7:06:41 |
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14/09/19 11:00:03 |
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01/09/19 7:35:26 |
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"He reacts like this every time we go to a filling station." 01/08/19 11:00:18 |
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"Jesus Dave, stop giving the mannequins blueberry juice. They keep pissing on the floor." 15/07/19 11:37:26 |
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"Now we can have as much cake as we like!" 20/06/19 11:17:08 |
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17/06/19 19:00:11 |
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Ha ha, just pipped me to it. --Troompa Loompa
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"Sh*t, what a time for the batteries in my xray glasses to run out." 09/06/19 7:01:49 |
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29/05/19 11:00:13 |
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"I’m crap at following instructions from Ikea." 21/04/19 7:41:48 |
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12/04/19 11:05:07 |
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"I've been staring at this photo for 20 minutes... Just noticed the cat." 02/04/19 11:02:50 |
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15/03/19 8:00:06 |
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08/03/19 20:00:03 |
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17/02/19 20:00:06 |
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31/12/18 8:02:11 |
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25/12/18 20:16:21 |
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"Do you think we gave him too much lettuce Charlie?" 08/10/20 23:27:50 |
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"How do I look darling?" 12/09/20 19:00:06 |
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12/09/20 11:01:07 |
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"Genital herpes hasn't affected our relationship at all." 12/09/20 7:19:06 |
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Snooker is more fun with Class A drugs. 07/09/20 7:00:42 |
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29/08/20 7:57:07 |
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Ballbusters! --Scrijjy Doo
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25/07/20 11:00:05 |
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20/07/20 11:04:11 |
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06/07/20 7:38:41 |
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They've increased in number since the Wolf was told to self isolate. 05/07/20 11:40:43 |
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"When did pepper spray become standard issue for postmen?" 30/06/20 7:27:49 |
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14/05/20 19:00:04 |
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12/05/20 11:06:10 |
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11/05/20 11:36:24 |
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With lockdown restrictions finally removed, teenagers set off for their first day back at school. 06/05/20 11:02:45 |
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Booty is in the eye of the beholder. 04/05/20 19:00:10 |
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23/04/20 19:00:17 |
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09/04/20 19:15:37 |
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31/03/20 7:01:51 |
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Comes with a free blubber duck. 27/03/20 12:13:25 |
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26/03/20 8:00:05 |
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🎵 Purple brain, purple brain 🎵 18/03/20 20:08:26 |
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He's a pillar of the community. 07/03/20 20:00:23 |
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"STOP! I'll TALK, I'll TALK. Quit interro-gatoring me." 29/02/20 8:00:16 |
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22/02/20 20:00:05 |
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30/01/20 8:00:04 |
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Sequel to 'Babe: Pig in the City'. --Karyn Harrison
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"I like dressing with my chips." 19/01/20 8:01:23 |
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02/12/19 12:21:24 |
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17/10/19 11:01:47 |
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When you've finally given up on the idea of ever having sex again... 12/10/19 19:13:35 |
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I still have sex twice a day, five times a week...It still counts if you're on your own...doesn't it.?? --stone face
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03/10/19 19:01:30 |
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13/09/19 11:35:28 |
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14/08/19 11:57:44 |
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29/06/19 11:20:08 |
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17/06/19 7:28:53 |
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15/06/19 8:14:08 |
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"Ok, there's my nan. Remember to tell her we've all got girlfriends and they're on a hen weekend." 06/05/19 8:05:10 |
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He's making a Mastiff mistake. 01/05/19 12:00:02 |
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"You should've seen my goatee." 18/03/19 12:01:05 |
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Looks like size does matter when it comes to attracting birds. 15/03/19 22:42:30 |
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09/02/19 12:00:04 |
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02/01/19 8:23:23 |
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31/12/18 12:00:04 |
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When cleaning an elephant enclosure, always keep your vizor down. 08/12/18 10:02:52 |
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04/11/18 12:11:14 |
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"For God's sake Norman, put your foot down or it'll ketchup with us." 10/10/20 19:00:06 |
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21/09/20 7:24:30 |
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I don't know what she sees in him. 16/09/20 7:00:06 |
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Looks like they have Turret's syndrome. 11/09/20 11:02:14 |
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07/09/20 19:00:07 |
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28/08/20 19:20:58 |
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27/08/20 7:00:05 |
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20/08/20 7:00:15 |
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"Damn that fortune telling machine at the carnival. I only wanted to be a few years younger." 16/08/20 11:32:25 |
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"Don't worry, Mr McGregor is shielding. His garden is ours now." 02/08/20 7:10:57 |
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30/07/20 8:20:29 |
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In hindsight Dave should've told the others about his narcolepsy. 22/07/20 11:00:25 |
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23/06/20 19:00:05 |
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11/06/20 19:00:17 |
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This ring isnt big enough for the two of us......ring, I wish, haven't seen mine for years. --Morgan .
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05/06/20 11:05:03 |
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18/05/20 7:00:11 |
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15/05/20 19:00:20 |
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11/05/20 19:22:24 |
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10/05/20 19:00:08 |
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more captions
Give Anon a typewriter, he'll get there eventually, unless he already has done.
9:58am
comment on caption:
"What's it saying, my precious, my love? Is Anon losing his nerve?"
"No! Not! Never! Anon hates nasty captioneerses! Anon wants to see them… dead!"
"It's ours! Ours! We must get the Precious £50! We must get It!"
"Patience! Patience, my love. First we must lead them to her."
She's always hungry. She always needs to feed."
She hungers for sweeter meats. Captioneer meat. And when she throws away the bones and empty clothes, then we will find It!"
"And take it for me!"
"For us."
"Yes, we meant, we meant for us." [Stephen Bean]
Another hate filled Democrat, spread the love.
7:42am
comment on caption:
"Ok, you know the mission, land discretely on Mike Pence and rub the Covid-19 on your feet into his left eye. You did really well giving it to Trump last week."
"Remember, don't hang around afterwards and make sure nobody sees you." [Stephen Bean]
It's just meant to be a funny caption about a fly landing on his head. I'm sorry if it offends you Neil. The intention was just to make people laugh. I decided to do the caption before I even knew who he was and only added the Trump bit when I discovered they were on the same side.
6:39pm
comment on caption:
"Ok, you know the mission, land discretely on Mike Pence and rub the Covid-19 on your feet into his left eye. You did really well giving it to Trump last week."
"Remember, don't hang around afterwards and make sure nobody sees you." [Stephen Bean]
Spot the fox
5:43pm
comment on caption:
The Artic Fox and the Hound [Stephen Bean]
Nod to 8:00:06 not seen - happy to edit if desired
7:02am
comment on caption:
When you think your friend is helping you, always ask yourself whether they're using you to check for crocodiles. [Stephen Bean]
He's already got a hang over.
10:59pm
comment on caption:
If your best man works for NASA, don't let him arrange the stag do. [Stephen Bean]
Chest in time!
7:40pm
comment on caption:
Treasure chest [Stephen Bean]
Ooh, anti-vaxxer bait...
4:08pm
comment on caption:
2022, Covid-19 has been eliminated but questions remain about side effects from the vaccine. [Stephen Bean]
Good to see recycling taken seriously
7:20am
comment on caption:
Close Encounters of the Furred Kind [Stephen Bean]
Nod to Al Overy's mannequin caption.
7:09pm
comment on caption:
If you can keep your mankini when all about you are losing theirs, you'll be a man my son. [Stephen Bean]