| This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 36 | 65 | #2 | 59 | 115 | #1 | 3086 | 5927 | #24 |
| Comments | 1 | 7 | 7 | #4 | 298 | 135 | #27 | ||
| Forum Posts | 4 | 163 | |||||||
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Stephen Bean
signed up: 1 year, 3 months ago
profile viewed: 47 time(s) this week
caption quota: 53
votes given since joining: 1,885
super vote quota: 0
I love seeing captions that make me smile and laugh.
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captions
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07/10/18 11:00:09 |
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04/10/19 19:02:43 |
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01/01/20 8:09:43 |
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Mythical beast world championship result: 02/07/19 11:00:14 |
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Lol --sandeep chahal
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18/03/19 8:00:04 |
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One of the most difficult jobs in the world is to give a sick whale a suppository. Thu 20:16:12 |
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Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle. 04/04/19 7:26:24 |
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18/10/19 19:00:10 |
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Mmmm, bishop takes king.... Is this cathedral in Prague? Then the joke is Czech, mate. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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NASA unveil the new rover for their next moon landing. 22/03/19 12:29:53 |
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Right so you could be my Auntie Edna or my Uncle Harold or even Chirpy my pet budgie .. --stone face
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Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says she's 'fine'. 14/03/19 20:05:54 |
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08/01/19 12:00:04 |
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19/11/19 8:00:03 |
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16/09/19 7:00:04 |
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04/09/19 7:09:03 |
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Always slice a cucumber before feeding to your tortoise. 23/11/18 21:52:32 |
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There’s big bucks in the fashion industry. 30/10/18 8:08:30 |
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Sat 8:00:03 |
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Young people don't respect their elders anymore. 27/09/19 8:19:02 |
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23/07/19 19:00:14 |
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16/07/19 11:00:04 |
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10/07/19 7:09:18 |
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Jesus figured selling selfies on ebay would make him a prophet. 07/05/19 11:02:50 |
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03/05/19 11:02:24 |
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07/02/19 20:00:05 |
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12/01/19 12:00:04 |
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08/12/19 12:00:04 |
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25/09/19 7:20:33 |
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Til death do us-- --Scrijjy Doo
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"I think my sex addiction's cured." 15/09/19 11:23:30 |
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30/07/19 7:00:32 |
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31/05/19 11:00:16 |
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18/05/19 7:00:03 |
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16/05/19 7:00:03 |
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Glad it's not just me that struggles with a Toblerone. 14/04/19 11:14:01 |
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That's cool well done - I love toblerone wish I could find one that big --BAD BOY DENNIS *
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28/11/18 12:01:09 |
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03/10/18 19:00:29 |
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Star Wars isn't for everyone's pallet. 07/01/20 12:14:58 |
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Shunned by the video game industry, Pac-Man spends his days finding customers for the local brothel. 22/10/19 11:06:44 |
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17/10/19 11:00:11 |
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28/08/19 19:09:03 |
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12/06/19 7:00:04 |
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13/05/19 19:00:03 |
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12/05/19 19:00:05 |
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26/04/19 7:00:15 |
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16/04/19 11:00:05 |
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20/03/19 12:00:06 |
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Yeah couldn't agree more James, great caption. --The Wolf
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25/02/19 8:00:26 |
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08/01/19 8:00:05 |
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When a caption appears after a few seconds it will probably have been prepared in advance rather than be the result of ''speed and cleverness''. The lucky captioneer will simply be the one who downloads it the quickest. As Karyn points out, it... --Dave Bryan
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26/12/18 20:00:06 |
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"Please officer, can you let me off? It’s my birthday tomorrow." 24/12/18 12:52:15 |
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Rambo’s mission was to shoot the country’s monarch. 10/12/18 8:39:10 |
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13/11/18 20:01:06 |
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Nod to https://www.caption.me/356778https://www.caption.me/277138https://www.caption.me/63354 --Funny Bean
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"That's not the sort of child support I'm after Dave." 02/01/20 20:00:10 |
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"How did you get over?" 04/11/19 8:24:58 |
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"He'll fry if he tries to jump back.""How revolting." --Crunchy Chords
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26/09/19 7:00:15 |
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17/09/19 7:06:41 |
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14/09/19 11:00:03 |
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01/09/19 7:35:26 |
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"He reacts like this every time we go to a filling station." 01/08/19 11:00:18 |
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"Jesus Dave, stop giving the mannequins blueberry juice. They keep pissing on the floor." 15/07/19 11:37:26 |
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"Now we can have as much cake as we like!" 20/06/19 11:17:08 |
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17/06/19 19:00:11 |
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Ha ha, just pipped me to it. --Troompa Loompa
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"Sh*t, what a time for the batteries in my xray glasses to run out." 09/06/19 7:01:49 |
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29/05/19 11:00:13 |
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"I’m crap at following instructions from Ikea." 21/04/19 7:41:48 |
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12/04/19 11:05:07 |
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"I've been staring at this photo for 20 minutes... Just noticed the cat." 02/04/19 11:02:50 |
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15/03/19 8:00:06 |
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08/03/19 20:00:03 |
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17/02/19 20:00:06 |
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31/12/18 8:02:11 |
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25/12/18 20:16:21 |
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"I like dressing with my chips." Sun 8:01:23 |
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02/12/19 12:21:24 |
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17/10/19 11:01:47 |
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When you've finally given up on the idea of ever having sex again... 12/10/19 19:13:35 |
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I still have sex twice a day, five times a week...It still counts if you're on your own...doesn't it.?? --stone face
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03/10/19 19:01:30 |
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13/09/19 11:35:28 |
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14/08/19 11:57:44 |
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29/06/19 11:20:08 |
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17/06/19 7:28:53 |
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15/06/19 8:14:08 |
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"Ok, there's my nan. Remember to tell her we've all got girlfriends and they're on a hen weekend." 06/05/19 8:05:10 |
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He's making a Mastiff mistake. 01/05/19 12:00:02 |
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"You should've seen my goatee." 18/03/19 12:01:05 |
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Looks like size does matter when it comes to attracting birds. 15/03/19 22:42:30 |
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09/02/19 12:00:04 |
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02/01/19 8:23:23 |
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31/12/18 12:00:04 |
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When cleaning an elephant enclosure, always keep your vizor down. 08/12/18 10:02:52 |
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04/11/18 12:11:14 |
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Sun 12:10:36 |
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I wonder if it's a mother flocker. --Willie Johnson
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10/01/20 8:00:04 |
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09/01/20 8:00:04 |
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14/12/19 12:00:04 |
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"I had a wonderful childhood despite coming from a broken home." 10/12/19 12:03:19 |
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01/12/19 20:00:15 |
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He's been waiting ages for his transfer. 20/11/19 8:16:36 |
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26/10/19 19:08:00 |
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"They'll last many a good year." 17/10/19 19:00:57 |
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04/10/19 7:00:12 |
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30/09/19 11:04:37 |
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"I'd love to wipe that smog expression off his face." 12/09/19 19:16:35 |
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09/09/19 7:04:55 |
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18/08/19 8:32:05 |
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12/07/19 11:00:04 |
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28/05/19 19:00:03 |
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31/03/19 7:31:23 |
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The first pedals will push their way up in spring. 23/03/19 12:03:09 |
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16/03/19 8:00:04 |
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07/01/19 8:00:04 |
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Never go shopping without 'Your Flexible Friend'. 13/11/18 20:06:28 |
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30/10/18 20:00:05 |
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20/10/18 7:00:07 |
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"Something happened to me when I went through the purly gates." 11/01/20 8:02:59 |
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07/01/20 8:00:05 |
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"Daddy, can you get me out please? I'm feeling a little hampered." 03/01/20 8:00:05 |
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24/12/19 12:42:37 |
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01/12/19 20:00:36 |
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24/11/19 12:00:38 |
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02/11/19 20:19:37 |
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28/10/19 8:44:21 |
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27/10/19 8:09:49 |
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"I used to drink beer but got tired of hops." 21/10/19 11:09:30 |
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09/10/19 8:05:29 |
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23/08/19 11:15:34 |
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18/08/19 7:00:58 |
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"Ooh, look at those come to bread eyes!" 17/08/19 8:04:05 |
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28/07/19 7:39:36 |
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Turns out the human brain stores information in chunks. 15/07/19 19:00:07 |
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15/07/19 7:03:50 |
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"I don't want the operation now Doc. The wife's grown quite attached to my hernia." 18/06/19 19:01:14 |
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Come for the hernia. Stay for the rigor mortis. --Scrappy Doo
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*The Emperor* "Hope it's warmer than the last one." 16/06/19 19:00:15 |
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11/05/19 7:02:29 |
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03/04/19 22:12:48 |
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And the worst was the cherry. --Scrappy Doo
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"Let's not involve our insurance companies, it was just a graze." 25/03/19 12:02:14 |
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05/03/19 12:00:04 |
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28/02/19 12:00:05 |
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08/02/19 20:00:25 |
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08/02/19 12:00:04 |
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Fernando had to be a master of disguise to get home in one piece after a show. 11/11/18 21:21:38 |
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Council saves last piece of green belt land. 05/11/18 8:07:53 |
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It's not easy captioning with your left hand... 06/01/20 9:12:22 |
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Government showcases affordable housing for post-Brexit Britain. 17/12/19 8:50:22 |
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12/11/19 20:00:03 |
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29/10/19 12:05:01 |
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In a town like this you get to know everyone's faeces. 21/10/19 7:00:32 |
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When marriage counselling fails you can rely on superglue. 15/10/19 7:01:03 |
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♪ Nick nack paddy whack, give a dog a cone 08/10/19 7:21:07 |
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I need to stop doing these bloody captions, they're eating up all my spore time. 07/10/19 7:28:13 |
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"All my apples have gone missing. Police suspect fowl play." 25/09/19 19:11:01 |
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11/08/19 7:00:39 |
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"Darling, I think your Dad's taken the baby for a walk in the park again." 25/07/19 7:00:11 |
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09/07/19 7:00:10 |
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07/07/19 7:08:26 |
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05/04/19 7:00:04 |
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03/03/19 8:00:20 |
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Is that Morgan Freeman or a phoney? 08/02/19 8:00:20 |
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26/12/18 13:54:02 |
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20/12/18 12:00:15 |
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18/12/18 20:00:06 |
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P-P-Picked up too many Penguins. 21/10/18 7:00:39 |
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07/01/20 12:00:03 |
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It's a double entry of those two figures onto the shelf. --Willie Johnson
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04/01/20 12:06:05 |
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01/01/20 8:46:51 |
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31/12/19 12:03:18 |
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26/12/19 12:00:15 |
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15/12/19 12:03:35 |
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15/12/19 8:03:45 |
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06/12/19 20:06:41 |
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Does anyone else have funny dots on their monitor? 22/11/19 13:25:47 |
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Yes, if you join them up that's my caption.... --Chris Keegan
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This must be where my mother-in-law had her plastic surgery. 21/11/19 13:43:05 |
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"I have no recollection of ever being a prince." 20/11/19 20:10:01 |
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12/11/19 10:07:28 |
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"Have you smelt my beautiful flowers?" 08/11/19 9:01:52 |
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Playtex introduce their new 20,000 volt anti-groper bra. 31/10/19 1:11:47 |
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It's funny how sex in public places loses its appeal as you get older. 15/10/19 7:05:32 |
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13/10/19 19:02:02 |
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06/10/19 11:00:10 |
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05/10/19 11:00:11 |
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20/09/19 11:29:54 |
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The only way to truly appreciate the size of a woman's handbag is to get inside. 03/09/19 11:50:23 |
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"Daddy, these puppy balloons are really hard to blow up." 20/08/19 19:00:16 |
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The Testicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Itch and the Weird-probe 19/08/19 7:18:34 |
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23/07/19 11:11:29 |
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16/07/19 20:53:51 |
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14/07/19 11:18:47 |
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"The doctor said the rash on my face is lupus." 14/07/19 7:00:08 |
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30/06/19 11:01:13 |
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"Last time I buy earrings on the web." 19/06/19 11:00:16 |
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08/06/19 7:02:09 |
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01/06/19 11:00:12 |
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"When someone rings the doorbell to sell you something, 20/04/19 7:27:20 |
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I see in your comment, James, that you were "drinking and voting" again. For those that don't know, the tallying-program takes this into account: If you've had a few too many...it reduces the weight of your voting. So, please, PLEA... --Greg Curtis
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Ironically he went fishing because his wife kept biting his head off… 21/03/19 20:00:21 |
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16/03/19 20:00:04 |
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04/03/19 20:01:19 |
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"Darling, you look ridiculous going to work with your trousers tucked into your socks." 20/02/19 12:00:05 |
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"Do you want to see my mandrill?" 13/02/19 12:01:37 |
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30/01/19 20:01:04 |
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30/01/19 20:00:17 |
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03/01/19 12:04:54 |
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more captions
Yeah, I voted for this one first, then retracted the vote after I read the other, because the two were so similar and 20:00.11 was the earlier posting. But like Dave I prefer this pun-less version, so now I'm unsure which to vote for...
8:56pm
comment on caption:
"I told you to clean out the soil from under your fingernails." [Stephen Bean]
Thank you for the vote Karyn. I was wondering if it would be ok to change Timbrelick to Timbrelike although I'm not completely sure if it's any better.
1:03pm
comment on caption:
Justin Timbrelike [Stephen Bean]
You're welcome. Yes, it's fine by me if you change it.
1:12pm
comment on caption:
Justin Timbrelike [Stephen Bean]
Thought of without seeing 8:27:35
10:48am
comment on caption:
Mrs Groot [Stephen Bean]
Nod to 12:13:14
12:48pm
comment on caption:
Tapeworms can lay Mastiff eggs. [Stephen Bean]
Just another Thursday.
2:20pm
comment on caption:
My boss just asked me why I'm staring at a dog's arse... [Stephen Bean]
I love Turdsdays.... Unfortunately I was zoomed in at the time and told him it looked like his wife's face.
2:53pm
comment on caption:
My boss just asked me why I'm staring at a dog's arse... [Stephen Bean]
It's only a problem if the arse stares back.
9:06pm
comment on caption:
My boss just asked me why I'm staring at a dog's arse... [Stephen Bean]
Nod to 12:12:02 although thought of independently
12:27pm
comment on caption:
Shearing Private Ryan [Stephen Bean]
I wonder if it's a mother flocker.
10:54am
comment on caption:
The Hurt Flocker [Stephen Bean]