Dan Nicholls

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	clever x2 "Oi Noah, wait for us." 08/10/18 8:08:02	4 30
Noah: "Sorry guys, I've zebras and lions on board, I'll improvise." --Pete
	lol x2 creative "Do you remember, a little boy wrote to you 18 years ago asking for a bike and a truck? That was me motherf*cker". 22/09/15 20:06:38	24

	lol "Hello is that customer complaints? I need to return some goods...well, I ordered a leotard". 06/08/15 8:01:16	2 23
From Amazon I presume. :-D --Chris Halliwell
	Raj against the machine. 13/12/22 12:01:13	22

	clever It's a sign of desperation 06/06/18 8:09:42	22

	Can't come out tonight I'm washing my hare. 26/07/15 8:00:23	22

	He really hasn't been the same since we took away his accordion. 28/10/21 8:38:54	21

	lol x2 "PULL" 04/09/21 12:01:48	2 21
If that's what you pull, I think I'll pass. --Willie Johnson
	lol x3 I wouldn't put my arson that. 16/07/19 12:04:15	21

	creative clever x2 Stig of the dump. 08/12/18 8:59:38	21

	Two meeters 24/09/20 21:51:37	20

	Dave had been isolating from his parents for 3 months. Now he is off home with all his washing... 01/06/20 12:14:32	20

	lol Gillette, the best a ma'am can get. 04/05/19 22:07:05	20

	clever Today's stars: Capricorn will be faced with an uphill struggle. 17/01/17 8:08:09	2 20
Please let me give you a (be) xxx --Andrea Hickling
	That's the thing about the festive season, it does dragon a bit. 14/01/17 20:03:37	20

	lol He taught me grammar. There should be a question mark at the end of this sentence. After all, the devil is in the detail. 19/02/16 8:00:07	20

	creative clever Meanwhile, Ironman is inside getting rid of creases in the curtains. 25/09/15 8:39:03	1 20
Should've taken them to Ron Maidens --Mr Dome
	lol x2 creative I see Aldi are doing spa days now 13/12/22 20:04:19, edited: 13/12/22 20:04:31	19

	Babe Roof. 13/09/21 12:35:15	19

	lol creative Don't worry Don, we'll Photoshop the PlayStation controller out. 02/11/19 14:04:28	19

	Arse about face 30/01/19 12:02:09	19

	lol For God's sake Dad, just light the barbecue. 28/01/19 8:13:49	19

	lol Warning: May contain nuts. 06/08/18 14:04:19	19

	creative clever x2 As protest tshirts go, one asking for the abolition of the French word for 'No' is pretty random. 30/08/17 12:01:09	1 19
"Oui did it!" --Greg Curtis
	Love storey. 26/01/16 8:00:54	19

	lol clever x3 Neighbourhood watch crew catches lead thieves red handed. 04/08/15 12:00:05	1 19
Canon Law --Leroy Brown
	lol The cost of living crisis claims more victims today, trying to shake coins out of the sofa. 28/12/22 8:21:56	18

	Terror-cotta 19/12/22 12:33:07	18

	"Hello, is that the vet? Yes, it's my cat. He's eaten an umbrella." 22/06/22 9:33:23	18

	lol x2 "Don't forget to tape Bugs Bunny for me". 31/05/22 12:06:31	1 18
When I said….”shall we get a rabbit to spice things up”….. --Andy Bunting
	creative After losing the first 8 of his lives, Graham was particularly annoyed with the 9th. 18/04/22 12:04:05	18

	My name is Dave and I'm a talcaholic. 22/02/22 20:05:22	1 18
Just seen this great caption but I think 'talcoholic' would be even better. --Dot Old
	lol Leaked photos of Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch on honeymoon. 30/10/19 20:00:36	18

	lol clever FENTON! FENTOOOOOOON! 14/04/19 8:17:42	18

	lol Kicked you out for snoring too has she? 26/11/18 12:35:21	18

	Fifty shades of grave. 07/11/18 20:42:22	18

	Kenny Everest 04/11/18 8:06:41	18

	creative Casper the overfriendly ghost. 15/08/18 9:26:51	18

	creative clever x2 The crafty tortoise had outfoxed the hare again. 14/06/18 12:15:54	18


lol x2 03/02/17 8:01:14		12 18
Thanks all, I love this site and our little community - often cheers me up on a dull day. I bore my wife to tears with it, but it keeps me off the streets... --Dan Nicholls
	lol "Mrs Thompson, it's Joanne next door. We need to talk about Henry. I just don't feel able to sunbathe in my own garden any more..." 26/06/15 12:06:01	18

	That explains why there's always so many bikes in the canal. 25/03/22 10:53:23	17

	lol "Yes sir, aisle three by the squid rings". 15/07/21 12:23:12	17

	That 'No More Tears' shampoo is rubbish. 27/03/20 12:04:42	1 17

	Police have identified a suspect who may have carried out the ram raid on a grab machine at the seaside arcade this weekend. 23/07/18 8:59:32	17

	lol x2 "I f*cking well WILL have a tiger", thought little Timmy. 25/05/16 9:06:32	3 17
Thanks! If I had any supervotes, you'd get all of them :)(edit: Woo woo, I got a supervote!) --Michael Winner
	lol Dog Cotton 29/02/16 12:01:02	17

	lol We went foraging, ate our haul, then the next thing we knew, we were naked in ASDA singing 'Happy Birthday' to a packet of macaroni. 20/02/16 8:39:08	17

	clever Night school 17/01/16 21:14:44	1 17
So how do I get in? Nocturnal admission? --[anon]
	Rolling Stones deny being fossils 14/01/23 8:00:12	16

	Christ! Has anyone carried out a whisk assessment? 17/05/22 12:06:35	16

	The bike test is really harsh in India. 8 examiners accompany you on the day. 02/02/22 12:08:25	16

	Billy Elliott: The Midlife Crisis 27/11/21 8:05:35	16

	lol After you hit 60, it's difficult to guide it in. 10/06/20 12:00:33	1 16
Speak for yourself I'm 66 & still hit bullseye every time. --Morgan .
	A great place to take the family out. 07/05/20 20:00:11	16

	clever No ewe turns 24/07/19 8:22:32	16

	An officer on a gentleman 21/05/19 9:25:57	16

	Cheap, good head and goes down easy. 03/12/18 9:36:29	16

	Placque removal 17/09/18 20:00:18	16

	lol x2 There, that will teach you. Now don't put it in the pencil sharpener again. 03/07/18 21:23:25	1 16
I think he got the point. --John Glover
	Guitar for sail. 11/02/18 21:58:17	16

	Mmmmm, nothing better than nice, crisp sheets. 01/03/16 8:06:17	16

	Now THAT'S a Panic Room. 10/02/16 9:44:52	16

	Short circuit 02/10/15 8:00:04	1 16
BRILLIANT --Bad Boy Dennis.
	Graffiti - wrong on so many levels. 16/09/15 12:04:14	16

	lol Shane was having difficulty coming out to his team mates, despite the numerous heavy hints he dropped. 10/09/15 8:02:43	16

	lol creative I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for mice, I can tell you I don't have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let me go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will shit in your slippers. 04/08/15 8:00:07	1 16
Great minds think alike. You beat me to it! --Greg Curtis
	creative Telegiraffe pole. 23/06/15 8:02:24	16

	Fine, I'll fetch my own damn stick... 12/07/23 12:09:23	15

	creative Deep pan crisp and Steven 06/12/22 20:03:10	15

	lol I said to leave it 10 minutes. 03/05/22 12:11:51	1 15
I think it's dun. --Willie Johnson
	Stuffed frog with Basil 13/12/21 8:51:05	1 15
"A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed." - Basil Fawlty --James Lennox
	lol Kevin, please for the love of God change your trousers. 21/07/21 12:04:01	15

	"No ma'am, you hang the medal round the neck". 22/05/21 8:04:04	15

	Always said she was a hoe. 07/01/21 14:49:38	1 15
Hoe-ly mole-y! --Willie Johnson
	Good morning welcome to McDonald's, have you been waiting long? 16/07/20 8:33:19	15

	Scooby Doo and the mysterious disappearing Scooby Snacks. 28/01/20 12:03:48	15

	The dress caused quite a stir. 08/01/20 8:07:16	15

	Proving once again that The Sun is truly gutter press. 31/12/19 8:48:58	15

	lol Bloody Welsh place names. 04/10/19 12:02:31	15

	Trump appeals for floating voters 03/10/19 20:03:09	15

	Man, overjoyed. Fish, gutted. 11/02/19 8:14:17	15

	...and next on our special music tour, the studios where 'The Clash' recorded 'Should I stay or should I go?' 14/01/19 8:02:59	15

	Bad hare day 06/12/18 12:26:21	15

	"...then you just look through the view finder...am I boring you Mary?" 15/11/18 8:12:45	15

	"Just how many milkshakes do I gotta drink before I bring boys to the yard?" 19/09/18 20:50:55	15

	"Kids, follow me... Kids?" 23/08/18 20:06:34	15

	"Who's got the ring?" 26/07/18 8:03:27	15

	creative Tonight on Dyslexic News, The Beast from the Seat. 03/03/18 8:01:05	15

	He couldn't decide whether or not to dump his overbearing girlfriend. He just needed a sign... 27/11/17 14:00:28	15

	"Nah dude, not tall, I said I would get you high". 15/08/17 8:01:25	1 15
This caption has a nice sense of story. Always my favorite kind of caption: You get a glimpse into the hearts of these people, and we start to imagine both what was said - and what happened - before and after "this scene." Poor little fella. --Greg Curtis
	Willy Elliott 27/07/17 12:03:47	1 15
That was golden lmao I was howling! --Ivana Jerkuov
	lol Timmy Mallett 'fondly remembering' Michaela Strachan. He has a whack a day... 29/12/16 20:05:06	3 15
'utterly brilliant!' --Andrea Hickling
	lol x2 Ahhh, look at the puppy longing for the ball. He will go on longing, for Murray suffers from DOG PARALYSIS. Just Â£2 a month will enable us to give Murray a swift kick up the rear so he can get up. Pick up the phone and give this dog a bone. 06/10/16 8:06:13	2 15
"NICE stroke." --Greg Curtis
	creative "Thank you for coming in today Mr Wilson. We need to talk about your son's attitude in class." 01/09/16 20:47:54	1 15
"Too bad Mrs. Wilson couldn't make it today." --Martin Veith
	Michael Caine-ine 28/07/16 12:00:20	3 15
I'd take out an 'n' and make it Caine-ine. --Darthey Bussell
	The Chair Witch Project. 15/06/16 14:37:18	15

	creative It's an awfully big wrench, but I am going to have to leave you gentlemen. 15/02/16 9:08:57	15

	Creche landing 28/09/15 20:32:29	15

	Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's gasoline. 20/09/23 8:03:18	14

more captions

last comments (total: 355)

Call the SWAT team.

Scrijjy Doo

11/09/22
1:45pm

comment on caption:
Live from the Eiffel Tower, QUICK, WE'VE GOT A JUMPER! [Dan Nicholls]

Underrated! Come on people!

Julia Kinsey

31/12/22
2:30pm

comment on caption:
He's been Ron over [Dan Nicholls]

I find this a very Ron of the mill caption, to be honest, Julia (apologies to author). In my opinion, tortured 'near-puns' have little merit, however many votes they garner. I could just as easily comment 'OVERrated, come on people!' to soooo many entries. Such is the nature of things. But your enthusiasm is to be admired. How boring would life be if we all thought alike.

[anon]

31/12/22
4:06pm

comment on caption:
He's been Ron over [Dan Nicholls]

Julia, I'm liking the spirit you've put into furthering this caption.

Unfortunately, it's all down to fate whether this caption receives any more votes or further appreciation.

Glyn Evans

31/12/22
4:10pm

comment on caption:
He's been Ron over [Dan Nicholls]

Well thanks for entering into a bit of debate. I love puns and all the captions are very clever. A lot of very witty contributors!

And it’s supposed to be fun!

Julia Kinsey

31/12/22
4:46pm

comment on caption:
He's been Ron over [Dan Nicholls]

Fun, yes, Julia. But you should also allow for a bit of passion. "Una vida sin pasion no es vida," as the Spanish say most Tuesdays. FELIZ ANO NUEVO!

[anon]

31/12/22
5:35pm

comment on caption:
He's been Ron over [Dan Nicholls]

Why do the Spanish say a life without passion is not a life every Tuesday?

Glyn Evans

31/12/22
8:15pm

comment on caption:
He's been Ron over [Dan Nicholls]

Because to say it on Thursdays would be nonsensical. Unless you live in Seville, of course.