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| Captions | 1 | #22 | 12 | 26 | #15 | 8159 | 15541 | #11 | |
| Comments | 1 | 275 | 297 | #21 | |||||
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Dan Nicholls
signed up: 6 years, 4 months ago
profile viewed: 146 time(s) this week
caption quota: 53
caption votes given since joining: 3,848
comment quota: 10
comment votes given since joining: 120
super vote quota: 237
Pun addict, Dad, lummox. I like jaffa cakes.
Town/City: Westgate-On-Sea
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08/10/18 8:08:02 |
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Noah: "Sorry guys, I've zebras and lions on board, I'll improvise." --Pete
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22/09/15 20:06:38 |
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"Hello is that customer complaints? I need to return some goods...well, I ordered a leotard". 06/08/15 8:01:16 |
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From Amazon I presume. :-D --Chris Halliwell
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06/06/18 8:09:42 |
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Can't come out tonight I'm washing my hare. 26/07/15 8:00:23 |
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16/07/19 12:04:15 |
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08/12/18 8:59:38 |
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24/09/20 21:51:37 |
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Dave had been isolating from his parents for 3 months. Now he is off home with all his washing... 01/06/20 12:14:32 |
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Gillette, the best a ma'am can get. 04/05/19 22:07:05 |
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Today's stars: Capricorn will be faced with an uphill struggle. 17/01/17 8:08:09 |
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Please let me give you a (be) xxx --Andrea Hickling
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That's the thing about the festive season, it does dragon a bit. 14/01/17 20:03:37 |
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19/02/16 8:00:07 |
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Meanwhile, Ironman is inside getting rid of creases in the curtains. 25/09/15 8:39:03 |
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Should've taken them to Ron Maidens --Mr Dome
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Don't worry Don, we'll Photoshop the PlayStation controller out. 02/11/19 14:04:28 |
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30/01/19 12:02:09 |
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For God's sake Dad, just light the barbecue. 28/01/19 8:13:49 |
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06/08/18 14:04:19 |
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As protest tshirts go, one asking for the abolition of the French word for 'No' is pretty random. 30/08/17 12:01:09 |
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"Oui did it!" --Greg Curtis
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26/01/16 8:00:54 |
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Neighbourhood watch crew catches lead thieves red handed. 04/08/15 12:00:05 |
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Canon Law --Leroy Brown
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Leaked photos of Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch on honeymoon. 30/10/19 20:00:36 |
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14/04/19 8:17:42 |
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Kicked you out for snoring too has she? 26/11/18 12:35:21 |
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07/11/18 20:42:22 |
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04/11/18 8:06:41 |
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Casper the overfriendly ghost. 15/08/18 9:26:51 |
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The crafty tortoise had outfoxed the hare again. 14/06/18 12:15:54 |
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£50  03/02/17 8:01:14 |
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Thanks all, I love this site and our little community - often cheers me up on a dull day. I bore my wife to tears with it, but it keeps me off the streets... --Dan Nicholls
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26/06/15 12:06:01 |
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"Yes sir, aisle three by the squid rings". 15/07/21 12:23:12 |
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That 'No More Tears' shampoo is rubbish. 27/03/20 12:04:42 |
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23/07/18 8:59:32 |
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"I f*cking well WILL have a tiger", thought little Timmy. 25/05/16 9:06:32 |
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Thanks! If I had any supervotes, you'd get all of them :)(edit: Woo woo, I got a supervote!) --Michael Winner
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29/02/16 12:01:02 |
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20/02/16 8:39:08 |
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17/01/16 21:14:44 |
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So how do I get in? Nocturnal admission? --[anon]
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After you hit 60, it's difficult to guide it in. 10/06/20 12:00:33 |
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Speak for yourself I'm 66 & still hit bullseye every time. --Morgan .
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A great place to take the family out. 07/05/20 20:00:11 |
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24/07/19 8:22:32 |
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21/05/19 9:25:57 |
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Cheap, good head and goes down easy. 03/12/18 9:36:29 |
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17/09/18 20:00:18 |
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There, that will teach you. Now don't put it in the pencil sharpener again. 03/07/18 21:23:25 |
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I think he got the point. --John Glover
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11/02/18 21:58:17 |
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Mmmmm, nothing better than nice, crisp sheets. 01/03/16 8:06:17 |
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10/02/16 9:44:52 |
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02/10/15 8:00:04 |
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BRILLIANT --Bad Boy Dennis.
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Graffiti - wrong on so many levels. 16/09/15 12:04:14 |
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10/09/15 8:02:43 |
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04/08/15 8:00:07 |
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Great minds think alike. You beat me to it! --Greg Curtis
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23/06/15 8:02:24 |
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Kevin, please for the love of God change your trousers. 21/07/21 12:04:01 |
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"No ma'am, you hang the medal round the neck". 22/05/21 8:04:04 |
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07/01/21 14:49:38 |
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Hoe-ly mole-y! --Willie Johnson
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Good morning welcome to McDonald's, have you been waiting long? 16/07/20 8:33:19 |
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Scooby Doo and the mysterious disappearing Scooby Snacks. 28/01/20 12:03:48 |
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The dress caused quite a stir. 08/01/20 8:07:16 |
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Proving once again that The Sun is truly gutter press. 31/12/19 8:48:58 |
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04/10/19 12:02:31 |
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Trump appeals for floating voters 03/10/19 20:03:09 |
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11/02/19 8:14:17 |
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14/01/19 8:02:59 |
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06/12/18 12:26:21 |
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"...then you just look through the view finder...am I boring you Mary?" 15/11/18 8:12:45 |
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"Just how many milkshakes do I gotta drink before I bring boys to the yard?" 19/09/18 20:50:55 |
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23/08/18 20:06:34 |
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26/07/18 8:03:27 |
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Tonight on Dyslexic News, The Beast from the Seat. 03/03/18 8:01:05 |
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He couldn't decide whether or not to dump his overbearing girlfriend. He just needed a sign... 27/11/17 14:00:28 |
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"Nah dude, not tall, I said I would get you high". 15/08/17 8:01:25 |
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This caption has a nice sense of story. Always my favorite kind of caption: You get a glimpse into the hearts of these people, and we start to imagine both what was said - and what happened - before and after "this scene." Poor little fella. --Greg Curtis
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27/07/17 12:03:47 |
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That was golden lmao I was howling! --Ivana Jerkuov
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Timmy Mallett 'fondly remembering' Michaela Strachan. He has a whack a day... 29/12/16 20:05:06 |
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'utterly brilliant!' --Andrea Hickling
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06/10/16 8:06:13 |
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"NICE stroke." --Greg Curtis
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"Thank you for coming in today Mr Wilson. We need to talk about your son's attitude in class." 01/09/16 20:47:54 |
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"Too bad Mrs. Wilson couldn't make it today." --Martin Veith
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28/07/16 12:00:20 |
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I'd take out an 'n' and make it Caine-ine. --Darthey Bussell
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15/06/16 14:37:18 |
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It's an awfully big wrench, but I am going to have to leave you gentlemen. 15/02/16 9:08:57 |
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28/09/15 20:32:29 |
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31/12/20 8:47:17 |
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"...and that's why my pants were round my ankles officer.' 08/06/20 8:03:26 |
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Life for Dave was hard. The only known squirrel in Britain with a nut allergy. 31/05/20 12:04:50 |
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05/04/20 8:34:17 |
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I know a Charmin little restaurant... 04/04/20 8:00:40 |
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Blue cross sale on 'til Easter, when prices will rise again. 22/02/20 8:52:28 |
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* Manger's special --Mr Dome
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09/09/19 20:05:54 |
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Guns don't kill people, raffles do. 28/06/19 9:31:11 |
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I call this series: Pubes I found in the bath. 15/06/19 20:43:19 |
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18/02/19 12:07:44 |
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12/02/19 8:17:51 |
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Ironically, she was caught shoplifting in Boots. 05/10/18 8:01:30 |
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Perhaps she's well trained. --Funny Bean
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"Ooh you smell like porridge!" 17/08/18 8:18:08 |
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06/08/18 20:16:00 |
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Aisle 18: morning-after pills --Crunchy Chords
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18/07/18 10:43:18 |
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Lisa suddenly realised that she had left her bobble hat boiling on the stove. 16/03/18 8:01:25 |
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That made me laugh. --Hannah Jones
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28/02/18 12:30:12 |
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Ello ello ello, what's bin going on 'ere then? 13/02/18 9:11:10 |
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18/10/17 20:01:02 |
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"F*cking, bloody twat cannons." 27/09/17 12:04:03 |
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You tape the high road and I'll tape the low road. 17/02/17 8:12:27 |
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more captions
Hoe-ly mole-y!
8:50am
comment on caption:
Always said she was a hoe. [Dan Nicholls]
They might need a bottle if the last coal mine here is going to shut in 2022.
7:41pm
comment on caption:
I would like to share a bottle of this with the fellow who brought us this coal, but alcohol cannot be served to miners... [Dan Nicholls]
This is why we don't give Karen Red Bull.
2:07pm
comment on caption:
Red Bull for Karen is it? [Dan Nicholls]
It's a no from me too, but it's nice to see The Stray Cats trying to make a comeback.
4:41pm
comment on caption:
Cheryl: "It's a no from me pet". [Dan Nicholls]
"Oooh baby, now we're cooking with gas."
12:36pm
comment on caption:
Food porn [Dan Nicholls]
"Keith, we received your blood work results from the lab. You'll be happy to know, we did find almost 6% blood in your gravy & syrup."
10:42am
comment on caption:
Keith has always wrestled with his weight [Dan Nicholls]
I've seen more attractive party babes.
3:49pm
comment on caption:
I've booked him for Lucy's 3rd birthday party babe... What's that look for? [Dan Nicholls]
"Actually, it wasn't David, he'd never do such a thing - it was that Chris Packham."
1:31pm
comment on caption:
"OK, you're safe now. Tell me, where did David Attenborough touch you?" [Dan Nicholls]
I am with you - was going to say Terry Nutkins, but was unsure as to audience recognition!
7:28pm
comment on caption:
"OK, you're safe now. Tell me, where did David Attenborough touch you?" [Dan Nicholls]
The Oblamers
1:38pm
comment on caption:
Starting their new tribute band, Obamarama. [Dan Nicholls]