Dave Bryan

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	clever x2 When Tom saw what was happening on the other side of the lake he decided to take a gander. 15/04/23 8:25:17, edited: 15/04/23 8:26:48	1 27
Curiosity chilled the cat. --KimJong Pun
	''Waiter, will the pizza be long?'' ''Yes.'' 04/01/23 20:00:14, edited: 04/01/23 20:00:38	27

	lol creative x2 clever ''Hello, Derbyshire police, it's Tom here. I've just seen a couple walking their dog.'' 31/03/20 8:04:05	26

	The Emperors' new clothes 20/01/23 8:00:42, edited: 20/01/23 8:00:59	25

	lol ''The conference hall bar is now open, if anyone would like to purchase a gottle o' geer.'' 16/10/22 12:01:00	25

	Cold Trafford 10/04/23 8:00:09	24

	lol Stoned baked pizza 08/08/21 20:20:57	24

	''Read the small print, Billy. The Devil is in the detail.'' 08/04/23 8:07:49	23

	lol ''It's not my fault the nest is a shambles. The instructions were in Swedish and three of the twigs were missing.'' 16/06/22 20:29:20	23

	lol ''What have you got to say for yourself?'' ''Meow.'' 15/10/21 12:09:02	1 23
Your cat clearly helped you with this one Dave! --Chris Keegan
	''I love a nice cup of coffee in the middle of the mourning.'' 14/05/23 12:19:07	22

	creative ''If only we could have had the blizzard before your mother arrived.'' 31/12/22 8:20:07	22

	lol ''I wish he wouldn't throw the stick so far.'' 03/12/21 20:25:23	2 22
Let seeking dogs fly --Glad You Remember
	''Darling, we need to re-seed the lawn. That bear patch looks terrible.'' 20/05/21 8:01:33	22

	''Let me come with you, Johnny. Don't leave me here alone. I won't be a nuisance. Please, I'm begging you. Listen to me, I'll die if you go.'' ''For Christ's sake, Martha, I'm only putting the bins out.'' 16/08/20 20:49:00	22

	lol ''How are you going to cure me?'' ''Just Like That!'' 26/02/20 12:03:06	10 22
I had a teacher who used to set his alarm for 3am so he could get up and have a ciggy... --James Lennox
	''Don't worry, his Bach is worse than his bite.'' 17/12/18 8:00:36	22

	''If you buy ten packs, we'll throw in the towel.'' 08/11/18 20:16:31	14 22
Many thanks for the kind comments. Looking at the quality of the previous winners, I'm delighted to now be one of them.The dosh will also come in useful. Next time my wife says ''Are you wasting your time doing those stupid captions again... --Dave Bryan
	Another half-arsed idea 27/04/23 8:03:31	21

	lol ''I don't like this cheese, dad. Where's The Laughing Cow?'' ''Your mother will be home later.'' 23/02/23 12:28:11	21

	lol creative BREAKING French step up security on Calais coast. 17/11/22 8:01:05	21

	WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Somewhere near her ankles. 04/11/22 8:15:14	21

	''Nightingale?'' ''No, I'm going to the pictures after dinner.'' 15/09/22 8:03:57, edited: 15/09/22 8:07:29	1 21
I once went out with a girl named Gayle. She had a terrible wind problem. --James Lennox
	''I can't see Newcastle avoiding relegation, Gary. They're just too exposed at the back.'' 26/03/21 8:33:21	21

	lol ''This is a station announcement for all those passengers wishing to commit suicide: The train due to be arriving on platform 1 will now be arriving on Platform 2.'' 27/05/20 21:12:30	2 21
Looks like there'll be no departures today. --Karyn Harrison
	''I'm absolutely worn out, prowling round Essex all night trying to find a virgin.'' 01/05/20 12:13:13	21

	Early gurning centre 14/08/19 8:02:06	21

	clever 🎵 Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner............. 15/05/23 12:00:38, edited: 15/05/23 12:02:02	20

	This photo looks like it has been digitally enhanced. 28/04/23 8:00:10	20

	Buoy scouts 24/04/23 8:16:18	20

	Later that afternoon Dave fell and killed himself working on the flat above. But that's another storey. 10/02/23 20:05:24	20

	''When did you first notice it was different to your right foot?'' 19/11/22 8:03:52	20

	lol Another graduate from the Theresa May School of Dancing. 24/09/22 8:01:47	20

	''Does anyone else want to object to the wedding?'' 05/09/22 20:04:56	20

	lol ''Why can't we go any faster, dad?'' ''There's probably a woman ahead holding up the traffic.'' 03/01/22 8:21:01	20

	lol ''On reflection, thirty quid does seem a bit cheap for a luxury spa weekend.'' 18/11/21 8:02:43	20

	''She's going to need plastic surgery.'' 17/05/21 20:00:15	20

	clever x2 Sadly, Daisy is still trying to find a byre for her paintings. 19/02/21 12:13:20	20

	lol New 'Ice Age' movie ruined by product placement say critics. 16/07/20 8:33:51	20

	lol clever ''He didn't suffer. He fried in his sleep.'' 30/06/20 20:00:38	1 20

	lol clever ''I look down on him because I am a Waitrose pumpkin.'' ''I look up to him because he is a Waitrose pumpkin but I look down on him because he is an Aldi pumpkin. I am a Tesco pumpkin.'' ''I know my place.'' 18/11/19 9:06:02	2 20
Very clever! --Karyn Harrison
	Gay pride 19/08/19 8:00:09	1 20

	lol ''Don't mention the War-burtons.'' 08/10/18 21:26:05	2 20
Took me a while .... but a vote worthy fun caption. --John Glover
	The buck stops here 14/06/18 12:00:17	20

	''When did you first notice the pain in your right shoulder?'' ''When you started squeezing it.'' 20/05/23 20:04:58, edited: 21/05/23 7:57:32	5 19
Is this a doctored doctor joke? --Al Overy
	lol ''Does my plum look big in this?'' 31/03/23 12:00:55, edited: 31/03/23 12:01:19	2 19
"not at all,looks like you've lost a stone" --KimJong Pun
	Crush hour 16/02/23 20:00:40	19

	clever ''Mummy, why doesn't this tit work?'' ''Because he's a lazy bastard.'' 17/11/21 20:01:03	19

	clever ''Good afternoon. I'd like to talk to you about Cod.'' 13/06/21 12:13:25	3 19
Holy mackerel! --Willie Johnson
	creative ''Am I OK here, Vincent?'' ''Actually, I've changed my mind. I think the painting will be better without you in it.'' 15/09/20 8:15:47	19

	lol x2 clever Shortly after this photo was taken, the penguin on the left was eaten by a seal. Please take this into account when you are posting your captions. 02/07/20 12:43:32	4 19
2 days in and it looks like the Â£50 prize is already buggered for the month. Great caption. --James Lennox
	''Can I have some mice in it?'' 22/08/19 8:00:24	19

	clever The museum decided to hang the main exhibit slightly left of centaur. 24/02/19 8:05:35	19

	clever That's no mere cat. 14/01/19 12:00:40	2 19

	lol clever Where's Wally: Level 1 21/09/18 12:02:11	19

	Jane decides to leave her Tokyo accommodation. 24/07/18 8:23:17	19

	Although Dave was an experienced photographer, he was still having problems with overexposure. 23/05/23 12:01:19	18

	creative ''A male streaker has just ran onto the pitch, Mildred.'' ''I can't see anything.'' ''What do you expect in this weather?'' 10/04/23 8:21:35	18

	SPORT: BREAKING In a bid to increase their wages, professional female bowlers have begun a series of strikes. 10/01/23 8:02:21	18

	creative Perhaps our American captioneer can explain this vehicle. Is it a boxcar, Willie? 02/01/23 8:08:45	1 18

	lol ''Stand to attention. Form two straight lines. Move when I tell you to move.'' ''They may know the grill, Sarge, but you'll never make soldiers out of them.'' 03/11/22 12:30:52, edited: 03/11/22 12:41:33	18

	clever ''What's that noise, darling?'' ''It'll probably be those bloody kids from next door climbing on the roof again.'' 04/10/22 8:41:43	18

	After a lifetime of hard work he's urned it. 16/11/21 8:01:24	18

	A prize to die for 16/11/21 8:00:13	18

	clever 🎵 Ground control to minor Tom 🎵 12/08/21 12:06:47	18

	''There's something wrong with the clutch.'' 26/05/21 20:09:48	5 18
Looks more like the eggshaust. --John Glover
	clever ''I should keep two metres away from her. She may be a carrier pigeon.'' 17/01/21 9:05:07	18

	''Shit! It's frozen.'' 02/10/20 8:12:13	18

	BREAKING NEWS: Shergar found at Chester Zoo. He had me fooled claims zebra keeper. 17/08/20 20:23:38	18

	lol creative 🎵 Don't Stand So Close To Me 🎵 06/07/20 8:34:47	1 18

	clever x3 ''This isn't fair. We agreed to start the battle this afternoon.'' ''Too bad, Ethelred.'' 05/04/20 9:05:50	1 18

	lol Pen pusher 24/07/19 8:00:10	1 18
The pen is mightier than the sheared. :^) --Crunchy Chords
	The Baralympics 04/05/23 8:06:22	17

	''I always buy big Tesco cucumbers. My husband has only got a Lidl one.'' 18/02/23 12:11:25	17

	Light ale 18/02/23 8:00:17	17

	''You aren't going to believe this, Rover. Two German Shepherds have nicked our sunbeds.'' 29/09/22 8:04:58	17

	''You may now give the bride a kiss on the lips or, if you prefer, a peck on the cheek.'' 18/07/22 8:03:23	17

	''Joe has been the head gardener here for many years.'' 19/06/22 12:02:36	1 17
It keeps him in trim. --John Glover
	''This kind of behaviour in public doesn't bother me. I just turn a blind eye to it.'' 04/05/22 20:11:54	1 17

	''There used to be nine members of staff until I let one go.'' 15/11/21 20:01:57	17

	''Oh no! There's a leek in his nappy.'' 10/09/21 20:07:48	1 17
"Did you take a leek, or are you just happy to see me?" --Willie Johnson
	clever ''How did Polly get out of her cage?'' ''She used the escape key.'' 09/06/21 12:24:46	2 17
But she ended back where she started when she hit return. --Willie Johnson
	clever ''I can't understand why you worry so much about pandemics. We're always the first to get the vaccine.'' 06/04/21 12:32:19	4 17
"Your votes are still climbing" - like monkeys. --Willie Johnson
	She works in the intensive scare unit. 31/03/21 8:37:42	17

	creative ''Hurry up. The tooth is killing me.'' 16/03/21 8:01:15	2 17
Only at 2:30. --Molly R
	creative BREAKING NEWS: Daisy's second lunar mission ends in failure. (But the little dog still has a good laugh) 16/02/21 20:02:51	3 17
A moo launch? --Glyn Evans
	Meals On Wheels 14/12/20 8:00:12	17

	''I'm very confident of future growth.'' 26/09/20 12:21:39	17

	lol BREAKING NEWS: Kangaroo leap frog champion suffers setback in first round. 24/08/20 12:08:19	17

	Reese with her spoon 18/12/19 8:27:59	17

	''You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.'' ''Get some glasses.'' 30/10/19 8:16:23	17

	She may be Maiden America but the flag was probably maiden China. 28/07/19 12:14:04	17

	lol IAAF ban South African women's relay team. 03/05/19 20:03:33	17

	Primer donnas 06/09/18 12:13:13	17

	''Since taking anabollic steroids, I've had a new Lisa life.'' 22/08/18 20:46:45	17

	''She died several hours ago, Holmes. Do you suspect foil play?'' 09/05/23 20:28:42	1 16
Alumentary... --Peter Houle
	''Can he do any other tricks?'' ''Yes, he can make food disappear.'' 26/04/23 12:31:49	16

	The Beached Boys 20/04/23 12:02:19, edited: 20/04/23 12:16:28	16

	''Don't you find rats a problem?'' ''No, they moved out last month.'' 01/03/23 12:18:01	16

	''She's a nice girl but she can't hold her drink.'' 28/02/23 20:15:03	16

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Dave Bryan

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