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Dave Bryan

signed up: 1 year, 2 months ago
profile viewed: 59 time(s) this week
caption quota: 37
votes given since joining: 1,636
super vote quota: 4

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captions

''Don't worry, his Bach is worse than his bite.''

17/12/18 8:00:36

£50
WINNER

''If you buy ten packs, we'll throw in the towel.''

08/11/18 20:16:31

Many thanks for the kind comments. Looking at the quality of the previous winners, I'm delighted to now be one of them.The dosh will also come in useful. Next time my wife says ''Are you wasting your time doing those stupid captions again... --Dave Bryan

lol

''Don't mention the War-burtons.''

08/10/18 21:26:05

Took me a while .... but a vote worthy fun caption. --John Glover

The buck stops here

14/06/18 12:00:17

clever

The museum decided to hang the main exhibit slightly left of centaur.

24/02/19 8:05:35

14/01/19 12:00:40

Where's Wally: Level 1

21/09/18 12:02:11

Jane decides to leave her Tokyo accommodation.

24/07/18 8:23:17

Primer donnas

06/09/18 12:13:13

''Since taking anabollic steroids, I've had a new Lisa life.''

22/08/18 20:46:45

''You've done watt?''

02/04/19 23:08:28

Southpaw

02/08/18 8:00:12

lol

''Just shoo it away, darling.''

25/03/19 12:13:42

lol

''Bye, dad.''

''Bison.''

25/03/19 12:00:39

Forlawn mower

09/03/19 8:00:11

He's been using factor 50/50 again.

20/08/18 8:47:30

''Do you comb here often?''

07/03/19 20:05:48

😂 Haven’t got any supervotes this week but wanted to tell you that after seeing this pic for time, I think your caption is really funny 😁 --Karen Oakenfull

''The drinks are on me.''

01/01/19 12:13:00

I reckon this caption would be even better without the first half. --Molly R

Goldfish

28/12/18 12:00:56

lol

''Sod the Milk Tray. Get me back to the surface.''

14/12/18 12:35:23

''Oops, I've dropped the baby down the toilet.''

15/11/18 12:03:43

"I baptize you Floaty McFloatface." --Karyn Harrison

clever

A recent survey suggests that 3 out of 10 people have difficulty opening Windows.

12/08/18 8:08:57

As he walked through the back streets of Marseille, Pierre began to notice some pain underneath his right arm.

17/06/18 12:02:18

Pantyhose

19/02/18 8:02:57

''Order! Order! Order! Order! Order!''
''What's that noise?''
''It sounds like The Speaker.''

08/04/19 8:21:40

clever

''They always come to Sainsbury's with me. They collect the nectar points.''

04/04/19 8:04:40

Warning: Heavy Plant Crossing

05/12/18 20:00:28

Shia delight

14/10/18 12:10:13

''Darling, when I said she wanted a Magnum.....''

25/09/18 20:47:49

Men Behaving Sadly

15/08/18 12:01:10

''Apparently, the company isn't doing very well. They've had to call in the receivers.''

19/06/18 13:36:14

''Nan, do you have a sound system?''

''Yes, I take cod liver oil capsules everyday.''

24/03/19 8:32:50

Darth Spader

23/03/19 8:19:19

Land Phil

16/03/19 13:42:10

''We need to take Rex to the vets.''

19/02/19 8:01:15

clever

''We find that most visitors come to see George Best's liver.''

03/02/19 8:53:11

lol

''I've just come back from the doctors. I keep getting a ringing noise in my ear.''

01/02/19 12:05:08

Hound of the Maskervilles

20/01/19 12:01:17

Rebel Without A Claus

22/12/18 8:01:14

Scowl

23/10/18 12:00:08

Face painting

06/09/18 12:00:15

''Don't look so smug. The dart missed.''

11/08/18 21:11:51

This caption really leaves me wanting to know what happened next. --Pussy Galore

Lily spots a peeping tom.

27/07/18 8:00:19

Looks like urine agony.

06/06/18 8:16:30

lol

Budget cutbacks impact on Hitchcock remake.

06/03/18 13:29:43

''Well done, Chris. You bastard.''

02/04/19 8:06:32

Twin Beaks

17/02/19 8:00:32

''It's one of The Joker's traps, Batman. This is Norfolk.''

29/01/19 8:02:34

Norfolk 'n beautiful women --Mr Dome

''I've just tested him for cat nip, Sarge. He's well over the limit.''

23/08/18 8:29:33

''An Even Better Day Out'' - Wallace & Gromit

01/08/18 12:12:05

Brushing twice a day helps prevent bum disease.

28/07/18 21:29:14

And irritable vowel syndrome. --Karyn Harrison

I knew she would never finish that jumper.

16/06/18 8:07:23

Headbutt

03/06/18 8:18:10

''And, furthermore, I find your captions only moderately amusing.''

13/04/19 8:12:34

D'or handles

13/02/19 20:00:59

''This sunburn is killing me. I should have married someone with bigger tits.''

18/01/19 20:28:17

''When happy hour starts there's usually a stampede.''

30/11/18 20:01:20

Raleigh discovers America

23/11/18 8:00:22

The poor birds have had the stuffing knocked out of them.

12/11/18 20:03:18

One Foot In The Gravel

09/11/18 12:01:30

''Miserable bastard! I only had one foot on the seat.''

22/10/18 8:29:54

Arctic Circle line

22/10/18 8:00:16

lol

He's definitely out according to Auk-Eye.

20/09/18 11:33:57

Underarm tactics

31/07/18 8:04:47

Whatever the opposition, Schwarber usually got the runs.

19/04/18 8:16:18

Daniel Craig begins to regret turning down the next Bond movie.

04/01/19 20:11:31

04/01/19 8:00:44

28/10/18 20:45:05

09/10/18 20:00:36

New research proves that bottle fed babies are happier.

22/09/18 8:00:30

''I've got a new lead.''

08/08/18 12:01:32

''I've no idea what happened to Dorothy.''

15/07/18 8:19:10

''On reflection, let's go to the jewellers first.''

19/06/18 12:09:25

Good comment, Pussy. I hadn't seen it either. --Pete

Camerarderie

25/04/18 8:55:42

Crowds flock to see The Dying Scotsmen

22/03/18 8:30:02

''Your basket or mine?''

09/04/19 8:01:51

''Your chip will be arriving shortly, sir.''

30/03/19 9:11:30

Theresa May invites some friends over for dinner:

''Stop moaning about the food. It's either my meal or no meal.''

11/03/19 14:02:50

Her cup runneth over.

01/02/19 8:02:34

Party animal

08/01/19 23:31:08

He was just another nobody.

26/12/18 8:09:50

clever

Bed of nails

22/12/18 12:00:58

The Tragic Roundabout

18/11/18 21:33:17

''We'll need a crane to shift that turd.''

15/11/18 13:33:51

''Try and find something more interesting than two yellow buses.''

15/11/18 8:11:28

Light-headed

09/11/18 20:00:33

Granny Smith

02/11/18 12:00:11

The comfortable back rest is the icing on the cake.

26/09/18 12:04:18

''Wave it while you can. We are cutting it off in the morning.''

13/09/18 20:12:54

2B or not 2B?

08/09/18 20:00:55

''Pedro had his tail bitten off last night. Don't let them pin it on you.''

17/08/18 8:29:30

Sadly for his girlfriend, his erection disappeared in a puff of smoke.

15/08/18 8:13:22

''She's already won three tournaments this year, in spite of some difficult drawers.''

01/08/18 20:51:58

Deep sea jiver

01/07/18 13:22:23

Bob couldn't remember if the sun rose in the east or the west and then it dawned on him.

19/06/18 8:14:48

''How do you like being a pillar of salt?''

''Not a Lot.''

08/04/18 12:26:47

The Big Diaper

03/04/18 8:17:24

'' Excuse us for looking. We don't mean to primate.''

17/03/18 8:26:27

''Perhaps I should have cleaned my teeth.''

25/02/18 8:25:18

lol

Tory leadership latest news: Michael Gove is standing.

Thu 12:00:53

''Stop complaining. You shove Whiskas in my face everyday.''

01/04/19 8:09:10

Finger food

30/03/19 8:00:13

''Where are you going, Kitty?''

''To get some mice.''

15/03/19 8:01:09

''I'm playing all the right notes but not necessarily in the write order.''

08/03/19 20:04:25

''That pose is fine, dear. Stop milking it.''

01/02/19 8:03:56

A game of cat and mouth

30/01/19 20:01:02

She uses Surf for all her whites.

19/01/19 8:00:46

Sadly, they didn't see the steam roller coming.

18/01/19 8:04:54

Tree coarse meal

15/01/19 8:06:00

''He hasn't posted a caption for a while but he's still on the site.''

11/01/19 8:16:30

''Look mum. No Andes!''

05/01/19 16:30:10

Anus horribilis

30/12/18 22:13:42

''Could someone take that hairy bum away from my arse?''

30/12/18 22:00:18

Desert Island Disc

28/12/18 20:03:04

The Adoration of the Moggy

24/12/18 8:01:19

''I did not say, 'Stupid reindeer'. I said, 'Stupid reins, deer'.''

21/12/18 8:13:28

Very topical. Nice one! --Pussy Galore

''I can't go yet. I'm not in gear.''

02/12/18 8:26:43

Crank the stick! --Scrappy Doo

Brick teaser

29/11/18 8:05:28

Dial M for Mother

13/11/18 13:19:35

Police chief claims that playing chicken on motorways has reached epidemic proportions.

12/11/18 20:00:11

The Towel & The Pussycat

08/11/18 12:02:10

Walking Heads

29/10/18 20:04:42

''I've been invited to a fur ball.''

29/10/18 8:00:59

Chimp off the old block

20/10/18 8:09:26

Trailer trash

19/10/18 8:00:14

Silver surfer

30/08/18 12:00:18

Last week they used a hamster who moved too fast. They never seem to be able to find a happy medium.

30/08/18 8:14:51

''I've no idea what happened to your Persian rug.''

16/06/18 12:03:23

Helen didn't have an oven so she always had to boil her Swedes.

03/06/18 13:23:00

''Next week we are going to try out a new routine so you musketeer a little bit earlier.''

10/05/18 8:08:07

These are Michael McIntyre's jeans. He's always short on material.

08/05/18 12:10:39

Rover the edge

25/03/18 8:07:53

Reduced For Quick Sale

23/03/18 13:57:11

Painting by Two Loos Lautrec

19/03/18 12:32:45

''I'm hoping to boldly go where no man has gone before.''

09/04/19 12:02:00

Cattle drive

05/04/19 12:00:35

Forget all that crap about the Garden of Eden and original sin, THIS is why we wear clothes.

04/04/19 12:03:51

Speak for yourself! --Karyn Harrison

''All those who have had knee replacements stop showing off and stand up again.''

03/04/19 8:46:06

''I can't understand it. My boy would rather shag his new wife than eat his mother's spaghetti.''

02/04/19 8:23:16

Le main entrance

13/02/19 20:46:32

Little Richard

09/02/19 12:01:09

''Riddle me this, Batman. Try turning the fucking thing off with a pair of gloves.''

07/02/19 20:07:04

Make sure you don't fall out with the driver.

05/02/19 12:05:21

The dangers of sofa surfing

30/01/19 20:02:08

Eggomaniac

28/01/19 12:00:54

''A Wife On The Ocean Wave''

19/01/19 8:12:01

He got it for a thong.

15/01/19 12:30:29

13/01/19 12:10:47

12/01/19 12:46:04

06/01/19 20:01:43

Believe me the Mersey ain't that clear.. --stone face

The latest in hybrid cars

29/12/18 8:22:15

You can get all of his songs on Spotifido.

17/12/18 8:05:19

McAlpine

15/12/18 9:22:29

She was an expert at boosting circulation.

01/12/18 22:16:15

Dixon of Dog Green

28/11/18 8:01:03

Enter The Dragon

12/11/18 8:04:35

''I'm giving up crime fighting. I haven't got the stomach for it anymore.''

21/10/18 8:07:04

Mr Pastry

06/10/18 8:00:27

Fun Fact: Richard Lewis Hearne, the actor who played the character Mr Pastry, was once in the running to play Doctor Who. He was rejected because he insisted on playing the Doctor as the character Mr Pastry. The world was robbed. --Michael Winner

Annie's Got Your Gun.

25/09/18 20:01:33

Inside every alpha male there's a little boy looking for attention.

18/09/18 14:10:38

''Good evening. At last we have some good news concerning Hurricane Florence.''

16/09/18 13:38:47

Three Men In A Coat

12/09/18 20:55:33

''As it's Fresher Week, I gave the counter a good spray.''

30/08/18 20:07:52

''Why do you think I need personal injury insurance, Churchill?''

26/08/18 13:03:07

Wet dreams

30/07/18 8:00:11

creative

''He's not that smart. It took him three goes to pass his test.''

21/07/18 22:38:56

''It's Friday, it's five o'clock, it's crack hair Jack!''

20/07/18 13:16:29

''Just let me pump up the pillow, darling.''

19/07/18 21:41:47

''It's no use. I still can't get a picture.''

13/07/18 8:33:44

Wye?

10/07/18 8:17:56

''Don't flatter yourself. I'm taking a selfie.''

28/06/18 8:44:58

''I know I should have stopped after one packet but it felt like I was on a roll.''

22/06/18 20:33:16

The weeds are terrified of him.

17/06/18 20:24:41

Unauthorised persons will be charged.

13/06/18 8:06:48

These captions are getting cornea every day.

04/05/18 8:02:41

The Tories' idea of sheltered accommodation.

29/04/18 8:06:39

Starbucks

10/04/18 9:26:29

It's Raining Men O'War

14/03/18 10:43:05

NHS Crisis - Government clutching at straws

05/02/18 10:42:12

clever

Brassed off

Wed 20:00:51

lol

''What a dive!''
''Yes, it's Brighton.''

06/04/19 13:01:11

''We are The Village Green Preservation Society....''

03/04/19 8:05:54

Wet dreams

14/03/19 12:00:33

''I didn't realise dogging was so dangerous.''

28/02/19 12:08:03

Downton Grabbey

21/02/19 12:09:43

Black Eyed Ps

04/02/19 8:03:42

''Sadly, I'm going to have to close the cafe, if business keeps dropping off.''

23/01/19 22:11:56

''Can I hear two chameleons calling to each other or is it just a gecko?''

21/01/19 12:05:34

The dove from above

17/01/19 8:08:59

The environmental health officer was not impressed. She had her face in the pancakes and her hair in a bun.

13/01/19 8:31:07

Footrest

12/01/19 14:08:30

''Darling, I said give me a big hug for Christmas.''

30/12/18 12:20:17

Pignic

30/12/18 12:09:22

This is exactly what my great-nephew used to call a picnic when he was little. The only thing that slowed down his appetite was when he grew up, left home and had to buy his own food! ;) --Pussy Galore

Park & Ride

29/12/18 8:00:56

I wouldn't try to spend this coin. It looks a bit fishy.

28/12/18 12:03:01

Bananaharma

19/12/18 8:08:00

''Why is there no carpet in the hallway?''
''Lamb him ate flooring.''

03/12/18 20:09:01

lol

''Brexit, Brexit, Brexit.....''

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

02/12/18 12:16:06

Typhoon Tea

18/11/18 8:11:22

''Good morning, Esther McVey. Would you like a bite of my Christmas dinner?''

02/11/18 12:09:59

more captions

last comments (total: 113)

This car wash has really gone downhill since the Poles went home.

Karyn Harrison

05/04/19
8:58am

comment on caption:
This car wash has really gone downhill since the Poles went home. [Dave Bryan]

Oh. Not something I'd ever thought of, or properly understand, so I'll let the OP decide whether they should revert to it or not ... but if that's what you voted for they probably should.

James Lennox

05/04/19
9:01am

comment on caption:
This car wash has really gone downhill since the Poles went home. [Dave Bryan]

I'm confused.

Karyn Harrison

05/04/19
9:05am

comment on caption:
This car wash has really gone downhill since the Poles went home. [Dave Bryan]

Sorry Karyn. I wasn't the original poster. Like you, just wondering why somebody would change a voted for caption. Maybe it was just a timing issue. Regardless, if it were me I'd change it back to the original that you voted for, then post the different caption as a new entry.

James Lennox

05/04/19
9:10am

comment on caption:
This car wash has really gone downhill since the Poles went home. [Dave Bryan]

I suspect James is not, as I had originally thought, the caption author, but was offering to post a caption you would want to vote for. (Oops, dead heat!)