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| Captions | 27 | 64 | #6 | 27 | 64 | #6 | 7754 | 16513 | #11 |
| Comments | 4 | 1 | #8 | 4 | 1 | #8 | 715 | 738 | #8 |
| Forum Posts | 3 | 13 | |||||||
Dave Bryan
signed up: 3 years, 8 months ago
profile viewed: 0 time(s) this week
caption quota: 69
caption votes given since joining: 6,499
comment quota: 36
comment votes given since joining: 500
super vote quota: 5
My cat helps me with the captions.
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captions
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''Hello, Derbyshire police, it's Tom here. I've just seen a couple walking their dog.'' 31/03/20 8:04:05 |
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08/08/21 20:20:57 |
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''What have you got to say for yourself?'' 15/10/21 12:09:02 |
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Your cat clearly helped you with this one Dave! --Chris Keegan
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''Darling, we need to re-seed the lawn. That bear patch looks terrible.'' 20/05/21 8:01:33 |
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16/08/20 20:49:00 |
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''How are you going to cure me?'' 26/02/20 12:03:06 |
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I had a teacher who used to set his alarm for 3am so he could get up and have a ciggy... --James Lennox
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''Don't worry, his Bach is worse than his bite.'' 17/12/18 8:00:36 |
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£50 ''If you buy ten packs, we'll throw in the towel.'' 08/11/18 20:16:31 |
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Many thanks for the kind comments. Looking at the quality of the previous winners, I'm delighted to now be one of them.The dosh will also come in useful. Next time my wife says ''Are you wasting your time doing those stupid captions again... --Dave Bryan
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''I can't see Newcastle avoiding relegation, Gary. They're just too exposed at the back.'' 26/03/21 8:33:21 |
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27/05/20 21:12:30 |
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Looks like there'll be no departures today. --Karyn Harrison
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''I'm absolutely worn out, prowling round Essex all night trying to find a virgin.'' 01/05/20 12:13:13 |
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14/08/19 8:02:06 |
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''She's going to need plastic surgery.'' 17/05/21 20:00:15 |
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Sadly, Daisy is still trying to find a byre for her paintings. 19/02/21 12:13:20 |
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New 'Ice Age' movie ruined by product placement say critics. 16/07/20 8:33:51 |
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''He didn't suffer. He fried in his sleep.'' 30/06/20 20:00:38 |
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18/11/19 9:06:02 |
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Very clever! --Karyn Harrison
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19/08/19 8:00:09 |
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''Don't mention the War-burtons.'' 08/10/18 21:26:05 |
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Took me a while .... but a vote worthy fun caption. --John Glover
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14/06/18 12:00:17 |
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''Good afternoon. I'd like to talk to you about Cod.'' 13/06/21 12:13:25 |
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Holy mackerel! --Willie Johnson
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15/09/20 8:15:47 |
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02/07/20 12:43:32 |
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2 days in and it looks like the £50 prize is already buggered for the month. Great caption. --James Lennox
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''Can I have some mice in it?'' 22/08/19 8:00:24 |
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The museum decided to hang the main exhibit slightly left of centaur. 24/02/19 8:05:35 |
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14/01/19 12:00:40 |
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21/09/18 12:02:11 |
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Jane decides to leave her Tokyo accommodation. 24/07/18 8:23:17 |
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🎵 Ground control to minor Tom 🎵 12/08/21 12:06:47 |
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''There's something wrong with the clutch.'' 26/05/21 20:09:48 |
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Looks more like the eggshaust. --John Glover
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''I should keep two metres away from her. She may be a carrier pigeon.'' 17/01/21 9:05:07 |
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02/10/20 8:12:13 |
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BREAKING NEWS: Shergar found at Chester Zoo. He had me fooled claims zebra keeper. 17/08/20 20:23:38 |
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🎵 Don't Stand So Close To Me 🎵 06/07/20 8:34:47 |
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''This isn't fair. We agreed to start the battle this afternoon.'' 05/04/20 9:05:50 |
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24/07/19 8:00:10 |
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The pen is mightier than the sheared. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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''Oh no! There's a leek in his nappy.'' 10/09/21 20:07:48 |
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"Did you take a leek, or are you just happy to see me?" --Willie Johnson
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''How did Polly get out of her cage?'' 09/06/21 12:24:46 |
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But she ended back where she started when she hit return. --Willie Johnson
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06/04/21 12:32:19 |
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"Your votes are still climbing" - like monkeys. --Willie Johnson
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She works in the intensive scare unit. 31/03/21 8:37:42 |
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''Hurry up. The tooth is killing me.'' 16/03/21 8:01:15 |
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Only at 2:30. --Molly R
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16/02/21 20:02:51 |
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A moo launch? --Glyn Evans
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14/12/20 8:00:12 |
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''I'm very confident of future growth.'' 26/09/20 12:21:39 |
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BREAKING NEWS: Kangaroo leap frog champion suffers setback in first round. 24/08/20 12:08:19 |
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18/12/19 8:27:59 |
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''You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.'' 30/10/19 8:16:23 |
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She may be Maiden America but the flag was probably maiden China. 28/07/19 12:14:04 |
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IAAF ban South African women's relay team. 03/05/19 20:03:33 |
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06/09/18 12:13:13 |
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''Since taking anabollic steroids, I've had a new Lisa life.'' 22/08/18 20:46:45 |
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''We had to abandon the race. When the greyhounds saw him they wouldn't come out of the traps.'' 29/05/21 8:03:15 |
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Simple fix: put him behind the greyhounds. --Willie Johnson
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21/05/21 20:00:09 |
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''I'm booking you.......for the Inspector's stag do.'' 10/05/21 20:30:05 |
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The captioneers' keep fit group meets every morning at 8.00am. 10/05/21 8:09:10 |
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Mental gymnastics. --Willie Johnson
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She is obviously not in favour of PC. 09/05/21 8:00:09 |
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05/04/21 12:17:11 |
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I almost want to give you a supervote for this one, but it's too close to a painful truth (which isn't funny). --Willie Johnson
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31/03/21 20:24:28 |
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''Who are those f-cking wierdos?'' 15/01/21 20:23:27 |
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Some of their captions are festering... --Mauris Iocus
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13/10/20 20:00:26 |
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''I told you to move the car before they started painting the white lines.'' 25/09/20 12:00:09 |
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13/09/20 8:18:06 |
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It was so sad. He dumped her just before the wedding. 30/07/20 12:00:22 |
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26/06/20 8:07:41 |
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14/05/20 20:14:34 |
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You Play With Matches You Get Burned. --Woofer 6
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I don't mind the fan dancing but I think it's a bit tasteless to bring that dead dog on stage. 06/05/20 8:49:11 |
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One of Van Gogh's earlier paintings before he began to suffer from depression. 03/05/20 12:02:41 |
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17/04/20 21:06:48 |
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''Whereabouts in the UK do you live?'' 11/04/20 12:27:39 |
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I think he's from the Isle of White. --Karyn Harrison
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28/03/20 8:42:18 |
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That bird is not a beginner. He's been around the block a few times. --Willie Johnson
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26/02/20 8:32:41 |
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04/01/20 12:00:24 |
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Wait, I thought he was "Killed by Death". --Willie Johnson
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22/12/19 8:02:28 |
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''Should we go and vote?'' 12/12/19 12:05:21 |
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''What shall we do with the other suspect, Sarge?'' 04/12/19 8:01:58 |
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British police are hoping to have him extradited across the pond. 29/11/19 12:10:17 |
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03/11/19 8:05:37 |
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24/08/19 8:10:16 |
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''I hope the motel is very successful.'' - Well wisher. 12/08/19 8:21:00 |
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02/04/19 23:08:28 |
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02/08/18 8:00:12 |
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''Darling, I don't think it's a good idea for Johnny to be glued to the television all day.'' 21/09/21 8:02:00 |
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06/08/21 20:01:52 |
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''I just can't understand why you won't get vaccinated, Jane.'' 29/07/21 12:07:52 |
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''Please disembark at the rear of the train unless you are near death's door.'' 08/07/21 12:01:22 |
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''Darling, why are you scribbling on the dog?'' 27/06/21 8:10:47 |
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I like the use of Darling. I remember seeing a little shit on a market doing things he shouldn’t of been doing, and his mother was like a check out machine, saying Don’t do that Darling, over and over again with no change of tone or any menace... --Neil Mackenzie
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Someone at Sainsbury's has shown a lack of concentration. 06/03/21 8:00:09 |
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''How much do the council pay you for doing this job?'' 14/02/21 8:26:00 |
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21/01/21 12:01:21 |
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Still sounds like Pussy Riot. --Mauris Iocus
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''Did you find the needle?'' 08/11/20 8:22:17 |
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"No, I'll needle little more time." --Willie Johnson
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''Say something, darling.'' 25/09/20 8:10:59 |
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''Don't forget, two centimetres.'' 21/09/20 20:25:47 |
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''Just hand over the bananas and nobody will get hurt.'' 16/09/20 12:15:32 |
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''I'm the monkey who sees no evil. I went blind years ago.'' 15/08/20 8:07:28 |
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As he was late for an appointment, Jaques decided to have his starter and dessert together. 12/08/20 20:08:05 |
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''Are you responsible for that crack?'' 11/07/20 12:13:46 |
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30/05/20 8:00:13 |
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22/05/20 8:37:20 |
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Captain Tom harassed by groupies. 06/05/20 12:09:52 |
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06/03/20 8:02:44 |
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more captions
"It's ok, he's from Torquay"
12:22pm
comment on caption:
''What is that idiot doing with those lighted candles?''
''It's OK, he's from Barcelona.'' [Dave Bryan]
If it's Isle Wight with you, I think I'll just go home.
10:04am
comment on caption:
Cows, Isle of Wight [Dave Bryan]
I want to and kind of don't want to give you a vote. My dad got severe bed sores while at a nursing home and ended up dying from it. Not to be taken lightly.
10:10am
comment on caption:
''I don't know what all the fuss is about. We get hit and bruised every day at Bedford Care Home.'' [Dave Bryan]
Bernard Manning once said:- for a joke to be funny it has to have an element of truth. Every joke will not be funny to someone, comedy often highlights somethings that everyone knows about but don’t speak about. Willie no disrespect to you or your poor Dad but I have to vote for this caption because of the truthful link between the two subjects.
10:58am
comment on caption:
''I don't know what all the fuss is about. We get hit and bruised every day at Bedford Care Home.'' [Dave Bryan]
Thanks Neil, none taken. I thought the joke was funny so I voted for it as well. But for me it's sad at the same time, so I felt I had to say something. It's fine to make jokes, but we shouldn't forget there's some real suffering behind it.
12:27pm
comment on caption:
''I don't know what all the fuss is about. We get hit and bruised every day at Bedford Care Home.'' [Dave Bryan]
I guess for folk that have experienced something on a first hand basis it may have more gravitas and when joking about it, it may come across as trivialising the subject matter. However that's not always so as humour can also be a way for people to deal with things. Sometimes it's a matter of reinforcing a sense of normality into something unexpectedly tragic or unfamiliar or even to overcome tragedy. At least with humour like this, it engages with the subject matter and acknowledges it's existence by giving it air time. It also provokes further discussion when people then decide whether it's acceptable to joke about it or not.
2:22pm
comment on caption:
''I don't know what all the fuss is about. We get hit and bruised every day at Bedford Care Home.'' [Dave Bryan]
Makes me think of Blackadder Goes Forth, which I believe was popular with veterans of both world wars.
2:43pm
comment on caption:
''I don't know what all the fuss is about. We get hit and bruised every day at Bedford Care Home.'' [Dave Bryan]
I've never been to a funeral where no-one laughs.
Sorry but we need to laugh even at the saddest of times.
3:17pm
comment on caption:
''I don't know what all the fuss is about. We get hit and bruised every day at Bedford Care Home.'' [Dave Bryan]
Blackadder Goes Forth is a great example, Karyn. One of the cast members had a relative that had served in WWI and was disgusted when he heard that they were trying to make fun of the Great War, until he watched it...
8:26pm
comment on caption:
''I don't know what all the fuss is about. We get hit and bruised every day at Bedford Care Home.'' [Dave Bryan]
Your cat clearly helped you with this one Dave!
3:29pm
comment on caption:
''What have you got to say for yourself?''
''Meow.'' [Dave Bryan]