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John Glover

signed up: 10 years, 9 months ago
profile viewed: 254 time(s) this week
caption quota: 44
caption votes given since joining: 10,882
comment quota: 37
comment votes given since joining: 304
super vote quota: 3

profile photos send private message captions comments received

Sad old git who can't seem to keep away from this web site.

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captions

"Boris, there's some policemen at the front door?"

23/06/19 20:16:43

"So Mr Smith, are these all the hallucinogenics you have taken, and how are you feeling now?"

18/02/13 12:15:46

This is cracking :-) --Chris Beach

"Come on out you bastards, I'm supposed to be getting married in half an hour!"

06/07/12 11:11:12

They made me take my silverback.

27/01/15 12:02:16

"Shit, I've left all my groceries at the school gate."

01/03/18 12:46:32

"Why can't we be smuggled into Britain just like the others, in the back of a truck?"

28/07/15 21:46:14

"Yes, I am an architect, but I compile crossword puzzles on the side."

06/02/17 12:18:16

"Shit, so what did we have put down?"

25/01/16 21:58:26

The tourin' shroud.

26/03/14 12:58:08

"I've just come to warn you that Abbot Twa is not a monk whose coming to bless you all."

20/08/19 12:13:45

🎵 A neigh in the manger ...

27/09/18 20:19:40

"You offer three camels to sleep with me, not only is that insulting, I don't even bloody smoke."

22/11/17 11:15:26

And an animal used to barter with (allegedly) in the middle east etc. Just thought iâ€™d explain in case Anon didnâ€™t know that --Mr Dome

27/02/15 12:55:11

Imad did some taxi driving on the side.

23/08/11 11:10:34

I wouldn't tip him. --Guido van der Velden

"The boss said this job had to be FLAWLESS you idiots."

09/09/18 14:04:59

Will Magda and Guri escape? watch next weeks exciting trailer!

12/03/13 12:15:43

"Wow, what a massive fanny, fannyy fannnyyyy fannyyyyy."
"No need to go on about it Clive."
"I'm not, that's just the echo."

09/02/13 11:10:38

I forgot I had super votes! --Dan Dan

"Mum! Brian's up to sumping again."

24/01/13 12:18:25

"Watch out lads, they've just installed an electric fence."

26/08/20 14:08:07

"You bought them cheap from a mate of yours at the cricket club, what's that awful musty smell?"

24/05/20 12:22:07

Passing the buck.

12/05/19 20:45:04

£50
WINNER

07/01/18 10:11:24

Thank you all for your kind remarks. I was just applying our craft.A huge thank you to Chris for keeping this site going. --John Glover

"The fat, ugly overweight bitch wouldn't get up. So I had to take the dog for a walk myself."

25/08/15 12:18:17

Good story. --Greg Curtis

"I've got the drugs guv, as you thought, they were up his arse."

16/06/15 20:42:27

Poor tiddles, that big moth had been his best friend for the last 24 hours. Now he really wished he hadn't invited him to his birthday party.

10/07/21 20:28:09

William realised he had just narrowly escaped death by a couple of feet.

22/05/21 20:49:20

By --Willie Johnson

Will their husbands cheat again? I think the answer is a four gun conclusion.

02/06/20 20:31:35

A serious hold up at the abattoir gave them all time to reflect.

10/12/19 20:26:57

Right from the start Daniel was destined to be a barman.

11/06/19 12:32:06

Well, they aren't going to win a no bell prize.

15/02/19 12:10:26

Imad often did some taxi driving on the side.

13/09/18 20:32:25

This caption was used for a similar photo in 2011 -- but by the same captioneer - so fair play! Great caption! --Chris Beach

Joe promised to wear them, but suddenly got cold feet.

18/11/17 20:06:18

"Oh,Sir, are you going to buy that sex magazine, or what?"

27/06/16 12:09:41

Thank you for not wanking in the shop. --Michael Monkhouse

Glow ball warming.

11/03/15 12:56:46

Dear Frank, thanks for lending me your flat whilst you were away. The Feng Shui course went really well and I took the liberty of getting rid of a few of your things. Unfortunately I left my medication at home and had a severe bipolar episode, and it seems that I must have found your perminant colour set of magic markers. It is at this point I have to mention your beautifly polished white italian marble flooring .....

27/02/15 20:59:13

Slow motion photography.

26/02/15 12:13:24

"I should have chained it up, but I dread locks."

17/09/14 21:12:43

Jim thought about challenging the troops, but was just too wimpy.

24/06/14 13:03:41

Bloody Orange, still can't get a signal.

30/03/14 20:43:50

A four gone conclusion.

23/03/13 12:44:59

"Another fine mesh you've got yourself into."

13/11/12 20:43:34

"I'd prefer a Harp if you've got one."

12/05/12 11:50:44

"What do you mean, 'it's my weekend to have him', I'm in the middle of a bloody game!"

21/04/21 12:17:08

"Either way, you're not going to score." --Willie Johnson

"Have you repaired that sign yet?"
"Don't worry, I'm on it."

21/02/20 21:55:47

"I've got someone coming through called Bruce, does that mean anything to anyone here?"

07/05/18 12:06:34

A call to arms.

04/01/18 13:08:20

21/12/17 13:08:36

24/05/17 12:01:03

"Couldn't they drown?"
"When the tide races in, I think it will be a four gone conclusion."

05/02/16 11:00:43

Yes, foreshore. --Greg Curtis

Tony's business wasn't doing well and went into voluntary liquidation.

19/09/15 21:10:11

"Yes officer, that's the man who was flashing in the park, except he was wearing a big mac."

13/01/15 20:24:57

No point in trying to butter him up, he prefers Marge.

21/06/14 20:28:58

After her massive Lottery win, gran had a message for all her relatives who suddenly decided to visit her after years of absence."

01/06/14 12:12:00

Lucy wouldn't use a note pad, she prefered her face book.

25/05/14 12:33:06

"I've just told the boys at the rugby club that we're gay."

20/05/13 20:23:47

Having been recently knighted for his successful business franchises, Roland became better known as Lard of the Rings.

29/03/13 12:29:03

thank you for that! I must remember to do hash anon first! --John Glover

"Pasta la vista baby!"

28/07/12 12:58:46

"Remember, don't speak at the border crossing Dad, just smile and do as I do."

27/07/12 11:47:40

"Is mum still fast asleep? well open her bedroom door very quietly for me, would you please?"

23/09/14 12:29:40

"Ok, so it's a funeral and not mud wrestling, just smile, keep bowing and walk slowly backwards and hopefully no one will notice."

10/02/14 12:21:07

Talk about LOL you made me splatter my monitor. --Barrie Bullock

" Are you sitting comfortably? well I'll begin, "Once upon a time, a long, long while ago in a far off land, there lived a little girl called Beatrix Potter.."

07/04/13 13:08:16

Chinese philosophy whilst waiting for new hardware store to open. "Just be and queue."

24/02/13 12:08:39

Love it. --Michael Monkhouse

Multiplication tables.

21/09/12 12:10:50

"Grandad, that's the last time I'm patching her up, remember, take your sodding teeth out first."

13/07/12 20:09:52

09/07/12 20:18:06

As Simon coldly watched Daphne plunge over the cliff to certain death, he suddenly realised the seriousness of his situation. she had the cigarette lighter.

07/05/12 20:48:19

John thought passing along the side of the car was the best option, whilst the rest of his team mates went over the top.

16/03/12 20:28:14

£50
WINNER

"Hello madam, sorry to interrupt your sleep, but I'm from the Jehovah's witnesses."

07/02/12 14:53:25

"What's Nelson saying?"
"Not sure, sounds like a load of gobbledy Duke."

18/03/21 21:51:31

Sorry John Glover, I didn't get this one until it was too late. Great caption. More than just a load of gobbledyDuke. --Willie Johnson

"I told you not to call the security guard a useless fat git."

25/11/19 20:05:50

The local Day Nursery 'Get your child home by drone' service was rapidly catching on.

07/05/19 20:39:23

" We are running out of time, underlay underlay Miguel!"

28/03/19 20:16:08

I don't know if this is bad or good, but I keep laughing, so it must be good. --James Lennox

The doctor asked Kevin for a mid stream sample.

09/08/18 13:20:03

Tandem parachute jumps do not always end up as planned.

30/01/18 12:03:49

"Wow, look at the size of its asshole, we can make a fortune from that fish canning company."

28/07/17 12:19:21

12/03/15 20:27:00

"Is he, isn't he."
"What?"
"Looks like Stu Dent is about to vote."

27/07/19 20:41:16

I'm all for wacky captions, but this is a bit too far fetched --The Wolf

"That's to the bastard who stole my drum kit."

29/06/19 12:27:21

My wife believed I was Phil Collins , till she bought me a drum kit.. --stone face

"Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me ..

09/04/19 20:55:39

We bought it at a knockdown price,

17/08/18 23:05:38

"What do you mean, you want to cross the road. Why?"

05/05/18 13:08:10

The Kraken is innocent!

16/02/18 13:10:18

Pancho led a very sheltered life.

22/08/16 20:35:28

This caption is just perfect. I'm back, today, reading it AGAIN: beautifully done! --Greg Curtis

"Dad, looked what I've just swapped for your I phone."

19/04/16 21:04:54

"Come on lads, if the ten of us stick close together there's no chance of anyone being suddenly kidnapped along the dodgey coastal road stage."

04/03/16 20:22:44

Playing the piano with Chas'? --[anon]

02/03/16 10:35:56

"Cuddles is innocent!"

02/02/16 20:09:20

Well, Keith Harris always stuck up for him... --[anon]

"Sorry son, but I've got no idea why Mrs Cohen wouldn't let you in to Samuel's birthday party."

13/01/16 14:01:22

"Ha ha, The advertising agency got that wrong, it should be Cow and Gate."

19/07/15 21:16:02

Well, if this doesn't get rid of his verrucas, nothing will.

07/03/15 20:56:02

"I don't know the sodding password, just let me get to that bloody tree before I burst."

21/10/14 20:24:14

18/10/14 12:06:59

"My wife charges Â£10 for sex, then puts it away for our holiday, a month in Barbados at the end of the year."
"Yeh, my wife does the same. We're off to Butlins for a week in 2017."

07/10/14 20:34:38

Speaking in a whisper. "Now that's a rare site, dung beetles don't often play with their food."

05/04/14 11:30:23

Emptying the skip.

25/03/14 13:01:45

"Looks like she hopped onto the ferry."

06/03/14 20:05:13

"You missed her with the discus, now try the javelin."

29/11/13 20:32:41

"Now lads, the four of us will be quite safe, if we all keep a sharp eye out for that crafty bastard of a fox."

27/10/13 20:46:02

After hearing the screams, like the rest of them, Len looked through the fence only to see an attractive young couple, oblivious to the world, heavily engaged in sex. Not one to waste a business opportunity, Len picked everyones pockets and casually ambled away.

26/11/12 20:55:40

Nigel was determined to win the "Light your own fart" competition.

04/07/12 11:15:38

last comments (total: 646)

I believe the correct spelling is villagerses's.

[anon]

14/06/21
8:45pm

comment on caption:
Unfortunately the villagers attempt to get into the Guinness Book of Records was one huge flop. [John Glover]

It's villagers', Anon.

*Please note, that was a serious grammar comment, but my previous polygoose comment wasn't wink

14/06/21
11:11pm

comment on caption:
Unfortunately the villagers attempt to get into the Guinness Book of Records was one huge flop. [John Glover]

It's a concrete jungle now.

15/06/21
10:49pm

comment on caption:
Lead Elephant : "I can remember when this was all jungle. " [John Glover]

"By the way, where are your parents?"

18/06/21
9:45am

comment on caption:
"Our last food taster cat died from poisoning."
"Gosh, was it your food?"
"No, no, I gave it proper poison, I never really liked him." [John Glover]

I'm not seeing any pornographic about this - am I missing something?

23/06/21
2:21pm

comment on caption:
"Sod bringing a bunch of bananas, he can have an apple instead." [John Glover]

Well, maybe it needs an extra rinse.

01/07/21
2:07am

comment on caption:
"Bugger, I forgot to bring the washing in." [John Glover]

Perhaps a nod to 12: 10: 35

[anon]

15/07/21
12:26pm

comment on caption:
They come from the pacific rim. [John Glover]

She only likes Long Players.

27/07/21
12:51am

comment on caption:
Once she got going, her record was 33 Rev's per minute. [John Glover]

But no Hell P's.

27/07/21
10:13am

comment on caption:
Once she got going, her record was 33 Rev's per minute. [John Glover]

RIP dignity.

Friday
12:52pm

comment on caption:
"Yeh, I can see it now George, you have got a large rip in the crotch of you pants." [John Glover]