lol creative

"Boris, there's some policemen at the front door?"

23/06/19 20:16:43

creative x2

"So Mr Smith, are these all the hallucinogenics you have taken, and how are you feeling now?"

18/02/13 12:15:46

"Come on out you bastards, I'm supposed to be getting married in half an hour!"

06/07/12 11:11:12

They made me take my silverback.

27/01/15 12:02:16

lol creative clever

"Shit, I've left all my groceries at the school gate."

01/03/18 12:46:32

lol x2 clever

"Why can't we be smuggled into Britain just like the others, in the back of a truck?"

28/07/15 21:46:14

clever x3

"Yes, I am an architect, but I compile crossword puzzles on the side."

06/02/17 12:18:16

lol x2

"Shit, so what did we have put down?"

25/01/16 21:58:26

creative

The tourin' shroud.

26/03/14 12:58:08

creative

"I've just come to warn you that Abbot Twa is not a monk whose coming to bless you all."

20/08/19 12:13:45

lol creative

🎵 A neigh in the manger ...

27/09/18 20:19:40

lol x3

"You offer three camels to sleep with me, not only is that insulting, I don't even bloody smoke."

22/11/17 11:15:26

lol creative clever

Brick Leia.

27/02/15 12:55:11

Imad did some taxi driving on the side.

23/08/11 11:10:34

"The boss said this job had to be FLAWLESS you idiots."

09/09/18 14:04:59

lol creative

Will Magda and Guri escape? watch next weeks exciting trailer!

12/03/13 12:15:43

lol x2

"Wow, what a massive fanny, fannyy fannnyyyy fannyyyyy."
"No need to go on about it Clive."
"I'm not, that's just the echo."

09/02/13 11:10:38

"Mum! Brian's up to sumping again."

24/01/13 12:18:25

clever

"Watch out lads, they've just installed an electric fence."

26/08/20 14:08:07

"You bought them cheap from a mate of yours at the cricket club, what's that awful musty smell?"

24/05/20 12:22:07

Passing the buck.

12/05/19 20:45:04

clever

Hover Kraft.

07/01/18 10:11:24

"The fat, ugly overweight bitch wouldn't get up. So I had to take the dog for a walk myself."

25/08/15 12:18:17

lol

"I've got the drugs guv, as you thought, they were up his arse."

16/06/15 20:42:27

Poor tiddles, that big moth had been his best friend for the last 24 hours. Now he really wished he hadn't invited him to his birthday party.

10/07/21 20:28:09

William realised he had just narrowly escaped death by a couple of feet.

22/05/21 20:49:20

clever x2

Will their husbands cheat again? I think the answer is a four gun conclusion.

02/06/20 20:31:35

lol

A serious hold up at the abattoir gave them all time to reflect.

10/12/19 20:26:57

Right from the start Daniel was destined to be a barman.

11/06/19 12:32:06

Well, they aren't going to win a no bell prize.

15/02/19 12:10:26

Imad often did some taxi driving on the side.

13/09/18 20:32:25

Joe promised to wear them, but suddenly got cold feet.

18/11/17 20:06:18

lol

"Oh,Sir, are you going to buy that sex magazine, or what?"

27/06/16 12:09:41

Glow ball warming.

11/03/15 12:56:46

lol creative

Dear Frank, thanks for lending me your flat whilst you were away. The Feng Shui course went really well and I took the liberty of getting rid of a few of your things. Unfortunately I left my medication at home and had a severe bipolar episode, and it seems that I must have found your perminant colour set of magic markers. It is at this point I have to mention your beautifly polished white italian marble flooring .....

27/02/15 20:59:13

Slow motion photography.

26/02/15 12:13:24

"I should have chained it up, but I dread locks."

17/09/14 21:12:43

Jim thought about challenging the troops, but was just too wimpy.

24/06/14 13:03:41

lol

Bloody Orange, still can't get a signal.

30/03/14 20:43:50

A four gone conclusion.

23/03/13 12:44:59

"Another fine mesh you've got yourself into."

13/11/12 20:43:34

"I'd prefer a Harp if you've got one."

12/05/12 11:50:44

lol x2

"Bugger, there was no need for him to hit me, all I said was 'After you mate."

04/05/22 21:18:36

"What do you mean, 'it's my weekend to have him', I'm in the middle of a bloody game!"

21/04/21 12:17:08

"Have you repaired that sign yet?"
"Don't worry, I'm on it."

21/02/20 21:55:47

creative x2

"I've got someone coming through called Bruce, does that mean anything to anyone here?"

07/05/18 12:06:34

A call to arms.

04/01/18 13:08:20

Son shade.

21/12/17 13:08:36

clever

Wise crack.

24/05/17 12:01:03

clever

"Couldn't they drown?"
"When the tide races in, I think it will be a four gone conclusion."

05/02/16 11:00:43

Tony's business wasn't doing well and went into voluntary liquidation.

19/09/15 21:10:11

"Yes officer, that's the man who was flashing in the park, except he was wearing a big mac."

13/01/15 20:24:57

No point in trying to butter him up, he prefers Marge.

21/06/14 20:28:58

After her massive Lottery win, gran had a message for all her relatives who suddenly decided to visit her after years of absence."

01/06/14 12:12:00

Lucy wouldn't use a note pad, she prefered her face book.

25/05/14 12:33:06

"I've just told the boys at the rugby club that we're gay."

20/05/13 20:23:47

Having been recently knighted for his successful business franchises, Roland became better known as Lard of the Rings.

29/03/13 12:29:03

"Pasta la vista baby!"

28/07/12 12:58:46

"Remember, don't speak at the border crossing Dad, just smile and do as I do."

27/07/12 11:47:40

lol x2

"Is mum still fast asleep? well open her bedroom door very quietly for me, would you please?"

23/09/14 12:29:40

lol creative

"Ok, so it's a funeral and not mud wrestling, just smile, keep bowing and walk slowly backwards and hopefully no one will notice."

10/02/14 12:21:07

creative x3

" Are you sitting comfortably? well I'll begin, "Once upon a time, a long, long while ago in a far off land, there lived a little girl called Beatrix Potter.."

07/04/13 13:08:16

Chinese philosophy whilst waiting for new hardware store to open. "Just be and queue."

24/02/13 12:08:39

Multiplication tables.

21/09/12 12:10:50

"Grandad, that's the last time I'm patching her up, remember, take your sodding teeth out first."

13/07/12 20:09:52

Kama Kasis

09/07/12 20:18:06

As Simon coldly watched Daphne plunge over the cliff to certain death, he suddenly realised the seriousness of his situation. she had the cigarette lighter.

07/05/12 20:48:19

John thought passing along the side of the car was the best option, whilst the rest of his team mates went over the top.

16/03/12 20:28:14

"Hello madam, sorry to interrupt your sleep, but I'm from the Jehovah's witnesses."

07/02/12 14:53:25

lol clever

"Don't get her too stoned, we don't want her fast asleep when prince Andrew arrives."

09/01/22 13:59:04

lol

"What's Nelson saying?"
"Not sure, sounds like a load of gobbledy Duke."

18/03/21 21:51:31

"I told you not to call the security guard a useless fat git."

25/11/19 20:05:50

creative

The local Day Nursery 'Get your child home by drone' service was rapidly catching on.

07/05/19 20:39:23

lol

" We are running out of time, underlay underlay Miguel!"

28/03/19 20:16:08

The doctor asked Kevin for a mid stream sample.

09/08/18 13:20:03

creative x2 clever

Tandem parachute jumps do not always end up as planned.

30/01/18 12:03:49

creative

"Wow, look at the size of its asshole, we can make a fortune from that fish canning company."

28/07/17 12:19:21

siloettes

12/03/15 20:27:00

lol x2

"Is he, isn't he."
"What?"
"Looks like Stu Dent is about to vote."

27/07/19 20:41:16

"That's to the bastard who stole my drum kit."

29/06/19 12:27:21

"Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me ..

09/04/19 20:55:39

We bought it at a knockdown price,

17/08/18 23:05:38

"What do you mean, you want to cross the road. Why?"

05/05/18 13:08:10

clever

The Kraken is innocent!

16/02/18 13:10:18

Pancho led a very sheltered life.

22/08/16 20:35:28

"Dad, looked what I've just swapped for your I phone."

19/04/16 21:04:54

lol

"Come on lads, if the ten of us stick close together there's no chance of anyone being suddenly kidnapped along the dodgey coastal road stage."

04/03/16 20:22:44

clever

Ali cat.

02/03/16 10:35:56

clever

"Cuddles is innocent!"

02/02/16 20:09:20

"Sorry son, but I've got no idea why Mrs Cohen wouldn't let you in to Samuel's birthday party."

13/01/16 14:01:22

"Ha ha, The advertising agency got that wrong, it should be Cow and Gate."

19/07/15 21:16:02

creative

Well, if this doesn't get rid of his verrucas, nothing will.

07/03/15 20:56:02

"I don't know the sodding password, just let me get to that bloody tree before I burst."

21/10/14 20:24:14

lol

Airy biker

18/10/14 12:06:59

"My wife charges £10 for sex, then puts it away for our holiday, a month in Barbados at the end of the year."
"Yeh, my wife does the same. We're off to Butlins for a week in 2017."

07/10/14 20:34:38

creative

Speaking in a whisper. "Now that's a rare site, dung beetles don't often play with their food."

05/04/14 11:30:23

Emptying the skip.

25/03/14 13:01:45

"Looks like she hopped onto the ferry."

06/03/14 20:05:13

"You missed her with the discus, now try the javelin."

29/11/13 20:32:41

"Now lads, the four of us will be quite safe, if we all keep a sharp eye out for that crafty bastard of a fox."

27/10/13 20:46:02