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He's a photographer with The Mirror.
10/01/17 16:46:26
It's pointless Richard Osman and Alexander Armstrong trying to hide on holiday.
10/01/17 8:21:51
By 5th January, ideas for using Christmas leftovers are wearing a bit thin.
05/01/17 10:20:44
Macaque hole
08/12/16 20:00:21
Pun jabbers like to be alone at 8 o'clock.
03/12/16 20:30:51
Entrance.
01/12/16 21:52:22
Stan has an itchy bum .... sadly for him, he doesn't know his arse from his elbow.
30/11/16 21:09:12
Scribling Rivalry
16/11/16 21:37:18
Volleybrawl
27/09/16 7:55:32
I still think we should have got some tickets closer to the stage.
23/09/16 7:51:58
"Smell that ..... I'll give you a clue, it's not Scampi Fries."
21/09/16 7:03:57
Roger Fedora.
17/09/16 7:01:26
Knight: "I hope nobody is carrying a pen."
02/09/16 12:41:23
"I've just taken off the petrol cap. I'm trying to run it on bee-pee".
26/08/16 11:14:06
Big Apple Turnover
07/08/16 19:28:57
"Yeah, yeah, I hope I feel better, too."
26/07/16 11:03:59
Coat of Arms
12/07/16 11:23:22
"You think that's bad, he's doing Coq au Vin tomorrow."
13/06/16 7:11:15
Urine denial
09/03/16 12:00:06
Spoiler Alert!
08/03/16 8:00:25
Handing out flyers
28/02/16 9:15:24
You can't judge a buck by it's cover.
06/02/16 12:45:49
Jet setter
05/02/16 20:12:16
"Sorry I'm late but there are 27 lamp posts on the way to your house."
26/01/16 13:47:57
Tarred and Feathered
24/01/16 20:01:50
Leap Frock
22/01/16 20:04:34
Sucker for punishment
11/01/16 12:02:12
"Madam, maybe the cap would be more suitable?"
08/11/15 21:05:54
Young Billy was able to retyre at the age of five and put his feet up
19/10/15 11:03:43
Colonel Sandals
12/10/15 19:43:14
Later on, it transforms into a sea bed.
03/10/15 19:04:59
"Here is a list of previous captions that you can try to pass off as your own"Â
24/09/15 7:00:14
"See Debs, told you it was a good idea to keep the Umbilical cord."
23/09/15 7:00:13
Budgeriguard
06/09/15 11:00:47
Wiguana
01/09/15 19:00:06
Even while off duty, Trevor the Traffic Warden was determined to give the bastard a ticket.
26/08/15 11:00:17
"The fat, ugly overweight bitch wouldn't get up. So I had to take the dog for a walk myself."
25/08/15 11:18:17
The bills are piling up at the door.
21/08/15 19:41:17
"What's that Skippy? You've been shot by an American dentist?"
11/08/15 19:00:06
Sexual graffitication
10/07/15 7:02:50
I keep telling Norman to stop having a slash in the shower...
01/07/15 19:20:18
"Mrs Thompson, it's Joanne next door. We need to talk about Henry. I just don't feel able to sunbathe in my own garden any more..."
26/06/15 11:06:01
Only Stools and Horses
25/06/15 11:25:10
"Peek-a-booze"
24/06/15 11:01:00
" Why are we posing for this photo? "" Because we knead the dough "
18/06/15 7:00:21
Come and have a pop, if you think you're hard enough!
17/06/15 19:21:30
"I've got the drugs guv, as you thought, they were up his arse."
16/06/15 19:42:27
Hawaii Fido
08/06/15 7:00:18
The hare at the back of her head stood up ...
01/06/15 20:34:50
Vowel movements will also not be tolerated.
29/05/15 19:33:21
Chocs away
10/04/15 11:02:01
"Sarge, Sarge, it's time to wake up it's Monday morning."
11/03/15 8:28:01
Are you constipated? Is your toilet full of overgrown flowers? Then you could do with a prune.
07/02/15 20:29:27
"Dave, that's not what I meant when I asked you to sync the files."
02/02/15 12:04:02
Deadly nightshade
30/01/15 23:59:21
It's where Jesus gets his nails done
30/01/15 12:17:00
Reservoir Gods
23/01/15 20:00:32
Parma Sutra
21/01/15 12:00:21
Dead Ringers
21/01/15 8:01:44
Weapon of ass destruction
18/01/15 20:10:30
Bob slay
13/01/15 8:50:16
After the first few years, Peter Parker realised that decapitating his enemies, eating their bodies and displaying their stuffed and mounted heads on his bedroom wall was, perhaps, taking vigilante justice a little too far.
08/12/14 20:05:08
"OK, switch it off, I think she's dead."
18/11/14 21:07:20
She was accused of stealing the outfit, and was grilled by the police for 20 minutes.Â
05/11/14 8:01:00
A Fistful of Doners
22/10/14 7:01:00
Pat and Mick start up a joint venture.
19/10/14 19:04:26
Very colourfoal
18/10/14 19:00:41
“These Temu invisibility cloaks are crap.”
Sun 12:48:20
“For crying out loud Dorothy, what did you say when you clicked your heels?”
Sun 8:02:44
Splitting hares
Sat 8:01:41
The Emperor Strikes Snack
Fri 12:26:27
“Caw”
Fri 8:06:31
"I did warn you there were piranhas in that river Dipsy."
26/11/25 12:18:32, edited: 26/11/25 12:24:44, suggested edits
''It's going to be curtains for you.''
26/11/25 8:07:23
When you can't be arsed flying south for the winter.
20/11/25 21:15:20
"My my, Captain Darling, what large Privates you have."
20/11/25 8:16:58, edited: 20/11/25 8:19:12
Leap of Faith
12/11/25 12:02:31
A Tale of Two Kitties
12/11/25 8:00:29
It's ok, it's just a minor offense.
09/11/25 8:18:29
Cheddar Gorge
07/11/25 12:00:53
When you leave your dog at Grandma's house for the weekend.
28/10/25 14:37:05
Tonight On Panorama...When Botox Goes Wrong.
27/10/25 8:08:38
"It's called letting one's heir down."
23/10/25 11:19:14
“Just take the photo, Tina. It’s 7:58.”
05/10/25 7:11:00
Dave picked the wrong moment to facetime his gran.
04/10/25 7:04:37
My wife does her Chopin in it.
28/09/25 11:03:03
“I wasn’t expecting the pension triple lock.”
22/09/25 7:02:22
Newlydeads
17/09/25 11:05:31
As the Catholic Church claim another miracle, not everyone is convinced that the face in the holy plank of wood is actually Jesus.
13/09/25 11:49:09
“IKEA withdraw Flatley-pack furniture following noise complaints.”
08/09/25 7:39:05
Cleanliness is next to dogliness.
05/09/25 19:06:34
When scuba-diving, ensure your face-mask has a tight seal.
02/09/25 19:16:00
Captioneer responds to edit suggestion.
22/08/25 19:06:10
That moment you remember you have diabetes.
20/08/25 7:21:46
Turns out the Edinburgh Zoo pandas did breed after all...just not with each other
17/08/25 7:48:33
The Jab Four
14/08/25 19:01:55
Bogpuss
13/08/25 11:00:17
After being married to Ken for three years, Barbie stopped making much of an effort.
12/08/25 19:22:43
That's not very mature.
09/08/25 11:24:56
"Do you have an orange face and an elaborate comb over? You need..."
01/08/25 19:02:41, edited: 01/08/25 19:03:10
suggested edits
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