Chris Keegan

When I suddenly saw this in the road I had to break fast.

clever x3

Convenience food.

21/04/19 14:14:53

05/03/19 8:00:15

"I'll have the table cloth please"

10/02/19 9:57:28

This was a tough pic. Well done. --James Lennox

No wonder it's tired, it came in at twenty to one.

16/12/18 12:00:20

I find it odd. --Scrappy Doo

lol x2

Stand up comic

15/04/18 20:04:11

The economy has seriously hit the restaurant trade with many having to reduce the size of their kitchen staff.

16/10/21 20:03:34

Cash test dummies

12/05/19 20:21:22

"Borrow the car? Oh Philip, you do make one laugh sometimes"

16/02/19 12:00:07

Dave landed 137 fish this morning, simply by pulling the plug out.

29/10/20 12:01:38

clever x2

It's a studio apartment.

26/04/18 8:00:11

lol x2

This is incredible , if you screw your eyes up, tilt your head slightly to one side and totally concentrate on the image, after about 5 minutes you'll feel a sharp slap on the back of the head and the missus screaming "you're not on that bloody caption thing again!"

14/01/20 12:17:31

That's a magic "Oi!" --Troompa Loompa

"Darling, when I suggested putting a Garland in the window I was actually thinking of something a bit more Christmassy"

06/12/19 12:00:49

£50
WINNER

Oh Jeeezus, that was a mistake drying off the puppies in the microwave...

08/10/19 8:24:53

A genuine laugh out loud moment for me. Well done, Chris. By the way, I've heard the RSPCA will be paying you a visit later. --Vivvy En

Jack Knickerless

24/06/19 12:54:05

"It's a lemon entry my dear Watson"

Panting by numbers

02/01/19 16:33:06

18/12/18 12:00:41

Reader's Digest

17/12/18 20:00:10

"Not tonight love, I've got a monumental headache"

29/11/18 12:02:47

"...mind if I grab your ASpirin?" --Greg Curtis

Apparently he gets through 2 packs a day.

23/09/21 12:00:07

"Where's gran?"
- "I think she popped out for a hare cut"

11/11/19 8:00:22

Apparently it's a house full of squatters.

21/10/19 20:02:17

"For goodness sake Colin, you and your bloody obsession for taking road kill home..."

26/09/19 8:05:13

Lol --The Wolf

lol x2

Bob Dylan videos aren't what they used to be..

06/06/19 9:23:56

"I suppose a blue job is out of the question?"

03/06/19 22:16:27

Happy hour wasn't going well.

11/03/19 12:09:06

The Hound of Music

17/12/18 8:02:21

Took the mother in law out last night. First punch.

30/09/18 20:11:16

And I'm fryer tuck!

26/02/18 20:02:46

I don't usually do the dogs but I put a monkey on this one

23/02/18 20:11:31

Wicky Leaks

30/05/19 8:00:10

He's a sh*t guitarist, but you should see him playing tennis

04/05/19 15:48:55

Love this --Mr Dome

The firing squad clearly have a sense of humour.

11/04/19 12:34:28

Beach trampolines - Â£5 for 5 minutes. Warning - Do not exceed your time.

06/04/19 9:06:37

It looks like Jones has scored.

11/03/19 8:06:13

"And would Sir like aperitif to go with your meal?"

19/11/18 20:01:18

Staff bullying should not be tolerated

15/10/18 12:00:12

Once again Gary was keen to illustrate how we are just one tiny part of the galaxy

29/06/18 21:21:07

Hi all,
So many thanks for attending our first ever get together, it was fantastic to actually meet all of you. Framed prints of the attached are available online, please note there is an additional charge of £2 for the colour option.
All the best,
Chris Beach.

Mon 20:00:24

I spent most of the 80's listening to The Wall.

06/02/21 18:33:44

I preferred listening to the Doors. --Karyn Harrison

"What was the sell by date on those eggs love?"

04/12/20 12:09:49

"Don't worry, we've still got two days left." --Willie Johnson

From this moment onwards Tina stopped playing on trampolines.

06/07/20 20:15:34

When the coffee shops eventually reopened Rex could only reminisce over his 6 daily walks.

09/05/20 14:04:36

Madame Tussauds reveal waxwork commissioned by The White House. So far it has successfully attended 2 summits, 1 state occasion and a banquet without saying anything stupid.

30/08/19 10:57:08

Boris Johnson places an order. --Molly R

It was the Gillette condoms which gave me serious grief.

28/08/19 12:04:49

clever x3

Julie was beginning to regret buying her bras from Amazon.

04/06/19 22:19:52

Darling, could you just put the landing light on?

22/03/19 20:04:26

Global warming - It turns out the butler did it.

19/11/18 12:00:10

Don't you just hate it when things from Amazon are left outside?

13/10/18 9:11:35

Further tests reveal smoking definitely stunts growth

11/10/18 8:00:50

Darling, have you seen my Good Housekeeping mag anywhere?

09/08/18 8:09:35

"Darling, just to let you know, I'm bringing someone back for dinner tonight"

06/08/18 12:00:20

Black Friday and the wife is spending the whole bloody day online"¦.

24/11/17 12:16:43

"I really don't know where he got it from but it's everytime he's about to take off he's got to point out the emergency exits"

The Cattle of Hastings.

10/10/21 9:46:35

19/09/20 9:18:07

Brothels open up again, but you'll need more than a condom.

25/07/20 13:33:54

Consequently Sharon hasn't lost any knickers off the line in weeks

17/06/20 12:28:22

Dirty bitch hasn't washed any that's why. --Morgan .

Drowning Street

27/05/20 12:06:12

I was a little surprised when she asked, but I'm really hoping she likes the photo of my cock.

04/02/20 8:00:45

She's attempting to kick the habit.

10/10/19 20:00:10

"Why the short face??"

19/07/19 8:00:34

Old. Fashioned.

04/05/19 8:14:34

"Darren, when I asked you to put the TV on...."

22/01/19 20:00:08

I just find at this time of year my colander gets really busy

19/12/18 20:01:32

No batteries required

12/10/18 8:00:11

Drawing eyes on a banana with a felt-tip pen so that it looks like a dolphin is very amusing and it gives me someone to talk to! --Karyn Harrison

It 's ever since i started them on Winalot.

22/08/18 8:13:01

Peeking Duck

05/08/18 8:00:11

Jesus, I really did upset her this time

13/06/18 8:06:42

Igloo

06/05/18 12:00:07

Guys, 4 passengers is the max I'm allowed..what do you think this is..a bloody Tardis??

25/04/18 20:02:29

Fowling the pavement

05/11/17 21:17:57

'Working from home hasn't affected me at all' Said Michael Jones, Director of Lloyds Bank.

25/11/20 8:36:44

Mike detects earth tremors pretty much everywhere he goes.

03/11/20 12:00:33

"I tried that new barbers down the road yesterday"
- "Yeah, me too Dave"

30/10/20 12:04:33

In a moment of magnificent inspiration Kevin and Julie saved themselves thirty quid for a babysitter and went out.

27/10/20 8:00:41

The lights are on but nobody's home. --Willie Johnson

Tom and Dave think it's bloody hilarious nobody can go out clubbing anymore!

26/10/20 12:00:08

They had a boy. Greyam.

22/09/20 12:01:56

Dave was devastated when his mum and dad suggested it was time he moved out.

02/07/20 8:07:42

Yet another blond moment strikes, Linda had an appointment to see the Doc.

26/06/20 12:24:50

Sainsburys are forced to close as a Tate and Lyle delivery goes horribly wrong.

17/01/20 9:13:05

Now in Cinemas - Frozen, number 2.

23/12/19 8:05:40

🎵..the Red-Nosed Reindeer....🎵

20/12/19 12:40:27

Don't know whether the lady's a Dancer or a Vixen! --Karyn Harrison

This wasn't what Malcolm expected when he joined the Army and was told he'd be posted abroad.

19/12/19 21:27:51

It would seem we've signed a new player...

20/11/19 8:00:25

After years of searching it was clear that I had discovered why bears sh*t in the woods.

25/10/19 8:01:46

Faulty Towers

09/08/19 21:33:36

"Quick Dave! Pull your trigger!!!"

26/05/19 8:34:33

"Yes love, it does"

02/04/19 12:02:41

Jesus Christ love, we're only going down the pub for a quick half!

21/01/19 20:06:32

And how was your Bernard Matthews turkey?

27/12/18 10:11:02

I laughed because I had both "bootiful" and "tough as old boots" pop into my head at the same instant! --Molly R

Good old Dave, he spent so long attempting to chip his ball out of the bunker he moved in.

20/11/18 13:50:19

It took me a while to get through that beer but the wife's Christmas present is sorted.

28/10/18 20:02:47

Come on guys, you can clearly see he was down first when the music stopped

03/10/18 20:00:24

At least we were spared the photo of him in the dump truck

30/09/18 12:00:42

James Exceled at swimming.

29/09/18 20:09:59

Dinner Date

15/09/18 8:26:44

I personally didn't like their kitchen but it takes allsorts...

21/11/17 8:16:32

Dave suffers from parking sons.

15/10/21 8:45:15

That's parking son. Only one is left. --Willie Johnson

more captions

last comments (total: 321)

Don't have to go as far as you did an hour or so ago.

30/09/21
10:16pm

comment on caption:
"Darling, it's your turn to walk the dog" [Chris Keegan]

"Okay, OKAY: Can you just chill."

[anon]

01/10/21
3:24am

comment on caption:
"Darling, it's your turn to walk the dog" [Chris Keegan]

The crayfish is an improvement on most of the guests.

[anon]

03/10/21
8:43am

comment on caption:
The quality of guests on The Jonathan Ross Show sink to a new all time low. [Chris Keegan]

It's just one of many Antarctic exhibitions.

Dave Bryan

03/10/21
1:00pm

comment on caption:
"What's a penguin doing in an art gallery?"
- "More to the point, what' an art gallery doing at the South Pole?"
[Chris Keegan]

The Antarctic needed spruced up. Too much wildlife, not enough art galleries

Glyn Evans

03/10/21
8:12pm

comment on caption:
"What's a penguin doing in an art gallery?"
- "More to the point, what' an art gallery doing at the South Pole?"
[Chris Keegan]

And don't be too snippy.

04/10/21
8:38am

comment on caption:
Only friendly captions please, no cutting remarks. [Chris Keegan]

When visitor season is over, they keep it under ice.

04/10/21
8:57am

comment on caption:
"What's a penguin doing in an art gallery?"
- "More to the point, what' an art gallery doing at the South Pole?"
[Chris Keegan]

"Speaking of commuting on the tube, I'm going to get off at the next stop."

07/10/21
8:21am

comment on caption:
"OK, OK, I'm showing off a little but when you've been commuting on the tube for years..." [Chris Keegan]

I can't, it's on the ceiling

Glyn Evans

14/10/21
10:20am

comment on caption:
"Mate, why don't you just lower the telly?" [Chris Keegan]

That's parking son. Only one is left.