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Al Overy

signed up: 3 months ago
profile viewed: 11 time(s) this week
caption quota: 59
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'Never laugh at your own jokes', people keep saying to me. Someone has to.

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captions

lol

"For goodness sake, Ted! I told you not to lie on the dog blanket with suncream on!"

14/08/20 8:00:18

News in today - the army is running out of thick jumpers.

30/08/20 8:03:27

clever

"I recognised you from the thruppenny bits, Ma'am."
"Likewise!"

27/07/20 19:12:29

Little house on the purry

09/09/20 12:29:34

The Floppy Cock Clinic were delighted with their tasteful rebrand.

11/07/20 8:15:43

Ruff sketch

18/09/20 12:03:05

Inkongnito

16/09/20 12:17:08

"Give us a really big wave!"

10/09/20 8:04:41

Spitting image

05/09/20 8:00:06

"No nick-a la sturgeon!"

23/08/20 12:00:12

That's so bad I had to vote for it. --Dave Bryan

"Apart from the holes in the shower curtain, this Bates Motel seems nice love."

17/07/20 12:57:08

'You have successfully booked your haircut appointment.'

Thu 12:10:58

"Can you tell me the quickest way to the loo, please?"

"Are you walking or driving?"

"Walking."

"It's quicker if you drive."

20/09/20 8:04:47

"Are you walking or driving?" "Skipping - 🎵 Skip, skip, skip to my lou". --Willie Johnson

That famous scene from The Whining.

19/09/20 20:00:25

All work and no play makes Jack Russel a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack Russel a dull boy All work and no play makes Jack Russel a dull boy --Glyn Evans

Up here, Fred could only get a couple of baas on his phone.

17/08/20 8:01:12

Be even better with "only get one baa", I reckon. --Molly R

When you have no actual friends and overcompensate.

02/08/20 8:32:05

My first attempt at glass blowing went completely tits up.

21/08/20 20:00:14

Due to Covid, seating arrangements are up in the air.

21/08/20 8:21:39

Miss Guided Missile

13/08/20 8:07:27

Bad news love. The carwash has furloughed me.

09/08/20 20:00:54

Toast modernism.

21/07/20 13:33:20

lol x2

Next on Channel 4, Escape to the Chateau.

10/07/20 8:08:23

Think it must've been taken during lockdown. --Karyn Harrison

We call him Fonzie, as he generally has a bird on each arm.

13/09/20 12:00:15

The sad, unwanted, furry creature sat on the sofa for hours. His only company a teddy bear.

13/09/20 8:02:46

lol

"Right! No more kids!", shouted Mr Melon. "There's no room in the car when we go on holiday!"

11/09/20 8:10:06

"Will you join us?"

"No, I have a table for two."

"I don't blame you dear. You don't want backache."

08/08/20 8:35:03

Whatever possessed you to get up there?

12/07/20 8:04:36

A memorial to our dog Rover
He's buried under this flyover
There he was, chasing a cat
When a steamroller squashed him flat

18/09/20 12:04:49

Love triangle

12/09/20 8:09:25

Felines were running high.

09/08/20 8:41:07

When you're so excited to go swimming, you forget the Alka-Seltzer in your pocket.

04/08/20 15:20:29

"Dear Mrs Smith, due to the current social distancing measures we are unable to provide certain face-to-face services at the clinic. Please bring your stool sample with you to the front desk."

29/07/20 17:42:36

Side effects of too much catnip may include hallucinations...

26/07/20 13:02:01

"Don't cry mum. I'll find Nanny's pulse..."

18/07/20 8:01:37

lol

The uneasy juxtaposition, the anachronistic context, the applaudable rejection of ostentation. Still, it was Gav's jacket and he liked it.

17/07/20 19:22:09

creative

"I caught a fish this big!"

19/09/20 8:00:47

"I caught an entire school, there were this many teachers in it" --Glyn Evans

Deliveroomatism

14/09/20 8:06:18

Bridget Jones's Diarrhoea.

13/09/20 20:00:45

"Here we go... browsing history. I knew it! Dad likes big tits too!"

02/09/20 8:00:18

"Roll up, roll up! Get yer lovely 'No Loitering' signs."

19/07/20 20:04:14

When you have to share a set of headphones but it's fine because you were a bit chilly anyway.

Tue 12:01:52

"Excuse me. Did you know you have a bear behind?"

21/09/20 12:00:15

"Ann's in the shower. I'm, er... looking after her knickers."

16/09/20 12:24:05

"Is that a mark on your specs?"

"Don't be silly. It's a Dave."

06/09/20 20:04:15

Or maybe a Nick? --Willie Johnson

You can't always spot a drug addict but you can look for the signs.

01/09/20 13:03:35

Pygmies - delicious but completely indigestable.

27/08/20 8:01:06

SpongeBob Despair Pants.

09/08/20 20:02:33

Daz: gets everything out. Including your son.

31/07/20 20:45:24

This is my guide dog, Maverick. He's more like my pilot. He's a good boy except for that time he tried to dry hump Kelly McGillis.

20/07/20 8:03:34

Who hasn't? --Scrijjy Doo

The leader of the Green Party's last wish was to be recycled as a hand dryer.

19/07/20 12:10:20

Ted never ran a bath for anyone but himself. He was a selfish bath Ted.

17/07/20 8:22:57

"NO VOTES! NO VOTES!? THREE HOURS I SPENT ON THAT F*@KING CAPTION!!"

Wed 20:03:04

Ha ha, your loss :-D --Glyn Evans

Lion'll Glare

21/09/20 8:00:21

"I'll name that loon in one.":^) --Crunchy Chords

Scarecrowd

20/09/20 12:00:07

Proclaimers - If you must walk 500 miles and then walk 500 more, at least have the sense to take some sandwiches.

18/09/20 8:00:10

PM outlines plans for the Affordable Housing Scheme that's set to deliver thousands of homes in England.

11/09/20 12:15:08

clever

A high grey building...
A bird gets ready to fly,
Wait! Caption forming.

(High Coo)

02/09/20 22:38:23

The writing's on the Gaul.

25/08/20 22:01:40

"Sorry about the mix-up boys. I've cancelled Rentokil now."

31/07/20 15:34:40

"Your new garden water feature is very simple to install..."

26/07/20 22:22:46

Wingledon

24/07/20 12:58:00

lol

Jeff's 'cavorting in nature' portfolio shot was photobombed by an inconsiderate bride and groom.

23/07/20 17:44:21

The time you discover it's never a Mars bar.

12/07/20 20:02:48

'I hear you have a fine case of crabs', said Salty hopefully.

11/07/20 21:02:20

Traffic News - there's a pile-up on the A20 tree.

08/09/20 20:00:14

Fred had been kind and generous but was easily cornered and surprisingly tasty.

28/08/20 8:00:14

Jimmy Krankie started right at the bottom you know.

27/08/20 8:01:55

The arsecrack of Notre Dame

25/08/20 20:12:34

Never before seen photos reveal the set of The Golden Girls after Rose got loaded and went on the rampage.

18/08/20 8:02:45

Everyone remembers where they were when they first saw 'Golden Girls Gone Wild'. --Michael Winner

"Now see here, sister. I'm a desperate man. So are you gonna tell me where the gents is or what?"

16/08/20 20:05:47

Mum had just pulled up which gave The Cat in the Hat about forty seconds to sort his sh*t out.

16/08/20 8:06:15

The killer ostrich kicked the doors off it's cage before devouring a passing cyclist and making it's escape. Back to you in the studio for the weather.

03/08/20 17:19:12

Gulliver should really take more care to keep that ostrich on a lead as a responsible large big bird owner. --Glyn Evans

Moos like Jagger

01/08/20 13:32:23

Wife's new bedspread :(

20/07/20 20:03:23

Top gun dog.

20/07/20 8:00:17

Monday's child is off their face.

08/07/20 12:09:08

Bob's new Jennifer Saunders rucksack was much larger than it had appeared online.

28/06/20 12:35:07

Good job he didn't go for the Dawn French one. --Karyn Harrison

"Tricky", thought Denzil. "Don't know any wife or dog captions..."

Wed 8:01:16

The new 'Slapheads Support International' emblem was very touching.

Tue 12:00:51

Toy story

13/09/20 8:00:06

Bear necessities

11/09/20 20:00:16

"Try again!"
"Woof."
"And again."
"Woof."
"And again."
"Woof."
After a couple of hours Florence concluded that you can't teach an old dog moo tricks.

04/09/20 8:06:50

"Remember that job we did for Mrs Davis?"

"Not half! She had a lovely pear!"

03/09/20 21:16:25

No Richard Gere. By order of the gerbils.

02/09/20 20:45:12

Dear Durex, I'm writing to complain about a foreign body in my johnny...

21/08/20 20:01:11

"Mr Smith, your movements sound very unusual. Please bring your stool sample to the clinic immediately."

21/08/20 8:32:34

"I'm wearing my special thinking cap for stimulating my unconscious mind into propogating giant ideas."

"Wow! What are you thinking?"

"Think I've shat myself."

13/08/20 20:25:51

When you've blown your budget on a space program then can't afford to decorate.

13/08/20 9:41:18

The first leg of Ruth's trip was the most dangerous.

12/08/20 8:08:54

lol

Many of the Chelsea Pensioners were massive Tina Turner fans.

10/08/20 9:26:50

"This is the police. You must disperse now, or we will squirt you with lavender water!"

09/08/20 8:43:20

"If Jimmy Nail asks, you ain't seen me, right?"

05/08/20 21:08:26

Some say the spirit of Michael Portillo still haunts this beach...

03/08/20 20:00:21

"What with this terrible weather we've been having, I expect you're glad of your submersible accomodation?"

31/07/20 16:17:41

As dusk fell, the Transylvanian vicar descended from the belfry.

28/07/20 13:24:32

Sweeney toddler.

13/07/20 12:54:03

'Dear Borrowers, enjoy your surprise. Love Fido.'

09/07/20 8:01:07

"But, MUM! I had a bath last week!"

21/09/20 20:00:10

"Are they that big in real life, dad?"

"Well, son, park rangers need to take on a lot of calories to keep out the cold."

21/09/20 12:47:08

These dogs are trained to sniff out crack.

19/09/20 20:00:48

"Ah, so the house represents Europe and the man with nothing but the shirt on his back, freezing outside but pretending he likes it represents the UK, post Brexit."

18/09/20 20:02:26

Chas & Grave

18/09/20 8:00:25

As Daddy Bear returned from the portaloo, Goldilocks stopped her frantic search for an escape route and tried to act casual.

17/09/20 8:00:27

"How can you tell if he's in the house, Mrs Johnson?"

"Same as most blokes. Skidmarks in the loo."

16/09/20 8:01:45

Ted time story

13/09/20 8:00:17

She likes five portions a day. She's also keen on vegetables.

12/09/20 20:01:18

"Ok, ten down... Adhesive, commonly found in captions, rhymes with buperglue?"

09/09/20 8:00:45

"I'm afraid you've failed your driving test, Mr Spencer."

"... BETTYYY!?"

08/09/20 20:07:16

♫ Looking back over my boulder ♫

06/09/20 8:04:26

Flame grilling is supposed to get rid of unwanted fat, so I moved Billy's chair a bit closer.

01/09/20 20:27:06

That halo's not fooling anyone matey.

30/08/20 20:10:42

"What did the sergeant mean when he said this was as simple as Brexiiiiaaaa..."

30/08/20 8:23:18

Kids these days don't know how easy they have it. If I was insolent, my aunt and uncle would drive over me repeatedly with their new automobile... If I was lucky! Still, we were happy...

29/08/20 12:02:19

"Can't I just have Chaka Demus without the pliers?"

27/08/20 20:13:00

"Just going to drop the kids at the pool, love."

27/08/20 8:00:19

Horse messed nut

26/08/20 13:30:19

Taste of Korea - now delivers fresh to your door!

25/08/20 13:11:51

"A shoe!"

"Bless you."

24/08/20 20:00:14

We'd been friends for many years but I began to feel she was putting Wall's between us.

24/08/20 8:00:20

Spiderman 14 synopsis: Ordinary spider is bitten by radioactive girl then discovers he can talk for England, cry for no reason, start a row in an empty room and worry constantly that his bum's too big.

22/08/20 8:03:45

"Now you sing it, Mister Lion!"

"Fine... A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh..."

20/08/20 8:01:31

"Where are we again?"

"Aberdeen, Angus!"

18/08/20 13:30:29

"I've turned the house upsidedown and still can't find my fabric swatches!"

"Did you check the sofa?"

18/08/20 8:58:51

As the flock disperses over a larger territory, the males must find new and inventive ways of signalling to a female...

17/08/20 8:00:22

Forcing native American statues to wear masks was a brave decision.

15/08/20 20:13:05

"Stay still! Mosquito."

11/08/20 12:04:48

Boris Johnson announces stringent new tests for foreign doctors.

07/08/20 8:02:07

"Am I too close to the kerb? I'm too close aren't I?"

05/08/20 8:43:40

Pass my binoculars! I've spotted a couple of tits in our bushes.

02/08/20 12:58:50

"What'll it be, sir? Banger with chips?"

31/07/20 6:43:39

My 600lb wife

30/07/20 12:51:24

Fag break at London Fashion Week.

22/07/20 12:30:49

The difference between:
(1) Once through the hotel toaster...
(2-8) What you would have put up with and...
(9) Twice through the hotel toaster

22/07/20 6:58:35

"I have to give him chocolate or he goes straight for my nuts!"

20/07/20 12:50:04

lol

Health and safety were certainly sucking the fun out of the annual cheese rolling contest.

28/06/20 12:55:27

As her eyes gazed searchingly into his, she couldn't help wondering; "Are those really the rules of cricket?" and "Funny place to store one's bales..."

Fri 8:14:28

YMCAgull

19/09/20 8:00:07

Rockstar 101 - only consort with overzealous groupies after you've finished playing.

17/09/20 12:02:31

"I'm going to do some work to release the lumbar area now. Breath out and try to relax."

15/09/20 20:01:06

Wayne Rooney was gutted. He'd been told he would be drilling a granny.

03/09/20 20:01:41

"Sid, how do I calculate the ratio of this fruit's circumference to its diameter, mate?"

"Apple pi, Ted."

03/09/20 20:00:31

Underdog

03/09/20 12:59:44

Not bird nor plane nor even frog.... Just little old me, Underdog. (* Lines from the theme song.) --Willie Johnson

"... Cures for baldness...and enter."

02/09/20 13:40:09

My father was a low-grade imbecile with a penchant for buggery. My mother a Romany prostitute with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented superglue. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being Dave. Summers were spent in the Black Forest polishing Gulliver and learning the rules of cricket. As I say, an unremarkable childhood.

29/08/20 12:24:08

"IT'S A VERY NICE! I LIKE!"

28/08/20 20:04:47

When it was first invented, KFC was actually given as a punishment.

27/08/20 20:00:41

"He's got Corvid 19 and the rest of us have bird flu. Now, give me the sandwich or I'll sneeze in your face."

22/08/20 12:26:13

"Where's yer old bag, Mister?"

"You mean the Tesco's one?"

"No, yer wife."

22/08/20 12:07:04

"Just put something about Gulliver."

"That doesn't make sense. Gulliver was only a giant by comparison when he visited Lilliput."

"Ok. How about 'Dave thought Gulliver's superglue lake was funny'?"

"You're a genius!"

19/08/20 20:00:39

The turd-in-a-box is smouldering nicely and... Yes! Here comes grumpy Mr Smith to start stamping it out.

16/08/20 8:01:22

Lawn miaowers

13/08/20 12:28:53

"A little blob of superglue and... Voila! I've reattached your arm!"

10/08/20 20:01:23

Just like their fathers and their fathers before them, all three soldiers were called Dave.

10/08/20 13:10:42

You forgot their mothers and their mothers before them too --Glyn Evans

Oh, THAT'S why the little girl in the pointy hat is screaming her head off!

09/08/20 12:00:48

If only he could discover why some captions got likes and some didn't. Why, it would be the greatest scientific breakthrough since superglue! Secondly, he needed some solvent.

06/08/20 13:06:33

I think I can see a turtles head...

04/08/20 8:00:40

The vehicle had clearly been involved in a shit and run.

30/07/20 14:52:47

Dave wished he hadn't picked today to start cross dressing.

25/07/20 12:34:38

It was bring something surprising to work day, so I had a ferret in my drawers.

20/07/20 13:10:38

"The life insurance claim reports smoke inhalation, spontaneous combustion and a nasty crisp allergy. I just don't buy it."

18/07/20 20:05:53

All the mode and median rabbits had gone.

15/07/20 8:06:15

'I took my little sister on holiday in this suitcase.'
'Jamaica?'
'No, she just climbed in.'

08/07/20 21:53:33

"What would you say are the main benefits of the park?"

"I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the sparrows too.
It gives me a sense of enormous well-being…"

Thu 22:08:35

🎵🎵🎵 --Barrie Bullock

I hate it when the clocks go back. So dark on the way to work.

Thu 8:00:40

My brain doesn't work as well as it used to but doesn't it get lighter in the morning when the clocks go back? --Dave Bryan

Very rare photo of a wife not talking.

Wed 12:31:10

"Get me the Chief Weasel! There's no way they've processed these coffee beans properly!"

Tue 20:32:51

The weasels were technically inspired by Anarchists. Does anybody know how good Anarchists are at making coffee? --Glyn Evans

"Jesus Christ? Your coffees are ready. Mr Iscariot would you like a lid?"

Tue 20:00:08

I bet that coffee cost thirty pieces of silver. --Glyn Evans

Big-ish shoe

Tue 8:00:24

"Brexit is a shit idea!"

- Wow, apes really are intelligent!

20/09/20 20:00:11

Teddytubbies

19/09/20 20:56:22

Peep dogs

19/09/20 20:00:08

"So, there we were having high tea and Terence used the dessert knife for his main course. We were so embarrassed we both went as red as a beetroot, didn't we Terence?"

19/09/20 12:00:18

"What's the time, Mr Wolf?"

"Caption time!"

19/09/20 8:00:15

"Give me a thumbs up if you STILL think superglue is funny."

18/09/20 20:00:47

"Oh look! That cloud looks like three giraffes."

17/09/20 21:44:45

I know how he feels. I pulled the same face when I snapped my banjo string.

17/09/20 12:00:11

For some inexplicable reason, Sue always seems full of beans.

17/09/20 8:12:01

"Take that hideous mask off will you, Steve?"

"I have..."

16/09/20 20:01:36

"Dear Mr Smith. Thank you for sending in your modelling portfolio. I have looked through your photos and I couldn't see what we're after."

16/09/20 13:12:12

"Are you sure your secret sunflower fertilizer is hygienic, Ted?"

"Hhnnnygh..."

15/09/20 8:00:18

Melonia Trunk

11/09/20 8:09:15

As it was Tim's first day as a mobile phone tester, he wanted to hit the ground running.

10/09/20 22:13:01

"Didn't he used to advertise Wierdobix?"

09/09/20 20:37:21

This isn't what I voted for but it's okay, I don't hate this one :) --Vivvy En

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I forgot to put the bins out..."

08/09/20 12:02:05

In order to save the females of the troop, this male quickly chokes the one-eyed trouser snake.

07/09/20 20:00:52

He'd taken his jabs but she wouldn't let him off the hook!

06/09/20 12:22:11

New 'Boris Boats'. You don't need oars because, well, everything will be fine if we all pull together. Well, not literally because we have no oars. But, trust me, we're going in the right direction. Promise!

05/09/20 17:11:57

Nobody had been to the end of sh*t creek before...

05/09/20 12:13:44

Very cavalier!

04/09/20 12:04:42

Good job they didn't put a red light there or he'd have gone straight through.

31/08/20 8:02:29

"Did that 'No nick-a la sturgeon' sign work then?"

"Sort of. They just went and poached salmon instead."

29/08/20 20:38:11

- Doctor, doctor, my child's addicted to crack.
- Explains why he's an arsehole then!

27/08/20 8:05:15

When you have an itch in such an awkward place someone else has to get it...

24/08/20 13:21:13

"What's that?", grinned the sadistic old man. "You can't manage another superglue sandwich!? Hahaha!".

22/08/20 12:01:29

Suzie was disappointed to find the puppy didn't munch the right type of rug.

21/08/20 12:46:26

"Jake, I must tell you something awful... That's an anal thermometer!"

16/08/20 20:56:50

"Shoes!? Luxury! We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!"

16/08/20 14:42:25

Hamburglar completed his rehabilitation and became a gondolier, but always had a chip on his shoulder.

15/08/20 12:29:41

This frisky young monkey tried in vain to mate with an attractive female and was instead beaten off. We've all been there, right?

15/08/20 10:33:43

I love the clever use of the flash in this photograph.

15/08/20 8:35:42

more captions

last comments (total: 56)

"Are you walking or driving?"
"Neither, I'm just standing here trying to hold it in."

Willie Johnson

20/09/20
11:34pm

comment on caption:
"Can you tell me the quickest way to the loo, please?"

"Are you walking or driving?"

"Walking."

"It's quicker if you drive." [Al Overy]

"I'll name that loon in one."

:^)

Crunchy Chords

Tuesday
3:36pm

comment on caption:
Lion'll Glare [Al Overy]

I bet that coffee cost thirty pieces of silver.

Glyn Evans

Wednesday
8:58pm

comment on caption:
"Jesus Christ? Your coffees are ready. Mr Iscariot would you like a lid?" [Al Overy]

The weasels were technically inspired by Anarchists. Does anybody know how good Anarchists are at making coffee?

Glyn Evans

Wednesday
9:00pm

comment on caption:
"Get me the Chief Weasel! There's no way they've processed these coffee beans properly!" [Al Overy]

Ha ha, your loss laughing face

Glyn Evans

Wednesday
9:12pm

comment on caption:
"NO VOTES! NO VOTES!? THREE HOURS I SPENT ON THAT F*@KING CAPTION!!" [Al Overy]

My brain doesn't work as well as it used to but doesn't it get lighter in the morning when the clocks go back?

Dave Bryan

Friday
8:42am

comment on caption:
I hate it when the clocks go back. So dark on the way to work. [Al Overy]

That's very forward thinking Dave.

Stephen Bean

Friday
8:45am

comment on caption:
I hate it when the clocks go back. So dark on the way to work. [Al Overy]

Wow Dave. You're saying your brain gets lighter in the morning when the clocks go back? (My brain doesn't work as well as it used to either.)

Willie Johnson

Friday
2:24pm

comment on caption:
I hate it when the clocks go back. So dark on the way to work. [Al Overy]

🎵🎵🎵

Barrie Bullock

Friday
2:31pm

comment on caption:
"What would you say are the main benefits of the park?"

"I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the sparrows too.
It gives me a sense of enormous well-being…" [Al Overy]

Nod to The Two Ronnie's four candles sketch.

Al Overy

Sunday
7:24am

comment on caption:
"I need a couple of large Os."

"There you go, two large hos"

[Al Overy]

more comments

Al Overy

best latest latest and best captions

last comments (total: 56)

captions