£50
WINNER

lol clever

"Oi mate! You're in the wrong quay."

11/02/18 21:07:10

♬ Relieving on a jet plane. ♬

24/08/12 12:02:19

"I've got 10,000 twitter followers."

16/03/12 11:06:48

The Wife of Pi

20/06/14 13:02:51

creative

New Star Wars film criticised for containing excessive violins.

19/09/13 12:40:39

Queue Gardens.

08/02/13 20:09:45

lol creative x2

“That looks perfect Neil. We’ll come back tonight and film it with the spacesuit on.”

20/01/13 20:35:06

"This house is possessed by the Breville."

10/11/12 8:34:41

lol x2

"Do you know the Barber of Seville?...Well bloody well go and see him then."

22/07/14 8:56:53

Jack was beginning to doubt that the best way to travel around London was by Tube.

01/09/12 8:25:29

Furniture Swearhouse.

28/05/12 20:00:34

Schindler's Lift.

01/04/12 20:05:39

clever

Jack and the beans talk.

15/01/17 21:06:30

lol x3

Roger Bannister

25/07/16 12:05:38

Santa's Little Yelpers

25/01/15 20:22:45

Page 3 of the Toys R Us catalogue.

30/08/14 12:05:38

This model comes with all the latest cutting hedge technology.

22/06/14 12:39:59

The Empire Strikes Bach.

19/09/13 12:22:01

Anointment will clean that off his face.

03/03/13 10:07:23

lol x2

Greyfriars Jobby.

15/02/13 12:17:59

Put that in your pike and smoke it.

03/02/13 10:51:48

lol creative

In his 2nd term inaugural address Obama pledges to outlaw all guns and replace them with bows and arrows.

21/01/13 20:09:25

"MR SMITH, FOR JUST €5 MORE RYANAIR WILL LET YOU USE THE TOILET INSIDE THE CABIN."

24/08/12 12:02:54

Dominatreks.

17/06/12 11:17:55

"Not now Cato!"

01/06/12 20:00:26

"Damn, I forgot to bring the box of Milk Tray."

15/05/12 12:17:25

"What's your handicap?"

21/04/12 11:00:09

Shrine for man killed in flower accident.

10/04/12 11:03:54

"Where Jewish to go sir?"

01/04/12 20:00:07

"I wonder if I should have put the windbreak up first before putting on his suntan lotion."

09/06/14 12:29:49

lol x3

Knickerless Sarkozy.

28/05/13 0:02:44

Hyundry.

28/09/12 20:00:08

King Solomon's Fines.

03/09/12 20:00:08

A train will be along in a minute torso.

07/06/12 20:18:29

creative

"Yeah, I'm on patternity leave."

13/01/17 12:22:47

Coat of Arms

12/07/16 12:23:22

clever

Bob slay

13/01/15 8:50:16

Madam and the Ants

03/02/15 12:12:35

creative

One Flue Over the Cuckoo's Nest

25/07/14 12:24:14

Jane is part of a motorcycle display team.

10/07/14 9:42:50

Astra Turf

22/06/14 12:00:11

lol

Dave Lee Travis disconnecting a security camera in the BBC car park.

14/03/14 21:10:57

Right-wing extremist.

08/09/13 14:05:12

Love hertz

31/08/13 20:09:11

Windscreen sniper.

10/06/13 8:29:35

lol

"I'm thinking of attaching a sideboard."

01/06/13 20:13:45

creative

Under attack from terror-wrists.

13/03/13 20:53:33

lol

The Millennium Foilcan.

27/01/13 9:49:31

"I never knew her before she latched onto me in the supermarket a year ago and I didn't have the heart to tell her to go away. My last 3 boyfriends have left me because of the smell around the flat but worst of all is that stupid hat which she wears everywhere we go."

09/09/12 9:30:19

Don't forget to log out before you leave the office.

25/08/12 20:00:11

"We have lift toff."

12/08/12 19:50:14

Caterers at the Olympic village prepare a meal for the athletes from Papua New Guinea.

28/07/12 11:08:06

"But the recipe said to add a little Basil."

28/07/12 11:05:24

A minor speeding offence.

14/06/12 11:00:08

Electric blankets are not recommended for bedwetters.

03/06/12 20:16:19

Morecambe....unwise.

26/05/12 11:23:16

lol

Anchor recall 100,000 faulty cans of squirty cream.

03/09/17 8:39:21

"I think someone has piked our drinks."

04/01/17 20:38:33

Uncle Spam

03/02/15 20:00:09

lol

Scottish Widows recruitment campaign.

16/01/15 8:31:36

creative clever

Gary turned straight to the troubleshooting section of Isaac Newton's book.

29/08/14 12:54:33

lol

"C'mon Lance let's go. It's not a line of cocaine."

29/07/14 12:16:50

"Throw it back, it's just a toddler."

23/07/14 21:26:08

creative

"....As I was saying, the teeth whitening went very well. What do you lot think?"

21/05/14 9:51:58

Harry looks wrought with gilt.

14/04/14 12:44:04

Vlad the Impala.

15/06/13 20:03:28

The Grim Reader.

22/09/12 21:46:52

LIMBERRRRR!

20/09/12 20:14:56

"This is your captain leaking."

24/08/12 12:35:48

The boys enjoyed a bit of bras rubbing.

11/08/12 14:47:41

Two more banks go under.

04/08/12 11:06:18

Olympic shot putter bemoans Heathrow baggage mix-up.

20/07/12 11:07:50

Production line for Heather Mills' spares.

07/06/12 20:09:40

Metal-lica.

10/05/12 11:19:09

Although she'd mastered the deep voice, Jane's secret was given away by the dangling tampon string.

02/05/12 20:36:17

The old building was deserted.

27/08/14 20:00:08

Biggy in the Middle

08/07/14 12:41:46

Sally didn't let having a cleft palate stop her from enjoying bubblegum.

29/05/14 21:40:23

Tom bought it at a car boat sail.

21/04/14 9:55:15

lol

Ales from the Crypt.

24/08/13 8:35:21

lol

It could be ewe.

15/06/13 12:00:59

lol creative

After the Fingerbobs millions dried up, Fingermouse put his sister on the game.

30/03/13 12:04:24

Jack in the Blocks.

05/02/13 21:21:00

Breakfast will be ready in a minute torso.

14/12/12 20:02:56

Don't look so worried Mrs Jones, Dr Shipman is very experienced, he knows exactly what he is doing."

06/12/12 20:27:37

Checking Faithbook.

04/11/12 20:00:06

Cardinal Sin.

04/11/12 12:00:09

"I'm the starter at the Paralympics 100 metres for the hard of hearing."

04/10/12 21:13:41

Wild Bill Hiccup.

06/09/12 12:17:52

Driving Under the Influence of Calpol.

14/06/12 11:00:25

Chilean Minor.

30/05/12 20:01:11

After 10 years of listening to his nonsensical rhymes, Dusty Bin could take it no longer and ate Ted Rogers.

04/05/12 20:24:59

Gorilla's in the Miss.

18/04/12 20:00:22

Balance Armstrong

05/09/17 12:15:56

clever

They'll all fall off when Islam on the brakes.

27/12/16 20:23:25

The Decapthlon

18/08/16 20:01:43

Model T Fjord

07/06/15 20:18:08

Period Drama

18/05/15 20:21:56

Cher unhappy with plastic surgeon following her latest facelift.

03/10/17 12:06:33

lol creative clever x2

For Susan cheerleading was a cross between a job and a hobby.

02/09/17 14:09:46

The Loft World of Atlantis

07/11/16 20:48:39

clever

A minute later Dave tossed himself off.

25/07/16 13:30:03

Devastated at being sacked by Dr. Bunsen Honeydew following yet another disaster in the laboratory, Beaker just couldn't face the fax.

29/09/15 13:13:34

clever

When the priest saw her he had a stroke.

04/06/15 20:37:12

lol

"Business has quadrupled since we moved to the new premises next to the chemotherapy unit."

31/01/15 12:21:51

Cock or Spaniel

04/08/14 20:19:27

creative

"Your hurdles are ready Mr Corbett."

24/07/14 20:17:55

creative x2

Gastric Band of Brothers

24/06/14 12:49:47

creative

As a new mother Jill likes to express herself.

25/05/14 10:56:27

Sandra was delighted to be Miss Norfolk for a 3rd successive year.

16/05/14 20:45:39

"We shall Sprite them on the beaches..."

25/03/14 21:43:45

creative

06/08/13 21:27:39

Necra-feelya.

13/06/13 20:09:35

creative x2

#tag

24/05/13 20:06:03

creative

Mirror - Bat Signal - Manoeuvre.

26/01/13 17:25:30

lol

"Emu, I just want you to move the aeriel a bit to the left then we can go back inside and watch the Man United game. Don't wrinkle your beak like that at me."

22/01/13 20:29:41

lol creative x3

Last of the Summer Wine does Cool Runnings.

04/01/13 8:53:49

Towed in the hole.

22/12/12 12:07:07

♫ Grease is the Nerd. ♫

23/11/12 8:00:37

Money for old pope.

04/11/12 12:00:15

"Somebody has piked my drink."

03/11/12 8:00:34

Inlaws and Outlaws.

02/11/12 8:42:52

A Beach tree.

24/10/12 20:00:11

Disguise the limit.

01/09/12 12:10:29

"I'm normally fussy about who I date but on this occasion I'll make an exception and go out with a redhead."

26/07/12 11:15:40

The Hanging Garments of Babylon.

27/05/12 11:01:22

"I need to work on my slabs."

22/04/12 11:05:38

Warmwood Shrubs.

13/04/12 20:02:18

Men.

03/04/12 20:00:10

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Ford Galaxy.

19/03/12 20:00:12

I hope you're better at this than my last 17 guide dogs were.

27/02/12 12:21:13

clever x2

There's Macavity.

30/08/14 9:40:23

"You're having me on, this car doesn't have an ejector seeeaaaaa......"

28/08/14 12:39:17

lol

Meanwhile, the guests at Keith Floyd's dinner party were sipping a nice cold glass of sage and onion stuffing.

10/08/14 21:16:15

Tom had always wanted to be a drill instructor.

09/08/14 21:48:19

Whenever they went to get sausages, Punch and Judy always fought over the Bill.

08/06/14 20:52:24

lol

"So Mr Pistorius. You say you thought the Nolan Sisters were trying to burgle you?"

18/05/14 23:53:25

Visit Yellowstone and see the world's highest geezer.

30/03/14 20:50:40

"A big mac and large flies please."

07/12/13 10:48:43

LIMMMMBBBEERRRR!

24/11/13 12:02:13

Swigger mortis

24/08/13 8:19:17

Icing with death.

19/06/13 20:53:25

Foodstock.

14/06/13 20:19:40

creative

09/06/13 10:23:50

lol

Dizzy Gillespie.

30/03/13 8:38:03

Supergirl is yet to find a panty liner which stays in place.

03/03/13 13:34:08

lol creative

"Oh! He's just a spiv selling watches. I was hoping to see his cock."

29/01/13 20:26:36

"This is the wrong way, we'll need to do a ewe-turn."

12/01/13 20:00:05

The Gin Reaper.

22/12/12 20:00:07

When he ordered 'Sex for Dummies' Bob was expecting a book.

20/11/12 20:21:10

Barbie couldn't understand how cockless Ken managed to get her pregnant.

07/11/12 20:28:41

Beavers are normally only found in freshwater.

01/11/12 8:40:12

Nappuccino.

29/10/12 8:02:28

Steve was lucky it was chocolate fingers he'd asked for with his coffee and not a chocolate hobnob.

21/10/12 10:30:42

♫ What shoe pussycat? Woah woah. ♫

10/10/12 12:26:22

Dave was starting his new job as a cisterns analyst.

25/08/12 20:00:28

Tim brrrr.

11/08/12 20:00:37

"I've got a crack in my tooth."

17/07/12 20:04:21

"She reminds me of my late ex."

13/07/12 20:02:30

Before they could collect their wheelchairs, the Paralympic basketball teams had a long wait at Heathrow passport control.

11/07/12 20:27:05

"Can either of you two smell gas?"

09/05/12 20:17:56

Prick with a fork.

11/04/12 20:00:08

"Where's your Mr Forgetful costume?"

23/03/12 20:18:42

Groundhot Day.

05/03/12 11:07:27

He's in Dire Straits

11/02/18 21:15:46

The Great Barrier Roof

07/11/16 20:46:02

Darth and his little sithter.

10/10/16 20:16:13

creative clever

Being the least successful sibling, Kevin Kardashian had to wear his sister's hand me downs.

27/09/15 10:06:52

After his breakdown Dave is now on the road to recovery thanks to AA.

14/06/15 9:55:28

clever

"Icy dead people."

11/04/15 20:02:56

"Mum, granny's dragging the baby on a lead to the park again."

21/03/15 8:24:14

Officer Dribble

11/02/15 10:34:59

The 12 Strays of Christmas

25/01/15 20:41:01

A Grate Dane

28/01/18 15:27:14

"Well that's f*cked up the plan to conquer the universe."

13/03/17 23:26:15

Carplunk

13/10/16 12:29:26

Synchronised Strimming

04/09/16 12:33:17

"Well I did tell you it was a gamble booking the Four Seasons Hotel."

08/07/16 9:20:25

lol

A flash in Japan

15/11/15 8:26:58

Dave was given £14,000 and 3 weeks to organise his wedding on Don't Cull the Bride.

31/10/15 10:59:27

Name That Platoon

12/03/15 8:47:02

"Tickets pliés."

08/03/15 8:38:44

Suite Dreams

03/03/15 21:18:04

Castrol GT-Rex

02/02/15 20:16:02

clever

Wheat Men Can't Jump

24/01/15 20:44:58

creative

At 8pm every Saturday, Spiderman and his family get a takeaway delivered.

20/09/14 20:02:28

creative

Prince Philip is concerned for his own safety as he heads towards a Parisian tunnel with the paparazzi on his tail.

01/09/14 8:41:44

Full Metal Jacket, shirt and tie.

29/08/14 8:40:35

Poultry in Motion

27/07/14 20:36:02

creative

"I'm too close to you for the photo, I'll just take another step baaaaaaa...."

24/07/14 8:26:40

Susan got overexcited when she had a brilliant idea and her husband told her to contain herself.

03/07/14 20:33:37

Lemmington Spa

19/05/14 20:04:07

In the city it only does ten miles to the galleon.

21/04/14 10:08:56

You should see the other leg, it's the dog's bollocks.

22/09/13 8:11:59

Cautious Dave always hedged his pets.

09/08/13 8:41:38

Whilst the meat eaters had already finished their steaks, the vegetarians were still waiting on the nut roast.

08/06/13 20:16:31

101 Damnations.

21/05/13 13:24:08

Sue was sent off for a second cookable offence.

16/05/13 20:24:39

5 minute cakeover.

13/04/13 20:57:07

The Vietconga.

24/02/13 12:00:06