lol x3 creative x6

"Look, there's some nosy bastard looking through our letterbox."

15/03/13 21:00:00

clever x5

It was a nice gesture by the Bulgarian Police Force to give informer Alexander Keepoff a Memorial.

03/09/15 19:00:10

lol clever x2

Animal writes

31/05/18 19:00:17

Beach coma

03/10/11 10:00:16

lol x2 creative

Great on the parcel shelf of a car.

Nod to everyone.

23/05/18 13:08:30

lol clever

"Right, that's curry sauce, mango chutney, basmati rice, onion bhaji, poppadoms and a Nan."

15/03/20 12:57:09

clever x3

The battery's dead.

02/01/17 20:25:25

creative

2B or not 2B

20/02/14 12:00:13

clever

Labradoodle

18/09/20 11:18:06

The Invisible Man gets a right good kicking.

12/06/18 19:00:13

"Bloody hell Jim, now you put the toilet seat down."

05/11/17 12:01:38

"He needs a clip around the ears."

16/02/17 20:01:30

lol

"Sonja, for chrissakes, pull the cord."

25/01/16 8:04:44

lol

There's always one practical joker outside a Mosque.

11/08/14 7:08:55

"Ground control to Ginger Tom"

14/04/14 19:08:28

lol

"Let me atom."

17/03/14 9:23:37

lol

"Not much longer now sweetheart, you're nearly dry."

08/08/13 8:01:23

Sue didn't look right.

16/06/20 19:07:13

clever x2

Not the first time Julia had pants around her head.

21/07/18 7:35:09

Roll play

09/09/14 7:00:08

lol creative clever

Relief as Rivers drops six foot.

05/09/14 7:14:33

Veal barrow

29/07/14 8:04:33

Texticles

Nod to 8:08:02

19/05/19 8:06:58

clever x2

Human bean

26/02/19 8:05:26

"My husband loves my paintings but he has no idea where my inspiration comes from."

17/11/18 9:55:11

A dip in the road

04/02/17 12:06:17

lol

"You sing great, do you play any instruments?"
"I play a little guitar."

29/08/15 7:12:43

lol

"Get a tomb."

01/02/15 20:34:05

lol

"Who put the bloody underfloor heating to maximum?"

03/01/13 9:41:17

"At least we can rule out a heart attack Doc."

13/11/12 8:05:48

Bags under the eyes.

30/07/14 11:21:41

"Bobby, have you put away your skatebo .. arrrh?"

02/04/14 19:14:15

lol

"Could someone put the Ariel in please?"

08/01/13 8:04:18

"Bloody Humans have pulled the wipers off."

01/09/12 11:04:17

Deflower of Scotland

17/05/12 12:37:00

Puss in booze

28/10/11 19:08:06

clever

"Get your r's over here and correct that sign."

17/04/20 11:20:30

clever

"She can't sing but when the wind is in the right direction she's a damned good whistler."

15/02/20 9:52:36

"Would you like flies with that?"

11/09/18 11:11:10

creative

Big Apple Turnover

07/08/16 19:28:57

lol creative

"You think that's bad, he's doing Coq au Vin tomorrow."

13/06/16 7:11:15

Handing out flyers

28/02/16 9:15:24

"See Debs, told you it was a good idea to keep the Umbilical cord."

23/09/15 7:00:13

creative

"OK, switch it off, I think she's dead."

18/11/14 21:07:20

Peter was glad last night's full moon phase was nearly over.

14/08/20 7:08:37

Coldilocks

06/03/20 21:00:25

"I love your Bush."
"That's nice of you to say but what do you think of the TV?"

21/02/20 12:08:14

lol x2

Tom Cruise before the CGI and editing.

01/06/19 19:36:13

Nanaconda

18/03/19 20:12:58

Nappy hour

22/09/18 7:42:23

Frozen pees

06/05/18 11:56:25

A Charmin pair of earrings.

20/08/17 19:00:08

lol x2

Sit on this

31/01/17 8:00:34

clever

"This will be the first time I tried this Sir, the Hindenburg brandy flambe cocktail ... enjoy."

24/09/15 19:33:37

lol x2

"We're going to induce you Mrs Jones, we think twenty years overdue is long enough."

28/03/15 12:00:11

Sects on the beach

01/03/15 12:04:10

Tree Amigos

17/08/14 8:03:00

Dickinson's Reel Deal

09/04/14 7:16:43

creative

Slush puppie

23/01/14 8:00:10

His bark is worse than his bite.

05/04/13 7:00:07

Chinese ache away.

26/01/13 20:05:51

Pack man

03/07/12 19:12:58

£50
WINNER

I heard it flew the grapevine.

22/07/11 10:08:26

"Hey, two metres!"

08/05/20 11:32:18

Princess Margarets tiara comes up for auction.

22/10/19 7:06:02

Duplicat

06/10/19 11:53:57

House warming party

07/11/17 8:00:11

"Yes Mum, he has a car and a house."

04/05/17 19:03:15

clever

Roll models

20/04/17 15:19:16

Shipping Lane

31/03/17 7:04:32

"Two raspberry nipples please."

06/01/17 12:29:25

lol

Norman Bates, the signs were there.

30/09/15 7:03:13

creative

Julie loved to fool people into thinking there was a train coming.

14/07/15 19:07:35

Evergrin

10/02/15 17:40:34

Head butt

02/09/14 7:05:21

creative

The new Channel 4 reality show for celebrity children, Extreme Paper Round.

06/01/13 8:38:58

Smitten

18/11/12 8:00:11

creative

"Go away, I'm not shingle."

16/07/14 11:11:28

The Grim Reefer

05/05/14 7:00:12

Dave loses his head and throws a wobbly.

29/12/13 8:43:36

"Take it easy Bellboy, I only asked you to take my luggage upstairs."

14/11/13 9:24:20

Fin and Tonic

26/02/13 20:00:07

She's going to take a dive in the Forth.

06/10/12 9:01:54

"Don't panic sis, I said 'insect.'"

25/05/12 10:07:36

Sue was B side herself.

19/02/12 11:56:17

"Is it OK or Hello?"
"Neither, it's The bloody Sun."

07/01/12 20:13:15

Gnome is where the tart is.

25/10/11 19:00:13

"I have to send her out to get the groceries now since she told me that I couldn't drive anymore," said Prince Phillip.

14/09/20 7:33:39

2019 : Lazy bugger
2020 : Responsible adult

05/06/20 8:44:56

"Are you going to take the bus?"

29/04/20 11:02:55

They'll soon drift apart.

26/04/19 20:03:20

Support our heroes

11/11/18 12:13:03

That's novel.

21/10/18 19:00:09

"Mr Smith, I said 'keep taking the pills'."

27/06/18 7:02:57

"He always preferred his digs to be on the top floor."

20/08/17 8:31:29

A dead ringer

12/07/17 11:15:59

clever

The Minor strikes 1984

13/02/17 13:04:29

"Dip yer headlights yer Bastard."

15/05/15 7:09:25

"You've been to that bloody market again, haven't you?"

22/02/15 20:36:33

clever x2

Road Dan, The Thinker.

30/11/14 12:05:19

lol clever

Apparently this is where Jeremy Clarkson had spotted the Argies.

24/10/14 21:35:06

lol

"Now put your right foot in."
"Don't think I'm brave enough."
"My right leg needs oiling."
"Which one's my right?"

30/09/20 8:39:49

Tom later moved onto bigger furniture but unfortunately suffered from a slipped desk."

21/08/20 7:40:45

Hanker Chief

15/08/20 19:08:34

clever

"Of course it's safe, President Trump sanctioned it."

10/08/20 19:41:14

creative

"Who buried Homer?"

10/07/20 11:33:44

Labradoor

09/03/20 20:32:10

"Can you see my ribs?"
"You are kidding mate, aren't you."

19/05/19 19:11:19

"What's up Glock?"

20/04/19 19:03:48

Pollygone

07/04/19 11:22:45

"Your fins are forgiven."

06/01/19 20:20:59

I.T.rex

07/10/18 11:05:13

"Could I have bunions with that please?"

18/08/18 11:00:53

Kellmoggs

07/08/18 19:52:40

lol

" ... and take your damn books with you."

30/05/18 19:10:24

lol

it's rude to eat with your elbows on the table ... send

30/04/18 7:11:01

lol

"Ahh, look Charles, he's got your ears."

10/12/17 20:06:39

Supermarket sleep

09/08/16 11:16:58

lol

"... and there was a buffet on the train."

29/05/16 15:20:51

lol creative

04/04/16 19:20:52

Bud visor

22/03/16 20:10:11

Saturday Night Lemur

28/02/16 20:00:17

"Will someone put a pilau under her head?"

12/01/16 20:07:17

Snog, Maori, Avoid?

20/09/15 8:05:13

lol

Bloody Bingo machine's bust again.

28/08/15 7:09:01

Jo liked to lie on the Beech.

11/07/15 7:00:13

lol

"Here's the Catholic converter."

27/05/15 7:01:18

Suzie liked to keep in shape.

14/05/15 7:05:55

lol

Wig trouble in Little China

09/04/15 7:00:09

lol

23/03/15 8:05:51

Eric Clapped out

03/03/15 9:21:27

clever x2

Flits like a glove.

02/01/15 8:02:44

lol

"Where are you Scooby?"

14/11/14 12:58:38

"Not yet Imran, you're not her husband until tomorrow."

17/10/14 8:27:46

"Ahh, there's nothing like a bit of soft lighting."

11/10/14 11:25:49

You won't get flatbread here.

29/09/14 7:07:46

Introducing the powerful suction of Siemens.

10/09/14 15:35:43

Bob's mates were gutted for him.

15/07/14 11:24:21

Apparently it gets 6 inches bigger in Summer.

27/05/13 19:13:58

Ray Reardon was really attached to his snooker cue.

26/05/13 11:00:08

Mind the Jap

01/01/13 12:16:16

Sister hacked

04/11/12 20:21:14

Severn up

04/08/12 10:23:40

Bay window

13/03/12 20:19:10

"You see Doctor, he keeps wetting himself."

30/12/11 11:43:43

Fall guy

21/10/11 19:49:31

Goose beret

18/10/11 19:00:11

Strip lights

04/10/14 11:00:30

We have nice baps.

29/09/14 7:01:10

lol

"We ordered lintels you idiot."

27/05/14 15:13:12

Canjunctivitis

22/05/14 19:20:30

Wing mirror

28/04/14 7:00:27

The Ant Till Mob

17/04/14 19:05:20

"Christ, this light's taking a long time to change to green."

03/04/14 21:06:40

lol

♫ If you wallaby my lover ♫

25/03/14 14:01:21

creative

Snog, Marigold or Avoid.

26/02/14 8:06:39

lol

An excrement addition to any dish.

19/02/14 12:21:52

Drop off area.

16/02/14 12:48:32

"Nicolas, they won't go away if you keep looking through the letterbox."

22/01/14 8:07:16

creative

Hatlas

16/08/13 7:15:56

creative x2

"Why are you wearing the tablecloth? ..... and where's my antique walnut table?"

14/08/13 15:24:38

creative x2

People from North career into people coming from the South.

14/04/13 11:22:30

Blimey, this is a bit sluggish.

26/03/13 8:02:15

God, I hate doing these toothpaste adverts."

24/03/13 20:24:29

A chapped finger.

05/08/11 11:49:33

BMX files

23/07/20 19:32:43

"Bloody hell, that's a powerful Hoover the people in the flat above have got."

27/04/20 11:19:36

clever

"Over the years you wouldn't believe how many times we've had to re-build that wall."

05/04/20 19:11:54

Icing with death.

20/03/20 20:14:17

The fast supper

07/10/19 19:52:46

Puss in Booze

22/08/19 7:05:17

lol

"Don't believe those reviews on Trip Advisor, Area 51's a dump."

21/08/19 14:36:48

lol

"It reached 45 degrees in Paris today."

28/07/19 6:52:09

"That's the fifth one today, I think we should get them to turn the electric fence off."

11/05/19 8:11:29

Smelts in your mouth.

24/03/19 12:09:23

clever

The road to Towcester.

05/03/19 8:03:39

"He's the something blue."

17/10/18 11:17:48

Free kick practise area.

06/06/18 7:00:40

Hurts car hire

03/11/17 20:09:58

Jason and the Arbrenauts

06/10/17 19:00:12

" ... and here comes the World Darts Champion."

26/06/17 19:56:35

Ash blonde

20/05/17 8:47:16

clever

" ... and now on BBC2 Planet Earth for the hard of hearing."

14/04/17 19:38:23

Cycle race abandoned due to road blocks.

28/03/17 7:08:45

clever

Flyaway hair

21/03/17 20:14:36

lol

Joe was having his first contraction.

08/01/17 9:35:55

With all this excitement James couldn't contain himself.

07/11/16 8:00:11

lol

"I told you to get the dog spayed you idiot."

22/05/16 11:28:42

"Idiot, I said I wanted his phone tapped."

13/03/16 12:24:19

Thigh noon

31/12/15 9:37:03

"We'll do a shingle seater next."

03/10/15 19:00:18

Fido was resting on his laurels

06/09/15 19:02:17

Fetching pair of shoes

22/06/15 19:08:41

"Where's the cycle path Officer?"
"Don't know son, but don't worry, we'll get him."

09/06/15 7:09:13

A cute girl.

14/05/15 7:09:10

lol

"A small Jack Daniels with a splash of water please."

05/04/15 19:13:24

clever

Lassiefier

21/03/15 9:57:37

lol creative

"Quick, pull the ladder up, your wife's here."

07/03/15 8:56:01

Trainrotting

01/03/15 20:20:10

"I think that's everything," said Victoria Beckham.

20/02/15 10:20:50