
Mark England
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Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
Captions | 1 | 4 | #15 | 7 | 17 | #15 | 7233 | 19677 | #10 |
Comments | 1 | 320 | 324 | #23 | |||||
Forum Posts | 1 | 4 |
caption quota: 68
caption votes given since joining: 12,722
comment quota: 17
comment votes given since joining: 195
captions
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12/03/14 12:37:33 |
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30/07/13 12:21:55 |
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July's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats! --Chris Beach
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27/04/20 12:12:35 |
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03/04/20 8:09:53 |
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02/05/19 8:16:05 |
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21/10/16 12:54:20 |
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18/09/12 20:10:56 |
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"Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit" 24/06/19 20:30:04 |
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Never try to leave a barbers without paying 01/07/21 12:19:39 |
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Great caption Mark but I think Al Overy deserved a nod for being first to come up with the barber idea which hadn't occurred to me. --Stephen Bean
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01/10/18 20:04:56 |
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I'm absolutely thrilled. Thanks to everyone for the votes and kind comments --Mark England
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In his younger days, Don King had a fetish for licking squirrels arses 23/01/17 20:16:38 |
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It's based on Don King's unique hairstyle --Mark England
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27/08/13 20:01:41 |
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30/09/21 20:52:45 |
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Pmsl --Karen Oakenfull
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Traffic news: The B345 has virtually come to a standstill due to Fogg 08/09/21 12:15:15 |
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Around the M25 in 80 days. Sounds about right. --Dan Nicholls
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22/10/18 20:44:22 |
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It's situated in a close knit community 15/02/17 20:06:24 |
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No one is talking about the elephant in the room 30/05/22 8:44:43 |
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18/05/21 12:17:50 |
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Do sailors say clean things when they get Tourette's? --Willie Johnson
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Due to a bagpipe shortage, Luton's 'Scottish Exile Pipe Band' had to improvise 22/05/20 12:12:57 |
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But it was a bit of a Wee Crankie idea. --Woofer 6
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"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.." 30/06/19 12:05:59 |
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"All I did was order a pint of cider" 02/04/16 20:05:57 |
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"Gotcha. Caught red-handed. Have you anything to say?" 28/06/21 12:39:48 |
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The relationship ended when Gladys pulled a Mussel 13/04/21 20:45:32 |
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"Come on you two. Smoke break is over. Those chimneys ain't gonna clean themselves" 08/07/20 8:25:57 |
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05/05/20 20:11:08 |
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Rice wine made with fox? Those Japanese will eat anything! 22/03/18 12:09:42 |
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"My nose is running" 24/11/13 20:20:38 |
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lmfao...bravo. --Ross Davidson
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19/09/12 8:01:41 |
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06/09/12 12:10:26 |
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"Next on Animal Life Swap, we'll see how the Hippos are managing in their bedsit in Swansea" 07/09/21 8:14:09 |
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27/02/21 20:39:51 |
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Great thinking on this one. Love it --The Wolf
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It was at that moment that the magician wished he had used a rabbit 07/07/20 8:03:05 |
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"Hello, I'm Dr Ball. How many mushrooms have you swallowed?" 30/04/20 8:27:16 |
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Some Paralympic events simply do not work 09/04/20 8:35:58 |
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I hate myself, but I can't stop laughing at this. --James Lennox
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"I got rid of that frog in my throat, but I'm still a little hoarse" 16/08/19 12:04:54 |
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"I found it in the road. It's a 'Truck-killed flattypuss'" 19/09/18 8:53:27 |
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07/02/17 12:13:01 |
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"I want peanuts, a size 48 tutu and some sticky buns....or I drop the boy" 10/05/15 12:16:55 |
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in your opinion. --Lucky Elperro
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"I see Spiderman was pissed again last night" 05/04/15 12:00:58 |
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"Good man, you got the razor blade. Now let's see how cute the meerkat looks without ears" 11/07/14 21:00:38 |
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Is it just me, or this the best round of captions in ages? I love this. --Michael Winner
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05/07/14 12:19:27 |
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24/03/14 20:16:35 |
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George was hoping to make the Olympus diving team 26/01/14 10:37:47 |
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05/10/12 12:08:49 |
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"Steak and Kidney £2, Mince Beef £1.50 and Cheese and Ham £1" 29/08/12 12:52:52 |
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25/04/14 12:07:08 |
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Ok. No need to Ramadan our throats 31/08/12 12:14:25 |
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28/08/12 12:44:28 |
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13/09/21 8:05:29 |
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It's a clown so that's a given. --Barrie Bullock
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07/07/21 12:22:43 |
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21/08/20 12:09:41 |
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Mary had a little lamb 17/08/20 8:54:46 |
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Shocking --John Glover
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"It's sore?. Well I told you to stick to the italian, but no, you had to go and eat the Indian" 19/08/19 9:37:25 |
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"You spoil that bloody hamster" 30/03/19 8:06:50 |
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28/08/18 12:07:39 |
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Are you constipated? Is your toilet full of overgrown flowers? Then you could do with a prune. 07/02/15 20:29:27 |
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I've always thought that alien abductions would be more high-tech 11/07/22 12:07:35 |
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"Sir, do you mind running through it again?" 22/06/21 12:05:16 |
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"Do you mind running through the halls naked and screaming? Yes you do mind? Then do you mind if I do it after a question like that?" --Willie Johnson
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28/05/21 12:17:19 |
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The lower sign is for constipated bats 08/04/21 8:08:47 |
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Abandoned as a pup, Fido was raised by a family of beavers 20/01/21 8:26:26 |
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"The cat walked straight past. The disguise worked" 01/12/20 11:28:19 |
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23/03/20 20:02:36 |
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13/03/20 20:08:04 |
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"So how will I recognise you?" 24/11/19 21:01:22 |
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"Well, I told you not to pull its tail" 16/11/17 20:27:03 |
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Anon. As it’s panto season you missed ‘Ooooh’ from the start of your comment --Mr Dome
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03/10/17 20:00:51 |
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...specializing in REALLY HEAVY construction. --Greg Curtis
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27/08/17 20:08:24 |
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01/04/15 21:51:15 |
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must be me but its a bit sick! --Bad Boy Dennis.
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25/09/14 12:05:16 |
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15/05/14 20:24:32 |
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08/03/14 20:08:26 |
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The moody blue background is perfect. --Pete
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Since the rabbit incident, King Midas was banned from keeping pets 15/01/14 8:39:19 |
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The owner has earned a fortune from this bar. Now he'd rather be called Filthy Rich. 23/10/13 12:05:47 |
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Bless. Dalek babies are so cute. 25/01/13 9:19:38 |
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"Do you like my Judge wig?" 04/08/22 20:04:48, edited: 04/08/22 20:05:35 |
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08/02/22 8:09:55 |
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In every town on a Sunday morning, you will always see pigeons, pecking away at a discarded Chinese. 19/05/21 12:06:19 |
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17/11/20 20:03:13 |
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"Just look at the state of you. Disgusting. I can't believe you got your nosed pierced" 16/09/20 20:06:11 |
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02/09/20 8:27:17 |
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Surely he wrote "covfefe"? --Molly R
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"You are offal, but I like you" 29/06/20 20:19:08 |
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29/05/20 12:16:53 |
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''So I decided during the train journey that when I grew up I would make all those f-cking Captioneers suffer, including my parents.''Extract from Anon's autobiography --Dave Bryan
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"Bloody weirdo. Did you feel him dressing us with his eyes?" 28/05/20 12:39:29 |
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That's the good thing about self isolating. I've finally got to clear out my kitchen drawers. 10/04/20 20:10:55 |
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When I clean out my drawers, I just throw them in the washing machine. --Willie Johnson
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23/10/19 8:37:49 |
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05/10/19 9:33:02 |
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Only some areas of his body need a bit of touching up --Mr Dome
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"Mmmmm, Chinese, Indian, Italian...I just love these 'all you can eat' buffets" 17/08/19 12:06:13 |
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03/08/19 15:14:12 |
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Well done, this was a tough pic. --James Lennox
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30/04/19 12:50:42 |
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"Excuse me mate, I think you're in my seat" 21/09/18 12:01:06 |
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"Serves you right. Fighting to lick the cream off the whisk" 27/05/18 13:37:39 |
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The Rubber Lipped Duck Eating Carp just opens its mouth and waits 18/09/17 12:37:18 |
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Just seen this... bloody brilliant! --Tony Busby
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31/08/15 21:54:35 |
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"I am not a number, I am a free dog!" 22/06/15 8:53:13 |
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21/04/15 14:38:37 |
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"I think he's dead Mr Barrymore" 26/03/15 8:02:39 |
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15/08/14 12:00:36 |
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01/08/14 8:08:35 |
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It was often said that Chris looked a lot like his mummy 20/04/14 8:05:37 |
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No, Anon, but the majority of your 95,000 comments are
9:01pm
comment on caption:
"...and apparently before he left the site, Leeds Baggie voted up all the shit photos" [Mark England]
As well as the 96,000 votes. I still don't know how you managed to get them to fit on the one page but you did.
9:50am
comment on caption:
"...and apparently before he left the site, Leeds Baggie voted up all the shit photos" [Mark England]
Here's hoping that kindness wins.
10:09am
comment on caption:
"...and apparently before he left the site, Leeds Baggie voted up all the shit photos" [Mark England]
Kindness never intends to win which is why it always does.

If you go through life always expecting to win even when you've failed numerous times, all you're going to do is make yourself miserable as you continually set yourself up for disappointment. The more you do this, the angrier you get and the more you act. If and when these plans don't come to fruition, the more likely you are to blame others for actions you've undertaken or set in motion yourself.
12:00pm
comment on caption:
"...and apparently before he left the site, Leeds Baggie voted up all the shit photos" [Mark England]
Did you mean to write "Rogues' Gallery", or is "Rouges" a reference to the redness on their noses?
1:01pm
comment on caption:
"..and now on Crimewatch, let's take a look at this week's Rogues' Gallery, the suspects of the raid on the warehouse of John West" [Mark England]
Thanks Molly. It's the colour of the wine I'm drinking. My day off, so started early today
1:36pm
comment on caption:
"..and now on Crimewatch, let's take a look at this week's Rogues' Gallery, the suspects of the raid on the warehouse of John West" [Mark England]
Is there an 'early start'?
5:40pm
comment on caption:
"..and now on Crimewatch, let's take a look at this week's Rogues' Gallery, the suspects of the raid on the warehouse of John West" [Mark England]
Yesterday, perhaps?
7:13pm
comment on caption:
"..and now on Crimewatch, let's take a look at this week's Rogues' Gallery, the suspects of the raid on the warehouse of John West" [Mark England]
"Sir, he's only there to stop the flies getting into your soup."
12:06pm
comment on caption:
"Waiter. I'm normally not one to complain but there's a Bearded Dragon in my Taco" [Mark England]
"I'm sorry sir, I'll remove the taco right away."
3:41am
comment on caption:
"Waiter. I'm normally not one to complain but there's a Bearded Dragon in my Taco" [Mark England]