super vote: ( left this week)
Booby Trap
30/09/23 7:06:34
Step, Toe & Sun
12/03/14 12:37:33
Carol wished a double decker would come...and a Mars Bar, a Twix, a Bounty and a box of Terry's All Gold.
30/07/13 11:21:55
"I bought all of this for 5 bucks"
25/01/25 12:07:50
Night Wear on Elm Street
21/02/25 12:05:37
"You spoil that bloody bat!"
27/04/20 11:12:35
"Have you been mis-sold PPE?'
03/04/20 7:09:53
'Been up since 4.am. Got a brilliant caption for the 8 a.m photo but I think it's gonna be a bit obvious. There's bound to be other captioneers thinking the same thing. I know, cut and paste. Oh five seconds to go. Finger hovering over add caption button...4..3 ..2 ZZZZZZZ '
02/05/19 7:16:05
Pros and Cons
21/10/16 11:54:20
Bruised Wayne
18/09/12 19:10:56
"Sorry to butt in, but has anybody seen my wheelchair?"
26/06/24 11:10:15, edited: 26/06/24 11:15:21
"Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit"
24/06/19 19:30:04
Never try to leave a barbers without paying
01/07/21 11:19:39
01/10/18 19:04:56
In his younger days, Don King had a fetish for licking squirrels arses
23/01/17 20:16:38
Cuepid
27/08/13 19:01:41
"The journey was so slow. It kept stopping at every lamp-post"
01/03/24 12:03:31
"Trek 300 miles across the plains in search of water? Fuck that I've just got a flight for £4.99 on Ryanair. Lands 10 minutes from the watering hole"
15/01/24 12:28:36
The Scottish version of Knight Rider had a car called KILT.
06/11/23 8:12:43
"OK, I agree, people shouldn't pollute the sea with rubbish and plastic but you have to admit... this polystyrene has come in handy"
30/09/21 19:52:45
Traffic news: The B345 has virtually come to a standstill due to Fogg
08/09/21 11:15:15
Police arrange an identity parade for a woman who claims that she was being watched through a keyhole of a swimming pool changing room
22/10/18 19:44:22
It's situated in a close knit community
15/02/17 20:06:24
Booby Trapped
24/11/23 8:09:50
"I swear if I catch you swinging past my daughter's bedroom again I'll...."
30/09/23 11:02:06, edited: 02/10/23 11:45:50, suggested edits
"John and Paul. The tune's great but could we tweak the lyrics?"
13/09/23 19:03:13
No one is talking about the elephant in the room
30/05/22 7:44:43
Even mutes can get Tourettes
18/05/21 11:17:50
Due to a bagpipe shortage, Luton's 'Scottish Exile Pipe Band' had to improvise
22/05/20 11:12:57
"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.."
30/06/19 11:05:59
"All I did was order a pint of cider"
02/04/16 19:05:57
Lavish
06/05/23 7:00:54
"Well done Dave. Now that's much better than your previous 'Grab the Cock' sign.
17/02/23 8:05:41
"Gotcha. Caught red-handed. Have you anything to say?""Miaow"
28/06/21 11:39:48
The relationship ended when Gladys pulled a Mussel
13/04/21 19:45:32
"Come on you two. Smoke break is over. Those chimneys ain't gonna clean themselves"
08/07/20 7:25:57
Air Raid Sirens
05/05/20 19:11:08
Rice wine made with fox? Those Japanese will eat anything!
22/03/18 12:09:42
"My nose is running""So is the fucking groom.... DAVE!"
24/11/13 20:20:38
"Take me to your weeder"
19/09/12 7:01:41
Like a Wine Stoned Cowboy
06/09/12 11:10:26
8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskeys
23/08/24 19:03:33, edited: 23/08/24 19:10:23, suggested edits
"I'm fed up with this. Can't we just buy a lemon squeezer?"
11/06/24 19:03:36, edited: 11/06/24 19:04:45
Dave Laboured away putting up his Christmas decorations, while Tracy was a bit more Conservative
07/01/24 12:09:11
Thinks "These humans must be vicious, they're all muzzled"
18/10/23 19:05:54
"Get a grip Dave, it's just a fucking Squirrel"
26/08/23 11:09:32
"Next on Animal Life Swap, we'll see how the Hippos are managing in their bedsit in Swansea"
07/09/21 7:14:09
"You're smiling now but you'll regret getting them done when you're older" remarked his dad with his Tandy, Blockbuster Video, Rumbelows, Do It All, Texas, and Woolworths tattoos.
27/02/21 20:39:51
It was at that moment that the magician wished he had used a rabbit
07/07/20 7:03:05
"Hello, I'm Dr Ball. How many mushrooms have you swallowed?"
30/04/20 7:27:16
Some Paralympic events simply do not work
09/04/20 7:35:58
"I got rid of that frog in my throat, but I'm still a little hoarse"
16/08/19 11:04:54
"I found it in the road. It's a 'Truck-killed flattypuss'"
19/09/18 7:53:27
They lead up to A Flat
07/02/17 12:13:01
"I want peanuts, a size 48 tutu and some sticky buns....or I drop the boy"
10/05/15 11:16:55
"I see Spiderman was pissed again last night"
05/04/15 11:00:58
"Good man, you got the razor blade. Now let's see how cute the meerkat looks without ears"
11/07/14 20:00:38
Gerbal Tea
05/07/14 11:19:27
"Run Forrest Run"
24/03/14 20:16:35
George was hoping to make the Olympus diving team
26/01/14 10:37:47
Raveheart
05/10/12 11:08:49
"Steak and Kidney £2, Mince Beef £1.50 and Cheese and Ham £1"Pie rates of the Caribbean
29/08/12 11:52:52
Walkies with dinosaurs
25/04/14 11:07:08
Ok. No need to Ramadan our throats
31/08/12 11:14:25
Only pools and horses
28/08/12 11:44:28
He snuffed it
30/10/24 12:00:38
"What a dilemma" thought Dave. Sitting there with his Arachnophobia, a carton of milk, a spoon and a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.
25/05/24 7:17:26, suggested edits
Even though he was sweating his nuts off in the dog suit, Dave would do anything to avoid paying the train fare.
18/10/23 19:02:35
Filly O Fish
18/10/23 11:09:48
Fanny By Gaslight
05/01/23 8:23:00
"...and no funny business"
13/09/21 7:05:29
Water Canon
07/07/21 11:22:43
"It might look cute, but the "African Pygmy Piranha Dog' just takes 30 seconds to take down and skin an adult zebra.."
21/08/20 11:09:41
Mary had a little lambIt ran into a pylon10,000 volts shot up its arse And turned its wool to nylon
17/08/20 7:54:46
"It's sore?. Well I told you to stick to the italian, but no, you had to go and eat the Indian"
19/08/19 8:37:25
"You spoil that bloody hamster"
30/03/19 8:06:50
Isle of Nan TT
28/08/18 11:07:39
Are you constipated? Is your toilet full of overgrown flowers? Then you could do with a prune.
07/02/15 20:29:27
"For christ sake Wills, you're a 42 year old man. You should be able to tie your own shoe laces"
22/01/25 12:02:42
🎵 It's such a purrfect day...
25/09/24 19:08:26
I've always wondered how she gets that parting in her hair.
13/09/24 11:09:42
Most people are surprised when they see the inner workings of a robot
15/08/24 11:17:30
"...Then we collect the slobber, bottle it up, and sell it as White Lightning"
08/08/24 11:07:13, edited: 08/08/24 11:09:00
Talk about flogging a dead horse
17/04/24 11:01:41
🎵 Tiers on my pillow
25/02/24 20:03:31
...and that morning his poor little daughter got into trouble for going to school with bullets, a service rifle and a Swiss Army knife.
25/07/23 19:29:09
That black masking tape is gonna hurt when they pull it off.
26/06/23 11:03:32
You think that's big? Look at the size of the Brussel Sprouts behind her
18/02/23 12:09:40
I've always thought that alien abductions would be more high-tech
11/07/22 11:07:35
"Sir, do you mind running through it again?"
22/06/21 11:05:16
"Blimey your dog is reading that book. That's amazing""Not really, he's supposed to be studying for his police exam"
28/05/21 11:17:19
The lower sign is for constipated bats
08/04/21 7:08:47
Abandoned as a pup, Fido was raised by a family of beavers
20/01/21 8:26:26
"The cat walked straight past. The disguise worked"
01/12/20 11:28:19
Con Heir
23/03/20 20:02:36
Sealicone implants
13/03/20 20:08:04
"So how will I recognise you?"
24/11/19 21:01:22
"Well, I told you not to pull its tail"
16/11/17 20:27:03
Blob the Builder
03/10/17 19:00:51
"Don't roll your eyes at me"
27/08/17 19:08:24
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If you've ever seen Year of the Rabbit, Joseph Merrick's a theatrical diva and a party animal 🥳
comment on caption: "I'm not an animal. I'm a human being" Coming to cinemas soon: The Giraffe Woman [Mark England]
That's a really clever caption, it shows the power of love. One day, I hope my daughter will grow up to be a hunger striker and dirty protesterThat would make me so proud 🥲
comment on caption: "Siobhan, what happened to your doll?" "She's on Hunger Strike, Dad, and now she's doing a dirty protest" "That's my girl" [Mark England]
Tee Willy.
comment on caption: Before the game became P.C, golfers used to tee off with baby Orcas. [Mark England]
Nod from 20:11:48 happy to edit if you'd like me to. Will try to give you a vote later.
comment on caption: "Please, no, not the cage. I'll be good, I promise, I'll be good....." [Mark England]
Thanks. Nod not needed. Looks like we had similar ideas at virtually the same time.
Nod from 20:12:13. Just noticed the similarity.
comment on caption: "Look what happens when I pull back my foreskin....oops" [Mark England]
Bare on a G String
comment on caption: "Anyone seen my G string?" [Mark England]
Lol. I've run out of super votes, unfortunately.
comment on caption: "Daddy, what's that horrible slurping noise?" [Mark England]
I reckon the pun lovers would appreciate this if it was simplified. Maybe 'They look like hookers' or even just 'Hookers'.
comment on caption: "Reception, Could you send two hookers to my room?" "OK sir, left or right?" [Mark England]
So random 😁😁😁
comment on caption: "Beewop durrrweep puurp. That of course was R2D2. Now for my next impression I'm going back to the 1970's. Ahem...De plane! De plane!" [Mark England]
suggested edits
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If you've ever seen Year of the Rabbit, Joseph Merrick's a theatrical diva and a party animal 🥳
11:41am
comment on caption:
"I'm not an animal. I'm a human being" Coming to cinemas soon: The Giraffe Woman [Mark England]
That's a really clever caption, it shows the power of love.
One day, I hope my daughter will grow up to be a hunger striker and dirty protester
That would make me so proud 🥲
3:49pm
comment on caption:
"Siobhan, what happened to your doll?" "She's on Hunger Strike, Dad, and now she's doing a dirty protest" "That's my girl" [Mark England]
Tee Willy.
11:48am
comment on caption:
Before the game became P.C, golfers used to tee off with baby Orcas. [Mark England]
Nod from 20:11:48 happy to edit if you'd like me to. Will try to give you a vote later.
8:16pm
comment on caption:
"Please, no, not the cage. I'll be good, I promise, I'll be good....." [Mark England]
Thanks. Nod not needed. Looks like we had similar ideas at virtually the same time.
8:39pm
comment on caption:
"Please, no, not the cage. I'll be good, I promise, I'll be good....." [Mark England]
Nod from 20:12:13. Just noticed the similarity.
8:14pm
comment on caption:
"Look what happens when I pull back my foreskin....oops" [Mark England]
Bare on a G String
8:43pm
comment on caption:
"Anyone seen my G string?" [Mark England]
Lol. I've run out of super votes, unfortunately.
5:27pm
comment on caption:
"Daddy, what's that horrible slurping noise?" [Mark England]
I reckon the pun lovers would appreciate this if it was simplified. Maybe 'They look like hookers' or even just 'Hookers'.
8:12pm
comment on caption:
"Reception, Could you send two hookers to my room?" "OK sir, left or right?" [Mark England]
So random 😁😁😁
10:34pm
comment on caption:
"Beewop durrrweep puurp. That of course was R2D2. Now for my next impression I'm going back to the 1970's. Ahem...De plane! De plane!" [Mark England]