creative x5

Step, Toe & Sun

12/03/14 12:37:33

lol x3

Carol wished a double decker would come...and a Mars Bar, a Twix, a Bounty and a box of Terry's All Gold.

30/07/13 12:21:55

lol x2 creative

'Been up since 4.am. Got a brilliant caption for the 8 a.m photo but I think it's gonna be a bit obvious. There's bound to be other captioneers thinking the same thing. I know, cut and paste. Oh five seconds to go. Finger hovering over add caption button...4..3 ..2 ZZZZZZZ '

02/05/19 8:16:05

clever x2

Pros and Cons

21/10/16 12:54:20

Bruised Wayne

18/09/12 20:10:56

lol

"Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit"

24/06/19 20:30:04

£50
WINNER

lol creative

01/10/18 20:04:56

lol x3 creative

In his younger days, Don King had a fetish for licking squirrels arses

23/01/17 20:16:38

lol creative x2

Cuepid

27/08/13 20:01:41

lol creative x2

Police arrange an identity parade for a woman who claims that she was being watched through a keyhole of a swimming pool changing room

22/10/18 20:44:22

It's situated in a close knit community

15/02/17 20:06:24

"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.."

30/06/19 12:05:59

"All I did was order a pint of cider"

02/04/16 20:05:57

creative

Rice wine made with fox? Those Japanese will eat anything!

22/03/18 12:09:42

lol x2

"My nose is running"
"So is the fucking groom.... DAVE!"

24/11/13 20:20:38

"Take me to your weeder"

19/09/12 8:01:41

Like a Wine Stoned Cowboy

06/09/12 12:10:26

lol

"I got rid of that frog in my throat, but I'm still a little hoarse"

16/08/19 12:04:54

"I found it in the road. It's a 'Truck-killed flattypuss'"

19/09/18 8:53:27

clever

They lead up to A Flat

07/02/17 12:13:01

lol

"I want peanuts, a size 48 tutu and some sticky buns....or I drop the boy"

10/05/15 12:16:55

"I see Spiderman was pissed again last night"

05/04/15 12:00:58

lol x2

"Good man, you got the razor blade. Now let's see how cute the meerkat looks without ears"

11/07/14 21:00:38

Gerbal Tea

05/07/14 12:19:27

"Run Forrest Run"

24/03/14 20:16:35

George was hoping to make the Olympus diving team

26/01/14 10:37:47

Raveheart

05/10/12 12:08:49

"Steak and Kidney £2, Mince Beef £1.50 and Cheese and Ham £1"
Pie rates of the Caribbean

29/08/12 12:52:52

Walkies with dinosaurs

25/04/14 12:07:08

Ok. No need to Ramadan our throats

31/08/12 12:14:25

Only pools and horses

28/08/12 12:44:28

lol

"It's sore?. Well I told you to stick to the italian, but no, you had to go and eat the Indian"

19/08/19 9:37:25

lol

"You spoil that bloody hamster"

30/03/19 8:06:50

Isle of Nan TT

28/08/18 12:07:39

lol

Are you constipated? Is your toilet full of overgrown flowers? Then you could do with a prune.

07/02/15 20:29:27

"Well, I told you not to pull its tail"

16/11/17 20:27:03

Blob the Builder

03/10/17 20:00:51

lol

"Don't roll your eyes at me"

27/08/17 20:08:24

lol x2

"You spoil that bloody Dingo"

01/04/15 21:51:15

clever x2

Japanory

25/09/14 12:05:16

creative x2

After successfully choreographing the Y.M.C.A dance, the dancers found that D.I.V.O.R.C.E by Tammy Wynette was harder to master.

15/05/14 20:24:32

creative

Nights In Light Latin

08/03/14 20:08:26

creative

Since the rabbit incident, King Midas was banned from keeping pets

15/01/14 8:39:19

creative

The owner has earned a fortune from this bar. Now he'd rather be called Filthy Rich.

23/10/13 12:05:47

Bless. Dalek babies are so cute.

25/01/13 9:19:38

"Mmmmm, Chinese, Indian, Italian...I just love these 'all you can eat' buffets"

17/08/19 12:06:13

clever

"Ooh, you gave me a start!"

03/08/19 15:14:12

clever

"Next stop, Vauxhall"

30/04/19 12:50:42

"Excuse me mate, I think you're in my seat"

21/09/18 12:01:06

lol

"Serves you right. Fighting to lick the cream off the whisk"

27/05/18 13:37:39

lol x2

The Rubber Lipped Duck Eating Carp just opens its mouth and waits

18/09/17 12:37:18

creative x3

Story of Keith Richards
Stone is wet - on a bender
Stone is dry - hasn't drunk for 2 hours
Shadow on the ground - just chinned Hank Marvin
White on top - sneezed when taking coke
Can't see stone - hiding from Hank Marvin
Swinging stone - back in the sixties
Stone jumping up and down- can't find fags
Stone gone - in rehab

31/08/15 21:54:35

lol

"I am not a number, I am a free dog!"

22/06/15 8:53:13

Half a dozen Seggs

21/04/15 14:38:37

creative

"I think he's dead Mr Barrymore"

26/03/15 8:02:39

Shock waves

15/08/14 12:00:36

lol x2

Meanwhile at the home for blind orphans....
"Sir, there's nothing coming out"
"Must be an airlock. Keep sucking son, keep sucking"

01/08/14 8:08:35

It was often said that Chris looked a lot like his mummy

20/04/14 8:05:37

Colin loved vegetables. Especially leeks, which was a big plus

10/04/14 20:41:39

creative

"and the main hazard for the Yellow Caterpillar is being attacked by Soldier Ants"

06/04/14 20:38:23

lol

Alas, his mother never fully recovered from giving birth to a six foot, fifteen stone, fully clothed baby.

03/03/14 12:05:44

lol creative

" I can see ya cowering behind the steering wheel. Come out Matthews, you murdering bastard"

25/09/13 12:20:26

creative

"These magic mushrooms aren't any good. Let's ask this giant worm if he knows where we can get any"

11/06/13 13:31:11

lol

A Nudist Columny

05/06/13 13:02:28

Grime Lord

06/03/13 12:03:12

WARNING. Smoking can give you stoat cancer

20/02/13 8:04:15

Making Headlines

09/01/13 12:13:59

"Ha Ha. They fell for the old church roof routine again"

04/11/12 12:04:11

Waleed Chakroun was fed up with tourists walking into his house and shitting in his sink

16/10/12 20:20:29

Pray as you go

21/09/12 8:28:06

Beat it juice

11/09/12 8:01:45

Lee King. Water pistol repairs.

20/08/12 8:04:29

In cardboard city, the other tramps considered Bill a bit snobby

30/09/14 12:07:03

lol

I shit on your grave

06/05/14 20:23:02

So that's how they make the orange ones.

06/02/14 10:21:15

My wife's the same. She always covers herself when she's changing too.

31/01/14 8:05:20

creative x2

Security firm 'Immort Alarms' need a new company sign writer.

03/12/13 12:47:11

lol creative

As if by magic....the shopkeeper appeared

14/09/13 12:25:09

creative

Drunkey

02/09/13 20:00:42

lol

In an effort to win back dwindling audiences, Crimewatch UK are now doing police re-inactments through the concept of dance

20/06/13 12:09:17

"You can fuck off with that fiddle, I'm not jumping over the Moon tonight"

17/06/13 12:04:16

Rear view mirror

18/04/13 8:04:45

To boldly row, where no man has rowed before

14/04/13 20:03:05

World War 2, France, a captured airman is made to prove his nationality with the 'Can Can' test.

12/04/13 20:51:44

lol creative x2

Before Arnold Schwarzenegger agreed to do the role, The Terminator was set to star Charles Hawtrey.

29/01/13 13:46:59

Too many latte nights

29/10/12 8:00:35

Sixty, shades and grey

03/10/12 13:54:22

"And as the mother clown enters the nest, the clown chicks open their mouths in anticipation of a custard pie"

26/09/12 8:26:11

Squirty Harry

20/08/12 8:13:03

clever

"We had pancakes yesterday. Today's Ash Wednesday"

16/08/19 20:24:15

You just can't get the staff these days

11/04/19 20:01:01

clever

"Midas! Stop playing with your food"

24/03/19 12:08:03

lol

"Smell your wife!"

20/03/19 8:16:48

"Buy our chickens at knocked down prices"

12/11/18 20:51:06

"...and because of melting ice caps, the Polar Bear can travel up to 150 miles a day, looking for a substantial meal. This one is on the final leg of a 2000 mile round trip to Billingsgate Fish Market.."

22/10/18 12:37:54

creative

"You spoil that bloody snake"

11/09/18 12:04:34

lol clever

"Have I got any African in me? Well, I did have about 9 months ago"

31/08/18 12:41:18

"It matches the Arms chairs"

03/06/18 20:47:36

"I'm not hiding under here" lied Pinocchio

04/01/18 8:03:41

"Sorry, we can't go any further ladies. I can hear a rattle in the engine"

04/02/17 9:07:16

Hyenas like to LOL in the grass

26/01/17 21:34:44

lol

"Darling. You know when you said that the wine tasted like cat's piss..."

15/12/16 20:10:01

At the nudist club, all members must wear a hat

17/09/16 8:10:51

Ben just couldn't control his crack addiction

08/06/16 12:05:10

"That's strange. The streets are desserted"

11/05/16 20:01:41

Gran kids

24/11/15 12:07:20

"I told you not to take too long in the car wash"

27/06/15 11:13:52

"Don't you think that you're taking this sand castle building competition a bit too serious?"

29/08/19 8:08:34

The Eyes Have Hills

28/07/19 20:32:58

"What idiot put the sloth over the piranha tank?"

06/06/19 20:29:23

lol

Raj had a feeling that he was being ridiculed when he noticed the letters ARF on the other side of the microphone

27/03/19 21:06:37

Shampoo and Setter

05/10/18 12:21:13

"There's gold in them thar heels"

14/05/18 12:55:16

It was a bit of a shock when Chewbacca turned up for the Tennis Club's 10th Anniversary get together, but i suppose that they shouldn't have let Janice, who has a speech impediment, organise it. They were expecting Sue Barker

24/03/18 20:32:32

"We like to break their fingers at a young age" said a spokesman for Rail India. "This stops them hanging on our trains, later in life"

29/12/16 12:09:29

"Has anyone seen Baby's Farley's Rusks?"
"Nyom..Nom..Nom. Nope"

05/10/16 14:07:06

Nani

25/06/16 12:13:27

Stainsbury's

27/01/16 12:19:56

lol

Many Glands Make Light Work

01/11/15 20:00:50

"I know that the new cleaner might be a bit clumsy, but she works for peanuts"

31/10/15 12:18:31

Shoe Horn

11/10/15 20:00:37

Static Eccentricity

28/08/14 20:00:35

An old man of 80, John was very proud of his body, and judging by his shadow, I would be too

03/06/14 12:19:50

"Fucking Hell Heston, I just wanted a coke!"

01/02/14 9:06:52

lol

It's so cold up on the moors that even the sheep wear balaclavas

06/01/14 20:15:42

"You spoil that bloody cat"

26/11/13 20:03:01

"No love, I said could you get a DULUX colour chart"

21/10/13 9:21:40

"I wish I was a Springer Spaniel"

31/05/13 12:14:32

Alley Barber

22/03/13 9:15:50

The boiler needs a service

05/11/12 9:07:38

She's lucky it wasn't a Shihtzu

24/09/12 8:29:07

Footlights

02/09/12 12:03:07

"Return to the Planet of the Apes please"

26/07/12 21:22:46

The King and Guy

18/07/12 11:19:24

"Ding Dong the bitch is fed"

28/06/14 20:03:36

lol creative

20/05/14 20:01:03

"Ok 40 quid it is. I'll have the dead corgi delivered tomorrow, Stavros."

16/02/14 9:38:41

Chalk and Tease

08/12/13 8:57:12

He absolutely worships that bike

28/09/13 9:08:05

Illegal and General

13/06/13 8:24:38

I love nature trails. You see all types of beetle

08/03/13 8:07:34

creative

For nursery crimes

04/03/13 8:09:52

Chick peas

09/11/12 20:11:27

Katie Fisher Price

09/11/12 12:21:16

His hut was the envy of the village. It had all mud cons.

03/10/12 8:08:29

Punk and Disorderly

02/10/12 12:04:08

It crawls through traffic

01/10/12 20:03:22

Bevvitate

18/09/12 8:01:01

"Blimey, he has more chins than my address book"

12/09/12 8:02:29

"And what would you like in your sandwich sir?"
"Can you put some jammin' jammin' jammin' jammin'"

29/08/12 12:18:24

Shite Mayor On Elm Street

25/08/12 12:27:47

Air Pistols

12/08/12 20:00:48

"Copper feel of these"

11/08/12 14:54:25

...even if you are The Saint.

06/09/19 8:00:56

Never order Surf 'n' Turf in a French restaurant

16/08/19 12:14:03

"Damn. He's not gay"

15/04/19 9:13:12

Their car always leaves skid marks

07/04/19 20:01:55

lol x2

Hugh was amazed that his Athlete's Foot was cured with a fish pedicure. He wondered if he could get the same results for his genital warts

21/03/19 20:29:06

Juke of hazard

10/03/19 12:03:08

"We've been photo Tommed"

20/08/18 12:17:25

lol clever

"Darling, remember yesterday when you pulled out in front of that tractor and gave the farmer the middle finger..."

04/08/18 20:13:48

Hijacked

16/03/18 21:17:04

lol

"SHARON!"

23/09/17 12:12:07

I did, but she got confused when I mentioned doggy style

21/08/17 12:12:09

clever

Alas, he died in a shower of bullets

29/01/17 8:55:31

lol

The left side of Heather Mills' walk-in closet

07/01/17 12:42:26

"Round 1"

24/10/16 8:05:25

lol clever

Linda wanted a 'spoon'. Paddy just wanted a fork.

12/09/16 13:50:02

"OK, I heard you. Your car is covered in bees. No need to drone on about it"

26/08/16 12:19:44

lol

"No Mr Glitter. Dressing them up like that doesn't make it alright"

24/11/15 12:09:07

"Sorry Sir, but you can't use the Bathhouse. It's members only"

24/09/15 12:19:44

Walt and Peppa

23/04/15 10:17:21

creative

"Oh My God it has Graham Wafers in it. I used to go to school with him"

05/03/15 20:11:43

Short and Stout

03/01/15 12:04:56

"I love Yew"

10/11/14 10:01:47

This picture speaks volumes

22/10/14 12:13:05

"A dirst class dicket to Dottingham please.."

16/07/19 8:25:11

"Your butt is showing"

27/06/19 20:10:19

That's the trouble with nylon night dresses. They're full of static electricity.

06/06/19 13:52:38

The vet said he had never seen such a bad case of Myxoma-notice

22/11/18 9:13:26

"I prefer Benson & Wedges"

12/09/18 12:05:59

The food hygiene assessor gave the restaurant a grade zero on hearing that the floor was covered in filth

06/08/18 9:14:09

ZOOOOM!

13/05/18 20:12:57

Later that night, Donald got his come-up-pence

13/03/18 21:02:40

"This stag party needs to liven up a bit"

19/02/18 12:14:21

clever

🎵 Blue Moon..🎵

18/02/18 20:05:14

Fifty, shades and grey

17/02/18 20:01:05

She wears her art on her sleeve

10/01/18 12:10:20

lol

"You spoil that bloody Iguana"

15/11/17 12:47:16

"Lads. When I said that we need a couple of stools.."

16/05/17 8:24:42

creative

"Come on then, Matthews. Make my fucking day"

08/05/17 20:01:40

Tom's died and gone to Evian

23/04/17 20:07:27

"Toilet..DUCK!"

30/01/17 12:04:57

creative

The Wombles of Brixton were more sinister than their cousins from Wimbledon

23/10/16 10:09:41

lol

"Pass me my glasses Ethel. I think the TV's on the blink again"

05/05/16 20:15:18

"Do you think father will ever be king?"
"Yours might Wills, but mine was last seen running a bar in Marbella"

04/04/16 20:21:57

clever

20/03/16 12:45:46

lol

At the Ann Summers factory, Katie Price orders a custom made dildo

15/02/16 20:12:30

lol clever

Michael Barrymore's cat has seen things that'll make your hair curl

14/02/16 13:03:00

clever

SAGA Lout

13/11/15 12:02:01