Mark England

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Forum Posts	1						4

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caption votes given since joining: 13,394
comment quota: 6
comment votes given since joining: 201

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captions

	creative x5 Step, Toe & Sun 12/03/14 12:37:33	28

	lol x3 Carol wished a double decker would come...and a Mars Bar, a Twix, a Bounty and a box of Terry's All Gold. 30/07/13 12:21:55	3 27
July's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats! --Chris Beach
	lol x3 "You spoil that bloody bat!" 27/04/20 12:12:35	25

	lol clever x2 "Have you been mis-sold PPE?' 03/04/20 8:09:53	25

	lol x2 creative 'Been up since 4.am. Got a brilliant caption for the 8 a.m photo but I think it's gonna be a bit obvious. There's bound to be other captioneers thinking the same thing. I know, cut and paste. Oh five seconds to go. Finger hovering over add caption button...4..3 ..2 ZZZZZZZ ' 02/05/19 8:16:05	1 25

	clever x2 Pros and Cons 21/10/16 12:54:20	25

	Bruised Wayne 18/09/12 20:10:56	24

	lol "Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit" 24/06/19 20:30:04	24

	lol Never try to leave a barbers without paying 01/07/21 12:19:39	3 23
Great caption Mark but I think Al Overy deserved a nod for being first to come up with the barber idea which hadn't occurred to me. --Stephen Bean

lol creative 01/10/18 20:04:56		20 23
I'm absolutely thrilled. Thanks to everyone for the votes and kind comments --Mark England
	lol x3 creative In his younger days, Don King had a fetish for licking squirrels arses 23/01/17 20:16:38	3 23
It's based on Don King's unique hairstyle --Mark England
	lol creative x2 Cuepid 27/08/13 20:01:41	23

	lol creative "OK, I agree, people shouldn't pollute the sea with rubbish and plastic but you have to admit... this polystyrene has come in handy" 30/09/21 20:52:45	1 22
Pmsl --Karen Oakenfull
	lol Traffic news: The B345 has virtually come to a standstill due to Fogg 08/09/21 12:15:15	2 22
Around the M25 in 80 days. Sounds about right. --Dan Nicholls
	lol creative x2 Police arrange an identity parade for a woman who claims that she was being watched through a keyhole of a swimming pool changing room 22/10/18 20:44:22	22

	It's situated in a close knit community 15/02/17 20:06:24	22

	lol "John and Paul. The tune's great but could we tweak the lyrics?" 13/09/23 20:03:13	21

	clever x3 No one is talking about the elephant in the room 30/05/22 8:44:43	21

	Even mutes can get Tourettes 18/05/21 12:17:50	1 21
Do sailors say clean things when they get Tourette's? --Willie Johnson
	Due to a bagpipe shortage, Luton's 'Scottish Exile Pipe Band' had to improvise 22/05/20 12:12:57	1 21
But it was a bit of a Wee Crankie idea. --Woofer 6
	"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.." 30/06/19 12:05:59	21

	"All I did was order a pint of cider" 02/04/16 20:05:57	21

	Lavish 06/05/23 8:00:54	20

	clever "Well done Dave. Now that's much better than your previous 'Grab the Cock' sign. 17/02/23 8:05:41	20

	clever x2 "Gotcha. Caught red-handed. Have you anything to say?" "Miaow" 28/06/21 12:39:48	20

	lol clever The relationship ended when Gladys pulled a Mussel 13/04/21 20:45:32	20

	"Come on you two. Smoke break is over. Those chimneys ain't gonna clean themselves" 08/07/20 8:25:57	20

	Air Raid Sirens 05/05/20 20:11:08	20

	creative Rice wine made with fox? Those Japanese will eat anything! 22/03/18 12:09:42	20

	lol x2 "My nose is running" "So is the fucking groom.... DAVE!" 24/11/13 20:20:38	1 20
lmfao...bravo. --Ross Davidson
	"Take me to your weeder" 19/09/12 8:01:41	4 20

	Like a Wine Stoned Cowboy 06/09/12 12:10:26	20

	lol x2 creative "Get a grip Dave, it's just a fucking Squirrel" 26/08/23 12:09:32	5 19
Feel free to experiment on any of my captions, Dave --Vivvy En
	lol "Next on Animal Life Swap, we'll see how the Hippos are managing in their bedsit in Swansea" 07/09/21 8:14:09	2 19

	lol "You're smiling now but you'll regret getting them done when you're older" remarked his dad with his Tandy, Blockbuster Video, Rumbelows, Do It All, Texas, and Woolworths tattoos. 27/02/21 20:39:51	3 19
Great thinking on this one. Love it --The Wolf
	It was at that moment that the magician wished he had used a rabbit 07/07/20 8:03:05	19

	lol "Hello, I'm Dr Ball. How many mushrooms have you swallowed?" 30/04/20 8:27:16	19

	lol Some Paralympic events simply do not work 09/04/20 8:35:58	1 19
I hate myself, but I can't stop laughing at this. --James Lennox
	lol "I got rid of that frog in my throat, but I'm still a little hoarse" 16/08/19 12:04:54	19

	"I found it in the road. It's a 'Truck-killed flattypuss'" 19/09/18 8:53:27	19

	clever They lead up to A Flat 07/02/17 12:13:01	19

	lol "I want peanuts, a size 48 tutu and some sticky buns....or I drop the boy" 10/05/15 12:16:55	4 19
in your opinion. --Lucky Elperro
	"I see Spiderman was pissed again last night" 05/04/15 12:00:58	19

	lol x2 "Good man, you got the razor blade. Now let's see how cute the meerkat looks without ears" 11/07/14 21:00:38	1 19
Is it just me, or this the best round of captions in ages? I love this. --Michael Winner
	Gerbal Tea 05/07/14 12:19:27	19

	"Run Forrest Run" 24/03/14 20:16:35	19

	George was hoping to make the Olympus diving team 26/01/14 10:37:47	19

	Raveheart 05/10/12 12:08:49	19

	"Steak and Kidney £2, Mince Beef £1.50 and Cheese and Ham £1" Pie rates of the Caribbean 29/08/12 12:52:52	19

	Walkies with dinosaurs 25/04/14 12:07:08	18

	Ok. No need to Ramadan our throats 31/08/12 12:14:25	18

	Only pools and horses 28/08/12 12:44:28	18

	Fanny By Gaslight 05/01/23 8:23:00	18

	"...and no funny business" 13/09/21 8:05:29	1 18
It's a clown so that's a given. --Barrie Bullock
	Water Canon 07/07/21 12:22:43	18

	"It might look cute, but the "African Pygmy Piranha Dog' just takes 30 seconds to take down and skin an adult zebra.." 21/08/20 12:09:41	18

	Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon 10,000 volts shot up its arse And turned its wool to nylon 17/08/20 8:54:46	2 18
Shocking --John Glover
	lol "It's sore?. Well I told you to stick to the italian, but no, you had to go and eat the Indian" 19/08/19 9:37:25	18

	lol "You spoil that bloody hamster" 30/03/19 8:06:50	18

	Isle of Nan TT 28/08/18 12:07:39	18

	lol Are you constipated? Is your toilet full of overgrown flowers? Then you could do with a prune. 07/02/15 20:29:27	18

	...and that morning his poor little daughter got into trouble for going to school with bullets, a service rifle and a Swiss Army knife. 25/07/23 20:29:09	17

	That black masking tape is gonna hurt when they pull it off. 26/06/23 12:03:32	17

	You think that's big? Look at the size of the Brussel Sprouts behind her 18/02/23 12:09:40	17

	lol I've always thought that alien abductions would be more high-tech 11/07/22 12:07:35	17

	lol "Sir, do you mind running through it again?" 22/06/21 12:05:16	1 17
"Do you mind running through the halls naked and screaming? Yes you do mind? Then do you mind if I do it after a question like that?" --Willie Johnson
	"Blimey your dog is reading that book. That's amazing" "Not really, he's supposed to be studying for his police exam" 28/05/21 12:17:19	17

	The lower sign is for constipated bats 08/04/21 8:08:47	17

	creative Abandoned as a pup, Fido was raised by a family of beavers 20/01/21 8:26:26	17

	creative "The cat walked straight past. The disguise worked" 01/12/20 11:28:19	17

	clever Con Heir 23/03/20 20:02:36	17

	Sealicone implants 13/03/20 20:08:04	2 17

	lol "So how will I recognise you?" 24/11/19 21:01:22	17

	"Well, I told you not to pull its tail" 16/11/17 20:27:03	1 17
Anon. As itâ€™s panto season you missed â€˜Oooohâ€™ from the start of your comment --Mr Dome
	Blob the Builder 03/10/17 20:00:51	1 17
...specializing in REALLY HEAVY construction. --Greg Curtis
	lol "Don't roll your eyes at me" 27/08/17 20:08:24	17

	lol x2 "You spoil that bloody Dingo" 01/04/15 21:51:15	1 17
must be me but its a bit sick! --Bad Boy Dennis.
	clever x2 Japanory 25/09/14 12:05:16	17

	creative x2 After successfully choreographing the Y.M.C.A dance, the dancers found that D.I.V.O.R.C.E by Tammy Wynette was harder to master. 15/05/14 20:24:32	17

	creative Nights In Light Latin 08/03/14 20:08:26	2 17
The moody blue background is perfect. --Pete
	creative Since the rabbit incident, King Midas was banned from keeping pets 15/01/14 8:39:19	17

	creative The owner has earned a fortune from this bar. Now he'd rather be called Filthy Rich. 23/10/13 12:05:47	17

	Bless. Dalek babies are so cute. 25/01/13 9:19:38	2 17

	"...and after spraying scent, beating their chests and howling loudly the Kangaroo mating ritual finally ends with a bout of air guitar.." 18/09/23 8:10:41	2 16

	lol "How much?" "4 bucks" "Will ya take 3?" 13/05/23 20:02:21	16

	Poor Tina. Even the tide won't take her out. 25/02/23 12:13:19, edited: 25/02/23 12:15:52	2 16
She's allready in a current relationship. --KimJong Pun
	Using a fish and cat as bait, young Dave was determined to catch himself a crocodile. 19/12/22 8:07:56	16

	"I shouldn't have got a cat and mouse tattooed on my privates" "Why's that?" "It's Itchy and Scratchy" 09/10/22 12:17:40, edited: 09/10/22 12:18:15	16

	Everyone in town remembers the year that Evel Knievel was Mayor 06/09/22 12:08:31	16

	I can smell some Thing burning. 22/08/22 8:47:22	1 16

	"Do you like my Judge wig?" "Yes, Mallard" 04/08/22 20:04:48, edited: 04/08/22 20:05:35	16

	lol It seems cruel now, but back in the olden days, gingers were made to carry orange balloons, so that bullies could spot them from a distance. 08/02/22 8:09:55	16

	clever In every town on a Sunday morning, you will always see pigeons, pecking away at a discarded Chinese. 19/05/21 12:06:19	16

	Silence is golden 17/11/20 20:03:13	16

	"Just look at the state of you. Disgusting. I can't believe you got your nosed pierced" 16/09/20 20:06:11	16

	fvhfvvteowjsikxk 02/09/20 8:27:17	3 16
Surely he wrote "covfefe"? --Molly R
	"You are offal, but I like you" 29/06/20 20:19:08	16

	lol Charlie hated caption time. 29/05/20 12:16:53	2 16
''So I decided during the train journey that when I grew up I would make all those f-cking Captioneers suffer, including my parents.''Extract from Anon's autobiography --Dave Bryan
	"Bloody weirdo. Did you feel him dressing us with his eyes?" 28/05/20 12:39:29	16

	creative That's the good thing about self isolating. I've finally got to clear out my kitchen drawers. 10/04/20 20:10:55	1 16
When I clean out my drawers, I just throw them in the washing machine. --Willie Johnson

more captions

last comments (total: 531)

Would have given you a LOL but I only had one supervote left.

Dave Bryan

27/08/23
8:43am

comment on caption:
"Get a grip Dave, it's just a fucking Squirrel" [Mark England]

This is interesting. After Molly kindly gave me 50 Supervotes I went back to this caption and tried to change my 'CREATIVE' to LOL. The result of my bungling is you now have 3 stars from me. Does this mean that in theory you could give a caption hundreds of votes by adding one supervote after another?

Dave Bryan

27/08/23
8:56am

comment on caption:
"Get a grip Dave, it's just a fucking Squirrel" [Mark England]

Feel free to experiment on any of my captions, Dave

Vivvy En

27/08/23
8:57am

comment on caption:
"Get a grip Dave, it's just a fucking Squirrel" [Mark England]

Yeah, Dave, Supervotes can accumulate, but I think you're limited to one of each type. So you could effectively give 5 votes total: 1 Regular, 1 Creative, 1 Clever, 2 Lol.