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"For goodness sake Colin, you and your bloody obsession for taking road kill home..."
"For goodness sake Colin, you and your bloody obsession for taking road kill home..."  photo | portfolio
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Chris Keegan Vote score: 6613Chris Keegan

"For goodness sake Colin, you and your bloody obsession for taking road kill home..."

26/09/19 8:05:13

 1
Lol --The Wolf
stone face Vote score: 5286stone face

"Well kids , our first trip to Knowsley safari park. I hope you all remember your dad's famous words. 'There's no way we're going through that baboon enclosure, to let them little bastards ruin my new car. We'll take this short cut through the elephant field'.."

26/09/19 8:54:19

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 4365Stephen Bean

These sort of accidents are happening a lot since Thomas Cook collapsed. I think it's because all their jumbos have been grounded.

26/09/19 8:00:15

 
John Llamas Vote score: 19914John Llamas

“Never again will I complain about a Zebra crossing .......”

26/09/19 8:50:13

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4317The Wolf

WARNING. Elephants are currently in mating season. Please keep car windows closed at all times whilst on Safari.

26/09/19 8:00:15

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4317The Wolf

"...and that's when I became a world renowned expert on Elephant belly buttons. Thank god we rented a car with a sun roof, or I'd still be working in Tesco"

26/09/19 8:31:53

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5264Dave Bryan

''Shoo!''

26/09/19 8:09:03

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 4365Stephen Bean

Of all the ways to die, Dave never expected he would one day be crushed to death by an elephant's penis.

26/09/19 8:08:28

 1
And yet one person dies from this every 16 seconds. --Scrijjy Doo
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 5802Hercules Rockefeller

"Like to see you assholes try & poach my tusks now."

26/09/19 8:04:37

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 36931Welsh Rarebit

Rogue Rage

26/09/19 8:00:37

 
John  Glover Vote score: 19416John Glover

Elephant: "Back a bit, over to your left, a little bit more. Oooh, just there, now very slowly drive back and forth. Ahhhh .... lovely."

26/09/19 12:49:11

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4317The Wolf

"Good morning, you're through to the AA, how may we help you?"

26/09/19 9:03:52

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 9088Vanessa the Guesser

"How can we get it off the car, Elton?"
"I could try tickling the ivories."

26/09/19 8:22:39

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4317The Wolf

"Bloody hell Dave, will you put your glasses on. We're not in a car wash and you ARE NOT holding the vacuum cleaner..."

26/09/19 8:15:40

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5264Dave Bryan

''Dumbo?''

''Yes, that sums your dad up perfectly.''

26/09/19 8:13:03

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 36931Welsh Rarebit

Ever had an itch that you can't quite reach...

26/09/19 8:03:33

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 5264Dave Bryan

''We should never have taken the trunk road.''

26/09/19 8:01:16

 
Molly R Vote score: 1057Molly R

I'd have got through if it hadn't been for that pesky radio aerial.

26/09/19 8:00:14

 
Mark England Vote score: 15409Mark England

An elephant was seen doing a ton on the motorway. Police have advised motorists to treat it like a roundabout.
(Nod to The Two Ronnies Christmas Annual 1981)

26/09/19 9:48:36

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 4365Stephen Bean

"This is the last time we go touring in Tuskany."

26/09/19 8:16:44

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 545Willie Johnson

Mitch McConnel doesn't allow anything to pass.

27/09/19 8:32:25

 
larry G. Vote score: 1364larry G.

A Texas hood ornament.

26/09/19 23:23:56

 
larry G. Vote score: 1364larry G.

“Fred, He’s using our car as a yoga mat.”

26/09/19 22:34:46

 
larry G. Vote score: 1364larry G.

Don’t ever try to make an elephant jump.

26/09/19 22:28:17

 
larry G. Vote score: 1364larry G.

Peanut Allergy makes elephants sleepy.

26/09/19 22:26:50

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 9429Neil Mackenzie

This is to smooth to get a good belly rub. I expected a Golf to be course.

26/09/19 19:08:25

 
Generic RedHead Vote score: 418Generic RedHead

"Yes darling I'm on my way home, and I've picked up that Indian just like you asked."

26/09/19 18:09:21

 
stone face Vote score: 5286stone face

"Listen! You're not keeping that bloody elephant on the car. Ivory goes or I do."

26/09/19 17:37:42

 
Poxy Jock Vote score: 71Poxy Jock

I don't remember this scene in Dumbo - is this from the remake?

26/09/19 17:18:02

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4792C CaMel

Tour guides will expect a large tip.

26/09/19 14:19:57

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 1150Scrijjy Doo

We need more trunk space.

26/09/19 14:02:47

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 13157Dan Nicholls

"Uh uh uh. Don't worry baby, I'll never forget you."

26/09/19 12:27:16

 
Carey Sutton Vote score: 759Carey Sutton

Africas save water campaign introduce the new jet blast car wash

26/09/19 11:25:29

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 7319Mr Dome

I think we'll need to cancel the ferry, Derek

26/09/19 11:01:50

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4792C CaMel

The safari reached its climax.

26/09/19 10:48:30

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4792C CaMel

Driveshaft

26/09/19 10:47:15

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 29911Tony Edwards

He's not the only one who will never forget this experience.

26/09/19 9:12:41

 
The Wolf Vote score: 4317The Wolf

Note to self. Don't go dogging again in South Africa. The locals are very different to what they are in England.

26/09/19 8:45:52

 
stone face Vote score: 5286stone face

"I always said one day, your father will be taken to tusk, over his driving."

26/09/19 8:44:48

 
Sophie Goddard Sophie Goddard

When you said you had a high sex drive... I wasn’t expecting this

01/10/19 9:41:41

 
sarah solway sarah solway

"Yippee, I caught one"

01/10/19 9:05:19

 
stone face Vote score: 5286stone face

"So the tour guide said ,spray the car with female elephant scent. That way, you'll be able to get alot closer to the herd."

26/09/19 8:56:24

 
Anna Caddy Vote score: 309Anna Caddy

Peugeot. Reaches the parts other cars cannot reach

26/09/19 8:36:43

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 4533Vivvy En

Nellie should have waited for the zebra crossing - he's so much better at it

26/09/19 8:18:27

 
C CaMel Vote score: 4792C CaMel

"When we said windows may be lowered to feed the horse..."

26/09/19 8:03:32

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2997James Lennox

Always keep an eye out for "Low Clearance" signs.

26/09/19 8:01:43

 
James Lennox Vote score: 2997James Lennox

Doggy style's OK, but elephant style doesn't spin my wheels.

26/09/19 8:00:35

 
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