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Chris Keegan Vote score: 14156Chris Keegan

"For goodness sake Colin, you and your bloody obsession for taking road kill home..."

26/09/19 7:05:13

Lol --The Wolf
stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

"Well kids , our first trip to Knowsley safari park. I hope you all remember your dad's famous words. 'There's no way we're going through that baboon enclosure, to let them little bastards ruin my new car. We'll take this short cut through the elephant field'.."

26/09/19 7:54:19

Stephen Bean Vote score: 34953Stephen Bean

These sort of accidents are happening a lot since Thomas Cook collapsed. I think it's because all their jumbos have been grounded.

26/09/19 7:00:15

John Llamas Vote score: 20527John Llamas

"Never again will I complain about a Zebra crossing ......."

26/09/19 7:50:13

The Wolf Vote score: 21266The Wolf

WARNING. Elephants are currently in mating season. Please keep car windows closed at all times whilst on Safari.

26/09/19 7:00:15

The Wolf Vote score: 21266The Wolf

"...and that's when I became a world renowned expert on Elephant belly buttons. Thank god we rented a car with a sun roof, or I'd still be working in Tesco"

26/09/19 7:31:53

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29502Dave Bryan

''Shoo!''

26/09/19 7:09:03

Stephen Bean Vote score: 34953Stephen Bean

Of all the ways to die, Dave never expected he would one day be crushed to death by an elephant's penis.

26/09/19 7:08:28

And yet one person dies from this every 16 seconds. --Scrijjy Doo
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 12478Hercules Rockefeller

"Like to see you assholes try & poach my tusks now."

26/09/19 7:04:37

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

Rogue Rage

26/09/19 7:00:37

John  Glover Vote score: 23174John Glover

Elephant: "Back a bit, over to your left, a little bit more. Oooh, just there, now very slowly drive back and forth. Ahhhh .... lovely."

26/09/19 11:49:11

The Wolf Vote score: 21266The Wolf

"Good morning, you're through to the AA, how may we help you?"

26/09/19 8:03:52

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 20926Vanessa the Guesser

"How can we get it off the car, Elton?"
"I could try tickling the ivories."

26/09/19 7:22:39

The Wolf Vote score: 21266The Wolf

"Bloody hell Dave, will you put your glasses on. We're not in a car wash and you ARE NOT holding the vacuum cleaner..."

26/09/19 7:15:40

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29502Dave Bryan

''Dumbo?''

''Yes, that sums your dad up perfectly.''

26/09/19 7:13:03

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

Ever had an itch that you can't quite reach...

26/09/19 7:03:33

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29502Dave Bryan

''We should never have taken the trunk road.''

26/09/19 7:01:16

Molly R Vote score: 4218Molly R

I'd have got through if it hadn't been for that pesky radio aerial.

26/09/19 7:00:14

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