Kenny Ireland

Dear Sir, I wish to complain about the helic.
Dear Sir, I wish to complain about the helicop.
Dear Sir, I wish to complain about the hel.

04/07/15 12:49:15

This is inspired. --Dan Nicholls

Time Lord.

14/12/19 10:46:08

"I'm sorry I'm late. I hit every traffic light on the way here".

17/09/20 19:03:54

"Dad would not let her wear a mini".

02/12/19 19:36:12

They are just out stretching their legs.

04/06/18 7:35:41

clever x2

Entrance.

01/12/16 21:52:22

"I've just taken off the petrol cap. I'm trying to run it on bee-pee".

26/08/16 11:14:06

An arrow escape.

16/05/19 12:02:00

Junk male.

16/03/19 15:34:30

Must keep eyes off Sarah's tits. Must keep eyes off Sarah's tits. Must keep eyes off Sarah's tits.

11/03/19 12:43:58

Liz used to have a couple of pointers.

16/07/17 12:24:19

Sundae service.

07/08/15 12:55:15

Gertrude the blind milkmaid would probably never find out why she was so popular.

29/03/14 20:16:54

She might get smallcox --Mark England

After losing a leg in the war, Rex had been decorated.

05/07/20 8:54:34

I hadn't counted the legs! --Molly R

Peril Harbour.

15/06/18 14:46:21

"The climax of our trip".

03/12/20 20:34:29

Climb-ax? --Willie Johnson

Gnome man's land.

02/08/20 7:59:31

Rosie was also wearing cutlery drawers.

08/01/20 8:38:42

12/05/18 9:25:09

06/08/17 8:37:15

17/11/16 9:31:16

"It won't stand up in court".

30/09/15 21:07:27

"After these I will have to do my roots".

12/07/20 12:48:30

In 1977 it was reserved for a Ford.

05/04/20 19:26:21

Bug eyed.

05/05/19 19:02:02

Chest freezer.

06/01/17 16:11:13

Protected species.

04/02/16 20:35:11

Amazon wish to apologise for the delay in delivery of your ovulation fertility kit.

02/02/16 17:33:33

apologise. Great caption btw. --Leroy Brown

"Just one more payment and it will be all ours".

01/10/15 19:10:32

Womanhood.

08/11/14 18:41:33

After being neutered we are left with an adder that can't multiply.

04/10/14 21:42:43

Starting the business was easy. He just picked it up as he went along.

27/11/20 12:40:54

"Hold it there. I see the offending leaf".

07/12/19 13:56:46

Is the one on the right supposed to be Fred Astare ?

14/07/17 11:25:44

"Who took the After Eights?"

29/10/15 20:01:37

The shopkeeper liked Johnny Cash.

25/06/15 21:56:11

offspring.

09/01/15 10:18:39

"...and from now on carry that pole with you when you are in rooms with ceiling fans".

10/12/20 9:01:30

Spurs fan.

21/07/20 11:55:58

We are sorry that he clothes we sent are unsuitable and will gladly replace them. Please use the boxes provided.

30/06/19 19:22:02

EweFOs

25/03/19 21:07:01

Spring lambs.

25/03/19 20:00:35

Did he win the overall prize?

22/03/19 12:13:50

Council inundated with complaints after fitting energy saving bulbs to changing rooms.

01/01/18 18:09:07

"Did you remember to change the phone setting from BC to AD"?

26/12/17 9:07:03

A greater than expected crowd attended Craig Eddie's welcome on board party.

Lou Reed.

05/09/17 12:08:06

lol x2

30/07/17 14:47:45

In black and white. ( no calor )

19/07/17 20:08:44

"Police suspect man of grooming".

25/05/16 4:24:21

William had often talked about topping himself.

30/03/16 13:30:44

"It was supposed to be Bo Peep but we couldn't get the staff".

25/11/15 14:08:36

Notice for TNT deliveries.

05/11/15 12:07:25

"Waiter. - I ordered a bottle of Pils and a glass.

15/02/15 14:49:52

The dispute was later resolved at the small claims court.

02/12/20 15:24:37

Lay preacher.

28/07/20 14:14:34

Discharged seamen not allowed.

29/01/20 22:18:42

North Korea prepare the helipad for the visit by Trump.

22/12/19 8:22:21

Banger racing.

26/06/19 11:49:58

Harvey Davidson.

19/04/19 11:21:29

Now that I see it, it is so obviously right - but it took over 20 minutes for anybody to come up with it! --Molly R

"These are some of the best books I've ever come across".

Booby prizes.

06/01/18 12:01:50

24/06/17 20:42:06

Undoubtedly --sandeep chahal

The girls used to have hourglass figures.

Window locks.

18/02/17 21:05:14

Barrow 1 Chesterfield 1.

31/10/16 15:32:27

Nod to the Spireites --Mr Dome

Primary colours.

08/04/16 8:00:07

31/12/15 9:51:20

...and it turns into a purse when it gets cold.

22/12/15 17:38:41

Space hopper's offspring is confirmed as bouncing baby girl.

11/10/13 22:06:51

Minor production.

20/02/14 12:39:04

"That's another non-voter disposed of."

09/02/14 6:05:33

Eau de toilette.

17/01/14 13:38:20

lol --Annalise Samuel lapira

The following morning would find them defending their case of funfair dismissal.

16/11/13 20:06:12

Clever :-) --Chris Beach

"Tatty bye".

14/10/20 3:22:23

Not all vicars are upright.

28/07/20 7:16:57

Hairstyle by Vidal Sasspoon.

18/12/19 8:08:34

"Hulk. Could you swop places with the invisible man please".

Suzi Cointreau.

04/05/19 16:33:46

14/06/18 10:19:36

"Yes. P*ss off you lanky Scotsman and take your f*ckin' bagpipes with you".

04/06/18 8:01:06

"Thank f*ck I've got 6 legs" thought the horse.

02/05/18 15:07:42

LOL! --Welsh Rarebit

"You could at least have levelled this table" grumbled the Angle of Death.

28/12/17 21:02:52

"That parrot must have had poor eyesight".

05/11/16 20:21:21

The 5 course meal was complete with aperitif.

13/06/16 21:36:32

"How the hell am I supposed to get my feet in there"?

05/05/16 20:13:05

"OK. Go and turn the tap on".

13/04/16 19:39:20

Another hardoned criminal is apprehended.

30/09/15 21:09:06

"You had better make sure she takes plastic".

06/05/15 8:17:27

"He has not had a license since 1987".

08/08/20 11:27:55

"If the repair man does not come soon I'm going to start walking".

28/07/19 8:32:20

The casting auditions were going well. They already had a Pinocchio and a choice of two for The Fairy with Turquoise Hair.

02/06/19 19:19:55

A Dell.

12/04/19 19:56:40

Gardener of the galaxy.

31/03/19 11:49:59

"Collect your kit here".

30/08/18 19:55:30

Should she not be wearing a creche helmet ?

22/07/18 19:29:18

It was within the queens power to have them beeheaded.

30/06/17 22:10:51

"You can buy the cigarettes at the kiosk, Sir".

Bay window.

01/03/17 21:31:40

The 2 litre model.

08/09/16 11:13:58

23/07/16 11:55:59

Ironically it's a blind corner.

26/05/16 19:28:07

...on "See Street." --Greg Curtis

Wait for the little green man.

04/04/16 13:37:37

Legs elevenses.

17/03/16 10:07:10

"Amazon wish to apologize for the delayed delivery of your new cot".

20/01/16 5:28:50

Infantry.

14/12/15 4:57:33

Bar prices are fixed. No Haglers.

16/11/15 14:11:25

...well, first you Hearns it, then Eubanks it.. --Mr Dome

Amazon have a strict policy on associates having snacks in their fulfillment centers.

30/10/15 12:08:13

'Fulfillment Center'? - nice to see Amazon have a sense of humour. --Tony Busby

Bring baby for refund.

25/06/15 20:36:07

Queue jumpers.

12/03/15 20:48:17

Bum-bags.

14/11/14 20:16:37

Bedtime storey.

07/02/14 9:01:56

Blind John had his own way of telling which way his care worker was facing.

29/11/13 13:16:01

There were probably better ways to to tell if the dog poo bin was full.

20/10/13 21:16:46

Pigeon fancier.

19/07/20 7:22:02

"When John offered to give me a lift I assumed he had a car".

28/06/20 15:24:49

Julie had been sent to buy ice creams with a list.

29/04/20 9:34:56

Suppermodel.

19/01/20 8:25:15

"Yes Mrs. Richards. Your room DOES have a sea view".

08/04/19 14:48:07

"That were a big girl. Her with the pram."

27/03/19 12:36:10

Brilliant use of the Northern dialect. Simple but very effective. --Karyn Harrison

Thinking inside the box.

23/01/19 6:47:30

01/01/19 20:20:10

23/06/18 7:09:44

12/12/17 20:47:34

03/12/17 21:41:44

12/11/17 20:17:13

Another Glastonbury festival and Sue tries to find her tent.

04/07/17 5:07:12

The bakery also made a good turnover.

12/11/16 11:04:20

They had run out of juice.

08/09/16 11:09:53

"Bar now re-opened. Thanks for your support".

26/05/16 11:07:24

Plunging neckline.

25/01/16 8:36:05

Limited edition.

27/06/15 14:23:28

"Put that shirt back on. Your making an exhibition of yourself".

19/06/15 11:20:11

23/11/14 23:03:14

07/07/14 19:59:10

27/12/20 10:28:48

13/12/20 11:03:43

12/12/20 11:21:11

Please explain - I don't uncerstand --Mr Dome

Los Cuatro Acrobatas carried on with their act.

22/07/20 12:21:58

"No entry" sign.

21/07/20 6:22:30

Trinidad and tobacco.

04/07/20 21:45:09

"You will need these for the glass ceiling".

25/06/20 11:09:47

"For goodness' sake Dave, I said a divan suite".

24/06/20 20:02:14

Strip lighting.

22/12/19 13:21:48

Hannah could create a stir at any party.

18/12/19 8:21:54

Santa could be coming early this year.

01/12/19 17:46:02

"You. Stop shouting "don't panic"".

27/06/19 11:13:47

*********************************
CAPTION.ME SITE MALFUNCTION
*********************************
There has been a problem allocating the correct values for "clever", "creative" and "lol".
Please use this entry for testing.

(nod to 10:59:10)

14/05/19 14:52:58

I tried but it's still not working --Mr Dome

Santanderriere.

01/04/19 19:19:51

Jenny was a poplar girl.

18/01/18 9:39:01

29/12/17 10:29:58

26/12/17 12:01:27

12/12/17 5:09:37

04/12/17 22:22:07

"Hello. Is that the police? Someone has stolen my phone".

22/09/17 10:36:48

"These wipes are not complimentary".

04/09/17 16:46:47

Royal hanger-on.

05/08/17 20:35:45

I see dyed people.

21/07/17 14:10:56

Battle-cry.

13/07/17 12:55:03

This one smells like my ring finger.

14/04/17 21:15:46

lol! --Welsh Rarebit

La coste of motoring.

11/01/17 17:47:28

Heavy plant crossing.

22/12/16 8:19:25

"Fancy a game of killer pool?"

02/09/16 7:08:36

A couple of well dressed men knocked on our front door. They were trying to convert me into slicing bread horizontally. I think they were Hovis Witnesses.

16/06/16 12:56:34

OK. --Kenny Ireland

Pitch.

25/04/16 16:37:18

Chamber music.

30/03/16 19:22:16

London Transport have announced that they will reduce the shutter speed of their bus lane cameras.

19/11/15 12:30:26

(Except for jumbo sausages).

Slinky outfit.

28/09/15 21:29:46

Role play.

26/08/15 4:43:39

09/07/15 22:32:23

...where you can choose your mates.

25/06/15 22:24:17

"Hooray. My bottom set of teeth are ready for collection".

07/05/15 21:10:49

Jean pool.

04/05/15 21:00:34

Hand crafted.

30/04/15 12:12:01

"If you break your leg, don't come running to me".

09/01/15 10:17:46

The design of the spoiler was a key issue.

17/11/14 6:34:49

The coming out of the Lord.

De-knees Van Outen.

15/11/14 22:27:11

12/02/14 21:12:55

"Hey! Do I look like a cat burglar?"

05/12/13 21:44:05

"Sleepwalker gets budgie stolen."

07/11/13 18:26:35

Satellite retriever.

28/09/14 7:50:04

We've got a moving staircase in our house as well but the surveyer called it dry rot.

26/09/14 7:24:19

Must have given you a sinking feeling. --Boycie

Scene and not herd.

08/08/14 23:33:32

The firemen were able to save part of the building.

15/06/14 19:44:06

She was only the roadlayer's daughter but she would go anywhere to get her asphalt.

29/11/13 13:06:39

"I see that the dye from his face mask is not dry yet".

21/10/20 7:42:57

"One day he will be as big as Beethoven".

27/08/20 18:09:07

"An excellent casting. There is also a relief on canvas".

01/08/20 7:10:10

Are they keeping to the tomb eater rule ?

22/07/20 8:52:54

This is not a stock picture.

12/07/20 14:04:33

"I'm not coming down. Not on your Nelly".

24/06/20 12:28:06

"The topless bar was also a disappointment".

12/01/20 7:27:54

The bottomless drinks were a disappointment too. All the glasses had a bottom on them. --Willie Johnson