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Crunchy Chords

signed up: 2 years, 9 months ago
profile viewed: 5 time(s) this week
caption quota: 61
votes given since joining: 10,247
super vote quota: 20

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Enjoys candlelit dinners and long woks on the bleach.

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captions

26/04/19 13:59:11

05/09/18 19:00:08

lol

clever

07/02/18 15:38:41

lol

"Gynaecologist?"
"Close. Pussy doctor."

05/11/19 8:01:50

creative

08/09/18 7:00:18

lol

Dave wasnt impressed at how Legal and General settled his claim for the roof repair.

02/08/19 19:00:38

I was too slow putting on my Poppins caption but I think yours could stay considering how obvious Poppins is and your caption was great. --Stephen Bean

lol x2

"Well, you're no Heidi Klum, but you'll do..."

01/05/19 7:04:12

lol

22/10/19 7:00:07

lol

"Oh dear, I have Camel toe again."

10/10/19 19:00:09

27/02/19 20:01:35

clever

20/09/18 7:00:11

Stop looking at my zit.... STOP LOOKING AT IT!

08/08/18 19:03:17

29/07/18 7:00:42

23/10/19 19:04:37

lol

30/09/19 19:00:07

09/03/19 20:00:12

03/02/19 8:00:57

10/08/18 19:02:10

...and pigeon-toed. --Michael Winner

“Wash your windscreen?"

28/04/19 19:00:25

clever x2

25/04/19 19:00:10

lol

“Then as we walked toward the waiting helicopter, the pilot shouted, ‘Who wants to ride up front?’ and I raised my hand and shouted, Bagsy!’ . ...And thats how I lost my arm.”

05/02/19 8:00:26

30/11/18 20:01:06

Salty! --Scrappy Doo

04/10/19 7:00:07

"It was easier than building a coop," said Dave. "But catching the eggs is a bugger."

25/09/19 19:03:28

14/08/18 19:01:49

"Sean Connery said he enjoyed looking at my ash when I walk."

10/10/19 19:02:10

Maths for Dummies

06/10/19 15:22:48

30/07/18 19:00:09

20/07/18 8:47:54

08/05/18 19:09:11

clever

15/11/17 20:46:14

"If you think our daughter is evil, wait till you meet arson."

02/12/19 20:00:08

05/05/19 19:00:06

"Now you see me, now you dont, now you see me ..

09/04/19 19:00:48

“I promised my mum I'd cut back to just one a day.”

25/10/18 14:29:43

17/10/18 7:11:48

"Mum, will you leave the landing light on tonight?"

06/09/18 19:01:53

24/08/19 7:00:09

"No Sweetie, put it down ... we have to cook it first."

20/08/19 19:23:59

20/03/19 20:01:09

creative

24/12/18 9:18:46

Its not you but i really cant see this being a long term relationship

16/12/18 8:14:47

creative

I'm all packed for our romantic weekend: my girlfriend said to buy her a sexy teddy and some dirty toys....

18/10/18 19:06:01

lol

Now theres a man who can conduct himself

05/06/18 19:00:17

The Internet allows people to ignore each other at speeds that were previously unimaginable.

28/08/17 13:47:10

20/10/19 14:36:31

The randy little alien played with himself as he approached his victim. Then he saw the eerily accurate sign.

13/08/19 7:00:09

21/07/19 7:08:41

23/02/19 17:35:11

Not pictured: "Knickers in a Twist"

22/02/19 14:51:27

James tried to cheer up his running partner. His wife had left him a Dijon letter.

25/01/18 8:05:57

“It looks like some sort of jellyfish…” “Thomas, do you have to stick your lighter up everythings arse?”

21/01/18 20:47:55

31/10/17 20:00:45

Usually the squad wait until after the match to get sh*t-faced.

02/09/17 14:37:25

Blarney Stoned

15/08/17 7:08:21

10/11/19 15:50:43

Bullfights are much more exciting in the U.S.

28/07/19 11:54:50

lol

"My mum says I go out with too many arse holes."

26/07/19 13:56:48

creative

“Step 219: Now that you have built your boat, gone to sea, caught your load of fish, brought them back and put them on display in your boat as your dowry, the final step to attracting a husband is to stand proudly next to your boat and wait for the eligible men of the village to come and select you as a wife. Oh, and remove your robe, that's key.”

17/05/19 7:06:00

09/03/19 15:41:39

10/02/19 8:00:31

clever

22/12/18 8:02:13

Captioneers reacted positively to
Stone Face’s new profile pic.

19/10/18 19:00:40

clever

05/09/18 19:17:12

♪ Sisters are doing it for their selfies ♪

27/08/18 19:20:45

12/03/18 20:21:11

Apparently its a house full of squatters.

21/10/19 19:02:06

This would work better in my opinion if you shortened it to 'Beware of the bog'. --Karyn Harrison

"Three times, Ive tried to hit that bastard sign with my javelins."

09/10/19 21:28:02

04/10/19 7:00:19

. . . . . 🎵 Father McKenzie, . reading his book .

26/08/19 7:00:11

Day tripper? --Dave Bryan

22/07/19 19:00:12

"This mask is fantastic" said Donald. "Ill take 16 for my Cabinet and one for Melania to wear in bed."

13/07/19 19:01:12

29/05/19 19:00:09

Sister Mary Jane

27/05/19 19:00:07

17/04/19 19:01:25

He's an Australian actor, who like all Australians suffers from an uncontrollable desire to violently destroy anything culturally sophisticated. Oh, and he plays Thor. --James Lennox

18/03/19 20:01:16

May the farce be with you. --stone face

26/02/19 20:48:38

*Thinks* So much better than a car window

13/01/19 20:01:14

Snarly Davidson

13/01/19 20:00:08

Holy mackerel!

06/01/19 20:00:41

creative

Sometimes his dark inner self emerged and it was clear he was bipolar.

01/01/19 8:00:06

“Looks like this is the end of the line.”

31/10/18 20:00:36

Introducing the new cheese and bunion flavour Wotsits.

12/10/18 19:01:20

13/08/18 19:04:52

Tune in next week when our experimental chef tackles TV dinners.

27/07/18 19:03:07

Dave, a budding photographer, really hoped the bird would fly off so he could take a better shot

11/06/18 19:00:11

On the plus side, she can
finally ditch the two clamshells.

16/05/18 20:18:39

24/11/17 20:02:26

Ive tried, but hes more interested in the birds than the bees.

21/08/17 13:44:44

01/06/17 7:07:43

It was running fine until Dave put it into cruise control.

15/04/17 7:19:03

11/11/19 20:01:41

creative

clever

S🎈🎈n the psychedelic pill💤 themselves becaⓂ️e part 🧿f my 🏨🗼🛴🛴⛎☪️ℹ️♑🅰️✝️♟️👁️‍🗨️♑.

02/11/19 16:03:40

Yes, it's only when you see it on a mobile that you can see what it says. --Welsh Rarebit

"My boyfriend is fun, but sometimes he's a bit of a pain in the arse."

16/10/19 19:00:10

Never Mind The Bollocks..Heres the Sex Pistils.

14/10/19 19:01:36

"I suggest you get out of the childrens ride sir and go back to tending your bees".

19/09/19 19:00:25

https://i.amz.mshcdn.com/7nnNwOf1xXA8d7upd1-0Fmk3wmM=/950x534/filters:quality(90)/https%3A%2F%2Fblueprint-api-production.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fuploads%2Fcard%2Fimage%2F683466%2Fb910c249-f3a1-426c-ba49-f85e135c7dc1.jpg --Scrijjy Doo

The drill sergeant’s voice wasn’t as intimidating after he’d eaten Haribo.

21/08/19 19:01:06

Handy Smurf was looking forward to his birdwatching honeymoon, when he would finally see some blue tits.

03/06/19 19:01:00

Visitors to local beach warned of escaped black, poisonous salamander seen diving into peoples boats

17/05/19 7:00:55

03/05/19 7:00:24

Matt and too veg

23/04/19 19:06:01

Salad dressing

31/12/18 20:00:36

Chariots of Fired

25/10/18 7:22:36

15/09/18 19:00:20

28/07/18 7:07:51

13/06/18 15:28:35

I heard she sleeps around.

29/05/18 7:23:38

Due to a typo, Noah built an enormous shark.

14/05/18 21:49:48

07/09/17 20:16:18

01/09/17 13:49:37

Ironing broad

30/04/17 14:30:55

"Great Scott, Marty, you're back! And my time machine also does sex changes!"

02/12/19 14:37:36

"Stop complaining and put it in your trap."

24/11/19 16:58:47

"For Christs sake Kenneth, put down the camera and get this f*cking thing off my head."

18/11/19 20:00:06

Alas, poor Yorick never dreamt his wife would fill his head with so much crap even after he died.

31/10/19 20:05:44

04/10/19 19:00:11

My solution is to simply feed the grain to the pig and the pig to the fox. --Michael Winner

02/10/19 19:52:56

Bugger North Korea did have nuclear weapons after all

26/07/19 19:03:18

'Oh thank God! I imagined much worse when you said you had sunburned spots under your helmet.'

26/07/19 14:16:59

Winner of the Golden Globes

09/05/19 14:39:49

05/05/19 20:06:12

17/04/19 19:00:36

24/03/19 12:57:22

09/02/19 8:00:07

Beware of rubber duckies. Theyre dangerous little bastards.

02/02/19 8:01:34

...that was when I realised that one Jelly baby had fallen off my shoulder. :-) --Glyn Evans

27/01/19 8:00:08

Well, if you really want the truth, your lips taste like plastic and you have a hairy tongue.

15/01/19 20:03:04

22/12/18 8:31:50

27/11/18 20:00:33

09/11/18 20:00:16

27/09/18 19:00:09

23/08/18 19:00:14

26/05/18 21:25:36

clever

09/05/18 19:02:21

. . "Youre a very charismatic entrepreneur, but I just dont think theres a market for combination torch/hairdryers, so Im out."

19/12/17 8:09:50

"They've always had a head for numbers."

15/11/17 20:31:02

Time Team unearth ancient lion tamer settlement

04/05/17 8:00:52

04/05/17 7:48:34

It's taken years of hard work but Michael has finally begun to understand the rules of cricket.

01/12/19 8:39:24

Nice try, but no, I still don't get it. Is the lady with the adam's apple the quarterback? --Michael Winner

10/11/19 20:02:20

I personally find this sort of photo rather cruel that we mock this exploitation for human entertainment but nobody in this day and age should have to put up with wearing flared jeans

24/09/19 7:02:54

Ive created a tomato with a fuse. Im calling it.. A tom bomb

18/09/19 19:18:37

lol

"Brexit? No, that was just funny. It was after I met Trump that I started drinking and smoking"

12/09/19 14:56:38

The royal family kindly request that you do not feed the pigeons outside Buckingham Palace...

26/08/19 14:42:05

The Changing of the Garb is brilliant on its own, drop the rest :) --Michael Winner

21/08/19 19:00:07

20/08/19 19:00:08

22/06/19 19:46:33

How many squares do you see? 4,328,383 likes 3,424,244 comments

23/05/19 22:14:28

Back in the day, it was much more difficult to submit captions.

08/05/19 17:43:43

#MeatToo!

02/05/19 13:52:46

15/04/19 7:00:22

09/04/19 19:00:27

Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle.

04/04/19 7:36:38

25/03/19 20:00:34

Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says shes fine.

14/03/19 20:00:14

"We were caught playing football in the monastery, now weve been suspended."

19/02/19 20:00:06

09/02/19 20:00:23

08/02/19 8:00:24

I know you are busy but its just a quick survey.

11/01/19 8:04:45

His last wish was to put his face between two baps.

19/11/18 20:01:30

At least he died smiling! --Karyn Harrison

13/11/18 20:00:12

lol

"Sarah love, are you still in the toilet?"

31/10/18 13:52:43

LOL! That takes me back half a century to my teenage years, when my friends and I all had long hair, Christine Keeler-style, and a couple of half-pints would overset us. Holding a friend's hair back while she called for Ruth and Hughie was a co... --Molly R

"If I eat both it might make me Sikh."

14/10/18 16:40:24

The Proclaimers announce their long lost brother is growing on them.

12/09/18 19:01:18

27/08/18 19:00:38

For Gods sake Fred Ive been looking all over for that Multi LED Torch!!

19/08/18 7:00:33

29/01/18 20:00:55

25/01/18 8:03:00

creative

17/01/18 20:05:00

08/12/17 23:19:38

creative

28/11/17 20:21:16

How did the game at the countdown fancy dress party go Rachel?...rubbish, first game there was 2 arrs and seven cs

11/07/17 14:57:58

13/06/17 7:37:48

11/05/17 7:34:22

Those data charges will cost him an arm AND a leg.

30/11/19 20:04:48

"I told you not to call the security guard a useless fat git."

26/11/19 2:22:27

By cloning himself Dobby could take turns working 1 day and taking 5 days off.

08/10/19 19:02:53

'That'll do, Pink. That'll do.'

02/10/19 7:01:57

" God damn Smithers, hurry it up. I must get to Lady Blithesworth soon. And if I do get to her in this old, worn out, whats you call it, Im going to.." "Banger, sir." "Steady on Smithers, its our first date."

01/10/19 19:00:12

21/09/19 19:01:51

10/09/19 19:00:43

09/09/19 8:45:41

Norway can you do that --Mr Dome

10/08/19 19:03:21

08/08/19 19:06:11

"John, get rid of this old thing and replace it with one of those new bags that look like a fish."

29/07/19 14:19:56

22/07/19 19:22:27

My horse says this every time I drop by and say "Guess whats for dinner?"

18/07/19 19:00:11

Looks like the match went to sudden death.

17/07/19 14:31:52

Turns out the human brain stores information in chunks.

15/07/19 19:53:27

Clearly she's been enjoying his package, and he's been enjoying her box.

30/06/19 19:00:07

"Listen Molly, its nothing personal, but the boss has just asked me to fire you."

15/05/19 14:41:13

14/05/19 14:24:35

IAAF ban South African womens relay team.

03/05/19 19:00:30

02/05/19 14:58:03

“Just wait 'til they see you…. Who's the ugly duckling now?

25/04/19 19:00:37

29/03/19 13:49:47

“Take me home, Nigel, I don't think I'll be needing you in the bedroom any more.”

18/03/19 20:01:57

Flies and Dolls

25/02/19 20:00:08

18/02/19 20:01:45

"So Darling, I had my piano upgraded. Do you like the pop-up scenery?" "Its nice Dear, but installing the slide was a stroke of genius."

07/02/19 15:10:50

more captions

last comments (total: 115)

Yes, it's only when you see it on a mobile that you can see what it says.

Welsh Rarebit

04/11/19
10:28pm

comment on caption:

S🎈🎈n the psychedelic pill💤
themselves becaⓂ️e part 🧿f my

🏨🗼🛴🛴⛎☪️ℹ️♑🅰️✝️♟️👁️‍🗨️♑. [Crunchy Chords]

Haha, yes I was afraid that might happen! It was alright on my Android and on a Mac's Chrome browser, but I couldn't check the other platforms. Thanks for the votes!

(caption author)

05/11/19
12:15am

comment on caption:

S🎈🎈n the psychedelic pill💤
themselves becaⓂ️e part 🧿f my

🏨🗼🛴🛴⛎☪️ℹ️♑🅰️✝️♟️👁️‍🗨️♑. [Crunchy Chords]