	This Week			Last Week			All Time
	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	5	2	#25	7	3	#33	1127	1476	#73
Comments	1			1	1	#6	316	231	#14
Forum Posts	1						2
Tips

Crunchy Chords

signed up: 2 years, 3 months ago
profile viewed: 7 time(s) this week
caption quota: 42
votes given since joining: 8,414
super vote quota: 12

profile photos send private message captions comments received

Enjoys candlelit dinners and long woks on the bleach.

To send a private message to Crunchy please log in

captions

26/04/19 14:59:11

05/09/18 20:00:08

07/02/18 15:38:41

08/09/18 8:00:18

"Well, you're no Heidi Klum, but you'll do..."

01/05/19 8:04:12

27/02/19 20:01:35

clever

20/09/18 8:00:11

Stop looking at my zit.... STOP LOOKING AT IT!

08/08/18 20:03:17

29/07/18 8:00:42

09/03/19 20:00:12

03/02/19 8:00:57

10/08/18 20:02:10

...and pigeon-toed. --Michael Winner

“Wash your windscreen?"

28/04/19 20:00:25

clever x2

“He's my plus swan."

25/04/19 20:00:10

lol

“Then as we walked toward the waiting helicopter, the pilot shouted, ‘Who wants to ride up front?’ and I raised my hand and shouted, Bagsy!’ . ...And thats how I lost my arm.”

05/02/19 8:00:26

30/11/18 20:01:06

Salty! --Scrappy Doo

"Dont stand so close to me!" - The Police

14/08/18 20:01:49

30/07/18 20:00:09

20/07/18 9:47:54

08/05/18 20:09:11

clever

15/11/17 20:46:14

Fly-lashes

05/05/19 20:00:06

"Now you see me, now you dont, now you see me ..

09/04/19 20:00:48

“I promised my mum I'd cut back to just one a day.”

25/10/18 15:29:43

17/10/18 8:11:48

"Mum, will you leave the landing light on tonight?"

06/09/18 20:01:53

20/03/19 20:01:09

creative

24/12/18 9:18:46

Its not you but i really cant see this being a long term relationship

16/12/18 8:14:47

creative

I'm all packed for our romantic weekend: my girlfriend said to buy her a sexy teddy and some dirty toys....

18/10/18 20:06:01

lol

Now theres a man who can conduct himself

05/06/18 20:00:17

The Internet allows people to ignore each other at speeds that were previously unimaginable.

28/08/17 14:47:10

23/02/19 17:35:11

22/02/19 14:51:27

James tried to cheer up his running partner. His wife had left him a Dijon letter.

25/01/18 8:05:57

“It looks like some sort of jellyfish…” “Thomas, do you have to stick your lighter up everythings arse?”

21/01/18 20:47:55

31/10/17 20:00:45

Usually the squad wait until
after the match to get sh*t-faced.

02/09/17 15:37:25

Blarney Stoned

15/08/17 8:08:21

creative

“Step 219: Now that you have built your boat, gone to sea, caught your load of fish, brought them back and put them on display in your boat as your dowry, the final step to attracting a husband is to stand proudly next to your boat and wait for the eligible men of the village to come and select you as a wife. Oh, and remove your robe, that's key.”

17/05/19 8:06:00

09/03/19 15:41:39

10/02/19 8:00:31

clever

22/12/18 8:02:13

Captioneers reacted positively to
Stone Face’s new profile pic.

19/10/18 20:00:40

clever

05/09/18 20:17:12

♪ Sisters are doing it for their selfies ♪

27/08/18 20:20:45

12/03/18 20:21:11

Sometimes Thomas plays flat.

29/05/19 20:00:09

Sister Mary Jane

27/05/19 20:00:07

17/04/19 20:01:25

He's an Australian actor, who like all Australians suffers from an uncontrollable desire to violently destroy anything culturally sophisticated. Oh, and he plays Thor. --James Lennox

18/03/19 20:01:16

May the farce be with you. --stone face

26/02/19 20:48:38

*Thinks* So much better than a car window

13/01/19 20:01:14

Snarly Davidson

13/01/19 20:00:08

Holy mackerel!

06/01/19 20:00:41

creative

Sometimes his dark inner self emerged and it was clear he was bipolar.

01/01/19 8:00:06

“Looks like this is the end of the line.”

31/10/18 20:00:36

Introducing the new cheese and bunion flavour Wotsits.

12/10/18 20:01:20

13/08/18 20:04:52

Tune in next week when our experimental chef tackles TV dinners.

27/07/18 20:03:07

Dave, a budding photographer, really hoped the bird would fly off so he could take a better shot

11/06/18 20:00:11

16/05/18 21:18:39

24/11/17 20:02:26

Ive tried, but hes more interested in the birds than the bees.

21/08/17 14:44:44

01/06/17 8:07:43

It was running fine until Dave put it into cruise control.

15/04/17 8:19:03

Handy Smurf was looking forward to his birdwatching honeymoon, when he would finally see some blue tits.

03/06/19 20:01:00

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gal at Sea

17/05/19 8:00:55

03/05/19 8:00:24

23/04/19 20:06:01

31/12/18 20:00:36

25/10/18 8:22:36

15/09/18 20:00:20

28/07/18 8:07:51

13/06/18 16:28:35

29/05/18 8:23:38

Due to a typo, Noah built an enormous shark.

14/05/18 22:49:48

07/09/17 21:16:18

01/09/17 14:49:37

Ironing broad

30/04/17 15:30:55

Winner of the Golden Globes

09/05/19 15:39:49

Weevil-eye

05/05/19 21:06:12

17/04/19 20:00:36

24/03/19 12:57:22

09/02/19 8:00:07

Beware of rubber duckies. Theyre dangerous little bastards.

02/02/19 8:01:34

...that was when I realised that one Jelly baby had fallen off my shoulder. :-) --Glyn Evans

27/01/19 8:00:08

Well, if you really want the truth, your lips taste like plastic and you have a hairy tongue.

15/01/19 20:03:04

22/12/18 8:31:50

27/11/18 20:00:33

09/11/18 20:00:16

27/09/18 20:00:09

23/08/18 20:00:14

26/05/18 22:25:36

clever

09/05/18 20:02:21

. . "Youre a very charismatic entrepreneur, but I just dont think theres a market for combination torch/hairdryers, so Im out."

19/12/17 8:09:50

"They've always had a head for numbers."

15/11/17 20:31:02

Time Team unearth ancient lion tamer settlement

04/05/17 9:00:52

04/05/17 8:48:34

"Well, your photography shows an understanding of the Rule of Thirds, but now let's work a bit on this thing called 'exposure'".

23/05/19 23:14:28

Back in the day, it was much more difficult to submit captions.

08/05/19 18:43:43

#MeatToo!

02/05/19 14:52:46

Her husband Bob might have lost interest, but Mark still found Jane irresistible even with her sideburns.

15/04/19 8:00:22

Abbey Rome

09/04/19 20:00:27

Be careful not to annoy them. They might fly off the handle.

04/04/19 8:36:38

25/03/19 20:00:34

Scientists attempt to calculate what a woman really means when she says shes fine.

14/03/19 20:00:14

"We were caught playing football in the monastery, now weve been suspended."

19/02/19 20:00:06

09/02/19 20:00:23

08/02/19 8:00:24

I know you are busy but its just a quick survey.

11/01/19 8:04:45

His last wish was to put his face between two baps.

19/11/18 20:01:30

At least he died smiling! --Karyn Harrison

13/11/18 20:00:12

lol

"Sarah love, are you still in the toilet?"

31/10/18 13:52:43

LOL! That takes me back half a century to my teenage years, when my friends and I all had long hair, Christine Keeler-style, and a couple of half-pints would overset us. Holding a friend's hair back while she called for Ruth and Hughie was a co... --Molly R

"If I eat both it might make me Sikh."

14/10/18 17:40:24

The Proclaimers announce their long lost brother is growing on them.

12/09/18 20:01:18

27/08/18 20:00:38

For Gods sake Fred Ive been looking all over for that Multi LED Torch!!

19/08/18 8:00:33

29/01/18 20:00:55

25/01/18 8:03:00

creative

17/01/18 20:05:00

08/12/17 23:19:38

creative

28/11/17 20:21:16

How did the game at the countdown fancy dress party go Rachel?...rubbish, first game there was 2 arrs and seven cs

11/07/17 15:57:58

13/06/17 8:37:48

11/05/17 8:34:22

Sure, she's adorable now, but by the end of GøT she'll be an evil bitch.

15/05/19 15:41:13

“Right. Bob and Dave will dress up as two tigers, Phil and Jim will be a pair of gorillas, and so on. Don't cock this up, lads, it's our last shot to get on that ark.”

14/05/19 15:24:35

I've never much cared for those quirky personalised Christmas cards.

03/05/19 20:00:30

I never Sausage a barmy idea.

02/05/19 15:58:03

“Just wait 'til they see you…. Who's the ugly duckling now?

25/04/19 20:00:37

29/03/19 13:49:47

“Take me home, Nigel, I don't think I'll be needing you in the bedroom any more.”

18/03/19 20:01:57

Flies and Dolls

25/02/19 20:00:08

18/02/19 20:01:45

"So Darling, I had my piano upgraded. Do you like the pop-up scenery?" "Its nice Dear, but installing the slide was a stroke of genius."

07/02/19 15:10:50

The Wig Bang Theory

06/02/19 22:53:11

02/02/19 8:00:38

"Ive starred in some weird pornos in my time but this..."

31/01/19 17:58:39

Man's best Fred

20/01/19 18:03:32

World War Two Fighter Pilates

20/01/19 8:24:37

It seemed whenever I came home straight from work I was always early, but coming from the pub I was always late. Then I finally clocked my problem.

04/01/19 8:00:58

24/12/18 9:28:49

"I don't know what she sees in him."
"I hear he's hung like a horse."

16/12/18 17:31:17

06/12/18 20:04:51

31/10/18 20:01:11

14/10/18 20:01:51

“You said ...’write something punchy’ ...”

27/09/18 8:00:22

A brilliant new initiative has reduced incidents of dogging by 63%

21/09/18 8:01:39

27/07/18 20:03:36

"Where's MY billowing red skirt?"

05/06/18 20:03:09

Ha! ...Clever. --J Gaskill

07/02/18 20:21:41

Tickle Me Alma

01/02/18 15:44:22

26/01/18 8:00:30

26/11/17 17:37:03

"Thanks, but dont bother in the future. I hate Milk Tray."

17/11/17 20:01:07

In American zoos, pussy-licking is considered obscene.

01/11/17 20:06:11

Who's up foursome dogging?

20/09/17 20:01:03

The Great Irish Bake Off

15/08/17 8:18:41

The buildings new, state of the art sprinkler system is the dogs bollocks.

07/08/17 8:21:04

02/08/17 8:03:01

Dementors during Azkaban's renovation --sandeep chahal

Beauty and the Beached

30/07/17 8:01:33

28/07/17 8:04:05

27/07/17 20:05:37

10/07/17 14:59:50

Did your cat come off second best in that face-off with the black Subaru? Well it doesnt have to mean goodbye. Just send your cats remains to us here at Cat Converters and well turn them into this handy Bathroom Buddy..Lift the left leg to dispen

23/06/17 4:50:58

31/05/17 20:56:43

04/05/17 8:38:17

"Bloody predictive text, it wasnt a fun run, it was a funeral."

12/04/17 23:36:08

This club has a band width problem.

29/05/19 20:01:29

“Well of course they're just dolls! I'd have to be a nutter to expose a real child to the dangers of secondhand smoke.”

20/05/19 7:18:54

Tippi Hedren's little-known sequel to Hitchcock's 'The Birds' was a bloody horrific failure.

18/05/19 18:47:35

clever

THAT was their best idea?!

03/05/19 20:00:09

“… And no blowing either”

02/05/19 20:00:06

Keeper of the Pervy Seal

01/05/19 8:00:09

“Holly ripped her bodice from her ample bosom and handed it to the rock-hard snowman, eager for his touch…”

Snowmance novel

26/04/19 20:00:23

Junkie business

19/04/19 20:00:19

The older I get, the harder it is playing caption.me on my phone.

15/04/19 20:00:14

Putting my best fruit forward

14/04/19 20:00:14

Three things that are full of horse sh*t

10/04/19 20:00:10

A journey of a thousand miles begins with single... er, never mind, let's just see if they can make it back to the car.

26/03/19 20:00:21

20/03/19 20:00:45

07/03/19 20:00:08

26/02/19 14:54:07

25/02/19 20:00:25

Oliver was shot in Afghanistan and shelled in Iraq. He could carry you and fifty kilos of gear across the desert. Two Crosses and a George Medal, but his dream is to be the subject of one-liners on caption.me.

19/02/19 15:25:24

“Save Ferris!”

14/02/19 8:29:07

All bronze and no brain

02/02/19 20:02:46

Look behind you! It's Bath Vader!

02/02/19 8:00:13

Where there's joke, there's fire.

26/01/19 20:00:17

The Wolf Who Tried Boy

20/01/19 17:55:21

Sometimes a bride can get a little beachy.

19/01/19 8:27:05

“I've had it, I'm done! I bring you seeds, I bring you worms, but you always want more. You know, love is a two-way street, Claire.”

16/01/19 8:00:49

Guy kisses mask, and later, Guy Fawkes mask.

15/01/19 20:00:09

Kaleid-o-skip

14/01/19 20:01:00

“This backstop border is just too bloody confusing.”

14/01/19 8:00:11

“This time I'm finally gonna catch that mail van....”

13/01/19 20:00:55

Peck of the litter

01/01/19 20:21:51

Blah, blah, Gulliver.

05/12/18 20:02:15

"When God closes a door, he opens a- WHAT THE HELL'S THAT?"

26/11/18 8:04:21

AAAAAAHHH!!! --Scrappy Doo

more captions

last comments (total: 58)

Nods to the other monkey puns

(caption author)

19/02/19
8:08pm

comment on caption:
We're going to need a LOT more of them and an infinite number of typewriters. [Crunchy Chords]

May the farce be with you.

stone face

18/03/19
8:41pm

comment on caption:

Finally there was peace in the galaxy,
and Luke could retire with his Twi'lek sweetheart. [Crunchy Chords]

Nod to 12:29:30 and other forced perspective fun.

(caption author)

28/03/19
2:05pm

comment on caption:
Simon's "fascinators for men" idea was a tremendous failure. [Crunchy Chords]

This is absolutely no offence to the cap and is pure ignorance on my behalf, but just so I know, who is Chris Hemsworth?

The Wolf

17/04/19
10:43pm

comment on caption:
Chris Hemsworth had finally
found his second career. [Crunchy Chords]

He's an Australian actor, who like all Australians suffers from an uncontrollable desire to violently destroy anything culturally sophisticated. Oh, and he plays Thor.