clever

"Only 246 sleeps until we're relevant again honey."

27/04/19 4:36:40

Poultry in motion.

02/01/17 20:29:37

This bike is a real chick magnet.

02/01/17 20:28:23

Dorygami.

03/01/17 23:50:21

Victors Secret

04/05/19 2:42:49

Cutting room floor.

14/04/19 20:30:09

You gotta train them early...

25/03/17 17:06:22

It's not easy to quit while you're ahead.

28/01/17 20:35:34

He is risen!

09/04/19 1:09:48

You wanna pizza me?!

16/07/19 5:30:21

Yes, we catch your drift.

30/04/19 20:21:45

There have been frostier receptions, but not many.

27/04/19 4:28:27

Minor problems.

20/03/19 21:29:54

"That'll do pig. That'll do."

16/03/19 22:53:39

Come-As-Your-Favorite-Band night can now commence!

06/03/19 0:18:12

Suspect appears cagey...

05/02/17 18:20:21

Getting your dog stoned is bad, m'kay?

01/02/17 1:19:32

Dave's third wish did not go as planned.

22/01/17 22:03:53

These make my feet qwert.

14/01/17 19:43:37

Look at me. Look at me...

I am the captain now.

12/07/19 5:01:19

Well it was good enough for the gander!

25/04/19 23:21:19

Cowabanga!

06/04/19 2:24:38

"I'd like to make a deposit."

02/04/19 4:55:30

"I find your lack of kale disturbing."

23/03/19 19:56:53

I can see my house from here!

23/03/19 19:54:17

When your fetishes align...

03/03/19 20:49:28

"Okay, try it meow."

28/01/19 0:55:39

"No, X does not represent 'the spot' Phil."

27/01/19 0:52:19

It tastes good, but the gilt afterwards...

11/04/17 3:36:33

Ooh a penny!

21/03/17 21:04:21

Dyslexics Untie!

12/02/17 1:15:52

"First name?"
"Harry."
"Last name?"
"Houdini."
...
"Shit."

05/02/17 18:23:15

Oh my dear Lard.

27/01/17 15:22:13

That's the last time we buy a tank at IKEA.

24/01/17 17:43:10

You looked...

Thu 15:10:58

He's taking this right to bear arms thing a bit far don't you think?

Thu 5:45:48

We are not emused!

Thu 5:44:33

Some guys just give their girlfriends crabs...

31/07/19 2:06:14

How long is your wiener?

23/07/19 23:13:13

What a twain wreck.

06/07/19 22:09:15

With his new racing stripes he was sure to be the hungriest hippo now...

04/07/19 14:37:10

They're fairly good cops.

01/07/19 21:59:39

On second thought, double sided tape might not have been the best idea.

24/06/19 4:11:47

Putin on the glitz.

22/06/19 16:14:30

[In Case Of Emergency Break Glass]

17/06/19 4:40:14

Bride of Faraday.

20/05/19 22:22:27

Dammit Clark! We've talked about this!

08/05/19 0:25:53

The oracle of Selphi foresaw this...

07/05/19 15:28:59

The management would like me to inform you that our all-you-can-eat pasta special does not include the stuffing of shoulder pads and this will be the last course madame...

06/05/19 19:27:47

Excuse me sir, do you have time to talk about our lord a savior Yogi?

29/04/19 15:36:17

Lip Servest.

24/04/19 4:12:07

Has science gone too far?

24/04/19 4:10:23

I've never been so board in my life.

21/04/19 17:17:33

Smoke no evil gets no credit.

20/04/19 1:46:25

Thanks for the mammaries...

18/04/19 4:28:25

Guy Fieri's high school days were rough.

06/04/19 2:20:12

Ewe are the wind beneath my wings.

25/03/19 22:05:12

"Operation Bleat Fleet commence!"
Muhauhauha... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

25/03/19 22:04:20

23-19!
23-19!

23/03/19 20:00:39

Cut!

Print!

21/03/19 4:36:13

"Sure he's a bit noisy up there, but HBO comes in clear as a bell now."

03/03/19 20:47:20

"Cancer. What's your sign?"

03/03/19 20:40:02

Tailor maid.

03/03/19 20:39:22

Are you feeling thorny baby?

18/02/19 21:23:50

Free Pearl necklace with the purchase of each Magnolia...

04/05/17 20:03:42

whoa...
I just had the most intense Q-bert flashback ever dude.

24/03/17 22:55:18

Unbeweavable.

21/03/17 21:09:14

Gimli: "That still only counts as one!"


you read that in his voice didn't you?

16/03/17 1:09:51

So, the pothole you 'can' hit...

14/03/17 4:31:54

Welease the Quackin!

02/03/17 22:26:51

Meanwhile... back at Spiderman headquarters...

21/02/17 4:20:29

She looks a bit flushed.

19/02/17 17:55:02

If you like it then you shoulda put a ringer on it.

19/02/17 17:54:24

The Michelin Man's origins were shrouded in mystery...

...and probably should have stayed that way.

17/02/17 20:40:09

"Can you hair me now? Good."

17/02/17 6:22:46

His shadow looks like a preying mantis... just sayin.

13/02/17 17:40:06

"I must go, my people need me."

12/02/17 1:17:29

Pretty fly... for a white guy's lawn.

08/02/17 17:54:39

This emuses me.

05/02/17 20:02:54

Prolly wants a cracker.

05/02/17 18:19:34

So... it's a French road?

05/02/17 5:50:10

Found Waldo!

04/02/17 1:23:32

Yes we had street corner telephone booths... and we liked it!

02/02/17 4:08:35

A bird in the bush is worth two on the bench.

01/02/17 3:55:02

After harpooning the whale Alfred had no choice but to follow through on the kill.

01/02/17 1:21:33

See... this is why we don't drink the cool-aid.

31/01/17 1:20:34

Now go forth my minions of minimum destruction!

Muhahahahaha...

29/01/17 18:48:53

...under my gunbrella. (Ella ella eh eh eh)

29/01/17 18:42:50

Allow me to explain using interpretive dance.

29/01/17 18:30:33

The Lost Neck Monster.

28/01/17 0:52:57

I said pull my finger right now young man!

24/01/17 17:39:55

Ocular migraine.

23/01/17 1:23:49

It's not easy being green.

18/01/17 0:16:03

It's all about accessorising.

18/01/17 0:14:34

Well... where did you think little Tardis's came from?

18/01/17 0:05:51

All in all it's just another lick in the wall.

17/01/17 23:59:17

How can ewe not be lichen this?

17/01/17 23:45:36

Leaf it to Beaver.

16/01/17 3:50:13

Children of the porn.

16/01/17 3:49:45

You're probably wondering why I called you all here today...

16/01/17 3:49:11

Leave it to cleavage.

14/01/17 19:45:24

Meanwhile... back at Guantanamo.

14/01/17 19:42:44

Cailllou had not handled childhood fame well.

13/01/17 15:06:55

Pepperidge farms remembers.

13/01/17 4:48:30

SCIATICA!!!

08/01/17 20:49:09

How very French.

08/01/17 20:47:47

Mamma always said, stupid is as stupid does.

08/01/17 20:46:37

Hello... kitty?

06/01/17 1:37:47

In Soviet Russia, book writes you.

04/01/17 19:44:41

So buff even his pits are chiselled.

04/01/17 18:38:18

"I'm doing my part!"

04/01/17 18:30:02

There's really no wrong way to use a Margarita tub...

01/01/17 19:43:02

Mr. Tumnus has let himself go.

30/12/16 5:56:53

Tastes like fish? wtf?

Wed 0:33:55

Nordic hot-tub preparation 101.

Mon 4:49:13

"So I says to him, I says, that's not humerus..."

06/08/19 19:05:07

I dig this.

06/08/19 19:04:11

Well that came out of the blue...

06/08/19 19:03:19

You take that thing back to Area 51 where you found it right now!

31/07/19 2:26:14

Feed me Seymour! Feed me!

31/07/19 2:24:53

The house of the Risen sun.

31/07/19 2:23:31

Roe roe roe your car gently down the street...
Buttery buttery buttery buttery sweet and tasty meat!

31/07/19 2:18:57

Assassins Handbook Chapter 3:

~Using misdirection rather than inconspicuousness to transport the body~

31/07/19 2:15:58

That squealing sound is just the brakes...

31/07/19 2:07:00

Quit trying to make Bill On Your Sill happen. It's never going to happen.

28/07/19 15:43:21

Binding Nemo.

27/07/19 17:45:42

Crack. Not even once.

26/07/19 3:00:58

"It's, Headless Horse-Ma'am!"

"It's Horse-Ma'am!"

24/07/19 23:50:54

The other, Other, Boleyn sister.

24/07/19 23:47:00

The challenge of the Idiotorod dog team competition isn't for everyone.

24/07/19 15:31:12

Colour-blind Smurf costume: $19.99

24/07/19 15:28:41

It's a decoy...

23/07/19 23:12:28

Byongjamin Buttan

23/07/19 23:11:54

We are here to consume mass quantities...

22/07/19 5:42:32

The Transformer/ Mad Max cross over looks pretty low budget.

21/07/19 15:52:47

Until we can verify your citizenship you will remain in the compound.

21/07/19 15:51:14

The only balls I have left to play with anymore...

18/07/19 4:14:53

If you rearrange the letters it spells STOOP HATE.

just sayin

18/07/19 4:14:27

Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

18/07/19 4:10:59

They're bluetooth of course.

16/07/19 15:26:35

That's one hell of a ride.

16/07/19 15:25:27

Sssssssmokin!

16/07/19 15:23:37

"No! You're fecking Ursine!"

15/07/19 5:18:13

"You've got 17.5% in T-bills amortized over the fiscal year, 8% in stocks and bonds. Carry the 9, divide by the Gross National Product... fortunately, funeral bouquets are deductible."

15/07/19 5:17:15

Dance by Snu Snu!

15/07/19 5:09:00

Sadly, hover-shoe technology was lost in the great depression.

15/07/19 5:07:06

Howl you get along without a nose Karen? Did you think of that? No. You only think about yourself Karen.

15/07/19 5:03:24

A whole new woooooooorld.

15/07/19 5:02:01

She called me a noble steed...

15/07/19 5:00:23

FOR VALHALLA!!!

15/07/19 5:00:00

Tug boat!

12/07/19 5:02:34

Piss on it.

08/07/19 5:06:38

Needs more cowbell.

08/07/19 5:05:47

High five, apply directly to the forehead...

08/07/19 5:02:27

Never give up...

07/07/19 4:33:28

Takes a lickin, keeps on tickin.

05/07/19 20:03:59

Two thousand perforations let the flavor flow out...

02/07/19 22:31:37

Corrugated?... are you sure?

01/07/19 5:40:52

Built like a brick shit house takes on a whole new meaning.

30/06/19 17:01:54

You know your board when...

25/06/19 3:13:27

That'll do Donkey. That'll do.

22/06/19 21:18:19

Butt I digress...

20/06/19 0:49:34

Web browsers theses days... oy.

20/06/19 0:48:37

Fixadent and forget it.

20/06/19 0:47:12

"Where we're going Marty, we don't need sidewalks."

20/06/19 0:10:52

Thay it with a thong.

19/06/19 4:12:45

Famous last photos...

18/06/19 4:54:13

It's an old-die but a good-die.

15/06/19 21:32:46

Did you just assume my gender?

15/06/19 21:29:07

The humidititty was low that day my friends.

04/06/19 1:52:59

Game Of Thrones sequels are coming...

31/05/19 2:20:20

Downsizing 2: The Yolkening

28/05/19 15:00:36

Your video will start in...

25/05/19 17:20:50

It behooves me, that's why.

22/05/19 5:01:36

Can I be Frank?

20/05/19 22:23:45

"It has a slimming effect... look it up!"

20/05/19 22:21:45

This makes no cents.

12/05/19 20:12:15

Piercing the veil.

12/05/19 16:43:54

It's like he can look straight into your sole...

12/05/19 16:43:04

Still a Tide commercial...

08/05/19 23:27:12

Geriatric Park: Fallen Kantgetupagain

07/05/19 15:32:52

...and that's why I suffer from Eyerachnophobia.

06/05/19 3:19:47

With great Batbeard comes great responsibility.

02/05/19 4:03:04

Mad Max... Flurry Road.

30/04/19 20:22:13

Dammit Miss Frizzle!

28/04/19 5:20:58

Red-Rover! Red-Rover!

We call Granny over!

28/04/19 5:19:30

The anally retentive amongst us will be pleased to note that this vest is fully reversible.

24/04/19 4:14:21

Drive no evil.

22/04/19 22:28:26

"What year is it?!"

22/04/19 22:26:56

The carrot is the stick futher mocker!

21/04/19 6:19:57

Skippy?!

21/04/19 6:18:21

Victoria's Secrete.

20/04/19 1:47:34

In-crease rotational figure seven times.

18/04/19 4:31:25

"For Asgard!"

18/04/19 4:25:18

Well that's just grout.

14/04/19 20:29:10

Still a tide commercial...

13/04/19 17:17:20

Buns of steal... no really... I stole this.

09/04/19 1:10:47

Gluten for punishment.

09/04/19 1:07:25

Everything's gonna be all white...

06/04/19 4:55:23

Get ready to steer.

06/04/19 2:25:53