Board with your normal cereal?

17/08/19 19:20:24

clever

"Only 246 sleeps until we're relevant again honey."

27/04/19 3:36:40

Poultry in motion.

02/01/17 20:29:37

Looking for organ donor.

27/09/19 14:28:48

I will never understand bowling.

17/08/19 19:19:36

This bike is a real chick magnet.

02/01/17 20:28:23

Hey, he's God okay... he can look any way he wants.

23/10/19 19:22:13

He looks like he's at the end of his rope!

14/09/19 20:52:19

Dorygami.

03/01/17 23:50:21

Trainsquatting.

01/12/19 2:11:41

Row row row your boar,
gently down the stream...

Murkily murkily murkily murkily,
life is but a meme.

04/10/19 22:52:11

Lady Gaga?... is that you?

16/09/19 23:48:12

That takes guts.

17/08/19 14:35:01

Victors Secret

04/05/19 1:42:49

Cutting room floor.

14/04/19 19:30:09

You gotta train them early...

25/03/17 17:06:22

It's not easy to quit while you're ahead.

28/01/17 20:35:34

The flies are a nice touch. It's all about the accessorizing...

14/10/19 19:53:22

We get it. You vape.

13/09/19 0:16:16

He is risen!

09/04/19 0:09:48

On the next...

Reveal Your Calf Tattoo!

Wed 6:01:58

They can bearly contain their excrement!

06/10/19 20:36:23

Theeer's a seagull-on-the-head-of-a-man-on-a-horse-on-a-crypt-on-a-hill-in-a-town-on-the-back-of-a-turtle-on-a-frog-on-a-log-in-a-hole-in-the-middle-of-the-sea.............

26/08/19 2:55:59

Gay pride week wasn't at all like I expected.

17/08/19 18:34:18

You wanna pizza me?!

16/07/19 4:30:21

Yes, we catch your drift.

30/04/19 19:21:45

There have been frostier receptions, but not many.

27/04/19 3:28:27

Minor problems.

20/03/19 21:29:54

"That'll do pig. That'll do."

16/03/19 22:53:39

Come-As-Your-Favorite-Band night can now commence!

06/03/19 0:18:12

Suspect appears cagey...

05/02/17 18:20:21

Getting your dog stoned is bad, m'kay?

01/02/17 1:19:32

Dave's third wish did not go as planned.

22/01/17 22:03:53

These make my feet qwert.

14/01/17 19:43:37

He's gone postal!

15/01/20 17:50:45

Ooh ooh I know this one. Is it... Orlando Bloom?

14/01/20 1:25:12

The Right To Pear Arms.

14/01/20 0:43:31

...and on the ninth day God did all kinds of really weird shit just because it was now there to be done.

01/12/19 2:14:44

Horus is looking dapper these days.

11/10/19 16:44:55

~Charlotte's Web III~
...The Quickening...

04/10/19 23:13:18

...and this little piggy went, "WTF man?"

04/10/19 22:44:09

WILSON!!!

04/10/19 22:43:22

“Good evening," it loafed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body? It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.

22/09/19 22:52:47

A snake is going to pop out of there, I just know it.

21/09/19 14:35:45

TAILPIPES

from the

CRYPT

13/09/19 0:20:55

Quit trying to make Bunjeep jumping happen...

08/09/19 19:19:27

Telepaths will be drowned until morale improves. That is all.

07/09/19 5:31:46

"You're not on the fucking team Dad!"

30/08/19 19:40:38

"Same thing we do every day Pinky."

28/08/19 4:31:10

Theeey're Grrrate!

17/08/19 18:33:21

Look at me. Look at me...

I am the captain now.

12/07/19 4:01:19

Well it was good enough for the gander!

25/04/19 22:21:19

Cowabanga!

06/04/19 1:24:38

"I'd like to make a deposit."

02/04/19 3:55:30

"I find your lack of kale disturbing."

23/03/19 19:56:53

I can see my house from here!

23/03/19 19:54:17

When your fetishes align...

03/03/19 20:49:28

"Okay, try it meow."

28/01/19 0:55:39

"No, X does not represent 'the spot' Phil."

27/01/19 0:52:19

It tastes good, but the gilt afterwards...

11/04/17 2:36:33

Ooh a penny!

21/03/17 21:04:21

Dyslexics Untie!

12/02/17 1:15:52

"First name?"
"Harry."
"Last name?"
"Houdini."
...
"Shit."

05/02/17 18:23:15

Oh my dear Lard.

27/01/17 15:22:13

That's the last time we buy a tank at IKEA.

24/01/17 17:43:10

A bird in, the bush is worth three in the hand?...

14/01/20 1:24:02

Do you want Ents? Because that's how you get Ents.

14/01/20 1:22:11

What exactly did you tell Bobby about the birds and the bees anyway?

14/01/20 1:21:00

Now That's a green thumb...

14/01/20 1:17:50

What?! You said you wanted to be branch manager...

14/01/20 0:44:47

"Feed me Seymour!"

15/12/19 21:25:31

Gnomencluckture.

25/10/19 4:31:32

No you can't drive my car just because you shit all over yours!

24/10/19 23:23:59

It started as a wart on my shoulder...

24/10/19 14:40:31

Indiana Jones and the Riders of the Fallen Arch.

23/10/19 19:33:54

Pull over!

23/10/19 19:21:34

Fairdrinkum.

22/10/19 23:17:46

The advent of psycowtropics.

18/10/19 4:32:28

Hmmm, Retread sole... Diamond studded ankle strap...

I figure Kardashian.

18/10/19 4:24:58

Franks' Hairticulture course was going well.

14/10/19 19:56:22

Someday everyone will want a Growhawk of their own.

14/10/19 19:54:45

Powdered... Toast... Maaaaaan!

14/10/19 7:12:47

We thneed this.

14/10/19 0:14:46

Tobac hoe

11/10/19 16:40:55

If I could just not be placed in compromising positions with that shelf elf that'd be great m'kay...

09/10/19 3:52:46

Master has turned Dobby into sock puppets. Dobby's are free!!!

09/10/19 3:51:36

Get twerk!

06/10/19 20:36:56

Why that's a tea-pee of course.

05/10/19 15:37:49

A Trump flush... EUCHRE!

04/10/19 4:46:34

Never look the gift whores in the mouth.

03/10/19 13:43:24

Relax, don't do it.

29/09/19 14:37:35

Stephanie from Lazytown has fallen on hard times.

29/09/19 14:35:31

He touched my balls... I had no other choice.

23/09/19 13:48:33

I love McDonalds too!...

18/09/19 4:52:27

"We're gonna need a bigger rope."

14/09/19 20:54:04

Methead acting.

09/09/19 4:56:29

Why, that's only second degree murder...

07/09/19 5:28:32

You looked...

15/08/19 14:10:58

He's taking this right to bear arms thing a bit far don't you think?

15/08/19 4:45:48

We are not emused!

15/08/19 4:44:33

Some guys just give their girlfriends crabs...

31/07/19 1:06:14

How long is your wiener?

23/07/19 22:13:13

What a twain wreck.

06/07/19 21:09:15

With his new racing stripes he was sure to be the hungriest hippo now...

04/07/19 13:37:10

They're fairly good cops.

01/07/19 20:59:39

On second thought, double sided tape might not have been the best idea.

24/06/19 3:11:47

Putin on the glitz.

22/06/19 15:14:30

[In Case Of Emergency Break Glass]

17/06/19 3:40:14

Bride of Faraday.

20/05/19 21:22:27

Dammit Clark! We've talked about this!

07/05/19 23:25:53

The oracle of Selphi foresaw this...

07/05/19 14:28:59

The management would like me to inform you that our all-you-can-eat pasta special does not include the stuffing of shoulder pads and this will be the last course madame...

06/05/19 18:27:47

Excuse me sir, do you have time to talk about our lord a savior Yogi?

29/04/19 14:36:17

Lip Servest.

24/04/19 3:12:07

Has science gone too far?

24/04/19 3:10:23

I've never been so board in my life.

21/04/19 16:17:33

Smoke no evil gets no credit.

20/04/19 0:46:25

Thanks for the mammaries...

18/04/19 3:28:25

Guy Fieri's high school days were rough.

06/04/19 1:20:12

Ewe are the wind beneath my wings.

25/03/19 22:05:12

"Operation Bleat Fleet commence!"
Muhauhauha... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

25/03/19 22:04:20

23-19!
23-19!

23/03/19 20:00:39

Cut!

Print!

21/03/19 4:36:13

"Sure he's a bit noisy up there, but HBO comes in clear as a bell now."

03/03/19 20:47:20

"Cancer. What's your sign?"

03/03/19 20:40:02

Tailor maid.

03/03/19 20:39:22

Are you feeling thorny baby?

18/02/19 21:23:50

Free Pearl necklace with the purchase of each Magnolia...

04/05/17 19:03:42

whoa...
I just had the most intense Q-bert flashback ever dude.

24/03/17 22:55:18

Unbeweavable.

21/03/17 21:09:14

Gimli: "That still only counts as one!"


you read that in his voice didn't you?

16/03/17 1:09:51

So, the pothole you 'can' hit...

14/03/17 4:31:54

Welease the Quackin!

02/03/17 22:26:51

Meanwhile... back at Spiderman headquarters...

21/02/17 4:20:29

She looks a bit flushed.

19/02/17 17:55:02

If you like it then you shoulda put a ringer on it.

19/02/17 17:54:24

The Michelin Man's origins were shrouded in mystery...

...and probably should have stayed that way.

17/02/17 20:40:09

"Can you hair me now? Good."

17/02/17 6:22:46

His shadow looks like a preying mantis... just sayin.

13/02/17 17:40:06

"I must go, my people need me."

12/02/17 1:17:29

Pretty fly... for a white guy's lawn.

08/02/17 17:54:39

This emuses me.

05/02/17 20:02:54

Prolly wants a cracker.

05/02/17 18:19:34

So... it's a French road?

05/02/17 5:50:10

Found Waldo!

04/02/17 1:23:32

Yes we had street corner telephone booths... and we liked it!

02/02/17 4:08:35

A bird in the bush is worth two on the bench.

01/02/17 3:55:02

After harpooning the whale Alfred had no choice but to follow through on the kill.

01/02/17 1:21:33

See... this is why we don't drink the cool-aid.

31/01/17 1:20:34

Now go forth my minions of minimum destruction!

Muhahahahaha...

29/01/17 18:48:53

...under my gunbrella. (Ella ella eh eh eh)

29/01/17 18:42:50

Allow me to explain using interpretive dance.

29/01/17 18:30:33

The Lost Neck Monster.

28/01/17 0:52:57

I said pull my finger right now young man!

24/01/17 17:39:55

Ocular migraine.

23/01/17 1:23:49

It's not easy being green.

18/01/17 0:16:03

It's all about accessorising.

18/01/17 0:14:34

Well... where did you think little Tardis's came from?

18/01/17 0:05:51

All in all it's just another lick in the wall.

17/01/17 23:59:17

How can ewe not be lichen this?

17/01/17 23:45:36

Leaf it to Beaver.

16/01/17 3:50:13

Children of the porn.

16/01/17 3:49:45

You're probably wondering why I called you all here today...

16/01/17 3:49:11

Leave it to cleavage.

14/01/17 19:45:24

Meanwhile... back at Guantanamo.

14/01/17 19:42:44

Cailllou had not handled childhood fame well.

13/01/17 15:06:55

Pepperidge farms remembers.

13/01/17 4:48:30

SCIATICA!!!

08/01/17 20:49:09

How very French.

08/01/17 20:47:47

Mamma always said, stupid is as stupid does.

08/01/17 20:46:37

Hello... kitty?

06/01/17 1:37:47

In Soviet Russia, book writes you.

04/01/17 19:44:41

So buff even his pits are chiselled.

04/01/17 18:38:18

"I'm doing my part!"

04/01/17 18:30:02

There's really no wrong way to use a Margarita tub...

01/01/17 19:43:02

Mr. Tumnus has let himself go.

30/12/16 5:56:53

Because... y not 25?

Wed 6:04:11

That's not what I meant when I asked you to sit on her face...

Wed 6:03:06

This took balls.

Wed 5:59:48

I just had Thai food last night...

Mon 2:28:41

Delivery for H. Lector.

Mon 2:28:09

The delicious Long Pork...

Mon 2:25:44

She's a dick tater...

Sun 19:40:47

Ewe did nazi that coming.

Sun 19:38:50

"I never thought I'd heart myself say this, but could you just stop blowing me for while?"

16/01/20 16:45:57

Cereal killer strikes again.

20/12/19 1:06:14

It's bite is worse than it's bark...

15/12/19 21:24:23

Quit trying to make tree-twister happen. It's never going to happen.

15/12/19 21:23:48

I swear Frank, it's like you're not even trying to hide the bodies anymore.

Get it together man.

15/12/19 21:22:38

We can't stop here, this is bat country.

13/12/19 0:23:26

This isn't funny Sharon. You got two seconds to get me out of this thing or so help me I'll shit in your mouth when your sleeping again!

13/12/19 0:22:09

Children of the Shorn.

11/12/19 6:03:43

The Eye Lens of the Lambs.

11/12/19 6:02:57

Smellatubbies!

11/12/19 5:23:46

Pink row is contaminated!

06/12/19 5:14:40

That's not how you make pizza...

06/12/19 5:12:07

Let's just say the chicken didn't cross the road for the reason you think and leave it at that okay?

03/12/19 6:03:48

Oh My God! How old is this image now?

03/12/19 5:59:17

Ice cream scoops are dangerous, m'kay...

01/12/19 22:59:58

"We all text down here Richie."

01/12/19 2:10:52