£50
WINNER

lol x3

26/01/20 21:58:13

Board with your normal cereal?

17/08/19 20:20:24

clever

"Only 246 sleeps until we're relevant again honey."

27/04/19 4:36:40

Poultry in motion.

02/01/17 20:29:37

Looking for organ donor.

27/09/19 15:28:48

I will never understand bowling.

17/08/19 20:19:36

Successfully smuggling cucumbers since 1953.

15/03/20 16:06:31

This bike is a real chick magnet.

02/01/17 20:28:23

Hey, he's God okay... he can look any way he wants.

23/10/19 20:22:13

He looks like he's at the end of his rope!

14/09/19 21:52:19

Dorygami.

03/01/17 23:50:21

No! I'm Farticus!

14/03/20 23:31:47

Trainsquatting.

01/12/19 2:11:41

Row row row your boar,
gently down the stream...

Murkily murkily murkily murkily,
life is but a meme.

04/10/19 23:52:11

Lady Gaga?... is that you?

17/09/19 0:48:12

That takes guts.

17/08/19 15:35:01

Victors Secret

04/05/19 2:42:49

Cutting room floor.

14/04/19 20:30:09

You gotta train them early...

25/03/17 17:06:22

It's not easy to quit while you're ahead.

28/01/17 20:35:34

The origin story of Mustard-Man left a little to be desired...

Thu 15:25:10

The flies are a nice touch. It's all about the accessorizing...

14/10/19 20:53:22

We get it. You vape.

13/09/19 1:16:16

He is risen!

09/04/19 1:09:48

Jim Carry... the early years.

Thu 1:32:28

It's French. You wouldn't understand.

22/02/20 20:06:53

Steven Seagal's roll choices have really gone downhill.

22/02/20 20:03:31

The dead abide.

04/02/20 20:00:44

Maybe he's born with it... maybe its Neighbelline.

01/02/20 16:44:47

On the next...

Reveal Your Calf Tattoo!

22/01/20 6:01:58

They can bearly contain their excrement!

06/10/19 21:36:23

Theeer's a seagull-on-the-head-of-a-man-on-a-horse-on-a-crypt-on-a-hill-in-a-town-on-the-back-of-a-turtle-on-a-frog-on-a-log-in-a-hole-in-the-middle-of-the-sea.............

26/08/19 3:55:59

Gay pride week wasn't at all like I expected.

17/08/19 19:34:18

You wanna pizza me?!

16/07/19 5:30:21

Yes, we catch your drift.

30/04/19 20:21:45

There have been frostier receptions, but not many.

27/04/19 4:28:27

Minor problems.

20/03/19 21:29:54

"That'll do pig. That'll do."

16/03/19 22:53:39

Come-As-Your-Favorite-Band night can now commence!

06/03/19 0:18:12

Suspect appears cagey...

05/02/17 18:20:21

Getting your dog stoned is bad, m'kay?

01/02/17 1:19:32

Dave's third wish did not go as planned.

22/01/17 22:03:53

These make my feet qwert.

14/01/17 19:43:37

Just a little off the top.

Sun 17:19:42

Andy Oakley.

31/03/20 23:36:54

In hindsight installing the one way mirrored windows backwards was a bad idea...

19/02/20 21:21:19

"If we get out of this I'm going to fin-slap the shit out of you Carl."

14/02/20 1:52:56

Triggered.

01/02/20 16:41:50

He's gone postal!

15/01/20 17:50:45

Ooh ooh I know this one. Is it... Orlando Bloom?

14/01/20 1:25:12

The Right To Pear Arms.

14/01/20 0:43:31

...and on the ninth day God did all kinds of really weird shit just because it was now there to be done.

01/12/19 2:14:44

Horus is looking dapper these days.

11/10/19 17:44:55

~Charlotte's Web III~
...The Quickening...

05/10/19 0:13:18

...and this little piggy went, "WTF man?"

04/10/19 23:44:09

WILSON!!!

04/10/19 23:43:22

“Good evening," it loafed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body? It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.

22/09/19 23:52:47

A snake is going to pop out of there, I just know it.

21/09/19 15:35:45

TAILPIPES

from the

CRYPT

13/09/19 1:20:55

Quit trying to make Bunjeep jumping happen...

08/09/19 20:19:27

Telepaths will be drowned until morale improves. That is all.

07/09/19 6:31:46

"You're not on the fucking team Dad!"

30/08/19 20:40:38

"Same thing we do every day Pinky."

28/08/19 5:31:10

Theeey're Grrrate!

17/08/19 19:33:21

Look at me. Look at me...

I am the captain now.

12/07/19 5:01:19

Well it was good enough for the gander!

25/04/19 23:21:19

Cowabanga!

06/04/19 2:24:38

"I'd like to make a deposit."

02/04/19 4:55:30

"I find your lack of kale disturbing."

23/03/19 19:56:53

I can see my house from here!

23/03/19 19:54:17

When your fetishes align...

03/03/19 20:49:28

"Okay, try it meow."

28/01/19 0:55:39

"No, X does not represent 'the spot' Phil."

27/01/19 0:52:19

It tastes good, but the gilt afterwards...

11/04/17 3:36:33

Ooh a penny!

21/03/17 21:04:21

Dyslexics Untie!

12/02/17 1:15:52

"First name?"
"Harry."
"Last name?"
"Houdini."
...
"Shit."

05/02/17 18:23:15

Oh my dear Lard.

27/01/17 15:22:13

That's the last time we buy a tank at IKEA.

24/01/17 17:43:10

He didn't kill all of the younglings... he saved one for later.

Sun 17:25:22

This picture fills me with trepanation...

Sun 17:19:26

What a waste of toilet paper!

31/03/20 23:33:00

Well that’s just grout...

29/03/20 23:31:54

Maybe it’s Maybeline...

29/03/20 23:22:56

Cough no evil.
Touch no evil.
Wash the evil off your hands.

22/03/20 13:59:40

No I didn't help my daughter with her science fair project. Why would you think that?

15/03/20 16:05:03

These Tinder profiles are getting weirder and weirder.

22/02/20 20:05:33

...and that was the last time he ever bet his wife.

22/02/20 20:04:48

Everything's gonna be all white.

22/02/20 18:19:38

"No way!"

"Yahweh."

22/02/20 18:03:46

"Suicide hotline? Yes, I just, well... nothing really mattress anymore."

16/02/20 16:49:29

Antidisestablishmenthairianism.

Look it up!

04/02/20 5:30:10

Who you gonna call?

Fro Busters!

04/02/20 5:27:23

"Attention passengers, this is your Camelaptain speaking. Smoking is strictly prohibited on this flight and in the event of an emergency your seat is most likely not a flotation device."

04/02/20 5:19:44

TERMINATOR 12... This time it's Vegan.

02/02/20 3:43:14

A bird in, the bush is worth three in the hand?...

14/01/20 1:24:02

Do you want Ents? Because that's how you get Ents.

14/01/20 1:22:11

What exactly did you tell Bobby about the birds and the bees anyway?

14/01/20 1:21:00

Now That's a green thumb...

14/01/20 1:17:50

What?! You said you wanted to be branch manager...

14/01/20 0:44:47

"Feed me Seymour!"

15/12/19 21:25:31

Gnomencluckture.

25/10/19 5:31:32

No you can't drive my car just because you shit all over yours!

25/10/19 0:23:59

It started as a wart on my shoulder...

24/10/19 15:40:31

Indiana Jones and the Riders of the Fallen Arch.

23/10/19 20:33:54

Pull over!

23/10/19 20:21:34

Fairdrinkum.

23/10/19 0:17:46

The advent of psycowtropics.

18/10/19 5:32:28

Hmmm, Retread sole... Diamond studded ankle strap...

I figure Kardashian.

18/10/19 5:24:58

Franks' Hairticulture course was going well.

14/10/19 20:56:22

Someday everyone will want a Growhawk of their own.

14/10/19 20:54:45

Powdered... Toast... Maaaaaan!

14/10/19 8:12:47

We thneed this.

14/10/19 1:14:46

Tobac hoe

11/10/19 17:40:55

If I could just not be placed in compromising positions with that shelf elf that'd be great m'kay...

09/10/19 4:52:46

Master has turned Dobby into sock puppets. Dobby's are free!!!

09/10/19 4:51:36

Get twerk!

06/10/19 21:36:56

Why that's a tea-pee of course.

05/10/19 16:37:49

A Trump flush... EUCHRE!

04/10/19 5:46:34

Never look the gift whores in the mouth.

03/10/19 14:43:24

Relax, don't do it.

29/09/19 15:37:35

Stephanie from Lazytown has fallen on hard times.

29/09/19 15:35:31

He touched my balls... I had no other choice.

23/09/19 14:48:33

I love McDonalds too!...

18/09/19 5:52:27

"We're gonna need a bigger rope."

14/09/19 21:54:04

Methead acting.

09/09/19 5:56:29

Why, that's only second degree murder...

07/09/19 6:28:32

You looked...

15/08/19 15:10:58

He's taking this right to bear arms thing a bit far don't you think?

15/08/19 5:45:48

We are not emused!

15/08/19 5:44:33

Some guys just give their girlfriends crabs...

31/07/19 2:06:14

How long is your wiener?

23/07/19 23:13:13

What a twain wreck.

06/07/19 22:09:15

With his new racing stripes he was sure to be the hungriest hippo now...

04/07/19 14:37:10

They're fairly good cops.

01/07/19 21:59:39

On second thought, double sided tape might not have been the best idea.

24/06/19 4:11:47

Putin on the glitz.

22/06/19 16:14:30

[In Case Of Emergency Break Glass]

17/06/19 4:40:14

Bride of Faraday.

20/05/19 22:22:27

Dammit Clark! We've talked about this!

08/05/19 0:25:53

The oracle of Selphi foresaw this...

07/05/19 15:28:59

The management would like me to inform you that our all-you-can-eat pasta special does not include the stuffing of shoulder pads and this will be the last course madame...

06/05/19 19:27:47

Excuse me sir, do you have time to talk about our lord a savior Yogi?

29/04/19 15:36:17

Lip Servest.

24/04/19 4:12:07

Has science gone too far?

24/04/19 4:10:23

I've never been so board in my life.

21/04/19 17:17:33

Smoke no evil gets no credit.

20/04/19 1:46:25

Thanks for the mammaries...

18/04/19 4:28:25

Guy Fieri's high school days were rough.

06/04/19 2:20:12

Ewe are the wind beneath my wings.

25/03/19 22:05:12

"Operation Bleat Fleet commence!"
Muhauhauha... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

25/03/19 22:04:20

23-19!
23-19!

23/03/19 20:00:39

Cut!

Print!

21/03/19 4:36:13

"Sure he's a bit noisy up there, but HBO comes in clear as a bell now."

03/03/19 20:47:20

"Cancer. What's your sign?"

03/03/19 20:40:02

Tailor maid.

03/03/19 20:39:22

Are you feeling thorny baby?

18/02/19 21:23:50

Free Pearl necklace with the purchase of each Magnolia...

04/05/17 20:03:42

whoa...
I just had the most intense Q-bert flashback ever dude.

24/03/17 22:55:18

Unbeweavable.

21/03/17 21:09:14

Gimli: "That still only counts as one!"


you read that in his voice didn't you?

16/03/17 1:09:51

So, the pothole you 'can' hit...

14/03/17 4:31:54

Welease the Quackin!

02/03/17 22:26:51

Meanwhile... back at Spiderman headquarters...

21/02/17 4:20:29

She looks a bit flushed.

19/02/17 17:55:02

If you like it then you shoulda put a ringer on it.

19/02/17 17:54:24

The Michelin Man's origins were shrouded in mystery...

...and probably should have stayed that way.

17/02/17 20:40:09

"Can you hair me now? Good."

17/02/17 6:22:46

His shadow looks like a preying mantis... just sayin.

13/02/17 17:40:06

"I must go, my people need me."

12/02/17 1:17:29

Pretty fly... for a white guy's lawn.

08/02/17 17:54:39

This emuses me.

05/02/17 20:02:54

Prolly wants a cracker.

05/02/17 18:19:34

So... it's a French road?

05/02/17 5:50:10

Found Waldo!

04/02/17 1:23:32

Yes we had street corner telephone booths... and we liked it!

02/02/17 4:08:35

A bird in the bush is worth two on the bench.

01/02/17 3:55:02

After harpooning the whale Alfred had no choice but to follow through on the kill.

01/02/17 1:21:33

See... this is why we don't drink the cool-aid.

31/01/17 1:20:34

Now go forth my minions of minimum destruction!

Muhahahahaha...

29/01/17 18:48:53

...under my gunbrella. (Ella ella eh eh eh)

29/01/17 18:42:50

Allow me to explain using interpretive dance.

29/01/17 18:30:33

The Lost Neck Monster.

28/01/17 0:52:57

I said pull my finger right now young man!

24/01/17 17:39:55

Ocular migraine.

23/01/17 1:23:49

It's not easy being green.

18/01/17 0:16:03

It's all about accessorising.

18/01/17 0:14:34

Well... where did you think little Tardis's came from?

18/01/17 0:05:51

All in all it's just another lick in the wall.

17/01/17 23:59:17

How can ewe not be lichen this?

17/01/17 23:45:36

Leaf it to Beaver.

16/01/17 3:50:13

Children of the porn.

16/01/17 3:49:45

You're probably wondering why I called you all here today...

16/01/17 3:49:11

Leave it to cleavage.

14/01/17 19:45:24

Meanwhile... back at Guantanamo.

14/01/17 19:42:44

Cailllou had not handled childhood fame well.

13/01/17 15:06:55

Pepperidge farms remembers.

13/01/17 4:48:30

SCIATICA!!!

08/01/17 20:49:09

How very French.

08/01/17 20:47:47

Mamma always said, stupid is as stupid does.

08/01/17 20:46:37