£50
WINNER

lol x3

26/01/20 21:58:13

Board with your normal cereal?

17/08/19 20:20:24

clever

"Only 246 sleeps until we're relevant again honey."

27/04/19 4:36:40

Poultry in motion.

02/01/17 20:29:37

Looking for organ donor.

27/09/19 15:28:48

I will never understand bowling.

17/08/19 20:19:36

That's not whispering...

10/05/20 6:58:15

Successfully smuggling cucumbers since 1953.

15/03/20 16:06:31

This bike is a real chick magnet.

02/01/17 20:28:23

"Danmit Sarah! I put a lot of work into making your birthday breakfast special!"

10/09/20 1:04:09

Understanding Women: Volume 1

13/06/20 17:17:39

Hey, he's God okay... he can look any way he wants.

23/10/19 20:22:13

He looks like he's at the end of his rope!

14/09/19 21:52:19

Dorygami.

03/01/17 23:50:21

This is my tail. There are many like it, but this one's mine.

07/09/20 21:09:05

The greatest cross-over film of 2020;

~Honey, I Shrunk John Wick~

08/07/20 2:07:21

The bottle says SPF 3000.

07/04/20 15:31:26

No! I'm Farticus!

14/03/20 23:31:47

Trainsquatting.

01/12/19 2:11:41

Row row row your boar,
gently down the stream...

Murkily murkily murkily murkily,
life is but a meme.

04/10/19 23:52:11

Lady Gaga?... is that you?

17/09/19 0:48:12

That takes guts.

17/08/19 15:35:01

Victors Secret

04/05/19 2:42:49

Cutting room floor.

14/04/19 20:30:09

You gotta train them early...

25/03/17 17:06:22

It's not easy to quit while you're ahead.

28/01/17 20:35:34

This is no gouda.

12/09/20 16:27:10

Nobody cares where you hide anymore Waldo!

10/09/20 0:55:33

Bob Ross; the early years .

29/08/20 1:00:15

Maybe it's Nieghbelline.

26/08/20 15:32:12

What? They have a slimming effect...

18/08/20 1:56:05

Nine out of ten dentist prefer if you don't do this.

07/08/20 6:03:19

Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?

05/08/20 4:58:51

Sandy... is that you?

30/05/20 5:19:26

creative

Dat's... my... Speedo.

This is how we do it up on Pointo Peako.

I just wanna hear you screaming, "Why? you freak, oh!"

In this banana hammock that I call my Speedo!

¡esquiarlo!

26/04/20 2:33:36

The origin story of Mustard-Man left a little to be desired...

02/04/20 15:25:10

The flies are a nice touch. It's all about the accessorizing...

14/10/19 20:53:22

We get it. You vape.

13/09/19 1:16:16

He is risen!

09/04/19 1:09:48

"Someone's been sitting on my loo." said little bear... and the seat's still warm.

12/09/20 3:44:52

When the acid kicks in...

10/09/20 0:51:49

Meanwhile, inside Schrodinger's box...

08/09/20 15:33:16

I never said Sargent Simon Says...

30/08/20 23:40:09

Then there was that time I had to take my big sister to the prom.

30/08/20 23:34:03

Try the mushrooms they said, it will be fun they said...

27/08/20 1:28:39

mine...

12/08/20 5:12:28

Phil was completely unprepared for the rapture.

03/06/20 14:20:20

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

13/05/20 5:32:58

Jim Carry... the early years.

02/04/20 1:32:28

It's French. You wouldn't understand.

22/02/20 20:06:53

Steven Seagal's roll choices have really gone downhill.

22/02/20 20:03:31

The dead abide.

04/02/20 20:00:44

Maybe he's born with it... maybe its Neighbelline.

01/02/20 16:44:47

On the next...

Reveal Your Calf Tattoo!

22/01/20 6:01:58

They can bearly contain their excrement!

06/10/19 21:36:23

Theeer's a seagull-on-the-head-of-a-man-on-a-horse-on-a-crypt-on-a-hill-in-a-town-on-the-back-of-a-turtle-on-a-frog-on-a-log-in-a-hole-in-the-middle-of-the-sea.............

26/08/19 3:55:59

Gay pride week wasn't at all like I expected.

17/08/19 19:34:18

You wanna pizza me?!

16/07/19 5:30:21

Yes, we catch your drift.

30/04/19 20:21:45

There have been frostier receptions, but not many.

27/04/19 4:28:27

Minor problems.

20/03/19 21:29:54

"That'll do pig. That'll do."

16/03/19 22:53:39

Come-As-Your-Favorite-Band night can now commence!

06/03/19 0:18:12

Suspect appears cagey...

05/02/17 18:20:21

Getting your dog stoned is bad, m'kay?

01/02/17 1:19:32

Dave's third wish did not go as planned.

22/01/17 22:03:53

These make my feet qwert.

14/01/17 19:43:37

"We aren't in Kansas anymo... wait, wait yes we are."

Sat 23:52:44

I want to be able to read her shirt so much...

14/09/20 4:02:48

Se what happens when you go vegan??? See?!

13/09/20 2:06:58

Louis Pasteur: The early years.

10/09/20 0:57:50

"Dude, where's my car?"

08/09/20 20:51:05

Heff: The Pre-bathrobe years.

01/09/20 4:18:34

Weird Al has lost weight.

29/08/20 0:59:43

You can tell he really digs her.

30/07/20 20:30:52

Weddings/Exorcisms while you wait.

28/07/20 14:59:43

...so we put some hair around it and nobody has missed it since.

10/06/20 15:54:49

You will Roo the day!

06/06/20 15:42:57

There is a runaway trolley barreling down the railway tracks. Ahead, on the tracks, there are fifteen people tied up and unable to move. The trolley is headed straight for them. You are standing some distance off in the train yard, next to a lever. If you pull this lever, the trolley will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is one person on the side track. You have two options:

27/05/20 20:09:24

Where will you be when the Ex Lax kicks in?

26/05/20 15:25:44

Suddenly... pothole!

22/05/20 20:16:17

DUCK!

05/05/20 14:45:43

Sorry I burrowed your toothbrush.

10/04/20 5:36:55

I see the Canada geese are migrating...

07/04/20 15:27:47

Just a little off the top.

05/04/20 17:19:42

Andy Oakley.

31/03/20 23:36:54

In hindsight installing the one way mirrored windows backwards was a bad idea...

19/02/20 21:21:19

"If we get out of this I'm going to fin-slap the shit out of you Carl."

14/02/20 1:52:56

Triggered.

01/02/20 16:41:50

He's gone postal!

15/01/20 17:50:45

Ooh ooh I know this one. Is it... Orlando Bloom?

14/01/20 1:25:12

The Right To Pear Arms.

14/01/20 0:43:31

...and on the ninth day God did all kinds of really weird shit just because it was now there to be done.

01/12/19 2:14:44

Horus is looking dapper these days.

11/10/19 17:44:55

~Charlotte's Web III~
...The Quickening...

05/10/19 0:13:18

...and this little piggy went, "WTF man?"

04/10/19 23:44:09

WILSON!!!

04/10/19 23:43:22

“Good evening," it loafed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body? It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.

22/09/19 23:52:47

A snake is going to pop out of there, I just know it.

21/09/19 15:35:45

TAILPIPES

from the

CRYPT

13/09/19 1:20:55

Quit trying to make Bunjeep jumping happen...

08/09/19 20:19:27

Telepaths will be drowned until morale improves. That is all.

07/09/19 6:31:46

"You're not on the fucking team Dad!"

30/08/19 20:40:38

"Same thing we do every day Pinky."

28/08/19 5:31:10

Theeey're Grrrate!

17/08/19 19:33:21

Look at me. Look at me...

I am the captain now.

12/07/19 5:01:19

Well it was good enough for the gander!

25/04/19 23:21:19

Cowabanga!

06/04/19 2:24:38

"I'd like to make a deposit."

02/04/19 4:55:30

"I find your lack of kale disturbing."

23/03/19 19:56:53

I can see my house from here!

23/03/19 19:54:17

When your fetishes align...

03/03/19 20:49:28

"Okay, try it meow."

28/01/19 0:55:39

"No, X does not represent 'the spot' Phil."

27/01/19 0:52:19

It tastes good, but the gilt afterwards...

11/04/17 3:36:33

Ooh a penny!

21/03/17 21:04:21

Dyslexics Untie!

12/02/17 1:15:52

"First name?"
"Harry."
"Last name?"
"Houdini."
...
"Shit."

05/02/17 18:23:15

Oh my dear Lard.

27/01/17 15:22:13

That's the last time we buy a tank at IKEA.

24/01/17 17:43:10

Death by Snu Snu!

Sat 16:55:03

Well... one of us has to be the boy once in a while.

15/09/20 21:59:41

"I call this board meeting to order."

11/09/20 4:05:26

Gamers reacted differently to the rapture than non-gamers.

11/09/20 4:04:52

Four centuries of life had taught Olivander much about reversing the effects of aging and turning back the hands of time...

...this? Oh, no no, this was just one of his messed up fetishes.

10/09/20 1:08:31

because my glasses are only a little dirty of course.

07/09/20 0:11:15

Ah, but does he have a waggly tail?

01/09/20 18:56:46

How much?...

01/09/20 18:55:44

His reign was stainless.

30/08/20 23:34:56

Voldemort's early Horcrux experiments left something to be desired.

28/08/20 1:49:30

"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: There is nothing wrong..."

27/08/20 1:26:34

Monumental envy.

25/08/20 22:49:13

Chef Boyrardon't.

24/08/20 2:02:58

He's not alive or dead... he's just pining for the fjords.

20/08/20 21:13:17

Canadian Navy at your service.

12/08/20 5:11:49

Penny for your thoughts...

09/08/20 16:07:44

Lack of sufficient iron intake was a thing in the thirties.


...look it up!

07/08/20 6:05:35

Gotta hand it to him.

04/08/20 15:47:51

Fucking inflation...

08/07/20 2:08:14

Could clear the savannah after every meal...

05/07/20 14:38:31

"Is That what they did with my balls?"

02/07/20 20:03:18

...but the forth little pigggy made his house in Billy's basement, and that made all the difefrence.

24/06/20 6:38:38

A Pig Named Horse.

24/06/20 6:36:21

Many people don't know that the blockbuster movie "Honey I Shrunk The Kids" was a remake of the obscure black-and-white film; 'Honey I Shrunk The Librarian'.

13/06/20 20:59:18

She's a total beach.

30/05/20 5:19:10

I bet they're silica.

30/05/20 5:18:07

The first zero-emission methane collectors were a bit cumbersome.

18/05/20 15:21:41

Bin there Dump that.

18/05/20 15:14:50

After just a single trampling the group decided that Cycle/Rodeo, or Crodeo for short, was a very bad idea.

13/05/20 5:32:42

"Why won't you let me love you?!"

13/05/20 5:29:18

You've heard of Agent Orange?... well this is Agent Sepia.

Look it up!

06/05/20 3:17:24

SOLD!

21/04/20 15:04:43

help meeeeeeee...

19/04/20 6:24:32

Bin there. Dump that.

10/04/20 21:09:16

Okay, TP is scarce, but cleaning your ass with a toothbrush is just wrong.

10/04/20 5:34:27

"Excuse me, do you have time to talk about our lord a saviour The Bovine One?"

08/04/20 4:14:47

He didn't kill all of the younglings... he saved one for later.

05/04/20 17:25:22

This picture fills me with trepanation...

05/04/20 17:19:26

What a waste of toilet paper!

31/03/20 23:33:00

Well that’s just grout...

29/03/20 23:31:54

Maybe it’s Maybeline...

29/03/20 23:22:56

Cough no evil.
Touch no evil.
Wash the evil off your hands.

22/03/20 13:59:40

No I didn't help my daughter with her science fair project. Why would you think that?

15/03/20 16:05:03

These Tinder profiles are getting weirder and weirder.

22/02/20 20:05:33

...and that was the last time he ever bet his wife.

22/02/20 20:04:48

Everything's gonna be all white.

22/02/20 18:19:38

"No way!"

"Yahweh."

22/02/20 18:03:46

"Suicide hotline? Yes, I just, well... nothing really mattress anymore."

16/02/20 16:49:29

Antidisestablishmenthairianism.

Look it up!

04/02/20 5:30:10

Who you gonna call?

Fro Busters!

04/02/20 5:27:23

"Attention passengers, this is your Camelaptain speaking. Smoking is strictly prohibited on this flight and in the event of an emergency your seat is most likely not a flotation device."

04/02/20 5:19:44

TERMINATOR 12... This time it's Vegan.

02/02/20 3:43:14

A bird in, the bush is worth three in the hand?...

14/01/20 1:24:02

Do you want Ents? Because that's how you get Ents.

14/01/20 1:22:11

What exactly did you tell Bobby about the birds and the bees anyway?

14/01/20 1:21:00

Now That's a green thumb...

14/01/20 1:17:50

What?! You said you wanted to be branch manager...

14/01/20 0:44:47

"Feed me Seymour!"

15/12/19 21:25:31

Gnomencluckture.

25/10/19 5:31:32

No you can't drive my car just because you shit all over yours!

25/10/19 0:23:59

It started as a wart on my shoulder...

24/10/19 15:40:31

Indiana Jones and the Riders of the Fallen Arch.

23/10/19 20:33:54

Pull over!

23/10/19 20:21:34

Fairdrinkum.

23/10/19 0:17:46

The advent of psycowtropics.

18/10/19 5:32:28

Hmmm, Retread sole... Diamond studded ankle strap...

I figure Kardashian.

18/10/19 5:24:58

Franks' Hairticulture course was going well.

14/10/19 20:56:22

Someday everyone will want a Growhawk of their own.

14/10/19 20:54:45

Powdered... Toast... Maaaaaan!

14/10/19 8:12:47

We thneed this.

14/10/19 1:14:46

Tobac hoe

11/10/19 17:40:55

If I could just not be placed in compromising positions with that shelf elf that'd be great m'kay...

09/10/19 4:52:46

Master has turned Dobby into sock puppets. Dobby's are free!!!

09/10/19 4:51:36

Get twerk!

06/10/19 21:36:56

Why that's a tea-pee of course.

05/10/19 16:37:49

A Trump flush... EUCHRE!

04/10/19 5:46:34

Never look the gift whores in the mouth.

03/10/19 14:43:24

Relax, don't do it.

29/09/19 15:37:35

Stephanie from Lazytown has fallen on hard times.

29/09/19 15:35:31

He touched my balls... I had no other choice.

23/09/19 14:48:33