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Charles Gilbert

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Captions log; star date 94621.92

We have encountered a strange colony of verbose aliens and have beamed down a landing party to investigate.

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£50
WINNER

lol x3

26/01/20 21:58:13

Congratulations Charles. Excellent caption, although I've got some questions. No time for them? Ok then I'll just get on... with captioning. --Willie Johnson

lol

"Yes sir, I assure you our new sex-doll packaging is very discrete."

06/10/20 19:37:49

Board with your normal cereal?

17/08/19 19:20:24

clever

"Only 246 sleeps until we're relevant again honey."

27/04/19 3:36:40

Poultry in motion.

02/01/17 20:29:37

Looking for organ donor.

27/09/19 14:28:48

I will never understand bowling.

17/08/19 19:19:36

Anyway... here's wonderwall.

03/10/20 15:41:30

That's not whispering...

10/05/20 5:58:15

Successfully smuggling cucumbers since 1953.

15/03/20 16:06:31

This bike is a real chick magnet.

02/01/17 20:28:23

"Ooh look! A penny!"

27/11/20 20:26:16

"Danmit Sarah! I put a lot of work into making your birthday breakfast special!"

10/09/20 0:04:09

Understanding Women: Volume 1

13/06/20 16:17:39

Perhaps a nod to 20:00:37 --Stephen Bean

Hey, he's God okay... he can look any way he wants.

23/10/19 19:22:13

He looks like he's at the end of his rope!

14/09/19 20:52:19

Dorygami.

03/01/17 23:50:21

Is, is that Sarah Jessica Parker?

10/01/21 22:11:09

Neigh --Vivvy En

"Where we're going we don't need sidewalks Marty."

05/01/21 15:19:38

Yes, but how are you going to get up to 88 mph? --Willie Johnson

Yep... still 2020.

03/12/20 5:22:15

2020 Hide and seek champion.

11/10/20 19:01:59

"Have either of you kids seen like a Really big rabbit run through here?"

09/10/20 2:11:48

This is my tail. There are many like it, but this one's mine.

07/09/20 20:09:05

The greatest cross-over film of 2020;

~Honey, I Shrunk John Wick~

08/07/20 1:07:21

After killing his pet termite and stealing his matchbox, John Wick goes after the colony of fire ants responsible... --Glyn Evans

The bottle says SPF 3000.

07/04/20 14:31:26

No! I'm Farticus!

14/03/20 23:31:47

Trainsquatting.

01/12/19 2:11:41

Row row row your boar,
gently down the stream...

Murkily murkily murkily murkily,
life is but a meme.

04/10/19 22:52:11

Lady Gaga?... is that you?

16/09/19 23:48:12

That takes guts.

17/08/19 14:35:01

Victors Secret

04/05/19 1:42:49

Cutting room floor.

14/04/19 19:30:09

You gotta train them early...

25/03/17 17:06:22

It's not easy to quit while you're ahead.

28/01/17 20:35:34

Rollin rollin rollin,
keep them boulders rollin,
man my delts are swollen,
Rawhide!

07/01/21 1:12:37

"No you idiots, we're supposed to be looking for a giant peach!"

19/12/20 22:01:03

Day three. Still no fish.

06/12/20 1:40:03

The Tardis doesn't always arrive in optimal locations.

29/11/20 19:50:07

Historical Misunderstanding # 17

The Trojan Whores.

21/11/20 16:00:40

It's the only way he could win by a landslide...

18/11/20 15:31:00

That's the perfect distance to be from New York.

25/10/20 20:14:38

This is no gouda.

12/09/20 15:27:10

Nobody cares where you hide anymore Waldo!

09/09/20 23:55:33

Bob Ross; the early years .

29/08/20 0:00:15

Let's make a happy little seedling. --Scrijjy Doo

Maybe it's Nieghbelline.

26/08/20 14:32:12

What? They have a slimming effect...

18/08/20 0:56:05

Nine out of ten dentist prefer if you don't do this.

07/08/20 5:03:19

Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?

05/08/20 3:58:51

Sandy... is that you?

30/05/20 4:19:26

creative

Dat's... my... Speedo.

This is how we do it up on Pointo Peako.

I just wanna hear you screaming, "Why? you freak, oh!"

In this banana hammock that I call my Speedo!

¡esquiarlo!

26/04/20 1:33:36

It's a slippery slope... --Charles Gilbert

The origin story of Mustard-Man left a little to be desired...

02/04/20 14:25:10

Colonel Mustard on the street with a supersoaker. --Scrijjy Doo

The flies are a nice touch. It's all about the accessorizing...

14/10/19 19:53:22

We get it. You vape.

13/09/19 0:16:16

He is risen!

09/04/19 0:09:48

👍 --Scrappy Doo

"Bring me the cat that I might stroke it whilst contemplating world domination..."

06/01/21 5:08:19

I can't wait to unwrap that one!

24/12/20 21:08:34

This is why women live longer.

18/12/20 0:39:32

Salad again?!

22/11/20 21:07:22

Damn it Midas!

17/11/20 21:36:58

Drunky Smurf is my favorite.

24/10/20 22:38:37

He's somebody's druncle? --Willie Johnson

Friggin pot heads.

16/10/20 20:05:21

"Someone's been sitting on my loo." said little bear... and the seat's still warm.

12/09/20 2:44:52

When the acid kicks in...

09/09/20 23:51:49

Meanwhile, inside Schrodinger's box...

08/09/20 14:33:16

I don't know, these philosophers. This is what happens when you leave Schrondinger to an acid trip holding a Rubik's cube... --Glyn Evans

I never said Sargent Simon Says...

30/08/20 22:40:09

Then there was that time I had to take my big sister to the prom.

30/08/20 22:34:03

Try the mushrooms they said, it will be fun they said...

27/08/20 0:28:39

mine...

12/08/20 4:12:28

Phil was completely unprepared for the rapture.

03/06/20 13:20:20

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

13/05/20 4:32:58

Jim Carry... the early years.

02/04/20 0:32:28

It's French. You wouldn't understand.

22/02/20 20:06:53

Steven Seagal's roll choices have really gone downhill.

22/02/20 20:03:31

The dead abide.

04/02/20 20:00:44

Maybe he's born with it... maybe its Neighbelline.

01/02/20 16:44:47

On the next...

Reveal Your Calf Tattoo!

22/01/20 6:01:58

They can bearly contain their excrement!

06/10/19 20:36:23

Theeer's a seagull-on-the-head-of-a-man-on-a-horse-on-a-crypt-on-a-hill-in-a-town-on-the-back-of-a-turtle-on-a-frog-on-a-log-in-a-hole-in-the-middle-of-the-sea.............

26/08/19 2:55:59

Gay pride week wasn't at all like I expected.

17/08/19 18:34:18

You wanna pizza me?!

16/07/19 4:30:21

Yes, we catch your drift.

30/04/19 19:21:45

There have been frostier receptions, but not many.

27/04/19 3:28:27

Minor problems.

20/03/19 21:29:54

"That'll do pig. That'll do."

16/03/19 22:53:39

Come-As-Your-Favorite-Band night can now commence!

06/03/19 0:18:12

Suspect appears cagey...

05/02/17 18:20:21

Getting your dog stoned is bad, m'kay?

01/02/17 1:19:32

Dave's third wish did not go as planned.

22/01/17 22:03:53

These make my feet qwert.

14/01/17 19:43:37

"I have mastered your communication device before age one...

...you are SO screwed. MUHAHAhahahahaha..."

06/01/21 5:06:47

Take me to your leader.

22/12/20 1:14:43

Dress for sucks ex.

22/12/20 1:11:47

Ooh, my birthday card just arrived I'll have to call you back.

17/12/20 2:24:48

Foiled again.

17/11/20 21:36:27

"Foiled again" again. (Tue 20:00:07) --Willie Johnson

Eat Chicken!

07/11/20 5:22:51

My ex-wife kept the house.
Possession is 9/10th's of the law after all...

01/11/20 22:14:55

Is that anything like punch-a-hobo day?

28/10/20 23:06:40

Run Forrest!

25/10/20 20:14:03

Get Over Here!

23/10/20 0:26:27

Monkey see monkey don't.

11/10/20 19:00:45

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes II

~The Revenge~

10/10/20 21:49:26

Little did our intrepid time travellers realize that they'd inadvertently climbed on the head of a sleeping brontosaurus.

06/10/20 19:39:50

"We aren't in Kansas anymo... wait, wait yes we are."

26/09/20 22:52:44

I want to be able to read her shirt so much...

14/09/20 3:02:48

Se what happens when you go vegan??? See?!

13/09/20 1:06:58

Louis Pasteur: The early years.

09/09/20 23:57:50

"Dude, where's my car?"

08/09/20 19:51:05

Heff: The Pre-bathrobe years.

01/09/20 3:18:34

Weird Al has lost weight.

28/08/20 23:59:43

And some age too I presume. --Willie Johnson

You can tell he really digs her.

30/07/20 19:30:52

Weddings/Exorcisms while you wait.

28/07/20 13:59:43

...so we put some hair around it and nobody has missed it since.

10/06/20 14:54:49

You will Roo the day!

06/06/20 14:42:57

There is a runaway trolley barreling down the railway tracks. Ahead, on the tracks, there are fifteen people tied up and unable to move. The trolley is headed straight for them. You are standing some distance off in the train yard, next to a lever. If you pull this lever, the trolley will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is one person on the side track. You have two options:

27/05/20 19:09:24

Where will you be when the Ex Lax kicks in?

26/05/20 14:25:44

Suddenly... pothole!

22/05/20 19:16:17

DUCK!

05/05/20 13:45:43

Sorry I burrowed your toothbrush.

10/04/20 4:36:55

Nice. --Scrijjy Doo

I see the Canada geese are migrating...

07/04/20 14:27:47

Just a little off the top.

05/04/20 16:19:42

Andy Oakley.

31/03/20 22:36:54

In hindsight installing the one way mirrored windows backwards was a bad idea...

19/02/20 21:21:19

"If we get out of this I'm going to fin-slap the shit out of you Carl."

14/02/20 1:52:56

Triggered.

01/02/20 16:41:50

He's gone postal!

15/01/20 17:50:45

Ooh ooh I know this one. Is it... Orlando Bloom?

14/01/20 1:25:12

The Right To Pear Arms.

14/01/20 0:43:31

...and on the ninth day God did all kinds of really weird shit just because it was now there to be done.

01/12/19 2:14:44

Horus is looking dapper these days.

11/10/19 16:44:55

~Charlotte's Web III~
...The Quickening...

04/10/19 23:13:18

...and this little piggy went, "WTF man?"

04/10/19 22:44:09

WILSON!!!

04/10/19 22:43:22

“Good evening," it loafed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body? It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.

22/09/19 22:52:47

"Something off my shoulder perhaps, Mr. Beeblebrox? Braised in a white whine sauce?". :^) --Crunchy Chords

A snake is going to pop out of there, I just know it.

21/09/19 14:35:45

TAILPIPES

from the

CRYPT

13/09/19 0:20:55

Quit trying to make Bunjeep jumping happen...

08/09/19 19:19:27

Telepaths will be drowned until morale improves. That is all.

07/09/19 5:31:46

"You're not on the fucking team Dad!"

30/08/19 19:40:38

"Same thing we do every day Pinky."

28/08/19 4:31:10

Theeey're Grrrate!

17/08/19 18:33:21

Look at me. Look at me...

I am the captain now.

12/07/19 4:01:19

Well it was good enough for the gander!

25/04/19 22:21:19

Cowabanga!

06/04/19 1:24:38

"I'd like to make a deposit."

02/04/19 3:55:30

"I find your lack of kale disturbing."

23/03/19 19:56:53

I can see my house from here!

23/03/19 19:54:17

When your fetishes align...

03/03/19 20:49:28

"Okay, try it meow."

28/01/19 0:55:39

"No, X does not represent 'the spot' Phil."

27/01/19 0:52:19

It tastes good, but the gilt afterwards...

11/04/17 2:36:33

Ooh a penny!

21/03/17 21:04:21

Dyslexics Untie!

12/02/17 1:15:52

"First name?"
"Harry."
"Last name?"
"Houdini."
...
"Shit."

05/02/17 18:23:15

Oh my dear Lard.

27/01/17 15:22:13

That's the last time we buy a tank at IKEA.

24/01/17 17:43:10

...it's a cheeky little neighbourhood.

Sun 4:20:46

I'm feeling a little horse.

10/01/21 22:11:29

"Ooh a penny!"

09/01/21 18:45:03

You too can be a Lord by purchasing one square foot of Scotland!

04/01/21 20:32:05

"but am I a black bear with white markings, or a white bear with black markings?"

24/12/20 19:19:01

"Let's go quad-ing for our honeymoon he said... it'll be fun he said..."

23/12/20 5:46:54

Damnit Siri!""

23/12/20 5:45:32

Target acquired.

19/12/20 18:03:52

Honey I shrunk the commune.

17/12/20 4:25:42

Ack ack. Ack ack ACK!

16/12/20 1:52:05

"If I get one more package for the Potter kid I swear I'm gonna lose it..."

12/12/20 3:34:43

It's time to don the foot-sacks.
It's time to foot the tights.
It's time to feet the Muppets in my Muppet Socks tonight!
It's time to friggin wake up.
It's time to dress up right.
It's time to clip the garters on my Muppet Socks tonight!

04/12/20 2:18:38

When the Rapture occurred Henry regretted saving his virginity for the honeymoon.

02/12/20 0:54:04

#1 in the #2 business.

27/11/20 20:19:42

EXFIRMINATE!

09/11/20 20:31:01

Dalektable.

09/11/20 20:30:07

Whoreillas in the mist.

02/11/20 5:15:58

Scarecrow:

Origins.

01/11/20 17:38:15

Goatmeal Crisp!

31/10/20 18:43:25

"Look, just shit or get off the pot already."

17/10/20 3:58:02

"Why the hell did I have the beans for lunch?"

11/10/20 19:03:13

"We all float up here Richie."

11/10/20 19:02:19

Thou shalt not be fabulous.

09/10/20 14:47:02

Where will you be when the diarreha kicks in?

07/10/20 4:58:55

Toadally dry.

04/10/20 16:02:34

Death by Snu Snu!

26/09/20 15:55:03

Well... one of us has to be the boy once in a while.

15/09/20 20:59:41

"I call this board meeting to order."

11/09/20 3:05:26

Gamers reacted differently to the rapture than non-gamers.

11/09/20 3:04:52

Four centuries of life had taught Olivander much about reversing the effects of aging and turning back the hands of time...

...this? Oh, no no, this was just one of his messed up fetishes.

10/09/20 0:08:31

because my glasses are only a little dirty of course.

06/09/20 23:11:15

Ah, but does he have a waggly tail?

01/09/20 17:56:46

How much?...

01/09/20 17:55:44

His reign was stainless.

30/08/20 22:34:56

Voldemort's early Horcrux experiments left something to be desired.

28/08/20 0:49:30

"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: There is nothing wrong..."

27/08/20 0:26:34

Monumental envy.

25/08/20 21:49:13

Chef Boyrardon't.

24/08/20 1:02:58

He's not alive or dead... he's just pining for the fjords.

20/08/20 20:13:17

Canadian Navy at your service.

12/08/20 4:11:49

Penny for your thoughts...

09/08/20 15:07:44

Lack of sufficient iron intake was a thing in the thirties.

...look it up!

07/08/20 5:05:35

Gotta hand it to him.

04/08/20 14:47:51

Fucking inflation...

08/07/20 1:08:14

Reminds me of the coin purse my dad used to have. How big would a coin purse have to be to hold this money? --Willie Johnson

Could clear the savannah after every meal...

05/07/20 13:38:31

more captions

last comments (total: 44)

Let's make a happy little seedling.

Scrijjy Doo

29/08/20
12:15am

comment on caption:
Bob Ross; the early years . [Charles Gilbert]

And some age too I presume.

Willie Johnson

29/08/20
7:02am

comment on caption:
Weird Al has lost weight. [Charles Gilbert]

I don't know, these philosophers. This is what happens when you leave Schrondinger to an acid trip holding a Rubik's cube...

Glyn Evans

08/09/20
7:41pm

comment on caption:
Meanwhile, inside Schrodinger's box... [Charles Gilbert]

Mortal Oldbat?

[anon]

24/10/20
6:11am

comment on caption:
Get Over Here! [Charles Gilbert]

He's somebody's druncle?

Willie Johnson

24/10/20
11:32pm

comment on caption:
Drunky Smurf is my favorite. [Charles Gilbert]

"Foiled again" again. (Tue 20:00:07)

Willie Johnson

18/11/20
3:20am

comment on caption:
Foiled again. [Charles Gilbert]

Yes, but how are you going to get up to 88 mph?

Willie Johnson

05/01/21
6:43pm

comment on caption:
"Where we're going we don't need sidewalks Marty." [Charles Gilbert]

Neigh

Vivvy En

10/01/21
10:14pm

comment on caption:
Is, is that Sarah Jessica Parker? [Charles Gilbert]

The amusement Parker round the corner.

Willie Johnson

11/01/21
7:18am

comment on caption:
Is, is that Sarah Jessica Parker? [Charles Gilbert]

I agree, but it is getting easier to tell which one is .... well, you know...

Mauris Iocus

Monday
3:38pm

comment on caption:
These Property-Brothers ads are just getting weird now. [Charles Gilbert]

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Charles Gilbert

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last comments (total: 44)

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