super vote: ( left this week)
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''Whereabouts in the UK do you live?''''How do you know I'm from the UK?''
11/04/20 11:27:39
That's the good thing about self isolating. I've finally got to clear out my kitchen drawers.
10/04/20 19:10:55
A room with a moo
07/04/20 19:00:04
Dave's action shot was ruined by a bunch of dorks
01/04/20 7:16:50
We've all hugged the toilet once or twice in our lives. Susan, however, took it to a whole new level.
29/03/20 8:17:00
Birdwatching For Beginners
28/03/20 8:42:18
Cut the shit.
27/03/20 8:00:55
You always could tell Pete had a bad hangover by the size of the ice pack.
21/03/20 20:05:38
G-string quartet
19/03/20 8:08:10
Where are they now? #53: Iconic 70's tennis poster girl.
18/03/20 12:00:06
Gassie
14/03/20 20:09:05
An emotional rollercoaster.
06/03/20 12:32:30
Funny, I dated a vegetarian once and she didn't like little willies.
01/03/20 8:37:20
''Give me the frog any day.''
26/02/20 8:32:41
"Just put the f*ckin' camera away and open the door."
24/02/20 20:31:01
"Have you repaired that sign yet?""Don't worry, I'm on it."
21/02/20 21:55:47
"Good thinking Ahmed, this trip across the Sahara will be much better with air-conditioning."
16/02/20 20:03:32
"Yes, am single."
16/02/20 8:13:02
"All I said was 'perhaps a nod to 08.00.03?'"
14/02/20 12:04:17
Smugglers are becoming more brazen with their people trafficking.
09/02/20 8:59:20
And in his spare time Spiderman helps Gulliver floss.
07/02/20 13:01:19
He kerbs crime.
02/02/20 12:31:11
Short people are so funny
01/02/20 9:01:50
Fay Wray had her favourite part of King Kong stuffed and mounted.
28/01/20 20:01:14
She looks very composed.
28/01/20 8:01:43
I took some home and said to the wife 'let's try something adventurous tonight, babe' and pulled out the vaseline."And what the fuck do ya think you're going to do with that?" She said."Calm down, am just going to put it on the door knob, to stop the kids getting in."
27/01/20 21:56:38
Well, hello Dali
26/01/20 12:03:53
Most relationships involve a bit of gibbon take.
23/01/20 8:22:06
Hardfloor porn.
21/01/20 8:05:56
Tubular Belles
20/01/20 20:00:35
Foodini
19/01/20 20:25:45
Mother of pearl
18/01/20 8:00:03
Now THAT'S a reseeding hairline
15/01/20 20:00:30
🎵 One Step Beyond!
05/01/20 20:00:23
''Lemmy out!''
04/01/20 12:00:24
Coney Island
22/12/19 8:02:28
RIP tide
18/12/19 12:00:03
''Should we go and vote?''''No, the captions are crap.''
12/12/19 12:05:21
''What shall we do with the other suspect, Sarge?''''Grill him.''
04/12/19 8:01:58
That moment when you realize they have urine detectors in the pool.
02/12/19 12:00:07
Reading between the lines
30/11/19 12:00:06
British police are hoping to have him extradited across the pond.
29/11/19 12:10:17
Soldiers have been dispatched to wipe out an Alien invasion
24/11/19 12:05:28
"Ok, now you'll just feel a little scratch"
05/11/19 8:11:52
North Pole dancer
03/11/19 8:05:37
It scared the shit out of me.
31/10/19 12:41:56
Pete hadn't just beaten anorexia. He'd pummeled it to death.
26/10/19 18:45:28
Gardening club in Chernobyl
23/10/19 7:37:49
Princess Margarets tiara comes up for auction.
22/10/19 7:06:02
20,000 Leaks Under the Sea
20/10/19 7:25:39
Duplicat
06/10/19 11:53:57
Gym'll fix it
05/10/19 8:33:02
Young people don't respect their elders anymore.
27/09/19 8:19:02
Trading standards has warned a lot of these cans will be fake.
21/09/19 7:05:45
"Yes they were expensive but they are very rare"
16/09/19 19:02:57
Oh no, not more Johnson supporters.
10/09/19 19:00:16
Alpacalips Now
09/09/19 19:00:07
It's humiliating when your mum still insists on stitching name labels to your clothes.
07/09/19 7:46:46
You could end up with a Nazi injury.
06/09/19 7:01:13
Madame Tussauds reveal waxwork commissioned by The White House. So far it has successfully attended 2 summits, 1 state occasion and a banquet without saying anything stupid.
30/08/19 9:57:08
It was the Gillette condoms which gave me serious grief.
28/08/19 11:04:49
cygnet ring
25/08/19 7:00:06
Cedar's Digest
24/08/19 7:10:16
"Good evening Tom, how are you?""Oh, don't get me started, I woke up this morning and they were already in a mood, something to do with the sofa being ripped to shreds. Then they ran out of Gourmet Mon Petit, so I had to have Lidl own brand food, then they went to work and turned the TV off, so I've been bored all day. They don't even check the litter tray until Saturday, so I have to do gymnastics to avoid my own poo, it must be nice to have a flushing toilet. Oh, and the dog has terrible wind at the moment. Same again please"
22/08/19 8:00:42
"Mmmmm, Chinese, Indian, Italian...I just love these 'all you can eat' buffets"
17/08/19 11:06:13
Die Hard.
15/08/19 19:16:33
''I hope the motel is very successful.'' - Well wisher.
12/08/19 7:21:00
Sale of the Sensory.
08/08/19 7:06:32
"Ooh, you gave me a start!"
03/08/19 14:14:12
No ewe turns
24/07/19 7:22:32
Spot marks the x
23/07/19 19:00:14
Blazing Saddles
16/07/19 11:00:04
Sunday Warship.
12/07/19 7:10:14
"Let us give tanks to the Lord."
12/07/19 7:00:06
Recycling Centre
10/07/19 19:00:04
High urners
10/07/19 7:09:18
Hairy Krishna
09/07/19 19:00:06
"Note to self: remember to tell Mrs Dawson not to move the furniture around when I'm returning from my time travel experiments."
08/07/19 19:14:47
Tinder Surprise
03/07/19 19:00:06
Close-knit family
02/07/19 22:19:16
For once Vlad is not the impaler
22/06/19 11:00:06
So how exactly did you lose your baseball cap up there again?
22/06/19 8:02:48
U crane?...no me Russian
21/06/19 7:00:51
Charlie and the Novichocolate Factory
20/06/19 7:00:07
My girlfriend's not interested insects.
14/06/19 7:03:09
Gnatalie
14/06/19 7:01:30
I see Santa's back
13/06/19 19:28:34
AC/JC
10/06/19 11:00:27
Julie was beginning to regret buying her bras from Amazon.
04/06/19 21:19:52
"Davy Crockett will never find me in here"
03/06/19 7:21:48
"Does my butt look big in this?"
01/06/19 19:46:52
Naturally, there was a huge mix-up when Mr. Jackson had said there'd been a kid napping at school.
22/05/19 19:04:13
Ooh I can see all her privet parts
22/05/19 11:13:26
An officer on a gentleman
21/05/19 8:25:57
Disorient Express
16/05/19 19:14:58
"Well sir after struggling for years, I've finally decided that I need an eye test.""You're not wrong there madam, this is the butchers."
14/05/19 19:56:24
Drowning street
14/05/19 7:16:41
That look when you spot your wife with another man and you can't do anything about it because you're a statue.
09/05/19 19:28:46
Jesus figured selling selfies on ebay would make him a prophet.
07/05/19 11:02:50
🎵 Four blind mice
03/05/19 11:02:24
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