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"I hope you dont think Im being rude, but who are you?"
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The Wolf Vote score: 12175The Wolf

"I hope you don't think I'm being rude, but who are you?"

02/03/21 12:04:17

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5252Al Overy

"So... it got stung by a scorpion fish and there's literally only one way to get the poison out?"

"Yep."

02/03/21 12:52:52

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33879Tony Edwards

Package holiday

02/03/21 12:24:15

 
stone face Vote score: 9391stone face

Free Willy.

02/03/21 12:28:47

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16005Stephen Bean

"Looks like the tide's not the only thing that's rising."

02/03/21 12:58:09

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16005Stephen Bean

Gland ahoy!

02/03/21 12:15:13

 
Tony S Vote score: 1721Tony S

Dont worry Susan has just gone down to the beach to do some winkle picking.

02/03/21 12:04:40

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14327Dave Bryan

''It's grown bigger since we've been standing here.''

''That's because of the ocean swell.''

02/03/21 12:33:26

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12175The Wolf

"THIS IS THE LIFEGUARD. COULD THE PERSON SPLASHING HIS MATE, PLEASE STOP IT, BECAUSE IT'S DANGEROUS. AND COULD THE MAN IN THE INFLATABLE PLEASE ALLOW HIS SON IN THE BOAT, BECAUSE IF HE DOESN'T, IT'S DANGEROUS. AND COULD THE WOMAN LOOKING AT THE MAN'S WILLY PLEASE REMOVE HER BIKINI TOP, BECAUSE, ERM, WE WANNA SEE YOUR KNOCKERS"

02/03/21 12:01:36

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12175The Wolf

Meeting a woman on Holiday, Rule 1.

If you do manage to get a lady to look at your penis, DO NOT headbutt her. It ruins the moment.

02/03/21 12:09:27

 
Tony S Vote score: 1721Tony S

Why did you have an Aladdins lamp tattoo on your cock,it's so small I cant see it.
Give it a rub then you will.

02/03/21 12:08:28

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12175The Wolf

"Nice Cock"

"Cheers Dave, and welcome to Thailand. Now, let me see yours..."

02/03/21 12:02:26

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 873Ellen Duncalf

I just need my phone. My lunch box, purse, flask and sun cream can stay there for now. Thanks babe.

02/03/21 12:01:36

 
Molly R Vote score: 2776Molly R

"Honey, it must be down there somewhere..."

02/03/21 12:00:10

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10351Chris Keegan

"Good grief, that's why they're called trunks!"

02/03/21 12:00:08

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5252Al Overy

Southend peer

02/03/21 14:33:57

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24815Ian Skelding

Jolly Todger

02/03/21 12:19:52

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

“Ahhhh ... how sweet, I remember catching crabs here last year”

02/03/21 12:16:16

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6655Greg Curtis

"Just looking for something; I lost my virginity."

02/03/21 12:09:31

 1
You'll never get it back, but it's right there next to your dignity. --Willie Johnson
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6655Greg Curtis

"Hey, you wanna go 'in'?"

02/03/21 12:08:01

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21514John Glover

"You bastard, that's not a strange rash, that's lipstick!"

02/03/21 12:07:26

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6655Greg Curtis

"Shrinkage."

02/03/21 12:05:44

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5252Al Overy

"I don't know how you've managed this but there's a sea cucumber down the front of your shorts. Turn around and I'll check for starfish."

02/03/21 12:01:41

 
Tony S Vote score: 1721Tony S

That reminds me I must book an appointment at Specsavers

02/03/21 12:01:06

 
Heidi Friis Heidi Friis

I don't think the swelling is an allergy to the SPF Sun Tan Cream. I only applied the bare minimum. I think another factor is involved!

06/03/21 8:06:46

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 481Gavin Smithers

She tried hard, but no flash of recognition.

03/03/21 23:14:58

 
Peter Houle Vote score: 292Peter Houle

"Er, I was promised a white whale."

03/03/21 18:40:56

 
Peter Houle Vote score: 292Peter Houle

Whilst at sea, always examine the dingy.

03/03/21 1:13:44

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5229Lucky Elperro

Yes, you've got crabs.

02/03/21 20:35:00

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11817Neil Mackenzie

Dave made a beeline to her after he saw her blow her Dad’s dingy up.

02/03/21 19:39:11

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11817Neil Mackenzie

They say the penis mightier than the sword, but the sword fish popped the boat.

02/03/21 19:31:47

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 386Mauris Iocus

Used to fish for hours..

But with the right bait, you can fish for whores.

02/03/21 18:54:09

 
Mauris Iocus Vote score: 386Mauris Iocus

"When I said it's to my knees, I meant the water."

02/03/21 18:52:38

 
Peter Houle Vote score: 292Peter Houle

"We're gonna need a bigger scrote."

02/03/21 18:35:41

 
Peter Houle Vote score: 292Peter Houle

It Came From The Deep

02/03/21 18:35:04

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2652Willie Johnson

Third in a series: Birds with peckers.

02/03/21 17:56:29

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2652Willie Johnson

Willy? Or won't he?

02/03/21 17:16:54

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7903Glyn Evans

"The uretha indicates that at some point you'll come into a money load as long as you don't take the piss. That vein tells me that lovewise you'll do plenty of pumping but the frenelum signals that you'll be attached, and the length of your life line tells me...Oh, you should be dead already"

02/03/21 14:50:22

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3560Scrijjy Doo

♪ ♫ Duuun dunn. Duuun dunn. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun ... ♪ ♫

02/03/21 13:56:23

 
susan middleton susan middleton

Looks a bit like a jellied eel?

02/03/21 13:29:42

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2965Mark Wilson

"You will always be my little boy"

"Thanks Mum"

02/03/21 12:39:49

 
Mark England Vote score: 18068Mark England

"Come on Dave. Be bold for once. Let's have some fun. Let's go to the nudist beach....URGHHHH...what's that? Forget what I just said"

02/03/21 12:39:31

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24815Ian Skelding

Bon voyeurage

02/03/21 12:34:55

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2965Mark Wilson

"The viagra still hasn't worked, what am I gonna do if it happens now?"

"Lay on your back in the water, everyone will think its a shark fin and run"

02/03/21 12:33:39

 
stone face Vote score: 9391stone face

Mo by dick.

02/03/21 12:28:03

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16005Stephen Bean

"Go on, touch it. No-one will notice..."

02/03/21 12:25:31

 
stone face Vote score: 9391stone face

Director - "Cut."
Actress - " Yes he is."

02/03/21 12:23:06

 
Mark England Vote score: 18068Mark England

"When you said you've got a tiddler, I assumed that you had caught a small fish"

02/03/21 12:22:55

 
stone face Vote score: 9391stone face

"I know you said it shrinks to nothing when you're in the sea.But you didn't say it happened, when the water was only up to your shins!"

02/03/21 12:19:29

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33879Tony Edwards

Wet and willing

02/03/21 12:18:27

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11594Mr Dome

Selfish bastard dad

02/03/21 12:15:58

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 5279Stu Dent

Honest now it's just like a lilo, The more you blow the bigger it gets

02/03/21 12:13:29

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16005Stephen Bean

"I hope you don't mind being stripe searched."

02/03/21 12:07:53

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1166alexandra ball

Stop in Jane, the sea is cold ok!

02/03/21 12:06:45

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3463Stephen Paterson

Meanwhile in the shallows, one lady was going gaga for his deep end.

02/03/21 12:05:31

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 14327Dave Bryan

''So that's why they call you Long John.''

02/03/21 12:03:22

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16005Stephen Bean

All hands on dick!

02/03/21 12:00:09

 
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