lol clever

The relationship ended when Gladys pulled a Mussel

13/04/21 20:45:32

She thought he was a good catch.

13/04/21 20:00:19

That was the night she got pregnant.
9 months later she had a little nipper.

13/04/21 20:39:29

"That was wonderful, Larry my love. Now I think I'll go and run you a nice, HOT bath."

13/04/21 20:12:04

'Blimey, my nipples are sore!', thought Sue.

13/04/21 20:00:13

Prawnography

13/04/21 21:10:06

"They say lobsters mate for life..."

"Yeah, that's a common misconception that I play up to. When do you want your taxi?"

13/04/21 20:21:54

She caught clawmydia..

13/04/21 21:11:01

He's such a shellfish lover.

13/04/21 20:00:47

"You was really fidgety again in your sleep last night, Larry. You're going to have to start wearing gloves. Look what you've done to my hair"

13/04/21 20:34:35

Lobster Risque

13/04/21 20:00:11

Once she'd had a taste, Jane was forever chasing lobster tail.

13/04/21 20:00:19

The Love Shack

13/04/21 21:03:24

"So Mr Kafka, what gave you the idea for your book, 'Metamorphosis'?"

13/04/21 20:22:45

"It's okay to talk about this stuff, right? I'm a bottom-dweller."

13/04/21 22:46:48

She thought he was one of the Krays.

13/04/21 22:09:00

" I prefer living with you Sylvia. When I was with Dali, I spent all of my time on the phone."

13/04/21 21:33:32

♪ Darlin' it's better, down where it's wetter, under the sheets ♪

13/04/21 20:54:01

"He's my common claw husband."

13/04/21 20:34:51

''I'm not surprised 'The Lady & The Lobster' is top of the fiction best sellers.''

''Neither am I. It's a real pot boiler.''

13/04/21 20:09:47

''He's the perfect lover. After I've shagged him I can eat him.

13/04/21 20:04:16

She’s never in the mood even when I hand it to her on a platter.

13/04/21 20:02:15

Jeff's horoscope read: Today, your wife will be laid up with Cancer.

13/04/21 20:01:22

Despite the initial mix-up, the evening had gone surprisingly well:

"Hey Siri, find me a big Gloucester man."
"Okay, finding you a big lobster man...."

13/04/21 20:00:49

''I don't mind having sex with a lobster but I try and avoid crabs.''

13/04/21 20:00:48

Surf n Turf

15/04/21 16:52:08

Thats how you catch crabs.

15/04/21 0:57:40

No matter how much I try I can't get a lob on

13/04/21 23:40:55

"Honestly, I've been seeing another species."

13/04/21 23:13:21

"What's that fishy smell?"
"Don't ask me; you're the lobster."

13/04/21 23:11:34

After her divorce, Charlotte, luxuriating in her newfound blossoming sexuality, momentarily satiated.. wistfully contemplated.. "Mmm.. next I want to go Bi.. valve."

13/04/21 22:21:45

Why don’t you have a Snickers Dave you’re not you when you’re hungry.

13/04/21 22:14:17

"Don't judge me. The exoskeleton wasn't the only thing hard."

13/04/21 22:13:22

"Don't misunderstand, I do love how you hold me down and pinch me and use all your little fingers, it's just, afterward there's no snuggling, you're just so cold and distant."
"Sorry, I'm just not much of a cuddler, Bob," said Jane.

13/04/21 21:09:52

"Is it me or is it getting gradually hotter and hotter in here?"

13/04/21 20:50:30

"Are you sure you're the one who sang 'Under The Sea'?"

13/04/21 20:46:22

She signed a contract to be his concubine, and unfortunately for her there WAS a get out claws.

13/04/21 20:37:50

"Rose, get up!" yelled Jack. "We need to get off this ship."

13/04/21 20:30:29

It's not unusual to find a lobster on the seabed with a mermaid.

13/04/21 20:21:10

As things started to slowly hot up under the covers Larry the lobster failed to notice...

13/04/21 20:20:23

He used shellfish instead of a horse's head to intimidate... he was a lobster mobster.

13/04/21 20:19:15

"That bastard gave me crabs..."

13/04/21 20:17:20

Fishing for a crustacean caption? Why not use an old crab line?

13/04/21 20:13:42

Ch-wow-der

13/04/21 20:11:13

"Did the Surf move for you Agnes?"

13/04/21 20:07:04

"I'm sorry Edith, but I'm not marriage material. I don't even have a pot to piss in."

13/04/21 20:02:47

Lobster Thermidorma

13/04/21 20:00:46

Lobster tart

13/04/21 20:00:06