	This Week			Last Week			All Time
	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	23	28	#14	23	28	#14	15739	24341	#4
Comments	1	1	#8	1	1	#8	1807	980	#5
Forum Posts	2						76

Michael Winner

signed up: 10 years, 10 months ago
profile viewed: 0 time(s) this week
caption quota: 49
caption votes given since joining: 63,046
comment quota: 30
comment votes given since joining: 2,409
super vote quota: 5

profile photos send private message captions comments received

I've taken a break captioning for a while due to recovering from the dreaded lurgy and a resulting brain fog. I'm back now though, which either means trouble, or more votes for captions. Or votes for troubling captions.

Age: 10

To send a private message to Michael please log in

captions

lol

clever

"This week, on 'Taking a Selfie Using a Galaxy Note 7'..."

15/06/19 12:55:33

lol

clever x2

Caution: Chinese Dragon costume thieves operate in this area.

01/05/18 20:16:15

lol x2

creative

It was several weeks before his landlady realised he'd left without paying.

29/12/14 20:12:10

The following is not a joke; it's a compliment: If you show this image to a thousand people, 950 would just scratch their heads, 49 would make SOME sense out of it...and one, maybe just ONE would be funny. Congratulations! Nice caption, which is ... --Greg Curtis

lol x2

"...so I said, 'what ceiling fan?'..."

18/04/19 20:37:57

Keep chuckling to this a lot. Itâ€™s a brilliant caption ðŸ˜ƒ --Karen Oakenfull

£50
WINNER

lol x2

"How will I recognise you?"

09/11/17 20:34:07

Woo woo! Thanks for the comments and the votes everyone! --Michael Winner

creative x4

A mass grave of unknown snowmen.

05/02/14 8:00:09

Fitting old jokes to captions isn't what I would do personally but each to their own, there's a big difference between getting inspiration from an old joke and then adapting it and citing an old gag word for word. A nod to the original is good f... --Shandonbelle

lol

"Permission to speak, Captain Mainwaring sir..."

24/03/14 20:00:55

creative

clever

West Cider Story.

22/03/16 12:03:32

â™« I feel slitty, oh so slitty â™« --Boycie

lol x5

"Nigella! Have you been on the coke again?"

15/12/13 8:30:56

Now we know who's really behind the exhibits in Charles Saatchi's gallery. Damien Hurst? Tracy Emin? Neither can match the creativity of Nigella on coke. --Mark England

"Young man, about these airbags you fitted for me..."

13/07/12 20:00:06

lol

clever

Before the invention of video games, we had to play the analogue version of Space Invaders.

18/01/17 13:36:29

creative x2

clever

They have taken the holy vowels.

09/03/15 12:01:50

06/05/14 20:24:46

"Hello, Abbey Taxis? I saw your advert and I'd like to apply for the job"¦"

02/05/14 8:00:07

lol

Top tip: when your pets die, have them stuffed and turned into croquet hoops.

13/08/20 12:01:10

lol x2

creative

Eventually they tried other projectiles, but by then the name had stuck: 'catapult'.

20/07/15 8:04:20

creative

In an Espace, no one can hear you scream.

23/06/14 8:04:48

This could spell disaster.

03/10/21 20:33:32

lol

Her thighs follow you around the room.

12/10/17 20:18:45

£100
WINNER

lol

creative

â€œDid you remember to pack the helium balloons for the party?â€

12/06/16 12:00:44

Haha, thanks everyone, my first win, woowoo! --Michael Winner

"What do you want? I'm on the phone."

20/01/14 20:01:08

Coat of arms.

05/09/21 20:24:51

lol

MPs call to ban dangerous new sport of air jousting.

11/01/16 8:03:09

lol

"What's that, Lassie? There's a nuclear weapon about to go off, and we've only got six seconds to-"

01/11/15 12:00:22

"He won't negotiate, sir- he says he's going to blow up everyone in the building."

11/06/14 20:07:36

They would probably need a blow by blow account once it's all over. --Boycie

Accountants.

17/04/14 20:00:07

lol x2

Although it was invented in 1862, it wasn't until 1914 that the Land Mine was first used correctly.

14/11/13 8:27:34

lol

Mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

21/07/13 8:09:59

Dave was beside himself with fear.

15/07/12 20:10:09

Wife beater.

08/05/14 12:00:55

creative

No socks please, we're British.

16/03/14 20:00:21

Botox- know when to stop.

12/02/14 12:01:14

You may laugh, but the Swiss Army have ordered fifty.

27/10/12 9:00:37

clever

"GOAL!"

07/01/19 13:36:53

"Damn- I ordered a Bulldozer."

04/08/18 20:24:12

Roger Fedora.

17/09/16 8:01:26

Later on, it transforms into a sea bed.

03/10/15 20:04:59

clever

"Dave, that's not what I meant when I asked you to sync the files."

02/02/15 12:04:02

lol

creative

After the first few years, Peter Parker realised that decapitating his enemies, eating their bodies and displaying their stuffed and mounted heads on his bedroom wall was, perhaps, taking vigilante justice a little too far.

08/12/14 20:05:08

Funny, I was just typing the exact same caption! ....Just kidding. VERY creative. --Greg Curtis

clever

Peter Parkour.

04/06/21 20:09:53

Quack Lives Matter.

17/05/21 8:20:19

"Haven't you forgotten something?", asked the Fencing judge.

10/01/21 14:13:36

Foiled again. --John Glover

That awful moment when you realise that you are the PiÃ±ata.

11/08/20 8:37:19

"The inspiration for it came when I dropped a tomato."

18/09/19 8:13:56

creative

"I don't know how to thank you- one course of acupuncture and the pain is completely gone."

11/08/18 8:40:54

20/06/18 10:19:43

22/08/17 12:00:18

"Oooh, I see there's a new Polish family moved in."

16/01/17 12:13:08

"Ok, ok! We'll go bloody shoe shopping."

05/01/17 20:11:31

£50
WINNER

lol x3

"...and thats how we make McFlurries. Questions?"

01/10/16 20:11:15

I've never had a McFlurry. I don't think I'll bother now! ;) --Pussy Galore

Escapegoat.

08/07/15 8:04:48

"Virgin Trains hope that the cancellation of the carriages, engine, crew, buffet car and replacement bus service did not affect your enjoyment of today's journey."

26/08/14 20:01:50

Shadow Boxer.

20/07/14 12:00:05

You beat me to it! --Michael Monkhouse

They must be good- the eyes follow you around the room"¦ and out of the gallery"¦ and up the road"¦

05/07/14 8:03:11

creative

"Scarper lads- it's the Copse."

24/03/14 20:00:11

Day-return of the Jedi.

24/05/13 8:00:14

creative x2

"Pull harder Granddad, we're still miles from the nearest petrol station."

08/01/13 12:00:06

"Dave, you're pathetic. You just lie there and let people walk all over you."

07/12/12 8:08:27

When it's sunny, this sundial displays the time in four continents.

03/12/12 8:03:24

Gok, Paper, Scissors.

25/10/12 20:39:54

I'm really not sure about these new McDonalds urinals.

26/09/12 8:02:39

Electrocute.

Wed 8:06:16

creative

clever x2

"I've had it with these m*therfucking babies on this m*therfucking plain."

09/08/21 20:27:15

It's based on a line from "Snakes on a Plane", John: "I've had it with these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!"Interestingly, the movie was hyped up big time thanks to Samuel L. Jackson refusing to follow studio... --James Lennox