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| Captions | 2 | 2 | #16 | 6 | 9 | #24 | 13309 | 20049 | #3 |
| Comments | 1 | #4 | 1 | #4 | 1668 | 838 | #1 | ||
| Forum Posts | 2 | 76 | |||||||
Michael Winner
signed up: 7 years, 12 months ago
profile viewed: 85 time(s) this week
caption quota: 46
votes given since joining: 48,290
super vote quota: 5
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captions
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Caution: Chinese Dragon costume thieves operate in this area. 01/05/18 19:16:15 |
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It was several weeks before his landlady realised he'd left without paying. 29/12/14 20:12:10 |
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The following is not a joke; it's a compliment: If you show this image to a thousand people, 950 would just scratch their heads, 49 would make SOME sense out of it...and one, maybe just ONE would be funny. Congratulations! Nice caption, which is ... --Greg Curtis
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£50 09/11/17 20:34:07 |
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Woo woo! Thanks for the comments and the votes everyone! --Michael Winner
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A mass grave of unknown snowmen. 05/02/14 8:00:09 |
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Fitting old jokes to captions isn't what I would do personally but each to their own, there's a big difference between getting inspiration from an old joke and then adapting it and citing an old gag word for word. A nod to the original is good f... --Shandonbelle
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"Permission to speak, Captain Mainwaring sir..." 24/03/14 20:00:55 |
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22/03/16 12:03:32 |
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♫ I feel slitty, oh so slitty ♫ --Boycie
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"Nigella! Have you been on the coke again?" 15/12/13 8:30:56 |
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Now we know who's really behind the exhibits in Charles Saatchi's gallery. Damien Hurst? Tracy Emin? Neither can match the creativity of Nigella on coke. --Mark England
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"Young man, about these airbags you fitted for me..." 13/07/12 19:00:06 |
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Before the invention of video games, we had to play the analogue version of Space Invaders. 18/01/17 13:36:29 |
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They have taken the holy vowels. 09/03/15 12:01:50 |
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06/05/14 19:24:46 |
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"Hello, Abbey Taxis? I saw your advert and I'd like to apply for the job…" 02/05/14 7:00:07 |
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Eventually they tried other projectiles, but by then the name had stuck: 'catapult'. 20/07/15 7:04:20 |
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In an Espace, no one can hear you scream. 23/06/14 7:04:48 |
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Her thighs follow you around the room. 12/10/17 19:18:45 |
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£100  12/06/16 11:00:44 |
12 |
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Haha, thanks everyone, my first win, woowoo! --Michael Winner
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"What do you want? I'm on the phone." 20/01/14 20:01:08 |
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MPs call to ban dangerous new sport of air jousting. 11/01/16 8:03:09 |
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"What's that, Lassie? There's a nuclear weapon about to go off, and we've only got six seconds to-" 01/11/15 12:00:22 |
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"He won't negotiate, sir- he says he's going to blow up everyone in the building." 11/06/14 19:07:36 |
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They would probably need a blow by blow account once it's all over. --Boycie
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17/04/14 19:00:07 |
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Although it was invented in 1862, it wasn't until 1914 that the Land Mine was first used correctly. 14/11/13 8:27:34 |
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Mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, signal, manoeuvre. 21/07/13 7:09:59 |
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Dave was beside himself with fear. 15/07/12 19:10:09 |
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08/05/14 11:00:55 |
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No socks please, we're British. 16/03/14 20:00:21 |
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12/02/14 12:01:14 |
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You may laugh, but the Swiss Army have ordered fifty. 27/10/12 8:00:37 |
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"Damn- I ordered a Bulldozer." 04/08/18 19:24:12 |
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17/09/16 7:01:26 |
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Later on, it transforms into a sea bed. 03/10/15 19:04:59 |
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"Dave, that's not what I meant when I asked you to sync the files." 02/02/15 12:04:02 |
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08/12/14 20:05:08 |
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Funny, I was just typing the exact same caption! ....Just kidding. VERY creative. --Greg Curtis
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"I don't know how to thank you- one course of acupuncture and the pain is completely gone." 11/08/18 7:40:54 |
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20/06/18 9:19:43 |
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22/08/17 11:00:18 |
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"Oooh, I see there's a new Polish family moved in." 16/01/17 12:13:08 |
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"Ok, ok! We'll go bloody shoe shopping." 05/01/17 20:11:31 |
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£50  01/10/16 19:11:15 |
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I've never had a McFlurry. I don't think I'll bother now! ;) --Pussy Galore
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08/07/15 7:04:48 |
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26/08/14 19:01:50 |
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20/07/14 11:00:05 |
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You beat me to it! --Michael Monkhouse
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They must be good- the eyes follow you around the room… and out of the gallery… and up the road… 05/07/14 7:03:11 |
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"Scarper lads- it's the Copse." 24/03/14 20:00:11 |
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24/05/13 7:00:14 |
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"Pull harder Granddad, we're still miles from the nearest petrol station." 08/01/13 12:00:06 |
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"Dave, you're pathetic. You just lie there and let people walk all over you." 07/12/12 8:08:27 |
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When it's sunny, this sundial displays the time in four continents. 03/12/12 8:03:24 |
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25/10/12 19:39:54 |
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I'm really not sure about these new McDonalds urinals. 26/09/12 7:02:39 |
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more captions
Pteranodonald?
5:28am
comment on caption:
"YES MADAM, I KNOW I'M SHOUTING, BUT I HAVE TO LEAVE THE CAPS LOCK ON BECAUSE I CAN'T USE THE SHIFT KEY AND TYPE AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE OF THESE TINY LITTLE ARMS." [Michael Winner]
♪ Yes, we have no pumpkins / We have no pumpkins today ♪
7:18am
comment on caption:
"So, what you're really saying is that you're out of halloween pumpkins?" [Michael Winner]
Yes, but the Easter eggs are in aisle four.
7:48am
comment on caption:
"So, what you're really saying is that you're out of halloween pumpkins?" [Michael Winner]
Michael Palin's "Tripping Yarns ?"
7:44pm
comment on caption:
Not pictured: 'Decline and Fall' by Evelyn Waugh and Don DeLillo's 'Falling Man'. [Michael Winner]
12.36:37 (not mine)
7:46pm
comment on caption:
Well, I for one welcome our new jellyfish overlords. [Michael Winner]
Didn't see it, but gave it a vote. Mine is a reference to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4jWAwUb63c
I've actually used the same jellyfish caption before on Captionme.
8:08pm
comment on caption:
Well, I for one welcome our new jellyfish overlords. [Michael Winner]
Has the earlier one been altered?
8:55pm
comment on caption:
Well, I for one welcome our new jellyfish overlords. [Michael Winner]
Now I feel seriously ill.
4:24pm
comment on caption:
Michael Gove in lycra. [Michael Winner]
It's like George Galloway in that red leotard only not quite as bad!
4:56pm
comment on caption:
Michael Gove in lycra. [Michael Winner]
Made me snort out loud.
3:17pm
comment on caption:
"Honey, can you just keep an eye on the triplets-
*bump*
"Honey, can you just keep an eye on the twins?" [Michael Winner]