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Stephen Paterson
signed up: 11 years, 6 months ago
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British, with the mind of a stoner.
Age: 46, Town/City: Dunfermline
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That's what she thought stepping into the church... "Aisle altar hymn"
(Old Benny Hill joke, but had to write something since I think your comment should have scored much higher)
3:44pm
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Shorter than a traditional wedding service, the Bride had removed half of the hymns. [Stephen Paterson]
For the first time in decades, Cher's looking fantastic. Must have had some work done.
6:44pm
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No Cher, I do not believe in life after love. [Stephen Paterson]
Here's how it works: If you give a number of pigeons some typewriters and an infinite amount of time, they'll hunt and peck until they've written the complete works of Shakespeare (or a comment on the caption "Get a tomb", whichever is longest).
9:51am
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Crumbs! Will someone please explain to Alice just how a twitter feed works? [Stephen Paterson]
after wading thru a long stream of yellow journalism
8:49pm
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Would go on to earn a Poolitzer Prize. [Stephen Paterson]
Well, someone's certainly full of euphemisms.
6:13pm
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Carpel Tunnel Syndrome's the only thing stopping me from pulling the head off it. [Stephen Paterson]
Still, better than our friends upstairs, the Roachsteins. Their whole brood have to live in matzah flatbread.
6:58pm
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Dave found himself living with a bunch of inbreds. [Stephen Paterson]
They're all in bread if you ask me. Or even if you don't ask me.
9:17pm
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Dave found himself living with a bunch of inbreds. [Stephen Paterson]
That's because Biden is the pips.
10:43am
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Speaking of orange tits, Trump's been quiet recently. [Stephen Paterson]
I heard that they can leave you feeling quite gruff
8:04pm
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Ass-troll-ogists are a right pain. [Stephen Paterson]
Yes! - it must be election day. The most important day to get IndyRef2 in the bag. And then IndyRef 3 ha ha ha, 4 ha ha ha, 5 ha ha ha, 6 ha ha ha, 7 ha ha ha , 8 ha ha ha and 12 ha ha ha .
9:28pm
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Scottish Nationalists take a rare day off from waving flags at the border. [Stephen Paterson]