Karen Oakenfull

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caption votes given since joining: 9,169
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	lol As a funeral director, I should never have agreed to the, ‘Take Your Kids To Work Day' initiative. 30/03/20 13:59:43	27

	lol creative Archeologists reveal why very few escaped from the Pompeii disaster. 15/11/21 8:48:18	20

	creative clever Storm Ciara wreaks havoc across the UK: "I was lucky, a trampoline missed me by an inch and the bloke over the road is wearing a shed." 13/02/20 12:29:29	20

	lol “It was bloody damp in our house when we were kids. This is us in the back bedroom.” 19/01/22 20:16:39	18

	lol "What do you mean go faster? I'm ninety f*cking seven you ungrateful hag." 12/04/21 8:36:41	16

	You always could tell Pete had a bad hangover by the size of the ice pack. 21/03/20 20:05:38	16

	lol That look when you spot your wife with another man and you can't do anything about it because you're a statue. 09/05/19 20:28:46	16

	“We can’t both have irons on Park Lane.” 25/10/21 8:19:14	15

	"I see Edward's on the helium again." 14/07/21 12:03:09	15

	lol "Tonight on, When Hip Replacements Go Wrong....." (Nod to 12:05:24) 11/05/20 0:07:30	3 15
Hi xxx (best make your comments anonymous at the moment), I guessed whoever had done the caption hadn't seen Dave's caption and loved the way you used the idea in a different way. I think Dave was unlucky not to get more votes though and wished ... --Stephen Bean
	lol creative "Help I can't untangle my hands" 15/03/20 21:00:26	15

	CanoepÃ©s 21/09/17 20:32:23	2 15

	lol Oscar Pistorius's campaign bus 24/07/16 12:40:44	15

	Rick decided not to complain, but instead changed his meal choices to beef casserole and sticky toffee pudding. 20/12/21 9:05:58	14

	That's so fake. You can see the thin wires holding the spider up! Duh. 22/08/20 8:50:44	14

	"Darling, can you smell ga....." 18/08/20 8:01:34	14

	Sarah has a drinking problem 08/04/20 8:01:26	6 14
Is that an Airplane in your bottle? --Guideaux .
	In a shocking autobiography out next week, entitled "I hated the bastard" Captain Birdseye's granddaughter tells all. 13/02/20 22:53:41	14

	creative She's hoping that a few minor adjustments to her new skirt, will help take away the emphasis from her massive arse. 23/08/17 20:40:55	3 14
Hahaha, yes petal ;D xx --Karen Oakenfull
	lol creative Uri Geller makes a start on corrogating a new door for his storage unit. 15/06/15 12:38:19	14

	Having just had two Bishop's Fingers, Brendan needed a drink. 09/05/14 9:02:16	1 13
After that he was Hob gobbling. --John Glover
	Lillian checks the obituary column everyday to see if she’s in it. 28/04/22 8:14:59	1 13
She doesn't want to be "late". --Willie Johnson
	"Stay back Angela. I've got this.." 24/11/20 3:09:57	13

	When Janet was approached by a "˜certain magazine"˜ to do some modelling, she thought it would be the start of a glittering career but Scrap Metal Monthly had a very tight budget. 17/09/20 8:27:17	1 12
And she has a tight skirt. --Willie Johnson
	According to footage from his GoPro, his last words were, "Bit tricky here but don't worry guys, I got thi..." 12/08/20 13:48:46	12

	How they got the groom to Mars on his stag night still remains a complete mystery. 04/08/20 21:45:17	12

	It's quite rare to see a man of this calibre. 10/05/20 20:41:59	12

	lol clever "Say cheese." "Bvoooo." 04/03/20 17:06:17	1 12
Seriously, made me laugh out loud. Late captions are often sadly underrated. --James Lennox
	"It's pointless lying to me, I can see right through you." "I've half a mind to end this relationship." 27/04/19 8:07:56	12

	lol The same as other blokes do, use the wife's flannel. 22/01/19 10:06:44	12

	lol “…………then in 400 yards we turn left and carry on straight ahead for half a mile, and take the 3rd exit at the roundabout then………Oh dad, this is so humiliating. I know you’re a tight bastard but couldn’t you have at least hired a car for my big day?” 29/01/22 14:10:39	11

	Try as they might, Roger and Melve have never managed to watch the last 2 hours of The Sound Of Music. 21/11/21 22:42:09	11

	lol Ever since June introduced Derek to the Sunlife Funeral Plan, He’s turned into even more of a tw*t. 05/11/21 8:18:54	11

	For Sale: Miniature Tiger Going Cheep 04/06/20 14:50:17	11

	...and he still would've been if he'd seen the bus coming a bit sooner. 14/05/20 12:12:47	11

	lol "I say we call him Huckleberry." 14/05/20 11:32:38	11

	Fly Chi 18/04/20 22:20:14	11

	"Does it hurt when you go to the toilet?" "Yes Doctor." 24/04/19 8:05:26	11

	lol "I don't mind being spoiled, but I wish they'd let me wash my own arse." 15/03/19 12:29:46	11

	Spider plant 22/05/15 13:59:20	11

	Cat proves once and for all that it hasn't got your tongue. 30/08/14 8:32:03	11

	creative He's lucky he didn't get pissed at the Blue Oyster Bar instead. He'd have been trying to sell half a drain-pipe, two terrified hamsters and an industrial plunger! (Well, according to a friend of mine you understand.) 24/06/14 0:24:38	11

	In true Latvian circus burial law, Olav the clown was given a traditional send off. 11/06/14 16:22:40	1 11
Brilliant caption! --Michael Winner
	$3.99!? Where's the justice in that? 02/11/20 12:01:58	10

	"Stop fretting Maureen." 10/03/20 22:14:49	10

	lol He's playing arse song! 01/07/16 4:40:50	2 10
I agree! Didn't see it until now, but you showed how a later-entry can get votes quickly, IF the caption is brilliant, as yours is. Congrats! --Greg Curtis
	As I watched my long lost brother approach, even Davina McCall was a bit scared. 01/01/22 20:13:31	2 9
Love this one, I think 'brother' could have added to the caption. But ,hey, three other captioneers liked it as it is. --John Glover
	Back in the day, there were all sorts of ways to cure hiccups. 17/11/21 20:09:51	9

	“I remember when all this used to be fields.” 10/10/21 10:04:20	9

	“My son, did you just shout out you were looking for Jehovah?” “No mate, I said, f*cking move over.” 01/08/21 8:11:21	9

	Looks like he's been in the beer trap again. He'll sh*g anything when he's pissed. 12/08/20 20:32:38	9

	"Joe got his pet, but you promised to get me a kitten Daddy?" "I did but....ahem.." 01/06/20 22:12:12	9

	"Are we there yet?" 06/08/16 20:27:38	9

	With such an odd shaped head, ping pong looking eyes, fat beer belly and jaundice, I'd recognise Brenda anywhere. 22/06/14 3:31:56	9

	Up until it burnt down in 1971, this photo gives us a rare glimpse inside the underground recruitment office for The Ministry Of Silly Walks. 10/05/14 0:00:34	9

	“……then turn left and drive about half a mile to the end of the road and you’ll see my house on the corner next to the statue……What do you mean you can’t find it!?” 06/10/21 12:49:22	8

	Cheers bud but this an iPhone 8, I told you to nick me an 11 or 12. 05/08/21 8:04:11	8

	"How did you get on down the Job Centre Pete?" 05/07/21 0:40:54	8

	lol Grandma thinks she's doing Facebook. Bless. 03/09/20 14:19:17	8

	That awkward next day after your wife has found out you've been having an affair and she's burnt everything you own. 28/05/20 12:56:46	1 8
Or you said you weren't having an affair and the shorts and shoes she found under the bed are actually yours, so you have wear them to prove it. --Troompa Loompa
	Stoney broke 11/05/20 20:00:49	8

	Goal!! 16/04/20 2:49:53	1 8

	clever 🎵 His Hat Has Got The Sun On...🎵 08/03/20 22:20:44	8

	He was eventually thrown in a recycling bin. 06/07/19 8:32:26	8

	Jack marvelled at the proud stance she took to break wind. 29/01/19 15:21:55	8

	Thankfully, the hospital catheters of today, are far less conspicuous than this crude contraption from the 1870's 10/09/14 19:08:42	8

	Since trying out the new German caffine shampoo, Helmut's hair has been up for over 4 days. 28/08/14 20:46:59	8

	Tonight On - Struggling Young Mothers: “I thought that the consequences of swallowing pips and seeds was a myth.” 24/06/22 12:09:30	7

	lol I’m assuming the rectum insertion ban came about from that incident involving some lads on a stag night in Wales, who drunkenly decided to fill up the groom’s arse with a gallon of unleaded. He became too ill to even walk. But thanks to a massive fart and a nearby smouldering ashtray, the groom made it to the church on time…….in the Bahamas….a week early. 15/06/22 19:35:59	7

	Janey’s friends couldn’t understand why she just let anyone push her around. 29/01/22 20:17:34	7

	“Oh darling. Home at last from our wonderful, adventurous honeymoon in India. And now we’re relaxing in the bath of our new home as a married couple. Any regrets?” “Er……just being forced to walk over those hot f*cking coals really.” 15/09/21 8:12:42	7

	The Stone Rosies 19/12/20 8:05:07	2 7
They are the Hardest Thing in the World --Mr Dome
	lol When you've driven like an idiot to order a double bacon and egg McMuffin and get told "No sorry" because it's 11.01am. 23/09/20 23:37:28	7

	"What do you mean you planned today so you can kill yourself? What the hell are you on about?" 05/09/20 12:43:25	7

	"I've been at this shelter for 3 years. They're getting a bit desperate now to get me re-homed." 06/06/20 8:06:39	7

	"Stay on the line please while I connect you to someone who can help." 27/05/20 20:09:44	7

	As the Police approached, Geoff told his dog to act normal. 24/03/20 8:46:22	7

	Club feet 04/05/19 8:11:00	7

	To produce and record their first single, the band needed sponsorship. They contacted over a thousand companies and businesses but to no avail. Then, just as they were about to give up altogether, they got a phone call from Playtex.... 03/05/19 20:33:37	7

	"Tonight on "˜Where Are They Now?' - Kajagoogoo." 05/04/19 20:21:58	7

	"Right. I want y'all to put your hands up, then I'm gonna take all your money and all your jewellery, then I'm gonna make y'all strip naked, then I'm gonna shoot y'all. But first...........a song .." 28/03/19 11:02:17	1 7
"Please, no- just shoot us!" --Michael Winner
	Wall Huggers Welcome 25/03/19 14:40:57	7

	lol "He's got his mum's looks, and his dad's legs." Said Brooklyn's nan when she took this photo of her first grandchild. 27/07/16 13:08:22	7

	Ahmed couldn't understand why she was acting so weird all of a sudden. They'd only been married a week. 02/07/15 17:36:01	7

	There's a wrApp for that. 13/05/14 16:45:55	7

	Jean thought a fiver wasn't bad for an original pair of Pat Butcher's earrings. 03/09/14 8:52:14	6

	There goes Sterling Moss. 22/06/14 13:17:33	6

	Spot The Emu Competition Mark an 'X' where you think Emu is and win Â£500! 12/05/14 22:09:07	6

	Neville thought of a clever way to stop being constantly molested by young, sexy, female atheists. 08/12/21 8:01:34	6

	…..…and he definitely will be if he eats that ‘decorative’ raw chicken kiev. 19/11/21 8:02:40	6

	That traditional look of terror you show when someone under the table hands you a piece of cake. 16/08/21 12:08:38	6

	“Right son, I’m just gonna pop you on top of the roof next to the chimney, while I get this finished. It’s a bit too dangerous down here lad.” 09/08/21 8:35:19	6

	"More sandwiches anyone?" "No thanks, we're stuffed." 14/07/21 12:01:39	6

	"Ohhh it's a lawn mower." 05/07/21 12:04:08	6

	Note to self. Remember to sand down horn tips slightly before putting a dress on over my head. 01/02/21 11:45:51	6

	"Can't believe we're watching Janet from accounts having a shit!" 12/11/20 12:13:04	6

	Dalek Begs To Be Exterminated 09/11/20 20:04:16	6

	".......and then I shot him." 28/10/20 8:37:12	6

	Scottish people tend to stand out in hot countries. 27/10/20 20:40:41	6

	"Don't give this drawing to Mummy Chloe. Last night she was banging her head on the fridge door and shouting "Why do we have all these fecking A4 sized shit drawings and paint splodges of fecking rainbows and blobs on here!? I can't find the fecking fridge door handle anymore. Geoff! come and get me another wottle of bine for fuck sake. Then she told daddy that she swore to drunk she wasn't God. 12/10/20 16:12:00	6

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Karen Oakenfull

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