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"I dont know about you, but this is the only place I feel safe from Covid"  "Yeah, me too"...*cough*
"I dont know about you, but this is the only place I feel safe from Covid"  "Yeah, me too"...*cough* photo | portfolio
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The Wolf Vote score: 11774The Wolf

"I don't know about you, but this is the only place I feel safe from Covid"

"Yeah, me too"...*cough*

31/03/21 12:35:42

 7
That's a "tasteless" joke. --Willie Johnson
Tony S Vote score: 1399Tony S

After hours climbing Pete and John can finally announce they have found the worlds largest Walnut whip.

31/03/21 12:02:47

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24472Ian Skelding

"You're going to need a bigger doggie poo bag."

31/03/21 12:32:48

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20292Troompa Loompa

"I'll just take another step back so I can fit in everyth......"

31/03/21 12:42:07

 
James Lennox Vote score: 8058James Lennox

Today on Time Telescope we investigate the problem cavemen had with mammoth shit.

31/03/21 12:19:13

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 828Ellen Duncalf

“Hello officer. This is Myfanwy Jones phoning from her kitchen in Blaenau Ffestiniog. I have just spotted two immigrants from England with my long range telescope who are at the summit of Snowdon and are 3.5cm short of the required 2 metres. You need to get up there and make it snappy.

31/03/21 12:00:21

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11705Neil Mackenzie

What should we name this mountain? Ben.
I don’t know, Nevis.

31/03/21 16:17:11

 
The Wolf Vote score: 11774The Wolf

"Dave, I'm not gonna lie, I'm well jealous of your toilet tent"

31/03/21 12:42:51

 
The Wolf Vote score: 11774The Wolf

"Is it me, or does the Moon look weird tonight?"

31/03/21 12:09:22

 1
Try taking the lens cap off. --Willie Johnson
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11705Neil Mackenzie

The Abominable Snowman suffers from tunnel vision but Dave and Steve don’t know that yeti.

31/03/21 17:29:40

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2534Willie Johnson

Captioneers: You may be heartened to know that the new redundancy filter has prevented the following from being posted: "How will I recognize you?", "Don't you hate it when someone shows up wearing the same thing as you?", two cool cats, a couple of mannequins, a lost bicycle for two, "get a room you two" and a fence that may or may not have been taken by one or the other. Unfortuanately it can't do anything about Dave or Gulliver.

31/03/21 13:11:40

 
The Wolf Vote score: 11774The Wolf

"It's lovely and peaceful up here isn't it?"

"Yes, It's stunning. But did you have to bring Mr Blobby?"

31/03/21 12:13:54

 1
That must be some trick, getting down off a mountain. Usually you get down off a duck. --Willie Johnson
Stephen Bean Vote score: 15597Stephen Bean

"You do the glass on the left Dave, I'll do the glass on the right."

"I hate cleaning Gulliver's snow globe."

31/03/21 12:00:13

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7795Glyn Evans

Proof that Banksy must be an astronaut.

31/03/21 20:15:12

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11447Mr Dome

- These stone structures resemble creatures I've seen before.
- Yes. They look like humans, said the big monster

31/03/21 19:03:10

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11705Neil Mackenzie

Joe and Jill went up the hill.
Aaah I can’t remember what we came up here... ugh. Who are you? Give me a break Man.

31/03/21 16:26:08

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11447Mr Dome

You're right Dave, now we are actually here the moon isn't very big

31/03/21 16:16:01

 
SnapDragon D Vote score: 152SnapDragon D

"Have you noticed the quality of pics on this site is deteriorating?"

"I know, it's appalling. I mean, what is this crap, a pin hole camera shot?"

31/03/21 14:48:50

 
Lady Scotland Lady Scotland

They looked at the UFO in the sky, oblivious to the Dalek in the puffer jacket hiding next to them....

31/03/21 13:19:36

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2534Willie Johnson

"Look, I've caught two of them in the giant glue trap. The fun will begin when they try to move their feet and realize they can't."

31/03/21 12:51:46

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21440John Glover

"I see you have eaten most of your emergency provisions already. You may be my brother, but don't expect to share any of mine"

31/03/21 12:48:35

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7031C CaMel

Klimberscope

31/03/21 12:41:06

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24472Ian Skelding

"Lovely little island you've found Mike."

"Dive, dive ,dive!"

31/03/21 12:40:42

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7431Vivvy En

"I see... I see..."
"What? What can you see, Meg?" asked Dave.
"I see a journey. You will meet a dark stranger. Together you will go high places. Everything is going to be all white."
"Ahh, that sounds great, thanks."

31/03/21 12:35:13

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33732Tony Edwards

Climbing to the top of Everest is just a pipe dream.

31/03/21 12:22:03

 
Tony S Vote score: 1399Tony S

As a celebrity you were never free from attention wherever you go it is not easy living life under the microscope.

31/03/21 12:21:36

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20078John Llamas

“Perkins, I just may have thought of a way that we can break out of this snow globe ......”

31/03/21 12:19:19

 1
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33732Tony Edwards

To complete my captions I need to have total tunnel vision.

31/03/21 12:18:09

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20292Troompa Loompa

"Of course we'll make a fortune. If they're daft enough to believe there's a monster in the loch then they'll believe this is where Julie Andrews did The Sound of Music."

31/03/21 12:17:31

 
Tony S Vote score: 1399Tony S

And you said to just ignore the big bad wolf when he said he would huff and puff and blow our house down.

31/03/21 12:14:25

 
Al Overy Vote score: 4774Al Overy

"One of them's drinking something and the other one's got Fruit Pastilles. Can we nick 'em for having picnic, Sarge?"

"Technically, no. Let's wait until they chew annoyingly, then we'll do them under the new anti-social noises law."

31/03/21 12:13:21

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7031C CaMel

John didn't mind going bald but losing his hairs was starting to affect his snipering.

31/03/21 12:10:28

 
Tony S Vote score: 1399Tony S

Its so cold up here
It's the same for both of us and mine is still bigger than yours.

31/03/21 12:09:17

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20292Troompa Loompa

"Why do I come up here?.....Well, it's summit to do."

31/03/21 12:09:02

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14728Vanessa the Guesser

Last year I spent many an hour peering through toilet rolls, hoping people would just think they were binoculars.

31/03/21 12:07:58

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20292Troompa Loompa

The Peek District

31/03/21 12:07:48

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20292Troompa Loompa

Twin Peeks

31/03/21 12:07:42

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7931Hercules Rockefeller

"We should come round here more often."

31/03/21 12:04:42

 
more photos from the captioning gallery