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Hed never been the same since the split.
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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15370Vanessa the Guesser

He'd never been the same since the split.

30/05/21 20:00:15

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3232Mark Wilson

Fruit and veg suicide rate up to 5 a day

30/05/21 21:38:43

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8303Hercules Rockefeller

The Bananas in Pajamas didn't take the cancellation very well.

30/05/21 20:11:41

 
Mark England Vote score: 18448Mark England

"Benji, Benji, the man from Del Monte changed his mind. He said yes!.....shit"

30/05/21 20:16:02

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 15370Vanessa the Guesser

RIPe.

30/05/21 20:08:46

 
John Beith Vote score: 164John Beith

Top Banana

30/05/21 20:13:18

 
Tony S Vote score: 2329Tony S

Fruit loop

30/05/21 20:03:29

 
James Lennox Vote score: 8611James Lennox

♪ Suicide isn't Plantainless ♪

30/05/21 20:00:18

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4774Crunchy Chords

He used a slip knot.

30/05/21 20:00:06

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12607The Wolf

Have you ever had that feeling when you stay over at a friend's house, wake up in the middle of the night for a pee, switch the light on and then all of a sudden feel like you're not welcome?

30/05/21 21:17:22

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 5403Chris Halliwell

Bananadrama.

30/05/21 20:02:00

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 968Ellen Duncalf

Fruit of the doom.

30/05/21 20:01:01

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11851Mr Dome

The notorious Munch Bunch threatened it was either hanging or they would skin him alive

31/05/21 5:49:21

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 5304Lucky Elperro

"I hate Sundaes".

30/05/21 23:42:05

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 2033Karen Oakenfull

Bert tried to fake his own death but was eaten alive shortly afterwards.

30/05/21 22:02:53

 
Al Overy Vote score: 5968Al Overy

Dead easy snacks on a shoestring!

30/05/21 20:56:25

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5941Karyn Harrison

"I could murder a banana right now."

30/05/21 20:39:19

 
Tony S Vote score: 2329Tony S

"I know we have to keep our distance but maybe this wasn't the best way to deliver the fruit to the care home residents."

30/05/21 20:29:28

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21659John Glover

It seems unjust, there was a bunch of them.

30/05/21 20:18:30

 
Nina Dutton Vote score: 430Nina Dutton

My impotent husband is in the final stages of the grieving process - Acceptance.

30/05/21 20:12:15

 1
Ironically, the rope is stiffer than he was. And now he's a stiff. --Willie Johnson
Mark England Vote score: 18448Mark England

"Blimey Dave, when I said can you hang the bananas on display?"

30/05/21 20:04:30

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4774Crunchy Chords

He decided to end it all when the judge denied his appeel.

30/05/21 20:04:06

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7779Vivvy En

He was a bit green, hanging out with a bad bunch and now they'd left him to rot.

30/05/21 20:02:45

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16909Stephen Bean

"How many murders did he commit?"

"Fyffe."

30/05/21 20:00:50

 1
It was good that they caught him quickly, I heard he was known as the "Fyffe a day" killer.  --Glyn Evans
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25305Ian Skelding

♪ Strange Fruit ♪

30/05/21 20:00:12

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16909Stephen Bean

Is that a slip knot?

30/05/21 20:00:11

 
Prakash  Selvam Prakash Selvam

Please Ripe or RIP

04/06/21 15:13:48

 
Pip Rae Vote score: 21Pip Rae

Not very funny - sorry but it isn't

01/06/21 17:28:50

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 562Gavin Smithers

The BBC admits that David Attenborough's scene dramatising the poaching of rhinos wasn't actually shot on location.

31/05/21 22:42:48

 
Ryan French Vote score: 100Ryan French

Dad: Look son this is what happens when you refuse to eat fruit.

Son: with tears in his eyes,
Ok dad I'll have a banana.

31/05/21 15:07:46

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 990Charles Gilbert

This is unapeeling.

31/05/21 3:40:26

 
Ryan French Vote score: 100Ryan French

unfortunately 1 in 3 bananas are a lot more bruised than they appear to be, we really should keep our eyes peeled.

31/05/21 1:24:20

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25305Ian Skelding

City news, commodities, Fyffe now have a stranglehold on the banana.

30/05/21 23:47:14

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25305Ian Skelding

"Mary, where do you get these ropey bananas from?"

30/05/21 23:44:29

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11851Mr Dome

Living with old Mavis was tough, even the lamps commit suicide

30/05/21 22:08:57

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3232Mark Wilson

Some just can't handle life on the outside when they leave Shawshank

30/05/21 21:48:21

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1267alexandra ball

She finally realised the other two in bananarama don't want her.

30/05/21 21:08:57

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3674Scrijjy Doo

♫ ♬ ♩ Banana-nana,
nana, nana,
hey, hey,
goodbye. ♫ ♬ ♩

30/05/21 21:08:49

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3674Scrijjy Doo

Rest in Pies

30/05/21 21:03:59

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34127Tony Edwards

"They said it was only a matter of time before he would go bananas."

30/05/21 21:01:33

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 34127Tony Edwards

"I suspect Colonel Mustard, in the Lounge, with the rope."

30/05/21 20:52:55

 
Guideaux . Vote score: 2334Guideaux .

Chokita.

30/05/21 20:49:32

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21225Troompa Loompa

The Hanging Gardens of Bananabylon

30/05/21 20:37:19

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5941Karyn Harrison

"How did he die?"

"Arsenic and old shoelace."

30/05/21 20:35:46

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5941Karyn Harrison

The tragic news of Bertie the banana's demise came only days after a whole family of lemons were found at the foot of Beachy Head.

30/05/21 20:31:51

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21225Troompa Loompa

He took the secret Banoffee Pie recipe with him to his grove.

30/05/21 20:31:48

 
John Beith Vote score: 164John Beith

Dave was definitely well hung

30/05/21 20:29:42

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 25305Ian Skelding

"May God have mercy on your Dole."

30/05/21 20:26:29

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2798Willie Johnson

He used to be the best of the bunch but now he's lost his appeal. Too bad he won't live to a ripe old age.

30/05/21 20:24:34

 
Tony S Vote score: 2329Tony S

Police say the meat had been butchered but this was a grocer death.

30/05/21 20:23:12

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 24493Michael Winner

He ended up on the Dole.

30/05/21 20:21:11

 
John Beith Vote score: 164John Beith

Sally thought a hanging fruit basket would look good on the lounge.

30/05/21 20:19:08

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 8080Glyn Evans

"Hanging's a doddle, it's much more humane than skinning."

30/05/21 20:16:45

 
Dot Old Vote score: 1508Dot Old

Fyffe's not worth living any more

30/05/21 20:11:10

 
Nina Dutton Vote score: 430Nina Dutton

Hung, drawn and quartered.

30/05/21 20:10:50

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 21225Troompa Loompa

It's a gross way to die but the guillotine would be even grocer.

30/05/21 20:09:29

 
Dot Old Vote score: 1508Dot Old

Noose banana

30/05/21 20:07:19

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8303Hercules Rockefeller

The coroner would later reveal that it was a case of auto-erotic asphyxiation gone sour.

30/05/21 20:02:12

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5941Karyn Harrison

He's well hung.

30/05/21 20:02:00

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16909Stephen Bean

What do you call it when a banana gets what he deserves?

Bananakarma.

30/05/21 20:01:36

 
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