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"What do you mean, its my weekend to have him, Im in the middle of a bloody game!"
"What do you mean, its my weekend to have him, Im in the middle of a bloody game!" photo | portfolio
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John  Glover Vote score: 21521John Glover

"What do you mean, 'it's my weekend to have him', I'm in the middle of a bloody game!"

21/04/21 12:17:08

 1
"Either way, you're not going to score." --Willie Johnson
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14919Vanessa the Guesser

"Word of warning, Mum. He looks like a player to me."

21/04/21 12:50:58

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2992Mark Wilson

I'm confused, am I calling him daddy now or sticking with arsehole sperm donor?

21/04/21 19:13:24

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16070Stephen Bean

"Smell my hand Mummy. My nappy needs changing."

21/04/21 12:03:14

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

"Oi! Get back down onto that football pitch and earn me another £10,000 a minute towards my inheritance."

21/04/21 12:21:25

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 24854Ian Skelding

"Don't Mum, he'll only go down holding his ankle."

21/04/21 12:48:53

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12273The Wolf

"HANG ON...That's my Mum. What's the magic word?"

"Haribo"

"Very well. You can f-ck her now"

21/04/21 12:46:02

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14919Vanessa the Guesser

Palm son day

21/04/21 12:05:41

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

"No. The coach meant you've to be a substitute for my dad down there on the pitch."

21/04/21 13:32:35

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 33914Tony Edwards

Look Who's Baulking

21/04/21 12:59:57

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7488Vivvy En

No goal, thanks to the hand of Todd.

21/04/21 12:35:18

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12273The Wolf

"Don't do it Mum, he's been eating onions"

21/04/21 12:04:40

 1
"Isn't Onions the babysitter's name?" --Willie Johnson
The Wolf Vote score: 12273The Wolf

"Hang on Dave, Charlie is trying to get this bogey"

21/04/21 12:02:41

 
Ryan French Vote score: 48Ryan French

That's not my dad.....

25/04/21 1:45:20

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 2992Mark Wilson

There's the hair bobble you couldn't find this morning Mum

21/04/21 18:46:44

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 1184alexandra ball

Back off mate, she's mine.

21/04/21 14:05:07

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 7488Vivvy En

"...and Snogovic takes control. It looks like he's going to score...! Ooh, and he's been tackled by the new Defender."

21/04/21 13:37:41

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7179C CaMel

“Unexpected item in the baggage area.”

21/04/21 12:07:20

 
Tony S Vote score: 1829Tony S

So is this 1 my new daddy or will he be like the other 5 this week and gone in the morning.

21/04/21 12:05:45

 1
And it's only Wednesday --Mr Dome
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10351Chris Keegan

"Not so fast daddyo, next thing you know I'll have a baby sister"

21/04/21 12:00:33

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7921Glyn Evans

"Speak to the hand, because my Mum's face doesn't want to smooch it"

"He's going to grow up to join the Scottish Family Party, isn't he?"

21/04/21 20:33:43

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11614Mr Dome

Talk to he hand 'cos the face ain't listening

21/04/21 18:05:28

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 3572Scrijjy Doo

Ménage à Tot

21/04/21 14:02:42

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 11614Mr Dome

Two's company, three's a crowd

21/04/21 13:20:18

 
C CaMel Vote score: 7179C CaMel

“Sorry to interrupt, does this smell of sick or poop?”

21/04/21 12:52:17

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 896Ellen Duncalf

We’ll have no more of that. I am liking the benefits of being an only child.

21/04/21 12:28:57

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 16070Stephen Bean

Goo-gooseberry

21/04/21 12:28:30

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11837Neil Mackenzie

My Mummy. I told you to get off her tits this morning.

21/04/21 12:25:23

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

They first met about 12 months earlier at a Coca-Cola kiosk."

21/04/21 12:23:39

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8089Hercules Rockefeller

"Sorry, pal, loose lips sink ships. How do you think I got here?"

21/04/21 12:16:18

 
Tony S Vote score: 1829Tony S

Having been separated for 18 months it was an emotional reunion with his wife and 4 month old baby.

21/04/21 12:15:30

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12273The Wolf

I always knew the baby would come between us.

21/04/21 12:15:25

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

🎵 Block-a-bye Baby...🎵

21/04/21 12:15:23

 
Tony S Vote score: 1829Tony S

Whete did you get that novelty face mask?

21/04/21 12:12:10

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 2659Willie Johnson

Interception!

21/04/21 12:10:59

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12273The Wolf

"hehehehehe, I've got your nose! ... YOU SEE? It's not funny is it? Let that be a lesson to you"

21/04/21 12:09:20

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 14919Vanessa the Guesser

He's a real party pooper

21/04/21 12:09:11

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 8089Hercules Rockefeller

"You shall not kiss!"

21/04/21 12:08:26

 
Tony S Vote score: 1829Tony S

Why do you get 1 when you said I'm not allowed a my little pony.

21/04/21 12:08:23

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 20723Troompa Loompa

Goo goo gag.

21/04/21 12:02:29

 
SnapDragon D Vote score: 344SnapDragon D

“Come on Mum.. not this dude again! Stealing my kisses, next he’ll be trying to make a move on my boobs too. The 70’s called, they want the ponytail back.”

21/04/21 12:02:17

 
The Wolf Vote score: 12273The Wolf

"Erm, not so fast you two. Sure, it always starts with an innocent kiss but we all know where it ends up, and I have no intention of sharing my bloody bedroom with a crying brat. So, to summarise. No hanky panky until you can afford a three-bedroomed house"

21/04/21 12:00:34

 
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