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Ian Skelding	"I need your clothes, your boots and your. ..... could you call me a cab?" 22/02/21 20:54:22	3 15
OK, "You're a cab." --Willie Johnson
Glyn Evans	"It's alright Mum, you push, I'll catch my sister" 18/02/21 8:25:23	15

The Wolf	Some people are just not cut out for working at the Samaritans 16/02/21 8:15:50	15

Dave Bryan	''How much do the council pay you for doing this job?'' ''What council?'' 14/02/21 8:26:00	15

Vanessa the Guesser	"I got chills, they're multiplying.." "You'd better get tested then." 12/02/21 20:00:22	1 15
They're multiplying by dividing, adding to the population. --Willie Johnson
Troompa Loompa	clever Sadly they were separated when Dave was posted overseas. 07/02/21 12:02:33	15

C CaMel	lol "two things I can never sleep with." 04/02/21 16:42:23	15

Tony S	" ................... . ." It's a silent caption 03/02/21 20:13:30	5 15
Your best one yet! --Mauris Iocus
Lucky Elperro	Showing his incompetence again, the PM forgets to leave his phone number. 27/01/21 12:00:49	15

The Wolf	clever "It took me ages to get up the A4 this morning" 26/01/21 20:00:16	15

Ian Skelding	'Tortoise wins race.' "What? I'm sure I was only asleep for a short while." 22/01/21 12:20:26	15

Dave Bryan	Feline Dion 21/01/21 12:01:21	1 15
Still sounds like Pussy Riot. --Mauris Iocus
Hercules Rockefeller	"I thought you claimed that you never test your makeup on animals." 20/01/21 12:07:55	15

Tony S	lol Newcastle under 8s Swim team return after lockdown 19/01/21 8:01:39	1 15
You should see the under 8 boys' swim team --Mr Dome
Mark Wilson	" You gonna tell her she's not allowed on the sofa" 16/01/21 12:19:02	15

Vivvy En	🎵 Always look on the bright cider life 13/01/21 20:23:51	15

Dan Nicholls	Always said she was a hoe. 07/01/21 14:49:38	1 15
Hoe-ly mole-y! --Willie Johnson
The Wolf	I met her on Plenty of Fish & Chips 21/12/20 20:38:35	15

James Lennox	Upon returning from a piss, Dave suddenly realised he'd re-entered the auditorium through the wrong door. 21/12/20 8:40:26	15

Al Overy	lol "If you can stay at home stay at home, otherwise go to work but don't go to work if you can work at home. Meet outside, not inside unless you have to meet inside but wear a mask, even if you are outside with six people in a public place or thirty people in a church. Everyone clear?" 17/12/20 13:06:24	1 15

The Wolf	It took 4 hours for Emma to gradually melt a 5ft snowman using her heated thermal glove, but she was determined to finish the job. Absolutely ruthless. 07/12/20 9:01:08	15

James Lennox	Deer Lord... 06/12/20 20:00:51	15

Kenny Ireland	"The climax of our trip". 03/12/20 20:34:29	1 15
Climb-ax? --Willie Johnson
Al Overy	I see your future, young one. You will go on to be... In many, many, MANY captions. 30/11/20 8:02:38	15

Stephen Bean	"But mum, I had a bath yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that." 23/11/20 8:53:15	15

alexandra ball	Stop looking at those tits! 18/11/20 20:41:53	2 15
I can relate to this caption as I used to go out with a pornithologist. --Karen Oakenfull
Neil Mackenzie	lol Joe was blind but he knew his wife had took her knickers off. 14/11/20 9:18:05	15

C CaMel	Experienced idiot seeks village. 12/11/20 11:52:02	15

Vanessa the Guesser	Police are going to file charges. 10/11/20 20:06:58	15

Dave Bryan	''Did you find the needle?'' ''No.'' 08/11/20 8:22:17	1 15
"No, I'll needle little more time." --Willie Johnson
Stephen Bean	lol x2 WWTF 06/11/20 12:17:00	15

Vivvy En	How to scare the crap out of a woodpecker. 29/10/20 20:49:55	1 15
And lose an eye! --Karyn Harrison
Scrijjy Doo	The Bitches of Eastwick nod to 8:17:54 and/or 12:07:32 25/10/20 14:48:35	1 15

stone face	clever Thomas would never live this school prom photo down. The other kids taunted him for months. It got so bad he decided to quit his job as headmaster, and vowed never to wear that dress again. 22/10/20 8:13:48	15

Stephen Bean	The Loneliness of the Thong Distance Runner 21/10/20 19:34:50	15

Mark England	The first ever car to park in Liverpool 16/10/20 11:01:17	15

Vanessa the Guesser	clever McCain and Abel 13/10/20 19:00:57	15

Stephen Bean	"I can't see a bloody thing with the son in my eyes." 30/09/20 19:05:05	1 15
He's about to get a sonburn, even though he's wearing a sonscreen. --Willie Johnson
Dave Bryan	''Say something, darling.'' ''I can't, it's a silent movie.'' 25/09/20 7:10:59	15

The Wolf	lol That moment that you let yourself into your parent's house to give them their anniversary card and........ 23/09/20 19:36:06	15

Dave Bryan	clever ''Don't forget, two centimetres.'' 21/09/20 19:25:47	15

Chris Keegan	"I really don't know where he got it from but it's everytime he's about to take off he's got to point out the emergency exits" 19/09/20 8:18:07	15

Dave Bryan	''Just hand over the bananas and nobody will get hurt.'' 16/09/20 11:15:32	15

Ian Skelding	"I have to send her out to get the groceries now since she told me that I couldn't drive anymore," said Prince Phillip. 14/09/20 7:33:39	15

Vivvy En	"Dinner's on me..." 12/09/20 19:22:44	15

Hercules Rockefeller	Crop top 12/09/20 19:09:39	15

James Lennox	I wish we could return to the good old days, when women took ironing seriously. 10/09/20 7:21:35	15

Al Overy	Little house on the purry 09/09/20 11:29:34	15

James Lennox	lol It's obviously a Salvador BaalÃ. 07/09/20 7:00:36	15

Rachel P	"I can't go with someone staring at me" 06/09/20 7:13:19	15

Vanessa the Guesser	Miss Russia won the pageant by a whisker 28/08/20 19:14:06	1 15
Then, did they whisker away? --Willie Johnson
The Wolf	"...and this is the dick pic he sent me this morning..." "Eugh, Sally that's gross. Your Grandad should know better" 19/08/20 19:17:03	15

Hercules Rockefeller	creative Peeky Blinders 16/08/20 7:03:06	15

Dave Bryan	''I'm the monkey who sees no evil. I went blind years ago.'' 15/08/20 7:07:28	15

Mark England	I worry about our daughter sometimes. I often think "What planet are you on?" 13/08/20 7:33:41	15

Dave Bryan	As he was late for an appointment, Jaques decided to have his starter and dessert together. 12/08/20 19:08:05	15

Rachel P	Commuting suicide 12/08/20 12:09:13	1 15

Vanessa the Guesser	Must be a Best Western. 03/08/20 11:00:07	1 15
Or a Second-Best Western. --Willie Johnson
Kenny Ireland	Gnome man's land. 02/08/20 7:59:31	15

Stephen Bean	"Noah says he can take the boy, but one of you girls has to stay behind." 29/07/20 20:26:27	1 15
"Let's draw straws. The loser has to go with the boy." --Willie Johnson
Mark England	"The geese sent me. If you want to see your dog again, they want half a dozen loaves and a packet of raisins, by noon tomorrow" 29/07/20 19:20:22	1 15
Little did the geese know, it would all be stuffed down their throats for pate de foie gras. --Willie Johnson
Chris Keegan	lol Brothels open up again, but you'll need more than a condom. 25/07/20 12:33:54	15

The Wolf	Up next on Channel 4. The miracle of childbirth... 22/07/20 19:03:45	15

James Lennox	lol That awkward first date moment, when she wants you to regurgitate food into her mouth, but you're not sure if you should. 19/07/20 7:14:06	3 15
You'd think that no matter how inebriated someone got, that they wouldn't eat someone else's vomit - however it wouldn't surprise me if someone somewhere had a story like that to tell. --Glyn Evans
Dan Nicholls	Good morning welcome to McDonald's, have you been waiting long? 16/07/20 7:33:19	15

Dave Bryan	''Are you responsible for that crack?'' ''Honestly, dad, it's not my fault.'' 11/07/20 11:13:46	5 15

Al Overy	The Floppy Cock Clinic were delighted with their tasteful rebrand. 11/07/20 7:15:43	15

Stephen Bean	It's not easy googling 'how to remove superglue' with your elbows. 10/07/20 19:01:14	1 15
How to remove superglue with your elbows? Why not just use your... oh, never mind. --Willie Johnson
Stephen Graham	You've got the job Miss Jones, you were way out in front of the other candidates. 06/07/20 11:11:19	1 15
She really stood out. --Willie Johnson
Mr Dome	clever Of the four bank robbers only half made a clean getaway 04/07/20 19:38:26	15

Mark England	lol "How was I to know that I couldn't shit in THAT sand?" 02/07/20 19:11:41	15

Vanessa the Guesser	lol creative "At the turd stroke, it will be 12.27 and 30 seconds.." 27/06/20 11:27:30	2 15
Must be an Irish Speaking Clock....12.27 and 30 seconds..So It Is. --Flo .
Troompa Loompa	It was 3 hours before Jane's boss realised she'd actually skived off for the afternoon. 27/06/20 8:09:19	4 15
Good either way although even better with both sentences in my opinion. What I think doesn't matter, I hope you get more votes. --Willie Johnson
Vanessa the Guesser	"Is this the bastard who shoved a stick in my rabbit hole?" 25/06/20 19:00:27	4 15
Up the rabbits! --Karyn Harrison
alexandra ball	I caught a fish, it was this big! 21/06/20 11:28:53	15

Chris Keegan	Consequently Sharon hasn't lost any knickers off the line in weeks 17/06/20 11:28:22	1 15
Dirty bitch hasn't washed any that's why. --Morgan .
stone face	"Well the good news is, they're expected to bring social distancing down to one metre. So you'll be able to ride inside soon." 15/06/20 11:22:21	15

Ian Skelding	2019 : Lazy bugger 2020 : Responsible adult 05/06/20 8:44:56	15

Rachel P	clever Minutes later the arcade crab claw picked up the groom 31/05/20 19:45:38	15

Dave Bryan	Neighbours 30/05/20 7:00:13	15

James Lennox	The top half looks good, but dig a little deeper and you'll find she's got crabs. 29/05/20 19:14:51	15

Vivvy En	'Wish I'd never taught them how to play games on their phones' 29/05/20 11:12:51	15

Chris Keegan	Drowning Street 27/05/20 11:06:12	15

Mark Wilson	"Can't believe the girls started the beach volleyball without me" 27/05/20 8:00:18	15

John Llamas	" ..... yes, I know I said we need a cycling coach but ....." 22/05/20 19:10:34	15

Dave Bryan	lol ''After three days of suffering in excruciating agony, the cat eventually died.'' ''That was wonderful. I love a happy ending.'' 22/05/20 7:37:20	15

Vanessa the Guesser	"I think our neighbours are swingers." 19/05/20 8:06:06	1 15
In that case they might be up for a treesome? --Woofer 6
stone face	Waiter! There's a heir in my loaf. 17/05/20 19:53:21	1 15
Bread Head. --Woofer 6
Tony Edwards	"Let them eat cack." 15/05/20 19:07:58	1 15
Or just eat cack. --Woofer 6
stone face	"Well I think you've got a cheek asking about my personal hygiene, when you've just pissed in the street." 15/05/20 7:03:48	1 15
I didn't ask that...I said Hi Jean. --Woofer 6
Mark England	lol creative "In 2nd place we have Geppetto, who carries his fibbing son by his nose" 14/05/20 11:05:07	15

Karen Oakenfull	lol "Tonight on, When Hip Replacements Go Wrong....." (Nod to 12:05:24) 10/05/20 23:07:30	3 15
Hi xxx (best make your comments anonymous at the moment), I guessed whoever had done the caption hadn't seen Dave's caption and loved the way you used the idea in a different way. I think Dave was unlucky not to get more votes though and wished ... --Stephen Bean
Hercules Rockefeller	50 Shades of Neigh 09/05/20 19:03:57	1 15
And 50 shades of NAY. --Willie Johnson
Dave Bryan	Captain Tom harassed by groupies. 06/05/20 11:09:52	15

Paul Reeve	Being a naughty Teddy, this wasn't the first time that he'd had a clip round the ear. 04/05/20 11:01:37	15

stone face	"I think I now know where mum buried my ecstasy tablets." 03/05/20 11:14:16	15

Tony Edwards	clever ZZ Topiary 01/05/20 9:53:32	15

Mark England	"What stairs?" 30/04/20 19:13:11	2 15
Those 'come to bed' stares --Mr Dome
Stu Dent	creative Remember to eat your greens 30/04/20 11:28:09	1 15
Whether you call it take away or takeout. Here's at least two restaurants that are open for business. --Willie Johnson
Ian Skelding	"Are you going to take the bus?" 29/04/20 11:02:55	15

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