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Police are going to file charges.
Police are going to file charges. photo | portfolio
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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13604Vanessa the Guesser

Police are going to file charges.

10/11/20 20:06:58

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9881Chris Keegan

"Nooooooooo!!!!! I said a PORCH in the front entrance!!!!!"

10/11/20 20:00:08

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9367The Wolf

"999, what's your emergency?"

"Hi, I'm in the High Street and opposite Emma's Nails, there's a pensioner not wearing a mask"

10/11/20 20:27:56

 
Al Overy Vote score: 2120Al Overy

On the upside, Derek made his premature ejaculation appointment.

10/11/20 20:01:25

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9367The Wolf

"Morning Emma, sorry I'm late"

10/11/20 20:17:38

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 7134Glyn Evans

"They say the captioneer hadn't had any votes in almost a month"

10/11/20 20:13:03

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9881Chris Keegan

'Have YOU ever been involved in an accident that wasn't your fault? We pay out ££££££££'s'
"Here you go love, you want to tell them about that bloody nail bar that went straight into you"

11/11/20 10:33:22

 
stone face Vote score: 8327stone face

Emma claimed she was crashed into, because of a discrepancy over a nail varnish job she had carried out.
But the police pressed no charges, due to lacquer evidence.

11/11/20 8:02:29

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4717Stu Dent

Wonder if the driver done a varnishing act

10/11/20 20:15:59

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4717Stu Dent

When we said parking at rear, You were suppose to go around

10/11/20 20:04:51

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23343Ian Skelding

"We decided to have a Porsche fitted."

10/11/20 20:00:09

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6766James Lennox

Emma had wanted to call her store "Manicure You", but the shop next door was already called "Man, I Cure You"

... and then a car crashed through her window.

10/11/20 21:18:30

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23343Ian Skelding

"Ironic really, the driver was hammered."

10/11/20 20:30:07

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23343Ian Skelding

"That's the end of that career."

10/11/20 20:28:13

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4717Stu Dent

When I saw Emma Snails above the door , I thaught I would show you this S Car Go

10/11/20 20:09:51

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13101Stephen Bean

"I wouldn't have crashed if someone hadn't put a randy alligator on the back seat."

10/11/20 20:04:27

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6766James Lennox

"I see you help with insomnia, but how about narcolepsy?"

10/11/20 20:04:25

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9881Chris Keegan

"So come on, how did your driving test go?
- "I nailed it"

10/11/20 20:00:54

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13604Vanessa the Guesser

No More Nails

10/11/20 20:00:24

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11208Neil Mackenzie

Driving a Porsche certainly opens doors.

11/11/20 7:31:10

 
John  Glover Vote score: 21098John Glover

"Dad, it's the local police, mum's gone window shopping again."

11/11/20 1:39:36

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6449C CaMel

She needs some tips, badly!

10/11/20 22:58:08

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2915Scrijjy Doo

Nailed it!

10/11/20 20:30:34

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9367The Wolf

"Taxi for Emma?"

10/11/20 20:29:49

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2915Scrijjy Doo

Drive-thru now open.

10/11/20 20:29:13

 
Mark England Vote score: 17472Mark England

"Is this the place where I can get treatment for cataracts?"
"Try next door"

10/11/20 20:15:35

 
The Wolf Vote score: 9367The Wolf

"Turn around when possible"

10/11/20 20:09:28

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6735Vivvy En

"Can you squeeze me in for a quick manicure?"

10/11/20 20:05:26

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9881Chris Keegan

"When you say they've opened up a new drive through nail bar don't tell me you got the wrong one..."

10/11/20 20:05:06

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13604Vanessa the Guesser

UK's vainest getaway driver.

10/11/20 20:02:55

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4768Lucky Elperro

Well thank you Gillian Taylforth.

10/11/20 20:01:39

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13101Stephen Bean

Nails of the Unexpected

10/11/20 20:00:39

 
Al Overy Vote score: 2120Al Overy

Grandad was still driving at ninety... Sadly it was in a thirty zone.

10/11/20 20:00:38

 
Charles Gilbert Vote score: 699Charles Gilbert

Nailed it!

11/11/20 17:18:58

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1996Willie Johnson

She went to get her nails done. Too bad it was Emma's Nails that was done.

11/11/20 10:38:15

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1996Willie Johnson

And to top it all off, Emma didn't nail the driver's test.

11/11/20 10:26:02

 1
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1996Willie Johnson

Typical male driver. If only he had stopped and asked for directions....

11/11/20 10:24:49

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10532Mr Dome

She was obviously late

11/11/20 8:52:31

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1841Karen Oakenfull

Emma was getting fed up with passing hypochondriacs crashing into her shop.

10/11/20 22:05:51

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6449C CaMel

The driver had to be cut from the vehicle, then waxed on the back seat.

10/11/20 21:06:20

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6449C CaMel

He was caught red toed.

10/11/20 21:04:22

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32876Tony Edwards

Crash investigators concluded that the accident had been caused by a nail.

10/11/20 21:02:34

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 12096Dave Bryan

''Where can I find details of the incident, Sarge?''

''Try the Emma Nail file.''

10/11/20 20:36:07

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32876Tony Edwards

The dangers of driving with too long nails.

10/11/20 20:27:11

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6735Vivvy En

"Phew! Nearly broke a nail then."

10/11/20 20:21:42

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 12096Dave Bryan

''Have I passed?''

10/11/20 20:20:24

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 5180Karyn Harrison

Miraculously it didn't have a mark on it but it did sustain a couple of punctures.

10/11/20 20:15:40

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6766James Lennox

Dave was blind, but this didn't stop him buying a Porsche. Unfortunately his guide-dog turned out to be a shit navigator.

10/11/20 20:13:10

 
Al Overy Vote score: 2120Al Overy

"This was no accident, constable!"

"How do you know, sarge?"

"No skidmarks!"

"Well, maybe he didn't have time to feel scared..."

10/11/20 20:12:57

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7235Hercules Rockefeller

Not knowing if her insurance was gonna cover such a wreck was a nail-biter for Ingrid.

10/11/20 20:08:26

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4717Stu Dent

Window Stopping

10/11/20 20:06:27

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 13101Stephen Bean

"I was just testing my eyesight officer."

10/11/20 20:06:03

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 23343Ian Skelding

"911"

10/11/20 20:05:12

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 382Ellen Duncalf

The poor guy had so many existing health problems he didn’t stand a chance.

10/11/20 20:01:02

 
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