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Dont forget, two centimetres.
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 11812Dave Bryan

''Don't forget, two centimetres.''

21/09/20 20:25:47

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11812Dave Bryan

''Stop complaining about the bowl. When I was a fledgling all we had was a rusty old pan to bath in.''

21/09/20 20:19:24

 11
Ah ha! 3 clues in one sentence: Anon is an American male at least middle aged. We'll catch the bastard yet ... Being a middle aged male I don't want to incriminate myself, but in NZ we "bathe in the bath" too, however, I'm pretty sure Brits ... --James Lennox
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12273Stephen Bean

"We're both f*cked mate. I think the cat put superglue on the rim."

21/09/20 20:20:58

 1
And then there were only two pairs of feet left behind on the rim. --Willie Johnson
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13289Vanessa the Guesser

Did you hear about the pair of tits who walked into a bra?

21/09/20 20:08:54

 1
Fozzgog B. Vote score: 293Fozzgog B.

"Really Gramps? There was milk right on the doorstep just waiting to be pecked at? That's so cool!"

21/09/20 22:12:47

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1883Willie Johnson

"You had to go and order the large soup, didn't you."

21/09/20 20:17:55

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5789Paul Reeve

“When you said come back to my gaff, I’ve got my own pool, I honestly thought you was bullshitting.”

21/09/20 20:13:58

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8755The Wolf

"...and whatever you do, don't mention the upcoming US election to Neil Mackenzie..."

21/09/20 20:15:11

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4089Crunchy Chords
Dont forget, two centimetres.

21/09/20 20:01:15

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1618Al Overy

"But, MUM! I had a bath last week!"

21/09/20 20:00:10

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9472Chris Keegan

"Let's go out for a drink I said, 7.30 sharp I said, what fu@king time do you call this???"

21/09/20 20:25:19

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12273Stephen Bean

"Don't move, there's a cat right behind you... just kidding… Did you just shit yourself? Bet you don't feel so 'great' now do you mate?"

21/09/20 20:16:05

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4549Stu Dent

Country going back into lockdown because tits can't abide to social distancing rules when out drinking.

21/09/20 21:10:50

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

“What do mean, you forgot the shampoo!”

21/09/20 20:13:53

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11812Dave Bryan

''We better hurry up and have a bath before those bloody woodpigeons start shitting in it.''

21/09/20 20:07:24

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8755The Wolf

"Now before you say anything, let me guess...You're called Dave and you have a funny story to tell..."

21/09/20 20:00:26

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1618Al Overy

"How did you hear about this birdbath?"

"Twitter."

22/09/20 19:24:23

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32660Tony Edwards

"Can't you see, I'm medtitating."

21/09/20 20:29:49

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6983Glyn Evans

"I've said it once and I'll say it again, those fucking mammals have a nerve labelling us after their lactating glands. We don't even have any!"

21/09/20 20:06:51

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 5226Chris Halliwell

No I'm a Great Tit, you'll probably see some Blue Tits when the weather gets colder.

21/09/20 20:03:15

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7110Hercules Rockefeller

Bird Bath & Beyond

21/09/20 20:00:23

 
Sheila  Graham Vote score: 313Sheila Graham

I used to live in Peckham but Bath is more to my taste.

22/09/20 11:20:04

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2755Scrijjy Doo

"Waiter, there's birds in my soup."

22/09/20 1:12:06

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6212Greg Curtis

"Maybe I'll just take 'a human bath.'"

21/09/20 23:32:39

 
Molly R Vote score: 2155Molly R

"Just look at your reflection, Dad - your hair and beard are almost totally white."

21/09/20 22:01:51

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9472Chris Keegan

"Come on! If we're landing on water where are the emergency exits?"

21/09/20 21:26:34

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2755Scrijjy Doo

♫ ♬ When the rob-rob-robin go bob-bob-bobbin along. ♫ ♬

21/09/20 21:05:21

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1883Willie Johnson

Super glue never... wait, what is all the noise about?
I was just going to say super glue never works on a porous surface. What did you think I was going to say?

21/09/20 20:22:38

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 735alexandra ball

Don't forget to wash behind your ears. Mum, I'm 25.

21/09/20 20:07:49

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 212Ellen Duncalf

”Stop stressing Terry..Tiddles didn’t torture you mercilessly and snuff out your life, she just roughed you up a bit.”

21/09/20 20:06:34

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9472Chris Keegan

"Don't think I've got enough on my plate without you showing up?!!"

21/09/20 20:05:41

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6507Vivvy En

"Where are your water wings, you daft tit?"

21/09/20 20:01:25

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1618Al Overy

"I heard it's invitation only here now."

"Yeah, R.S.P.B."

21/09/20 20:00:44

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13289Vanessa the Guesser

"So are you up for a wet t-shirt competition then?"

21/09/20 20:00:27

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 12273Stephen Bean

Never miss an opportunity to give your tits a good wash.

21/09/20 20:00:06

 
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