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Newcastle under 8s Swim team return after lockdown

19/01/21 8:01:39

"Ok madam. Take your time. Now then, which one of these monstrous perverts caught a glimpse of your ankle?"

19/01/21 8:00:12

clever

Obviously third from the right was the only one who listened when they asked for a line-up

19/01/21 8:21:17

The Chippendaves

19/01/21 8:54:03

''Don't be frightened, madam. They can't see you behind the screen. Now can you recognise the clean-shaven man who assaulted you by the side of the pool?''

19/01/21 8:34:00

Boy bands have come a long way since the 20s

19/01/21 9:41:08

Calvin Declines

19/01/21 9:36:26

''I don't think I'll go for a swim. There's an elephant in the pool.''

19/01/21 8:09:31

The Brighton Lifesavers of 1922 were proud to say nobody drowned under their watch, but were disappointed to say nobody went near the water under their watch.

19/01/21 9:27:13

On the plus side of wearing big woollen trunks that your nan knitted, you either drowned in them or learned to swim pretty damn quick.

19/01/21 21:34:09

"I say old boy, move aside would you, we're trying to walk left here."

"Sorry old man, can't do, we're fairly keen on walking right you see."

19/01/21 8:20:33

The competition looks stronger than ever in the 2021 Male Captioneer of the Year Contest.

19/01/21 8:02:26

They tried hard to cover it, but behind closed doors they were a bunch of raging Speedophiles!

19/01/21 8:00:48