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"Noah says he can take the boy, but one of you girls has to stay behind."
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 10770Stephen Bean

"Noah says he can take the boy, but one of you girls has to stay behind."

29/07/20 21:26:27

 1
"Let's draw straws. The loser has to go with the boy." --Willie Johnson
Mark England Vote score: 17044Mark England

"The geese sent me. If you want to see your dog again, they want half a dozen loaves and a packet of raisins, by noon tomorrow"

29/07/20 20:20:22

 1
Little did the geese know, it would all be stuffed down their throats for pate de foie gras. --Willie Johnson
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6707Glyn Evans

"Quickly kids, escape! The Sith are doing their light sabre synchronized swimming again"

29/07/20 20:20:26

 1
Team captain is Darth Wader. --James Lennox
David Robb Vote score: 178David Robb

"Mum, William,s turned the lawn sprinkers up full again."

29/07/20 21:13:42

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2446Scrijjy Doo

Hey kid. Wanna buy some quack?

29/07/20 20:35:28

 1
"Yes but it has to be quick. I'm only interested in quick quack. It's a quirk of mine." --Willie Johnson
Stephen Bean Vote score: 10770Stephen Bean

"Please don't feed me bread. I prefer Quacker Oats."

29/07/20 20:07:57

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20695John Glover

"Hello ducky."
"See, I told you my brother was gay."

29/07/20 20:49:03

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4263Stu Dent

Is this the Drake all the kids are listening to these days.

29/07/20 20:40:15

 
The Wolf Vote score: 7233The Wolf

"Bring back lockdown so we can go back on the f*cking Xbox"

29/07/20 20:37:13

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1539Karen Oakenfull

“What are kids peking at me for?”

30/07/20 2:08:49

 
The Wolf Vote score: 7233The Wolf

"Right, you grab him and we'll force feed him Andrews liver salts and a can of Coke"

"No! I'm watching the duck. And stop being mean to my brother"

29/07/20 20:31:34

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10801Neil Mackenzie

Prince Andrew was out with two girls when they came upon the fountain of youth. He drank the water and Pow he was a young boy again. The girls wouldn’t drink because they were frightened the duck had shit in it.

30/07/20 10:20:12

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9890Mr Dome

What are you three piering at?

29/07/20 22:09:46

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9890Mr Dome

Two girls one duck

29/07/20 21:26:51

 
Al Overy Vote score: 505Al Overy

"Reminds me of playing that duck from Beatrix Potter."

"Jemima?"

"No, I made all the noises..."

29/07/20 21:24:03

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5735James Lennox

"Did you girls know that ducks choose just one partner to mate with? Luckily for you two, I'm not a duck."

29/07/20 20:22:51

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12541Vanessa the Guesser

"TWO METRES!"
"Sorry kids, but I canardly hear you"

29/07/20 20:12:36

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6824Hercules Rockefeller

"Please keep away! I don't wanna get human flu."

29/07/20 20:10:29

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23172Michael Winner

"This week, on 'Duck Stareout'..."

30/07/20 17:55:13

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4940Kenny Ireland

"He says that he is lost and needs to find his mate and get back to the bingo hall".

30/07/20 9:08:46

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1641Mark Wilson

"Little boy, no pissing in the water you 2 dicked freak.... Oh my mistake"

29/07/20 21:48:08

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1620Willie Johnson

Moments later the duck got a freshwater enema as it swam over one of the water jets just as it was going off.

29/07/20 21:13:52

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 551alexandra ball

What the duck's that??

29/07/20 21:02:38

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22427Ian Skelding

"What limb do you want from us today Mister Duck?"

29/07/20 20:48:36

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4792Karyn Harrison

♪ Bird on the Wye ♪

29/07/20 20:43:03

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32060Tony Edwards

Nobody notices little Jimmy doing his impersonation of the Manneken Pis.

29/07/20 20:38:02

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1539Karen Oakenfull

“Exuse me. You haven’t seen 8 ducklings anywhere have you? The little bastards are hiding round here somewhere.”

29/07/20 20:26:54

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12541Vanessa the Guesser

🎵 It's a... It's a... It's a
It's Hoisin 🎵

29/07/20 20:25:10

 
Mark England Vote score: 17044Mark England

"Yes kid, my beak is long and my orange feet do look funny, but at least I ain't got two willys...and do your flies up"

29/07/20 20:23:31

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4792Karyn Harrison

"Any Warburton's Toastie? That Hovis you usually bring gives me the runs."

29/07/20 20:14:07

 
Al Overy Vote score: 505Al Overy

"I'd offer to swap some of my feathers for bread, but I don't want to bring you down."

29/07/20 20:11:36

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22427Ian Skelding

"Never mind, I'm sure you'll turn into a Swan soon."

29/07/20 20:06:30

 
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