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"I think our neighbours are swingers."
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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12009Vanessa the Guesser

"I think our neighbours are swingers."

19/05/20 9:06:06

 1
In that case they might be up for a treesome? --Woofer 6
Woofer 6 Vote score: 224Woofer 6

He's Gibbon her one.

19/05/20 10:21:55

 
Rachel P Vote score: 1763Rachel P

She's a Howler

19/05/20 8:15:20

 1
Sounds like the missus before I ask her who's she's thinking about. --Woofer 6
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12009Vanessa the Guesser

"Watch it! That's macaque hole."

19/05/20 8:01:13

 1
Poor girl they only have short tails. --Woofer 6
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4473Lucky Elperro

Are you sure this is the only cure for hiccups?

19/05/20 22:22:30

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4630Karyn Harrison

Sex on the Beech

19/05/20 9:42:11

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9644Mr Dome

Shocking sex tape emerges of Martin Keown

19/05/20 8:48:43

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3985Stu Dent

The fumble in the jungle

19/05/20 9:05:51

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12009Vanessa the Guesser

"Well it makes a nice change from forever blowing Bubbles."

19/05/20 9:00:46

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8880Chris Keegan

I'm also hoping my monkey caption will help me come from behind.

19/05/20 8:23:20

 
stone face Vote score: 7636stone face

"Every friggin time! Every time we try and have a bit of intimacy, he turns up. Staring and doing his running commentary. am sick of it ...Hey Attenborough! Why don't you fuck off."

19/05/20 8:03:17

 1
Or come & have a go....can't do any worse I've had way too much penis colada. --Woofer 6
Stephen Bean Vote score: 10059Stephen Bean

"She can't get enough of my man-drill."

19/05/20 8:00:51

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4473Lucky Elperro

And, deep in the forests of the Amazon, David Attenborough gently whispers of how monkey society reflects many of the morals and values of their human cousins... while in the background Horace, deep in his own reflective thought, humps his sister.

19/05/20 22:30:02

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2259Scrijjy Doo

Everyone loves Greek yogurt, but no one wants to see how it's made.

19/05/20 19:43:32

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14935Dan Nicholls

I can't finish. They're showing another school round. It's not right.

19/05/20 12:38:19

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9644Mr Dome

PG Tip

19/05/20 9:34:16

 
stone face Vote score: 7636stone face

"I saw two dogs climbing a tree and having sex the other day."

"Really!"

"Yeah, apparently they were doing it monkey style."

"Funny old world ,innit."

19/05/20 8:12:51

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1472Willie Johnson

"I know we can't read, but I don't think s-u-p-e-r-g-l-u-e spells lubricant."

19/05/20 21:56:39

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6574Glyn Evans

"Ooh. We're being filmed"
"Ignore them, keep going. They're probably just after a monkey shot"

19/05/20 12:35:20

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6992The Wolf

Finally they've managed to get some intelligence on Love Island.

19/05/20 9:13:02

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1466Karen Oakenfull

“It isn’t what you think honest.” Says Jack when he spots his missus leaping towards him from the next tree.

19/05/20 9:00:21

 
Woofer 6 Vote score: 224Woofer 6

"Oh fu*k look its your Dad, he's gonna go ape.

19/05/20 8:58:37

 
Woofer 6 Vote score: 224Woofer 6

Get pregnant?....Not much chance of that pal its a bloke.

19/05/20 8:44:01

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9662Dave Bryan

''I'm glad we moved to Gibraltar, darling. It always goes rock hard.''

19/05/20 8:27:13

 
Mark England Vote score: 16898Mark England

"What do you mean, you're stuck?"

19/05/20 8:25:07

 1
No I said...its a good fu.. --Woofer 6
Stephen Bean Vote score: 10059Stephen Bean

"Don't you dare say 'Planet of the Rapes', she said yes, ok!"

19/05/20 8:09:48

 
Stephen Graham Vote score: 1030Stephen Graham

"You need the injection sweetheart, you'll just feel a tiny prick."

20/05/20 15:30:40

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6125Greg Curtis

"...They are SO human..."

20/05/20 0:55:34

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1249Mark Wilson

I'm sorry. Of course I still fancy you, I'm just tired that's all.

19/05/20 19:10:23

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1466Karen Oakenfull

“Hurry up Derek, I’ve gotta pick the kids up in a minute.”

19/05/20 19:01:43

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4708Kenny Ireland

Taking the Mickey.

19/05/20 18:13:33

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1466Karen Oakenfull

“Is it in yet?”

19/05/20 16:13:18

 
Barrie Bullock Vote score: 576Barrie Bullock

Stand & deliver.

19/05/20 15:11:02

 
Woofer 6 Vote score: 224Woofer 6

OO-OO-OOO-AAA-AAA-AAA.....okay okay that's enough faking it.

19/05/20 14:13:09

 
Dev B Vote score: 645Dev B

Come near my banana tree hooman, and I will f**k you like this!

19/05/20 14:00:16

 
Woofer 6 Vote score: 224Woofer 6

This isn't what I thought you meant when you said lets get into Amazon & join together as Prime-mates.

19/05/20 13:39:12

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20559John Glover

"Now what?"
"I don't know, Guy is just finishing copy typing the next page of the Karmasutra and then he'll pass it over."

19/05/20 12:27:30

 
  Smuldo Vote score: 11659 Smuldo

🎵Hey Hey We're the Monkees🎵...says Davy Bones.

19/05/20 11:39:21

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5686Paul Reeve

“I enjoy the sex, I’m just not so keen when you wear your chimp mask.”

19/05/20 11:38:28

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4630Karyn Harrison

"What kind of a tree is that?"
"It looks like a Monkey Puzzle."

19/05/20 9:59:45

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4630Karyn Harrison

🎵 We wanna make love in this shrub ...

19/05/20 9:50:24

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 409alexandra ball

Monkey business.

19/05/20 9:47:12

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 18787Troompa Loompa

"But you asked for some Monkey Nuts..."

19/05/20 9:05:22

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3985Stu Dent

Bi-curious George

19/05/20 9:03:35

 
Woofer 6 Vote score: 224Woofer 6

Little Yorkshire lad at the zoo says to his Mum....
'Sithi Mum them two monkey's is fuc..g'
Mum slaps him round the head & says
'what have I told you about saying Sithi?'

19/05/20 8:47:33

 
stone face Vote score: 7636stone face

"Ok kids, and that's today's lesson on right angles....See you all tomorrow in monkey school."

19/05/20 8:42:08

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9644Mr Dome

'..I wish he would hurry up and finish I've got so much to do today..'

19/05/20 8:40:19

 
stone face Vote score: 7636stone face

"And now you know why they call me the rock of Gibraltar."

19/05/20 8:29:53

 1
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10679Neil Mackenzie

He wasn’t looking because her hairy arse was a bit of a turn off.

19/05/20 8:23:41

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10679Neil Mackenzie

Ah two males must be Gibbon take.

19/05/20 8:20:49

 
Rachel P Vote score: 1763Rachel P

The origins of twerking

19/05/20 8:19:44

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10679Neil Mackenzie

Think about bananas, think about bananas, I don’t want to come too quick.

19/05/20 8:17:42

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9662Dave Bryan

''If you want to put it there, it'll cost you another three bananas.''

19/05/20 8:12:54

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6721Hercules Rockefeller

"I'm giving 'er the ol' monkey wrench."

19/05/20 8:06:14

 
stone face Vote score: 7636stone face

"Ah look mum..Two monkeys playing shopping trolleys."

19/05/20 8:04:42

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9662Dave Bryan

''Looks like it could rain later.''

19/05/20 8:03:30

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5541James Lennox

Monkey see, monkey do.

19/05/20 8:02:20

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 9662Dave Bryan

''Could you move about a bit more?''

''I'm balancing on a branch you idiot.''

19/05/20 8:01:37

 
Molly R Vote score: 1767Molly R

Yesterday we did it standing up in a hammock.

19/05/20 8:01:28

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 10059Stephen Bean

"TWO METRES!"

19/05/20 8:00:30

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8880Chris Keegan

It's everytime he sees her, he goes apesh*t.

19/05/20 8:00:27

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 12009Vanessa the Guesser

The cock of Gibraltar

19/05/20 8:00:17

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 10059Stephen Bean

Primating

19/05/20 8:00:17

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 10059Stephen Bean

Pri-mates

19/05/20 8:00:06

 
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