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Glyn Evans

signed up: 7 years, 3 months ago
profile viewed: 22 time(s) this week
caption quota: 46
votes given since joining: 20,271
super vote quota: 6

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captions

lol x2

creative x3

Marital Arts

10/01/14 12:00:12

Or "Marital Kombat" :-) --Oli Blackwell

Dread Man Walking.

29/10/14 9:04:37

creative

"The milky bras are on me."

05/07/13 12:05:39

clever

The tortoise and the hair.

24/02/19 12:28:25

clever x2

"I don't know how I got burnt, I've had my sun screen on all day."

11/11/16 20:08:44

hahaha, took me some time.'sun screen' --sandeep chahal

clever

"It's not you, it's me. I need space."

23/10/16 12:16:15

lol

For some drivers, this makes no fucking difference.

31/01/14 8:13:20

Plaque Beauty

11/01/13 12:11:03

"The ad did say "For Sale: Remote TV..."

15/05/19 12:06:47

21/08/18 8:37:02

05/10/16 20:29:28

"Time for payback. Let's see how Goldilocks likes it."

05/08/18 12:01:39

"I prefer this. I find Oral Bee stings a little."

29/05/18 20:25:05

Cross dresser.

12/02/14 20:06:46

Derrick showed off his werewolf tattoo which can only be seen during a full moon.

03/06/13 9:58:31

...at the South Pole? --Ross Davidson

creative

What the hell did that seagull eat?

30/05/19 8:02:24

I imagine he has a spare tyre.

27/09/18 12:10:05

lol x2

Crutches won't stop Eric from doing the long jump.

02/04/16 13:10:04

Tripping on the stairs.

02/06/15 12:39:19

From the Ann Winters catalogue.

19/09/14 12:33:35

Bob couldn't stand the new perfume his wife was wearing - Channel No.5.

18/03/14 10:34:17

Sophie had a sphere headache.

02/12/13 12:01:55

"- and that's a beautiful save by the goatkeeper."

29/04/13 8:31:13

lol x2

creative

"This silver hand came out the sky, pointed me out and said "It's you". I thought I'd won the lottery but all it did was f**k up my brolly."

07/10/16 8:24:31

You beat me to this caption by like 10 seconds :) Nice one. Very creative! --Greg Curtis

"Stop picking at your food."

03/10/15 13:24:42

lol

Although the mugger was dressed as Batman, the victim identified the assailant as "that Robin bastard."

02/12/14 13:26:25

creative

What a zombie sees.

29/07/18 20:32:34

Runs like cluckwork.

23/02/18 9:12:27

"I guarantee with our law firm, we can get you custardy."

30/03/16 12:39:26

"Warning. This program contains flushing images."

06/03/16 14:11:59

Bedrock has finally got a McDonalds.

23/01/16 12:18:22

Sample Menu.

15/07/15 20:00:25

creative x2

"You pulled the same shit with the three bears, but not with us. Get out of our house."

20/06/14 12:21:34

Turnip the volume.

12/06/14 12:05:38

Spawn off shotgun.

17/04/14 12:00:34

Walking the Plonk.

26/03/14 20:06:42

"I can't believe Hillary forgot the flag."

24/02/14 12:03:10

The missing consignment of Viagra is finally found; the perpetrator misread the instructions trying to get a stiff duck.

28/01/14 8:10:52

I would have fed it to the chickens, then I might have got a stiff Cock. --Neil Mackenzie

04/05/13 12:07:02

15/07/14 12:23:45

15/06/14 12:31:44

24/04/14 9:44:54

"I can never see my feet in milk. It's almost as if I lactose."

29/01/14 12:12:47

Daryl was in continent.

16/08/13 8:29:51

Delay Misérables.

17/04/13 9:13:42

Love comes naturally, don't faucet.

21/03/13 12:05:27

Chimp My Ride

28/01/13 12:13:48

clever

They're collector items

Thu 8:04:38

The patina adds value. --Scrijjy Doo

"I never knew ice creams could read" said Sister Sofia

15/02/20 20:20:47

clever

Jesus was always surrounded by twelve figures.

14/12/19 8:07:12

That darn fox

13/09/19 8:00:19

He's a bloody so-and-so --Mr Dome

"At least I don't see dead people any more."

10/06/19 8:41:12

"Gonna do the Monster Mash?"

05/05/19 12:09:02

Thorchestra

17/04/19 20:08:57

lol

...CA

06/02/19 12:11:18

Hmm. But if it was that, there would only be two dots before the letters, not three, surely? --Molly R

Any garlic braid?

03/01/19 13:05:32

lol

Snack my bitch up.

13/07/16 14:33:12

My fridge is on the blink.

15/04/16 20:26:04

Even though it was my birthday, Harry obviously wanted me to comment on his new blazer.

01/07/15 12:43:06

"And it's goodnight from me..."

17/12/14 22:11:32

clever

"Is that a Trench coat?"

24/11/18 9:01:55

Vitamin C World

26/07/18 20:37:35

Shirley's getting treatment for her fear of birds, she's being emu-nised.

12/10/16 20:34:47

Do not be frightened Shirley, come on step out of the closet... --Andrea Hickling

Milk Tray.

27/10/15 9:41:25

creative

Must write capt...ZzZzZzZzZzZzZ.....

08/10/15 12:00:12

I think I've just got the joke - only took me about seven hours - doh! --Tony Busby

"I can't get an word in edgeways with that new intern, he's very self centred, it's all me me me..."

29/09/15 12:01:32

Three Piss Suite.

11/07/15 12:16:22

In the Mood for Louvre.

05/07/15 13:10:47

The Moaner Lisa.

05/07/15 13:09:59

Imp prison.

05/07/14 20:16:49

"No, I don't think you're overdressed - anyway we're in Pamplona, who's going to notice?"

25/06/14 12:14:45

I really like the way this caption fits the picture...the man distracted saying the line while the woman is noticing a cloud of dust coming closer. ;-) --Guideaux

The First Knives Club.

23/04/14 8:59:36

Asses to Ashes.

01/06/13 8:25:49

Motorviking.

28/02/13 12:55:13

Letterhead

15/01/20 12:09:42

"Is that a limited edition Mega-Mini-Milk?"

17/12/19 20:32:13

lol

Pooh Sticks

05/12/19 20:15:29

It does --Mr Dome

"We offer this bamboo so that you will spare our village, o Mega Panda"

12/04/19 9:23:57

creative

Unlike suckling pig there's no apple in the mouth, only a charred tennis ball.

01/02/19 20:56:26

"I knew £1 was too good to be true for a cheap flight."

10/12/18 12:06:33

"Quick Rambo, stop it before it starts an earthquake on the other side of the world!"

10/12/18 8:08:04

Crows, but no cigar.

28/07/18 8:14:25

creative

Harriet was armed with Pepe spray.

27/02/18 8:16:32

"If a chicken can do it, I'm sure we can."

02/02/18 8:26:42

The bear was drawn into the campsite.

11/10/17 12:56:19

"What are you listening to?"
"Rock"

04/10/17 8:57:22

Noddy Boulder, formerly with Slayed? --Vivvy En

creative

♫ When the chef takes your eyes for a big pizza pie. That's a-gory ♫

05/11/16 9:07:17

Taste the Rainbow.

10/06/16 12:00:14

"No sir, we weren't part of the food fight."

08/04/16 21:32:32

Finished reading the Terms & Conditions yet?

06/03/16 14:04:33

"It's good to squawk".

30/05/15 14:35:41

clever

Hare Force One.

02/03/15 12:21:05

They said they weren't going to keep me on hold for long...

25/02/15 13:07:01

No matter how hard Bruno tries, he still can't get his master to sit.

03/10/14 12:18:05

Look what's left.

30/07/14 12:43:04

All right. --John Glover

creative

The Wisdom of Heinzsite.

07/07/14 9:36:00

"How certain are you there's no pulse?"
"Dead Shore."

09/06/14 12:35:03

Gold Aged Pensioner.

14/04/14 12:04:29

For Christmas this year, Scrooge has treated himself to a bathplug from the Pound store.

07/11/13 12:26:18

Tomb Jones

30/10/13 12:06:38

The Smashed Pumpkins.

20/08/13 12:17:12

creative

Wrong flower. Cigarettes should go between tulips.

05/07/13 20:27:24

David was being cross-examined by his psychiatrist.

21/05/13 12:03:02

"Do you reckon if I blow into this end you'll inflate like a baboon?"

01/04/13 9:25:05

lol x2

"You want me to climb up the Empire State Building and then get attacked by model planes? That's not in my bloody contract!"

22/01/13 12:30:22

Hand's Free.

09/08/14 13:15:27

Dobby is not a free elf.

20/07/14 12:01:01

There's a fault in the left lens of my x-ray specs.

09/07/14 12:11:43

Miced Tea.

05/07/14 12:00:18

Topiary Gear.

22/06/14 12:12:47

These weren't the topless models I was expecting.

07/06/14 20:01:09

"The cubicle was taken, Shitting Bull's in there."

22/04/14 12:14:13

They only come in sci fi and sci six.

19/11/13 12:17:38

Pillboard.

22/10/13 12:00:19

"Stop. Look. Listen. The invisible man's got to be somewhere around here, right?"

10/09/13 12:16:59

Noah was having a bad day in 'Waders of the Lost Ark'.

11/03/13 12:19:07

creative

Boobtube.

25/01/13 20:07:49

It reminds me of this sketch:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5SaCUFO0v8 --Paul Woolley

There must be easier things to suck through a straw

05/02/20 12:08:34

"No dragons around here, so I took on a Puma instead."

12/05/19 8:05:56

creative

clever

Polly got a lock cracker

07/04/19 12:16:41

Crocodile DoneLSD

25/11/18 12:04:09

"Getaway car broke down..."

30/09/18 8:51:33

Jawrex.

10/03/18 8:16:12

"I've had enough of the Piano Lover's Guide, can we try the Joy of Sax?"

25/10/16 12:26:57

clever

"Unfortunately ladies, all the falcons are sick today but I do have this trained bat."

19/04/16 12:12:14

"I only get calls on my ring finger."

28/01/16 12:41:28

Engineering work on the line today...they've sectioned the area off with cones.

07/08/15 10:48:11

When did the Nazis invade Poundland?

18/12/14 12:57:58

lol

The old squirting flower trick works every time.

31/01/20 8:34:44

I used to love those, lol --Vivvy En

Bonnet Appetit

16/11/19 8:00:22

Needs an E.

14/11/19 12:00:43

I think three lines would sort it out --Mr Dome

Well that backfired. I'll never try to smuggle a cat in my French horn case again.

04/11/19 20:26:38

That's what you call a C-flat! --Karyn Harrison

It's a protest, so they're being monitored by the police.

31/10/19 9:03:33

creative

"Hasta Da Vinci, baby."

22/08/18 20:33:45

Good one! --Sap Bakshi

The Hitched Guide to the Galaxy.

02/08/18 12:10:16

Stinging in the Rain.

14/03/18 8:17:45

"It's hot, I fancy a magnum."

20/11/17 20:51:39

Split Roasting

01/10/17 12:08:32

lol

Before TV, there were the Radiotubbies.

26/10/16 9:02:41

08/09/16 17:46:27

26/08/16 8:03:30

04/08/16 12:27:53

"There's nothing like homemade Pot Noodle, none of that processed rubbish."

08/04/16 12:04:12

25/02/16 20:03:09

31/01/16 12:22:56

14/04/15 10:25:47

17/02/15 12:03:46

"You know, I've always wanted to walk with humans."

12/11/14 20:09:44

His mother always told him not to pick at the scarabs on his face.

03/10/14 10:01:03

Ernie was fined for parking at a bus top.

21/09/14 12:35:43

This model includes Aries conditioning.

07/09/14 12:13:24

clever

"I'm sorry, but I'm leaving you..."
"So suddenly? Why?"
"...because there's a vacant table, I don't know you."

03/09/14 13:10:15

They'd been going steady for some time.

16/06/14 13:04:26

Dangerous when wet.

28/05/14 12:36:35

The Maiming of the Shrew.

22/05/14 12:19:11

Finding Nemo - "There he is!" - The End.

26/04/14 20:24:56

I see 'anon' has now deleted their comment (which was fishing for my supervote donations for anyone who didn't see it). --Tracy Davidson

♫ Now I'm the king of the swingers...♫

13/03/14 12:00:39

"It's alright, my wife knows that tonight I'm twerking late."

10/02/14 12:04:19

"...something borrowed, something black and blue".

10/01/14 12:04:33

"Do anything wrong and you're grounded mister."

29/07/13 12:05:39

The vampire was surprised at how game they were.

15/06/13 20:21:38

lol

The bouquets favourite to win the Tour de France.

03/05/13 10:46:45

Hand Summers.

30/03/13 12:21:03

Taxiderby.

13/02/13 12:36:22

Daniel was running late for his audition on 'Throwing Stars In Their Eyes'.

29/01/13 8:09:16

The lizard was overjoyed after finding an ostrich egg.

26/03/20 8:11:10

Throw darts and win a fish, what could possibly go wrong?

13/02/20 8:35:58

09/02/20 12:16:18

09/02/20 9:11:54

29/01/20 8:29:14

My money's on the Liddell guy. --Karyn Harrison

"Do you remember years ago when you were a puppy, you would gnaw on a stick all day long? - Yes, I was that stick."

29/12/19 12:06:23

Reminded me of https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0526717/ --Jack Joyce

"I say we join forces. He sold me for magic beans, you say you were abducted for your gold eggs?"

20/08/19 12:05:28

They did say that cat scans can be dangerous.

17/08/19 12:15:22

lol

Barking Bad

22/03/19 12:26:58

"This is a turn up for the books" said the giant fly as he stared into his coffee.

26/02/19 8:22:04

"Casper, I can tell it's you. Now stop flashing."

06/10/18 12:12:06

Codfael

26/02/18 20:26:44

"What a sight. You've just missed that huge stampede of wildebeest."

20/02/18 20:48:27

Dave took up cycling. Now he's hooked.

06/01/18 9:20:03

lol

Drambi.

14/12/17 21:10:31

creative

"Peter, just because you can't age doesn't mean you're immune to chlamydia"

27/11/17 9:14:15

Sally's finished admiring Banksy's "The Easiest Rubik's Cubes in the World".

12/10/16 8:13:24

That's a real off-the-wall caption! --Pussy Galore

I Want to Hold Your Hand Brake.

29/08/16 20:01:18

creative

At least having a poltergeist solved one problem, the mice are dead.

19/08/16 8:14:28

Check pint Charlie.

08/08/16 20:52:32

They go with my fish nets.

07/06/16 10:59:28

lol

It's a particularly dodgy step.

14/04/16 8:36:57

Sheep gather for the annual bonfire effigy burning.

18/11/15 20:27:20

Still better than Nicholas Cage's 'Wicker Man' though. --Michael Monkhouse

"I thought I'd give the inspector a chance to look inside a Volkswagen plant..."

15/10/15 12:42:48

Today on "The World's Dumbest Criminals", this thief casually tries to walk out of a library.

28/09/15 14:18:21

Edvard Munch's "The Cream".

07/09/15 12:49:48

Men must get caught short here.

19/08/15 9:32:05

Well if you're going to have iced doughnuts on your arse, of course I'm going to look.

22/04/15 12:01:02

I can only see the buns --John Llamas

Dave considered eating the Mega Babybel, although unwrapped and having long surpassed the five second rule.

11/03/15 12:32:15

Charlie's Anglers

05/02/15 12:00:13

"This is fascinating, every two knocks someone shouts out "Who's there?"

13/11/14 12:12:23

The AA repairman of Sleepy Hollow.

19/10/14 12:55:04

In case the can explodes, they've got high fizz clothing on.

15/09/14 10:09:46

"No boy, that's not how to rear chickens."

02/09/14 9:44:04

Atlantic City.

21/08/14 10:30:08

more captions

last comments (total: 146)

Drat, forgot to vote on this photo. Sorry Glyn, love this caption.

Stephen Bean

22/02/20
2:31pm

comment on caption:
Run out of glasses? Don't have a corkscrew? Easy - saw the bottom of the bottle and enjoy! [Glyn Evans]

James and The Wolf, you guys crack me up. Thanks for some laughs to brighten up another rainy day. Maybe you should write a sequel to Peter and the Wolf, James and the Wolf.

Stephen Bean

22/02/20
3:40pm

comment on caption:
Run out of glasses? Don't have a corkscrew? Easy - saw the bottom of the bottle and enjoy! [Glyn Evans]

Ah, Stephen who cares about votes? - You guys seemed to be having a right ball. Btw, as you can tell by the rapid response time, my finger's always on the pulse...erm...so I finally got round to checking my emails this morning.

Glyn Evans

25/02/20
10:36am

comment on caption:
Run out of glasses? Don't have a corkscrew? Easy - saw the bottom of the bottle and enjoy! [Glyn Evans]

Also unlucky to climb on it.

Willie Johnson

04/03/20
3:51pm

comment on caption:
They say it's unlucky to walk under a ladder, this one definitely. [Glyn Evans]

But I can read his mind. He's thinking: "If you don't get this stupid thing off me, I'm going to make vertical red stripes all up and down your face."

Willie Johnson

20/03/20
4:53pm

comment on caption:
It's such an adorable way to stop the government from reading your cat's mind... [Glyn Evans]

Are you blessed with the gift known as "cat scan"? Do you work for the government? If so, I better make all cat lovers within a three mile radius of your location aware that they must fit their cats with tin foil hats.

Glyn Evans

20/03/20
8:31pm

comment on caption:
It's such an adorable way to stop the government from reading your cat's mind... [Glyn Evans]

Well that's that knife smuggling operation foiled, turns out it was a half-arsed job.

Glyn Evans

27/03/20
12:32pm