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Glyn Evans

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lol x2

creative x3

Marital Arts

10/01/14 12:00:12

Or "Marital Kombat" :-) --Oli Blackwell

Dread Man Walking.

29/10/14 9:04:37

creative

"The milky bras are on me."

05/07/13 12:05:39

clever

The tortoise and the hair.

24/02/19 12:28:25

clever x2

"I don't know how I got burnt, I've had my sun screen on all day."

11/11/16 20:08:44

hahaha, took me some time.'sun screen' --sandeep chahal

clever

"It's not you, it's me. I need space."

23/10/16 12:16:15

lol

For some drivers, this makes no fucking difference.

31/01/14 8:13:20

Plaque Beauty

11/01/13 12:11:03

"The ad did say "For Sale: Remote TV..."

15/05/19 12:06:47

21/08/18 8:37:02

05/10/16 20:29:28

"Time for payback. Let's see how Goldilocks likes it."

05/08/18 12:01:39

"I prefer this. I find Oral Bee stings a little."

29/05/18 20:25:05

Cross dresser.

12/02/14 20:06:46

Derrick showed off his werewolf tattoo which can only be seen during a full moon.

03/06/13 9:58:31

...at the South Pole? --Ross Davidson

Converse with the dead

19/02/21 8:09:44

creative

What the hell did that seagull eat?

30/05/19 8:02:24

I imagine he has a spare tyre.

27/09/18 12:10:05

lol x2

Crutches won't stop Eric from doing the long jump.

02/04/16 13:10:04

Tripping on the stairs.

02/06/15 12:39:19

From the Ann Winters catalogue.

19/09/14 12:33:35

Bob couldn't stand the new perfume his wife was wearing - Channel No.5.

18/03/14 10:34:17

Sophie had a sphere headache.

02/12/13 12:01:55

"- and that's a beautiful save by the goatkeeper."

29/04/13 8:31:13

"It's alright Mum, you push, I'll catch my sister"

18/02/21 8:25:23

lol x2

creative

"This silver hand came out the sky, pointed me out and said "It's you". I thought I'd won the lottery but all it did was f**k up my brolly."

07/10/16 8:24:31

You beat me to this caption by like 10 seconds :) Nice one. Very creative! --Greg Curtis

"Stop picking at your food."

03/10/15 13:24:42

lol

Although the mugger was dressed as Batman, the victim identified the assailant as "that Robin bastard."

02/12/14 13:26:25

lol

"You scratch my back, and I'll comb yours"

14/08/20 8:04:33

creative

What a zombie sees.

29/07/18 20:32:34

Runs like cluckwork.

23/02/18 9:12:27

"I guarantee with our law firm, we can get you custardy."

30/03/16 12:39:26

"Warning. This program contains flushing images."

06/03/16 14:11:59

Bedrock has finally got a McDonalds.

23/01/16 12:18:22

Sample Menu.

15/07/15 20:00:25

creative x2

"You pulled the same shit with the three bears, but not with us. Get out of our house."

20/06/14 12:21:34

Turnip the volume.

12/06/14 12:05:38

Spawn off shotgun.

17/04/14 12:00:34

Walking the Plonk.

26/03/14 20:06:42

"I can't believe Hillary forgot the flag."

24/02/14 12:03:10

The missing consignment of Viagra is finally found; the perpetrator misread the instructions trying to get a stiff duck.

28/01/14 8:10:52

I would have fed it to the chickens, then I might have got a stiff Cock. --Neil Mackenzie

04/05/13 12:07:02

15/07/14 12:23:45

15/06/14 12:31:44

24/04/14 9:44:54

"I can never see my feet in milk. It's almost as if I lactose."

29/01/14 12:12:47

Daryl was in continent.

16/08/13 8:29:51

Delay Misérables.

17/04/13 9:13:42

Love comes naturally, don't faucet.

21/03/13 12:05:27

Chimp My Ride

28/01/13 12:13:48

There must be a release of pharaohmones

20/04/21 8:02:29

"Waiter, waiter there's a hare in my cabbage"

07/04/21 20:02:24

I was tempted as "soup's" the most associative with that old joke but I decided to stick with cabbage --Glyn Evans

What's the most dangerous activity that a Snowman can do? - Summer salting

06/04/21 8:06:09

lol

Everyone on The Magic Roundabout gets busted after Dougal joins the Drugs Squad.

15/11/20 12:00:16

clever

They're collector items

02/04/20 8:04:38

The patina adds value. --Scrijjy Doo

"I never knew ice creams could read" said Sister Sofia

15/02/20 20:20:47

clever

Jesus was always surrounded by twelve figures.

14/12/19 8:07:12

That darn fox

13/09/19 8:00:19

He's a bloody so-and-so --Mr Dome

"At least I don't see dead people any more."

10/06/19 8:41:12

"Gonna do the Monster Mash?"

05/05/19 12:09:02

Thorchestra

17/04/19 20:08:57

lol

...CA

06/02/19 12:11:18

Hmm. But if it was that, there would only be two dots before the letters, not three, surely? --Molly R

Any garlic braid?

03/01/19 13:05:32

lol

Snack my bitch up.

13/07/16 14:33:12

My fridge is on the blink.

15/04/16 20:26:04

Even though it was my birthday, Harry obviously wanted me to comment on his new blazer.

01/07/15 12:43:06

"And it's goodnight from me..."

17/12/14 22:11:32

It looks like that bloody javelin thrower's back.

25/05/20 14:19:30

lol

"You see that?"
"Yeah"
"It's the corner of the picture."

02/05/20 12:01:16

clever

"Is that a Trench coat?"

24/11/18 9:01:55

Vitamin C World

26/07/18 20:37:35

Shirley's getting treatment for her fear of birds, she's being emu-nised.

12/10/16 20:34:47

Do not be frightened Shirley, come on step out of the closet... --Andrea Hickling

Milk Tray.

27/10/15 9:41:25

creative

Must write capt...ZzZzZzZzZzZzZ.....

08/10/15 12:00:12

I think I've just got the joke - only took me about seven hours - doh! --Tony Busby

"I can't get an word in edgeways with that new intern, he's very self centred, it's all me me me..."

29/09/15 12:01:32

Three Piss Suite.

11/07/15 12:16:22

In the Mood for Louvre.

05/07/15 13:10:47

The Moaner Lisa.

05/07/15 13:09:59

Imp prison.

05/07/14 20:16:49

"No, I don't think you're overdressed - anyway we're in Pamplona, who's going to notice?"

25/06/14 12:14:45

I really like the way this caption fits the picture...the man distracted saying the line while the woman is noticing a cloud of dust coming closer. ;-) --Guideaux

The First Knives Club.

23/04/14 8:59:36

Asses to Ashes.

01/06/13 8:25:49

Motorviking.

28/02/13 12:55:13

"Best out of five? - You're not very good at this arm wrestling, Doc"

23/02/21 20:00:32

Purrlesque

11/02/21 12:10:10

lol

E.T. made it just in time.

29/11/20 8:13:12

Letterhead

15/01/20 12:09:42

"Is that a limited edition Mega-Mini-Milk?"

17/12/19 20:32:13

lol

Pooh Sticks

05/12/19 20:15:29

It does --Mr Dome

"We offer this bamboo so that you will spare our village, o Mega Panda"

12/04/19 9:23:57

creative

Unlike suckling pig there's no apple in the mouth, only a charred tennis ball.

01/02/19 20:56:26

"I knew £1 was too good to be true for a cheap flight."

10/12/18 12:06:33

"Quick Rambo, stop it before it starts an earthquake on the other side of the world!"

10/12/18 8:08:04

Crows, but no cigar.

28/07/18 8:14:25

creative

Harriet was armed with Pepe spray.

27/02/18 8:16:32

"If a chicken can do it, I'm sure we can."

02/02/18 8:26:42

The bear was drawn into the campsite.

11/10/17 12:56:19

"What are you listening to?"
"Rock"

04/10/17 8:57:22

Noddy Boulder, formerly with Slayed? --Vivvy En

creative

♫ When the chef takes your eyes for a big pizza pie. That's a-gory ♫

05/11/16 9:07:17

Taste the Rainbow.

10/06/16 12:00:14

"No sir, we weren't part of the food fight."

08/04/16 21:32:32

Finished reading the Terms & Conditions yet?

06/03/16 14:04:33

"It's good to squawk".

30/05/15 14:35:41

clever

Hare Force One.

02/03/15 12:21:05

They said they weren't going to keep me on hold for long...

25/02/15 13:07:01

No matter how hard Bruno tries, he still can't get his master to sit.

03/10/14 12:18:05

Look what's left.

30/07/14 12:43:04

All right. --John Glover

creative

The Wisdom of Heinzsite.

07/07/14 9:36:00

"How certain are you there's no pulse?"
"Dead Shore."

09/06/14 12:35:03

Gold Aged Pensioner.

14/04/14 12:04:29

For Christmas this year, Scrooge has treated himself to a bathplug from the Pound store.

07/11/13 12:26:18

Tomb Jones

30/10/13 12:06:38

The Smashed Pumpkins.

20/08/13 12:17:12

creative

Wrong flower. Cigarettes should go between tulips.

05/07/13 20:27:24

David was being cross-examined by his psychiatrist.

21/05/13 12:03:02

"Do you reckon if I blow into this end you'll inflate like a baboon?"

01/04/13 9:25:05

lol x2

"You want me to climb up the Empire State Building and then get attacked by model planes? That's not in my bloody contract!"

22/01/13 12:30:22

Hand's Free.

09/08/14 13:15:27

Dobby is not a free elf.

20/07/14 12:01:01

There's a fault in the left lens of my x-ray specs.

09/07/14 12:11:43

Miced Tea.

05/07/14 12:00:18

Topiary Gear.

22/06/14 12:12:47

These weren't the topless models I was expecting.

07/06/14 20:01:09

"The cubicle was taken, Shitting Bull's in there."

22/04/14 12:14:13

They only come in sci fi and sci six.

19/11/13 12:17:38

Pillboard.

22/10/13 12:00:19

"Stop. Look. Listen. The invisible man's got to be somewhere around here, right?"

10/09/13 12:16:59

Noah was having a bad day in 'Waders of the Lost Ark'.

11/03/13 12:19:07

creative

Boobtube.

25/01/13 20:07:49

It reminds me of this sketch:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5SaCUFO0v8 --Paul Woolley

Now children, this is what happens if you swallow too much bubble gum.

13/12/20 12:10:54

creative

Bee-day parties, there's always one poor bastard that has to blow up the decorations...

24/11/20 13:43:10

Do not cross me

20/11/20 12:00:32

A Shot in the Dark

27/09/20 12:08:47

"Quickly kids, escape! The Sith are doing their light sabre synchronized swimming again"

29/07/20 20:20:26

Team captain is Darth Wader. --James Lennox

Tat Boy Slim

20/05/20 20:07:12

That's quite a ventriloquist act

08/05/20 20:00:37

I can see her lips moving. --Scrijjy Doo

"That's the last time I ask you to change a light bulb."

27/04/20 12:21:38

There must be easier things to suck through a straw

05/02/20 12:08:34

"No dragons around here, so I took on a Puma instead."

12/05/19 8:05:56

creative

clever

Polly got a lock cracker

07/04/19 12:16:41

Crocodile DoneLSD

25/11/18 12:04:09

"Getaway car broke down..."

30/09/18 8:51:33

Jawrex.

10/03/18 8:16:12

"I've had enough of the Piano Lover's Guide, can we try the Joy of Sax?"

25/10/16 12:26:57

clever

"Unfortunately ladies, all the falcons are sick today but I do have this trained bat."

19/04/16 12:12:14

"I only get calls on my ring finger."

28/01/16 12:41:28

Engineering work on the line today...they've sectioned the area off with cones.

07/08/15 10:48:11

When did the Nazis invade Poundland?

18/12/14 12:57:58

"Paul, are you going to leave him hanging? - I'd give him five otherwise he'll rip your arm off"

21/09/20 12:00:25

Totally missed opportunity for a water feature.

01/08/20 8:14:30

"Now watch carefully as I break out of this finger hold. Karate chop!"

29/04/20 20:09:12

lol

The old squirting flower trick works every time.

31/01/20 8:34:44

I used to love those, lol --Vivvy En

Bonnet Appetit

16/11/19 8:00:22

Needs an E.

14/11/19 12:00:43

I think three lines would sort it out --Mr Dome

Well that backfired. I'll never try to smuggle a cat in my French horn case again.

04/11/19 20:26:38

That's what you call a C-flat! --Karyn Harrison

It's a protest, so they're being monitored by the police.

31/10/19 9:03:33

creative

"Hasta Da Vinci, baby."

22/08/18 20:33:45

Good one! --Sap Bakshi

The Hitched Guide to the Galaxy.

02/08/18 12:10:16

Stinging in the Rain.

14/03/18 8:17:45

"It's hot, I fancy a magnum."

20/11/17 20:51:39

Split Roasting

01/10/17 12:08:32

lol

Before TV, there were the Radiotubbies.

26/10/16 9:02:41

08/09/16 17:46:27

26/08/16 8:03:30

04/08/16 12:27:53

"There's nothing like homemade Pot Noodle, none of that processed rubbish."

08/04/16 12:04:12

25/02/16 20:03:09

31/01/16 12:22:56

14/04/15 10:25:47

17/02/15 12:03:46

"You know, I've always wanted to walk with humans."

12/11/14 20:09:44

His mother always told him not to pick at the scarabs on his face.

03/10/14 10:01:03

Ernie was fined for parking at a bus top.

21/09/14 12:35:43

This model includes Aries conditioning.

07/09/14 12:13:24

clever

"I'm sorry, but I'm leaving you..."
"So suddenly? Why?"
"...because there's a vacant table, I don't know you."

03/09/14 13:10:15

They'd been going steady for some time.

16/06/14 13:04:26

Dangerous when wet.

28/05/14 12:36:35

The Maiming of the Shrew.

22/05/14 12:19:11

Finding Nemo - "There he is!" - The End.

26/04/14 20:24:56

I see 'anon' has now deleted their comment (which was fishing for my supervote donations for anyone who didn't see it). --Tracy Davidson

♫ Now I'm the king of the swingers...♫

13/03/14 12:00:39

"It's alright, my wife knows that tonight I'm twerking late."

10/02/14 12:04:19

"...something borrowed, something black and blue".

10/01/14 12:04:33

"Do anything wrong and you're grounded mister."

29/07/13 12:05:39

The vampire was surprised at how game they were.

15/06/13 20:21:38

lol

The bouquets favourite to win the Tour de France.

03/05/13 10:46:45

Hand Summers.

30/03/13 12:21:03

Taxiderby.

13/02/13 12:36:22

Daniel was running late for his audition on 'Throwing Stars In Their Eyes'.

29/01/13 8:09:16

"Here we have a picture of my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandmother" said the giraffe.

18/04/21 8:17:53

Great caption. --Karen Oakenfull

"There's not even enough room in here to swing a cat..."

17/04/21 12:02:06

Nice one Glyn. I did a longer version and completely forgot about it until I saw yours, which was better anyway. --Stephen Bean

"Heel!"

25/03/21 20:00:14

They really go the extra mile when they conduct bra durability tests

10/02/21 20:12:02

For ladies with mammoth breasts. --Karyn Harrison

"WTF?!!! That tiddlywink shot was amazing. Where did it go?"

09/01/21 12:51:30

"What!? She was really a tomato?"

13/10/20 20:21:22

Lol. I like the addition of Egg and Chips plant. I wonder what others they'll come up with? --Glyn Evans

It's a very exclusive club, just ask the bouncers.

14/08/20 12:03:35

Or the bounders. --Willie Johnson

"Is there something up Spongebob? You don't look as animated as you do usually"

09/08/20 20:18:31

The Canterbury Trails

20/04/20 12:31:34

"...and this is my impression of a dog panting"

19/04/20 12:01:07

"That curry was hot"

06/04/20 20:31:20

The lizard was overjoyed after finding an ostrich egg.

26/03/20 8:11:10

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last comments (total: 295)

Great comment Karen.

Karyn Harrison

18/04/21
2:49pm

comment on caption:
"Here we have a picture of my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandmother" said the giraffe. [Glyn Evans]

And the fun doesn't stop there folks, in "Carry On Disappearing", the IRA wreak havoc again when they forget where all the bodies of their remaining "disappeared" are buried.

"I told you that we should've marked those graves, now we have no idea where they are, this countryside looks all alike to me, what do we tell the families now?"

"We'll wait for the right occasion, I mean it was a stroke of genius reminding that English Queen Liz that we murdered her cousin after she's just lost her husband, we'll have to think of something equally emotionally sensitive, how about we wait twenty odd years to tell the families where their loved ones are buried?"

"That's an excellent idea. Hold on, haven't we already waited twenty odd years?"

Glyn Evans

20/04/21
10:57am

comment on caption:
It's like when the "Sorry about Mountbatten" cake arrived at Phillip's funeral after a series of hilarious misunderstandings. The "Carry On IRA" film gets released later this year, with all of your regular favourites! [Glyn Evans]

Nice one Glyn. I did a longer version and completely forgot about it until I saw yours, which was better anyway.

Stephen Bean

20/04/21
1:01pm

comment on caption:
"There's not even enough room in here to swing a cat..." [Glyn Evans]

"The Holidays are Cumming...The Holidays are Cumming...The Holidays are Cumming...Always Choke-a-Cola"

"It's important that in a decent consumer-friendly society we don't discuss sex or how we use sex to dress up products, otherwise we might notice it in all of the potentially subliminal advertising."

"That's an outrageous suggestion! Sex doesn't sell! People always want to buy our wonderful products, they don't need advertising. Anyway, I'm going shopping"

"Products, getting any?"

Glyn Evans

20/04/21
8:19pm

comment on caption:
During winter, Santa takes over. [Glyn Evans]

Meanwhile, in 2005's "Carry On Colluding", the UVF have also forgotten where their "disappeared" body is buried. As is always the case with a jolly rivalry between two sides of determined loveable rogues, the UVF might say that the IRA made them do it (and vice versa) because if the other side have gotten away with things, surely they're allowed to do it too and anyway it can't be that bad because the other lot have done it far more times. What hilarious hijinks are set to come next!

Glyn Evans

21/04/21
9:16pm

"I'm Spartacus!"

Glyn Evans

24/04/21
8:25am

comment on caption:
"I don't think the "I'm Spartacus" plan is going to work Spartacus, I have a feeling the Romans want us to take this lying down" [Glyn Evans]

"No, no I'm Spartacus!"

Glyn Evans

24/04/21
8:26am

comment on caption:
"I don't think the "I'm Spartacus" plan is going to work Spartacus, I have a feeling the Romans want us to take this lying down" [Glyn Evans]

"This is all very endearing guys, but not to put too much of a downer on things - I'm not Spartacus, my actual name's Brian. There was a bit of a mix up when everybody was calling for the welease of Woger, Woderick, Wodney, Thsamthson, Thsilasth and Thspartacusth"

Glyn Evans

24/04/21
8:42am

comment on caption:
"I don't think the "I'm Spartacus" plan is going to work Spartacus, I have a feeling the Romans want us to take this lying down" [Glyn Evans]

"If you think the Gents is bad you should see the Ladies, it's horrifying. Somebody's decorated the wall by dragging their arse along it and they've also used a used tampon as a magic marker"

Glyn Evans

03/05/21
3:12pm

comment on caption:
"I hate coming in here after the weekend."

On tonight's Channel 5 documentary "Gentlemen's Pissing Contests" we explore the only Gents toilet in the world that accommodates guys with bad aims. [Glyn Evans]

Imagine what could be worse? - Oh yeah, the offending Gents and the Ladies coming together and using the Unisex. The result would probably be something similar to the toilet from Trainspotting"

Glyn Evans

04/05/21
8:00am

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Glyn Evans

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