creative

He got fed up with just fetching balls.

28/02/19 12:51:44

The girls were on a site seeing tour.

13/08/14 20:00:15

creative

"It's incredible really, I only planted the bulb 3 weeks ago."

08/10/17 11:05:24

lol clever

Eventually all the tyres went down and Dave ended up with a block of flats.

13/10/16 12:00:20

Smokey and the one armed bandit.

05/10/14 20:05:19

It was just Emily’s luck to pick the horse on the carousel with loose nuts and bolts.

10/12/17 13:11:19

"Yeah my new camera is fantastic it's even got knight vision on it."

02/07/14 20:12:42

Foam alone.

14/02/13 8:51:31

Orville and Dean

08/03/14 13:17:23

lol

"Stop crying you big baby, i said how much to paint my front door and you said £50 so we shook on it".

28/01/13 20:01:35

Staff at the home encouraged Ethel to smoke because it helped to disguise the smell of piss.

11/01/13 20:32:27

Goes well with a coffee table.

26/09/18 16:06:30

clever x2

Bloody hell lady, look what you’ve done to my skull.”

27/08/18 14:23:16

lol creative

As hard as he tried Dave just couldn't cover up the fact that he was drunk as he went through customs.

13/08/17 9:43:53

"Mmmm that filled a hole."

01/09/16 12:16:32

Band On The Runs

30/03/16 20:14:33

Jimmy decided to have a go at the Pole Volt.

05/05/13 12:53:49

Out of Action Man

29/04/13 20:14:29

Post Notel Depression.

24/04/13 8:19:57

"Quick Maureen this looks like a good deal, nip home and get our other kids".

31/01/13 8:10:53

Arnold Short-snigger

18/05/13 20:03:13

Julie was pleased with the shorts that Dave had got her for her birthday she just wished that he had nicked a pair with a smaller security tag on.

11/05/13 8:00:42

"No Mr Jenkins you put your keys in the fruit bowl and your snake comes out later."

27/03/13 12:00:17

The farmer hoped the Herbie-cides would solve the weed problem.

08/03/13 8:12:32

Smokey and the Bad-knits.

18/02/13 20:05:35

♫ Thai a yellow fellow round the old Oak tree ♫

06/02/13 12:00:13

lol

"Hurry up love i've got some soup to fall into".

15/01/13 20:04:54

Water Polo

01/11/14 12:00:30

Born into money.

05/08/18 20:13:38

Looks like it could kick off here.

23/06/18 12:40:13

Orckids

26/07/17 15:18:26

"Trust me honey we will get a sunbed today."

23/06/16 9:40:01

Sue was yet to master the rolling of a cigarette.

11/06/16 12:06:07

lol

Let's hope the next page isn't the honeymoon god knows what might pop up.

08/04/14 17:30:37

At these prices it's a snatch.

22/10/13 20:00:46

"I don't believe it this is the fifth Restaurant in a row that's got no Pizza they seem to be going down like Domino's."

10/10/13 20:00:14

After his mother died giving birth to him Neddy had to be hand reared.

07/07/13 11:23:53

"It's so fast it scares the crap out of me going round the bends."

02/06/13 12:10:32

This was the scene of a drive by muting.

02/04/13 12:11:50

They haven't got a Pot to Piss in.

18/03/13 12:02:51

All hands on Beck.

13/03/13 20:00:53

lol

"Dad i'm scared, there's a Bouncey Castle following us."

02/03/13 15:49:31

After plucking up the courage to come out of the closet Peter decided to put his lipstick on.

06/12/12 9:50:12

Chillettos

28/07/18 12:19:51

lol

Burn the other cheek.

14/09/16 12:09:01

Heavy Petting.

10/09/15 13:13:31

"Concentrate lads we don't want to go over the Handel bars again."

31/12/14 14:53:42

Dolly Mixtures

01/12/14 20:07:40

Whores drawn carriage.

22/10/14 20:08:57

Stay tuned for the next gripping episode.

05/09/14 12:04:21

"I'm thinking that you are still looking at my tits."

03/07/14 20:08:39

Dave always stopped for something to eat at quarter to three.

18/05/14 9:50:38

Tom was caught trying to steal a tree and was given a long stretch.

24/11/13 12:04:44

♫♫Oh I dalek to be beside the seaside.
Oh I dalek to be beside the sea.

09/10/13 8:06:16

Riding bareback was not good for his bullocks.

12/07/13 12:59:38

Postman Pat was just about to get fired.

10/06/13 8:04:31

Tufty had been enjoying Fursday and hadn't expected Fryday to come so quick.

23/05/13 15:11:54

When teased about his weight Tubby would grin and bare it.

23/04/13 20:00:09

Ugly duckring.

25/03/13 8:40:28

Antique road show.

30/09/14 12:08:14

"After reports from residents of someone looking through the windows Police have said they are looking for a peeping Tom."

04/06/13 20:15:47

"I find the public toilets here a little too public don't you Dave?"

24/04/13 12:17:18

His cousin smokes spliffs, he’s a grass snake.

31/10/18 0:45:46

“Bloody hell, trust Attenborough to turn up when I’m just about to take a shit.”

23/12/17 8:09:43

Dave was just about to drop a bollock.

20/10/16 20:32:52

creative x3

Gran shows off her drop kicking skills by booting young Sean straight onto the back of the quad bike.

24/08/16 8:29:27

A boot in the nuts is always painful.

08/08/16 12:26:22

"Just don't pull your finger out Dave until we reach the toilets."

08/06/16 12:13:37

creative

"And make sure the lid is on the biscuit jar Dave you know what that bloody cat is like."

16/02/16 20:13:18

It had taken ages but Dave had finally managed to shoe all the Pigeons away.

07/02/16 8:39:27

Kicking up a stink.

10/11/15 20:50:23

Guantanamo Bay Window.

14/04/15 13:52:19

clever

X-Pat

09/04/15 12:06:06

lol

Two of us can play this game thought Rex as he trotted off to do a shit on the front room carpet.

27/05/18 10:06:41

lol

“Hurry up son, I’m sure I heard someone drop a coin over there.”

14/01/18 16:14:27

Stacey couldn't hold her drink.

30/09/17 9:09:24

Mind the nap.

27/08/16 14:02:51

Postman Splat.

25/08/16 12:00:15

lol

"OMG! I'm a twin."

03/08/16 12:07:12

Tom proudly shows off his tattooed penis.

01/02/16 21:25:54

Ready for the dump.

21/10/15 13:07:14

Fat Jenny wasn't the only greedy bird in the restaurant.

24/08/15 14:27:05

Dave was pleased to get his teeth back and rewarded the finder with half a crown.

31/12/14 8:42:48

"Today children we will be looking through the arched window".

11/09/14 20:00:53

"Bloody hell the Newts grow big around here."

11/05/14 12:54:19

Steve was trying to build up Susan's confidence and make her a little boulder.

26/11/13 8:02:46

Sitting Image.

09/11/13 12:35:01

The straw that broke Carmel's back.

27/10/13 12:00:50

"The Chef assures me that this dessert is only for extinguished guests."

27/07/13 20:28:55

Shop Lift-her.

15/04/13 20:00:09

"Well Fuck me the lazy cow never even went shopping before she died"

13/03/13 12:01:22

Shell suits are all the rage in Liverpool.

17/12/18 12:53:47

Cue-slumber

28/08/18 9:43:32

“We must get some baby safe plug socket covers honey.”

26/06/18 13:19:52

*thinks* That should slow the tortoise down.

14/06/18 12:19:19

*Mrs Duck*....”He’s been like a new man ever since he started taking them Niagara tablets.”

04/02/18 20:02:54

"Oh no, someone's trashed my car."

08/12/17 15:25:42

creative clever

“So I take it you won’t be using the same babysitter again Mary?”

15/11/17 20:43:30

Glandelier

29/10/17 20:43:33

Cockshore

02/10/17 20:20:59

Wedgwoof

14/08/17 20:49:12

It was running fine until Dave put it into cruise control.

15/04/17 9:16:52

"Today we will be showing you how to make Ginger Cake."

23/01/17 13:41:20

VW recall cars after admitting that they forgot to put wheels on them.

19/10/16 12:00:14

"The key won't work, are you sure this is the right apartment Sally?"
"I'm not stupid Derek, they definitely said the yellow apartment next to the blue one."

08/10/16 14:02:45

lol

Shop owner Dave Cone was found dead behind the counter with raspberry sauce, nuts and hundreds and thousands on his head. Police have ruled out foul play and believe that he topped himself.

09/09/16 21:16:42

Steve's pranks were always a hoot.

30/08/16 12:02:01

"Yeah the front brakes work Dave."

12/06/16 12:17:51

clever

Jurgen had selected the 5p makeover.

19/03/16 8:31:31

"Mum someone's thrown a Johnny down the toilet."

09/03/16 20:19:59

Years of partying had taken its toll on Peter Swingfellow.

09/09/15 20:45:38

If Carlsberg did ladies lawnmowers.

15/05/15 12:48:10

lol

Trevor wasn't impressed when his mates swapped his beer for a bottle of piss.

18/04/15 12:03:53

"Well you did order a kids meal Dave."

01/04/15 20:01:04

Mahmood isn't good.

15/03/15 12:02:43

The latest model comes with air bags and extra hooters.

28/02/15 12:18:18

♬Wherever I lay my shat that's my home♬

26/02/15 14:24:48

lol

♪ ♪ That's suite that's suite that's suite that's suite
I really love your toilet seat, I really love your toilet seat

28/01/15 20:01:29

lol

Frogs porn.

30/12/14 12:09:36

Welcome to Wiltshire.

11/10/14 13:36:37

John's hobby was taking pictures of small lighthouses.

29/06/14 12:17:58

Concrete Jungle

17/05/14 11:04:43

"There's neigh chance I'm letting the vet put his hand up there ."

07/05/14 8:16:50

Sniff Sniff..."I think it's dogs piss Cynthia."

24/11/13 20:01:53

Marco was finding the transition from Skateboarder to Gondolier a hard habit to kick.

22/09/13 12:01:17

Tom took his own bag to the supermarket

10/09/13 20:09:04

"Dad i know you said that i shouldn't squeeze my spots but this one is becoming rather irritating."

17/05/13 8:04:36

"I'm so glad that you told me to wet my hands first Bob i was worried i would electrocute myself."

02/05/13 8:28:26

♫ ♫ Ping Pong Ping Pong
Ping Pong Ping Pong
Ping Pong iddle I po

03/04/13 8:12:46

Brahms and Liszt

30/03/13 8:00:10

"Hello , I am Brian from Nigeria and i am contacting you to tell you about a large sum of money that you have inherited and if you give me your bank details i will pay the money into your account for you."

07/03/13 17:04:39

Pope announces rewirement.

12/02/13 8:27:46

Steve took his spanking fetish to new heights.

02/01/13 8:22:27

Tom, Dick and Harry.

05/02/19 20:05:07

Motor Pike

06/01/18 9:43:51

“She’s in the garden playing, no I won’t let her get dirty and no I hadn’t forgot that we are going to your mothers.”

16/11/17 21:44:37

"People that wear their trousers like this infuriate me, it makes me want to give them a belt."

08/11/17 12:50:46

"I'm telling you lady forget Oreo, breakaway and join our club."

26/08/17 12:16:53

Dave was a romantic and knew how to treat a bird.

29/06/17 13:43:38

Sharon's days of being an Escort were over.

19/03/17 13:43:57

Getting the twins to count up to 4 million gave Dad plenty of time to watch the football before the game of hide and seek commenced.

08/02/17 12:00:21

Brake Dancing

29/01/17 12:02:41

"So what makes you so sure that your motor won't be broken into then Dave?"

08/01/17 2:38:14

Mind the clap.

13/11/16 12:21:44

A fetching picture.

06/10/16 8:22:59

lol

The dogs had been leading him a merry dance and he wasn't out of the woods yet.

01/10/16 12:17:15

"She went for the knife and I bricked it."

31/08/16 12:22:51

""Hello Betty this might sound like a silly question but did I leave my fishing rods in the kitchen by any chance?"

26/07/16 12:14:52

The Woolpack.

24/06/16 10:20:23

Looking out to see.

18/06/16 12:12:40

Susan and Steven share a kiss at the Halitosis Sufferers Christmas Party.

14/12/15 20:31:06

"Oh Oscar doesn't it look wonderful now that the bush has gone."

01/06/15 13:13:17

Steven's job for a catering company paid well but he hated coming home smelling of cheese and pineapple.

18/04/15 9:23:22

creative

"What makes you think she's had her food spiked Dave?"

29/03/15 20:09:42

"Oh shit! some fuckers boxed us in."

14/02/15 10:14:05

T-rexaco

02/02/15 20:00:12

Saucers apprentice.

31/10/14 12:11:04

After throwing the ball back 10 times Lucy was starting to think that her 75 year old neighbour Bob was kicking it into her garden on purpose.

02/08/14 8:44:12

If these two get it on there could be Shere Khan-age.

20/06/14 12:10:03

"One of my wife's better efforts with a camera, usually she cuts the whole of my head off."

14/03/14 23:00:14

Police have said the bank robber had a stocking over his head but they believe he looks something like this.

24/07/13 20:09:39

Tom was finding his new rucksack a touch too heavy.

02/07/13 8:52:48

"Mum i think Dad's been on the Brandy he's put the washing up in the fish tank again."

25/04/13 12:07:25

Tom took his new porch out for its first drive.

31/03/13 20:01:04

"This time you haven't got to rush off back to your soup dear we can just pop in Johnny's Bistro I hear the custard is wonderful"

21/03/13 8:27:57

"What do you mean it hurts ? what are you a Man or a Mouse"?

20/03/13 12:13:21

Weston super Mare.

18/03/13 8:59:11

"I sowed a few seeds 30 years ago and ended up with this SonFlower".

02/02/13 13:09:05

Your wrong its not a Japanese tourist down there its a Camera-kazee pilot

30/12/12 12:31:01

The new Scouse Burger comes complete with free shell suit.

29/12/12 20:00:11

"Come on love get back on and i promise i wont fart again."

10/12/12 13:31:04

Sawdid

06/07/14 8:40:03

"Be careful boys it might kick off in a minute this lot coming up the street can be a bit howdy."

05/06/14 9:03:38

creative

Susan's right arm was so long she could put it behind her back and scratch her friends chin while she stood around the corner.

27/05/14 20:17:40

"Come on you lazy sods get kicking them feet or we will be here all day."

30/12/13 12:05:05

Cyclists were asked to dismount and keep an eye out for a large Albino Python that has recently escaped.

07/12/13 12:44:03

From left to right...Doe Ray Me

03/11/13 20:03:43

The Great British Take Off.

02/11/13 20:00:08

The girls were from the without skirts of town.

26/10/13 8:26:06

Dave had a dump in the woods.

24/09/13 8:41:52

Larry the Sham.

25/07/13 14:54:04

creative

Ermintruders

21/07/13 20:00:12

"Don't take this the wrong way Dave but how long have you had tits?"

10/07/13 20:00:10

"When the Police told me that I would be transported there by a Panda I hadn't quite envisaged this."

10/07/13 12:03:45

"Ahh don't they look dalektable."

09/07/13 20:01:46

Water Repellent Man hadn't expected such a Frosty reception.

04/07/13 9:28:30

Bed and Bored.

03/07/13 12:00:37

"I won't shop in there anymore the last time I did it cost me an arm and a leg."

10/06/13 20:29:46

Dave splashed out on a new Aston Martin Lagoona.

02/06/13 20:05:08

Dave's mates had nicknamed him Wrigleys because he was always chewing gum.

29/05/13 9:01:03

"So is Stig your first name or your surname?"

21/05/13 20:11:02

creative

The worlds top ten hardest washes by Danny Dryer

03/05/13 12:49:06

"Dave if the Police catch you driving with that on your dashboard they will throw the book at you mate."

30/04/13 8:11:39

"Can i have a Wax Daniels and Coke please."

27/04/13 12:02:40

"Heidi asked for a lager top but i told her the top she was wearing fitted her just fine."

27/04/13 8:09:01

Lamb Plops

21/04/13 12:10:24

Hopalong Cassidy and the Fundance Kid

12/04/13 20:19:32

lol

Weathercock

07/04/13 10:01:40

creative

What fucker put chewing gum on the rail ? yelled a very wet Wendy.

04/04/13 20:06:17

Tony got a Frosty response.

28/03/13 12:00:55