creative

He got fed up with just fetching balls.

28/02/19 12:51:44

“Watch out Dave, the coppers are behind you.”

07/07/20 20:23:39

After eating a whole group of monkeys, Susan washed the feast down with a few beers.

28/10/19 20:13:45

The girls were on a site seeing tour.

13/08/14 20:00:15

Spongebob knew that getting home from the pub this late meant one thing, the wife was going to wipe the floor with him.

09/08/20 20:14:51

The Gee Gees

28/04/20 8:03:15

creative

"It's incredible really, I only planted the bulb 3 weeks ago."

08/10/17 11:05:24

lol clever

Eventually all the tyres went down and Dave ended up with a block of flats.

13/10/16 12:00:20

Smokey and the one armed bandit.

05/10/14 20:05:19

“Have you noticed that there hasn’t been a single car go through the safari park for a month or so?”
“Yeah it’s weird, we can’t even do any window shopping.”

24/04/20 8:44:06

lol

Cut the shit.

27/03/20 8:00:55

It was just Emily’s luck to pick the horse on the carousel with loose nuts and bolts.

10/12/17 13:11:19

"Yeah my new camera is fantastic it's even got knight vision on it."

02/07/14 20:12:42

Foam alone.

14/02/13 8:51:31

Orville and Dean

08/03/14 13:17:23

lol

"Stop crying you big baby, i said how much to paint my front door and you said £50 so we shook on it".

28/01/13 20:01:35

Staff at the home encouraged Ethel to smoke because it helped to disguise the smell of piss.

11/01/13 20:32:27

Being a naughty Teddy, this wasn’t the first time that he’d had a clip round the ear.

04/05/20 12:01:37

Goes well with a coffee table.

26/09/18 16:06:30

clever x2

Bloody hell lady, look what you’ve done to my skull.”

27/08/18 14:23:16

lol creative

As hard as he tried Dave just couldn't cover up the fact that he was drunk as he went through customs.

13/08/17 9:43:53

Captions are a bit like a box of chocolates. If you don’t get in early then normally all the best ones are gone.

03/11/19 20:42:26

As the bin juice ran down Dave’s leg, he paused and thought....fuck it why didn’t I try harder at school.

12/10/19 13:06:59

Gripping the shaft with one hand and the helmet with the other, brought back distant memories for Edna.

19/08/19 20:50:03

Tom Selleck is looking rough around the edges these days.

06/07/19 13:24:57

Til deaf do us part.

08/05/19 14:08:57

"Mmmm that filled a hole."

01/09/16 12:16:32

Band On The Runs

30/03/16 20:14:33

Jimmy decided to have a go at the Pole Volt.

05/05/13 12:53:49

Out of Action Man

29/04/13 20:14:29

Post Notel Depression.

24/04/13 8:19:57

"Quick Maureen this looks like a good deal, nip home and get our other kids".

31/01/13 8:10:53

Arnold Short-snigger

18/05/13 20:03:13

Julie was pleased with the shorts that Dave had got her for her birthday she just wished that he had nicked a pair with a smaller security tag on.

11/05/13 8:00:42

"No Mr Jenkins you put your keys in the fruit bowl and your snake comes out later."

27/03/13 12:00:17

The farmer hoped the Herbie-cides would solve the weed problem.

08/03/13 8:12:32

Smokey and the Bad-knits.

18/02/13 20:05:35

♫ Thai a yellow fellow round the old Oak tree ♫

06/02/13 12:00:13

lol

"Hurry up love i've got some soup to fall into".

15/01/13 20:04:54

“That’s great news mum that you managed to get some Turkey Dinosaurs and Alphabet Spaghetti for my dinner tonight, I’ve got to go now though , I’ve got a bank to manage.”

08/05/20 10:47:33

Water Polo

01/11/14 12:00:30

WARNING... SLIPPERY FLOOR

25/04/19 9:16:49

Born into money.

05/08/18 20:13:38

Looks like it could kick off here.

23/06/18 12:40:13

Orckids

26/07/17 15:18:26

"Trust me honey we will get a sunbed today."

23/06/16 9:40:01

Sue was yet to master the rolling of a cigarette.

11/06/16 12:06:07

lol

Let's hope the next page isn't the honeymoon god knows what might pop up.

08/04/14 17:30:37

At these prices it's a snatch.

22/10/13 20:00:46

"I don't believe it this is the fifth Restaurant in a row that's got no Pizza they seem to be going down like Domino's."

10/10/13 20:00:14

After his mother died giving birth to him Neddy had to be hand reared.

07/07/13 11:23:53

"It's so fast it scares the crap out of me going round the bends."

02/06/13 12:10:32

This was the scene of a drive by muting.

02/04/13 12:11:50

They haven't got a Pot to Piss in.

18/03/13 12:02:51

All hands on Beck.

13/03/13 20:00:53

lol

"Dad i'm scared, there's a Bouncey Castle following us."

02/03/13 15:49:31

After plucking up the courage to come out of the closet Peter decided to put his lipstick on.

06/12/12 9:50:12

“Do you fancy a Shag?”
“No, I’ve only got eyes for you honey.”

02/07/20 12:24:49

The humans round here are so lazy thought Tufty as he put the discarded slice of pizza into the bin.

31/05/20 12:07:59

“Dave if you slip and end up in hospital paralysed, would you like me to take care of your wife’s sexual needs?”

04/03/20 13:44:26

Souper Kings

28/08/19 12:00:33

Mounting Bikes

10/07/19 20:12:49

Chillettos

28/07/18 12:19:51

lol

Burn the other cheek.

14/09/16 12:09:01

Heavy Petting.

10/09/15 13:13:31

"Concentrate lads we don't want to go over the Handel bars again."

31/12/14 14:53:42

Dolly Mixtures

01/12/14 20:07:40

Whores drawn carriage.

22/10/14 20:08:57

Stay tuned for the next gripping episode.

05/09/14 12:04:21

"I'm thinking that you are still looking at my tits."

03/07/14 20:08:39

Dave always stopped for something to eat at quarter to three.

18/05/14 9:50:38

Tom was caught trying to steal a tree and was given a long stretch.

24/11/13 12:04:44

♫♫Oh I dalek to be beside the seaside.
Oh I dalek to be beside the sea.

09/10/13 8:06:16

Riding bareback was not good for his bullocks.

12/07/13 12:59:38

Postman Pat was just about to get fired.

10/06/13 8:04:31

Tufty had been enjoying Fursday and hadn't expected Fryday to come so quick.

23/05/13 15:11:54

When teased about his weight Tubby would grin and bare it.

23/04/13 20:00:09

Ugly duckring.

25/03/13 8:40:28

Antique road show.

30/09/14 12:08:14

"After reports from residents of someone looking through the windows Police have said they are looking for a peeping Tom."

04/06/13 20:15:47

"I find the public toilets here a little too public don't you Dave?"

24/04/13 12:17:18

clever

“Tiddles,Tiddles, wake up darling, you’re having a nightmare.”

20/08/20 20:00:15

Dave wasn’t going to be caught out by the trick or treaters again this year. He had prepared an exploding pumpkin full of cat shit to get his own back on the little blighters.

27/10/19 21:45:10

I go there for my anal holiday.

21/10/19 9:43:05

“Dave, are you sure that your mother has knitted jumpers before?”

02/07/19 20:49:14

His cousin smokes spliffs, he’s a grass snake.

31/10/18 0:45:46

“Bloody hell, trust Attenborough to turn up when I’m just about to take a shit.”

23/12/17 8:09:43

Dave was just about to drop a bollock.

20/10/16 20:32:52

creative x3

Gran shows off her drop kicking skills by booting young Sean straight onto the back of the quad bike.

24/08/16 8:29:27

A boot in the nuts is always painful.

08/08/16 12:26:22

"Just don't pull your finger out Dave until we reach the toilets."

08/06/16 12:13:37

creative

"And make sure the lid is on the biscuit jar Dave you know what that bloody cat is like."

16/02/16 20:13:18

It had taken ages but Dave had finally managed to shoe all the Pigeons away.

07/02/16 8:39:27

Kicking up a stink.

10/11/15 20:50:23

Guantanamo Bay Window.

14/04/15 13:52:19

clever

X-Pat

09/04/15 12:06:06

Passing bamboo wasn’t as easy as eating it.

05/07/20 20:10:54

lol

“They’ve been like this ever since my darling husband slammed the car door shut on them, on the plus side they are great for pleasuring myself with.”

25/03/20 15:39:14

The working conditions were tough, especially with the son on her back all day.

30/06/19 12:00:59

lol

Two of us can play this game thought Rex as he trotted off to do a shit on the front room carpet.

27/05/18 10:06:41

lol

“Hurry up son, I’m sure I heard someone drop a coin over there.”

14/01/18 16:14:27

Stacey couldn't hold her drink.

30/09/17 9:09:24

Mind the nap.

27/08/16 14:02:51

Postman Splat.

25/08/16 12:00:15

lol

"OMG! I'm a twin."

03/08/16 12:07:12

Tom proudly shows off his tattooed penis.

01/02/16 21:25:54

Ready for the dump.

21/10/15 13:07:14

Fat Jenny wasn't the only greedy bird in the restaurant.

24/08/15 14:27:05

Dave was pleased to get his teeth back and rewarded the finder with half a crown.

31/12/14 8:42:48

"Today children we will be looking through the arched window".

11/09/14 20:00:53

"Bloody hell the Newts grow big around here."

11/05/14 12:54:19

Steve was trying to build up Susan's confidence and make her a little boulder.

26/11/13 8:02:46

Sitting Image.

09/11/13 12:35:01

The straw that broke Carmel's back.

27/10/13 12:00:50

"The Chef assures me that this dessert is only for extinguished guests."

27/07/13 20:28:55

Shop Lift-her.

15/04/13 20:00:09

"Well Fuck me the lazy cow never even went shopping before she died"

13/03/13 12:01:22

Heavy petting.

10/09/20 12:00:40

That moment when you realise that you’ve done a bit more than just a fart.

28/08/20 12:56:16

British Smellycom

27/06/20 12:46:30

“On my head sun.”

05/06/20 12:00:13

Omg another female visitor thought baby David, I’ve got to go through that high pitched Coochy Coo bollocks again.

22/04/20 12:48:59

creative

I think it’s the lost rag that everybody talks about.

28/09/19 9:38:07

clever

If that’s a bun in the oven, you’re going to knead plenty of dough.

17/08/19 8:50:10

Shell suits are all the rage in Liverpool.

17/12/18 12:53:47

Cue-slumber

28/08/18 9:43:32

“We must get some baby safe plug socket covers honey.”

26/06/18 13:19:52

*thinks* That should slow the tortoise down.

14/06/18 12:19:19

*Mrs Duck*....”He’s been like a new man ever since he started taking them Niagara tablets.”

04/02/18 20:02:54

"Oh no, someone's trashed my car."

08/12/17 15:25:42

creative clever

“So I take it you won’t be using the same babysitter again Mary?”

15/11/17 20:43:30

Glandelier

29/10/17 20:43:33

Cockshore

02/10/17 20:20:59

Wedgwoof

14/08/17 20:49:12

It was running fine until Dave put it into cruise control.

15/04/17 9:16:52

"Today we will be showing you how to make Ginger Cake."

23/01/17 13:41:20

VW recall cars after admitting that they forgot to put wheels on them.

19/10/16 12:00:14

"The key won't work, are you sure this is the right apartment Sally?"
"I'm not stupid Derek, they definitely said the yellow apartment next to the blue one."

08/10/16 14:02:45

lol

Shop owner Dave Cone was found dead behind the counter with raspberry sauce, nuts and hundreds and thousands on his head. Police have ruled out foul play and believe that he topped himself.

09/09/16 21:16:42

Steve's pranks were always a hoot.

30/08/16 12:02:01

"Yeah the front brakes work Dave."

12/06/16 12:17:51

clever

Jurgen had selected the 5p makeover.

19/03/16 8:31:31

"Mum someone's thrown a Johnny down the toilet."

09/03/16 20:19:59

Years of partying had taken its toll on Peter Swingfellow.

09/09/15 20:45:38

If Carlsberg did ladies lawnmowers.

15/05/15 12:48:10

lol

Trevor wasn't impressed when his mates swapped his beer for a bottle of piss.

18/04/15 12:03:53

"Well you did order a kids meal Dave."

01/04/15 20:01:04

Mahmood isn't good.

15/03/15 12:02:43

The latest model comes with air bags and extra hooters.

28/02/15 12:18:18

♬Wherever I lay my shat that's my home♬

26/02/15 14:24:48

lol

♪ ♪ That's suite that's suite that's suite that's suite
I really love your toilet seat, I really love your toilet seat

28/01/15 20:01:29

lol

Frogs porn.

30/12/14 12:09:36

Welcome to Wiltshire.

11/10/14 13:36:37

John's hobby was taking pictures of small lighthouses.

29/06/14 12:17:58

Concrete Jungle

17/05/14 11:04:43

"There's neigh chance I'm letting the vet put his hand up there ."

07/05/14 8:16:50

Sniff Sniff..."I think it's dogs piss Cynthia."

24/11/13 20:01:53

Marco was finding the transition from Skateboarder to Gondolier a hard habit to kick.

22/09/13 12:01:17

Tom took his own bag to the supermarket

10/09/13 20:09:04

"Dad i know you said that i shouldn't squeeze my spots but this one is becoming rather irritating."

17/05/13 8:04:36

"I'm so glad that you told me to wet my hands first Bob i was worried i would electrocute myself."

02/05/13 8:28:26

♫ ♫ Ping Pong Ping Pong
Ping Pong Ping Pong
Ping Pong iddle I po

03/04/13 8:12:46

Brahms and Liszt

30/03/13 8:00:10

"Hello , I am Brian from Nigeria and i am contacting you to tell you about a large sum of money that you have inherited and if you give me your bank details i will pay the money into your account for you."

07/03/13 17:04:39

Pope announces rewirement.

12/02/13 8:27:46

Steve took his spanking fetish to new heights.

02/01/13 8:22:27

It’s not over til the fat lady swings.

11/06/20 20:02:08

“Chill Dave, it’s only a mouse.

03/06/20 12:17:22

At the hotdog stand Dave made the fatal mistake of asking for extra mustard.

02/04/20 12:00:17

Action figure had just found out that he had been made without a penis.

🎵You would cry too if it happened to you🎵

27/03/20 14:45:50

Boredom can be so sole destroying.

21/03/20 9:19:35

Posing for a picture like this, takes some guts.

11/03/20 21:22:14

“Dave, is that you?”

07/03/20 12:39:57

Dave had put his new jumper on.

01/02/20 13:09:17

This is how Bianca got Ricky wellard.

06/01/20 9:07:14

clever

Shoplifters will be persecuted.

25/11/19 21:19:42

High Four

03/09/19 20:00:16

Stan’s day had gone from bad to worse after the fourth dog pissed on his hair.

09/07/19 20:35:33

Tom, Dick and Harry.

05/02/19 20:05:07

Motor Pike

06/01/18 9:43:51

“She’s in the garden playing, no I won’t let her get dirty and no I hadn’t forgot that we are going to your mothers.”

16/11/17 21:44:37

"People that wear their trousers like this infuriate me, it makes me want to give them a belt."

08/11/17 12:50:46

"I'm telling you lady forget Oreo, breakaway and join our club."

26/08/17 12:16:53

Dave was a romantic and knew how to treat a bird.

29/06/17 13:43:38

Sharon's days of being an Escort were over.

19/03/17 13:43:57

Getting the twins to count up to 4 million gave Dad plenty of time to watch the football before the game of hide and seek commenced.

08/02/17 12:00:21

Brake Dancing

29/01/17 12:02:41

"So what makes you so sure that your motor won't be broken into then Dave?"

08/01/17 2:38:14

Mind the clap.

13/11/16 12:21:44

A fetching picture.

06/10/16 8:22:59

lol

The dogs had been leading him a merry dance and he wasn't out of the woods yet.

01/10/16 12:17:15

"She went for the knife and I bricked it."

31/08/16 12:22:51

""Hello Betty this might sound like a silly question but did I leave my fishing rods in the kitchen by any chance?"

26/07/16 12:14:52

The Woolpack.

24/06/16 10:20:23

Looking out to see.

18/06/16 12:12:40

Susan and Steven share a kiss at the Halitosis Sufferers Christmas Party.

14/12/15 20:31:06

"Oh Oscar doesn't it look wonderful now that the bush has gone."

01/06/15 13:13:17

Steven's job for a catering company paid well but he hated coming home smelling of cheese and pineapple.

18/04/15 9:23:22

creative

"What makes you think she's had her food spiked Dave?"

29/03/15 20:09:42

"Oh shit! some fuckers boxed us in."

14/02/15 10:14:05