best earliest latest latest and best captions

Fountain of Ewe-th

08/06/21 11:00:08

Trump has already proven he isn't cut out to be President.

06/06/21 11:05:05

"Bill, make sure you get a good photo of us."

06/06/21 7:38:57

Madonna swears by the holistic approach to diet and fitness. She still looks amazing at 130.

29/05/21 19:00:30

"Listen, can I call you back later? I'm up to my neck in it here."

28/05/21 19:01:03

"Those bugs have eluded me so far, but something tells me they're f#cking close."

25/05/21 19:47:45

"The monkeys will pay top dollar for this back window wiper"

25/05/21 11:13:06

"Don't be stupid of course I'm not blind I'm just looking after it for the ref."

25/05/21 7:11:35

clever

"The traffic's murder today."

20/05/21 19:11:04

"Why did you get red? I said I wanted a baloo one."

20/05/21 7:03:09

"Johnny, I've told you before. If you want to go to the toilet, just raise your hand"

18/05/21 11:01:13

"Call me old fashioned but do you have cheese and pineapple?"

14/05/21 19:00:13

Mast hysteria

13/05/21 19:16:58

It's the number 1 tourist attraction.

12/05/21 19:22:52

"I'll be back in a minute I'm just taking the bat for a walk."

11/05/21 19:05:19

Donna you were drunk last night.
No I wasn't.
OK explain why the oven ready chicken is outside the back door and the cat is in the fridge?

08/05/21 7:22:18

lol

"Are we there yet?"

07/05/21 19:12:02

''It looks like his winning streak is about to come to an end.''

29/04/21 7:35:59

Only one of the suspects was collared

25/04/21 19:12:48

"Go on, send Boris another text - he falls for it every time!"

25/04/21 8:09:34

These soldiers were unable to dodge the draft.

24/04/21 20:11:22

clever

"Hey, kids, have you seen my diamond ring? it was by the fairy liquid on the kitchen window sill."

23/04/21 7:30:21

Rock 'n' roll

21/04/21 19:00:07

creative

As Chester zoo reopens, staff discover a giraffe has penetrated the bearded dragon enclosure with amazing results.

18/04/21 7:04:11

lol

"Do you think this corsage is a bit much?"

16/04/21 11:19:31

"Excuse me love, can you move please? Doctor Who can't get out of his tardis."

11/04/21 7:31:26

Hello Mr Wolf can you tell the 3rd little pig we are going to be late with his delivery

09/04/21 7:10:58

It was designed by Jean Paul Goatier.

31/03/21 19:45:26

8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskies.

28/03/21 11:07:04

No honey I definitely ordered a leotard

26/03/21 22:20:05

lol

"Stop moaning, Dave, I carried her for 9 months. It's only another mile or so."

18/03/21 12:07:39

clever

Narcoleptics: never pass out in the drawing room.

11/03/21 15:09:39

lol

''I've got to go now. It's time for the midday caption.''

09/03/21 12:18:56

"We're not wearing anything Dave, but if you're shy come in your shorts."

"I have."

09/03/21 12:00:39

lol

May the force pee with you.

09/03/21 8:00:12

Yep. They've cleared off. Time to have some fun with the goldfish.

28/02/21 13:55:37

"I wouldn't mind a pair like that."

"Oh come off it Ermintrude! You'd look ridiculous in flip flops."

27/02/21 8:38:45

Has someone warned her about attracting the wrong sort of fellers?

26/02/21 20:00:39

Looks highly strung to me.

26/02/21 13:02:42

Miss Bee Haven

24/02/21 8:17:22

Fortunately the North Korean nuclear threat wasn't all it had been cracked up to be.

22/02/21 8:22:01

lol

"Hi darling, I'm going to be home late, a plane's just landed on the Motorway."
"For God's sake Steve, just say you're in the pub."

20/02/21 20:27:02

lol

"Get a broom!"

15/02/21 8:04:59

"For fucks sake Tiger! Just take a drop shot."

11/02/21 8:09:29

creative clever

That's my last drop off Noah you will have to send someone else back to pick up the Dodos

10/02/21 20:22:57

Don't look back in hunger

10/02/21 12:00:07

lol

Cocks and robbers

08/02/21 12:00:05

"Reverend Smith, sorry to bother you on your lunch break, there's a lady waiting to see you in the vestry"

05/02/21 12:00:11

"I see bread people."

04/02/21 8:00:20

Charlie's Angels

03/02/21 20:02:17

Foolout

29/01/21 12:02:40

Captioning while driving - so not worth £50

28/01/21 21:27:40

lol

Dave loved riding lightning rods during hurricanes. He did it well. We'll miss you Dave.

14/01/21 8:07:10

The fit controller

12/01/21 20:24:08

"I get it washed then some unicorn shits all over it!"

11/01/21 9:04:20

Your Ferrero Rocher Mr Gulliver

06/01/21 20:07:12

Everyone wanted to say something about Martin's background during the group call, but no one was brave enough to address the elephant in the Zoom.

31/12/20 8:47:17

The only mother in the UK who was hoping
for stricter lockdown regulations.

20/12/20 12:09:43

clever

LGBTQUEUE

20/12/20 12:06:25

'Hmmm, got the leotard sorted. Now to choose a workout DVD...'

15/12/20 8:49:44

Mini hands make light work.

12/12/20 8:00:35

clever

''Go to work on an egg.''

30/11/20 12:02:10

'Working from home hasn't affected me at all' Said Michael Jones, Director of Lloyds Bank.

25/11/20 8:36:44

When wasps start being attracted to your toilet seat, it's time to get tested for diabetes.

24/11/20 12:21:38

lol

The local Dungeons and Dragons club finally pluck up the courage to Google the word 'tits'...

12/11/20 12:00:15

''I'm so grateful you managed to unblock the sink.''

09/11/20 20:15:27

It's a wonder of nature how sunflowers always turn to face the camera.

08/11/20 20:09:23

That awkward moment when you're trying to appreciate the Mona Lisa, then your friend's black labrador starts licking your ear hole.

05/11/20 8:30:36

clever

Mike detects earth tremors pretty much everywhere he goes.

03/11/20 12:00:33

lol x2

"Normal people will see the outline of a vase in this picture, but the bedwetters will see two sheep".

02/11/20 15:54:10

lol x2 clever

The Dying Scotsman

01/11/20 13:20:19

lol

When you forget to put the bins out, hear the dust lorry outside and just try to move them by telekinesis instead.

30/10/20 21:40:12

"I tried that new barbers down the road yesterday"
- "Yeah, me too Dave"

30/10/20 12:04:33

lol

In a moment of magnificent inspiration Kevin and Julie saved themselves thirty quid for a babysitter and went out.

27/10/20 8:00:41

After a long match, play went to sudden death.

26/10/20 20:01:02

Tom and Dave think it's bloody hilarious nobody can go out clubbing anymore!

26/10/20 12:00:08

lol

How your cat would react if for some reason a fat strange man forced his way down your chimney...

24/10/20 7:21:09

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you'll be a Mannequin, my son!"

17/10/20 11:00:21

clever

"Quick, call the Peelers"

13/10/20 19:02:59

"Jane, when you said you had an affair whilst working at Monkey World, I presumed you meant with a member of staff"

13/10/20 7:00:24

It makes a change from watching repeats of Porridge.

08/10/20 11:23:56

lol

''Don't come running to me, if you fall off.''

04/10/20 19:35:59

Dear Mr Beach

cc Captioneers

I'm just writing to te you how much I enjoy your website, caption.me. I find it very entertaining and it rea y makes me augh.

I don't write very often as it takes me so
b oody ong on this typewriter. I'm saving up for a new one.

We , have a nice day.

Yours sincere y

anon

04/10/20 7:20:51

It's Stor-a-Mog, the exciting new cat storage unit! (Model shown is for illustration purposes only. Cats not supplied).

02/10/20 19:54:51

lol

"Now put your right foot in."
"Don't think I'm brave enough."
"My right leg needs oiling."
"Which one's my right?"

30/09/20 8:39:49

"Honey, remember how 9 months ago I told you I was abducted by aliens..."

29/09/20 7:03:18

clever

U and I

22/09/20 11:41:35

They had a boy. Greyam.

22/09/20 11:01:56

''Darling, when I said you could do with an extra few inches......''

22/09/20 7:25:40

lol

"Are you ok out there Dad? Sorry, I know it's freezing but we don't have a choice with social distancing. Anyway, where do you keep your biscuits?"

18/09/20 19:00:41

Ruff sketch

18/09/20 11:03:05

clever

🎵 Never store your superglue next to your eye drops 🎵

17/09/20 11:00:07

Inkongnito

16/09/20 11:17:08

creative

"I actually had a sex change after we had kids and I can tell you, it's not easy being a trans parent"

16/09/20 7:16:16

New ladybird edition the joy of sex

15/09/20 19:12:12

"Give us a really big wave!"

10/09/20 7:04:41

Spitting image

05/09/20 7:00:06

Early gurning centre

04/09/20 19:16:17

"A large shuttlecock has landed in the garden!"

"I thought I heard a racquet."

26/08/20 7:07:56