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♫ Never store your superglue next to your eye drops ♫
♫ Never store your superglue next to your eye drops ♫ photo | portfolio
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 11843Stephen Bean

♫ Never store your superglue next to your eye drops ♫

17/09/20 12:00:07

 1
That will make you sing the glues. --Willie Johnson
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11461Dave Bryan

CAPTION POSTING BLUES

''I woke up this morning,
logged on to caption.me.
Yes, I woke up this morning,
logged on to caption.me.
Though I'd posted twenty captions,
no one had voted for me.''

17/09/20 12:07:00

 2
Yes Willie. It's called a perfect rhyme. Other examples are "she" and "she ", "tractor" and "tractor", and "Pope Benedict" and "Pope Benedict". There are probably more, but that's all I can think of at the moment.  --James Lennox
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15318Dan Nicholls

Ahhh the old foreskin in the zip face.

17/09/20 12:13:17

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

"Just say if the lamp's too bright"

17/09/20 12:09:25

 1
Maybe he's singing it. --Willie Johnson
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 5206Chris Halliwell

Never store your Fiery Jack next to your Pile Cream. Nod to 12:00:07.

17/09/20 13:04:11

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9339Chris Keegan

Mark certainly added a new edge to 'Old Mcdonald Had A Farm' at the kids party.

17/09/20 12:00:22

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1813Willie Johnson

Dave believed if he could only squint hard enough, an audience would be there when he opened his eyes.

17/09/20 12:41:04

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9339Chris Keegan

"Next......"

17/09/20 12:03:13

 
C CaMel Vote score: 5950C CaMel

His latest release

17/09/20 13:16:22

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11843Stephen Bean

Bill's tendency to have spontaneous orgasms when he performed live was beginning to affect his career.

17/09/20 12:32:47

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8155The Wolf

"Bloody hell Terry, did you really have to stop the song half way through just so you could share that fart?"

17/09/20 12:06:30

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1391Al Overy

Rockstar 101 - only consort with overzealous groupies after you've finished playing.

17/09/20 12:02:31

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8155The Wolf

"Shut the f*ck up Dave, this is the instrumental version"

17/09/20 12:00:55

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8155The Wolf

A talented singer and guitarist, Tom also enjoyed playing with his organ...

17/09/20 12:00:10

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10190Mr Dome

Nooooo. My safe word was 'bite'

18/09/20 0:44:51

 
Ellen Duncalf Vote score: 107Ellen Duncalf

🎵 And I would do anything for love
I’d run right into hell and back
Yeah I would do anything for love
I’ll even have this sac and crack🎵

17/09/20 17:04:31

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6162James Lennox

When AI is developed, and robots take over the world, it's only natural that they'll force humans to perform felatio on them.

17/09/20 12:49:23

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8155The Wolf

"Will someone please wake him up? We're on in five minutes"

17/09/20 12:22:04

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8155The Wolf

It's never nice when you're singing and a wasp flies in your mouth.

17/09/20 12:11:22

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1391Al Overy

I know how he feels. I pulled the same face when I snapped my banjo string.

17/09/20 12:00:11

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23486Michael Winner

♫ I got those unwanted enema blues ♫

17/09/20 20:00:38

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11843Stephen Bean

Jizz singer

17/09/20 12:33:42

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4975Karyn Harrison

Pigeon gives Ozzy Osbourne a taste of his own medicine.

17/09/20 12:18:33

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15318Dan Nicholls

Steve loves singing old ad jingles. Here he is, giving us his best "WOHHHHHHH BODYFORM, BODYFORM FOR YOOOOOOOOOOU"

17/09/20 12:14:26

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

♪ Ooooooooooooklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain ♪

17/09/20 12:12:00

 
stone face Vote score: 8115stone face

"Oh yeah! Now that's what you call a groupie."

17/09/20 18:39:14

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11002Neil Mackenzie

It had to happen, they started to rewrite classics to reflect the modern world.
🎵 Swinging little guitar tran 🎵

17/09/20 16:44:22

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6400Vivvy En

Recording ARRRRtist

17/09/20 16:02:54

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2680Scrijjy Doo

Little Bitchard

17/09/20 14:39:33

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

..... "Tony! Did you put the bins out?"

17/09/20 14:37:17

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 686alexandra ball

The recording studio didn't like it and said shove it were the sun don't shine!

17/09/20 14:32:00

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10190Mr Dome

First time he's heard Little Mix

17/09/20 14:22:08

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11843Stephen Bean

"The best thing about being a singer is you get lots of blues jobs."

17/09/20 13:17:14

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1714Karen Oakenfull

Chad knew you should always put shoes on before stepping on an upturned plug, but he was far too Rock ‘n’ Roll for all that. He just threw the plug out the top floor window taking the amp and one of roadies with it.

17/09/20 13:13:14

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20862John Glover

Playing in his underwear was not such a good idea, especially when he had two labradors that are mad for cheese.

17/09/20 13:09:19

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13103Vanessa the Guesser

"Shit! I'm late for the 12 o'clock caption"

17/09/20 13:00:59

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32525Tony Edwards

Rockdown

17/09/20 12:58:52

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11461Dave Bryan

'' Now swallow it. Good girl.''

''I'm glad you enjoyed your birthday fantasy, darling. I just hope you didn't wake the rest of the caravan site.''

17/09/20 12:38:26

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11843Stephen Bean

Dave always enjoyed the climax of his show.

17/09/20 12:38:23

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32525Tony Edwards

Shock and roll

17/09/20 12:27:46

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22941Ian Skelding

"That's ironic."
"Why?"
"He's singing Comfotably Numb."

17/09/20 12:23:29

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9339Chris Keegan

I must say when Tom plays Stevie Wonder stuff he really lives the part.

17/09/20 12:14:54

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32525Tony Edwards

High C

17/09/20 12:14:34

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11461Dave Bryan

''You're looking anxious. Don't worry, there's no need to fret.''

17/09/20 12:12:03

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22941Ian Skelding

"Anyone seen the Gibson? I put it down here to fix the wiring."

17/09/20 12:10:13

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7020Hercules Rockefeller

"Seriously, Dave, just stick with the air guitar, okay?"

17/09/20 12:03:21

 
Molly R Vote score: 2072Molly R

Dave wished he hadn't accepted the gig for Donald Trump, but he really needed the money.

17/09/20 12:01:39

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6900Glyn Evans

Such a drama queen, all he did was stub his toe.

17/09/20 12:00:18

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13103Vanessa the Guesser

Who twanged his G-string?

17/09/20 12:00:09

 
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