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Mike Walsh		clever 🎶 Mow, mow, mow your boat, gently down the stream. 🎶 27/10/24 20:10:28	2 23
Voting is still live, Cap Auth. Caption writing is open for 24 hours, but voting is open for 72. You may still get your first win ;) (PS, I changed your comment identity to 'Caption Author' just so it's not revealed prior to voting close) --James Lennox
Scrijjy Doo		Please, no matches in the forest. 17/10/24 19:11:47	23

John Harrison		lol x2 When all you can get is an online dentist. 01/10/24 11:02:51	23

Chris Keegan		Dave's put on a few stones. 16/09/24 11:04:38, edited: 16/09/24 11:05:01	23

Dave Bryan		''I kneaded somewhere to live.'' 01/09/24 7:14:10	2 23

Chris Keegan		clever The other side reads - Told you so. 29/08/24 11:03:30	23

Vanessa the Guesser		lol x2 "My joystick's not working." "It hasn't for years, dear." 10/08/24 11:14:49	23

Stephen Bean		Mortal Tomcat 05/08/24 11:17:45	23

Dave Bryan		To be honest, I can't see that hairstyle taking off. 12/06/24 7:05:28	23

Dave Bryan		Gillette: The breast a man can get. 08/06/24 19:06:58	23

KT A		creative Perfect for traffic jams 31/05/24 7:11:46	23

Troompa Loompa		clever Weapon of Mouse Destruction 25/05/24 19:24:56	23

John Harrison		lol "He'll be full of beans in no time." 05/05/24 19:13:15	1 23

Al Overy		This house belongs to a famous wrapper. 28/04/24 19:01:12	1 23

Mr Dome		lol Pitchin Vader 24/04/24 11:04:56	23

Stephen Bean		On the straight and narrow 21/04/24 7:05:18	23

Karen McDonald		clever This broad's got legs that stop traffic! 14/04/24 11:03:56	23

Tony Edwards		The Grim Repair 06/04/24 11:08:32	23

Troompa Loompa		clever Not exactly cutting hedge technology. 25/03/24 20:09:26, edited: 25/03/24 20:13:37	23

C CaMel		Testing practices criticised at Pampers. 19/03/24 12:08:13	23

Vanessa the Guesser		clever Strike of genius. 02/03/24 12:07:56	23

Dave Bryan		lol x2 ''How much longer are you going to be in there?'' 26/02/24 12:03:50	23

Jo		creative This one's drowned.Guess they weren't a witch after all 24/02/24 8:01:03	2 23

Al Overy		clever Collect extra Nectar points! 29/01/24 8:19:04	23

Al Overy		Cold caller 26/01/24 8:00:17	23

Al Overy		🎵 My art will go on... 24/01/24 12:05:35, edited: 24/01/24 12:07:11	23

Dave Bryan		''Help yourself. There's no strings attached.'' 20/01/24 12:06:32	23

Dan Nicholls		Don't move, you're turtally surrounded 18/01/24 12:03:48	2 23

Greg Curtis		lol creative "It's moments like this, Dave, that remind me of just how insignificant you are." 16/01/24 12:15:18, edited: 16/01/24 18:37:55, suggested edits	5 23
You may not want to edit again, Cap Auth, but I'd suggest keep it subtle and let the reader do the work. --James Lennox
John Harrison		"Well, you grabbed my tit." "I know, but I was trying to tickle your kneecaps." 11/01/24 12:07:48, edited: 11/01/24 12:14:57	23

Vivvy En		"Waking up in the gutter, lads, that was some stag do." 11/01/24 8:05:25	23

C CaMel		lol “I’m just saying of all the places to put the stick…” 10/01/24 20:25:21	23

C CaMel		“What alerted you to the fact the pilot might have been drinking?” 31/12/23 8:18:12	23

Vanessa the Guesser		Lidl Women 27/12/23 8:09:34	23

Stephen Bean		lol Thomas The Tanked Engine 22/12/23 8:13:58	23

C CaMel		“BMW driver, just hand washed it, you know what to do.” 19/12/23 8:00:57	23

John Harrison		lol x2 "...and then later on, we'll get on to some actual motor bikes." 16/12/23 12:02:57	1 23

Ian Skelding		“Daddy, why’s there an extension lead going to next door’s garage?” “Shhhh.” 01/12/23 8:09:51, edited: 01/12/23 8:10:45	23

Mr Dome		lol This new leaf blower's a bit powerful, Dave 28/11/23 12:07:46	23

Stephen Bean		clever The pen is mightier than the sword. 19/11/23 20:03:29	23

Tony S		lol That's the last time we Invite Basil Brush onto pro celebrity golf. 31/10/23 23:03:13	23

C CaMel		Director’s Cut 23/10/23 11:02:35	23

The Wolf		lol "Mum, there's still no sign of Santa." 16/09/23 19:03:37	23

The Wolf		lol "Tony, why is there a shit in the sink?" 11/09/23 11:03:27	23

Mr Dome		lol Come on Mavis, only 8976 left to clean. Remember we need to do 10000 steps a day 06/09/23 7:35:09	1 23
Lol --Glyn Evans
C CaMel		clever “Can you believe it, 9 life sentences.” 05/09/23 11:01:16	23

The Wolf		lol x2 Interflora has really gone downhill. 04/09/23 7:16:28	23

Vanessa the Guesser		"I'm more used to driving Double Deckers." 18/08/23 7:12:15	23

Dave Bryan		Fat women riding ostriches? Somehow I don't think it will take off. 30/07/23 19:21:40, edited: 30/07/23 19:38:07	2 23

Mr Dome		lol Alecia was annoyed with the person who had stolen her brim 27/07/23 7:10:34	1 23
Took me a while, but I finally got there. --John Glover
Stephen Bean		LGBTQKFC 20/07/23 11:08:41	23

Tony S		I think it's ON upside down. 28/05/23 7:06:26	1 23
Is it not on back to front? --Mr Dome
Neil Mackenzie		clever They were going to sell the house but then decided to keep it. 20/04/23 8:23:24	23

Dave Bryan		''Read the small print, Billy. The Devil is in the detail.'' 08/04/23 7:07:49	23

The Wolf		lol "THIS IS THE POLICE. PULL OVER, GET OUT OF THE VAN AND SPREAD 'EM." 02/04/23 19:37:25, edited: 02/04/23 19:48:48	1 23
He should start doing donuts as a distraction --KimJong Pun
Al Overy		lol "Too much, Mr Hitchcock?" 24/03/23 12:00:12	23

Tony S		creative When your dad gets married to a Mermaid and you have to share a room with her kid. 23/03/23 12:08:30	1 23

John Harrison		“Have you tried switching it off and on again?” 08/03/23 20:00:12	1 23
Can you find the switch? --Willie Johnson
Martin Veith		clever "This teabag's not working." "You have to remove the rapper." 24/02/23 20:46:39	23

John Harrison		It was the perfect practical joke...Dave hid his wife's hairbrush where he knew she'd never look. 08/02/23 12:08:53	1 23

Julia Kinsey		“It must’ve shrunk in the carwash" 02/02/23 12:01:35	23

Julia Kinsey		Why do celebrities give their kids such ridiculous names… 26/01/23 12:00:26	23

James Lennox		lol "Lord Vader, the Rebels are attacking. Perhaps you should change out of your pyjamas." 27/12/22 20:01:39	23

Stephen Bean		clever Dessert Orchid 21/12/22 12:04:04	2 23

Stephen Bean		clever Grasper Carrot 29/11/22 12:00:05	1 23
I only recently found out that Lucy Davis (The Office, Shaun of the Dead) is Jasper Carrot's daughter. You all in the UK probably know this already but I felt compelled to share. --James Lennox
Tony S		It was on the A la carte menu. 15/11/22 8:05:23	23

Neil Mackenzie		Come in number 10 your time is up. 10/11/22 17:03:35	23

John Harrison		lol x2 creative Thomas The Tank Engine woke up with a throbbing head and a mouth like the inside of a budgies cage. "Can anyone remember where we left Annie and Clarabel last night?" he said. 25/10/22 21:32:00	23

Paul Gledhill		"Is there any doggy there?" 22/10/22 7:00:13	23

Ian Skelding		“I’ll go and get him a blanket.” 26/09/22 7:02:00	23

Gassy Statten		clever I can't see the word for the trees. 21/09/22 11:39:37	1 23

Tony S		I've been asked to do one on Monday with a crown. 14/09/22 11:09:10	23

Sheila Graham		clever x3 Unfortunately white doves are out of stock. Your order has been substituted. 17/07/22 20:21:09	23

Stephen Bean		"Will you guys quit hogging the limelight please." 16/07/22 19:00:37	23

James Lennox £50
	lol 18/06/22 7:00:31		17 23
Cheers for the congrats, guys. I think I was lucky to pip Tony's one, so I'm very glad he got a 2nd place prize. A big cheer out to the caption.me contributors who have made this extra prize possible. And, as always, many thanks to Chris for the... --James Lennox
Dave Bryan		lol ''It's not my fault the nest is a shambles. The instructions were in Swedish and three of the twigs were missing.'' 16/06/22 19:29:20	23

Tony Edwards		clever 🎵 Pets get physical, physical 🎵 14/06/22 11:59:44	1 23
Let me guess - Olivia Mewton John? --Willie Johnson
James Lennox		lol "Come on Darth, you slaughtered the Jedi, blew up a planet, killed your mentor ... I reckon 200 hours of community service is fair." 17/03/22 8:01:22	1 23

Chris Keegan £50
	lol x2 27/10/21 11:06:41		20 23
Hi all, many thanks for all your kind comments and votes, I'm in bits! I recently took some time off the site however the rehab clearly didn't work and it's great to be back transfixed to my phone in dark corridors with my fellow captionoholics... --Chris Keegan
Dave Bryan		lol ''What have you got to say for yourself?'' ''Meow.'' 15/10/21 11:09:02	1 23
Your cat clearly helped you with this one Dave! --Chris Keegan
Lucky Elperro £50
	lol clever x2 22/08/21 11:09:12		21 23
Lucky Elperro has insisted I invest the prize money into the running of the site, which is very kind of him. Thanks! --Chris Beach
Willie Johnson		lol The ultimate embarrassment: when you need a tow to get back to base. 26/07/21 7:35:20	23

Mark England		lol Never try to leave a barbers without paying 01/07/21 11:19:39	3 23
Great caption Mark but I think Al Overy deserved a nod for being first to come up with the barber idea which hadn't occurred to me. --Stephen Bean
Tony S		lol It got worse when the manager pulled him off at half time. 09/04/21 19:18:47	23

Vanessa the Guesser £50
	lol 25/03/21 20:00:07		21 23
Thank you for the votes and kind comments. I hope you all get the chance to put your feet up and have a great Easter! --Vanessa the Guesser
C CaMel		clever Scribbling rivalry 11/03/21 12:10:27	7 23
I don't mind really, was just making mischief. Was hoping you'd offer to upgrade your vote to a "clever" to keep it as "r". ðŸ™ƒ --Troompa Loompa
James Lennox		lol x3 Dave was horrified to discover the spyhole in his neighbour's fence had been removed, along with the fence. 09/03/21 12:35:25	1 23
...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson
Karyn Harrison		lol If you want your dishwasher to work you have to turn it on. 14/10/20 11:30:14	1 23
It has a squeeze butt-on. --Willie Johnson
James Lennox £50
	lol creative x2 28/04/20 19:23:57		18 23
First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox
Vanessa the Guesser		creative In other words - U FO 18/04/20 11:11:28	23

Stephen Bean		clever Rowed hog 04/10/19 19:02:43	23

Troompa Loompa		creative clever x2 Dave wasn't impressed at how Legal and General settled his claim for the roof repair. 02/08/19 21:22:08	23

Vanessa the Guesser		clever x2 Bow legged. 11/07/19 7:18:11	23

Vanessa the Guesser		clever "Euston, we have a problem" 30/04/19 11:21:58	23

Gavin Smithers		clever "I'm afraid we're giving the part to Ursula Andress" 26/04/19 8:59:08	23

Chris Keegan		creative clever x3 Convenience food. 21/04/19 13:14:53	23

Vivvy En		lol "Do you mind...? I work nights, you know." 28/02/19 20:54:27	23

Glad You Remember		clever "It's members only, sir." 26/12/18 12:01:59	23

Tina Flowers		lol 'It's not you Ken, it's me, I just want more space'. 28/11/18 21:55:22	2 23
I agree with Dave, this one was so good I refused to attempt a caption... --G fj
Mark England £50
	lol creative 01/10/18 19:04:56		20 23
I'm absolutely thrilled. Thanks to everyone for the votes and kind comments --Mark England

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