clever

"I'm afraid we're giving the part to Ursula Andress"

26/04/19 8:59:08

Splash of the Titans

26/04/19 7:00:15

‘We’re gonna need a bigger boat...’

26/04/19 7:54:20

Steve, put the harpoon down.

26/04/19 9:47:33

Baywatch vows to carry on with a new series despite suffering severe budget cuts

26/04/19 7:02:23

"Oh my god... we've made it... there it is!"
"Yeah, and mine's a Big Mac."

26/04/19 8:49:49

And just like that, the global rising sea level crisis was averted.

26/04/19 7:28:34

The two in the front live together. They're fatmates.

26/04/19 12:08:01

Polly 'n saturated fats

26/04/19 7:12:31

When I booked Club 18-30 I thought it was for that age group, not their friggin' weight.

26/04/19 7:08:01

Cinderella hen night ends in disaster as ship sinks just offshore

26/04/19 7:03:37

Gutlins

26/04/19 7:01:23

"Great, I've just remembered my hotel room number, 88."

26/04/19 7:01:07

"What the bloody hell are you playing at??? What I said was SLIMMERS World!!"

26/04/19 7:00:10

"The water's too cold!! We're going to complain to the local council about this, because we want something done about it. We're not happy."

27/04/19 20:31:02

Don't fancy yours much, Bert

26/04/19 19:31:19

Flood defences breached on The Jeremy Kyle Show.

26/04/19 11:10:11

Local Loch Ness monster sightings , explained by photograph of bathers.

26/04/19 10:15:22

Buoyancy maids

26/04/19 9:46:46

"OMG you are right, bathing in water does get rid of bad body odour."

26/04/19 9:26:21

Fatbergs

26/04/19 8:38:27

To be honest if it's a toss up between two fat birds and a ginger I'll give it a miss

26/04/19 8:07:48

creatures from the black lagoon

26/04/19 7:09:15

I don't know what all the fuss is about. I think they are totally appropriately dressed for the beach

26/04/19 7:08:16

''Well, that's their bath over with. A bag of chips each and I'm looking at a nice relaxing evening when we get back to the care home.''

26/04/19 7:04:43

British Remainers flee in small boats to France. They might be too stupid to understand how democracy works, but they’re not that stupid to turn up in France wearing yellow life vests.

26/04/19 7:00:19

Sea double-chins.

26/04/19 7:57:16

Mermaids in the low season

26/04/19 7:52:29

The girth of Venus. And Marcia.

26/04/19 7:49:42

Major panic ensued today as a Great White Shark was spotted in shallow waters on Brighton Beach. Luckily though, two local ladies entered the sea, smeared it with tartare sauce and polished off the bugger with a bag of chips.

26/04/19 7:24:17

"With a little bit of this, and a little bit of that, come on everybody..."
"Nope."

26/04/19 7:24:12

Falling off the cruise liner was a Scary moment for the remaining Spice Girls.

26/04/19 7:08:14

"Well, there used to be plenty of fish in the sea before they showed up."

26/04/19 7:06:30

Maybe paddleboarding isn't for you love after all

26/04/19 7:05:34

Footage emerges of the likely cause of the latest tsunami

26/04/19 7:04:12

Fisherman's Friends

26/04/19 7:01:03

Elizabeth from 'The Waltons' helps two beached whales in Bournemouth.

26/04/19 7:00:17

"She's behind you!"
"What?"
"SHE'S BEHIND YOU!"

26/04/19 7:00:11