Gavin Smithers

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	clever "I'm afraid we're giving the part to Ursula Andress" 26/04/19 9:59:08	23

	lol "No, I won't say cheese." 03/05/19 21:13:37	14

	"Let me in! I've lost my Florida keys!" 14/05/21 13:08:58	13

	Using three children as a jack was working surprisingly well. 07/03/18 8:42:14	11

	Oprah began to have second thoughts about the no holds barred Harry and Meghan documentary. 31/05/21 8:53:20	9

	John Prescott, Scarborough, c 1950 16/03/21 21:06:28	9

	Antennae Worrall Thompson 12/05/21 22:42:53	8

	lol "Yes, I'm the John McCririck of greyhound racing". 29/04/19 23:27:53	8

	His mother told him that a lemon will clean a chopping board, but this one isn't co-operating. 14/04/19 20:40:56	8

	"That bloody Diana's been here already, hasn't she?" 22/05/21 14:57:11	7

	Uncle Jam 04/04/18 20:05:20	7

	Air B n B 03/06/20 18:35:44	6

	I'm sorry to say you need some new fillings 28/11/19 20:06:09	6

	something unexpected in the bagging area 22/11/19 8:26:05	6

	Mardi Gran 06/05/19 12:00:53	6

	The winning entry in the cleanest toilet in Britain competition. 24/04/19 10:23:14	6

	Another Day in Paradise- until Phil Collins arrives. 20/04/18 14:26:44	1 6
I can't stand him either. --Dave Bryan
	They're all cabin crew from Slut Airways. 27/04/21 7:20:10	5

	Tesco launch a new range of "wanky vegetables" 08/03/21 15:56:59	5

	Venus Fleyetrap. 05/05/19 22:12:06	5

	creative And the Budget Funeral Plan includes a walking bus to the crematorium. 01/05/18 22:13:18	5

	These paving stones aren't straight, according to Trip Advisor. 23/04/18 14:09:24	5

	"She's surprisingly flexible because she's made from vulcanised rubber". 08/04/18 20:03:02	5

	Mr Hancock said that he's dealing with an unprecedented pandemic and he hopes his wife will recover soon. 25/06/21 23:44:37	4

	They expect you to lay your own table. 15/05/21 13:31:02	4

	Emily's second interview with Slut Airlines was going rather well 14/05/21 13:00:19	4

	We asked shoppers in Essex how they'd use this product. 95% said "spit"; 5% said "swallow". 22/04/21 23:15:17	1 4
And from that 95%, what percentage managed to successfully put soup on a spit? --Glyn Evans
	clever This erection won't stay hard for long. 07/02/21 17:03:17	4

	The ban was brought in after a Gallup poll. 19/04/20 11:46:12	4

	Corbyn says he went undercover and found out just how little the Conservatives wanted for the NHS. 27/11/19 20:05:41	4

	"Philip Green just made a pass at me". 25/05/19 13:09:57	4

	BBC managers remove all traces of Danny Baker. 13/05/19 1:07:31	4

	"I've been waiting all morning to hear whether I'm joining plain clothes or going undercover". 05/05/18 20:44:53	4

	83 million Americans are still waiting, because it didn't tell them to post the card. 30/04/18 23:07:46	4

	Handsome profile. Dark brown hair and eyes. Strong nose and chin. And, in my lap, a piece of equipment you and I will make memories with. But that's enough about me. Now, about my owner.... 25/04/18 8:28:34	4

	Where's the wardrobe? 09/04/18 12:40:08	4

	Donna kebab 07/08/21 0:32:02	3

	The good news; the vasectomy's done. The bad news; it's a bit late. 18/05/21 8:13:49	3

	Human Jenga always ends with someone getting hurt. 13/05/21 22:50:05	3

	You asked for two lager tops. 03/05/21 13:19:11	3

	Carnal tunnel syndrome 02/05/21 8:36:28	3

	"Well,I used to be a children's book illustrator." 08/03/21 15:51:44	3

	Couldn't you have shot it before it ate everything? 07/03/21 8:47:14	1 3
It wouldn't have been big enough to shoot yet. --Willie Johnson
	Absolutely flabulous 20/05/20 23:43:28	3

	Priti Patel? Oh, yes- very small, and very angry. 08/05/20 22:12:09	3

	The next village is Rolling Over and Going to Sleep 16/04/20 23:25:36	3

	Here you are, Sir- the most expensive dish on the menu. 05/04/20 21:16:39	3

	As Elton says- the biggest kick I ever got- doing the Crocodile Rock. 25/03/20 21:25:04	1 3
WWEW - What Would Elton Wear? --Scrijjy Doo
	The one on the right's a ventiloquist. 15/11/19 15:24:31	3

	Spannerdau Ballet 04/07/19 22:15:05	1 3
Spannerduo --Troompa Loompa
	It's Krissssss Akakbussssssssi 17/06/19 22:00:16	1 3
I almost put this myself! --Mr Dome
	Pea Trevino 26/05/19 22:14:45	3

	Flats 1-3 are compact, with a private aspect. 25/05/19 12:20:59	3

	He never does the ironing before breakfast. 17/06/18 12:25:47	3

	You can still see it's Michael Portillo. 07/06/18 11:21:12	3

	Part of the Â£7 meal deal. 19/03/18 8:09:02	3

	"This is NOT the Russian nerve agent we ordered, and I won't take a skateboard and a crackerjack pencil and pen instead". 18/03/18 16:37:20	3

	We've found the hard rock. Where's the cafÃ©? 12/03/18 12:29:48	3

	Boy George at Asda 05/03/18 21:31:32	3

	Ok, you found me- these are the Blue Ridge Mountains and, yes, I am the Lonesome Pine. 28/02/18 12:00:57	3

	Not the topless photo we were expecting. 07/08/21 0:54:00	2

Gavin Smithers

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