clever

"I'm afraid we're giving the part to Ursula Andress"

26/04/19 9:59:08

lol

"No, I won't say cheese."

03/05/19 21:13:37

"Let me in! I've lost my Florida keys!"

14/05/21 13:08:58

Using three children as a jack was working surprisingly well.

07/03/18 8:42:14

Oprah began to have second thoughts about the no holds barred Harry and Meghan documentary.

31/05/21 8:53:20

John Prescott, Scarborough, c 1950

16/03/21 21:06:28

Antennae Worrall Thompson

12/05/21 22:42:53

lol

"Yes, I'm the John McCririck of greyhound racing".

29/04/19 23:27:53

His mother told him that a lemon will clean a chopping board, but this one isn't co-operating.

14/04/19 20:40:56

"That bloody Diana's been here already, hasn't she?"

22/05/21 14:57:11

Uncle Jam

04/04/18 20:05:20

Air B n B

03/06/20 18:35:44

I'm sorry to say you need some new fillings

28/11/19 20:06:09

something unexpected in the bagging area

22/11/19 8:26:05

Mardi Gran

06/05/19 12:00:53

The winning entry in the cleanest toilet in Britain competition.

24/04/19 10:23:14

Another Day in Paradise- until Phil Collins arrives.

20/04/18 14:26:44

They're all cabin crew from Slut Airways.

27/04/21 7:20:10

Tesco launch a new range of "wanky vegetables"

08/03/21 15:56:59

Venus Fleyetrap.

05/05/19 22:12:06

creative

And the Budget Funeral Plan includes a walking bus to the crematorium.

01/05/18 22:13:18

These paving stones aren't straight, according to Trip Advisor.

23/04/18 14:09:24

"She's surprisingly flexible because she's made from vulcanised rubber".

08/04/18 20:03:02

Mr Hancock said that he's dealing with an unprecedented pandemic and he hopes his wife will recover soon.

25/06/21 23:44:37

They expect you to lay your own table.

15/05/21 13:31:02

Emily's second interview with Slut Airlines was going rather well

14/05/21 13:00:19

We asked shoppers in Essex how they'd use this product. 95% said "spit"; 5% said "swallow".

22/04/21 23:15:17

clever

This erection won't stay hard for long.

07/02/21 17:03:17

The ban was brought in after a Gallup poll.

19/04/20 11:46:12

Corbyn says he went undercover and found out just how little the Conservatives wanted for the NHS.

27/11/19 20:05:41

"Philip Green just made a pass at me".

25/05/19 13:09:57

BBC managers remove all traces of Danny Baker.

13/05/19 1:07:31

"I've been waiting all morning to hear whether I'm joining plain clothes or going undercover".

05/05/18 20:44:53

83 million Americans are still waiting, because it didn't tell them to post the card.

30/04/18 23:07:46

Handsome profile. Dark brown hair and eyes. Strong nose and chin. And, in my lap, a piece of equipment you and I will make memories with.
But that's enough about me. Now, about my owner....

25/04/18 8:28:34

Where's the wardrobe?

09/04/18 12:40:08

Donna kebab

07/08/21 0:32:02

The good news; the vasectomy's done. The bad news; it's a bit late.

18/05/21 8:13:49

Human Jenga always ends with someone getting hurt.

13/05/21 22:50:05

You asked for two lager tops.

03/05/21 13:19:11

Carnal tunnel syndrome

02/05/21 8:36:28

"Well,I used to be a children's book illustrator."

08/03/21 15:51:44

Couldn't you have shot it before it ate everything?

07/03/21 8:47:14

Absolutely flabulous

20/05/20 23:43:28

Priti Patel? Oh, yes- very small, and very angry.

08/05/20 22:12:09

The next village is Rolling Over and Going to Sleep

16/04/20 23:25:36

Here you are, Sir- the most expensive dish on the menu.

05/04/20 21:16:39

As Elton says- the biggest kick I ever got- doing the Crocodile Rock.

25/03/20 21:25:04

The one on the right's a ventiloquist.

15/11/19 15:24:31

Spannerdau Ballet

04/07/19 22:15:05

It's Krissssss Akakbussssssssi

17/06/19 22:00:16

Pea Trevino

26/05/19 22:14:45

Flats 1-3 are compact, with a private aspect.

25/05/19 12:20:59

He never does the ironing before breakfast.

17/06/18 12:25:47

You can still see it's Michael Portillo.

07/06/18 11:21:12

Part of the £7 meal deal.

19/03/18 8:09:02

"This is NOT the Russian nerve agent we ordered, and I won't take a skateboard and a crackerjack pencil and pen instead".

18/03/18 16:37:20

We've found the hard rock. Where's the café?

12/03/18 12:29:48

Boy George at Asda

05/03/18 21:31:32

Ok, you found me- these are the Blue Ridge Mountains and, yes, I am the Lonesome Pine.

28/02/18 12:00:57

Not the topless photo we were expecting.

07/08/21 0:54:00

Kim Jong-Un's holiday snaps.

18/09/21 22:48:37