lol clever x2

"Let me see, Google , images , Medusa, ah shit.

25/10/15 20:20:14

lol creative

Grandad can you pick gran up from the pub she's absolutely shit faced again .

14/10/16 14:40:57

lol x2

"I thought you said you knew how to change a nappy".

16/11/14 14:59:04

clever

Slip road.

15/10/16 12:20:58

What time is it?
Oh about 5 mins to 10 of the top of my head.

25/07/14 19:02:12

Subtext.

08/12/15 15:44:29

Man-maid?

19/09/14 7:22:39

lol clever

She could often be found in the beer garden enjoying a stiff brandy, who was taken into care some weeks later by the R.S.P.C.A.

07/09/14 20:41:54

Waiter I think this milk has gone sower.

23/09/12 11:52:20

Delays today were caused by Steve's on the line.

26/08/14 19:14:37

Where the streets have no drains.

21/08/14 13:42:37

Has anyone seen Dorothy's magic shoes? because Dorothy sure as hell cant.

28/06/14 19:35:17

"Finding nemo 3 is out soon"
" I know I've seen the trailer".

25/11/15 21:30:22

lol

Good high kick then a lovely follow through.

10/11/15 21:16:42

Typical bloody models always thinking they are the big ' I am'.

08/11/15 11:39:19

lol

"How long have you been dragging that old dog around Stan"?
"Hmmm let me see, well we got married in 1957".

03/11/15 1:31:23

They were in an on off relationship.

01/11/15 20:00:58

Police found the criminal 2 weeks later as fresh as the day he was caught.

30/10/15 12:47:48

lol

"Do you deliver"?
"Of course we do its over there by the kidneys".

02/10/15 11:59:40

lol

Tights in white satin.

19/09/16 14:15:07

Ah yes this is our parent company .

26/11/15 12:14:55

NOW will you stop feeding the bloody seagulls?

11/11/15 11:33:10

"Do you often come this way"?
"No I usually use the washing machine".

08/11/14 12:58:14

One hundred & eighty .

02/10/16 7:43:34

The shop was shut down 2 days later , it didn't have a licence to sell boos.

28/11/15 12:21:24

Tea chest.

12/11/15 20:03:38

Switching partners.

01/11/15 20:02:52

JC/DC

27/10/15 23:05:48

Police believe they are close to finding the stolen steamroller.

22/10/15 19:01:10

Snows patience had finally run out,Dopey had told the 7up joke for the last time.

22/08/14 11:27:31

Nothing looks worse than a bush sticking out of a skimpy pair of knickers.

27/06/14 14:00:27

Don't look back in anger.

04/10/14 10:30:35

Erik returned home victorious after a successful pillage of Bradford.

27/08/12 12:01:13

creative

Jane wonders which poor bastard has her rucksack as she discovers shes been carrying a parachute for the last 10 miles.

03/11/16 19:30:51

'The long arm of the law' was not a phrase Dave wanted to hear before a rectal examination.

10/10/16 7:15:20

Since the report conditions at sports direct have improved dramatically.

06/10/16 19:16:20

When you said you're going to draw a giant cock on that wall I didn't think you could pull it off.

22/11/15 13:53:19

Feline groovy.

16/11/15 20:32:51

Wait 5 mins and slice of toast pops out of her cleavage .

12/11/15 20:20:29

No one was ever going to take away his liberty.

11/11/15 12:01:05

The strap on appliance Dave had bought came as a huge disappointment to his wife.
.

29/10/15 12:02:42

After spending £40 and getting six balls in a milk churn Dave finally walked away with a prize.

24/10/15 11:41:05

This truly was the most horrific pumpkin the teenagers had ever seen .

24/10/15 7:12:41

There was always a group of buoys hanging around outside Janes shop.

23/10/15 8:12:02

Even in death Dave was always escorted by a couple of bouncers.

22/10/14 23:31:01

Signs of exhaustion.

17/10/14 16:13:31

One thing you can say about Jane is that she can hold a tune.

25/10/16 11:01:45

With 6 miles of pristine beach Dave still manages to stand in the only bit of dog shit.

18/10/16 11:02:06

"You're having a doll for Christmas "
"How the hell do you know that"
" I felt your presents"

10/10/16 19:22:30

creative

"New gloves, what happened to your last pair"?
"Rectum".

10/10/16 7:19:44

They decided to blow their budget and go upmarket rather than the usual week at Blackpool.

23/11/15 13:18:42

Although he knew he would never be as strong as his friends the kitten showed doghead determination.

25/10/15 13:11:40

Police suspected Jane was running a knocking shop.

13/11/14 19:22:27

Sun sikhers

26/09/14 11:13:30

"Yeah she,s definitely not wearing any".

22/08/14 11:23:22

lol

Dave was a perfectionist when it come to gardening,some said he was suffering from hoe.c.d.

12/06/14 18:35:19

Jane feared her husband would go ape shit when he saw how much stuff she had bought off amazon.

08/10/12 9:46:04

Cilla Blacks new denture was starting to take shape.

02/10/12 20:07:39

Shanghai H.G.V. test level one.

10/08/12 10:29:44

Coastline.

02/11/16 14:55:37

"Sorry babe I can't see you no more "
"What , you mean we're splitting up"?
"No it's your bloody hair I literally can't see you anymore ".

01/11/16 21:10:34

You have to be up at the crack of Dawn to get this shot.

04/10/16 12:18:39

I don't approve of sex in front of minors.

25/09/16 10:47:10

lol

"Have you come this way before"?
"Yes but it's usually when I reach the cobbled section".

16/12/15 18:17:03

High street.

28/10/15 10:31:44

Police cut backs cause mounted police and dog section to merge.

26/10/15 13:12:44

"Do you fancy playing a round"?
"Easy tiger we only met 3 minutes ago".

18/10/15 14:56:22

"Somebody ordered a taxi from Wetherspoons"?

28/12/14 13:26:18

"Ah yes I remember you,you used to be a right ugly little bastard".

21/12/14 17:28:36

Shark infested mortars.

23/10/14 20:10:31

"Sorry we will have to do a re-shoot the bloody robin has disappeared up Justins arse again".

23/10/14 13:42:46

Madonna , the inspector gadget years.

30/09/14 9:12:03

"What's up mate"?
" It started coffin and spluttering and I think it's
gone and blown a casket, trouble is I don't urn enough to get it fixed"

11/09/14 12:44:39

"Bugger that's the fourth mistake Iv'e made .Let me rub it out and start again".

13/08/14 14:02:13

Fire highgent.

08/06/14 15:10:33

Morph and his brother had really piled on the pounds on the buffalo wings diet.

08/11/12 13:01:33

The girl with the bad arm tattoo.

07/09/12 7:13:30

The box is in nice condition considering her age .

05/11/16 15:57:44

clever

Mum that thimble you ordered of Amazon has arrived .

02/11/16 21:07:40

Dave was sick of the plastic litter being left on the pavement outside his shop.

02/11/16 5:15:56

Silver surfer.

17/10/16 13:48:34

Dominocan Republic.

03/10/16 11:11:44

creative

Bollocks I suppose I'd better call a plumer.

01/10/16 20:25:25

Aisle candy.

19/09/16 19:52:55

"I've never seen such a brave cat".
"Yeah I know he completely lost his sight two years ago. I think it was about that time he got incredibly brave".

26/11/15 20:05:33

Ideal for a nice trip.

24/11/15 10:49:08

Madam button fly.

09/11/15 8:26:38

Nice clean platform,shiny floors,no litter, very quite(nobody wanted to mention the elephant in the room).

31/10/15 12:16:49

Dave was getting pissed of with everyone saying he looked like their double.

16/10/15 11:47:55

The size of some selfie sticks was getting way out of hand.

11/10/15 13:59:26

Dave finally found the entrance to the terminal.

02/12/14 16:17:17

Noel Edmonds was shocked by Columbia's version of deal or no deal.

20/11/14 9:02:44

The famous explorer Christopher Cumulonibus.

17/11/14 18:14:51

The seven wifi of Henry VII.

18/10/14 8:13:05

Ah yes I love a day out at molten towers.

18/10/14 8:07:28

Scrotal microwave damage, also known as " boil in the bag".

30/09/14 0:53:39

A dab of clearasil soon got rid of the blackheads.

20/09/14 10:59:01

The Welsh were giving England a slating again as usual.

19/09/14 19:07:45

Frostie the snowman had finally met the woman of his dreams.

16/09/14 19:17:25