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Life for Dave was hard. The only known squirrel in Britain with a nut allergy.
new entry
Life for Dave was hard. The only known squirrel in Britain with a nut allergy.
"Ok, ok, Im sorry I told the girls about your reptile dysfunction. Dont bite my head off."
new entry
"Ok, ok, I'm sorry I told the girls about your reptile dysfunction. Don't bite my head off."
Culture shock
new entry
Culture shock
Poor Ernie was enjoying doing the backstroke until he bumped into a huge buoy.
Poor Ernie was enjoying doing the backstroke until he bumped into a huge buoy.
Neighbours
Neighbours
The top half looks good, but dig a little deeper and youll find shes got crabs.
The top half looks good, but dig a little deeper and you'll find she's got crabs.
"I used to be the Apple of their eye."
"I used to be the Apple of their eye."
"He shagged me from behind, so hes off to the vet." "You getting him put down?" "No, hes getting his nails clipped!"
"He shagged me from behind, so he's off to the vet."

"You getting him put down?"

"No, he's getting his nails clipped!"
Frigging sperm whales
Frigging sperm whales
"Bloody weirdo. Did you feel him dressing us with his eyes?"
"Bloody weirdo. Did you feel him dressing us with his eyes?"

Mark England
That awkward next day after your wife has found out you’ve been having an affair and she’s burnt everything you own.
That awkward next day after your wife has found out you’ve been having an affair and she’s burnt everything you own.
Karen Oakenfull
This is a station announcement for all those passengers wishing to commit suicide: The train due to be arriving on platform 1 will now be arriving on Platform 2.
''This is a station announcement for all those passengers wishing to commit suicide: The train due to be arriving on platform 1 will now be arriving on Platform 2.''
Dave Bryan
Drowning Street
Drowning Street
Chris Keegan
"Cant believe the girls started the beach volleyball without me"
"Can't believe the girls started the beach volleyball without me"
Mark Wilson
Dont be fooled by the bottle, its full of whine.
Don't be fooled by the bottle, it's full of whine.
Karyn Harrison
Things start to get really competitive at the Doncaster annual farting championships
Things start to get really competitive at the Doncaster annual farting championships
Mr Dome
Dave was told not to bottle up his emotions, so he keeps them in a tin instead.
Dave was told not to bottle up his emotions, so he keeps them in a tin instead.
Troompa Loompa
Elton Johns taking these hair transplants too far now
Elton John's taking these hair transplants too far now
Mark Wilson
Hello officer, its Warwick Davis here. Ive had five pairs of jeans stolen from my washing line"
'Hello officer, it's Warwick Davis here. I've had five pairs of jeans stolen from my washing line"
Mark England
News has reached the fishermen that the schools will soon be back.
News has reached the fishermen that the schools will soon be back.
Dave Bryan
Scotsman loses 20p in Clyde.
Scotsman loses 20p in Clyde.
C CaMel
"You bought them cheap from a mate of yours at the cricket club, whats that awful musty smell?"
"You bought them cheap from a mate of yours at the cricket club, what's that awful musty smell?"
John Glover
"Then they go at 157 mph and come to an instant stop, slicing them into tiny cubes." "Youre fired".
"Then they go at 157 mph and come to an instant stop, slicing them into tiny cubes."
"You're fired".
Dan Nicholls
"Ill be there in a Jiffy."
"I'll be there in a Jiffy."
Tony Edwards
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