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When your hallucinogenic cocktail of medication makes your NHS nurse look like Jessica Rabbit.
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Point taken.
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''I should keep two metres away from her. She may be a carrier pigeon.''
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I tried to get a semi up there once but my wife said no chance.
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"Thank God. Tea is finished, pots are done and the cubs are asleep. Now I can lie on the sofa with my feet up and relax...ALEXA...PLAY THE SOUND OF A YOUNG INJURED WILDEBEEST BEING RIPPED TO SHREDS...."
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"A pneumatic drill and some black and white chalk and Stonehenge is ruined forever. Bloody school trips"
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''Who are those f-cking wierdos?''
''They're captioneers, Fester.''
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Hearsay
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"Pssst. I heard that you're going to the Vet today. Can you do me a favour and keep an eye out for my bollocks? I haven't seen them since the last time I went"
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Extreme right winger
Stephen Bean
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Antarctic expedition diary. Day 1.
Me and my fellow explorers were getting tired. The freezing conditions and sharp winds were starting to affect our strength and patience. After a 50 mile hike through the difficult terrain, we stopped to eat s
The Wolf
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Dave loved riding lightning rods during hurricanes. He did it well. We'll miss you Dave.
James Lennox
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♪ Always look on the bright cider life
Vivvy En
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Sorry I can't find a pulse
Mr Dome
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The late ex President.
Ian Skelding
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The fit controller
Stu Dent
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"The shops around here have been badly affected by the pundemic."
Stephen Bean
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"What's the plan if this all kicks off Sarge"
"Taser the kid"
Mark Wilson
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For Absolute Beginners.
Vanessa the Guesser
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Vin Diesel
The Wolf
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Dark side of the vroom
Stu Dent
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Could I have a Red Rum please?
Neil Mackenzie
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"Haven't you forgotten something?", asked the Fencing judge.
Michael Winner
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"What are the odds?", thought Dorothy as she recognised Tin Man's arsehole at the top of the can.
Stephen Bean
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