clever x3

These stairs lead down to the best cellar.

21/10/18 19:06:51

lol

'It's not you Ken, it's me, I just want more space'.

28/11/18 21:55:22

clever x3

'I'm the bus in-spectre'.

31/10/18 20:17:56

Kitty Litter.

21/11/18 8:07:12

Baking Bad

06/10/18 9:30:13

'I'm afraid this painting is worthless, it's ripped!'

22/08/18 19:21:33

Oceans Elevenses.

18/11/18 8:50:18

Thats a novel way to get over a wall.

02/11/18 20:11:49

'It was only a friendly hug, no need to bite my head off'.

06/07/18 8:45:23

'Well lads we best call it a night or we'll all be in the doghouse.'

22/08/18 11:49:17

That's Amoray.

01/07/18 11:10:35

'You ask for a pay rise too?' 'Yeah' 'Thought so'

28/09/18 7:22:48

'Come on mauve along'. 'Time gentlemen please'

13/06/18 19:51:49

Gary wished he'd never suggested that game of Hide and Seek.

10/11/18 18:10:17

'Would you hold my apple for a minute, I'm just going to sit down for a spell'.

02/11/18 19:56:58

Blue room, you saw me standing alone.....

28/10/18 11:19:45

That's what happens when you rely on your husband to wrap presents for Christmas.

18/10/18 20:51:43

I've got the collection bucket, so that makes me a money spider.

06/07/18 19:31:29

WEATHER WARNING! There is a storm brewing over Camp David.

05/06/18 19:29:01

Colin was horrified when he looked down and noticed the seagulls had nicked his fish and chips.

01/06/18 15:48:01

'I knew I'd be in the papers one day'.

01/12/18 21:00:31

> > > > This way to the Isle of Sky.

16/09/18 9:38:58

'That bloody poltergeist is back Norman'

09/08/18 8:17:54

'I am a witness for the sheepdog trials'

08/08/18 11:06:29

lol

He's going to be livid when he wakes up to find someone's nicked his tent .

13/07/18 17:41:11

'I know they are called pushbikes Susan, but if you don't ride them occasionally we will never make it to Brighton'.

05/07/18 8:29:05

'Excuse me mate, can I borrow that, I've got to phone home'.

28/06/18 10:27:54

Alcoprop

13/06/18 13:39:51

Recipe for disaster.

13/11/18 12:56:44

'Now , the wife must never know I've cheated on the diet, so no squealing'.

04/11/18 20:29:41

Toad of Toad Shawl.

12/08/18 13:38:30

Churchills excitement over the England v Columbia match was growing rapidly.

03/07/18 20:05:17

i know I'm getting old but did you have to ask the groomer to give me a blue rinse?

30/05/18 11:23:42

Must get my speech impediment sorted out,I asked for a large pair of earrings, not earwings

20/05/18 11:43:42

'Okay, let's just take a break, I see you've bought your own lunchbox'.

03/11/18 20:37:02

'Does this meeting actually have any porpoise?.

03/11/18 16:43:59

'Right you can all come out now' Halloween is over, no more eye of frog needed for another year'.

01/11/18 20:21:43

Lego lass

28/09/18 19:51:42

'You forgot to wear your personal protective gear again, didn't you'

09/07/18 7:27:45

'What! no marmalade sandwiches'

08/07/18 9:36:16

Li-Chang was the leader of the Korean dog-napping gang, despite a full investigation police have no leads.

21/06/18 11:44:08

Well Woody's carwash was bound to be a cowboy outfit.

01/06/18 20:14:21

Have you been on the catnip again Kevin?

21/05/18 9:46:18

Cheat and two veg anyone?

14/05/18 9:59:56

A budding artist.

17/10/18 9:12:09

'I've just chucked one bloke out the window for nicking my banana, do you wanna be next?'

16/10/18 8:56:06

Toad kill

13/10/18 10:17:56

I see Latoya Jackson's at it again with her wardrobe malfunction.

07/10/18 20:20:25

Double A for effort.

18/09/18 12:02:03

'The flush on that toilet's a bit lively Pete.'

22/08/18 11:56:08

Great for a Son-day roast

06/08/18 13:06:38

'My doctor said keep taking the Pils'.

03/08/18 20:10:42

'Look mum I've found a wand, They'll have to write a book about me, Harry Otter and the Ring of Bright Water'.

18/07/18 20:22:23

Is this where the Texans pay their Buffalo bills?.

27/06/18 20:27:23

'I'm sure you can Cedar potential' said the man from Shady Homes Estate Agents.

23/06/18 10:51:21

Not a bad idea, but I bet that squirrel pen and inks by now.

31/05/18 19:33:59

Twin Beaks

27/05/18 19:03:20

Having a hissy fit.

24/05/18 19:04:18

Drac pack

12/05/18 19:10:05

What the butler thawed.

19/11/18 13:16:03

'Mad'? 'I'm spitting feathers'!

23/10/18 12:40:15

'Right no more weddings for the next 10 years' says a fed up Prince George.

17/10/18 18:23:04

'Put your hood up, I think it's going to rain'.

25/09/18 14:41:51

He may be abominable, yeti loves me and he's my husband.

21/08/18 7:49:43

'I'm making a moovie.'

15/08/18 19:03:34

NYPD Queues.

06/08/18 10:00:01

'Did I here someone say Picnic?'.

05/08/18 12:17:47

Since the sudden disappearance of her mate, Penny was so much more relaxed, he was a swine to live with.

01/08/18 8:54:40

'Four times I asked you to turn the music down, but did you listen? NO!'

14/07/18 10:53:34

Mary's spending had got so out of hand, Jim had to call in the receivers.

13/07/18 9:41:50

'Gottle of Geer'

04/07/18 12:35:51

This birdhouse is really taking the shabby chick look too far.

18/06/18 11:36:46

Newest line in the Poultry and Gabbana range.

20/05/18 21:13:14

Cos shes not worth it.

12/05/18 12:43:51

Candlewick bearspread.

27/11/18 20:46:36

The new breed of dog, The Sushitzu.

24/11/18 23:45:30

Sandbags at dawn.

24/11/18 13:25:33

Polar stare.

17/11/18 20:15:09

Hair today, Gauguin tomorrow.

17/11/18 9:22:24

'Anyone seen the asptray?'.

30/10/18 22:50:45

'No-one will ever know I put the sign upside down'.

29/10/18 22:00:42

Sun, sea and sofa.

05/10/18 19:40:33

Fall of the wild.

11/08/18 19:05:15

'Oh come on bruv, I only said I thought this jumper suits me better'.

10/08/18 11:52:05

Kate Wingslet.

31/07/18 19:06:56

'Let meowt of here'

27/07/18 13:54:43

Passion Flower!

24/07/18 19:17:25

'We are never going to get off this bloody mountain if we can't find that compass.'

24/07/18 16:12:52

Chamelflage

16/07/18 11:47:05

Orchestral manoeuvres for a lark.

12/07/18 19:59:04

Little shop of horror.

11/07/18 20:16:21

'When did you say that trains coming, it's fresian out here'.

10/07/18 11:58:12

Steve's favourite sport was cycling but pocket billiards ran a close second.

09/07/18 19:20:46

Juan always danced alone, he liked plenty of ballroom.

07/07/18 20:56:14

Here's that sick squid I owe you.

06/07/18 18:25:52

'Eel meet again, don't know where, don't know when....

01/07/18 11:08:52

Bark and Ride.

29/06/18 7:27:33

Mick Haggard

24/06/18 7:28:49

Jenny thought she could ruffle a few feathers with her new robotic hands.

11/06/18 19:20:19

The postal cistern is really going down the pan.

04/06/18 19:20:11

Malice in underground

02/06/18 11:26:44

'Hurry up with that photo, before I'm Gone with the Wind'

02/06/18 10:38:06

Hazelnut spread.

31/05/18 12:43:08

Hey officer are you with CHIPS?

25/05/18 9:38:01

Slinky boots!

24/05/18 19:17:41

I don't give edam about the cheese, just give me the wine.

24/05/18 11:14:58

Me, handsome? ohh Yes!

23/05/18 13:02:23

Udder stupidity!

19/05/18 11:43:19

That's what happens when you follow the Diet of the Caribbean.

16/05/18 20:36:38

Alice in Lagerland

16/05/18 10:27:13

'I told you that map was upside down'.

04/12/18 20:06:52

Russian Tourists??

04/12/18 14:34:09

Grim, set and match.

04/12/18 9:33:24

'This carpet was really sheep, a baagain in fact'.

03/12/18 21:50:18

'I hate these pupups'

03/12/18 14:58:25

'Oh come on'

02/12/18 20:38:42

Toys r Ruff.

24/11/18 13:27:05

Looks like the Russian gymnasts have overdone the steroids again.

18/11/18 22:00:33

'Mum let me dress myself this morning'.

18/11/18 18:35:29

'I shouldn't have had that light lunch'.

09/11/18 21:28:26

'Come inside and meet the cook Grecian Ern'.

03/11/18 16:33:23

Little Lucy went to extreme lengths to keep the flies away from her picnic.

01/11/18 16:43:45

'I don't want to burst your bubble dear, but I think you have taken this diet a bit too far'.

31/10/18 17:31:20

She's been led As-Tray.

30/10/18 22:48:06

That's the Brexit deal back where it started!

25/10/18 19:04:22

'It might have stopped raining but if a coconut falls off this tree, I'll be fine'.

19/10/18 11:28:05

Mustafa 99.

14/10/18 22:27:16

Polar opposites.

14/10/18 19:08:55

Should've gone to Specsavers.

13/10/18 19:52:52

Vauxhall Corpsa

11/10/18 22:18:52

'You should see my eskimo roll'

11/10/18 22:09:38

Higher education.

09/10/18 19:28:49

Eau dear, water wally.

08/10/18 11:58:49

After the doping allegations, the Russians decided this was the only way to get their athletes to break the Olympic swimming record.

08/10/18 11:54:03

'Don't panic Nigel, you still have plenty of Pterybytes of Ram left'.

07/10/18 20:15:08

'Nope, You'll have to carry me, I'm dog tired'.

06/10/18 19:13:14

Polly's pulled a cracker.

04/10/18 11:07:18

Gingers Ale.

22/09/18 9:44:35

Ark-ansas fire dept.

23/08/18 13:51:33

Health and Pastry gone mad!

17/08/18 12:15:45

Hong Kong Footy.

16/08/18 19:32:03

Supermoodel.

15/08/18 19:10:03

Handycap!

11/08/18 11:51:57

'Call yourself a bullfighter?, go on picador and leave'.

11/08/18 11:44:09

'I do apologise sir, I thought you said tablet for one'.

08/08/18 11:08:06

'Excuse me, I don't suppose anyone has a map I can borrow, I seem to be a little lost'.

05/08/18 8:36:46

I bought it from Burke and Hare Used Car Dealers'.

03/08/18 10:03:36

'When I said I was going to the beach to catch some rays, this isn't what I meant'.

02/08/18 19:12:06

'But mum, I had to marry him, He is a clingon'.

02/08/18 18:59:29

Boxing scratch.

02/08/18 12:32:11

Some Perudevian cave art.

01/08/18 13:38:10

Hey Leonardo, I don't remember Steven Seagull starring in the movie,

31/07/18 19:10:52

Just another normal day in Brighton.

31/07/18 11:27:37

Just in case you need a quick Wizzz-ard

30/07/18 22:03:06

Bananadrama

26/07/18 19:45:03

Anything for the weekend Sir ?

25/07/18 20:31:48

Backseat diver.

25/07/18 20:04:16

'He's forgotten the bucket again Daisy'

23/07/18 22:37:29

Janice was keeping a poker face pond-ering her next move.

21/07/18 11:22:56

Moon with a view!

20/07/18 11:52:17

'If she's not careful, her fandango will be ruined beyond repair.'

15/07/18 11:38:13

'That's the third pub we've been barred from thanks to you, showing off with your fire-breathing trick'.

12/07/18 9:46:33

Glastonmerry

02/07/18 11:51:17

Oh Nigel, I told you he was too young to go on the ghost train'.

26/06/18 11:55:08

I'm telling you the goal was disallowed cos it didn't cross feline.

23/06/18 12:10:06

When dining at the Blue Monkey, Neil always has a light lunch.

22/06/18 10:02:57

Candice has got the art of modelling all wrapped up.

20/06/18 11:57:10

That's what happens when they genetically modify our food!

17/06/18 8:26:04

Roxy could always light up a room.

16/06/18 19:16:43

Leroy and his mum were very disappointed with the Nottinghill Carnival this year.

16/06/18 14:30:20

'Why oh why didn't you wait to get changed until we reached the nudist beach Margaret?.

15/06/18 19:53:07

You can get PILES of rubbish in here

11/06/18 11:26:57

Right you two I'm off , I'm not playing Gooseberry anymore!

08/06/18 8:44:40

Must be designed by a woman, always giving out mixed signals.

07/06/18 15:03:10

Bob was really looking for The Karma Sutra, Sarah Green's book was just a smokescreen.

06/06/18 13:09:57

A little to the left perhaps, I know that vet left the thermometer up there somewhere.

03/06/18 23:27:25

'I told you not to upset the natives'

03/06/18 21:37:08

It goes lovely with my armourchair in the corner.

03/06/18 21:22:42

Roach Coach

29/05/18 11:31:52

Stupermodel

29/05/18 9:09:29

When Bongo's mum gave him his first haircut he went ape.

28/05/18 13:35:15

Frank, would you mind telling me where the hell you got that baby from?

22/05/18 19:15:39

I couldn't tell stork from flutter!

22/05/18 19:09:38

Boston see party

22/05/18 15:11:06

My new all over protective suit seems to have hit a few teething problems!

21/05/18 12:48:52

The new egg bra was to go under her shellsuit.

19/05/18 19:43:11

By the time Kevin realised he'd forgotten his parachute , it was too late.

17/05/18 11:57:26

Since starring in Jaws Sharky loved being in the spotlight.

14/05/18 19:18:35

Tom Cruise regrets parking on those double yellow lines.

10/05/18 22:34:57

When Paddington went on Twitter he never thought he would get so many followers.

09/05/18 19:39:43

I blame global warming!!

09/05/18 18:40:54

Life of Pi-le

08/05/18 9:15:17

And that is why the chefs new recipe for cockaleekie soup failed miserably.

06/05/18 8:47:48

Kentucky Fried Child

05/05/18 12:47:00

George went to extreme measures to get the bbq to light.

04/05/18 15:02:38

If you donate enough you may get Canonised.

03/05/18 21:32:03

There is no way Linda is going to miss the opening day of the Wimbledon Championships this year!!

03/05/18 14:17:10

Whoops there goes another rubber glove plant.

01/05/18 10:03:22

OH!!!! May day, I thought you said gay day

01/05/18 5:23:27

Alexander's Ragbag Band

27/04/18 22:50:16