09/06/12 11:28:38

The only gay in the pillage.

30/06/12 20:17:18

This disturbing image was found in the home of a known Speedophile.

02/05/12 20:00:49

“I best be off- the wife’ll be having kittens.”

28/10/11 20:02:31

lol

Stewards enquiry after tortoise lodges an official complaint

19/04/19 12:00:37

“I’ve met his wife and sister. A lovely woman.”

25/04/12 11:07:27

"Why do you think we're stuffed?"
"Because I've lost the map."

19/05/12 11:07:10

£100
WINNER

"Call pest control. Tell them he's back."

16/03/12 12:07:32

Hitler invades china.

05/08/14 20:01:28

£100
WINNER

Holidaymakers are warned as BA prepares to launch yet another strike.

29/05/12 11:26:02

My Grandad still drove at eighty, but in a thirty zone.

12/06/12 20:14:57

And I thought it was Red Bull that gave you wings.

12/05/12 11:00:58

Redundancies mean he’s the only worker left at the plant.

06/03/12 11:07:02

“The map said Piccadilly Circus.”

21/10/11 11:03:55

Trev was a one woman man who firmly believed in mahogany.

27/04/12 20:33:31

ElderBerry

15/09/11 12:48:55

"Soon the juvenile busker will hatch fully from its egg."

18/04/19 9:26:01

creative

"Have you been away?"

29/07/14 20:08:15

When dinosaurs chromed the Earth.

03/01/14 20:22:39

“Best of luck with the interview Dad.”

30/06/12 20:08:45

Another fat cat gets a raise

01/11/11 11:00:09

24/10/11 11:07:43

Ménage Abattoir

08/10/11 11:03:09

“I’m afraid it's Cholera.”

07/10/11 11:35:38

She was known for being a bit of a globetrotter.

01/08/14 20:17:46

It’s what’s inside that counts, which is where he’ll end up if they ever check his computer.

25/04/12 11:00:24

“That's why I never give money to the homeless. They always spend it on booze and vampire rabbits.”

05/04/12 20:08:59

Just hanging out by the pool.

25/03/12 20:00:15

"Something blue?"

22/03/12 20:00:26

A troublesome trolley wheel can send you over the edge.

26/11/11 20:15:12

At Glasgow Zoo, even the animals come at you with a bottle.

08/11/11 12:01:05

John’s tendency to drop his trousers was being fuelled by his friends.

04/07/12 11:00:10

The end of another successful Harold Shipman street party.

04/06/12 20:02:04

Brenda’s husband had always wanted a natural burial. It’s just Brenda didn’t deem it necessary for him to be dead in order to have one.

22/05/12 11:15:20

“So far I’ve been involved in three arrests- two of them cardiac.”

16/05/12 11:00:13

“Dear Derren, Colin still thinks he’s a cod.”

13/10/11 20:23:25

Mount Fuji erupts

09/10/11 11:27:04

Big Brother is washing you

01/10/11 11:33:06

"...and with the branding, we expect to achieve full market penetration."

06/04/19 21:07:04

Jesus’ website is currently down. Should be back up again in 3 days.

07/07/12 20:00:35

“I’ll have the quarter pounder meal please.”

01/07/12 11:00:42

“You two have a warped sex drive."

15/04/12 11:04:54

Customers are reminded to refrain from touching any of our telegraph pole dancers.

26/03/12 11:58:02

“See. It is shatterproof.”

21/03/12 11:04:49

Group Hog

08/10/11 11:01:00

Delivered by Comet

16/09/11 16:03:03

Off to murder another song...

29/08/11 11:26:04

Man attempts heads, shoulders, knees and toes record.

26/08/11 11:15:12

“Well lads, that takes care of our little squatter problem.”

08/06/12 12:23:04

“NYPD?”
“Sorry love- I don’t do text speak.”

17/05/12 20:22:11

If Adil doesn’t get his Camel moving soon, he’ll be late for the Oasis gig.

29/04/12 11:17:22

At seeking he was good; hiding- rubbish.

22/04/12 21:19:32

"Dig in."

13/04/12 11:00:22

“This hat’s killing me.”
“Funny- I’d have guessed heart disease.”

30/10/11 20:08:14

lol

After installing a new 100w light bulb, Chris Evans falls asleep.

29/07/15 21:19:16

This time, the room's in the elephant.

28/07/15 20:27:42

"No. Still no job ads for air hostesses..."

07/04/19 8:21:04

For his misbehaviour, he was sent to the naughty steppe.

07/01/14 20:10:50

“I preferred having the wool pulled over them.”

03/05/12 20:00:31

“I don’t get it or am I just being slow?”

08/04/12 20:12:59

She discovered his chat-up lines were even cheesier.

10/03/12 20:56:15

Dealers carry their Coke next to their Crack.

18/11/11 20:00:39

She scraped the money together to buy her own plaice.

17/11/11 11:03:09

“Can’t we just shout ‘Big Issue'?”

11/10/11 20:03:56

An amphibious vehicle

04/10/11 11:00:12

Ronald McDonald denies nervous breakdown.

06/09/11 13:22:59

A waist of space

29/08/11 10:17:37

With limited success on other sites, Geoff tries tinder.

29/07/15 21:12:56

This vantage point allows us to study the monks and observe their habits.

21/06/12 11:00:17

Only a few narcoleptic train spotters make it into adulthood.

07/06/12 20:04:49

Former coke addicts often find it hard to let go.

01/06/12 20:00:10

Northern Iraq has seen an increase in Kurd crawling.

23/05/12 20:02:02

Some nights, one may be lucky enough to view the Milky Way. Tonight however, there’s only a chocolate orange.

10/04/12 20:00:44

“Lance Armstrong?”
“It’ll have to be if he wants to hold onto that car for much longer.”

16/03/12 20:28:37

...and rock and roll.

19/11/11 20:56:21

Greece prints new banknote.

17/10/11 11:15:31

The Great Hoodyni

28/08/11 11:01:17

Angry staff at the Ecuadorian embassy clamour to witness Julian Assange's arrest after he fails to leave a tip.

12/04/19 9:54:33

"You know, we could just buy a new football."

28/07/15 21:00:33

Statistics show only 1 in 8 people will actively take part in a Mexican wave.

02/08/14 13:47:16

“I’m really enjoying Steve Fosbraey’s autobiography.”
“But how can you be sure he wrote it himself?”

06/05/12 11:01:06

“Let him have his fun. Then we’ll give him the scan results.”

05/05/12 11:26:16

You too can experience the magic of the Eden Project.

22/04/12 20:12:11

He can hardly be accused of grooming.

31/03/12 11:11:23

Although Rajan washes the trousers, it’s clearly his wife that wears them.

28/11/11 11:10:06

She loved him, even when he started flashing.

17/11/11 22:30:57

Every Halloween, Tom goes trick or eating.

12/11/11 20:04:35

"Who ordered the stripper?"

09/11/11 20:14:58

What do Phlebotomists ask themselves before taking blood?

29/10/11 20:14:10

"Now how do I wipe it... ?"

06/10/11 12:20:42

Steward prevents bitch invasion.

13/09/11 14:15:35

"Fetch the harpoon. I can get a head shot. And maybe even the fish."

23/07/14 22:03:36

What a slapper.

17/07/14 21:11:21

"The wife says I never help with the cooking. Hopefully this'll shutter up."

18/12/12 21:30:12

Art or graffiti? It’s a bit of a tawny issue.

13/07/12 11:00:18

Jake’s attempt to swim the channel had gone well. Then he spotted the ‘Welcome to Somalia’ sign.

15/05/12 11:21:34

He was once spotted in a public toilet without his suit or glasses, but there was definitely a fag in his mouth.

07/05/12 20:16:10

She went out with the kids, whilst he stayed at home watching spawn.

09/04/12 11:00:16

Rock, paper, anal fissures.

29/03/12 11:07:51

“Caught anything pal?”
“Gonorrhoea once.”

26/03/12 21:23:04