creative

The Pristine Chapel.

02/07/14 8:00:20

lol x3

"For the last time, will you stop playing those bloody drums!"

31/03/16 15:07:53

Pupcakes

11/09/15 20:00:09

lol creative

Lymphomaniac.

13/06/14 13:28:16

creative

“Yes Doctor, I’ve cut down to one cigarette a day.”

15/04/14 20:00:29

No wonder there was a Wall Street crash.

31/01/14 8:54:21

lol x2

The Queen’s Passing Out Parade

17/04/16 12:00:12

Sealfie

01/10/15 8:00:08

lol x2

OK, that dentist has definitely gone too far this time.

22/09/15 20:00:06

creative

Ministry of Silly Hawks

28/09/14 21:52:57

No wonder Darth Vader always sounded out of breath.

03/08/14 20:00:18

lol

“Gran, we want to take you on a little trip to Switzerland. What do you think?”

01/06/14 12:00:07

lol

A ginger pussy, a pole and two fat cows...reminds me of my stag night.

17/06/13 12:05:04

Going by the size of her flaps, she's not a Virgin.

26/02/14 14:39:26

lol creative

Say what you like about Gaddafi, but he did produce a nice line of novelty bottle openers.

17/12/13 20:06:35

Are you a man or a mouse?

10/03/13 8:22:10

lol

Even while off duty, Trevor the Traffic Warden was determined to give the bastard a ticket.

26/08/15 12:00:17

lol x2

“What’s that Skippy? You’ve been shot by an American dentist?”

11/08/15 20:00:06

♫ This is pound control to Major Tom ♫

18/02/16 8:00:06

lol x2

"Holy smoke Batman, if only there was some sign to guide us to where the Joker is hiding."

22/05/13 12:20:27

"Mr Twotter, this phone you sold me is borrocks!"

23/04/13 12:05:38

Is it twenty tu-tu?

29/10/15 20:00:06

clever

“Bloody dog. Why couldn’t it dig in someone else’s garden?” complained Fred West.

26/10/14 13:18:09

I don't know whether to eat it or wear it to Ascot.

22/03/14 12:11:28

That's a nasty head wound. I've got some cream for that.

29/12/13 8:21:03

lol

"It's no use. I can't do it with that David Attenborough watching."

15/11/13 9:26:03

lol x2

"When I asked you to wear smart jackets..."

10/11/13 20:09:58

Nightwear on Elm Tree

03/02/13 20:08:39

Scientists spot a slight flaw in their Invisibility Research program.

21/09/14 20:00:07

“OK guys,” said Jesus. “Which one of you has put LSD in the f*cking wine again?!”

08/09/14 8:00:06

The Islamic version of Mrs Doubtfire required considerably less make-up.
(RIP Robin)

12/08/14 8:21:55

creative

“I’m going to sioux that hairdresser.”

21/06/14 8:00:06

Flaming hell, how hard were you masturbating?

05/05/14 20:00:20

I think you dropped your cigarette love. And set fire to the hillside by the look of it.

11/06/13 20:02:49

creative x2

Alas, Geppetto died before he could finish work on Pinocchio's girlfriend.

11/05/13 13:30:30

And I thought Jesus was against women getting stoned.

24/03/13 14:13:51

"Right Mrs Smith," said the vet. "What first alerted you to the fact your dog had lost his sense of smell?"

19/09/15 8:05:35

lol clever

David Attenborough watches the silverback from a respectful distance.

08/06/16 20:00:21

"Never mind the coffee. Where's my bloody cornflakes?"

27/11/15 15:20:50

Five hours after they set up the roadblock, police are still waiting for The Modfather to appear.

14/10/14 20:00:06

Posh Spice taking a selfie.

21/09/14 20:00:18

Domestic abuse.

10/09/14 15:01:04

Peter Porker

15/08/14 8:00:07

creative x2

Match of the Bay.

16/07/14 20:00:06

Boris Johnson’s latest love child is a bit of a surprise.

28/04/14 12:00:07

David Attenborough: "There is evidence that these previously shy creatures are getting boulder."

04/02/14 8:52:53

Paula Radcliffe's children are a bit more discreet than their mother when it comes to their runs.

30/01/14 12:09:47

lol

Pope Benedict announces his resignation in an unusual manner.

11/02/13 13:37:03

Superman badly misjudged his landing.

11/11/12 8:53:58

All hands on deck.

17/08/14 20:00:06

Brogues gallery.

11/08/14 8:00:07

And that is how Clarence became cross-eyed.

06/07/14 12:14:01

My-Tea Mouse.

05/07/14 12:00:07

lol

No wonder it’s half price, it doesn’t look anything like Demi Moore.

26/06/14 12:00:09

Diving Boardeaux.

26/03/14 20:03:35

That must be John Thaw's side.

23/02/14 13:48:55

creative

The reason these hitchhikers were never picked up? They didn't know how to spell 'SLOUGH'.

28/11/13 20:18:12

And the prize for the wurst photo goes to...

08/11/13 12:04:35

Lymphomaniacs.

11/05/13 20:01:29

Crumb Scene Investigation

27/02/13 20:29:56

The Eastenders Christmas special was as low-key and cheerful as usual.

11/12/12 9:44:36

lol

"Needs some cream," said Gregg Wallace in the novelty dessert section of the Masterchef final.

03/05/16 13:56:51

Church Belles

08/01/16 8:00:15

Pier pressure

13/09/15 12:00:37

♫ Holding back the ears ♫

04/09/15 8:00:09

Just for a change, the congregation flash the priest.

04/08/15 12:00:06

creative

“No Nellie, this isn’t a good time to trumpety-trump.”

28/07/15 20:00:41

“Bloody kids drive me up the wall!”

08/08/14 20:00:30

“Quick! Call a sturgeon!”

23/07/14 20:00:44

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s just a Fathers for Justice bloke pissed again.

19/06/14 8:00:19

Never again would George make the mistake of asking Mildred for a 55 inch plasma telly to watch the World Cup on.

19/05/14 8:00:06

A bad case of vandruff.

30/04/14 12:00:07

KITT is getting quite old, needing extra blankets and a catheter.

30/01/14 8:05:11

"Here clitty, clitty, clitty."

10/01/14 20:04:37

lol

Eat, drink and be buried.

22/11/13 14:53:56

He's not fat, he just happens to be wearing everything he owns, on his way to board a Ryanair flight with no luggage.

19/10/13 21:12:38

The garden gnomes head off to a fancy dress party.

09/07/13 20:01:00

Looks like he's got a bad case of polaroids.

13/06/13 14:12:16

"I'm sorry Mr Huhne, are you seriously telling me an alien was driving when the speed camera flashed you?"

01/03/13 13:53:17

lol

"Forget the 72 virgins...this is much more fun."

03/01/13 15:04:16

"I think I packed my passport in a blue one."

08/12/12 14:52:31

Crack dealer.

21/10/12 13:45:50

Bittern’s Got Talent

03/06/16 20:00:12

lol

"Er, President Trump, sir. Which button did you press?"

21/05/16 13:59:17

Dave liked to go with the floe.

04/04/16 8:00:07

She’s just got back from the DVD clinic.

20/01/16 12:00:15

Cat scan.

01/12/15 20:00:21

“You cannot be serious!”

18/09/15 20:00:06

They chute tourists don’t they?

15/09/15 12:00:08

The special effects for the Jurassic World sequel need a little work.

25/07/15 8:00:23

At this hotel, they really lay out the welcome Matt.

07/09/14 8:02:34

“What do you mean you can’t do it while David Attenborough is watching?”

01/09/14 20:00:18

lol

Chickens don't just cross the road, they frickin' own it.

27/07/14 20:00:31

Palm Olive.

17/07/14 20:01:01

“There isn’t enough beer in the world,” thought Homer.

21/06/14 20:00:18

Pirates of the Car-I-been-in.

17/06/14 12:00:07

His dad will crucify him for not wearing a helmet.

16/06/14 20:00:06

The gilt was written all over her face.

10/06/14 12:00:09

"Hi, I'm Barry Scott and even Cilit Bang gave up on this pile of crap."

04/06/14 20:06:27

It’s not the best waxwork I’ve ever seen of Tony Curtis.

09/05/14 12:00:17

"I didn't know we had pink icing."
"We don't. I lost a finger in the food mixer."
"Do I want to know where the brown icing came from?"

22/03/14 12:19:58

lol

Comic Relief is going for a slightly different image this year.

25/02/14 12:04:18

My legs are all ask-ewe.

21/04/13 12:00:51

creative

The boys were intrigued by the four-legged referee.

24/03/13 8:58:02

Whinny Peg.

07/02/13 20:08:17

Fag ash Gill

03/02/13 8:42:00

The 6 dollar man.

16/01/13 20:45:48

Claire Balding telling Frankie Dettori he's been a very naughty boy.

28/12/12 9:31:24

The new Farmers Wives calendar is released.

28/10/12 14:10:00

She really did wash that man right out of her hair!

28/09/12 9:11:03

Crocodile Rock

14/10/14 8:00:06

Dobbin would later fall victim to the gay pride.

19/08/14 12:02:16

Lardy in Red

21/07/14 12:00:06

The Glasgow Commonwealth Games committee are pleased to confirm that the accommodation block for the English athletes is now in place.

09/07/14 20:00:07

Afternoon Tea is served with vole-au-vents.

05/07/14 12:00:19

Scythe matters.

17/06/14 20:00:32

Ryanair deny accusations that their policy on ejecting rowdy passengers is too harsh.

05/06/14 20:00:21

“Nurse, I said put in an IV line, not an ivy line!”

04/06/14 8:00:06

What every golfer wants… 6 birdies in one round.

24/04/14 20:00:06

♫ Lardy in red ♫

16/04/14 20:00:07

Any second now and it won’t be just the bear who’s shitting in the woods.

15/04/14 12:00:30

Photo shoot.

19/01/14 11:43:00

Whiskas Mother.

18/01/14 8:06:00

Who you gonna call? Ghost-dusters!

09/01/14 12:02:30

A sale of two titties.

04/11/13 14:49:46

My wife pulls a face like that whenever she has sausage in cider.

14/09/13 20:06:07

He still can't believe it's not butter.

12/09/13 20:00:41

Brian was fed up with the magic roundabout and decided to try something different.

20/08/13 8:01:48

creative

"Yeah, I've got repetitive strain injury right here. It's from typing out all the complete works of Shakespeare."

08/08/13 20:02:47

In the 'Design a roof for Wimbledon' competition, this was the rather less expensive runner-up.

17/07/13 8:42:01

"Hon, wouldn't it be easier if you just fixed the damn highchair?"

05/06/13 9:33:00

♫ Whale meat again... ♫

28/02/13 8:01:26

"Remember where I told you the G-spot was? Right, in you go then."

28/12/12 9:15:22

"Has anyone seen my guide dog? He ran off after my acupuncture session."

27/10/12 21:15:56

And the wiener is...

19/12/15 20:39:09

I didn't know Donald Trump wore nail polish.

08/12/15 14:34:08

Glacier mince

03/10/15 14:43:54

Brian Cox never seems to get any older.

27/09/15 12:00:08

“Can’t you just use toilet roll like everybody else?”

19/09/15 8:00:20

Mastershep

11/09/15 20:00:54

"I can't promise to come quietly."

30/08/15 13:20:48

Bag for life.

14/07/15 8:28:17

Jeremy Clarkson denies tampering with Chris Evans brakes.

12/07/15 8:56:10

creative

"No, I said I wanted four candles."

04/07/15 12:59:56

The Scarlet Pimp & Nell

18/10/14 7:51:15

The progeny of the Shrek / Davros test tube experiment celebrates his 1st birthday.

07/06/16 9:10:56

Tyson Furry

13/02/16 12:57:50

Elvis has swallowed the building.

30/11/15 20:01:53

"Mister Sulu, I think you have some explaining to do."

30/11/15 19:05:08

What's the score? Tu-tu.

13/11/15 20:01:35

Mewbacca

30/10/15 20:00:07

There are more humane ways to get rid of gingers.

26/09/15 8:00:08

lol

Bah F*cking Humbug

22/09/15 20:00:31

“I see you brought your own tripod.”

13/09/15 8:00:18

So that's what breakneck speed is like.

17/08/15 13:57:49

Walter Palmer receives a surprise delivery from the Amazon.

06/08/15 8:00:08

8 out of 10 cats are lazy bastards.

20/07/15 8:00:06

The Booze Brothers

29/10/14 20:00:08

What did his mother expect when she shagged a unicorn?

29/09/14 12:00:06

He really was shitting bricks.

06/09/14 8:00:08

Even in adulthood, the Von Trapp boys were still wearing the damn curtains.

04/09/14 8:00:17

The closing ceremony for the Commonwealth Games is a little simpler than the opening one.

28/07/14 20:00:26

The girls were well known for the size of their jugs.

10/07/14 20:00:09

It's the year 2030 and Charles and Camilla are still waiting for the old bag to croak.

30/06/14 9:21:55

“Do you mind? I’m trying to have a shit in private here.”

27/06/14 8:00:07

Sharon Stone’s grandmothers get some fresh air.

16/06/14 8:00:08

Andy Murray wasn’t convinced by Amelie’s new coaching regime.

10/06/14 20:00:08

“Midas… keep your hands off the servants. At least until they’ve finished work.”

10/06/14 12:00:20

The Texas Chainstore Massacre.

07/06/14 20:00:07

creative

“That will teach you for being careless with my Wispa!”

05/06/14 12:00:07

Tyrannosaurus Rex.

25/04/14 12:00:18

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing… so get on one, you fat lazy bastard!

12/04/14 20:00:08

♫ It’s a nice day for a shite wedding ♫

06/04/14 12:00:07

creative

Smack my bitch up.

31/03/14 12:00:08

On reflection, this is what Oscar Pistorius should have done.

22/03/14 12:17:06

lol

"Darling, when you said your new boyfriend's family were Goths..."

17/01/14 10:04:19

"That thieving bitch Goldilocks isn't gonna get away from me now!"

02/01/14 13:34:37

I told him not to heckle that juggler.

24/12/13 8:21:43

He's no longer a tallboy.

24/12/13 8:20:25

Fred and Rosemary West would soon regret getting a dog.

06/11/13 14:02:31

creative

I didn't know the Klingons held beauty pageants.

09/09/13 12:04:55

"It's not very good Mr Hirst. Perhaps if you cover it in diamonds..."

22/07/13 8:28:44

Ronald Mcdonald had a very Unhappy Meal.

14/07/13 8:19:03

"Forget those annoying meerkats, I can get you lo-cust insurance."

12/07/13 11:58:46

The world's most uncomfortable helter-skelter.

08/07/13 8:10:56

creative

Philip Larkin's famous line: "They duck you up, your mum and dad."

05/06/13 9:29:36

"I'll just look all innocent, they'll think the bearded guy dropped one."

12/04/13 12:04:12

"I'm sure they said there was a duck in here somewhere."

19/03/13 20:03:09

"Honey, wouldn't it have been cheaper to just buy a new Scrabble set?"

21/12/12 9:00:24

"You're right, it does smell of fish."

30/04/16 8:33:13

Due to new Health and Safety measures, this is what the 2017 Women's Boat Race will look like.

28/03/16 14:08:27

Britney’s Got Talons

18/03/16 20:00:07

lol

And to think Dragons Den turned him down.

13/03/16 12:07:32

"On second thoughts, I think I'd like to go back to the animal shelter."

21/01/16 14:40:17

lol

8 out of 10 cats prefer not to be used as temporary repairs until the plumber turns up.

16/01/16 14:07:44

Scary Poppins

16/01/16 8:11:52

Keep your hair looking like you’re just walked out of the saloon.

06/12/15 12:00:16

lol

I don't care if there's a blockage, I'm not sucking that.

02/12/15 9:03:10

creative

My Big Fat Flopsy Wedding

31/10/15 8:00:09

Grime fighters

25/09/15 8:00:13